How To Be An Ass In Front Of A Grieving Family

Having someone from the family departing eternally is a very difficult thing to go through. When the grieving family was still feeling sad and heavy at the heart, the last thing they wanted was for someone to screw up their emotions even further.
In an ideal world, people would treat the grieving family with dignity and respect. Too bad we don’t live in an ideal world because we live in a world filled with too many smelly assholes.
These are sorry excuses for human beings that have no conscience whatsoever when it comes to treating a family who is at their lowest of the lows. Even when tears are flowing freely, they STILL managed to rile you up so much – you actually wished it was them lying in the coffin instead!
Unfortunately assholes exist, and these things happened. presents five ways how to make an ass out of yourself in front of a grieving family…

1. Steal the Flowers From the Wreaths


You can have it when its your time

Yes, there are a lot of flowers in the yard. Yes, some of them are very pretty. Yes, eventually they will wilt, they will die, and they will be disposed of.
But dammit, those flowers are NOT for you!
Look. They’re CLEARLY addressed to the family of the dearly departed. You can’t steal those flowers. Have some respect! I don’t know what you’re thinking but stealing flowers off the wreaths is just SO wrong.
Hey if you want pretty flowers, don’t steal them. Do yourself a favour. Jump off a tree and I’ll make sure I personally deliver one right to your door – your coffin door.

2. Leave Your Phone On During the Funeral Service

Picture this scene.
Friends and family members are sobbing and crying their heart out. People are consoling the grieving family and everyone is feeling low.
And then out of nowhere, 50 Cents singing In Da Club blares out of somebody’s MP3 ringtone-enabled mobile phone.

“Go shawty.
It’s your birthday.
We gonna party like it’s yo birthday.
We gonna sip Bacardi like it’s your birthday!”


Its like ‘Fiddy Cents’ himself is in da house.

Gee, thanks for spoiling the mood.
So you scurried to answer your phone while we continue with our sobbing and crying. That’s fine. People forget to switch their phone to silent sometimes and we can forgive that. After which we would have expected you to turn off the sound. But NO! 5 minutes later, your phone rang and 50 cents sang again.
Makes me feel like shoving your phone up your ass and teach you how to use its vibrating function.

3. Sell Your Religion To Us

This actually happened when my father was still well.
When it comes to religion, I’m surprisingly tolerant. I feel touched when people of other religion offer us prayers. I honestly think “God Bless You”/”Amitabha”/”Insya Allah” is a beautiful phrase. I’m quite ok (though slightly annoyed) when I was being preached to by people of a religion/denomination different to mine. I just respectfully reject them.
But one thing I positively absolutely terribly CANNOT stand, is people telling him to join their religion so that he can be ‘guaranteed’ a place in heaven. Or worse, people telling me the reason for his illness was because (I quote) he was possessed by demons!
What the foot!?
Possessed by demons?! You think I’m actually STUPID enough to believe that? What are you, an Amway salesman for your God? Wanting to meet your sales target so you can go on a 2-week holiday in heaven or something?

Choose your own heaven!

Why not join the ‘ religion’? Its full of goodies! When you die, you go to heaven. When you don’t die, I’ll smack you so hard you’ll die, then go to heaven.
Possessed by demons my ass.

4. Buy A Lottery Ticket


Its sickening to know how some people can turn even death into a money-making opportunity

If someone close to me just passed on, DO NOT ask me for his car plate number. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT asking me his death certificate number. For mighty fork’s sake, a person’s passing is not an opportunity for you to use those numbers and buy lottery tickets!
Alright, maybe I can’t change the fact that you are a no-good scumbag gambling addict.
But PLEASE, we honestly DO NOT need to know how his car plate number just won you a consolation prize in 4D. Like we’re gonna celebrate with you!

5. Ask About My Inheritance


Inheritance is not a Jackpot

I hate it HATE IT HATE IT when people ask me how much I’m getting for my inheritance.
For your bloody information, I just lost someone dear to me!
You think this is some sort of lucky draw or something? Maybe to you, losing a parent is a joyous occasion because you get to become slightly richer. But not to me.
Why does it even fucking matter to you how much I’ve inherited? I could have received RM2.54 in total for all I care because you know what – NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE MONEY!
Get a life. Literally!

