"I mean, who doesn't like looking at pretty girls? Even straight girls like looking at pretty girls." So said Joel Tan, aka Rambo Tan, aka The Artist Formerly Known As Big Fuck, aka "KANINA KENNYSIA I DONCH WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE UNNERWEAR BOY LAH!"
Wahai kawan-kawan, Selamat Hari Merdeka. Maicaohai busuh-busuh, selamat pergi mati lah.
Welcome to the very special Merdeka edition of kennysia.com.
A few months ago, Joel Tan wrote a groundbreaking blog entry featuring four of the hottest female blogging babes in Singapore. He creatively dubbed them, the Xiaxue Killers - a term he used to describe female bloggers who not only look good, but blog with such a style it'll make you go Whoa.
All those girls needed then was a stroke of luck and Joel's entry gave them just what they needed to springboard towards blogging superstardom. As of writing, I know one of them was already featured multiple times on Singaporean mainstream media and one other got an endorsement deal out of her blog. Joel, on the other hand, got nothing.
We've got 'Xiaxue Killers' here in Malaysia too alright. Yes, we've got blogger hotties here in this lovely country, and they've been writing such good content I wonder why not many people read them. Except we couldn't possibly call these girls 'Xiaxue Killers'. The biggest blogger in Malaysia is not Xiaxue, but Jeff Ooi. And calling these girls 'Jeff Ooi Killers' is just... wrong. 'Jeff Ooi Killers' sound like people the Malaysian government would employ to plot an assassination attempt on Jeff Ooi for constantly exposing their dirty tactics.
Hey, I don't need to call them fancy schmancy names to tell you that these girls are good - you know you can trust me on this. Remember, when Kenny Sia says good, its not just good, its DAMN GOOD. I selected these girls because I think they're attractive, they have lots of pictures of their pretty selves on their blogs, they're Malaysian, and most importantly, they write such interesting and engaging material I won't get bored reading them day after day.
I call these girls... the Babes Of Malaysian Blogs, aka the BOMB. They might now be very well-known right now, but who knows? kennysia.com might just be the platform they need to get that job offer, that book deal, or even that modelling contract.
With that in mind, sit back, relax, and enjoy a Malaysian-brewed, Merdeka-boosted, FHM-flavoured dose of kennysia.com
Canto BOMBWennie, of xanga.com/weniee and daichafan.blogspot.com
Wennie is a 22-year-old graphic designer from Petaling Jaya whose eyes emit so much electricity it could power a small town. Wennie is perhaps better known as Ah Giu from the wildly popular Cantonese Blog "Jut Doi Siong Diu". I hate to admit this but her blog entries are so good, I find myself painfully reading through her entries eventhough I don't understand the language to save my life.
I guess if you know a little bit of Cantonese, half the fun is guessing what word is what. Its a good thing she's still keeping her (English) Xanga site alive though, since that is where she stores all her pretty photos.
Gain points for: 1. Offering to teach me Cantonese just to read her damn blog. 2. Her damn nice highlighted hair.
Lose points for: Mistaking Kuching for Kota Kinabalu. Dammit. What is it with West Malaysians and their inability to differentiate between Sabah and Sarawak?
"now, after 2 months, I re-highlight my hair again. n I require them to make it even more 'obvious'. n they did. de result turns out to b ... OHMYGOD!!!!!
I showed it to my mom.
'ma~ see my new hair color!!! nice anot?'
'ah ting!!! hand me de broom!!! thr's one ang moh comes into our hs adi!!! call de police!!!'"
Fashion BOMBYue Chin, of blackjetta.blogspot.com
Yue Chin, or YC, is a 21-year-old
architecture graduate former architecture student, struggling artist, and jewellery maker with an unnatural obsession with Bert from Sesame Street. She is the main author of Black Jettas: Diary of the Drama Queens, which has been in operation since March this year. Originally from KL, but now a resident in Melbourne, YC writes a typical girly blog on life, fashion, arts, and her somewhat complicated long-distance relationship.
Black Jettas will appeal mainly to female readers who can relate to YC's experience, or at least, share her fantastic taste in fashion. Also check out her range of amazing handmade jewellery at Black Jettas Design. They may cost an arm, a leg and first-born for the average income earner, but the fact that she's sold a couple of them must mean they're worth every single cent they're paid for.
Gain points for: Looking like a mistress. A bloody hot one too.
Lose points for: Being attached.
"I think I want to move into the park. Am loving it! Nothing beats a lazy sunny sunday in the park with a good book and a lovable psycho dog.
This is what I'll miss most when I return to KL.
Imagine lying in the park with Luna unleashed in Malaysia.
I'll be barbequed aliveby the weather, possibly robbed, raped and killed.
Luna will be shot by MPPJ/ DBKL.
Funny BOMBAudrey, of audree.blogdrive.com
It takes a lot of guts for a man with balls the size of coconuts to admit this, but I'm a fan of Audrey Ooi's blog. A huge fan, in fact.
