ADV: The Coffee Love Story

Been so extremely stressed out lately!

&

On the 30th June, I completed my tax filing like a law-abiding citizen, only to get a rude shock when I discovered the amount of tax I have to pay can only be described as obscene.

Crunching numbers ain’t not my forte, yet I was too silly to pay for the services of an accountant to handle the numbers for my business income.

In the end, my invoices and receipts were all over the place and I paid a huge sum of money to the Malaysian Government – not because I am earning lots, but because I did all the book-keeping by myself and absolutely sucked at it.

Times like these, I really wish I had hired an accountant so I could just sit back, relax and chill lah.

Just like this dude right here.

Another thing I absolutely sucked at is writing short stories.

Growing up, I always prefer to read non-fiction books (like those from the Recommended section in Singapore) instead of any fictional titles from the likes of JK Rowling, JRR Tolkien or Stephanie Meyer. As a result, my imagination and story-telling skillz suck.

But you see, here’s the thing.

There is a script-writing contest by Nescafe where the first prize is RM10,000 in cash. For Nuffnang bloggers (which I am), they’ll throw RM3,000 cash my way just for making it into the Top 20. Click here for easy money!

The only catch is that the storyline must feature Nescafe Chilled Coffee cans. And those coffee cans must be speaking in Chill Lah language – otherwise known as homonyms.

Again, I am not very good at writing short-stories. I am even worse at thinking in homonyms.

But since I’m terribly broke right now after paying my outstanding taxes to the Inland Revenue Board, I decided to give it a shot and send in my script. I must warn you though, it is really REALLY lame.

Let’s see if you are smart enough to decipher what this short story starring Nescafe chilled cans speaking in Chill Lah language is all about. Behold…

The Coffee Love Story
by Kenny Sia

Once upon a time…

In a park somewhere in Kuching city, a lonely girl sits by herself impatiently.

She’s waiting for someone. Someone who was already late again for their date.

From a distance, a boy came rapidly running towards her. Wheezing and panting, he apologised profusely. He knew he had done something wrong.

The girl, however, is not impressed. And she proceeded to give the boy a major arse whopping.

Boys being boys, he attempted dodging responsibility.

But it was to no avail.

All of a sudden, a good-looking guy emerged from behind Black Roast.

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It’s Mr Original.

She was instantly mesmerized. Hand in hand, Black Roast and him walked off together into the sunset.

Leaving poor boy Latte all on his own.

 

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The End.

 

It’s the Chill Lah language, geddit?

Blog Plug of the Day: AkiraCeo.com is a cute and creative comic blog by a fellow Kuching dude who prefers to draw his blog, rather than writing it. Some of his thoughts are absolutely hilarious and amusing when done as comics.

What I find even more amusing is that he draws himself as a cat, and his friends are drawn as monkeys, pandas, chickens…

75 Replies to “ADV: The Coffee Love Story”

  1. It’s definitely the chill lah language. Was biting my lips trying not to laugh out loud reading it!! Hahahahah good one!xD

  2. Hey dude, you are right, you have better change finishing a full marathon in three hrs than winning the Rm10,000. πŸ™‚

  3. No idea why Nescafe came out with this kind of contest. Is this what we want our children to speak? ‘Liddat’? Shame on you, Nescafe!

  4. I hav no idea @all deal wif the contest but bro u r D@MN ROCK lah !! hw come u can cre8 things such tat uh ?! respect u lah , good job !

  5. Ekk…I can’t hardly understand the cill language. maybe I’m not chill enough lor

  6. LOL! Can’t believe I can actually understand the whole story. But i don’t get what “tiu dee son” is though. yew sow cray ate teeth lah kenny. xD

  7. “Tiu dee son oso roasted mee buek buek liaw.”
    I still couldn’t get what does “Tiu dee son” means.. =| I’ve been reading the short stories like 3 times.

  8. i am an english teacher (actually not yet lah, still studying…) and i find this interesting. language games indicate your level of language proficiency and measure how well you know/understand the rules in language.

  9. Ha ha Kenny, this is really funny!
    Wah, so much money, I’m going to join, to earn some CASH lah, not many contest out there nowadays that offer so much $$$.
    Thanks for the info.

  10. Hey, this language is so cryptic lah…
    must learn better English to do Homonyms…
    RM67,000 wah, eye one eye one!

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