Kuching Traffic Police Is My Best Friend

See, what happened was this.

I was driving to work as usual on a Saturday morning. There I was on Ellis Road, turning into Jalan Lumba Kuda, and BAM! Big mistake.
Kuching traffic police was working hard that day, and when they saw me without my seatbelts on, boy they sure welcome me with open arms. “SHIT!” I thought to myself as I scrambled to fasten my seatbelt.
Too late. They saw me. Car stopped. Windows wound down. Awkward smile. You know, the whole yalah-I-know-I-did-something-wrong-lah-so-quit-torturing-me-and-get-it-over-with-dammit routine.

The traffic police who stopped me was a 30-something year old man who spoke in a strange hybrid of Malay, English and Hokkien. I’ll attempt to recreate them as accurate as possible here.
Police: Lu tau lu buat apa salah ke? [You realised what you did wrong?]
Kenny: Ya.
Police: IC and lesen! [Your identity card and driver’s license!]
I took out the IC from my wallet and handed it over to the police. SHIT! Forgot to bring the driver’s license together with me! Double whammy. Damn suay today.
Police: Mana lesen?! [Where’s your driver’s license?!]
Kenny: Lesen tidur di rumah lah boss. [It’s sleeping at home, sir.]
Police: *gleefully* AH! Dua sudah. [Ah! That’s two offences already.]
Kenny: *sigh*
Police: Tingki!
Kenny: Apa? [What?]
Police: Tingki lah!
Kenny: Apa tu ‘tingki’? [What’s a ‘tingki’?]
Police: Tingki lah! IC lah!
Kenny: Ohhhh! ‘Teng ki’ lah! (Bloody hell, don’t speak Hokkien if you can’t lah you idiot.)

I handed him my IC (aka ‘tingki’) for the second time and the policeman proceeded to jot down my details. I knew I was screwed. RM300 fine for not wearing a seatbelt, and another RM300 for not bringing my driver’s license together with me. RM600 gone just like that.
Police: Lu begitu mesti saman loh. [You, like that, will have to be fined.]
Kenny: ……
Or is it? I could attempt to bribe the policeman with some cash. I’m just not sure if he’s a corruptible cop or a good one. After all, when Badawi become PM one of his objectives was to cut down on corruption, even to the extent of making them wear one of those cute little ‘anti-corruption’ badges.

The words say “I’m anti-corruption”

That is, until it was deemed a fashion faux pas and the police stopped wearing them en masse.
Well, my cop wasn’t wearing an anti-corruption badge so that’s a good sign. But I had to be sure.
The way I look at it, asking a policeman if he accepts bribes is like asking a girl to become your fuck buddy. The result could go either way. You could either get a smashing good deal on your end, or wound up utterly embarrassing yourself in the process.

I didn’t want to make the first move, lest I be prosecuted for attempting to bribe the police. Then I know I’ll be in deep shit. So when he handed me my IC back and I took out my wallet once again, I deliberately flashed the greens and reds. The intention was clear, but nothing too obvious. 😉
Then, the moment of truth happened.
Police: Lu mau kena saman ke? [Do you want to get fined?]
What da heck? You mean I HAVE A CHOICE whether or not I want to get fined?! Hell, of course I don’t wanna pay RM600 in fine.
Kenny: Tak tau! You mau saman saya ke? [I don’t know. Do you wanna fine me?]
Police: I tak minta! [I didn’t ask for it!]
Kenny: Oh, jadi tak apa loh. [Oh, too bad then.] *look away, pretend nothing happens*
Police: !!!
Kenny: 🙂
Police: … lu mau ‘chia’ me kah? [You wanna give me a treat?]
HA! That’s my cue!
Kenny: ‘Chia’ lah. [I’ll treat you.]
Police: Lu ‘chia’ me berapa? [How much you wanna treat me?]
I pulled out three reds from my wallet (RM30) and showed it to him. I think the market rate was RM20, but the policeman was the one who made the first move so I reckon he deserves more.
He saw the RM30 and immediately his face lit up. Coincidentally his friends were all looking the other direction when I passed the notes to him. So smart!
And that is how I contributed to the Policeman Retirement Fund.
He’s happy. I’m happy. Everybody goes home happy. Ahhh… the joys of living in a third world country. 🙂

Happy, quick and correct

Mesra, cepat dan betul. ‘Mesra’ when they see you. ‘Cepat’ pay them, don’t hold up the line ‘cos they have other customers to serve. And don’t argue with them ‘cos no matter how hard you try they’re always ‘betul’.
Do you want to get fined?

The only thing scarier than Tom Cruise jumping hysterically on the sofa on Oprah, is Tom Cruise speaking Mandarin in Mission Impossible 3.
Btw, the Mission Impossible theme song still kicks ass. I’m setting it as my ringtone.

319 Replies to “Kuching Traffic Police Is My Best Friend”

  1. Sigh..so difficult to look for a decent policeman these days… But I guess if he’s a good one, he wouldn’t be a traffic police catching people doing small crimes like this… Probably on a drug busting crime or something already…
    But in the situation described above, who would want to get fined la..

  2. That wasn’t so bad I guess. I remember once when me and my family were heading to the ferry from Sibu: My dad went past a red light, turned to the right where the ferry was and ‘wham!’. Bumped into two police officers. Suay. They asked for some pocket money. The worst thing was, they weren’t even traffic policemen! Wahlao. My dad managed to reason with them and we managed to get out of trouble. And it didn’t happen once. Twice in a row, same place but on another day. Thank God the Rajang Bridge is finally complete. Or else who knows how many others would fall prey to those… MCB guys.

  3. See this is what gives Malaysia such a bad name. The “duit kopi” culture. 1st for pirated copy (or could it be China?) and famous for corrupted government.
    We know it’s wrong but RM30 as opposed to RM300 does sounds tempting.And I guess most people rather save their money than to keep their integrity.Still knowing that giving bribe is wrong, it doesn’t affect most people’s conscience does it?

  4. Wouldn’t this post be risky – providing the people from the anti-corruption agency an excuse to pay you a visit?
    Kesalahan Rasuah
    Menawar/Memberi Rasuah
    Mana-mana orang atau ejen secara rasuah meminta/menerima/ bersetuju menerima suapan rasuah (wang/benda/perkhidmatan dan lain-lain) sebagai dorongan atau upah untuk melakukan atau tidak melakukan apa-apa jua berkenaan transaksi tersebut atau berkenaan dengan urusan rasmi, prinsipal/majikan berkenaan.

  5. LOL, the policemen and the bike look like they’re floating on the road. Photoshop until so obvious lah.

  6. Err.. actually you can choose not to pay the 30 bucks.. you can choose to go to court and get a discount =P Discount can be ridiculously high. And better stil, if you know any big shot in the police station. Just hand him the bill and it will be nullified…. MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!

  7. kenny,
    by posting this, me think you are in for trouble, no? esp. with the photos, ACA will be looking for you.

  8. thats the trouble- people encourage this kind of cops because its suits their pockets-dont forget when you’re in trouble and really need their help-this is the kind of ‘cops” you’ll be complaining about

  9. kenny, you might be wrong to put up the above report as if i am not mistaken, last time a similiar thing happened to a DJ, he got into trouble with the men in black..
    better remove it..

  10. Kenny, i would advice you to take down this post as soon as possible. For all you know some MP or press happen to stumble upon this post and decide to make as an example to all.

  11. Why is most people condemning the police? It’s people like Kenny who is willing to bribe that makes this situation possible.

  12. $30 in exchange for $600…that’s a good deal!!!
    Thumbs up, Kenny….hope polis here also like this….anyway..hardly, they either take photo of u while hiding or have a road chase..haha

  13. Hi Kenny. I don’t mean to preach…but you shoudn’t have done that. We are always complaining that our cops are corrupt and take bribes. Well, we are in the wrong if we bait them in the first place. Don’t give me crap that they made the first move, it takes two to tango and two hands to clap.
    We always complain that Malaysians are like this or like that. Yet we do the exact things that we gripe about and it is us that decides whether the country Improvement has to start somewhere, even if its something small like not littering or not baiting/offering a bribe.

  14. First of all, the normal ‘police check routine’ carried out by the 2 cops are illegal in the first place – that is if the blog entry is true to certain extent.
    A legal police-check should have warnings cones sitting on the roadside to warn and alert all incoming cars and drivers that “A LEGAL POLICE CHECK ROUTINE OPERATION” is happening.
    Secondly, all traffic policemen who is under the checking operation SHOULD wear the official rectified vest with reflective wordings.
    Thirdly, traffic police do not hold official and legal routine check at small street hidden from any eyes view of drivers. All should be clearly made aware of any police activities that is going on.
    Which then leads to the necessary of putting up clear signs on the road before the operation spot informing everyone what is going on.
    Unless, if you are stopped by any of them while on the road, moving, then it is a totally different matters to discuss on.
    Finally, since the Prime Minister had officialy made required that all policemen should wear ‘anti-bribery’ tags, they SHOULD have wore it. Otherwise, they either don’t respect the laws themselves or they are asking for it.

  15. Actually, I don’t think they were doing a valid road block. You should have asked them to pose for pictures so you can put on the internet. I would have asked them to do that.
    fucked up malaysia and its fucked up police.
    yes, we are all citizens of a third world country.

  16. No use saying the police are screwed up. If u traffic offenders don’t do any mistakes, there wont be any summons to pay…Besides, why say accepting bride is a crime but be the one who offers it in the first place?

  17. wa… marry and accept your bride is a crime? (according to SS above).
    Anyways, These cibai policemen and these cibai Malaysians keep on “rasuah”ing and then blame it on someone else. The biggest reason that Malaysian policemen are easy bait for crruption is due to their low income and their laziness as well. Take Singapore as an example, policemen there DO NOT take bribes because they are one of the richest policemen in Asia.
    Malaysia is not only a multi-racist country and is also a very very corrupted country as well. Bringing up those cibai Malaysians to stand on their ground today and pretending to make up stories and sarcastically talk about the government when they themselves are the ones who are offending and breaking the law. Malaysians who doesn’t even drive properlly are the most cibai.
    Police should keep trying and apprehend those cibai fucking ah beng who drive cars with big exhaust or loud radio and pretend that their car is damn fast and wanna race with you when u are waiting for the traffic lights. Those fucking ah beng cars shud all die in an accident and rot in hell.

  18. The photos are obviously fake, you guys are nuts.
    If the cops gonna nab Kenny for the entry, which i doubt so, the most Kenny could dig his wallet for another 30 bucks. Therefore i doubt that is any problem at all

  19. bad kenny. u shud not bribe. jz pay da fuckin 600. u give bloggers a bad image. worse still, u actually post about it. better remove it before the star sees it.

  20. wah…how can like tat one??!!!
    In Singapore, u try do this, u will be in deep shit…
    but u heng to ‘siam’ e fine…
    better wear ur seat belt frm now lor…

  21. wah. thats brilliant! Smart moves~
    saved RM570 lei!
    nothing like this can happen in spore. we will get double fines if we do so!

