License To Touch

Thanks for all the feedback on my previous entry, guys.

I say keep your hands to yourself, period. No questions asked. It’s indisputable – it’s wrong on so many levels to even touch anyone, be it a girl or a boy, anywhere other than the hand the first time you meet.

Posted by: Anonymous

I think it should be strictly hands off during a first meeting… but it kinda depends. When I was in Australia, it was kinda acceptable that the Aussies were touchy. You’d think to yourself: Ahhh. They’re just being friendly… they’re like that with everyone! Back in Malaysia however, it’s more like… EEE! What is this guy up to arr?
Not sure if this is an example of blatant double standards or just a cultural difference! πŸ˜€

Posted by: spirit3d

It just doesn’t feel right to be touched by someone at the first meeting. Not anyplace, let alone the small of your back, even the friendly-shoulder-hugging is a no-no. But I am an Asian, and being brought up in a conservative family too. So maybe u can hug Western girls at your first meeting (heck, you can even bed some of them), or Asian girl brought up Western style.
However, if you do that to me, I’ll be extra careful to avoid you the next time we’re in the same place.

Posted by: fei

Looks like there’s a lot of conservative people in Malaysia!
Perhaps it is because I tend to mix with the younger and more “liberal” crowd in Kuching, but light-touching or hugging among friends and friends of friends in a social atmosphere is definitely very common around here.

I do hope people here can lighten up a bit though. Asian or not, I reckon the world could do with a bit more friendly physical touches. Imagine how boring life is gonna be if you go out to a PARTY with the intention to meet new people, but then you have to keep your hands strictly to yourself the entire time!
It is gonna be so boring, you might as well go attend a business meeting.
Then there are also some who brought up the “looks” argument.

I don’t mind. IF he is cute enough.

Posted by: Party-Ann

As long as you’re handsome, everything will be fine! =D

Posted by: Alex

If the guy is handsome, then a physical touch is okay; if the guy is some ugly shit, pls stay away! Hahaha…

Posted by: Mil

The answer to Kenny’s anxiety is – obviously, girls will only let GOOD-LOOKING guys (though not all the time) touch them when they first meet. I’m not trying to offend, but with looks like KENNY SIA a bit fat a bit chi kor pek face, i will feel so GROSS OUT and think that he’s a hamsup man and likes to take advantage of girls.

Posted by: easy peasy

Call it superficial, but it’s true.

Studio photo courtesy of Alvin Leong Photography

If you have looks as unfortunate as mine, girls are not exactly gonna be very receptive to you touching them at all. Even a friendly gesture of touching at the back momentarily is gonna be taken as something sleazy, no matter how genuine you want it to be.
But if you look like DAVID BECKHAM, then suddenly it becomes a wholeeeee different story.

Then you don’t have to touch them at all, THEY WILL TOUCH YOU.

Sad lah. It seems like the only way people can ever accept my friendly gesture without misunderstanding is if:
(a) I’m good-looking; or
(b) I’m macho; or
(c) I’m Caucasian; or
(d) All of the above.
Or maybe I should just turn into David Beckham.

So, can I touch now?

Socio-political youth mag TheCicak is organising an essay competition themed 50 Years 50 Heroes: Young Malaysians You Need to Know. Interested? Then go check out their website!

217 Replies to “License To Touch”

  1. goodness kenny, that 4th pic of u with the dopey eyes is one of the best i’ve seen of u ever.
    and then u had to spoil it wif the photoshopped david beckham picture. sigh.
    haha. still like the 4th pic though.

  2. Monkey? More like gorilla! lol
    Anyway…if someone who looks like David Beckham wants to touch me, I’d call him hamsap! To me it depends more on whether people look well-intentioned or not…

  3. Well, I’m an Aussie girl. A friend directed me to this blog.
    I read your previous entry and I’d like to chip in my 2 cents worth.
    I do go to clubs and stuff. But I would never like anyone touching me when I first know the person, yes, no matter how good looking he might be. Touching a stranger is quite disrespectful.
    If I really have to, I would say ‘Sorry’ or ‘Excuse me’ before touching the stranger.
    I think you’re just using your experience living in Australia to justify your misdeed.
    Just simply apologise, that’s what real man do.
    p.s. if anyone says Aussie girls are ok being touched by strangers, he/she must be talking about the strip clubs.

  4. eh that photoshopped pic of u in david becks, look as if ur sun wu kong instead.. stick to ur own looks n body, be confident even if pple luff at u like retards.. n yeah, best is juz keep ur hands to urself to avoid further misunderstandings n all =) cheers!

  5. eh hello boss kenny, david beckham ugly fella la ok? girls still wont let u touch them wan… tell u what, just tell them your name is fai n they’ll be alright.. hahha

  6. Why do you HAVE to touch? I agree with Gemma – it’s disrespectful and an outright violation of, literally, personal space.
    It’s superficial, and it’s not always true that it’s okay if you were macho or handsome. This superficial guideline only applies to superficial people.

  7. WoooWWW… u look damn scary more than anything, but hey… cute enough :D, like that..
    Kenny.. wil u be droppin by KL this week RobotCon ????

  8. Haha, I love your photoshopping! So shiok. As far as touching goes, I think it’s really up to how receptive the girl is. If you really want to get to know the girl, there will be an understanding of what’s too far. Take it slow.

