A Practical Joke Gone Wrong

Update #1: Curtis replied.
Update #2: ‘Su Ku Kia’ in my language means ‘Silly Boy’. Nothing malicious. Something 8-year-old kids would use to insult each other.
Curtis Gropp has been following my blog for quite some time now. He’s always faithfully leaving comments eventhough he’s one of those who falls outside the category of “kennysia.com‘s expected audience”.
I used to be naive enough to believe that the average kennysia.com reader is likely to from Malaysia, Chinese, and somewhere between 15 to 35 years old. But after learning that even my stupid blog was routinely mentioned in Harvard University’s Global Voices Online, I think I’ll believe in just about anything.
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Curtis is nothing like my stereotypical kennysia.com reader. He is 39 years old, an ang moh, hails from Huntington Beach, California, a proud and patriotic American, a former marine, and apparently a Hong-Kong action movie aficionado.
A few weeks ago, Curtis left a comment in one my entries.

I’d like to have a Chinese name. How do you say “8-inch penis”?

Posted by: Curtis G. at June 9, 2005 12:54 AM

To which I replied:

Curtis G, hey I enjoy giving out Chinese names! Anyway in Chinese, “8-inch penis” is called “Su Ku Kia”. But I doubt you can pick up any Chinese girls when you go “Hi! My name is Su Ku Kia.” Chinese girls aren’t used to that kind of straight forwardness you know?

Posted by: Kenny at June 9, 2005 03:25 AM

Fast forward a few days later. I completely forgotten about what I said to him, and I was puzzled as to why he signed off differently nowadays.
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He even went as far as to use his newfound Chinese name to comment on other blogs.
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From ShaolinTiger.com

Oh dear. What have I done?
Should we tell him or should we just let him suffer in silence?

121 Replies to “A Practical Joke Gone Wrong”

  1. Well you’ll have your leagions of fans to take the bullets for you when he hunts you down… its okay.. you are safe.. πŸ˜€

  2. Gosh… is that a joke?? I mean is a girl will either be
    1. intimidated, i mean… that’s huge!
    2. Fall head over toes on him.
    3. Go report to police…

  3. You know what – it could have the reverse effect because when they hear that coming from an angmoh ppl would be intrigued man!
    Yo Curtis, you famous now! πŸ˜›
    ps. he reads my blog too – be nice lah! Hahahah…..

  4. hahahahahahhahahaha.
    sorry, i’m just laughing and rolling on the floor. it’s so funny. you’re so going to hell for this. hehe.

  5. Walauuu… you should tell him the truth man… And he reads your blog some more.. He knows it’s a joke once he reads this post… So I guess you have no choice but to tell him the truth right? Haha… You’re funny Kenny…

  6. OMG I really cannot imagine him using that line on some chinese girls “Hi gals. My name is Curtis but you can call me Su Ku Kia.”
    I really dunno what to do for you sia! If you tell him … well … you might get hell! But then spare him future embarrassment?

  7. Wah lau (present tense), Wah liew (past tense), Wah Piang (past continuous tense)…hahaha… in my dialect here su ku means quater.. so tats mean he hav a quater long penis… wahahahahha

  8. omgg!! Kenny!! I guess u should tell him the truth.. hahahhahhaa…
    Su Ku Kia & 8 inch penis aint the same meaning lehh… you are so bad.. hahahahhahahahhahhahahah
    -________-”

  9. Su Ku means something like ‘sotong’ (for Singaporeans), if you still don’t get it, it means ‘silly’. Kia simply means punk, or kid.
    so Su Ku Kia is something like silly punk
    lol, the irony…haha

  10. Su Ku means something like ‘sotong’ (for Singaporeans), if you still don’t get it, it means ‘silly’. Kia simply means punk, or kid.
    so Su Ku Kia is something like silly kid
    lol, the irony…haha

  11. I think you had better tell him the truth just in case he goes around calling himself su ku kia man. Or else you’ll lose another reader and earn yourself another hater. Hahaha..