77 Replies to “How To Be An Ass In Front Of A Grieving Family”

  1. i agree as well, as if their not “civillized” or “educated”.. there are times these things shouldn’t even spark in our mind.
    i don’t like it when someone don’t respect someone. and comparing religion just like the paper. suck.

  2. some people are just more insensitive than the others. can’t turn them out, can’t close them in. hope you feel a little better after you have written about it.

  3. I used to be pretty nice to this kind of insensitive ppl. But then enough is enough. Now I just directly “shoot” them because I realised that they are quite “thick-skinned” too.
    Anyhow, nice post though 😀

  4. Our house-hold is half white half Asian and during my Dads funeral.. all the same things as you mentioned happened. All from the Asian side..*&&^^%!! I was tempted to answer if he had cancer because he sinned then why arent you in Hell yet??? Sorry kenny, I know how you feel , just ignore those assholes for what they are.

  5. hey kenny…
    i faced the same thing that you did when my mom passed away. especially the 4d thing. my aunts and uncles asked me:
    ‘eh…you remember or not what number that van is?’
    i was like..huh?
    they honestly, should get a life. the ones who preach about religion is worst off. it’s sickening to think that they only care when someone is about to die. and what the fuck is that about ‘guaranteeing a place in heaven’? that’s too fucked up. if i was a bad xtian, i’d still be able to go to heaven? yea…sure. heaven would just be like hell then.
    take care of yourself. be strong. your dad will be proud of you no matter what happens.

  6. Gosh. The amazing amount of assholes…I’ve always failed to lose count.
    Those people are out there are really asking for it…literally, ‘oi, wanna die is it!’
    Sigh Kenny. I couldn’t agree with you more.

  7. Hey dude, just read about your loss, whatever I can say it’s already been said.
    Next time just stick the phone in their ass, it’ll make you feel better.
    Chin up, if you come to KL anytime beer on me ok?

  8. i wish i could be there to punch their lights out…..
    i remembered someone asking me how much my family was going to be inheriting after my grandfather passed on….i gave him the most disgusted look and he walked away muttering a sheepish apoplogy….so close to biting his nose off

  9. Kenny out of the 5 things mention. I feel “Sell Your Religion To Us” is the worst.
    Heaven and Hell actually happens when we are alive.(present)
    (Hell – This is a state of suffering and despair, in which we perceive we have no freedom of action. It is characterized by the impulse to destroy ourselves and everything around us. eg.Sickness is like Hell)
    (Heaven-partially describe it as a state of perfect freedom, in which we see the ultimate truth of life. It is characterized by infinite compassion and boundless wisdom.)
    Just ponder and think.
    Had a few same experience when my dad passed away but not that bad like you.

  10. Another annoying thing is throughout the funeral period, the grieving family members argue about who should pay, who should not, who should take this, who should take that. etc. Urgh!

  11. The selling of religion is an ass.. especially when they cant comprehend tht one can be a free thinker and still believe in God…
    normally i get asked..” so what religion are u “… and i normally reply “am a free thinker but i believe in the existence of God” … then they would say ” which God do u believe in?” …. (now am annoyed) and will in return ask ” how many Gods do u think exist” .. after which this religious bimbos will definately reply “I believe there is only 1 God”… and then i ask them ” SO WHY ASK ME WHICH GOD IF THERE IS ONLY 1 God???? bite me ”

  12. until now i still can’t take evangelising…. am going through a definitive moment in my faith right now, and reading your blog helps me redefine things.
    and its good to see that you’re getting stronger. it shows.

  13. wow, so sorry to hear about the obnoxiousity. you could ask them for their license plate number in return, you know, tit for tat and assorted insane behaviour; and blame it on your grief. just a thought! okay, i’ll shut up.

  14. so much for sensitivity, tact and class huh 🙁 it’s sad you had to experience this. some people are so low.