  9. All of my childhood was spent in Asia and I really, really, really felt thet people are too conservative when it comes to touching. Personally, I’m a really touchy-feely girl, and I believe in the physical reassurance of touch. A hug is always better than a “I’m sorry for you” right? Hugs seem more sincere. I became the touchy-feely hug girl in school and people came to me when they wanted a comfortable cuddle. Much better than having to worry about whether I was offending someone by touching them or not.
    Oh and you know, sometimes because a less-than macho/well-built/gorgeous guy is comfortable touching a girl at their first meeting, it makes him more appealing. Because he’s confident and that usually equals attractive. But of course, this only applies in my little Western world lar.
    Singapore (where I grew up) and Malaysia, heck, ASIA, will not be so receptive to this as us caucasians are

  10. i cant stop wondering, u r trying to knoe more ppl ? or jz touch mor ppl? y nt touch them after they are REALLY ur frens…then it wont b any problem at all, rite? kenny

  11. the finished beckham looks like an extra on “Planet of Apes”…but no…now you can’t touch…cos i’m the ONE girl who HATES beckham that cheating little no good gstring wearing @#$%^&

  12. Sometimes if someone touches me i would doubt that the cleanliness of the hands. It sounds very yucky to be touched by a dirty hand. Do remember to WASH your HANDS before you touch anyone !

  13. kenny… keep your hands in your pocket next time.. like Edison Chen.. haha… stop touching ppl again you bas tard..

  14. We cant please everybody. Even if we look like Becks, or Becks himself have the license to touch, it might one day turn out we get sued for molesting people.
    Take Mike Tyson and Micahel Jackson as example. They had fame. They were rich and popular. Just one touch beyond the boudary, they ended up in jail and bankruptcy.
    People may also assume guy touch guy or girl touch gril is OK. But who know when you touch, they think you are gay or les. Hmm…
    That creates confustion. So, to touch is not as simple as we thought.

  15. you looked like freakin Gorilla in Beckham’s body.
    You’re ruining everything. Kenny, word of wisdom. You are who you are. If you’re not handsome, so be it. Don’t try to be one. Just accept it. Don’t change yourself for other people, it just don’t work and also made you a freakin desperate person.

  16. OMG you turned Becks into a monkey……..I guess now you can touch since you turned into a monkey I’m sure the girls wont mind a pet hug too -__-”
    But really when it comes to physical contact most girls are more open to rich good looking guys which is an ass hole then to someone which has a great personality but is fugly…This is the real and cruel world we live in, deny it all you want girls but deep down you know its true…….
    SO Kenny relax just learn how to control your urge to be excessively friendly and you will be just fine, as the touching may be common in the West but strong Eastern values prevent local gils from thinking so……

  17. so, when is the journey to the west starting??
    anyways…good looking or not, some ppl juz look sleazy, u will get the vibe when u first meet them. mostly i listen to that.
    some ppl dont and they listen to themselves too much and think u have dirty plans when u touch them.
    someone like u, being such a teddy bear, cant imagine u being dirty-minded lah. juz too wrong like…urm.. 12yo talking to me abt sex. wrongggggg

  18. err, is it just me or does any of u find the last picture resembling a MONKEY? Hahaha. now Kenny can really touch monkeys. Err, Kenny, I’m just joking okay?

  19. I think the “no-touching” part has Muslim roots embedded in you guys over there, in the Western world it’s accepted along with kissing in public, holding hands, hugging, MINI SKIRTS!!! without being considered a slut, among many other things which Muslim culture doesn’t allow or in the “modern Islamic” society permits/tolerates.

  20. hi Kenny
    I am a Msian, currently staying in Aus. Your latest two entries are quite stimulating. It makes me ponder actually about touching.
    I am definitely not a conservative person, even back in Msia, I do hug and touch. But I know when to keep my hand away, when dealing with people I just met.
    Even in Aus, I won’t touch the gal’s back when I first met her. A good handshake will do, then definitely keep your hand into your POCKETS. When you get close to her, then you can! hahaha
    Play Safe, don’t Regret

  21. oh please. a bit more friendly physical touches? You’re a guy what do you know about how a woman would feel, even if he happens to be a good looking guy. The question is not about how conservative some women tend to be, it’s simply about how inappropriate it is to let a stranger touch you. You can’t compare between an asian country and a western country because culture wise we’re very different but that also doesn’t mean that most western ladies are open minded! Open your eyes.

  22. well… all i can say… is i tink it’s jz bcos u’re friendly so it didn’t occur to u dat u might’ve offended someone by doin so.
    sometimes we don realise we’re doin something cos u feel at ease with d person but i do agree for a person u’ve jz met u must hv a wee bit o restrain der.
    i too hv dat problem. i hv d tendency to hug ppl so sometimes i hv to restrain myself from doin so as i do not want to offend d person.. go figure. small insignificant gestures to u can mean a whole different thing to others.

  23. Oh My God. that is hilarious!!!!!!!!! i burst out laughing at the last picture in front of so many people!!
    you make my day la.

  24. ppl don’t like to be touched by anyone met for the 1st time coz they still can’t 100% trust them.. this is just simple defence mechanism in human instinct..
    and it doesn’t help that most chinese guys in their relaxed condition looks fishy.. it’s not that we wanted it to be this way but let’s just accept it and keep ur hands to urself alright?.. u’ll look polite that way. ;D

  25. I don’t get it, Kenny, why is it so important to be able to touch people you meet for the first time? What is the point of having your hand on the small of a girl’s back who you’ve just met?
    So you go to a party to meet new people, and must be able to touch whoever you please otherwise it will be “boring”? I guess conversation isn’t physically stimulating enough eh? Since boredom is a mental thing.