  12. oh my goodness tell him hahaha or you just might lose your californian reader hahahahaha….. backfired la kenny…backfired… πŸ˜›

  13. jackson: eh hello….it’s called “satire” lah si-boh. Note his ATF shirt, and then note the bottle of gin – I assume (Alcohol), the cigarette (Tobacco) and the shotgun (Firearm).

  14. LoL…u r damn mean…makes me wonder if any guy has been motivated to name his male genital Su Ku Kia…haha

  15. You are just mean!! What happened if you dont understand english and some people give u name such as fucker!

  16. nice man… but it would have been more funny seeing him actuallly call himself ba chun bang in front of a chinese gal… su ku is a bit of hokkien wif malay influence, so angmoh chinese wont actually noe wat it is…

  17. omg hahahhahahaha eh su ku kia really means sotong punk kid ah???
    when i saw su ku kia, i was thinking of something else. su ku as in suku as in a quarter. then i was thinking of d penis.
    so umm…… quarter inch penis??
    OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA SO DAMN SHORTTTTTTTTTTT

  18. Hey Dude, Curtis should thank you as you gave him a great pickup line.
    Imagine Curtis goes to the Beach Club in KL…or Soho.. in Kuching. He introduce himself to a local girl, “Hi, I am Sukukia”..a girl probably lighten up, feel a little strange, perhaps a bllush, but then she feels sorry for Curtis for being punked, this is how a conversation initiat, from a humorous start. The girl would malu malu tell Curtis what does Sukukia mean as human always like to correct others, make her feels a little superior, plus we Malaysian are pretty freidnly and helpful in nature…after a drink or two… she would fell for him and his Γ₯…«Γ₯Β―ΒΈΓ©β€‘Λœ ….a little bar pickup techniques for your 15 to 35 years old male readers who only get to Γ¦β€°β€œΓ©Β£β€ΊΓ¦Ε“ΒΊ on Saturday nights.
    Folks you have to think outside the circle….may be that is why shy shy Chinak guys have a hard time pick up /impress ladies, where as the fatass, 45 year old, beer bellied, Oil Rig Expat worker goes back to his hotel with the finest babe from the Club.

  19. To the idiot that left a racist and inflammatory comment on Curtis’ blog, you are a f**king loser. Don’t complain about racism when you are a racist yourself, asshole.

  20. Poor guy. I think u shud tell him abt this. I can’t imagine how furious he can be after knowing the truth.

  21. I saw that guy’s message on Curtis’ side. I’m afraid he has succeeded in making himself sound like a total idiot.

  22. after seeing so many ‘omg!’ and ‘what’s sukukia?’ i think u can either leave it alone as it is or even just tell him straight to his face saying it’s a silly dialague we use in kch. haha!
    OMG! i’m beginning to love ur post once more!!

  23. Wahlaueh… What kinda sane person who reads Kennysia’s blog all the time would actually believe in Kenny’s advice.. 😑

  24. OMG, Kenny! How can you do this to such a decent bloke?! (I do that to my English pals as well, oh well, least they get the English girls and I get their ‘Burst-out-laughing’ chinese chicks)

  25. I have an Aussie pal dating an Honkie chick. He asked me for a chinese name to use to impress her folks. I said, use “hamsup”. It means, smart and intelligent. I told his gf, and she played along too, so the Aussie guy has been using hamsup for his name for the last year.