  15. aih…freakin-pain-in-the-ass people… U hav every right to be annoyed, Kenny.
    hmm..u think someone shud come up with a ‘How To Be An Ass During A Funeral’ guidebook with a lil ‘how-to-deal-with-them’ tips beside it?Reverse pyschology sometimes work, u know… It’s about time some ppl learn to be more respectful.
    anyway, love the sarcasm. =p

  16. mine was the death cert number.. was effing pissed and it took all tht was in me to not shout at them. it’s so ludicrous tht these ppl are my ELDERS, the children of my grandma no less.
    to top, they were argueing who’s to handle what – each pushing one responsibility to another, and her body was right there besides them, possibly listening to every word.
    assholes. fucking shitface.

  17. and oh btw, so sorry tht i was so rude over the phone yesterday. *blush*..will make it up to u when i’m back. i buy u kopi ok?

  18. You know, I’ll bet that some people think about how much inheritance they’ll receive when someone close to them dies. It’s the greed in them overruling the love in them. You love your father a lot, so you don’t care about what he’s going to leave you. However, a lot of us are not like that. Am I like the people I described above? I don’t know, but I really hope not.

  19. For a second, I thought I came to the wrong place. It clearly said “Bo-Whei Florist” outside. This is by far the largest and most famous supplier, right by Padungan Road. The beautiful lady from the store kindly reassured me that I am at the right place. The immediate thought that came to my mind was that I must have missed the Mother’s day and surely this wouldn’t the first and definitely wouldn’t last either as I have been rather forgetful. So I asked: “Was Mother’s day last week?”. The beautiful lady turned her head left and right rigorously as if she is arobic session and again reminded me that it is today. This’s kind of strange, now where are all the flowers? This is the only place you would expect to find flower when everywhere else run out. Has Kuching people suddenly more loving and affectionate this year. The beautiful lady slowly paced towards me noticing my twisted face and confusion, handed me Kenny’s address. So to make the story short, me-self and many others take it upon ourselves to take the city back and rebalance the supply-side. *Embarrassed, overlapped hands now covering balls in slightly bent posture due to weight*
    As Pope, I am an authority in this subject. It’s not demon, please don’t mistaken it with the OS daemon either, it is called satan. It is rather easy to spot. They usually wear white robe and let’s put it this way, they are kind of like Ghandi, but better off and can afford to cover from head to toe. They must be mathematicians and they always hang an addition thingy by their neck, and hang around huge, imposing majestic building with addition signboard as well. Sometimes they knock at people’s door and inform them that they have sin in case they forget. But with some cash changing hand, those sins can be forgotten. What a concept. Hope that helps.
    I’m not touch the inheritance thing anymore as the Volve-line didn’t work.
    I hope you enjoy it and I think it is you who need a good laugh from us at times like this.

  20. hmm maybe it was mothers day yesterday and some people cant afford to buy flowers for their mom. hence the idea of stealing! =)
    hopefully everything is falling to its own place for u now

  21. Hi Kenny,
    Hope things have calmed down a bit over at your side now. Please do me a favour and ignored those scumbags. I remembered I had a friend who went around gossiping about how I could still laughed and joked about when my mom had just passed away. Yes, it is true I have just lost someone dear to me BUT LIFE GOES ON. So what if I was still grieving dearly inside then? I did not have to let the whole World knew about that and started to grieve together with me. Plus, I wanted to stay strong so Dad did not have to worry about me. It is ok! Do what you think is right and just ignore them or perhaps give them a tight slap in the face, anything that feels right to you! Cheers and take care!

  22. Oh god…I went through all that when my granddad passed away…Makes you want to close the door to all except the ones who genuinely feel the sorrow of his passing and need to say goodbye / mourn, and not use the funeral as some social event to 8 and lepak.

  23. Sorry to hear more about your encounter with the overzealous kind than to hear about people concerned with your bereavement. I’ve been very careful in the past in choosing to attend funerals as I didn’t want to experience all that you’ve mentioned. My condolences to you for the loss of your father & to the members of the body of Christ who has misrepresented the church in any way. Let them be accountable to God.

  24. The worst? Talking about who get what while the man is still alive, or while he is struggling with his life. I experienced it, and till this day on I have not spoken a word to them.

  25. my mum say alot of ppl go ask her oso for the “whitegold” total number that day…hehe, she give them the “get lost b4 i fuggin stab u with this pilot pen” look…..

  26. Above all: dignity, integrity and sincerity.

    It is difficult to realise that 可惜,在这个世界上,会有这么卑鄙,这么无耻的小人, but I suppose that’s what puts you so much higher than them, both in ettiquette and in all means of class.

    At such a difficult time in your life, it must be so terrible as to have someone try to take advantage of you and your family, but it is not without sophistication, for you to just walk on by. More power to you, Kenny, because it just shows how well your parents have raised you, the strength within you and your courage of conviction.

    True, they are gauche, but at least I (and several others I know, would agree) think that you’re not, and those 小市民: 他们不值得您的 attention or anger.

  27. Above all: dignity, integrity and sincerity.

    It is difficult to realise that 可惜,在这个世界上,会有这么卑鄙,这么无耻的小人, but I suppose that’s what puts you so much higher than them, both in ettiquette and in all means of class.

    At such a difficult time in your life, it must be so terrible as to have someone try to take advantage of you and your family, but it is not without sophistication, for you to just walk on by. More power to you, Kenny, because it just shows how well your parents have raised you, the strength within you and your courage of conviction.

    True, they are gauche, but at least I (and several others I know, would agree) think that you’re not, and those 小市民: 他们不值得您的 attention or anger.

  28. What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__What the fuck?!?!
    If I were you, I’ll simply mess up with someone who did that. >__

  29. Sorry for my late condolences. I hope you and your family are well. It’s a difficult time. And I do empathize with the points you have in this entry. Some people just take things too lightly.
    Take care!
    ~Mirei Antonia

  30. really dissapointed that these actions from ppl actually can happen….esp after what the whole family went through. Hope you are coping well….and don let those ppl get to you *hugs*

  31. Don’t ever let these inconsiderate ppl get to you. im sure sumthin bad will happen to em if they’re being such an ass. this entry is pretty funny tho, glad you’re being strong and have sense of humor. =)

  32. try having own family members showing disrespect..
    i had relatives from dunno what kampung that happily chomped down some trees in front of my house at the anguish of me ma and dad. The trees had been standing atop the roof for some time now and been blockin me ma’s view of KFC(her finger lickin’ fav dine in) but still there won’t be reasons they do so. I have liked the trees as long as I can remember. I’ve even built a treehouse right at where the branches conjure out if you really wanna know. It’s not even the best you’ll ever witness but its a decent little hut where I usually do hang out, sometimes past bedtime just to finish blogging for all of your viewing pleasure( what are friends for afterall?!?!?!) Its sorta like a treehouse you only get to see from teenage flicks on tv. But that’s where the similarity ends. You see..there’s no breeze cool winter here and we don’t hope a wave of summer heat strikes us anytime soon now, so as to speak. The air is filth, the birds aren’t chirping and definitely there isn’t the sight of falling leaves come spring. Despite the blaring sun scorching down us day after day I liked nothing more of that place than serves as my sanctuary. And its gone, just like dat!! Thank you very much.

  33. I encountered the same thing when during my father’s funeral (back in 2003)
    some priest came to our funeral and attempted to convert us to Christian !

  34. ok..someone just used my details father is still very much alive thank you very much..and no one tried to christian me..YET

  35. sorry kenny..i made a mistake my bad..and that whatever long post about ppl chomping down trees is NOT from me..damn it

  36. I would like to make it clear to all of you that only the Protestants are overzealous Chirstians. And no, priests will never do such a thing as to try to shove their religious beliefs down anybody’s throats, what more the grieving ones.
    So please don’t put all Christians in a bad light because of some insensitive fanatics who think they are superior to others just because they believe in Christ.
    I assure you the TRUE Christians,the Roman Catholics,have never and will never stoop so low to that level. And fyi, pastors and Protestants go together hand in hand. So there.

  37. agreed. stupid people suck.
    what we should do is to remove the safety labels off all household applicances so that the problems eliminate themselves.

  38. ps. KS, sorry, this may be sort of rude that I bring it up here, but i just had to reply:
    Alannah: a roman catholic calling the protestants overzealous when the RCs worship a woman who happened to be the carrier of Christ? you just made my day.
    Don’t troll dear, this has nothing to do with Christianity. Stupid people exist in all forms, no matter gender, race or religion. Now read my post above.