  22. lucky u!! my friend had to pay RM100 for the same offense in Hartamas… that was all he had and was running low on fuel and the blardy policeman gave him back RM10 to fill petrol.
    From that day onwards whenever he sees a policeman he throws all his RM50 notes under his seat and makes sure that he has some red notes… And yes, u CAN bargain with the policeman to settle as low as RM10 😉

  23. nice post..too bad u couldnt took candid shot while they din notice..or even turn on ur recorder and record the whole conversation… anyway, who ask u dun use safety belts la? hahaha..

  24. at a roadblock in KL (afther zouk hour)..:P
    Encik Polis (EP) : Ada minum?
    Mr.S : Ada
    EP: Brapa gelas?
    Mr.S : Satu je encik.
    EP: Betul satu gelas saja? Ok..tepi, tepi (takes license and directs to roadside)
    EP : So… sekarang encik mau tiup atau tak nak?(??? Tiup??-Sounds more like asking for a BJ!!?? – U actually have a choice to “blow” him or not)
    Mr.S : Saya mau tiup encik (haha..breathalyser lah idiots@!!)..:P
    EP : BETUL U MAU TIUP????…(
    Mr.S : Ya encik. Saya minum satu gelas je. Saya mau tiup.
    EP (AGAIN!!) : BETUL U MAU TIUP????…(give a funny look again- and repeat same Q&A ..
    after 5 mins..suddenly he steps away from the window and put his hand on his hips (cekak pinggang!) and then here comes the bomb….
    MR.S : (Muka selamba dog…)..tapi saya nak tiup juga…:p
    EP: HAIYA…ok..ok..u tiup…
    After blowing hard into the straw (breathalyzer)..he takes a look at the result and ask another bomb…
    EP: U minum apa…??
    MR.S : Er..vodka..
    MR.S : Tapi saya tau saya tak lepas had encik..
    EP: Ini bacaan sudah lebih (takes a look again in to the result)…Lebih sikit…so..u mau settle macam mana??…Lima puluh lah..terus saya bagi jalan….
    MR.S: Tapi kalau lebih, Encik boleh saman dan bawa saya ke balai sekarang.

  25. do you know why msia curruption is so high.. becos there are so many ppl like you!!! if it is ur wrong, accept the fine! and u feel so proud somemore.. sadd….such a bad testimony…feel disappointed on u…

  26. haha, i wont wanna get saman too for not fasten my safety belt. There were once, i back from mamak whicn near my hse, i forgot to on my light. Then get caught by police… after teguh a while… he let me go.. ahha.. without any bribe. was lucky.. keke

  27. Bravo!! Let’s hope no ACA agency guy reads your blog or else he will bring you in for questioning.
    But yup, that’s typical Malaysian Police..bunch of Useless people, on the lookout for bribes but fails to solve the bigger crimes.

  28. ya, Hari Raya time, even worse. One sergeant ask for duit kopi from me inside the station! During fasting season!!

  29. Brother Kenny,
    Bad Bad u!!! Quickly remove or delete this post before u get into trouble!
    And Pyro7 is right! u just spoilt ur own reputation and other bloggers as well, not forgetting our very own Police force!!!

  30. hi kenny. i dont think you should have put this post up. might get in trouble with the ACA. i reckon u’d better delete this posting as soon as possible.!

  31. I had two encounters……
    1st : made an illegal right turn to go up the hill to kuching high school….. they surprised me behind some bushes and using somewhat same tactics….rm30 was enuf to make them happy oso…
    2nd : was in ipoh and was caught using the phone…..this case was different..they had the “saya *heart* anti-rasuah” tag on their uniforms…..but still…in the end…he said, ” if you wanna save urself better make it quick!later i write down summonses too late oredy!” …he was damn hard to bribe…rm30 not enuf =.=” must rm50….

  32. U know, people actually fight to call their lawyers to the police station just to prevent the cops from extracting the statement that you have just made of your own free will above.

  33. Actually it think its quite impossible to actually get into legal trouble due to this post.. no real evidence, for all you know Kenny may have just made up the whole thing..
    can one actually get arrested for a story on a blog?

  34. i wouldn’t have post this up if i were you… you’re committing a crime here… i’ll see you on tv later. 😉 (popparazzi on 12 pm ! )

  35. they want money let them ask 1st…you are lucky being stop by traffic as mine being stop by police patrol car…you can always put some small cash in your pocket so you can gv them less as they really greedy always want for more if they saw big notes in your wallet…pity face important…hehe…

  36. That’s a no no for me.
    Happened to me once and I told them to give me the summons. “Are you sure?” they asked me. “Yes” I told them. Amazing thing happened, they just let me go.

  37. Mesra is not happy, it’s actually friendly
    I don’t think kenny shld remove the post. What Kenny wrote is something that happens everyday throughout the whole Malaysia.
    For those people who disagree with what Kenny do, I’m sure you guys will do just the same thing (minus the S’porean cos the can’t do so) cos RM600!!! compare to RM30 wor…

  38. Kenny,
    I have no right to advice you as I am nothing but I am concerned about you and your blog. Better remove this crime post for your goodness. Otherwise your mum would be worried about you. The best thing is don’t let your late dad down about it albeit maybe it’s trivia but surely he hopes the best for you.

  39. Dude, am not sure what sort of message that you are sending out here. It sure seem like you have proven that we are a bunch of people with third world mentality. Nice going dude.

  40. This is bad, Kenny, it is a bribery. You shouldn’t have done it. How to make Malaysia to become first world country if everyone do the same thing like you? S’pore is first world country, one cannot bribe the policeman, Malaysia is a 3rd world country, one can bribe the policeman. Now, anybody wants to live in a first world country?

  41. You either keep RM570 and give RM30 to the policeman, or.. u pay RM600 to feed corruption in higher ranked police officer.
    Good decision.

  42. Thanks for all the advice guys. 🙂 Don’t worry I wasn’t out of my mind. In fact, I thought about it long before I posted. Heh.
    Well, bribing the police in this country is like buying pirated DVDs. Everyone know it’s happening. Everyone know it’s wrong. But you still do it anyway. It’s the reality here people. This what’s happening out there, so why are you guys denying the truth?

  43. kenny, you shouldn’t have bribed. the cop was wrong. i thought at the end of the post, you’ll settle it in a right way. i was disappointed though.

  44. The photoshop is badly done. The cops look like hanging and the motorbike like toy size in relation to cops!
    Nothing wrong to put in this blog, only something wrong with the “transaction”

  45. Wah lau… are you kidding me?! Blogging abt this in broad daylight. *LOL* Somebody let the PM see this please! It’s like asking for trouble but hell it’s funny! It’s about time someone shows them what been really going on right under their noses, Anti-Rasuah or not.

  46. KENNY!
    GO GO GO!’
    P/S To the rest of the Malaysians that are scared about posting it. You shouldn’t just ignore something and turn a blind eye on it.

  47. I was under the impression that our country is a developing one, not a third world one. -_-”
    If it wasn’t you who blogged about this, i’d be so tempted to call the authorities wei.

  48. I’ve just forwarded this entry to the media. Let’s see whether they’ll act on it.

  49. To those saints who keep saying tat bribing is bad, horrible etc, i was really wondering do you guys never bribe? never buy pirated VCDs? it’s the same! hypocrite.. and there is no way one can get into trouble for posting such a post. tat’s way too ridiculous…no concrete evidence..absurdity~!

  50. kenny, did ur pa bribed kutchin policemen too?
    You seemed like a good, honest kutchin boy but you don’t think like one. Yes, everyone buys pirated cds but how can you compare that with bribin a fellow? It is morally wrong, this conduct you deem is reality. Just some serious reflection here.

  51. oh kenny, you do know that you’re digging your own grave by posting this here, right?
    but entertaining blog entry nonetheless! 😀

  52. DUDE!
    This is SERIOUSLY not a good thing to blog about. Skali-skali the Malaysian version of the FBI (who cant be corrupted btw) show up at your house… then you die….
    As Mr Brown said, “Remember, prison got no broadband”

  53. A word of caution ler Kenny, this *might* get you into a bit of trouble. bribing police, dont play play leh..especially the fact that they dunno who was the police who accepted the bribe..but they do know that you were the one who gave the bribe.

  54. Kenny, it’s bad to bribe the police… Sometimes when you insist that you want a saman, it could get you out of trouble (and save your money as well) because not all traffic polices carry their little books with them. They are just out on the road preying on innocent people.

  55. Malaysian like this, Malaysian like that, first world, third world…
    Truth of the matter is, most of you who admonished the police for soliciting for bribes, woulve settled for giving out the bribe anyway, as in the scenario Kenny put up here, and then after you’re free you go off and tell the whole world about how corrupt the system is! But little do you realize that in a system, there has to be an interaction and unless you have acquiesced to the invitation to bribe, the whole system would not be complete! This is like hiding the hand that cast the stone! If you are preaching morality, well, for one Pirated DVDs or any copyright infringement IS morally wrong, it is NOT a victimless crime, it is where a great deal of corruption and bribery takes place,from KDN to the airport, customs, police etc etc; and another, it is morally your responsibility to report officers who solicit for bribes even at the risk of you being summonsed.
    Aileen, you cannot say you are morally right by rejecting graft and then go off to buy pirated DVD, can you?

  56. If you are in the wrong (in Kenny case) then paying a bribe is always the easy way out…
    In my case..I know I’m not in the wrong..but that bugger keeps intimidating me for some moolah..
    Thanks to me only having RM50 notes in my wallet (which I didn’t want to let him see)..I stood my ground and he let off after like 15 mins bargaining with me..(due to the facts that he had easier victims lining ahead already)..:P..
    mebe they have to attend more “How to Sell” seminars..so they can sell their pitch better..

  57. okay, i’m not sure this is a real or made-up incident for blogging purpose. In any case, rasuah is wrong lah!! No bribing, please, if you want to see our nation progress.

