Been so extremely stressed out lately!
On the 30th June, I completed my tax filing like a law-abiding citizen, only to get a rude shock when I discovered the amount of tax I have to pay can only be described as obscene.
Crunching numbers ain’t not my forte, yet I was too silly to pay for the services of an accountant to handle the numbers for my business income.
In the end, my invoices and receipts were all over the place and I paid a huge sum of money to the Malaysian Government – not because I am earning lots, but because I did all the book-keeping by myself and absolutely sucked at it.
Times like these, I really wish I had hired an accountant so I could just sit back, relax and chill lah.
Just like this dude right here.
Another thing I absolutely sucked at is writing short stories.
Growing up, I always prefer to read non-fiction books (like those from the Recommended section in Singapore) instead of any fictional titles from the likes of JK Rowling, JRR Tolkien or Stephanie Meyer. As a result, my imagination and story-telling skillz suck.
But you see, here’s the thing.
There is a script-writing contest by Nescafe where the first prize is RM10,000 in cash. For Nuffnang bloggers (which I am), they’ll throw RM3,000 cash my way just for making it into the Top 20. Click here for easy money!
The only catch is that the storyline must feature Nescafe Chilled Coffee cans. And those coffee cans must be speaking in Chill Lah language – otherwise known as homonyms.
Again, I am not very good at writing short-stories. I am even worse at thinking in homonyms.
But since I’m terribly broke right now after paying my outstanding taxes to the Inland Revenue Board, I decided to give it a shot and send in my script. I must warn you though, it is really REALLY lame.
Let’s see if you are smart enough to decipher what this short story starring Nescafe chilled cans speaking in Chill Lah language is all about. Behold…
The Coffee Love Story
by Kenny Sia
Once upon a time…
In a park somewhere in Kuching city, a lonely girl sits by herself impatiently.
She’s waiting for someone. Someone who was already late again for their date.
From a distance, a boy came rapidly running towards her. Wheezing and panting, he apologised profusely. He knew he had done something wrong.
The girl, however, is not impressed. And she proceeded to give the boy a major arse whopping.
Boys being boys, he attempted dodging responsibility.
But it was to no avail.
All of a sudden, a good-looking guy emerged from behind Black Roast.
It’s Mr Original.
She was instantly mesmerized. Hand in hand, Black Roast and him walked off together into the sunset.
Leaving poor boy Latte all on his own.
It’s the Chill Lah language, geddit?
Blog Plug of the Day: AkiraCeo.com is a cute and creative comic blog by a fellow Kuching dude who prefers to draw his blog, rather than writing it. Some of his thoughts are absolutely hilarious and amusing when done as comics.
What I find even more amusing is that he draws himself as a cat, and his friends are drawn as monkeys, pandas, chickens…
wat da puck!?
tis ish kewl ! 😀
eye likey it ! 😀
It’s definitely the chill lah language. Was biting my lips trying not to laugh out loud reading it!! Hahahahah good one!xD
What the #uck? This is so lame …i cannot believe I even click this #ucking blog!
oh god it took me so long to decipher everything -.-.;;
hahahahah….fun tas tik!!!…hahaha
Hey dude, you are right, you have better change finishing a full marathon in three hrs than winning the Rm10,000. 🙂
haha…. good wan…
ayam kenny… hehehe
catch no ball.
liak bo kew.
No idea why Nescafe came out with this kind of contest. Is this what we want our children to speak? ‘Liddat’? Shame on you, Nescafe!
sum tyme… id iz gut to lid sam thin dat lamb…
That is super funny and super cute!!!LOL!
haha XD funny that conversation XD kaka
I hav no idea @all deal wif the contest but bro u r D@MN ROCK lah !! hw come u can cre8 things such tat uh ?! respect u lah , good job !
that effing funny, awe SUM :)))
ahaha, LATTE!!!! LOL!
nice job ler..
u really submit this entry?
I can understand a bit, but 3% only lah 😛
am trying to control myself not to laugh out so loud! your blog is really entertaining!
hello kitty? why did Uncle kenny symbolize girl with Hello kitty leh? Should put more realistic thing on it…like..
walau eh so hard to read. Lol
*touch and tears*
Thank you so so much for the blog plug… 🙂
dees ees wan of der fahneeyest stowees eye’v efer red!
o mai kod. dis wan ah,so farney wan. until i laff kau2. beh tahan.
eh Kedah no pork eat liao la.. how a?? if one day sarawak got no pork….
dick this up!
Dis is pharking-lee farnee, bart doncha tink ish kinda laim?
oooo my cock, u arrr veli farnee la bladder, tenkiu veli mush!
is really crap. lolx!
Aye Whip aye ape moar diam phor phis lo!!
not bad written anyway >.
eye wash heffing pro blame rid ting eet..lol
THIS IS MADNESS!!!!
hae-hae! dish is he-lah-rious..
eww ken reelatte witt da nest car fay!
nice wan kenny! =)
eh, lame leh.
Ekk…I can’t hardly understand the cill language. maybe I’m not chill enough lor
whut da phuck? nest kay fay ease sow laem
LOL, I liked it. Wasn’t lame la :]
very hard to understand the chill language leh..
hahaha. great story.
too chilling for me….haha, still good effort kenny!
U lost me…I dun understand at all. -__-”
it’s not lame…i couldn’t stop laughing…haha!
eye wanna wind! RM67,000!$$$
icon no mee marrow sort now.. $$$ ease everything!
super farni sia!
seriously, i don’t understand this kind of greek language. Kenny, do the translation plz
LOL! Can’t believe I can actually understand the whole story. But i don’t get what “tiu dee son” is though. yew sow cray ate teeth lah kenny. xD
“Tiu dee son oso roasted mee buek buek liaw.”
I still couldn’t get what does “Tiu dee son” means.. =| I’ve been reading the short stories like 3 times.
It says, ‘Till the sun also roasted me black black liao’, i think, hoho.
Regarding the “Short Talk”…the guy draws himself as a cat because he’s a KUCHING DUDE…duh!
Old Mine Got…
‘black black liao’
now only understand… chilllah…
*I can imagine English teachers nationwide cringing at this Chill Lah language!* lol
not really a good entry from u. i’m honest! xD
Hi Kenny i think this post is quite boring lol..
DONT GET THE LANGUAGE! 🙁
This is funny men ..LOL 😀
i am an english teacher (actually not yet lah, still studying…) and i find this interesting. language games indicate your level of language proficiency and measure how well you know/understand the rules in language.
Lol…what a story. I used minutes to understand the coffee talk 😀
i should participate too i guess!!
It’s Stephenie Meyer, with an ‘E’ not Stephanie (the usual spelling). LOL! 🙂
i like the short story^^
dude her singing wasn’t bad! She was just too emotional but she didnt go off pitch or anything!
Ha ha Kenny, this is really funny!
Wah, so much money, I’m going to join, to earn some CASH lah, not many contest out there nowadays that offer so much $$$.
Thanks for the info.
ayam lap-ing dis entre berry mush
Hey, this language is so cryptic lah…
must learn better English to do Homonyms…
RM67,000 wah, eye one eye one!
FYI, the contest is now extended till 23rd August 2009, so you still have chance to win!
Submit your entry today and win $$$$$$$$$.
tis ease vely lam chop lah.
but vely hillary us
Good one Kenny!
Anyways, this is my personal favourite!
I speak mostly French and do not understand much of what you are saying but thank you. I used translation google to translate and a lot of words got mixed up.