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Wednesday, 22 February 2006

Short Talk:

I timed myself today - I can walk one kilometre in 6 minutes comfortably. Now, all I gotta do is repeat that 42 times in 2 weeks.

Product Naming for Dummies

Marketing people sucks.

Every now and then these people sit in their comfy offices scratching their balls thinking of new ways to infiltrate their latest "marketing buzzwords" into our vernacular.

That's not the sad part. The sad part is when these products become popular, every other marketing managers and their dogs begin coming up with similar product names hoping to cash in on their popularity. Problem is, a lot of these product names making little or no sense at all.

I can almost visualise their marketing departments' thought process in Dilbert-style comics.

Here's top 3 marketing monikers I find most annoying.

The -360° Suffix

Made famous by: Microsoft
Originally used to mean: A new revolution
Shameless abused by: Yahoo
Examples: Microsoft's Xbox 360°; Yahoo's Yahoo 360°.
Name you'll never hear: MRT 360° - Going Right Back To Where You Started.


The Cyber- Prefix

Made famous by: Cybernetics
Originally used to mean: Through the use of a computer.
Shameless abused by: Cyberjaya - a white elephant trying too hard to be that futuristic world class "intelligent city" it initially set out to be.
Examples: Cyberspace, Cybercafe, Cybersex, Cybercrime, Cyberlaw.
Phrase you'll never hear: "Kanina Chow Cyber!" - Cuss words coming out from the mouths of Multimedia University students when they failed a major assignment.


The i- Prefix

Made famous by: Apple
Originally used to denote: Connectivity to the Internet, replacing the ubiquitous "e-" prefix during the dotcom boom in the mid 90s.
Shameless abused by: Osim
Examples: Apple's iPod, iMac, iBook; Osim's iSymphonic, iDesire, iGallop.
Product you'll never see: Osim iSuck - The New Vacuum Cleaner From Osim.


That's just the beginning. I have a feeling that the world isn't about to move away from the whole "lower-case single character prefix" craze anytime soon.

And it's getting real iRRitating.

81 Comments

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why not you start with
iKenny??

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How about 360Lancau and iChee Bye?

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How true is that. =_=

...

Why don't you promote yourself with Limited Edition iCoconut CyberBalls 360?

Heh.

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hey guess what, i'm a marketing + advertisement freak myself and found this really interesting:

Electrolux, Sucks! [for their vacumm cleaner]

seriously!

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Haha, that's a good one :D

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hahaha so true... u always make me laugh kenny =) lol iSuck ...

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Scott Adams, the author of Dilbert, has a blog too.

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/

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wat about the iRiver mp3 player...iGallop looks like a useless piece of junk,the tv ad's really ridiculous

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Ew...the isuck pic looks horrible.... =S

But you are really observant I must say to even notice the connection between all these product names~!

Cheers~! =)

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hey kenny!

u're damn funny lah. i really love the iSuck vacuum cleaner.lol.

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ohhh dun forget McDonalds....

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lolz im multimedia uni student n we do scold cyber like tat sometimes...*_*

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iSuck is ingenious! Bravo!

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good choice kenny....u bought the IBM eSeries server !!

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i wonder if drug dealers will change thier "product" name into iCoke, iWeed, iCracka. And ho's into cyber-prost.

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HEY,iFCUKING LAUGH iASS OFF KENNY! iKENNY VERY FUNNY MAN....iHA iHA iHA.....
CHEERS
DAVID

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LoL.. brilliant, how you could think of such great idea.

kanina chao cy-ber

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Isuck looks good. How much? :P

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heh, about the i- prefix, actually it started on the iPaq (2000 - compare with iPod in 2001) and was pretty successful there. but no doubt Apple was much better with their marketing and today anything with an i- in front is thought to have copied from Apple =)

iLike your blog360

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im an mmu student..
*frowns at kenny*

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hey Kenny..you've just pin point a fact what's going on in the world now...they COPY! that's the only thought pple have in their minds now..can't blame them~

Seriously, i really luv your iSucks ad but too bad we're never gonna see it in public. How sad~

Erm..you might want to consider starting another blog with ikennysia dot com..

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hahaha. great one kenny.

didn't the whole 'i' thing start with the 'e' thing with the internet? like ur 'eServer' and 'eMail' and 'eCommerce'?

maybe were going by vowels.. next one should be 'o'. oPod. oRiver. hmm.. maybe skip 'o' and just go straight to 'u' so that the next generation 'iSuck' is 'uSuck'

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Ijane Utarzan 2gether Vpower...
I guess the 'i' is a metaphor for something personal and individualistic, making it more applicable for the customers. the 'i' in i-suck could possibly an acronym for something. (i)ncredible?(i)ngenious?(i)nappropriate?

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yeah that i-shit pisses me off!

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Omygosh.
Thats hilarious yet its TRUE..
I am loving u...

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Well done!

I glad we did't name our site Facetags 360... *sigh*

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hahahaha. :D

you got me laughing so hard on the iSuck ad. chun-ted ad!!

i like this post. :)

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Serves the fact that the marketing think-tanks of this world have all run out of their creative juices.

They quit being creative and just wait for something unique to pop up and jump on that bandwagon.

I vote for Kenny to be da King of marketing think-tanks. The rest shall follow. =)

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Ya, and the 'i' prefix thing is trademark-ed. My fren wanna open a graphic designing shop called 'iStudio'and she's not allowed... need to find another name when she registers for her company.

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You're right pal. Those who can't lead follow in the rear ;p

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muahahaha...the last picture of ISuck...blardy hilarious, man!

