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Monday, 11 February 2008

Short Talk:

As punishment for not remembering to send her wishes on her birthday, this voucher hereby entitles nadnut to inflict twenty four (24) "nipple twists" on my good self, one for each year of her birthday.

This voucher is valid for one year only. No copies allowed. "Nipple twists" cannot all be redeemed on the same day.

(As you can see, I am very much forced into doing this.)

NZ Road Names

New Zealand is such an awesome holiday destination, but it does have some really odd place names.

My sister's place is at Rototuna. Today I'm staying at a place called Whangarei, and tomorrow I'll be diving at a place called Tutukaka.

Imagine that! A place called "Tutukaka"! Lucky it's called "Tutukaka" and not "Kukutata", because that was my other nickname.

Don't you know? My nickname was "Kukutata" because my "kuku" is very "tata".

A lot of these names are Maori instead of English, and that is why they sounded so weird.

For a Malaysian travelling in New Zealand, these Maori names can be quite confusing and difficult to remember. Most of the time I had to translate them into something else that sounded similar in Mandarin or Hokkien, just so it's easier for me to remember.

For example, this is how I remember some of the road names.

"Fish is softer" road.

Wrong street.

Shit street.

"No exit" means it's having constipation.

"Ant."

Hotel "Bad Brother."

"Caucasian brother" street.

"Good father" street.

"Go f*ck yourself" street.

161 Comments

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heya kenny! was checking your blog a few minutes ago and came back(:
i'm 15, love your posts.
see you around if you come to sg (:

and am i first? :O

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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omg im second lol....anyway love ur blog. hope to see you update more often =)

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third!

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Well at least they have better streets than us. Ours are named after peoples name. Like Jalan Raja Chulan that sounds like Jalan raja Tulan.
Anyways enjoy ur stay there.

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
These pictures are just priceless man...

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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OmG that;s farneyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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Nice mnemonic! =P

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haha try to travel to LOTR places :D esp the hobbit hole hotel place

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Weird~

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seriously.. i give u credit for ur creativity..

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love ya Kenny! =D

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there's another person called Kay!? o.o"

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'Tahi St' is hilarious! Lucky we have the other languages and dialects to help you remember street names!

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AHahah, the last pic is the best~!! ahahah, good 1.

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at least they are easy to pronounce, unlike those in netherlands etc.

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LOL! KUKU TATA!

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.....no commento~but it sure was funny!!^.^

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No Kenny, we dont hv better things to do during CNY, we still read ur blog ;) hehe, more updates! more updates! ;)

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rofl I love the tahi st.

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go f*ck urself -_-

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The name of the roads are such that one doesnt even have to try being funny. Bravo NZ'landers!

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Omg... i love the last one, haha!!

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haha make sure when u get ur nipples twisted must tell us =D

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ohhhh... so THAT's how you guys manage to survive in places with weird names...!

must make a mental note of that..!

and NZ really is a wonderful place :)~ I love it!

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Pukaki...lol

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Hahahah!!! This is post got me laughing in stitches!! Classic, and I love it. =D

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haha..u did it again..laugh so hard now*

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LOL~nice one once again!
Never fails to make me laugh until my stomach ache.:p

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kenny, go do the tongariro crossing if u've got time. 8 hours tramping, worth every min. ur legs will ache like hell after tho ;)

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oo, one more. whakapapa - tht's the mountain nxt to ruapehu. pronounced as 'fa ka pa pa'. heh.

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It must be weird laughing alone loudly at road signs there mate.

Anyhow gung hei fuck choy!

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Wah lau eh, didn't know NZ has such bizarre road names being used!!! I like the TAHI street!! Hahaha~~!!!

Hope u're having a good trip and an awesome CNY celebration in NZ, Kenny!!!

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u make me laugh till i need go to jamban liaw..

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LOL funny la you!

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Hey I've been to Tutukaka and had a few dives at Poor Knights.
Watch out for the rays!!
HUGE!

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oh my oh my, that is so funny! XD
Happy Chinese New Year, Kenny.

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Haha this entry is exceptionally funny especially to those who understand Hokkien like me. Really like the "kawhia" street haha.

