Busy working on a secret project = little time to blog = random photo diarrhoea.
I flew into Melaka last weekend to attend the wedding of a friend of mine.
Pierre is the brand manager at Mamee Double-Decker Group and he’s responsible for a lot of campaigns I did for his company over the past couple of years.
I am always gonna be thankful towards him because this guy gave me so many once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that I would never have imagined otherwise. Among some of the most memorable collaborations we did was my acting in a TV Commercial for Mister Potato, my meeting with Jay Chou and most recently our M.P.F.C. trip to Old Trafford Stadium to watch the historic match between Manchester United and Liverpool.
Which is why when he asked me to be one of his “brothers” for his big day, I felt so privileged that I agreed without thinking twice.
Little did I expect the horror that was awaiting us in the form of... BRIDESMAIDS FROM HELL.
In Chinese wedding tradition, it is common for the bridesmaids act as guards for the bride. In order for the groom to prove that his love for the bride is real, these girls, in the name of sick sadistic fun, are tasked with torturing the groom and his “brothers” before they would allow him to see his bride.
As loyal “brothers” for Pierre, of course we are happy to take the bullet for him lah.
Until this happened.
No, this is not what you think it is.
This is the most painful torture ever created since the Qin Dynasty.
See our legs? See their hands on our legs?
That, my friend, is a WAX STRIP.
And this is my leg after the wax strip treatment.
FREAKING PAIN OK.
Somebody call the World Wildlife Fund. There’s a massive deforestation on my leg!
I was so emotionally traumatised that I chickened out of the next torture. LUCKY I DID!
I ask you hor. Where got bridesmaid so creative until they can come up the evil idea of tying a balloon right behind our ass, then asking the brother at the back to pop the balloon of the brother in the front...
... using their crotch!
Look at how much that chick on the left was enjoying herself with all the entertainment that we provide! What the hell! VERY FUNNY MEH!?
Ok lah, actually quite funny. Especially when you are not the one being tortured.
This is Timothy Tiah, my blog advertising agent and one of Malaysia’s leading young entrepreneur.
This is Timothy Tiah, sharing a “Brokeback Mountain” moment with another one of Pierre’s “brothers”.
I can never have a brotherly relationship with any one of the guys if I had to go through with the balloon-humping or paper-kissing torture.
So I had a piece of WASABI SANDWICH that literally made my throat go through a nuclear meltdown!
But nevermind. It’s okay! In the name of brotherhood, we, the “brothers” of Pierre Pang shall gladly stand up for our groom!
It is, after all, his big day. And we saw how happy he was to see his bride, suddenly we felt what we went through was all worth it.
After all, he’s the one giving up his bachelor life forever. Heh heh heh.
We have some free time after the morning session, so Timothy, Audrey and I treated ourselves to some Mille Crepe Cake at Nadeje in Melaka Raya.
Mesmerized couple is mesmerized by the 100 Plus.
Pierre and Lay See’s Parisian-themed wedding was very lavish and well-appointed. No expense was spared and nothing but the absolute best food was served.
It’s the Brand Manager’s wedding, so naturally lots of Mister Potato was served during the cocktail reception.
It’s all about branding!
The groom is also a proud Hainanese, so during the wedding dinner, we were served Hainanese chicken rice as part of the menu.
I thought it was a real nice touch, and a good deviation from the usual food they serve during a typical wedding banquet.
Next time I marry, I’m gonna serve Kuching kolo mee, Sarawak laksa and 3-layer Teh-C-special.
Mesmerized couple is mesmerized by Eiffel Tower wedding cake.
The loving couple, the newly weds.
My hormones kicked in again urging me to start dating. Shut up hormones! No time lah, how to date?
The bride and her loving bunch of friends.
The groom and HIS loving bunch of friends.
Doing the classic Chinese wedding tradition, singing “Ai Pia Jia Eh Yia” (Literally, “Be determined and you shall win”) on karaoke.
CHECK OUT THAT OLD MAN IN STRIPED SHIRT!
Sa hun ti chu tia! Chit hun ko pa pia!
AI PIA JIA EH YIAAAA!
Next morning, with residual alcohol from the previous night running through my veins, I decided to have a morning jog around Melaka.
It was such an enjoyable run! The course I took was mostly flat and there were many cool paths along the rivers and waterways that made Melaka such a pleasant place to run in. If somebody can just organize a marathon in Melaka, I’d be the first person to sign up.
Spotted the Tenaga Nasional shop in Melaka. Don’t you find their slogan a bit arrogant?
Suddenly I have this mental image of TNB workers coming in the morning and dancing to “I’ve Got The Power!” *cues electronic music”
Anyway, after my morning exercise, Tim, Audrey and I negated my efforts running 14km earlier by having chicken rice balls for lunch.
Nobody ever instructed me the proper way of eating chicken rice balls, so this is what I did.
I shall call this, Melaka Sushi!