  58. there is once i got caught for entering a one-way street – the other way (blame the dim street light around, me a bit road sign idiot!!)
    P: U tau ini 1-way street?
    K: ye-ke? tak perasan lar..saya sesat, tak pernah masuk jalan ini, street light takde
    P: IC sama lesen
    P: **beepbeep – tolong check ini IC ******** over!..later**beepbeep – yea, yea, ok
    P: Lu masuk 1-way street arah yang salah, ini sudah boleh saman punya. U mau kena saman ka..??
    K: Saman ka? berapa mau bayar saman?
    P: RM 300
    K: Alamak! Haiya, apa mau buat? sudah buat salah.
    P: Apa macam?
    K: sudah buat salah…kalau en baik, maafkan lar saya. Saya tak akan ulang lagi. Kalau en mau saman, terpaksa terima saman lar..sudah buat salah
    P: Saman banyak kerja, u kena pergi jalan bandar (**KL Police Traffic Station – ask all the KL car banger) settle. RM 300, banyak tau
    K: Apa nak buat? sudah buat salah. Kalau boleh, en boleh maafkan saya lar. Kalau mau saman, kena terima lar..(acting like an idiot that know nothing)
    P: Apa macam? Mau saya tolong?
    K: **repeat the same old thing
    and the scene keep repeat for 3-4 times, then the police check with other guy in the car…
    P: OK Lar…lain kali jangan bagi saya nampak u lagi buat salah, kalau tidak i terus saman u. OK?
    K: OK. Thank you ya…
    the dialog is not the actual, but the situation are real. Sometime act stupid may pay off with a green light without any saman. But this will require amateur actor…hahahahaha
    Kenny, we shouldn’t codone bribery. it is bad. really. admit the mistake, pay the price n make sure we don’t repeat it again. And yes, i hate bribery and i have stop buying pirated VCD for years. Why continue to feed the samseng while buying VCD? didn’t you all see the underground/black triad movie especially about HK triad?

  59. Bless the world for third world mentality…wait that didn’t sound right at all. Oh well. Good for you Kenny. Have to be careful eh??

  60. blastmeister, yea I know. I don’t condone bribery either, and yalah I admit I’m a bit of an asshole for not practising what I preach. I never denied that I was at fault myself. I’m not proud of it.
    Listen boys and girls, don’t do what Uncle Kenny did. 😉
    But you know what? If there’s any purpose this entry serve, it’s to show that bribery is indeed easy, well and alive in this city. That’s the reality. I don’t like it, but that is the reality.
    If all these detractors are upset at me for pointing that out, then they can all feel free to continue sleeping in wonderland.
    P/S. The time, date, and road names mentioned in this entry are all fictional and do not actually exist.

  61. thats wat so cool about Malaysian Police compared to the Singapore Police. Here, we pay our saman ONLINE !!! paperless some-more. we got MSC status dudes…. cheers

  62. RM30 dollars!
    damn last time we had to pay the cops RM50 each for the offence.. bintulu police r more greedy than kuching for sure!

  63. Dear Kenny,
    Section 14 of the Anti Corruption Act 1997 reads:
    “Any person who offers to an officer of any public body…any gratification as an inducement or a reward for…the officer showing or forbearing to show any favour or disfavour in his capacity as such officer… shall be guilty of an offence.
    And you have admitted to have committed this offence in a public forum.
    Are you nuts?!

  64. mesra, cepat dan betul. I like the last one. The last time I kept my integrity for running a red light, I spent a nite in the police lock-up. Apparently after pretending not to understand their hints for bribery, they got back at me by charging me with an attempt to run over the police. It would’ve been another 3 days b4 i got out if it weren’t for my friends and family’s persistence in getting me out. Mark those words, ‘they’ are always right!!

  65. Hi Kenny,
    I have been a keen reader of your blog for quite some time. But i absolutely agree with the above visitor, you are implicating yourself directly. Just a suggestion, perhaps you should put a disclaimer on the blog post and state that this is a fictional account based on a true incident.
    I’m sure the powers to be are only too keen to prosecute minor offences and publicize as well as make such cases an example to keep the public’s attention from the real issues affecting the country.
    Do think of the legal implications of what you’re doing.
    That’s my opinion anyway.
    Good luck.

  66. to legislate rm300 for a minor offence,indirectly encouraging bribery.
    speeding ought to be fine rm150 only(speed trap in KL)there’s no balance in the justice system at all.Datuk Chan KC pls help out here tq.
    they should take into account the seriousness of the breach and come up with a more reasonable price for the different road offences.
    note:not always our fault to bribe.

  67. dude, it’s only RM$30 for u..the other time i went to Genting from Spore for holiday, i was stop by the custom…They “fine” me RM$100 for not changing the photos in my passport can…
    I am so piss’d with it man…but i let it go as my friend told mi that how it work …Sigh…
    guess we are just unlucky …

  68. to all wannabe lawyers and moral bigots,
    no, kenny will not go to jail. no, he will not be investigated by the ACA. and no, the police will not come banging down his door.
    there are no legal implications to this blog post. as kenny has said, it is fictional.
    so stop trying to be all that angelic. grow up and face the reality.

  69. Reminder:
    1. You’re admiting to an offence punishable under the law.
    2. You may have an international audience, n by posting this just what are u portraying Msia as to foreign readers? That corruption goes about in msia and n IS an epitome of third world mentality?
    Respect, given by others.
    Shame, brought about by oneself.
    It takes a moment of shame to ruin years of respect.
    Now, nothing can be done to recover the respect(both of you and the country) foregone by your shameful act(both the incident and by blogging it).

  70. My friend, you’ve just opened a can of worms…you’ve just announced your bribery of a police in the WWW!!!

  71. wow. so much controversy over such an irrelevant topic. i don’t see how this can possibly ‘tarnish’ the country’s image as some people seem very adamant on calling it. besides, isn’t your OWN integrity questioned when you chose to hide this to preserve the country’s ‘dignity’? such hypocrisy, it’s making me laugh.
    way to go kenny. and yes, there really is no grounds for anyone taking any action on you, because to do that they’d have to get that cop who allegedly accepted the bribe from you to testify, and God knows he’s not gonna do that. other than that, for all intents and purposes, this could be a hypothetical situation, no?

  72. From what I see, the police were deliberately out there to accept bribes. He was on his job with the intent of earning extra cash by not doing his job. You could’ve just ran off and they wouldn’t bother giving chase, knowing that that’s just a RM30 loss and not an unbroken law charged.

  73. Whats with all you people condemning the people who bribe? RM600.00 is alot of money man, but that’s beside the point.
    Look, the Prime Minister asked all the coppers to wear the badge also they don’t follow. I think that says enough about traffic police and the current social atmosphere. For every person who bribes, there is a person who will rather die than bribe. I think the former is more in existent. You think the corrupt cops will one day wake up and say;
    “Haiya. People don’t give money anymore la. Should just stop being corrupt. Do good job from now on”.
    My ass la people. And i read some stupid comment about third world mentality? it’s called ‘reality’ la.
    YOu heroes want to pay RM600.00 and show your righteousness and never-give in to baddies-attitude, go ahead la. I applaud you.
    Kenny just wants to go to work la. I would bribe erm too.

  74. I agree that Kenny shld put this entry here and not remove it. The police can choose not to be bribe and be firm on his stand. But they chose the other way. What to do? Blame us? The fact that issuing summons also no use. Some people tear it in front of the police, some juz dump it. Like that they dont even recover the summons issued. If us by giving the ‘bonus’ as monthly allowance, they will be more happy what. Their pay are so miserable. Not even enough for me to go partying, shopping and etc… We are giving them a better life… Who does not agree? Their pay is juz nt enough.
    Well, in Jb, cars of different ranges bribe is different amount.
    Protons can get away with Rm 50, Honda CRV around RM 70, BMW, Mercedes all the sport cars or even singapore cars will be at least RM 100, or maybe at least S$50. Try flying on the NS Highway u may meet the friendly policeman coming after you for some side income to cover his expenses.

  75. wake up human who told u no brondband in prision if u got money than u can have it, now so high tech go fo wireless.

  76. amalan rasuah budaya kita…hahahaha…bribery is WRONG man,but if we thought back,we can save alot of $money$ wor…u wanna pay $30 or ‘samban’?

  77. Hello blogger mr.Kenny,
    I love this post very much!
    Instead, I would like to tell u bout’ my incident too which was caught by police too.
    It’s around KL and my friends was driving in a rush.
    No seatbelts, No license, No IC….
    Bam!!!! Kena!
    The worst part was that she even didn’t bring her purse.
    The police who was wearing a BIG BIG ” I anti-RaSuah” circle badge and asked,”Mau chia me Kopi o?”
    My friend then asked me to pull out 3 reds for him.
    Wonder why all they love to drink Kopi O…

  78. There’s nothing wrong with this post. In Kenny’s defense he could say farbrication of infomation for intent of humor. There’s no evidence of the real cop, the time, etc. This is minor compared to the political satire Kenny has made on various Malaysian political figures. But one thing for sure, its defamation for the Malaysian police department. Heck cares anyway. Cheers.

  79. kenny,
    the keyword is “tolong lah…”
    they would understand this classic word i assure you.Otherwise,adresss them as “cikgu”.

  80. Real life situation narrated to me:
    In the streets of Jakarta, a Malaysian lawyer boards a taxi. The taxi driver drives into a road with a sign that says “no entry”.
    Lawyer: Pak, itu no entry pak. Mana bisa masuk?
    Taxi driver: Bisa Pak.
    Taxi approaches a traffic police who notices them. Taxi driver makes a sharp u-turn and yells out of the window and makes a ‘sawadee-kha’ gesture and yells: Ampun Pak!!! and flees.
    Maybe we can try that here one day or we could emulate the MP for Jasin and ask the police to tutup sebelah mata.

  81. i did it once before…didn’t feel good afterward..nowadays rather accept the ticket..it is more ethical to pay for your errs rathen than to be a catalyst of corruptions. Dissapointed with you 🙁 …but u sure got guts to post that up!!

  82. This is something everyone knows and everyone who gets pulled over does but no one really talks about.
    A friend of a friend once got in a pretty bad accident and paid the cop RM50 and the cop wrote his “official accident report” in his own words so that it appeared the guy who was speeding and drunk and careless didn’t get into any trouble whatsoever.
    Another friend of a friend who was a total idiot (and ah beng type) new to kuching and never got pulled over before. the inevitable happended one day and he remembered bribery. He pulled out RM50 and talked super loud “this much enough for you o not?! take it and leave me alone! i’m in a hurry!” Naturally he was very pissed off when the officer actually wrote him out a hefty fine! Idiot has no tact.
    And Kenny… I truely hope you come out of this in one piece. We’ll see what happens in the days to come. While it’s funny to talk and brag about this… it’s also a taboo topic… especially with as much exposure as you get at top blogger… be careful.

  83. lol. once my bf CUT double line, forgot to bring driving license and even IC…but no saman wor..lol..cuz he’s good in acting 😀

  84. Are you sure you wanna take the risk of posting this up here? Your blog is getting really popular. Anybody could be reading this. Perhaps some smart ass enforcement fella might add to your trouble.

  85. it’s easy to know which cops are bribable- they wear ‘anti rasuah’ badges!
    The irony is dumbfounding.

  86. Haiya…kenny can say watever he wants and he simply created the whole story jus fun or to see the public response, i m sure he get out from the trouble lar! No nd 2 waste ur time to sd letter to da authorities lar! Jus enjoy da blog,k?!

  87. Yes this happens to lots of people, and I have yet to find someone who refused to pay a bribe… It is a sad reflection on Malaysia, but the truth.
    Don’t remove the post: we all know that this is purely fiction that you pulled out of a hat for our entertainment.

  88. *laugh* this is one reason I love living in KL … heheh .. and I love it how he mixed up all those languages! Cultural melting pot for sure!!