  26. So the joke is on me, is it? Well, let me just say that when I thought “su ku kia” meant “8-inch penis,” it was cool. Now that I know it doesn’t…it’s still cool. And funny as fuck. You think they might cover this in your local newspaper? That would be DOPE.
    I thought I might post a little visual entertainment for your readers, but then I decided that it would have been so utterly tasteless that I would have regretted it immediately. (Oh, yeahÒ€”I guess I exaggerated a little. How would you say “SEVEN-inch penis”?)
    I only hope that when I someday visit Malaysia and meet Kenny for dinner, someone will recognize me and call out, “Su Ku Kia!” And I’ll smile, nod knowingly and reply, “You’re damn right.”
    Anyway, thanks for the traffic, Kenny. I ain’t mad atcha. But y’know, I still owe you. This *could* mean war…
    Ò€”Curtis G. (aka Su Ku muthafuckin’ Kia)

  27. Hey skk, try “pwayk chun kia” or “chit chun kia”. Literally translated to 8″ or 7″ kid.

  28. hahaaa…. you naughty boy! i think juz tell him u got a better chinese name for him… hahaa….

  29. “SEVEN Inch Penis” ? Should be ” Qi Chun Jin ” right? Qi as in ( Chi ). Chun as in (Choon). Jin as
    in (Gin)

  30. i think you should tell him the truth. or else, if he found out himself one day, he’ll be hurt that you lied to him or make fun of him.

  31. i think you should tell him the truth. or else, if he found out himself one day, he’ll be hurt that you lied to him or make fun of him.

  32. I wonder… What happen if someone read this, din know what Su Ku Kia actually meant, and went on to tattoo it on his body…(Let’s not say on where…-wink-)
    It’ll be interesting to see it and have a good laugh. =D

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    Please do! I know everyone’s been very upset about the NKF saga and everything.. but when we called to donate the money the money didn’t belong to us anymore… it belonged to the needy. And Durai didn’t ‘steal’ the money from us he took it from the needy… the ones who STILL need it NOW! If we’re not going to help now, then they will suffer injustice a second time. No matter how angry you are at that man, please do not lose faith. Please donate.
    I beg you then.
    Sorry for using your blog to write this… PLease forgive me.

  34. aiyoh…evil lah you. Poor Su Ku Kia! Anyway, he probably know what you did now with this entry. Hmm..wonder whether he’ll still use his newly adopted name.

  35. Yo! Su Ku Kia! Respect/Respect….Glad that you can take the joke positively. Anyway, it’s just a harmless joke by Kenny “Lampakia” Sia

  36. what about you suggesting a name for my dog? cos i’m getting a westie. i thought of westiesaurus, but it’s too bombastic. ha.

  37. lol..
    latest update… Cortis “THE Su Ku Kia”!
    Cortis, my utmost respect to you man!
    Kenny, you’re talented with name giving…
    perhaps an extra service is applicable? haha..
    you could like.. charge a few dollars for a name and i’ll be your manager.. hahaha… kidding man..
    awesome blog!
    my first time here actually πŸ˜‰

  38. fcukling, Westiesaurus is too long. Its easy to think of a name for a dog. Keep it at two syllables max, and let it end with a ‘y’.
    eg. Kenny.

  39. Agree with Missy Claris. Su Ku Kia means mad child. Su Ku as in ‘tiga suku’, half past six, not quite right. Kia as in child.
    Aiyah…..whatever it is, it certainly has made Curtis famous….in a good way!…i think…

  40. kids out there, don’t simply play practical jokes okay? you will never know when su ku kia will show up at your house and point that gun at you :p (if he ever finds out what that means…he just might have if he starts reading your comments)

  41. Omg Kenny!!! That was total evil!!! I couldn’t stop laughing… till now.. wiping my tears of laughter off… But, I gotta give it to Curtis!! He’s a real trooper!! Way to go man… Su Ku Kia… ROTFL!!

  42. OMG..Evil Kenny! Ought to apologise to him…and I take my hat off to Curtis AKA Su Ku Kia 4eva cause he responded and took the joke so well, and wasn’t mad at you. =D
    So now you REALLY kidnapped ar?!?!

  43. g’job kenny, su ku kia sounds so much cuter than wat he asked for.. would it be ba chun “joy”? =P see? sound so bad hor?!

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