  26. Kenny, it really doesn’t matter how good looking a guy is. Physical appearance is not a license to touch girls.
    I can’t speak for the handful of shallow and superficial individuals though.

  27. Even in Australia, it depends what kind of settings it is. In the club/lounge we actually do kiss on the cheeks even on the first meeting, and it’s considered normal/polite. But outside the club/in broad daylight people are less inclined to be that physical during the first meeting, so a handshake is sufficient.
    But of coz, the level of physical contact back in Malaysia would be different, so unless you’ve known one person for a while, it’s best to avoid being touchy feely so others don’t misinterprete your actions.

  28. Kenny,
    Even if you look good, you still cant touch someone you meet for the first time. They’ll slap you. However if the girl touch you, then you can have 2 choices, slap them or touch them back. hehe.

  29. funny..when you turn into David Beckham, I think this girl Jo won’t mind you touching her..this girl ah..if she wants to socialise, she should be more open.

  30. Oh my god…
    David Beckham is David Beckham… You are who you are. I love David Beckham. And I love you too. Do not worry to much about appearance. Girls love guy who has sense of humor =p

  31. Don’t worry, u look perfectly fine!!! Well i dont think david is handsome.. i still prefer Asian guys!

  32. ur looks are actually not bad, u just need to slim down. come to think of it, i don’t like the idea of a guy touching a girl if she is showing off more skin.. if u notice, dawn yang always “plasters & sticks” herself to whoever she meets the 1st time or not, when taking pictures. liberal.

  33. its always, you face the consequences of your right or wrong doings.. πŸ™‚
    but a simple hug like few other said, would be great πŸ™‚

  34. i agree w some of them. It really depends on an individual, you can’t generalize a group, there are conservative and open-minded ppl all over. But, we’d never know which belongs to what until we got to know them. So take your time, no hurry… and a guy with a good sense of humour is definitely an appeal to girls, and I think u’ve already hit that note. *winks

  35. well, i guess.. some girls would be quite open. but for me, i think .. the first meeting (espc if you are strangers – even if you are being introduced by friends) a distance shld be there. even if u r leng chai! haha.
    but if u were helping her across a drain or asking her for a dance, that’s totally different la.
    it’s just very very subjective.

  36. hahahahaahahahahaahahahahaahahahahaa
    u look terrible as beckham!!
    but you look fine as yourself..
    it really does depend on the girl, not everyone is the same so you’ll never really truly know if they respond the same way as the girl u met just now..
    went to sec school in perth and i remember lots of caucasian girls i knew who would start making out with random guys at a school social.. and my other caucasian friends referred to them as ‘sluts’ and other unpleasantries..
    didn’t see any asian girls doing the same.. so evidently they r different..
    but yeah, just be wary! πŸ˜€ handshake, and maybe, just maybe a hug at the end of the night will suffice πŸ˜‰

  37. hmm.. mr. kenny sia.. in my opinion, i think it is not SO nice to touch a girl (no matter which part of her body) during the 1st meet up lor.. as its kinda disrespectful i tik ^^”‘ as da gal doesnt really know ya n vice versa.. it leaves bad impression for the gal too.. actually.. hmm.. do u think its necessary to touch her? if can avoid.. den better dont touch lor.. i dont think even u were david beckham.. u wun get da license as well lah.. =)

  38. To me, it’s not a matter of conservative whether we let people to touch or not. What if there are people who are actually taking advantage on that?
    I have friends (guy) touching me and it makes very uncomfortable. Friendliness can be exhibit from the way someone talk, not necessarily by touching.
    You can’t be hoping for everyone to accept it just because you think it’s okay. Just like maybe someone making fun of you or your family members. It might be offensive to you but to that person s/he will say, “Come on, it’s just a joke!”
    So, no matter how good or bad looking just don’t touch!

  39. Make her comfortable in the first place.Don’t go too early,play safe and slowly.Then she will think that she can be safe with you.
    After that,example 3 or 4 times you’ve go out with her,than you can touch a little bit.

  40. I did have a recent encounter where a really cute, macho Caucasian friend, put his arms on my shoulder. It wasn’t our first meet, we’ve hung out over the past few days at an event.
    Honestly, I did not think I would feel weird, but I did. I do feel comfortable arnd him but his action did put me on a slight defensive mode. Think he felt it was weird too…hahaha…
    So it doesn’t really apply to Touchy is OK with cute Caucasian guys.

  41. ola Kenny,
    been reading ur story and I must add in my 2 cents di…
    First of all…the mistake already been done…Heck it di lar…
    2nd, why the girl after so long only wanna tell you that she felt uncomfortable that u touched her…that’s the trouble wit ppl sometimes. If u r uncomfortable with something…voice it out…don’t after some time only tell…it makes it very awkward later…like ur situation now…
    3rd, I believe what u did is ok…y? Cos I do it too…MORE THAN U INFACT! but so far no one has ever complaint bout it…maybe they are offended but am lazy to say it…or MAYBE, they know that I dun mean anything bad while touching them…
    4th, I did the same thing to this girl and guess what…she’s my GF now…She said she likes it when a guy is bold enuff to do things outta the ordinary…
    Which brings me to one last question…DO YOU LIKE THAT GIRL??? If not, then why are u so restless over somehing so trivial…Its a normal thing for a guy to touch someone he’s slightly attracted too whether first time eet or not…ITS OK!!!
    So what if ppl think u r ham sap…U R KENNY SIA for crying out loud…good looks? Do u think u need it when u r FAMOUS and earn more than a DECENT WAGE?