  39. Taste, thanks for bringing that up about Alannah’s comment, so rude of Alannah for using Kenny Sia’s space to post such comment, don’t ever gloridied your religion by disgracing others. see you in hell.

  40. Kenny,
    Ignored those people, someday, they will get their turn to get the same treatment, and they wonder why , oh why…..

  41. fyi, Roman Catholics don’t worship Mother Mary; we honour her as the intercessor of Christ. oh dear, pls get ur facts right b4 flying off the handle, LOL. And no, it has never been my intention to glorify my religion. i don’t need to because religion is my personal affair. well at least we don’t go from house to house to preach about the end of the world LOL, what more in funerals! ok enough said. end of religion war that was never intended.

  42. Whatever Christian denominations both of you both belong to, there is really no need to mudsling here. Ultimately, we all believe in one God. There is no need to blow out another light to let yours shine. Both can burn equally bright and make the world a better place.

  43. Alannah, the people who preach about the end of the world are the Jehovah Witnesses. Protestants just sit back in their front lawns sipping Ice Lemon Tea and thinking about where they’re going to party on Sunday night.
    Honor her? Oh good one:)
    And no, it has never been my intention to glorify my religion
    So putting down the Protestants in the comments section of someone’s blog is what? Being respectable? You could have at least been more subtle about it. In fact as a fellow believer, let me help you with your sentence structure:
    Need a REAL religion? Be a Roman Catholic Christian today! We accept donations in the good name of the Lord and don’t forget to bring a can of meat on Saturday evenings for our weekly spamming the blasphemer churches outings. Call 1800-555-RC4LIFE and book yourself a place in Heaven because that is the cool thing to do. Do it now, do it the Roman Catholic way!
    Don’t think of this as a religious war. Everyone has opinions, and we’re just having a peaceful discussion*. No swords will be brandished, no heads will roll. This isn’t the crusades, sister.
    *while selfishly abusing space:P

  44. During my dad’s funeral, there’s this thing called “dead people money” or “dead people gambling” where during the night, they’ll take out the domninos and gamble.

  45. worse….did u know that ppl really come to u at the hospital just to sell coffin for your love ones? darn them! use eBay lah! they auction everyhting mar!

  46. to the barrage of religious diatribes ive been getting, “Whatever. im having a good laugh here. La la la la la.”

  47. hey, it’s my first time visiting ur blog here and i’m sorry about your dad passing away. i know how it feels like losing someone so dear espcially when he raised you up and watched you grew. but why amway salesman of all thing? i’m doing amway as well, but i don’t think it’s that bad. so erm, why not avon/cosway/or watever crap salesman instead of amway salesman? and oh, we don’t need to reach whatever target my dear. but my intention is not to hurt you, bcuz i know you all already feeling sad. i just wanted to clear things up. =) anywayz, take care ya..

  48. I also experienced this before, which at that period was around march, and my grandmother passed away, during the funeral there was a bloody idiot whose handphone kept ringing, and if it isnt enough, the ringtone was a Chinese New Year ringtone! WTF!! Chinese New Year in march??? That asshole seriously need a kick in the ass…

  49. hmm kinda late to be commenting for this post, but being demon possessed is not some fiction,n watever it is, im sure the guy who preached to u din do it for his own good,wat good wud he get by using his energy that way? we dun get commission or anythin liddat telling others abt christ, not on earth anyway.

  50. Sorry, is kinda late to add this comment.
    I have encountered the same problem during my brother’s funeral. Even worse is that, the flower shop was trying to make a profit out of his funeral. When we order flowers, they gave us the flower that is almost wilt.
    My aunt is the worst. My brother passed away in an accident and he was only 18. During the funeral, she was talking loudly and showing off her son while my mum just lost her son. My mum’s friend tried to stop her but she wouldn’t. What a fxxking selfish retard!!!
    I understand that grieving lasted for years. I hope you are feeling better now. 🙂

  51. i just couldn’t agree with you more, especially on point #3. same thing happens to my family when i lost my dad 3 years ago without any signal or anything whatsoever! some of my so-called mom’s friends came over and start to preach until both my mom n sis are christians now! @#$%@$!#@%@#$ really pisses me off big time! i hate those preachers to my bone!

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