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In case you happen to be living under a rock, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles finally married last Friday, thus effectively ending Prince Charles' run as the world's most eligible bachelor.
Cleo Magazine

I'm not gonna diss Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles' matrimony. What needs to be said have already been said by others. At the end of the day, I have absolutely nothing against a royal 57-year-old donkey-face marrying a 58-year-old husband-snatcher on the day of Pope John Paul II's funeral. Its not like what they do has any effect of me anyway.

What I am gonna diss however is the newspaper reports that cover this wedding, sensationalising it to the point of absurdity. Everyone knows that I'm not a big fan of local Malaysian newspapers. The day newspapers here STOP publishing photos of politicians shaking hands at some bloody pretentious VIP event is the day I'll celebrate by shaving the hair off my legs and cook soup with it.

But this one is just beyond ridiculous. Have a look at this headline from news.com.au.
LIP READERS REVEAL ROYAL BANTER

The original story was from News of the World. In case that link doesn't work, I've mirrored the page here.

An excerpt reads: "We hired professional lip-reading experts who spent two hours decoding exactly what was said as the bride and groom walked down the stone stairs to face photographers."

PROFESSIONAL LIP-READING EXPERTS? I can so imagine a couple of nerds with thick glasses practically glueing their face to the TV monitor for two full hours trying to decode what they're saying.

The entire article focuses on how cold the Queen was towards Camilla based on the following series of captioned photos. I've editted the captions into the pictures for better readability.
Original

Gee, I wonder how much they're paying these so-called "professional lip-reading" experts to write a couple of crappy lines that MAY or MAY NOT be what the royal family said. I mean, who's watching right? For all I know they could be playing Solitaire for two hours before they come up with some smart-arse guesses as to what the royal family was possibly saying.

To steal a quote from William Hung, I have no professional training in lip-reading. But what I can do is spend 2 minutes instead of 2 hours "decoding" what they're trying to say.



Possible

See?! The Queen LOVES Camilla Parker-Bowles!

So much for professional lip-readers. How the heck can they simply decide what people are saying just by looking at a video? How do they even know they're speaking English? For all I know, they could be conversing in Hokkien.



Hokkien Version

Did you look at the way Prince Charles and his mother looked at each other? I swear that's not the way a mother and son would look at each other! I don't know about you but I think there might be something more to their so-called mother-and-son relationship.



Rude version

Stupid professional lip reading experts - think they know everything, but I know better.

2 TrackBacks

One thing leads to another:... Read More

Deep Ears Revealed! from Bohemian Philosophy on June 19, 2005 1:23 PM

Are you feeling overloaded lately with endless Hollywood news and photos of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes necking and whispering at each other? Are you dying to know what are they talking about? To be bombarded with that many “breaking news”... Read More

49 Comments

Unregistered

This is wicked hilarious, Kenny! ROTFLMAO~! WAHHAHA!! Let me help you do some promotion by putting your links in my YM! LOL!

Unregistered

WTF! hahahaha! wey damn funny weyy, especially the hokkien version. As for the sex version, f***ing gross man! ewwww! hahaha but still funny weyyy! ouch ouch, stomach ache.. too funny!

Unregistered

Wah lan yeh! I buay tahan already! Even though I don't know much hokkien (except for the swear words), I think it's really funny to see hokkien coming out of a buncha ang moh's mouth!

And Prince Charles siao one! got chio bu wife last time also dun wan..

(why am i talking like that ah?)

Unregistered

Fucking hilarious man! Could you translate the Hokkien part?

Unregistered

wahahhaha..careful boy..!! .. will visit you in london jail if this gets too far. ahaha.. but then again, they are not malaysian are they?! WAHAHAHA.

Unregistered

*in hysterical fits over hokkien jokes*

PANG JI LIAP BOMB!

Unregistered

btw NSDS3, the hokkien convo can be loosely translated to [bear some of the direct translations]:

*queen accidentally farted*

Queen: Shy, your mother just let out a bomb of a fart.

Charles: Walau!

Queen: How? Can let out or not? (fart)

Charles: Crazy woman! You want to use poison gas to slay me to death ar??


:: end translation ::


..... but it kinda loses the effect once translated to english, no? =/ or maybe kenny can do a better job of it. ^^

Unregistered

hahaha dude u surely crack me up!

Unregistered

The hokkien version is damn funny.....i was laughing away!

Unregistered

WuaaAhahaHAaHaHAAhAHaHahahAHAahAHaahAHaHAAhaAHAHAhahahaHaAHAHaHaAHaAHahaAhaahAhaAHAHa!!!!

Thanks for making my incredibly boring day a little more fun.

Unregistered

Jesus fucking christ...! Bloody hilariousm can't stop laughing now...shit...

Unregistered

That is so "creative"! I like it! ~Blackwidow~

Unregistered

The first two were good, but the 3rd really spoiled it for me...don't think the area of incest is a good one to venture into when it comes to cracking jokes.
But, still had a good laugh especially from the hokkien part. Yours is a daily read for me now.

Unregistered

In an effort to defend (professional) lip-readers....

It is another form of communication, especially for those who are deaf and other than sign language, they do lip-read.

Nevertheless!

It can become a major intrusion of privacy.

Unregistered

Now that these horny bunch of clowns have settled down, perhaps they should start thinking about returning the oil they have stolen from Miri.

And then apologizing for signing Sarawak away to the peninsula.

Unregistered

You are amazingly sarcastic and Charles has bad taste!!! ;)

Unregistered

Holy shit, this was funny stuff!

Unregistered

bahahahahah!

Unregistered

this post is absolutely hilarious but i don't agree that camilla is a husband snatcher.

the point here is, charles loves her - end of story. leave them alone!

Unregistered

Who's more fuckable, Camilla or the Queen? Tough call...

Unregistered

You are amazing man! where do u get all thouse ideas?

Unregistered

OMG! You really rock man! this is really hilarious! ;)

Unregistered

hope you are feeling better today....

Unregistered

hey kenny, you never fail to make my day better with loads of laughter. cheers man!

Unregistered

they didnt marry on the pope's funeral day..they postponed it to that sunday instead..

Unregistered

Wah, Kenny, speechless and tabik you for the creative thoughts.

Unregistered

omg u make me laugh like shit man!!!! cunted ar!!! hahaha! ur blog rox!

Unregistered

Leave them alone, love is blind. but the strips make me laugh till lau sai

Unregistered

Geee... since when you become a lips reader expert?

By the way, remember to show us ur Kenny 蝦毛 soup ar~ Muahahahaha!!!

Unregistered

hahhahhhahhha....

the hokkien's version is great

Unregistered

I hereby cetified you as a PRO very darn pro lips reader expert!!! lmao

Unregistered

Wahhh… so many comments. I dunno how to reply all lehhh.

Thanks for promoting this site lah. Glad everyone had a great laugh. At the end of the day I just wanted to make fun of those tabloid newspapers who love to jump to conclusions after observing really really subtle things. Eg. A quick glance = a cold stare. Hands on tummy = pregnant, etc etc.

Apologies for the incest joke. Yea I know its in bad taste, but whatever lah. ;)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

JY, you Singlish-ized yourself ar? Hahaha

Hsin Ee, thanks for the translations. Though “Am Jua? Eh pang boh” actually meant “How? Smells nice or not.” Heh, sorry my Hokkien spelling isn’t that good. I need to attend more Hokkien class.

Debster, I know, but lip-reading is still very much a 50-50 guessing game. I just doubt those so-called professional lip-readers can lip-read from images from a TV monitor, which were shot on a camera several metres away from the actual speakers.

Pope, “And then apologizing for signing Sarawak away to the peninsula.” Waseh! Don’t play play!
Sunny, *hugs*

Wilson, sometimes I just read an article thinking “This is just bloody ridiculous!” Then I thought a bit more about it and it ended up on this blog. :)
TBM, thanks for the concern. I’m ok really, I wasn’t feeling down at all.

fish fish, HEH! When I make my jiao-mao soup, I’ll make sure you or Eddie to be the first one to write a food review about it!

Unregistered

Kenny,

(Okay, I'm just being extra silly) but anyway, isn't that how some people watch the news - by lip-reading off the TV?

Then again... you could be right, very 50-50. Only Charles (pardon me, HRH Charles) would know what he really said.

Anyway, don't mind me... I'm just reading too much off the "issue"... ;)

Unregistered

Hokkien version had me laughing until i spit all over my comp screen!
=P

The incest was jus sick n gross tho..
Ewww...

Charles aint tat dumb.. He nailed the hot chick first.. Den when after the love of his love..
Princes do get wat they want..
Besides, t'least tat way they have the super super cute Prince William! (I like Harry, but sometimes he jus looks too much like his father.. :o)

Camillas not bad too actually..

Actually i think pro lip readers, actually can do their job..
Bout i doubt the tabloids..

Unregistered

Hey mate, great job. While i was reading your hokkien version of "jokes", my mom actually read it as well. We got a loud laugh. Your site is really all time fav to me. :) Keep it up!

Unregistered

I find the whole Charles-Camilla thing quite a circus.

I want to ask u something. What software do you use on those pictures? Can download from internet or not?

Unregistered

Hoh man, ur last comments and the hokkien was way cool dawg;. Thumbs up for your uniqueness

Unregistered

hey!
they were so fucking FUNNY!!! i think camilla is so fucking awsome!!!
but they were funny!!

Unregistered

there really gd comments hilarious!!!!

"no more affairs" hahaha

Unregistered

hi all
the marriage for whom.
who consider them to be married.
what there name.
where r u now.
please a contact quickly.
bye 2307901016

Unregistered

HAHAHA!! lim lau boo pang ji liap BOMB!! fuck,funny shit going on here

Unregistered

i love the hokkien man !
i didnt know that the queenie could talk in such a smooth dialect !
wah be ka lu kong ah !

Unregistered

aww sick!

i do like the hokkien version though

Unregistered

that hokkien version is great , damn hilarious , i like it

Unregistered

Love hokkien.. Everything sounds vulgar

Unregistered

r u sure tat u dun have sense of humour?
u rock kenny~~~;)

Unregistered

Damn I Love YOU Kennysia! But I'm NOT GAY okay.

Unregistered

Lol

Unregistered

Im so excited, I ive got to get everything perfect for the day, I hope he doesnt get too drunk

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