  89. Come on, give Kenny a break here. He has BRAINS you know… you telling kenny what or what he should not do… he is not a small kid, ok and he knows what he’s stirring up here.
    Anyway, not only he has brains, he has BALLS too – we Malaysians who still believe in the right thing and not be beaten into submission because of ACAlah, this lah, that lah, should give our respect to Kenny for blogging this.
    Anyway, this is fact of life in Malaysia… we have grown so used to it that we don’t blink an eye to all this – however, this is exactly what’s wrong with Malaysia and this is slowly but surely “killing” ourselves in the long term. Look at all the crap that is being done as a result of bribery and cronyism….

  90. haha i usually just speak a lot of fast english and hand him a new york license lol
    they usually say ok go go

  91. I can’t be arsed to read through all the comments but Kenny has my support by posting this.
    True, what Kenny did is wrong but what the cop did was worse. The cop is the greater of the two evils here.
    I don’t get why some of you blame Kenny? The cop offered the easy way out, Kenny took it. Out of 1000 Kuchingites in the same situation, how many do you think would choose not to pay and instead, waste their time and their 600 bucks going back and forth from Simpang 3?
    I’ll tell you right now, I’d pay 30 bucks and save myself a hell lot of trouble. Bad attitude? Probably but my time is worth more than money. If 30 bucks can save me time, I’ll pay that instead of 600 bucks any day.
    And even worse, some of you commenters are telling him to take this post down for whatever reason. THAT is taboo numero uno in blogging. After all, no one goes to other people’s houses and asks them to take down an “offensive” decoration now do they?
    Disagree and argue all you want, but don’t ask people to take down their blog posts. That’s just rude.
    And no, worrying about him is no excuse.

  92. One more thing, somebody quoted this just now:-
    “Any person who offers to an officer of any public body…any gratification as an inducement or a reward for…the officer showing or forbearing to show any favour or disfavour in his capacity as such officer… shall be guilty of an offence.
    In this scenario, who offered who?
    Remember, don’t shoot the messenger people. I’m reading more comments and feeling increasingly distressed that not enough people are disparaging the REAL villain! Why is no one getting pissed off at the cop!? Yes, he who made the initial OFFER.
    For those who missed it, this was the offer :- “Lu mau kena saman ke?”
    Now, ask yourself, why would an honest cop ask that kind of question?

  93. The moral of this story…
    seriously…i dun doubt ur driving skill…but imagine if there’s an accident (choi choi choi)…that click of ur seatbelt could save u more than RM570 leh
    Side note:
    I dun get our system…it’s getting more and more absurd…ISA won’t bust Kenny..if they do, they’re admitting the fundamental flaws of their own system…
    I know its (rasuah) bad…u know its bad…big bad Kenny knows too…but if I’m in his shoes I might take that chance…hassle free
    What Kenny did was portraying the facts in our country from his perspective (u can get better feel of this from other avid bloggers ie Mr Kit *ahem*)…
    Well..atleast u dun c this in ur normal newspapers…
    So yeah…those “anti-rasuah” idealists…can start forming a group to catch those bad cops xD

  94. my pa said when the policeman puts his leg on your vehicle’s tyre, that means he’s looking for ‘kopi-o’

  95. Oh Kenny,
    I am afraid you may have to leave your coconut outside the prison’s gate. Anyway, if I come to Kuching, I will bring your some coconut juice.

  96. kenny, they cant fine u for not wearing seatbeat.
    I used to bribe them whenevr they caught me not wearing seatbelt, until my frn told me that it’s their job to WARN u, not fine you.
    so once when i kena caught again, the police hinted that i shld bribe him la. i asked him to saman me! must be garang! hehee.then afterthat he let me go. coz he cant do anything if u dun wear seatbelt one la..

  97. You crack me up, my friend. You – the guy who claims ‘Patriotism Misunderstood’ was one of your best articles. The same article in which you said stuffs like:
    “There are a lot of things not right about our country. ‘Efficient’ government departments, ‘zero’ corruption……..”
    “Are we saying that we should accept handbag-snatchers, dirty streets and crazy-ass traffic officers seeking a contribution to their retirement fund as the norm? Of course not.”
    “We should NEVER condone corruption as part of the Malaysian culture.”
    When your friend, F wrote that thing so many moons ago, and I said that Malaysians don’t seem to be able to accept and understand flaws for many reasons, you questioned “Why should we?”
    You see, corruption is never a good thing. I do not like it, but I accept and I understand it. We don’t pay our cops enough, which is why they resort to corruption. We place ethics far below our priority list compared to money, which is why we choose to pay them off. I tell myself – the least I can do is not partake in it. If I make a mistake, I pay the piper.
    You, on the other hand chose to say that we should NOT ACCEPT this, no matter what.
    Funny then, you should come up with stuffs like this now.

  98. omg… i cant believe how corrupt our nation has become. im not refering to the police. im refering to the people who are reading this and agreeing to it!!! its disgusting. bribary is SO SO SO wrong. it eats up your contions!!! i feel like vomiting. i know many people will hate me for going against the crowd but i truly believe that we should not fuel this sort of actions…
    only in asian countries will you find such sort of activities done so openly. im not saying that the western are superior, but im just saying that its horrible of us to just let things like this happen.
    anyway, a few friends, my family members and i been stopped before. all of us did not give any bribes and guess what… he werent saman at all!!! fella more worried that you report him…
    all i said was that my religion does not allow him… good enough to scare him.

  99. lol! give the police in that pic some shadows…they look like freakin ghosts…
    anyway, entertaining as always. you might want to use a hypothetical situation, like “…a ‘friend’ bribed a cop today…”, u know. just sayin.

  100. haih…makes me think why when i was younger i didn’t say something like this:
    Teacher : What do you want to be when you grow up?
    Me: Traffic policeman
    Teacher : Why?
    Me: Bcoz u can become richer from the bribes you can get
    I bet the teacher would’ve fainted

  101. My experience: 1 year ago, still a “P” driver.
    paid RM40 bucks for a u-turn at bangsa…
    after showing ic…
    police: u tau tak, tak boleh u-turn dekat dati sana?
    me: tapi tak ada sign larang u-turn juga?
    [as usual, shouldn’t question when got caught in M’sia]
    police: bila tiada sign~, tak boleh u-turn lah~! tak baca buku undang-undang ke?
    [I dun remember that’s such a rule? do u?(pls lemme noe)]
    me: so macam mana?
    police: u nak macam mana??
    [hmm… hahaha]
    me: bagi chance la! saya student!
    police: so macam mana? [hmm… luring me to offer the bribes]
    me: ada student price a? kami [me and my fren] ada RM20 saja
    police: *grin + as like it was humor* RM20??!! kami dua orang polis!
    me: kami student ma… ok la, RM40…
    police: *considering for +- 10 seconds* ok la ok la…. lain kali lebih sikit huh!
    Wat the….

  102. My lecturer’s husband kena the best line from a police that should’ve picked up an Oscar. He was on his handphone while driving and this cop walked to him and asked
    “Hello, mau jadi kawan tak?”

  103. kenny, you should put a disclaimer on your heading : ‘some blog entries are works of complete fiction and should not be taken seriously’. this will keep you out of trouble and let you continue blogging freely. dont take unecessary risks and keep up the good work.

  104. I was stopped by traffic police a few times for talking on the handphone while driving. I got the same hint (lu mau kena saman kah?) and the officers always took their time asking for you IC and Driving Licence and chit-chatting with you. I knew they were asking for bribes but I wasn’t going to give them any. I knew I was in the wrong and so I kept quiet and waited for them to write up the saman. They kept hinting but I just kept quiet. In the end, they let me go (ini kali warning ah. Lain kali betul betul saman).

  105. Bribing a police officer is definitely a bigger crime than not fastening seat belt.. and u are openly stating this?
    May I tell u that “Prison has no broadband?”

  106. there was once i was chatting on the phone while driving near bukit bintang.
    1 traffic police stopped me.
    he said he wants to ‘tolong'(help) me.
    after the usual ‘macamana mau settle’ thing
    i told him i only got rm15 in my wallet(its true).
    he told me that was too little.
    i told him i could go to the atm and draw more.
    he said “tak mau lah. nanti jadi lain cerita pulak”
    after much haggling, and he knows that there really is only rm15 in my wallet, he said “oklah, tolong awak lah”, took the rm15 and left.

  107. That’s why i am proud to be a Malaysian. Win-Win situation. Driver offers bribe, Traffic accepts bribe, Driver and Traffic become buddies. That’s the true meaning for RAKAN COP.

  108. Hey Dude, true story. A friend of a friend is a Tua Kao in Cat city’s polis HQ. One night they put a drunk Indian guy in jail, this guys has USD 4K in his wallet.The next day, this poor guys found out his USD4K has turned into RM4K. Someone took the USD and exchanged it to RM…as far as the record goes, he got in with 4K and released with all the 4K.

  109. The fact that everybody knows it’s happening doesn’t make it right to do it. I remember you wrote a post about Malaysia a few months ago. How do you connect that post and this? C’mon man, Malaysia is our home (despite what ‘umnoputras’ might say), let’s keep it clean.

  110. Not wearing seatbelt is RM300, not bringing license is RM70 if not mistaken. Why police are taking bribes? My 2 cents is low salary, tough job, lots of politics, now ham cheng bo ho, hard to rise in ranks. What to do?

  111. KENNY IS A BRIBER! Thats so lame, you didnt wear seat belts and didnt your licence which both are required by law. What is so hard about putting on the safety belts? Your invincible and would never be involved in an accident isit? Dont you value your life?

  112. I okay, im an idiot.. .for spelling idiot as idoit. If you made an offence, admit it and PAY THE SAMAN. BRIBERY SUX!
    I dont bribe! I dont buy pirated DVD’s! I go Cinema and watch them movies.

  113. hey kenny, the fact that you intended to bribe is a crime itself. Unless you want to share a cell mate that wants you as a love buddy…. i think you should remove the post and report to ACA accordingly. I don’t think you’ve heard what happened to Patrick Teoh when he tried to air his grievance on air. Trust me..I don’t think you want the hassle.

  114. Quote “You seemed like a good, honest kutchin boy but you don’t think like one. Yes, everyone buys pirated cds but how can you compare that with bribin a fellow? It is morally wrong, this conduct you deem is reality. Just some serious reflection here.”
    Does anyone else see the irony in that? So its yay ok to buy pirated vcds and deprive artistes of their earnings but its not ok to save yourself 600rm? You have issues dude lol. The next time everyone who condemned kenny encounters the same situation, please let us know you decided to pay 600 instead of 30 lol. I salute you then hahaha *rolls eyes*

  115. Catizen, who cares about morality these days, really. No one cares. NO ONE!
    Ahem, well, thanx for the bribing tips, Kenny. Pretty enlightening.

