Wax Hand Union Review

Making a wax model of your own hand seems like the newest money-wasting fad in town.
waxhand

Good to see. Nice to hold. Totally useless like an asshole.

I spotted one these Wax Hand Union kiosks in Tun Jugah Shopping Centre a few months back. Since then, a couple more of these kiosks mushroomed all over town, usually manned by bored-looking Ah Bengs napping in their seats.
As is the case with every other fad franchising business, these kiosks eventually lose money, close down, and slowly disappear one by one.
Out of curiousity, I got a wax model of my hand done a long long time ago. Naturally, I chose the most appropriate hand gesture that came to mind.

waxhand

“WHAT? WANNA FIGHT AH? NAH!!! KANEBO CHAO CIBA VISION!”

That was around two months back. I kinda left the wax model in the cupboard and forgotten all about it. The recent spate of childish attack comments on my site suddenly reminded me that I had this ‘secret counter weapon’ hidden away.
Unfortunately when I dug it out of its box, I found this instead.
waxhand

Oops.

Damn. There’s nothing more frustrating than a body part turning flaccid when you needed it most.
So anyway, I was at Tun Jugah yesterday shopping for some business shirts at G2000 when I impulsively decided to get another wax hand model done.
The girl at the counter quoted me the price of RM10 for a single hollow hand wax, an additional RM5 for a base, and another RM15 if I were to make it solid.
waxhand

Exhibit A: A typical money-losing business.

I was tempted to pay RM30 to go for the full package considering my middle-finger wax model had collapsed earlier. But then I thought RM30 for crappy wad of wax isn’t worth it. She however, convinced me to go for a hollow model and if it were to collapse, she’ll do me a solid one for another RM15. I agreed.
waxhand

Ice Ice Baby.

I opted to do a wax model of my half-clenched fist.
The girl first immersed my hand into a container of ice-cold water. This is to numb my hand sufficiently for the hot wax later, but I think she overdid it. The water was so cold I almost went into hypothermia.
waxhand

Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot!

And here’s my hand dipped into hot wax. I always thought ‘dipping my hand into hot wax’ sounded kinda kinky. Not this time.
She dipped my hand into cold water and hot wax alternately for a couple of times until a layer of wax forms on the surface. Its a little painful to have my ice-cold hand immersed into hot wax immediately. My half-clenched fist contracted involuntarily which means the end result probably wouldn’t be what I wanted.
waxhand

From this angle, it looked like I was tweaking her nipple but I swear its not like that.

Finally a thick layer of wax has formed tightly on my hand. The girl umm…. gave me a hand by peeling my shaped wax off. It felt bizarrely good. The sensation is like removing a tight sweaty hand glove on a hot day. I was lucky the hair on my hand didn’t go with it.
All that’s left to do is touch up on the model…
waxhand

The HAND model, not the GIRL model!

Dip it into some coloured wax…
waxhand

Choose between red, blue or yellow!

Attach it to the base…
waxhand

Yes I chose a heart-shaped base. Don’t ask. They don’t have much choice.

TADA!
waxhand

My very own wax hand model!

Brilliant, eh?
So, the next big question is then… what the foot am I gonna use this for?
waxhand
Well my friends. Surprisingly, there are many ways an additional hand can come in err… handy.
For example, you can use it to act like you’re in shock.
waxhand
Put in on your desk and show people how much bling-bling you’ve got.
waxhand
And err… I leave it up to your imagination here. 😉
waxhand
Anyone have any other suggestions?

47 Replies to “Wax Hand Union Review”

  1. you’re right to say those things are utterly useless. they’re kind of freaky in a way. your first one was especially a rip-off hahah. but to their credit, it must take some level of ‘expertise’ in order to create such maginificent ‘masterpieces’. LOL i actually thought it was your hairy leg you were dipping in the first picture ahahah

  2. Haha. Make another wax model of your lightsaber and you can have fun. Haha. Btw, been a silent reader all this while and I hope u don’t mind if I put ur link on my page.

