Am I the only one finding this whole thing absurd?
Flip open the papers, walk down the stores. Everywhere we go these days we’re constantly being bombarded by hundreds and thousands of weight loss ads. Marie France, Mayfair Bodyline, Slimming Sanctuary, Unisense.
You seen them once, you seen them all:
1. All of them claim the EASIEST way to weight loss
2. All of them cost TOO BLOODY EXPENSIVE
3. All of them feature endorsements by perfect-looking celebrities WHO PROBABLY HAVE NEVER EVER BEEN FAT BEFORE IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE!
It’s damn illogical ok. These celebrities are not even human ok, they’re freaking GODDESSES. They don’t NEED those weight loss products to look good. Why are they the one endorsing it? It doesn’t make sense.
The latest culprit in this relentless assault of celebrity-endorsed weight loss ads seems to be massager-manufacturing giant Osim. In Singapore, it’s Mediacorp star Fiona Xie. Here in Malaysia, it’s 8TV hottie Marion Caunter.
It was horrible. It’s like everywhere I go I see cardboard cutouts of Marion Caunter doing THAT pose. It’s like she plugged herself into The Matrix and asked Agent Smith to clone multiple versions of herself. Not that I’m complaning really, though personally I would prefer a real-life Marion Caunter than a cardboard Marion Caunter.
Feeling irritated, I decided to pen a letter to Osim International demanding an explaination.
I mailed out the letter this afternoon. Here’s the content.
Mr Ron Sim
Chief Executive Officer
Osim International Pte Ltd
65 Ubi Ave 1
Re: Spokespersons For Osim uZap
I am writing to you to express my extreme disappointment at Osim International’s decision to use Fiona Xie and Marion Caunter as spokespersons for Osim uZap in Singapore and Malaysia respectively.
My disappointment has nothing to do with Fiona and Marion personally, as I’m fan of them both and I enjoy their work in the media industry tremendously.
My disappointment has more to do with the fact that Osim uZap is a slimming product, and the fact that Fiona and Marion have perfect bodies all their lives. In that sense, they are unfit (pardon the pun) to tell people that Osim uZap has a positive effect on their bodies because it is illogical to make a perfect body… even more perfect.
I think Osim International should not use Fiona and Marion as spokepersons, but instead you should use a less-than-perfect spokesperson for Osim uZap. That way, you would sound more credible and believable when you tell people that uZap works, and people will not just anyhow say that Osim is talking cock.
Where to find a less-than-perfect spokesperson you ask?
Not to worry, as I have already found the perfect candidate to be the less-than-perfect spokesperson for Osim uZap. That person is… me!
Hereby enclosing two photos of myself for your kind consideration.
Please make me your uZap spokesperson.
I wonder if they’re even gonna reply.
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