Of the four blogs I recommended here today, Audrey's blog is the only one I've consistently read ever since I discovered it about a year ago. The odd thing is I don't even know why I'm so addicted to such a cutesy pinkish little blog by a tiny little 20-year-old girl from Subang Jaya studying at Mt Holyoke, Massachussets. Maybe its her freakin' great sense of humour, maybe its her occasional bitchiness, maybe its just how cute she looks in a Japanese kimono.
Audrey's blog is titled *fourfeetnine*, which in case you're wondering, is her height and the source of many hilarious incidents. Its not just her funny entries, it helps the fact that she has camwhoring tendencies which make her entries always refreshing and always an interesting read.
Gain points for: Calling her father "Fat Her Ooi".
Lose points for: Violating the Blogskin Sins. Blasphemy!
"Angela ran out, then ran in and pulled me and Yen out into the hallway.
And we heard:
"OH... OHH... OOH....." (at 10000 decibels)
People having sex.
All of us just stood there as still as lizards outside the door of whoever was having the time of her life (and wanted everyone to know it) and listened to the groans/moans/screams/whines.
All hands were clapped over mouths to prevent giggles/cries of disgust.
Then Lucia comes running down the hall behind us, yelling "Why is she here! Who brought her in!? She shouldn't be here! Someone take her away now!"
Angela said, "What? Who are you talking about?"
Lucia continues in an agitated manner, "The kid! She'll be traumatised by it! I'm taking her away now!"
She grabs me by the shoulders.
I turn around and stare at her, perplexed.
She stares at me for a second and says, "Oh! Audrey it's you! I thought you were a six-year old kid or something!"
She fcuking thought I was a six year old girl!
Let me die, let me just die."
Sexy BOMBElaine, of laineylashes.com
Do NOT visit Laineylashes.com if you do not have a broadband connection or your modem is gonna crash and burn. The pictures on her blog take ages to load, but its worth the wait I tell ya.
I know about 3 Elaines who are active bloggers right now and all 3 of them are hot as fuck. I don't know if its coincidence or a god-given formula that if your name is Elaine and you blog, then you must be hot. If there are any Elaines out there who wish to help me in my uhh... *cough* research, pop me an e-mail or something. ;)
Lainey is a relatively new blogger who burst into the scene quietly just May this year. Laineylashes.com is mostly about her party life, but the focus of it all are undoubtedly her photos 'cos a lot of photos she took turn out to be quite stunning. If its not photos of herself looking pretty then its photos of herself with OTHER hot mamacitas looking pretty.
Check out her photo series from the Revelation @ Port Dickson rave (got bikini babes) and from the Miss Hypertune 2005 Finals (got chio bus) and you'll know what I mean. If there's STILL not enough, then there's helluva lot more pics on her Multiply.
Gain points for: Being sexy, and not afraid to flaunt it.
Lose points for: Her entries are still rough around the edges.
Excerpt: I can write an excerpt but you won't read it anyway 'cos you'd be busy looking at her sexy photos.
Other worthy mentions:
* Annie, of liljooules.blogspot.com
This entry of hers cracked me up.
"yes we know it's gross of you to be auctioning your USED lip gloss..you don't have to make it so obvious.."
* Vanessa, of tabulas.com/~vanessa
Too bad she doesn't update as often. 'Cos when she does, she's gold.
"this is the same Mo from Daph's farewell party last year, where him and the guys got so fucked and they were so cold that they took off all their clothes to be warm. and passed out on the floor in their manties. i shit you not. they thought it made sense. HAHA!"
* Tilia, of tilia.blogdrive.com
If you're looking for something to laugh and have a huge tolerance for the word 'fuck', then I suggest you check out Tilia and leave an Orgasm (Comment) on her page. There's nothing sexier than a woman with confidence, and Tilia has all that and more. Read her entries and you'll know what I mean.
"Did you guys read this article?
How fucking desperate do you have to be for porn that you shove pornographic CDs between your ass cheeks just to get it past Singaporean customs?
How fucking huge do your ass cheeks even have to be before you can fit SEVERAL CDs and DVDs between them?
It's so obviously for his personal use and not for selling coz I mean, which smuggling ring spends money to smuggle 4 porn cds by method of shoving between ass cheeks.
And honestly. Do you really want to get back to your home in Singapore, go MUAHAHA...yank those porn cds out of your ass. And then use your hands to touch your dick. That just seems really unhygienic. And dude. You're watching something that's just been in your ass.
This guy. Needs to learn how to use the internet to download FREE PORN that doesnt get you thrown in jail for a year for smuggling porn in to the country. Moron."
That's it then, and I hope you guys enjoy this very special edition of kennysia.com. Its BOMBs like these that made me feel so damn proud living in this wonderful country. Happy National Day to my fellow Malaysians. Malaysia Boleh!