  3. Fuck, dude. you’ve like got the hairiest arm i’ve ever seen on a chinese dude (those lebanese sand monkeys dont count)

  4. dude…
    I m also a hairy moneky like you….
    I ain’t really a chinese but i live in singapore… abd sg gals just love it.
    I also kinda agree with the Saying “Hairy ppl r horny ppl”

  5. wah..so much money to throw around ah! hmm saw tat in tun jugah too. hhee wanted to get one done but too expensive just for a wax thingy. hmm..
    a suggestion, fly it over to perth. give it to tiffy on her 21st today! =p

  6. wow kenny!! u r dammmmn hairy lar.. dammmmmmn SEXy!! haha!!
    n i kinda agree with Din and Joe.. have fun with ur new toy!! 😉

  7. Hey Dude, Pix #7 reminds me a rather gross hardcore porno I once watched…or was it artificial insemination of Thorughbred horses on educational TV 🙂

  8. Yoo Kenny~! I like ur central finger….ummm can use for a lot of purpose leh…can also consider multipurpose use….i think mostly u can use it to point and someone u don’t like….hehehe…or maybe use for *cencored* and to make them *cencored*….hahaha…i learn CENCORED from Kennysia.com….don’t play play leh…BEST IN Kuching!

  9. Hairy!
    If you like wax, you could try doing Brazilian waxing. It’s.. painfully enjoyable. LOL.
    Isn’t it like weird if you had to use your hand to hold ANOTHER hand to.. erm.. do as your last photo? Wouldn’t it be easier and.. not to mention.. more sensational to use the first hand? I mean, the wax is like.. cold? And if things get heated up.. your new wax hand will probably become like your previous wax hand!

  10. I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one’s hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great….especially the last one >_

  11. your face reminds me of an old friend of mine, he’s also a joker and always makes those around him happy! Now he’s in malacca doing engineering but he plans to be a pilot.

  12. i like the put money to show how much blingbling part..=) i think i might get 1 too..jes for the sake of a namecard holder..

  13. oh, i know i know! you could bite ur wax nails instead of the real ones.. and never let your manicure go to waste again. Yay^^

  14. elb, oh yeahhh!
    Twit, don’t you think hot wax is kinky? Gee what’s wrong with you! 😀
    lilyng, HAHA! Now why on earth would I wanna make a model of my hairy feet? To stick it up people’s arse?
    sandkan, I know I know. Unfortunately I clenched my fist too tightly.
    Din, I’d be so flatter if you were to link to me. I love it when silent readers reveal themselves.
    Jin, gee thanks! In a weird kinda way.
    zeke, a lot of people tell me hairy arms is digusting. So I don’t know how many people out there actually likes it.
    cakie, I shall hold a birthday party for my asshole then.
    Joe, haha! There’s nothing like going to your bedroom and have someone hand you a clean pair of underwear.
    Jase, yes I know, I know.
    babysalad, tell me you think hairy legs are sexy as well and I’ll hook up with you.
    chrissie, well rm15 is the price of a meal anyway. Anyway I got tiffy her bday pressie already.
    crazy, I hope you’re not a guy when you say things like that!
    belacans, I actually tried to put an ice cream cone on it. Didn’t work. 😐
    e, HAHAHAHAHAHA!! My gawd, eddie! You and your dirty mind. 😉
    Jordan, maybe I can use it to clean my arsehole at areas where the toilet paper can’t reach. But I’m afraid it’ll leave a wad of wax on my arse… which wouldn’t look too good.
    WanYi, phoar! That’s the first time I hear that expression. “Brazillian waxing is painfully enjoyable.” I wouldn’t mind giving it a try and blog about it, but I’m afraid they’re gonna wax my testicles off.
    mk, the wax is too smooth to do any scratching lah.
    NSDS3, eat pau off wax hand.
    Lyon, its not all that fashionable. Its just really novel. 🙂
    slick, too bad I holed up in Kuching doing something unrelated to engineering and have no immediate plans to fly SIA airplanes… mymy

  15. Ha! My father also did the hand-wax at a Mother’s day luncheon my sister took my parents to. After a few days the fingers droopped down. But it wasn’t so bad because it was free 😉

  16. Wax-Hand Union

    While I followed my aunty and cousin shopping at Tun Jugah, I stumbled upon this wax-hand maker stall situated just next to Yishion’s shop on 1st floor. I read Kenny’s hillarious article before about his review on Wax-Hand Union. Just to be…

  17. a guy like you need a guy like me around… go to petaling street i’ll prolly save 1/3 the money you spend and still have enough to buy you a wax job for your right hand ^_^

  18. Hey guy! I think it’s really nice. But I wonder how could you take your hand out of the wax cover? Did they have to cut it?

  19. Yeah, I’ve seen this at the french castle, Berjaya Hills Resort – Malaysia. The stall was sorrounded by freaking lots of ppl and i wonder what the crap is that! I think the owner of this franchise is f****king rich. Anybody interested to setup one of these biz ^~^

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