  116. hi kenny,
    Take my suggestion, i did recommend u to remove your post on this. indeed you may escape the getting jail, but trust me bro…. the ACA can do all their best to cause inconvenience to you. They can just call u to balai for some coffee, minus laptop and broadband. Believe me, even if they do have the evidence on authenticity of the post, it sure gonna be a hassle for you. All this shitz been all along ever since merdeka. everyone knows it, Mahathir, Pak Lah,The Star, NST even the “big Dog”. But think about it kenny, when everyone knows with some heroes tried to air their grievance and just be rewarded for jail. Is it worth it to be the another hero? I bet your late dad will be freaking worry if he knows about it too.
    Anyway, if ur screwed…….REMEMBER TO POST how the coffee taste in ACA in the conventional Kennysia style. Ok? Take Care, and i hope you will sincerely think of the consequences…:P

  117. there is a seatbelt law for a reason. if you don’t want to protect yourself, no amount of bribe or fine money can protect you.

  118. there is a seatbelt law for a reason. If you don’t want to protect yourself, no amount of bribe/fine money can protect you.

  119. heh. no seatbelt, if injured, maybe we can also bribe our way out of death?
    imagine this
    Death: oi you know you no pakai seatbelt?
    you: 🙁
    death: how? you wanna die? die very troublesome one wor, have to buy coffin, funeral
    you: so how? first time la.
    death: veli easy only one. chia me then i let you go.

  120. i think you have slightly crossed the line this time.. being a high profile blogger, i worry for you. It will get out of control once any local newspaper start getting excerpt from your blog. Police would not want to lose face. Careful.

  121. since you’re here, i going to share

    DATE: **-April-2006
    Time: Working hour
    Mangsa: Muthu
    Pemangsa: Cilaka with ” Saya Nanti Rasuah” tags’
    Location: Roundabout nearby Summit. USJ

    i was on the way to Summit and passed by the Roundabout. i noticed an indian spy hiding under the bridge. during that time i found myself without belt.

    A cilaka block me and asked me for license.
    Cilaka: you tau ape salah kar?
    Dude: apa salah?
    Cilaka:tiade ikat belt?
    dude: i baru tanggal mar!!
    Cilaka point to wireless radio. he played the clip for me.
    cilaka: ape u mau cakap lagi? jgnlar tipu?
    Dude: i takde tipu..lar.. abang~
    Cilaka: sekarang macam mane??
    dude: gua takde idea lar..
    Cilaka: u mau settle macam mane?
    dude:20 boleh?
    Dude: abang, kurang sikit, boleh arr? cari makan sama sama..
    Cilaka: takboleh lar.. tadi lu cakap 20, mesti lar 20..
    i piecked 20 and pass to him.
    Cilaka: hey, tolong lipat boleh arr? semua orang nampak ohh~~.

  122. Kenny you’re such a dum dum. Even if the story if fictional you could be liable for libel/defamation.
    Whatever it is, the cops can cause you a lot of trouble because you’re publicly tainting their image even with a fictional article.
    You can argue all you want about them not being able to prosecute you, but before you can defend yourself in court, they’ll probably have taught you a lesson in the lock up already.

  123. kenny u did a great job for posting this entry, but the fact that u actually bribed the cop, even though he asked for it, as a responsible citizen ( i assume u really love malaysia), u shouldn’t bribe him. cos u did offend the law for not putting on ur seatbelt (u’re actually risking ur own life) n for not bringing ur ‘lesen’. i know 600 bucks is big, but its also ur responsibility. be a good role model, dont do it next time la… u know la got many youngsters look up to u. wat if someone said: kenny can do it, i also can! then down la… 😛

  124. A very very enlightening post about my country of citizenship – thanks Kenny! I must admit I wouldn’t have the balls (and lack of brains :P) to post something up like this. To all you guys saying Kenny shouldn’t do this, I wonder if you would actually follow what you preach. RM30 as opposed to RM600. It’s a no-brainer. Yes, we shouldn’t on principal… but can you actually say you won’t do it in the situation? Besides, Kenny’s offences weren’t that bad. Didn’t put on a seatbelt? He’s risking his own life, not others. No drivers’ license? Again, not endangering others. Speeding and especially drink driving however…
    And kennydumdum, isn’t defamation by definition, asserting a false allegation is TRUE? So if Kenny says the work is fictional, he’s saying (part or all of) it is NOT TRUE.

  125. I seriously don’t think Kenny has done anything wrong by putting up such article. People have been saying that he’s potraying such a bad image for M’sia, bla…bla.. but in fact what has he done wrong? It was the cop who 1st asked him on whether he’d ‘chia’ him or not, not the other way round. If a person is guilty by just merely flashing the reds and greens, the Sg Buloh prison would be spaceless now.
    At last, like the Chinese old proverb says, “If the cow doesn’t wanna drink water, no matter how hard one pushes, the cow’s head would go down”.
    P/S: Keep it up Kenny!!!

  126. Nutkraker and ecstacy, sorry for the misunderstandin. I know that both buyin pirated dvds and bribin are wrong. What I was implyin was that the gravitas of bribin is heavier as compared to buyin pirated dvds. In kenny’s case, he bribed a policeman, who is a law enforcer, whereas the vendor sellin pirated dvds is an ordinary man.

  127. we have xiaxue in singapore promoting Racsim.
    now we have kennysia promoting bribery in malaysia.
    whats next? joi ito promoting Global Hacking?

  128. why are ppl condemning this post? the man himself is not worried about it. stop telling him to take it down. even if he is not the one writing such story, there will be other ppl. even if it not in writing, it can be done by talking to other ppl – hence when u r leaving overseas, there always stories to tell the ppl. it is the norm. face the truth.

  129. Eh, it’s actually you in that 3rd picture rite?
    Your ‘puffed-up-chest-because-I’m-taking-photo’ too recognizable liao lah :D!
    Haha, whatever it is, dun try that in Singapore ah….

  130. “If only we have the same thing in Singapore!! But no, police here are overzealous shitheads..”
    Hey Alex,
    I think the only SHITHEAD in Spore is you.If they could actually make money this way, imagine the number of ‘unplanned’ & ‘unbudgeted’ stops per journey you’d have to make just so that they can have their kopi money for the day. I’m neutral on the subject of the Spore police, but I think I speak up for the majority that wishing Spore had a corrupted police force is just so damn idiotic.

  131. i would not have taken your money. i would have made u stand next to your car, hands above your head, and spread your legs.

  132. kenny,its better if you remove this post asap.i heard people talking something really bad bout this huge blogging shit u post.Think bout the risk bro..

  133. A Singaporean went to see a Hooker. He asked the Hooker, how much? The Hooker says for $50, you can have me on the bed. For $25 you can do it to me on the sofa. For $10 you can pump me on the grass. The Singaporean made his decision and forked out $50 and handed it to the Hooker. Wah!!! you got class man!. Class my ass – I want to do it 5 times on the grass.

  134. Why should this article be shocking to anybody. I set aside 60 ringgits a month in my car to bribe the policemen who always seem to spring up in the most unlikely places to fine you for not putting on seat belt or putting on light etc. Now I understand what is meant by Malaysia BOLEH, Boleh Rusuah that is Ha Ha. I have no respect for the police in Malaysia they are cowardy, greedy and corrupted. If you inform them of any crimes, they will turn up only after they are sure that the perpetuators have left. What a laugh.

  135. @ Pride-Red : if it makes you feel better. The person who does not repect the law believes that they are beyond the law. Law of the country or law of man(laws of god). they see themselves beyond others. They belive in no believe systems, no morals, as we kuching local hokkiens says, BO KA SI (not taught properly).
    Seat belts are there for a reason. You wanna die die lar.. But then if you hit someone else? Who going to pay for their losses as you have died and gone to hell? How about those you leave behind? Then again who cares, you didnt, Im sure no one would care about you too 😛
    Kenny, go find the officer and say “Sorry cikgu, I need my RM30 back, please exchange for my RM 600 saman.”.
    I have no doubt a LARGE majority of the officers take bribes, but it also depends on situations. In kenny’s you should have just decline to give any monitory offerings.
    You all sux, support bribery. WHy dont you go support the MOVEMENT TOWARDS A BETTER POLICE FORCE? http://www.petitiononline.com/betterpf/

  136. go kenny! please lar hor. if tangkap oso, the policeman made the move. not kenny. 😛
    ACA should go for the cops, not us!

  137. never thought you will be so proud of sharing your bribery skill kenny 🙂 good one! that’s what i call a truly typical malaysian.. talk kok.. complain about this and that….but no action. keep talk kok yeah!

  138. lol kenny…
    i can’t believe this post caused so much controversy…
    honestly, I just thought its very funny…;p
    But,hey,do respect u for blogging what u want…afterall, its no fun blogging when there’s too much restrictions…^_^
    do hope everything smooooths its way out…

  139. As much as I admire your balls to publish the incident (fictional or non-fictional) and deeply love your blog, I have to tell you that I do not condone bribery.
    Anyways, my advice to you. Delete this post. It might be use to intimidate you when the cops wanna cari pasal.

  140. I am embarassed by all the posts saying that RM 600 > RM 30. You guys all DESERVE the over-cost, corruption-laden projects in Malaysia. Next time you complain about the government, remember that YOU are the main culprit.
    The main problem in Malaysia is enforcement. That is why we have stupid things like a high accident rate, iron anvils that fall on peoples cars, etc. If you want to stop this, you have to ensure enforcement and part of that is to ensure people feel the PAIN when they break the law. Our current culture of corruption ensures that we’ll continue to be a developing country for a long time to come.
    For the record, I’ve never bribed any policemen and have always paid up all my fines (albeit with appeal). You know what? I’m a safer driver as a result. Once I lose RM 300 over a mistake, I rarely repeat it again.

  141. 200+ messages, oh yeah, let me contribute one more piece of comment.
    1. You have my (moral) support, Kenny!
    2. Let him post whatever he wants la, it is hilarious you gotta admit it, esp the Polis: !!! Kenny: 🙂 part. If he kena lockup, sorry la…that shows how lame the system is by catching this small fries and make it big news. If the cops wanna cari pasal, Kenny will just post another blog on cops cari pasal…hopefully not from the cell :-P. I think other higher profile blogger that will kantoi first than Kanny.
    3. And those people out there, whether you condone piracy/bribery/whatever or not, you dont have to shout it out loud in the public, like “DUde, I am a saint, cant you see my halo!” Just do your good and go play far far la…or you can start blowing up in your blog how you helped an old amah cross the road or how you save a cat from longkang besar and report to your class teacher for merit certificate. BTW, I just hope you left hand is in the right place as you speak.
    4. And to aileen, you logic is like 1 + 1 = 3; it doesnt make sense.