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You might like to use the distort tool in ps to make the 'MRT 360' more realistic. Nice post. Cant help laughing.

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i recently saw an ad for car-window film called 'iKool'...not to be confused with 'iUnoriginalbecausewe'retoolazythinkofabettername'

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U make famous by 1U... Uparkson.. :D

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Over here we have, on CNN, "Anderson Cooper 360." Yeeesh.

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...so, looking at your time, you should be doing the marathon thing in 4.2 hrs?

Good Luck!

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Eh Kenny... the chimp/human crossbreed at the end is really freaky ler!

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kenny,

u know what is iSex?

scroll down,,,,,,

IT'S GOOD OLD ,,MASTURBATION!!!!!!
kenny i know u do the iSex thingy lah,,,

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the man/girl in the ISuck at is SO ugly! Furong Jie Jie can make it a hot ad, i bet.

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You heard of Gbuy from Google? hahahaha....

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HILARIOUS!!!
Obviously, u have a flair for contributing your stories for "thoughts and musings".
so, continue to 'dish out' such true-yet-so-funny stories!
PS. Do u have any plans 2 publish a book?

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I suck
You suck
We suck
They suck

He sucks
She sucks
It sucks

Marketing people = they

Therefore, "Marketing people sucks" = wrong
Correction, "Marketing people suck" = right

This message was brought to you by the Grammar Police.

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Great post Kenny. It's a saddening fact, but it's just hilarious!

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MRT360° was the orginal name for the Circle Line

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As a marketing staff I find this entry extremely offensive and distasteful. Remove this entry, goddamnit!

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iLie -> new internet lie cheking website
iCheat -> cheating system
iSteal -> new alarm system
iLie, iCheat, iSteal!!

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And now we have iReport in Singapore: http://160.96.185.83/ESvcController?system=spanp&module=internet

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eKennysia360.com?

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the ugly blogger reveals.

NYP tammy and the ugly blogger

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*sweats* I'll never say that even when i failed my major assignments. And yea, I'm from MMU btw but in Mlk ^^;

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i wonder now if in the near future people would actually give their children names start with some prefix like that... hehe...

oh btw,answering to ur question whether is it nice or not to have a carbon copy partner? well,for saggy,yeah it is nice..bcs i am one(saggy),and i have one =P and it is so far a really very adventurous and fun relationship,i might say...;)

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* my partner also saggy..our age difference is 5 years and 3 days =D

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lol......the iSuck(doens't sound rite here tho) and cuss words of MMU students.......man where lah u get all these ideas?? damn funny wei...

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lol......the iSuck(doens't sound rite here tho) and cuss words of MMU students.......man where lah u get all these ideas?? damn funny wei...

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iDUNNO

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lol the 'iSuck' thing is funny!

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oui... to be fair to the mrt line, it is called the circle line because it REALLY IS CIRCULAR, u deek!
=)

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I'll neither say that too when i failed my major assignments. And i do from MMU, Cyberjaya. So wat?

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Ipod Imac Ibook....Whats wrong with it? I think Mac's smart for using the consitency of the 'i'. It markets well and its straight to the point. In the future mac wont have to use some lame add for its product. Just one poster with an "I" on it. You have other companies trying to manipulate and duplicate it but sorreh mate. The "i" is hogged by mac.

Call it the macult. iLove my mac!

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All the best for your marathon! =)

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It is indeed going by the vowel trend. From @(a) to e to i now. O and u will follow next.

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AHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

I really really really liked the dilbert text you made, it's so dilbert :P

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..enough about suck already.
What about iBlow??

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What about i-Berhad, the name of a listed company?

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Hey dude, did u manage to get Scott Adams to do the graphics specially 4u or is it cut n paste?

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Hey kenny, u forgot ur favourite osim's marion caunter product...Uzap!!

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You are, without a doubt, one of the funniest people I've read at a blog. Never quit bitching. You're great!

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if phone sex is like wat you say... better dont try!!!!

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Everybody who read this post suck for saying iSuck.....

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That is sooooo funny! You ARE good..

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erm. i had an iNad before.

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lol, that entry is freaking funny and good for destressing after a long day. Thanks man!

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You forget Nike Air Max 360! :P

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There is vacuum cleaner press ad out there, it's got the caption "It sucks." >.

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hey man i agree with ya on the osin sucks thingy. that vaccum cleaner really sucks. i own one and its never proven its worth. much like the osin staff. bunch of lazy, sweet talking, worthless, protcting their ass ppl. go trash osim, i'm behind you all the way

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Eeeeeee that really is a horrible photo at the end! I can bare to look at it for more than a second.

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classic kenny again... lol the vaccum cleaner rocks!

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How about iKan? Good name for a high-powered vibrator.

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Dear Kenny,

Hi.. I know this might sound odd to you ( well for one thing, you don't know me.. ) but I need a favor from you.

You see, I saw your UZAP poster like 2 years ago and yeah, I thought that it was really interesting, funny and creative. Emm.. something else actually caught my attention as well. The original UZAP poster ( not the one with Marion on it ).. I have been looking for the one with some few girls on it telling all the positive remarks on that product..
Beleive it or not, I even went to several Osim outlets just to have a look again at that particular poster but, they no longer keep the poster.

Is there a way that I can get hold of it?
Do you have it with you or something?


Odd?
Yeah, I know..

Thanks anyway...

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hey I heard that they now have igrip or ugrip. Seriously. Osim. I'm not kidding!

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I absolutely cherish my wonderful Electralux vacuum cleaner and shampooer. It really blows everytime your kittens leave little nasties all through the house for you ;-)

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