  42. Girl = See no touch, Once broken consider sold
    : ( And They mean = YOU CANT AFFORD ME SO HANDS OFF

  43. Girls are like that, they can do whatever they want without giving a shit what others will feel. What if a girl touches a guy? I doubt guys will really even put it in their heart! Touching is alright, just dont ‘feel’ in the public.

  44. Go ahead and touch la.. What’s wrong with you?
    Touch also wanna bising bising..
    Not rape also.
    Unless you use your lanchiow and touch the person lar.

  45. just go n buy & wear a tshirt that says “i wanna touch touch”, then the ppl who sees it will understand… just touch no war

  46. It’s all about giving the most basic Respect to each individual, I believe. A well firm handshake as the first impressive introductory already serves a great gentleman gesture, the rest wouldn’t be elaborative. What comes after next would be the freewill of both parties.

  47. Ooh boys cheeky girls
    Ooh girls cheeky boys
    Ooh boys cheeky girls
    Ooh girls cheeky boys
    I never ever ask where do you go
    I never ever ask what do you do
    I never ever ask whats in your mind
    I never ever ask if youÒ€ℒll be mine
    Come and smile donÒ€ℒt be shy
    Touch my bum this is life.

  48. This is not much of a matter whether he is in love with that girl or not. Instead it is most appropriate to keep your hands to one’s own self. It doesn’t actually matter if the girl is fine with it or not. What if you are the one-in-a-million that she wouldn’t be fine with? Then again, isn’t it better to just interact with words and only after that we adjourn to further plans? Just an opinion..

  49. Ok, choice (c) sounds like it’s ok for white guys to be touchy-feely, but not asian men. Actually it’s pretty freaky if a white guy can’t keep his hands to himself. Makes me think if he has a fetish for asian girls (or porn stars).
    Choice (a) is just a sluttish illusion men have about ladies – girls w/ self-respect don’t throw themselves at ANY guy, cute or not
    Conclusion: Don’t touch!

  50. damn 9 funny… i dont freaking know what is happening to malaysians, touching with no intention of sexual harrassment should be fine… i had just met few chicks back in Sanctuary last night, we had great time camwhoring and very minor physical touch i would say… but kenny in fact, u look horrible in that beckham photochop… yucks!!!

  51. haha..i completely agree with you kenny…nowadays…everything people care about are looks…or money for that matter…
    and i do agree that people should be more open about some friendly long as people watch their boundaries…it should be just taken as a friendly gesture rather than ‘omg this guy just wants to screw me’

  52. I disagree with the point that “if it is gonna be so boring, you might as well go attend a business meeting.”
    You can still have a fun and exciting time without touching someone. You can get to know someone at various levels–intellectually, emotionally, physically.
    Unless you want to know someone physically, then touch loh…

  53. pussy pussy little star,
    let me rub you in your bra,
    up above your legs so high,
    always wet and never dry,
    come on baby dont feel shy,
    give me one more try

  54. I agree with Gemma. I’m Aussie bred Malaysian and even though Australia more open compared to the supposed culturally sensitive Asean countries, I wouldn’t give a hoot if ‘Beckham’, himself touches me inappropriately. And, most of my girlfriends have mentioned their vehemence on this topic.
    Basic touching guidance for dummys:
    If you meet a girl for the first time, you sense:
    a) she doesn’t like you – No touch
    b) neutral – No touch
    c) she likes you – No touch, you idiot! Just because she ‘seem’ to like you doesn’t mean that she really likes you. Respect a bit-lah, you think we’re that easy ay???
    Sigh, men. No wonder you’re created with only Two buttons to push – Shove & Ejaculate.

  55. Wow.
    I suppose there’re all sort of women out; Depends on individual woman whether the male is “licensed” to touch.
    Regarding that primate looking picture of Kenny.. well, I think I would prefer the original Kenny have his arm on me than to have that creature in 10 feet proximity.

  56. Quote:
    “Well, I’m an Aussie girl. A friend directed me to this blog…. blah blah
    p.s. if anyone says Aussie girls are ok being touched by strangers, he/she must be talking about the strip clubs.
    Posted by: Gemma at 19 June 2007 3:06 AM | Link to comment”
    Dumb bitch, you are not allowed to touch in strip club.. Stupid people make me sick

  57. The girls will stay further away from you if you’re going to look like s monkey in that photoshop picture! Nice try!

  58. Kenny, I don’t agree with your thinking that girls who don’t like to be physically touched by the opposite sex needs to open up and become more “liberal”. There is serious flaw in your thinking. Put it this way, they have the absolute right to choose if they want to be touched by anyone in the first place and it is their body, they make the choice, and very importantly, you are in no position to judge if that is “liberal” or “non-conservative”.
    I have been in Australia for 4 years now and I spent the first 6 years of my life in USA. I have angmoh cousins and not everyone is ok with physical contact with the opposite sex the first time they meet each other.
    The mentally that you are holding without asking her if it would be ok to touch her is like trying to have sex with her and then when she refuse, you turn around and blame her for being too conservative! OK, I know this example is a bit extreme. What I mean is everyone has their own standard and you have no right to judge their standards…and by what yard stick?

  59. Kenny, play pocket billard with your coconuts when you are socialising ba…
    Touching yourself beats touching others hands down! There’s no such thing as self haressment!!