  142. nothing will come of the post de… look at Hui Bin (another s’wak blogger)… posting drugs and what not, defacing his traffic saman… it even made The Star newspaper… no problem also… still posting about 1001 ways to get high…

  143. this post is cool! 🙂
    at least it shows d typical malaysian way of life…
    though i find it rather unreal that there are actually SO MANY ppl who actually whole-heartedly support the anti-corruption move.
    sigh, lamblasting kenny while hiding behind an anonymous nick (or some stupid madeup nick) is just another lame way of fuelling the flames/making yourself feel good coz u’re feeling damn pissed at urself & need 2 behave like some saint 2 make amends for ur f*ckup…
    my suggestion: ppl who don’t agreee with kenny’s posts should boycott this site. translation: if u don’t agree, don’t read, don’t post comments, don’t keep checking d comment box 2 c hw many ppl responded 2 ur stupid comment, don’t feel sad cz ppl r flaming ur stupid comment.
    cheers kenny! 🙂
    cheers 2 all readers too!

  144. I like this entry.
    This is what this world is all abt… except whetehr u chose to see it or not…

  145. I like this entry.
    This is what this world is all abt… except whether u chose to see it or not…

  146. Yes!! MI3 Rocks! Maggie Q was absolutely stunning in that red dress! And the car, *smooch* fabulous!
    And yes, I agree his Mandarin sucks! I didn’t even know he was speaking Mandarin until my friend pointed it out. 🙁
    I’m no Mandarin speaker myself, but I know what it is when I hear it.

  147. I am — struggling to think of what to say.
    I’ll like to believe that Malaysia is a decent place where the people struggle towards a better community, etc all that rot. I’ll like to believe Malaysians are a good sort. I know the reality is far from that.
    But it never stops disturbing me, that sometimes people just want the easy way out of things. Even if it is wrong.
    To me, you’ve always juz been: juz a blogger. Your opinions are your own, no one sways that. But I dunno, mebbe I’ve also always thought you were something Malaysia could be proud of.

  148. While it’s true that the police are corrupted, and that it’s so easy to bribe them, don’t you think that what you did doesn’t do any good in helping the police force become more ethical? All you just did was encourage them to keep on being corrupt, because they know that “good citizens” like you won’t squeal on them, and will always still keep on breaking traffic rules, and hence provide them with more avenues for fining you and receiveing bribes?
    Do you really want to change the nation for the better? Sure this isn’t Perth, and it still has a long way to go ethically. But unless individual citizens like you and me take the first step by refusing to be corrupt, and refusing to hold on to that third world mentality, how will this country ever progress?
    I’m not flaming you or anything. This is just my honest to goodness view. And to everyone else who are egging him on, as humourous as this post is, I sincerely hope you’re not one of those people who complain like hell about our beloved gamen and their koncho-konchos, because if you’re contributing to it, you’re just as much to blame.
    And to digress a bit, Kenny, I know your site is often the target of trolls and whatsuch, and I understand how hard it is to voice an opinion without getting shot down nowadays. But, there will be people who’ll always disagree with you (like me on this post). If you’re damn sure of what you stand for, even down to the slightest bit, then that’s all that matters. That’s because you know what you believe in, and can thus choose to accept or reject different views, because your ethical spine is strong enough to make such discernment.

  149. It’s true. The cops can just make a call to their counterparts, and Vola! , the summon is nullified.
    It happened during one car accident, the sergeant told my fren that he could negotiate a cheaper price for my fren, ie from RM300 to RM200 (coz it was my fren’s wrong, and he must be issued a summon). And what he did was only to call his cop fren somewhere, then it’s settled. Well where did the RM200 go? Is this considered bribing? Or is it considered to be a payment on behalf?

  150. There’s one time i made an illegal u-turn at the traffic light while i’m on my way to work, din notice a traffic police is waiting there. he stopped me n did his JOB as usual. n suay bei suay, my wallet got only one piece of 50 bucks. that is too costly for the normal rate that time lah. so he asked me to go feed petrol n come back with the change. if u dun come back, i submit the summon form, cos he has jot down my driving licence details.

  151. good one kenny…for malaysian always think is da income they getting make them act like this…but for da fact wake up ppl!! today u give then a rize of 2000 per person also they will still do wat they do best cause…IS A WAY OF LIVING IN MALAYSIA AND NOBODY CAN DENIED IT…take EXAMPLE for sahlil resignation and u noe y….?? so dun even think is da salary factor or watever bullshit..and admit it there is a flaw in da system and someone will eventually cover da ass…so here wanna stress some…NO MATTER HOW GOOD U PRETEND OR NOT PRETEND TO BE….THINGS WILL STILL BE DA SAME…cause THIS is MALAYSIA AFTER ALL….2020 VISION….MY ASS…

  152. pls for everyone’s sake delete this post. you are not doing anyone any favours. i’m sure u can think of some other interesting stuff to write about… its election time after all. certainly not doing anyone any good. think before u post… otherwise don’t…

  153. socialite, favours? 🙂 What favours? You’re not doing me a favour by waltzing into here and asking me to take off whatever entry you don’t like.
    I mean, I didn’t walk into your room and tell you to take away the desk or carpet because I don’t like their colours.

  154. Who would be stewpid enough to pay over 600 bucks? Use common sense oi! Good or bad, no one cares. As long as we saved a whole lot of money.
    Please keep this entry, Kenny. Just to show that Malaysian police is as bad as many had said.

  155. Thanks for all the hate messages, guys. 🙂 Don’t worry, unlike the Sarong Party Girl thing I wasn’t crazy when I posted that up. Haha.
    The motivation behind me posting something like that is clear.
    It is very easy for the policeman to give me a proper summon. It is very easy for the policeman to ignore the lure of money. It is very easy for him tell me to put the notes back in my wallet and do whatever he deems necessary within his and my rights to take action against me and I would understand it and gladly accept my punishment.
    The fact that that did not happen shows that our PM is still far from realizing his ideals. The whole ‘Anti Rasuah’ campaign didn’t quite meet it’s target. And that’s the message I was trying to send across.
    You can’t blame the burglar for breaking into your house if you don’t lock your doors properly.
    I’m not saying that it’s the RIGHT thing to do what I did. I’m just saying it’s EASY, very easy to do what I did. Because ever since I got my driver’s license 7 years ago I was never issued a proper summon for all the minor traffic offences that I’ve made. That says a lot about the attitude and climate over here.
    And yes, considering that, I think it is very much a worthwhile topic to blog about.
    Thank you.

  156. As much as I disagree with your methods, yup, a point has been made. And a very good one at that.
    Now the question is, do we all do something about it, rather than continue bitching without lifting a finger?

  157. You know, the problem with blogs is that, that is exactly the problem. A powerful tool for communal discussion that evades total and complete clampdown? Yes. Something that spurs people to act? The hell no. (Not yet anyway, and if the only people reading blogs are the nerdy-type rather than the activist-type … then nothing will EVER happen to change things for the better.) So logically, the world will not become better – the world hasn’t changed from the past. We still can’t (won’t … don’t) do anything about corruption, or how the Parliament diverts attention away from the issue at hand by focussing on another issue, or how Amir Muhammad’s semi-musical documentary is said to be banned becoz of ‘public complaints’ when there aren’t any apparent (legitimate) complaints surfacing so far, and so on and so forth.

  158. oh ho… u r such a bad influence to ppl la.. if u do that, it’s like mengalakkan people to rasuah even more…

  159. lol…Kenny, I’ve been reading your blogs and honestly, you gave me quite some inspirations to write a few.
    I’m unable to write some good ones at the moment but hey, you’re really one hell of a good blogger…but honestly…i’m not sure whether our mesra-like police are doing us good or bad….well, your case was good lar….once, i was left with RM20 in my wallet and the policeman was ok with RM10. basket…cheap arse….

  160. It is easy to fasten ur seat belt before u start to drive. It is easy to bring along ur license everywhere. It is easy to just get the saman fro mthe police. It is easy to pay the saman. It is easy to reveal the happenings between you and the police.
    Is it easy to make sure that all the malaysians learnt from the kempen anti-rasuah when the one who is capable to come out with ways to decrease corruption can actually only telling how easy it is to bribe.
    But i think this post is actually do nothing more than what the kempen did except for getting hate msgs from the public.
    I do not know what is the effective way either. Sentence the one who bribe or receive bribe to death? Maybe…

  161. GIVE ICAC the HIGHEST AUTHORITY LIKE singapore and hong kong do……AND I CAN ASSURE U everything will turn out SMOOTH…BUT…….WAT IS DA FACT??……U NOE I NOE NO NEED TO SAY…

  162. dude, ur a legend man
    the police will thank you for giving them their kopi money. u are such a national do gooder example.
    police in malaysia are poorly paid. that means, their infringments are negotiable instruments.

  163. Malaysia is classified as a developing nation amidst many South East Asian countries that are least developed. Hence Third world country definition for Malaysia may not be accurate(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Developing_country}
    [See Category 2]
    Malaysia is not listed on the third world country list here- (http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/third_world.htm)
    … and is reported as a “midde-upper income country” here-
    World Bank: Country Groups

  164. yes, bribery is wrong and Kenny should have remembered both his license and seatbelt in the first place, but maybe we can afford to take it a little less seriously.
    next time anyone gets asked to ‘belanja kopi-o”, bring them kopi-o. literally.

  165. when u will publish it TIME AND DATE PLZ
    wanna get my first hand info to look at….KENNY
    “chi bai chu mia liao lahh” (hokkien)this time around sure FAMOUS liao lah

  166. Aiyo! You kiam siap king lar! Should give the police RM50 at least mar… he so good give you ‘big’ discount liau you know? 😉 lolzzzz heheheh

  167. I’m not a Malaysian, but I go there often. There was once where by we were caught parking on a doubleline or something and a policeman just gave us a ticket written with pencil and it looked dodgy.
    We just took the summon and took it to pay loh… End up it wasn’t in the records at all – I guess the policeman just wanted us to bribe him.
    A corrupted system sucks, but RM600, that’s alot! We can’t even do that in Singapore lol.

  168. Some time back I was caught by 2 policemen for having parked my car on the yellow line (no-parking area) at the Mosque Car Park in downtown Kuching. Just as they were about to issue me the summons, I told them it was a hassle for me to go to the traffic police office to pay the fine. So they got into my car and we went round the Open Air Market close by and I paid them only $10 and got off the hook!

  169. Re my post above. I just wish to add: Thanks very much to the 2 policemen for “helping” me avoid the $300 fine! We need more policemen like them in Malaysia!

  170. Sorry to say, I find this whole story rather amusing.
    I am from Singapore and I have been stopped maybe 3 times for speeding. On each occasion, I have never bribed the officers. I always opted to pay for the composition fine and they always tell me they can collect on the spot. I have always paid RM50. They tell me they are not able to issue receipts and I say it is ok.
    My colleague is one of those righteous ones who refused to do what I do. He insisted on going by the book. So, he had to spend about an hour driving and finding the police station he was directed to go. There was nobody manning the counter and he waited for a long time. I think it was about 1 hour plus. Then a policeman came to him and asked him what he was doing. He explained the situation and the policeman brought him to the back. There, the policeman collected RM100 from him and told him the matter is settled.
    Go figure!