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Hhahha Kenny. U are so funny. My mom even laughing at it now. Have a great trip at New Z

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kukutata means kuku tata , KUKU BYEBYE.circumcised

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Wahahaha how come live in NZ so long, i never tot of such names into funny Hokkien translation..... make me burst laugh! esp the last one. . Hey KennySia you really dirty people's mind la u
One thing you know, Maori are originally from Asia and their language is related to Malay for example `mata` to them means `eye` as well..

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THAT WAS REAL FUNNY. Thanks for sharing Kenny, you're the best blog comedian!

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Those names are weird indeed!

I like 'sala street' the most!

:D

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OMG SI BEH FUNNY!!!!!

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f*ckin' funny la! whahahah.

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OMFGROFLWTHBBQ!!! You've reminded me once again why you're the best around!!!

I though Kukutata means you say tata to your kuku though, better take good care of it :D

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u rascal..make me laugh so hard i almost got choked by my own saliva...

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I laugh so hard that I can't barely breath!!! Good one Kenny! Hope you can enjoy the trip!

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WAHAHAHAHAHHHA!!! BRILLIANT KENNY SIA!

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Oh good, you've finally killed me laughing

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i just came back from auckland and rotorua! thanks kenny for the tips and travel entries - learnt a lot from u (ok except this entry =p)

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ahhahahaahhhahhaha..KENNY! That was way too hillarious! That's why I like to read your blog..=) Not like my blog, so lame..

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Lol Pukaki.
This is surely good entry to start my day.

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Hey Kenny :)

Got your email the other day...

Good to see you made it here! :D

I don't mind being your coastal tour guide... Hamilton is a bit of a hole, but I think you will like it where I live...

Also, if you want to know any other places which are really nice to go to,,, let me know.

:)

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LOL... been reading your blog and it's the 1st time leave a comment.
Mind you "Tahi" is our "Satu" in Maori. :) I burst out laughing the first time they taught me back in school.

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this is damn kao good. champion la. pukaki. HAHAHAHAAH :P that's gonna be my "warcry" from now on. PUKAKI!! :P

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I'm planning to travel to Aus soon...

krazl
www.krazl.com

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How about "Tuaranga" .in hokkien ! Tutukaka also "Chow" language in Hokkien.Shame to be a Hokkien.

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hi! yeah, i couldn't agree more that the names are so difficult to remember, and i often get confuse with all those near-similar names! ;p

anyway, i'm studying in christchurch. drop me a line if u'r planning to visit the garden city of nz. i'll be ur tour guide. :)

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Peng!!! hahahahaha!!!

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ROAR. That is not how you should hold a hamster. *BISH*

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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Very very funny!!

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why we should laugh bout the names,i think we shouldnt..the names all are history..who knows maybe u might use one of those names as your children's name..duh..

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This is interesting.

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24 NIPPLE twists!!!! woooooo hooo!

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The last road was the FUNNIEST... "Go f*ck yourself" street."

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pls check got any PUNIAMA ST or not TQ

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LOL! So cool that so many streets in NZ has a meaning somehow or another! =D The last one is hilarious! =D

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tahi is one in maori language hahahaha so : D

ah btw
if u wanna see all those places with weird names
just type them in here

http://maps.yellowpages.co.nz/clients/places.cgi?client=yellnzyp

XD

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Tahi street! lol!

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drive down from Palmerston North to Wellington, and u'll come to a place called Te Puki..

hehehehe... I laughed everytime i passed through to go to Wellington during my uni days..

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kenny, kenny, kenny.....i don't know lah. you've got a really twisted but damn kow funny wayof seeing things. this called 'talented' or not. i guess so lah because not many people are gifted to see road signs and street signs and can come up with these things! really lah....you really had me rolling on the floor!

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so funny the streets name. hahaha

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Hi Kenny,

My BM tuition teacher used to say, if ALL Hokkien obsenities words were to be complied, it would definitely form a DICTIONARY. Want to volunteer yourself in this project? :p

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that was hilarious. hahaha

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Oh ya..... i think if you cant find a blondie in that quiet city, you really gota 'PUKAKI'liao
Waaaaaahaaaaaaaaaa!

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And Kenny flys with QANTAS!

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what does "tata" mean? is it "small" in Hokkien / Mandarin? the only thing I can think of your nickname "Kukutata" means "tata to the kuku", or "goodbye d*ck", meaning your d*ck has long gone! haha no offence...but pls tell me i'm right!