  60. That’s when squeeze balls were invented for. Kenny, you are addicted to touching girl. Worry not, there’s always help. Consult your nearest squeeze balls retailer for a coconut shaped squeeze balls. The next time you meet up with a girl, just squeeze hard on that squeeze balls to release your touchy feeling. πŸ˜‰

  61. Rule number 1 : Thou shall not touch!
    Rule number 2 : Thou shall not touch!
    Rule number 3 : Thou shall not touch!

  62. I saw in an US magazine,an American gal says that if a guy dares to put his hand behind her waist while taking pics, (NOT SMALL OF HER BACK,WTF IS SMALL OF THE BACK!!!)the guy is a true gentleman.Mayb this works for American gals only not Malaysian gals.

  63. y u keep tink wan to touch ppl??????? so weird la… maybe some ppl tink if 1st time meet u already touch her d..then the next time they meet u…. u mar touch MORE place d??

  64. Hey you guys, it’s Jojo here. Let me, the person he “touched” speak up. He was just being friendly okay, for y’all who call him a monkey are just mad at the fact that you can never get that close to a girl.
    No Kenny, I didn’t particularly mind you touching me, but.. Kenny, you even put your hand on my ‘small of my back’ when you walked me to the toilet!!! I couldn’t figure out how could anyone place his hand so steadily even we walked quite fast!! I hug the friends that I miss and love almost every single time I see ’em, even in broad daylight or at coffee shops.
    So don’t worry babe, not a big deal at all πŸ™‚

  65. Quote:
    “Sigh, men. No wonder you’re created with only Two buttons to push – Shove & Ejaculate.”
    FYI, Belle: Doing two years of your stupid degree in Australia doesnt make you an Aussie bred Malaysian, neither does it make you any smarter… I am sorry, but it sucks to be you

  66. ya belle i agree with morons,dun think yea very smart even if u r studying in harvard or oxford or wateva damn overseas U!!

  67. kenny u think too much la. touch is affection maybe some are not comfortable but be aware of what kind of people before you go for it. lastly the last pic of yours looks like Su Wu Kong!!! lol.

  68. lolzz we guys dun mind if a gal touches all she wants on us??who said tat?tat must depend on which gal, not simply ANY GAL

  69. i find your appearance pretty acceptable ar. not very handsome but then not to the extend of what ugly tee kor pek face. kenny have more confident with your own looks! =)

  70. i wouldn wan anybody touchin me even if they know me. even if we’re jz posing for the camera or whatevs, i dont feel comfortable. wel i can feel my mum’s eyes burnin at my back so that’s probably why.. lol

  71. Man now i think u shouldnt visit the gym alred
    u look like Goku from Journey to the west with that type of body and hair

  72. Be more open..? yes, perhaps that would be fine πŸ˜€ but touch my GF and i ll kill that guy! LOL πŸ˜‰

  73. kenny the last pic ur face on becks is damn cun! perhaps u should keep long hair, and make it blonde hah.

  74. i’d say you’re a whole bunch of bitches/sluts when they say “i don mind if he is handsome/cute/leng chai” … friendly gesture is fine.. but not in the first date or probably the first meeting .. after a couple dating will do πŸ˜€

  75. Haha, so true. Two weeks ago, I was dancing with a guy who was somewhat attractive and he had his hand on the lower part of my back, almost to my butt, and I didn’t stop him! I had a good time.
    And then last week, I hung out with another group of new friends. I was being nice to them and one guy tries to “claim” me by taking pictures and sitting next to me. (One picture he is smelling my hair!! Yuck, delete!) He was very ugly, not even the alcohol made him look better, I’m sorry.
    But you’re not ugly, Kenny, don’t worry. But be sure to read her reaction if you try something like that.

  76. At times, girls get confused too. When do we shake hands, hug or give cheek-kisses? Usually guys I meet for the first time I’ll offer my hand, especially if its business. But then, I do get rejected a couple of times from male muslims. They simply refuse to touch me at all. But then again, some of them do. I’m confused…

  77. I think you totally missed the point and are trying to justify yourself in this second entry. Stop giving excuses like cultural mismatches by taking 2 stereotypical extremes and use that as evidence. Its really bad taste, and quite pathetic actually.

  78. Often times it sounds like you are mad at white guys because asian girls love us. We cant help it, its not our fault. Blame the girls.

  79. i’m just wondering if that last comment in your entry was a joke?? dont get how someone can write that… although i dont get that foreign phrase, but the rest of it was enough to be classified as rather rude…

  80. Lol. Personally, this is what I have to say.
    Do whatever you want. Just don’t get in trouble with the law. =P

  81. OMG hahahah! u managed to photoshop urself to look like —u know who— su erm hong (cantonese) hahahhahah!! yes…the monkey king. Dun be angry hor!!!!

  82. there is another possibility. If you are gay, you can touch all the girls you want, no one will feel you are sleazy hahhhaa. I have gay friends who can hug & touch pretty girls all the time, and the girls are soooooo ga-ga over them and will always hug them, touch them etc πŸ™‚

  83. Honoured to be quoted by kenny, haha, my blog hits went up by 100%…
    Actually if u’re someone good looking, I would still mind, but will be less resistant, i.e. I will not avoid u the next time we’re in the same place. I’m a bit shallow after all.
    Anyway, I do wonder how u’re still able to befren Jo after that very wrong first meeting, haha.

  84. to simply compartmentalize the excuse that kenny has been exposed to the western culture eventhough is an asian is totally rubbish. on the first place i believe he is just taking the opportunity to touch the girl and using the excuse that him staying in australia made him that way. it basically boils down to one thing, he should be more culturally sensitive towards both ways of life having had lived in australia and being an asian.
    in this world of globalization people tend to learn about other cultures which at one time was considered alien but as time flows and the opening up of so many countries and cultures there is a need to be sensitive of other cultures and not simply blame the culture of ignorance. kenny is a professional not to mention comes from a financially well off family, and have travelled widely, and now he is saying that due to culturally differences he is unaware of what he did by touching the girl is wrong or the girl is culturally not in tune with him. kenny should be shameful of himself considering he is well educated, wealthy, well travelled yet at times act as an ignorant fella. Shame laa kenny ! please grow up !
    Kenny replies: Ouch.

  85. omg flora. what the heck.
    What has this man done but a mere hand placed on the back. No male has been runing around grabbing girls, has there?
    Since when touching is for kids only? If you’re offending by a little touch from the opposite sex, shame la flora. Please get out of that coconut shell and live a little. U’re very far behind from modern culture(be it eastern or western).

  86. It depends on your definition of the word touch. Touch can mean many different things to many different people. It can mean as light as casual touch to as heavy as sexual intercourse. So you have to define what do you mean by the word touch.
    Then come touch who? Where? Which parts of the body to be touched?
    Only when all these questions answered, I can tell you whether it will be alright to touch..ha ha ha

  87. If you want to touch, then touch yourself until you satisfied. Why you want to touch others? If don’t think they want your hairy hands on their physical body.

  88. Kenny,please don’t ruin Beckham’s good look. You look like Sun Wu Kung. OMG! No one wants to touch you with that kind of look!!

  89. I believe the Touchy thing (I’m talking “Touch” not feeling, grabbing, fondling,caressing) has more to do with HYPOCRISY & INSECURITY than Conservatism.I enjoyed a good belly-laugh that Social Touching is still Taboo in the most prolific Continent on planet Earth.
    Club-wise (Decent) young women will hold your arm or even ask you to hold hers just to let the sharks know she is with friends.No Strings.
    Sounds as if MALAYSIA is stuck in the time warp where Women provide sex and only Men are allowed to enjoy sex.In the meantime rest of the world has discovered that much of what the Macho man-in-charge reserves for his mistress/lover,is exactly what’s lacking in the marriage.
    I always find it HILLARIOUS to distraction when a woman,willingly in bed, starts oohing & aahing with feined reluctance while raising her backside to get her panty off faster.
    My point; People will be People,regardless!
    Hey Kenny. Travel to Conservative Middle-East from USA sometime, and see them scramble to remove make-up,and replace low cut gowns,hip-hugger jeans and halter-tops with Religious garments when the Captain announces “We’ll be approaching so & so Airspace in 30 minutes”.
    While on the subject I’ll take the opportunity to state that many Females who have had their good names Sullied by BUSY-BODIES just because they prefer to hang-out with the guys are in No-Way-Shape-or-Form “EASY”. Truth is they make Valued Friends with Honest Opinions and FAITHFUL Wives/Partners a man can DEPEND on. THANK you for being there for me.


  91. Hugging and kissing are pretty universal just that Asians are not as openly showing it compared to ang moh. We definitely need to observe and respect other cultures.
    What I don’t understand is that I have dealt with many Malaysians and S’poreans who only spent a short stint overseas and came back with funny twang and act like a mat salleh. It’s really painful to the ears by just listening to them when they struggle to put on an Aussie or Brit or American accent. Be yourself lah! What’s wrong with your own culture, tradition and identity?

  92. “…It is gonna be so boring, you might as well go attend a business meeting.”
    eh kenny, what you’re saying is based on the premise that NO TOUCHING=BORING INTERACTION huh? dude i don’t know who’s more superficial, some of the commenters here or you yourself, kenny sia.
    people can have fun without having to touch touch each other. c’mon dude…that’s sad.
    offering my 2cents. keep on blogging anyways, makes for good mental masturbation and WTF?! responses from readers.

  93. people should just walk around with a sign saying ” TOUCH ME ” or ” HANDS OFF “. that wud make life waaaay easier. : D

  94. Kenny, being a big fan of your blog cause of your wit & wonderful sense of humour, I would most probably be cool with your touching πŸ˜‰ Not to mention, you’re kinda cute as well as a J D Salinger-typish kinda writer.
    Excuse me, moron (your name pretty much sums you up btw) i grew up in australia & came here as a kid. I think you have a problem with those who’re overseas studying/residing – don’t need to let it out to the world abt it. Here’s a direct line to call someone who cares:

  95. i don’t think you should touch anyone that you don’t know well…
    you can test the waters once you know them reasonably well. see their reaction and whether they reciprocate. if they do, then you know la… can touch πŸ˜›

  96. Just for the sake of the matter, I support your stance Kenny!
    This i feel, is not about if he is horny or not. Enough with you people that sterotype that males are horny every 7 seconds. It’s not true, we are not that superficial.
    The fact of the matter is that I feel touching reflects one’s (in)security. Why cant we greet each other more friendlily? Do we have to have so much apprehension? Where has all the innocence gone?
    The fact is we Asians are stuck up in so many ways. And that breeds a lot of attitude.
    When i was younger, I had a friend who was sad. Her attitude towards touch are horridly insecure. Everyone else just had to stand there and watch, how helpless she was. We cant comfort her with a proper touch. That’s was ridiculous, there was no humanity in it.
    Really, where’s the damn humanity now if we are to keep our hands to ourselves constantly.