  171. Kenny..u have no wrong..it is true that malaysia police MAJORITY are in this attitude, ya some will say in the end we gave money is our fault as well BUT who are we? we are normal human being citizen of malaysia, WHO ARE THEM>? they are police wor..the great great police..we offer money (we have not been trained ) they accept also , sometimes they even ASK FOR IT..guys..face the truth la..if the police in mal is same lik in some other country..we offer they twice the fine..I CAN SAY no one will offer again. BUT..why le??? ..
    IN THIS CASE, police and thief is agak same..also get money for their own..but thief are more professional (to their occupation).
    i’m only 21, but….duno how many times i kena, sometimes really wanna kena saman they dun wan to give! they ask me go to police station with them! shit ! tht time i was in like ‘jungle’, not city..rush hour! they purposely say like tht …ok well u guys know..end up with wht kinda ending…
    p/s : No insult to Malaysia police force, it is just my own experience ~

  172. Kenny, assuming you record of event actually took place, yours is an example of the plight of our nation. It takes two to tango. It is easy to bribe, by perpetuating it, you are making it even easier not harder.
    In my company, staff are offered loans if they need to finance their fines from summons. Admitting to paying a bribe results in immediate dismissal. This is a small step we are taking to combat this problem.
    Hope you are proud with a cop as your fuck buddy.

  173. There are pros n cons. Good that sum commoners willing to highlight this issue openly, sincerely. However, you are one accountable citizen who ‘suports’ the problem in a way, as well as ‘teaching’ young viewers here who got latest ‘tip’.Worth thinking twice.

  174. yeah la just earlier this week drove down to Singapore from KL and got clocked doing 132km/h on the highway near JB. Didn’t wanna give my RM50 note so gave two RM10 and SGD4 to the coppers. I coulda sworn I was doing 200km/h at that stretch though.

  175. I hate a third world country like this.
    But for those s’porean who leave comments & critics here, i think u all r a bunch of idiot who cant live at others country. w’htout the shelter of ur gorverment.Ur head are square ,being brain wash by ur gov as the proudest nations in the world. But look,what do u all own? most of u doesnt had a chance to stay in a landed property,& car was a luxurious things to most of u. So to me,u all are a bunch of are so sua-ku & Cock talking all the time.

  176. beter watch out. coz the force are out there for ya. how dare of u to post this kinda stuf out here??? u ignore the consequences but sooner o later the consequences will definately getcha. jus wait patiently. and soon they’re there for u. hahaha.(evil wicked laugh) just like ur poor car. stay tune o not stay tune. up to u…………………………….

  177. To Inspector CC : Its high time you WAKE up and smell the roses ! This is the fact of life . This is Kenny’s blog, he is allowed to post what he wants.
    Rasuah has become a part of every Malaysian life and our PM is far far from reaching his dreams. Hey, dont ask me, if I have a solution, I would be the PM
    I agree with Paul, bloody singaporean …STAY out from this. This is our Malaysian affair

  178. Can anyone let me know if a “ronda polis” can detain our car overnight if they suspect the car-tint is not approved??
    I had an experience with a cop (wearing the “Saya Anti Rasuah” badge somemore) keep threatening me that he wants to retain my car…following precedure, bla…bla..bla..
    After much debate, i hand out RM50 and his eyes was glowing….after take the money, still can say “saya tak mau hanky-panky……i’ve family la and bla..bla…” ya rite….if the incident not in the middle of the night, i’ll sure layan him more.

  179. Althl. Yes they have the right to retain your vehicle pending investigations. but they have to state what sort of investigation. such as suspected drug trafficking with super tinted vehicle… or assassins hiding behind the tinted glass investigation……………………………………

  180. Malaysian Police are somewhat POOR compared to Singapore Law Enforcer, strangly, they are relatively RICH (pay SGD$2k above) because Singapore government wants a clean society, unlike Malaysia; with quite a POOR government BUT with the most corrupted MALAYS inside. Governance in Malaysia is considered WRONG and the state of laws are not supportive and HIGH SARBO courts / judges always stay on the premier’s side (like Mahathir and Anwar case) — It is glad to see Singapore a great success today compared to my own country, they proof to us that Chinese in this region can do better than the Malays. I am not discriminating Malays but to the One Working in Malaysia Government (mostly Malays).

  181. hey, saw your name in USJ.com.my ! Decided to come here based on the URL. You are really disgusting in having disgusting photos.
    Maybe you are disgusting ?

  182. and the time I got fined waiting in my car in a No Parking zone when the policeman ‘missed’ the unattended, parked BMW in front of me.. Next time, drive a heavily tinted expensive car with plates like 8888 or something. looks like a big shot and no policeman will stop you, regardless if u were speeding, u-turning or whatever.

  183. It is unfair for cat to judge people by their race. I’ve travelled a lot these five years workin overseas. Corruptions occur everywhere… Be it in China, the States… i’ve also been bribed in Mexico (probably because we malaysians are considered good looking there.. heh). Malaysia is currently ranked no 39 in the least corrupt world rangking with Iceland topping the list. China itself is ranked 78th. Visit http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0781359.html for more info. Please be fair when judging people.
    I think the way people were brought up and education define a certain person. Kenny.. Kenny.. i just started reading your blog a few days ago… man you’re funnily educated!! keep up the good work buddy!!

  184. first of all it is your fault. YOU START THE FIRE. I’m pray that next time the police will not take a bribe from you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE then u will now. If u talk to much about this i suggest u better get out from this country (MALAYSIA) and i’m really sure u will come back after u find out that no other countries better than Malaysia.. U know what species of u. Malay said BODOH SOMBONG. dah ler bodoh, sombong lak tuhh.

  185. “If u talk to much about this i suggest u better get out from this country (MALAYSIA)”
    stop F**king using this phrase already plz…MP jerai is non educated and miss leading..is u??

  186. i love duit kopi but havent been able to have the guys to give any . . .
    there goes RM300 for the police retirement fund !
    weah weah ( that me crying …if u didnt already know)

  187. no good kenny, i’ve been cheated by rm30, im stoped by trafic 2 times, and dark blue cloth policeman 1 times, 2 times for exzoz and 1 times for tinted. 3 times giving clue for kopi but guess what? no kopi and no saman. always… let u go this time, and dont let me see u again.

  188. well, thats wat i do all the time! n i love it tat this is 1of our practise in msia haha 😛 .. as long as no one is hurt den its ok i guess..

  189. Whether tragic events touch your family personally or are brought into your home via newspapers and television, you can help children cope with the anxiety that violence, death, and disasters can cause.
    Listening and talking to children about their concerns can reassure them that they will be safe. Start by encouraging them to discuss how they have been affected by what is happening around them. Even young children may have specific questions about tragedies. Children react to stress at their own developmental level.
    The Caring for Every Child’s Mental Health Campaign offers these pointers for parents and other caregivers:
    * Encourage children to ask questions. Listen to what they say. Provide comfort and assurance that address their specific fears. It’s okay to admit you can’t answer all of their questions.
    * Talk on their level. Communicate with your children in a way they can understand. Don’t get too technical or complicated.
    * Find out what frightens them. Encourage your children to talk about fears they may have. They may worry that someone will harm them at school or that someone will try to hurt you.
    * Focus on the positive. Reinforce the fact that most people are kind and caring. Remind your child of the heroic actions taken by ordinary people to help victims of tragedy.
    * Pay attention. Your children’s play and drawings may give you a glimpse into their questions or concerns. Ask them to tell you what is going on in the game or the picture. It’s an opportunity to clarify any misconceptions, answer questions, and give reassurance.
    * Develop a plan. Establish a family emergency plan for the future, such as a meeting place where everyone should gather if something unexpected happens in your family or neighborhood. It can help you and your children feel safer.
    If you are concerned about your child’s reaction to stress or trauma, call your physician or a community mental health center.

  190. This incident reminds me of a friend of mine and his group of friends few years back. After a late supper at open air, he drove pass 2 traffic lights. Guess who was following them from behind from the open air. Our belove men in blue. The Traffic offcs stop my friend and to keep the story short, our men in blue wanted some change for coffee and demanded RM100. My friend inform the traffic offc that he is still studying and can only afford RM50. The fella was ‘kind’ enough to agree to the said sum. My friend took out a new RM100 and the traffic offc gave him RM50 change 🙂

  191. I’ve confronted this few weeks back during CNY. But I got off with only RM10. The funny thing is..They have the ‘Saya Anti-Rasuah’ on their chests…SWT..

  192. Police openly seeking bribes is a sign they are Underpaid,Systemic CORRUPTION,or both.There are always a few bad apples,but the openness suggests No Fear of getting caught.Where bribery abounds,victimisation is normally rampant to compensate for lost fines or produce more bribes.
    It is purely a Police initiative,citizens “Will Do what they gotta do”.If you piss off a cop by refusing to pay the bribe,who is there to complain to???It’s worth taking a look at the ethnic makeup of Kuching’s police in contrast to Who they charge the most.I once asked a criminal psychologist from N America: Who would a cop shoot first a black or white suspect?Answer:White cop chasing black and white,decides to shoot,will probably shoot black first.Black cop in similar situation will probably shoot black first also.REASON:Authorities accept less explanation for shooting a Negative Stereotype.
    Corruption is not confined to third world,in wealthier countries corrupt lawmen go after bigger fish,that’s all.
    Kenny baby I admire your gazzunkas,watch your back.

  193. Malaysia Boleh as I read the headlines : Malay Mail dated Friday, January 12 2007 entitled CAUGHT IN THE ACT?
    Policeman accepting bribe
    Here is a true story from a friend
    Here it goes :

      : 11 Jan 2007

    Time   : 6:49pm

    Venue : On Federal Highway
    , from KL towards Subang, flyover cross-secting with Jalan 222 (near Naza,
    after Hilton flyover)

    I was on my way to Sunway, Federal was jammed as usual. At the Naza flyover, I
    thought maybe using the parallel underpass would be faster, so instead of going
    up the flyover, I kept left and used the parallel road which crosses Jalan 222
    instead. At the traffic lights cross junction, there was a policeman. The policeman
    was diverting traffic from federal highway into Jalan 222 (meaning all
    motorists had to turn right) but I wanted to go straight. It wasn’t illegal to
    go straight.

    I was persistent, I wanted to go straight but he was blocking my way. Finally,
    I glared at him and turned right. I had no choice but to jam all the way into
    Jalan 222 and did a u-turn at the residential area. Inevitably, I ended up at
    the same cross junction where the policeman was. Just as I expected, he stopped
    me at the traffic lights. I was holding up traffic but he didn’t care Car’s
    were honking but I didn’t care. If he wanted to embarrass me, let him do it!
    Finally, he directed me to the road shoulder.

    As he slowly strolled over to my car, I wound down my window and asked what the
    matter was. Here is the conversation that ensued:

         Apa masalahnya encik?