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Hi Kenny,
I used to stay in Whangarei, its a pleasant surprise to see it mentioned in your post today. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time in NZ. Not a day passes by that I don't wish to be there again.

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ROFL!!!

i was eating and holding my food in my mouth when reading this.

Lesson learnt: Do no read Kennysia.com when eating!.

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PU KA KI LAHHH

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kenny,

I have been reading for years. Well done.

Kukutata? Yours bigger than Edison's?

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HAHAHHAHAHAA OMG... WRONG STREET. HAHAHAHAHHAA

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hahahhaha i love this entry... lol rofls so hard...

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kenny, post some edison pic here haha.

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I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOKKIEN!!!! What do they mean???

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Kukutata.

My God, you really cracks me up!!!!

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haha u'll get used to maori names as u travel more arnd nz.... kenny, check out this little town called dunedin in south island while u r in nz.. worth travelling!! we've got a maori named uni too, called OTAGO. how wud u remember this name? lol

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the way u intepret the street names are uniquely funny. By the way, Otago is the oldest Uni in NZ. more than 100 years of history. great uni.

~Malaysian in NZ n proud Otago student

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hello...Happy Valentine! :) yes i know this has nothing to do with your post...

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I never been to dunedin would love to travel there some time, since i only live like 6hours drive from there. i study in Canterbury Uni, in CHRISTCHURCH.

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funny one~ guess i'm the 100th

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kenny, you forget to mention that "wha" actually read "fa"......so whangarei =fangarei = fack-a-ray

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omg...
You sure are wu liao enough o..haha!
Good point you can make everything out of your normal day funny enough.
Happy Chinese New Year!
(I wonder how's CNY in new zealand..)

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Kenny ur so funny!!! i love you!!

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HAY GUYS!! check out my sister's blog... she's really really funny! im serious... drop by when yr free! ammyslaw.blogspot.com . keep a open mind when visiting her blog! check out her archives...u wont regret it!!

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p.s she's really nt trying 2 fet famous.. i just think that ppl should know bout her... she's been a blogger since oct 2007.. just so you know.. ammyslaw.blogspot.com . check out her archives if yr nt interested in her current obsession...

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I am also in NZ but Christchurch...
Hamilton is quite a nice city, small but lots of trees n flowers eh..

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"kenny, you forget to mention that "wha" actually read "fa"......so whangarei =fangarei = fack-a-ray"

I would like to think whangarei is actually pronounced faNg-a-ray and NOT fack-a-ray, but hey, whatever makes you happy. :)

Kenny - pukaki is a masterstroke! Woops, stroke...

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Awesome and creatvie translation :->

Don't really get your nickname, what is kukutata?

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This is really funny, thanks for sharing :P

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Priceless!

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LMAO! very creative indeed! XD

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lol.. there's 39 "kawhia" in defense position to your left. guess you have to take the right path

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LOL

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Kenny,

Remember this day ya, 8 March 2008, the polling date. Please make sure you are back in Malaysia before this date to exercise your constitutional rights to vote. Enjoy yourself in NZ!

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LoL! Super funny. Sounds like you're having a great time in NZ.

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I never been to NZ before..hmm..i wonder y their roads names n etc all so funny wan..lol

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really funny to knw that...
hahahaaa

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I agree about the "kukutata"... haven't you heard about sumthing called the pedicure?

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rrrrr

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THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU : DDD

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go NZ only take road sign???

lu ki ho lang kan la..... LOL :D

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if you think that's bad, check THIS out!:

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu.

yes it actually exists in NZ. wiki it or something. even better, go find it kenny!

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Hey Kenny! It was really great meeting with you for breakfast and coffee.

Hope you enjoyed your self in NZ.

Have a safe flight

D

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Ok i gotta admit this is super funny...

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Amusing street names. I wonder how NZers came up with them.

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Referring to Qi's post, check out the pronunciation for "Whakapapa". Verify with the Kiwis there if you don't believe me.

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http://blog.xuite.net/chinszuhan/boyun/15700683

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Hey kenny,

I see u've been to my hometown - Rotorua =.=''
yeah the names are funny even tho i don't get ur hokkien translations..
Wish i could take u around next time~~~
take care ya

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hello Kenny! Nice post you have about NZ! hahaha!!
Did you know that pronunciation in Maori language is also very different?

Eg:
1. Whangarei is pronounced as FANGAREI not Wangarei
2. Whakapapa = FAKAPAPA not WAKAPAPA
3. Whakahuatanga = Fakahuatanga not Wakahuatanga!

LOL!! Keep it up!! You've a great blog!

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So... as to your last pic... PUKAKI is WHUCK Yourself! LOL!!!

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Malaysia street name also wont lose to NZ's street name
like Jalan Raja Chulan= "King of pig co*k road??"

Hope u have a nice trip in NZ
and have a safe flight~~

Kiddo

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nice blog :)
I'm in NZ too.. but I'm in Christchurch...
seem like u've only travelled in the North Island... should visit South Island another time... very beautiful place here... & lots of funny Maori road names here too...

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Hi, Kenny... Its fun reading your blog... seems my friends come leave the comment here...I also dont want to rugi leave comment here... Kiddo and JY.... Happy to see your both here leave comment. Very funny name of the road names...Take care and enjoy blogging.

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Haha. I just came back from holiday and read this post. I just love the way you remember names. haha.

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there's a bus station called "Lustgarten" in Berlin, Germany.

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"Referring to Qi's post, check out the pronunciation for "Whakapapa". Verify with the Kiwis there if you don't believe me."

Doing a google on "whangarei" will give you this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whangarei

I am sure WH is pronounced F, I just disagree with you replacing NG with K. =)

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Hi Kenny...have been reading your blog for a while but this is my 1st comment.saw ur nickname n had the following thoughts:-
kukutata - kuku big big (in chinese)
but since u r true blue sarawakian! muz use hokkien. so it must be:-
kukutata - kuku very dried up!!!

my condolences to u.....

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2. Whakapapa = FAKAPAPA not WAKAPAPA

fucker papa?

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pukaki sounds more like bukake

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CLASSIC, Kenny. i think i peed in my pants from laughing too hard. :)

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lol... the jalan shit thing, damn u got me laughing man.

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OMG Kenny! My guts are busting here! I've lived here 9 years... and I've never actually associated them to Hokkien/Mandarin. Now that I've read what you wrote.. I don't think I will ever see these names in the same light ever again.

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lol... good to know you found interesting stuff in NZ :D was great to see u for like 5 mins :P

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Kenny.

I am Malaysian living in NZ for the past 10 years. The name of this island in New Zealand always makes me smile.

http://www.doc.govt.nz/templates/PlaceProfile.aspx?id=35018

Cheers

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Haha...i love the hukanui and the no exit one!

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You think the road names are funny... wait till you hear the moari songs.

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well......all the names R from NZ's native ppl's language, so.............LOL

but i like the hakka war dance. VI skool oso do tht dance

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Oh My God, I laughed sooooooooooo hard I think my ass fell off.

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ROFL...I would have been laughing my heads off while walking down those streets, those Kiwis would have thought that I was a siau cha bo

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I was laughing staring at the computer like an idiot in my office which i'm not suppose to be doing anything that looks funny...

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Beh Tahan you....

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hahahhahhah damn man i nearly busted my guts laughing!

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Perhaps it was kind of late for me to comment but then I could not resist myself to flip back the old entries in your blog and have a good laugh..'

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fuck you bro!!!!!
how dare u fucking diss our moari culture
and the sreet names with that type of fucking bullshit bro.

shows hows little respect u had for new zealand
for the time that u spent here.

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i'm a malaysian living in nz.. for around 6 years.. hahaha.. your interpretation are funny as hell.. good work.. didn't even notice it myself..

cheers

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LOL !!!
Had to convert my chuckles into coughs.
Witty bitty fitting Ah Mong Wah translations ...
^_^

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I think most non-Kiwis go funny when they hear something like Whakapapa which is pronounced Fakapapa in Maori...hehe

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this is how t live

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thatz alsome

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one day when i stop at the "Paraparaumu" (small town between wellington city and Palmerston north city) airfield i saw a great glider plane then i jump in and enjoy my great flight until i crashed at Rotorua "whakarewarewa" village ,,hahahaha this is New zealand, i was there for 6 years.

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Hey u don't u swear about the name pukaki!!! it is a chiefs name and also mine so be careful

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