  97. The minute you become a blog superstar and the next minute makes you feel like a criminal. What a life, people are crazy.

  98. Belle… STOP GIVING AWAY YOUR PHONE NUMBER FFS.. Btw, your 1300 number kinda tells the whole world that you are a fucking whore who lives off lonely old men who “shove and ejaculate” while having phone sex with you.. OPPS, YOU MIGHT BE TOO DUMB TO REALISE THAT ANYWAY.. MAN, IT SUCKS TO BE YOU!!

  99. Singaporean with aussie education here.
    I’ll say go for touch at first meeting in addition to a handshake… BUT only touch the other person’s handshaking arm lightly, for less than 2 seconds, and never above the elbow with the hand that you are not handshaking with. Don’t *grab* the arm, as this forms a two-handed handshake and can be perceived as overbearing or bossy. Touch the arm, never grab it.
    The lower arm is a non-threatening area of the body which should not trigger any defensive reaction if she’s the no-touch type. The primary purpose of this touch, however, is to show that you are open to touch if the girl has doubts too (hey, she might be having the same dilemma whether to touch you or not).
    So, you’ve communicated that you’re an open-minded and well-travelled person who is welcome to the idea of touching. Now the next step is to find out if she’s a toucher too. In this case, lint is your friend. Yep. Lint. Place a stray thread (pocket lint can provide some useful yet inoffensive and clean material) on your shoulder when out of sight of the girl (during say, a washroom visit). A stray hair on a white shirt can do as well (use *only* straight head hair dammit). Carry on as normal when you return to her. If she is open to touch, she would reach out without a thought, and help you pick it off. Or if you wear a tie, you can also make it slightly askew so that she has the opportunity to initiate first touch by straightening it. The tie test is more sensitive than the lint test.
    In both cases, if she removes the lint/adjusts your tie, she’s probably a toucher. If she points out the problem but does not initiate touching, you might have a *uh-oh* no-touch girl on your hands.
    Kenny replies: That’s educational. Did you like… graduated from the Woman University’s School of Touch in Australia?

  100. Hehe no Kenny, I just did counselling psychology and a part of it was related to body language, which I had a huge interest in.

  101. Moron: Oops, did I strike a nerve point? Sigh, some tips for you –
    1) Anger and swearing won’t help a reasonably intelligent person see your viewpoint
    2) Calling me a ‘fucking whore who lives off lonely old men who “shove and ejaculate” while having phone sex with you’ does not speak very well of you personally – the type of guy that every girl should/would avoid
    3) Calling Flora to be an ‘Aussie bred wannabe’ depict of your discriminative perceptions on the West. Aww, you poor thing, you had trouble deciphering her written English – Thesaurus is actually really helpful esp in cases like yours
    4) The way you wrote & your abusive rhetorics reflect poorly on the typical Malaysian young adults
    Mel_W: Apologies if i appeared to be proud, i was merely defending the standards of the australian women here. I grew up here & i detest how discriminative men can be towards western women (or women, in general). Just because a woman born in the west / west-educated, it doesnt’ mean that they’re loose & that men can treat them with ‘more liberty’
    in a nutshell, men, treat any women as how you would expect another men to treat your sister/wife/girlfriend/etc.
    p/s – moron: Peace, i really feel for you man, will keep you in prayers, bro.

  102. I still disagree re: touching, even if the guy was good-looking. Sure you may be able to bed some girls upon first meeting but they were looking for it, anyway. I live in Melbourne and I don’t see hugging upon first meeting – more a kiss on the cheek. Unless they’re someone really close to someone they already know.

  103. why do u bother so much bout touching yo. how many girls u NEED to touch in order to satisfy yourself. do u really have to touch girls who’re not your soulmate/gf/wife/watever. i mean, like wtf? posting twice about “touching” makes u sound so LAME. and u should be happy that i only use the word “LAME” to describe u. people start calling u typical malaysian. later on it becomes typical malaysianS. get what i mean? read the meaning of “disgrace” in the dictionary.

  104. why in the first place are u assuming things kenny? next time, please think over and do a research before u assume/conclude stuffs. don’t just throw all your wrong ideas in. these are not the posts that we want to read.
    Kenny replies: ok. πŸ™

  105. I’m sure through Kenny’s blog entries, we know more or less that he isn’t a dirty old man.

  106. Good looking is not a license to touch. i think 99% of the girls in the world agreed me. So stop doing this even your face is on David Beckham’s body!

  107. hi, been a discreet reader and finally want to voice out my opinion on this matter. i totally agree with you. Asians should lighten up a bit and be friendly. small gestures make people feel loved and welcome. a way to show affection. but if getting too much mushy and all… then i guess the girls have to prepare themselves.
    it’s so weird… good looking guys doesn’t mean they are gentlemen. they can have perverted intentions too. so, a question to girls that only allow good looking/ handsome/ cute guys to have small gesture while talking to them/ meeting them. does this mean that you are willing to give a more good looking person rape you? without deep thoughts and observations, small gesture can lead to “big” gestures. just be careful with the body language that they are giving.

  108. Ew— Ur face plus David’s face makes u look like some kind of Monkey face. LOL. really… I am NOT kidding. >

  109. now all we can say is that when WE meet kennysia for the first time, feel free to touch him.
    just kidding!=P

  110. I am a malaysian girl studying in UK now and… I dont mind being touch by angmoh ugly or good-looking because this is their custom, and to them touching and hugging is a sincere friendly gesture while some of the asian guys I know will purposely go and hug pretty angmoh and tell their friend that it is ‘syiok’. Therefore till now, I got the feeling that this is not our custom and I still dislike being touch/hug by asian. It is not the ‘look’ factor ^^

  111. Lervie, those Asian guys you bring up are a small minority. You also have to take into account that there are British-Asians as well, who are British in all ways save skin colour. These people (Asian in appearance) also regard touching as a custom to them.
    Furthermore, humans are naturally predisposed to like touch, as evidenced by the natural instinct of babies to reach out and touch those whom they like. Let’s make this clear… Our no-touch society is a product of cultural norms, not our natural human instincts. A large proportion of Asians appear to be tied down by conservative (and possibly religious) mindsets, and perhaps those who have been exposed to a culture where touch is more “normal” get a “consciousness raising”. Eg. They realise that touching is the norm in other countries, and they adapt to it during their 3 or 4 university years there, and become more touch-expressive with their gestures.
    Right now, I get the feeling that you are merely bringing up a strawman argument (eg. certain asian guys hugging on purpose for lecherous intentions) to justify your (probably hollywood-media caused) bias towards caucasians. Its alright to declare yourself an Anglophile. Just don’t be dishonest about it.

  112. rly kenny. u r so farnee. dunt u noe not to touch grls? unless dhey giv u the look dhey dun mind being touch or dhey touch first. N yes guud looking gyes get less flack from gurlies. dat is rly tru double standard

  113. When I was ten, my family went to a certain hotel to meet up with my dad’s Greek friend and his family. Surprisingly, the whole Greek family kissed me on the cheeks. Surely, this is their way of greeting people.
    But the touchy-touchy business doesn’t really make a good start, in my opinion. I’d touch a person once I know her/him well enough.

  114. Many readers left comments like “it is the western culture to touch” and make this issue seem like a cultural thing rather than a person-to-person thing. OK, so does anyone realise that even in your so-called “western culture” there was a time in history where western females can be hang for “indecency” for inappropriate social gesture (physical contacdt with males they are not in a relationship with).
    Then rewind a bit in ancient China and India, there was also a point in time where they were very “open” to physical contact and people starting “whoring” themsleves.
    Just anyhow blame the asian or angmoh culture for our personal mistakes lah.
    Example, that vietnamese Australian who tried to smuggle drugs into Sinagpore claimed cultural reasons as his defence too..and in the end what happened? He was hanged and according to the polls majority of the people both in SG and AUS dont pity him

  115. i’m weirded out. i mean, a light touch on the small of the back is quite normal to me – sure you could lean in after that, make it flirty, but otherwise…
    i think in the usual circumstances it’s completely alright for you to have touched her back, unless you sense that some girls are not comfortable with it – which you didn’t.

  116. Awwh… How can anyone say you’re ugly! Kenny you’re so adorable and good looking!! And I believe you do know how to respect ladies. I understand that sometimes (especially in such a confusingly friendly environment) we tend to be ‘extra’ friendly without being totally conscious about it. I believe you had no negative intention of touching her. Then again, I too will feel uncomfortable if a not-so-close friend touches me. So, just be more alert the next time. I’m sure you’ve learned a very good lesson πŸ˜›

  117. Belle or chicken or whatever name you may used when you are whoring:
    I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It is just that your’s are stupid.
    Btw, kenny, why stop at touching, finger them good πŸ™‚

  118. Morons: Phew, I am so glad YOU think my opinion is stupid. Stupid me rather be stupid & whoring. Stupid & whoring has a lot more dignity than the level you’ve sunk yourself to – you ‘verbal-abuser-asshole-MCP-racist-bigot-fuck-up-loser-parasite-scum-of-the-earth’.
    Finger them? What kind of sicko are you?
    No wonder Malaysia’s not a safe for girls with sickos like you lurking around! Btw, guys like you should be castrated, and the have that small organ fed to the piranhas. Peace.
    *no more comment frm my end, as I have come to a conclusion that arguing with morons may bring me to ‘its’ organismic pea-brain, morally-incapacitated, animalistic level*

  119. whatever it is you do in oz in oz..when in malaysia do as the malaysians do..and if i’m not mistaken your malaysian arent you? don’t be so naive la..and two entries to justify? thats pretty lame your sorries and move on.
    ps. touching ones arm and ones ‘small of the back’ is a BIG difference dude..its like comparing handshakes and assgrabs..

  120. it’s just get worse, if you want to be handsome, exercise la. about the touching issue, lesson is dont simply touch an asian girl in the first meeting coz you might make her feel like you’re hiao or make her fall in luv with u if u r good lookin..haha

  121. heres a tip that will allow you to touch girls anyway you want and wherever you are despite the way you look; flash your cash first.

  122. since u urself accepted this is an imperfect world.
    theoritically, yea… it’s not matter of looks..
    but, naturally we al do.
    ask urself…
    even it is a tradition to hug n kiss on cheek.
    r u more *excited* to hug a hot,sexy girl than ugly fat girl.
    it’s bornt.
    theoritically, it is somewhat superficial for girls to feel happy and steam when touched or ‘grabbed’ by someone like yunho or wuchun, (coz hot guys are not neccesarily good moral),
    but ALL girls do feel excited to be touched by hot guys. horny girls will even touch the guys as u said. (except lesbian or abnormal girls)
    talking bout generic girls.

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