    Police  Apa you cakap pada saya tadi? (he demanded angrily)

         Tak ada apa encik?

    Police  Apa you cakap pada saya tadi? (he repeated even louder)

         Tak ada apa encik. Saya pun tak tahu apa saya
    cakap. Kalau you tahu, you beritahu sayalah, Apa saya cakap tadi?

    Police Eh jangan main-main ah! (he glared at me)

         Main apa encik? Apa kesalahan saya sekarang?

    Police  Apa you cakap pada saya tadi? (MUCH MUCH LOUDER NOW, I was getting
    pissed too, he stopped me but can’t tell me my offence!)

         Eh encik, awak stop saya tapi tak boleh cakap apa
    kesalahan saya kah? Saya nyanyi kah, saya cakap telefon kah, saya marah awak
    kah, you boleh prove kah?

    Police  Eh, saya polis lah…saya mahu stop siapa-siapa pun boleh!
    Sekarang saya mahu stop mana-mana kereta pun boleh lah! IC mari!

         Tak boleh, selagi encik tak boleh cakap saya
    salah apa, saya tak akan bagi IC! (I wasn’t going to let him bully me)

    Police  Eh saya kata bagi IC lah!

         Tak boleh, selagi encik tak boleh cakap saya
    salah apa, saya tak akan bagi IC! (I repeated adamantly)

    Police  Eh saya polis lah, saya berkuasa tahu kah?

         Saya tahu, tapi encik, saya salah apa pun encik
    tak boleh beritahu, encik mahu IC saya buat apa?

    Police  Saya mahu tengok lah!

         Tak boleh! (This was getting no where!)

    (Another police approaches my car…)

    Police 2         Apa masalah ni?

    Police 1         Saya minta IC, dia tak

    Police 2         Eh dia minta IC,
    kenapa tak bagi?

    saya salah apa pun dia tak boleh beritahu.

    Police 2         Eh kita polis lah,
    berkuasa tahu tak?

    itu semua, dia sudah beritahu lah, you tak payah cakap lagi!

    Police 2         Bagi IC sekarang! (he
    was shouting in my face now…I was alone in the car)

    Saya salah apa sekarang?! You masih tak boleh cakap lah!

    Police 2         Eh saya boleh kata
    awak tak berkerjasama dengan polis, tahu kah?

    kah? Ok lah, tidak berkerjasama atas apa kesalahan?

    Police 1
            Oi! Saya kata bagi IC sekarang
    lah! (he was still shouting)

    saya mahu buat panggilan telefon dulu (I was intimidated, no doubt…but I
    wasn’t going to give in to their bullying!)

    made my phone call, and was "advised" / persuaded on the phone to
    give my IC and not create a fuss, I consented)

    Police 1         Eh you telefon siapa
    tadi? Lawyer kah?

    I telefon lawyer kah, I telefon doktor kah, I telefon ayah kah, I telefon kawan
    kah…you peduli apa?! Sekarang buat panggilan telefon pun bersalah kah?!

    akan bagi IC saya sekarang tapi saya mahu catit nama dengan nombor polis you!

    Police 1         You mahu tulis kah?
    Tulis lah! Tulis lah!

    saya tulis (and began writing down both their name and badge numbers)
    I was writing…)

    Police 2
            Eh kalau you report aku, aku
    boleh sumbat you dalam lokap tahu kah?!

    laughed in his face!) Yakah? You mahu sumbat saya dalam lokap kah? You punya report mahu tulis apa? Saya tidak bekerjasama atas kesalahan

                      Saya salah apa pun you
    tak boleh cakap lah, you ingat saya takut kah?!
    finished writing both their names and badge numbers and handed him my IC and
    driving license)

    Police 1 was holding on to my IC and license,
    flipping it from side to side without doing anything

    sudah cukup tengok kah?! Saya mahu pergi lah!
    (Police 1 handed me back my IC, but still holding on to my license)

    saya punya license mana? Saya mahu pergi sekarang lah!

    Police 2
            Nama saja orang Malaysia ,
    attitude macam ini! (He gave up and walked off but I stuck my head out the
    window and shouted after him…)

    you semua polis sama lah! Semua orang pun tahu you semua suka buli kita orang

    Police 1         (He glared at me and
    said…) Apa you cakap?!

    lah! Salah kah? Saya kata…semua orang pun tahu…you polis semua pun
    sama…suka buli orang saja!

    saya mahu license saya balik lah!

    (Police 1 chucked my license back to me in disbelief, I guess he didn’t expect
    me to be such a tough nut to crack! He truly picked the wrong person to bully)

    ada apa-apa lagi kan ? Boleh saya pergi sekarang?!

    reluctantly released me, I laughed in his face and drove away, leaving him
    gawking in frustration!)

    My point is, the
    police force are "SUPPOSED" to protect us but they are BULLYING
    us instead! First of all, I hadn’t committed any crime. Second of all, I wasn’t
    under arrest. Thirdly, he just couldn’t tell me what he stopped me for! So why
    should I give in to them?! These 2 policemen are a DISGRACE to the
    police force and I wish to reveal both their names and badge numbers:

    Police 1         Idrus

    Police 2

    And before I finish, attached herewith is a useful handbook which teaches you
    to Know your rights if you’re stopped by a policeman in future,
    it will certainly come in handy! Print it out (only a few pages) and keep it in
    the compartment of your car. And just to prove that this booklet is genuine,
    here is a website to check it out:


  194. Most disturbing,is that the Police are not Local. Bringing in Police from out of town is a strategy for Total OPPRESSION cause Local Police will balk at outright Victimisation.Govt’s behaviour in Sarawak is more in line with Colonial Masters CONTROLLING a Colony that Honest Governance in the Best interest of it’s Citizens.It is also predictable that as exploitation of resources dwindle,the next logical step is to Pick Peoples Pockets through Unjust Laws.

  195. Wow, good on you! At least you have the guts to say truthfully what most Malaysian’s do anyways when faced with a similar situation. To all those other “holier-than-thou” people out there, a sin is still a sin. It doesn’t matter if you bribed a police officer or bought a pirated VCD from your local pasar malam. Its still wrong. So don’t be hypocritical! It’s exactly that kind of attitude which makes our country so terrible. All of us self-righteous bastards who don’t follow what we preach. Was he right in giving that police officer a bribe? No. But then again, neither is posting something in an online blog an offence.

  196. singaporeans jst shut up ok… when u come to malaysia u do the same too n on top of tat.. u dont even settle ur ‘samans’… do tat 1st b4 opening ur big fat mouth!!!!!

  197. it is a very interesting post, but is it ok to publish ‘this kind of post’?
    i like this part too!
    “Police: !!!
    Kenny: :)”

  198. wrong! u can be charged for bribing the police traffic. don’t play-play oh! no fun yo … if you think this blog is save. u never know one day someone saman u and use this blog as an evident of crime u’d made!

  199. A month afta I gt my license, i was “discovered” by a police. My offence>>> cutting the double line. As usual he asks “u tau lu apa salah” and he keeps babling “macam mana sekarang” a lot-lot-lot of times. It’s freaking annnoying!!!!!
    Finally it was settled, i paid RM 20.
    I was wrong for giving the rasuah to him but he is the monkey who asked for it (indirectly). So which party goes to hell now??? =DDD hehehe

  200. In reply to the earlier comment,
    “Sigh..so difficult to look for a decent policeman these days… But I guess if he’s a good one, he wouldn’t be a traffic police catching people doing small crimes like this… Probably on a drug busting crime or something already…”
    Sorry brother, but the drug busting one oso corrupted lah. Blardy hell, try to frame me summore. All malaysian cops can die. Celaka

  201. Dude, I stay just somewhere there, and I’d tell everybody that I can to watch out for that bloody part of the road.

  202. they are cheap mother fuCCCKer….hahahahahaha…. money cheater… sometimes they even claim that you were speeding when you were not… and after u argue with the fuCCCker… he say that you hav been drink driving… hope that those mother fuCCCker kena bang by big fat lOrry and die…
    to hELL those DOGssss…

  203. I live in Laos and the police here are eminently bribable. Much easier to pay the fine ‘directly’ to them than to go through all the pain of fronting up at the police station to pay.
    The army too. There are many restricted areas in the country if your are a pointy nose, with army personnell guarding them at checkpoints and turning back the round eyes. You just start peeling off 5000 kip notes at them until they smile and nod, then you can pass through no problem.
    Yes, the joys of living in a third world country indeed.

  204. Nothing surprises me anymore! I thought it was just a few bad hats, but apparently what happened convinced me that it was actually a den of thieves, sigh.
    5 or 6 years ago, i went to the Police HQ in PJ new town, Selangor to pay my fines. At the traffic police counter, one policeman asked me if i want to settle “cheaply” without appeal but without receipt, while 5 other policemen & women pretend to look away doing something else.
    Another incidence, was when i was involved in an accident, and was supposed to be interrogated by the police inspector in PJ HQ again. He proceeded to tell me that the fine was $300 compound for committing a traffic offence, in the presence of the toll truck operator. And what i would like to do about it, and started to bargain with me on the price. The toll truck operator happened to stand behind me at that time. Sensing something was not right, i suddenly turned around and saw the bloody toll truck operator gesturing with his fingers to the inspector how much to charge me, and what was their respective shares, sigh.

  205. I know it is wrong to give & it will actually encourage more of this type of behaviors, but what to do as i can’t afford the actual fine!!
    Well, it’s also very easy for one to say ” if you can’t afford to pay, then don’t commit the crime”. All i can say is “really, do you think all humans are 100% perfect”!!

  206. I just checked the RILEK site and saw I got a summon from 10th August 2007. (Yes, almost 1 year and only appears in the system within the last 2 weeks).
    Anyway, I did pay a bribe of RM$100 that day and with this experience, I’ll definitely not give any more $$$$ to them bastards. I’ll just take the ticket and go….
    Better to pay to the government than to these low lives. They basically kill their own takings by doing this…….

  207. You pun sama-sama bodoh juga…kalau tengok you punya cerita serupa you saja betul tetapi hakikatnya, you pun tak ada otak mau fikir betul atau salah. Tengok cara you cerita serupa orang ada pelajaran tetapi ’empty’. You tau beri rasuah salah kenapa you bagi juga,dah tau ada salah angkat saman dan bayarlah ataupun pergi Mahkamah.You cuba cerita macam mana mau ubah ini senario kalau you sendiri bagi rasuah…Rasuah takkan berlaku kalau tiada pemberi dan penerima..so you fikirlah sendiri..

  208. Fuck them! Some asshole tried to pull me over and accuse me of running a red light. Tried to play the good cop bad cop shit with me. Fuck it, Told him I’m gonna go to court with him and he’d better have a cctv picture of me running the red light. Set to go to court next month and if I’m right, I’m gonna be demanding an apology from him for not following protocol in the first place when asking for me IC and for being blind!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *