Four Years

Dear papa,

It’s been four years since I last saw your smile.

How have you been doing? I can’t see you. Are you watching over me? Are you smiling from up above? I am missing you so much.

I have been busy. Things are going on so crazy right now. My head felt like splitting. There’s 101 things to do everyday. Before I knew it, the day is over. I am living the life of a workaholic right now.

In the past 6 months, there had been many changes going on in my life. I’ve got out of a relationship. Took a long break overseas. Got back. Became an uncle. Shaved my head bald. Took another long break and just got back with mom and the rest of the company from Japan.

The shaving-my-head bald thing was not for style nor fashion. 😉 I did it to raise funds for the SCCS and it went really well. The readers of my blog responded very generously. Part of me did it because I knew how helpless it felt to have someone I love suffering from cancer. So I dedicated my efforts to you, and I want you to know that you are still changing people’s lives for the better, even after you had long gone.

Don’t worry about the business. It is still going great. Kor kor is doing a fantastic job. The economy crisis didn’t hit us that much and besides, it’s not like we’ve never pulled out of a bad situation before. I have left the IT department earlier this year though,  because I have plans of my own. In fact, I am following your footsteps, starting my own business later this year.

I had a lot of assistance from uncle and the rest of the company. Right now, I am experiencing what you must had experienced when you started your business many years ago. I have been spending a lot of long hours reading different books, brainstorming ideas and coming up with plans. It’s a lot of hard work, harder than I expected. But it is good fun. I enjoy the challenge. I just hoped I inherited your business acumen. Time will tell whether or not I could be as good a businessman as you were. I hope I won’t disappoint you.

It’s been four years since you left us, papa.

It has taken me a while, but the reality has begun to sink in. I know you will not be coming back anymore. And I know will never see you again.

That does not, however, stop me from missing you so dearly, today, on the fourth year of your passing. Your voice, your smell, your smile… it’s still so fresh in my head. You are my pride. And not a day goes by without me trying my best to learn from the memories I have of you. So one day, I can tell people that I have grown up to be the man that my father once was.

Rest well up there.

I love you.

 

Your youngest son,
Kenny

134 Replies to “Four Years”

  1. in the midst of this craziness, this entry touches my heart. it reminds me to be grouunded, no matter how high we have gone. bless u. 🙂

  2. We rarely know the value of a thing or a person until we lost the possession of owning it/them. But we often grow to be a better person from there. Cause along the way, we picked ourselves up and we formed someone new, but much alike who we were or what has changed 🙂

  3. All the best for you Kenny.
    I am an avid reader of your blog. Keep up your good works in life. You are inspirational 🙂

  4. i juz realized it’s May again, by reading your posts about your dad on May for 4 consecutive yrs.. very touching..

  5. so touching..
    a very, very big reminder for me to appreciate my family more
    God bless kenny =)

  6. that was really sweet. hopefully next year you’ll be able to tell your dad how much you’ve succeeded 🙂

  7. This is so touching kenny. I can’t imagine how my life will turn if my dad is gone *touch wood*
    Hope u’ll success in business and in u life! all the best!

  8. I’m sure he appreciates this. Don’t fret too much, living yours to the fullest is the best way to repay him. Don’t waste it.
    ^_^

  9. kenny, i too lost my dad 4 yrs ago to cancer… however he lives in my heart every moment…dont worry our dads r watching over us all the time .. just like the air which is around us… i miss him dearly too..

  10. i’m sure some tears streaked your cheeks when you wrote this, because i found myself sniffing after reading. i wish you success 🙂

  11. 4 years already, so fast right? Before you realize, thing that may seem to have just happened yesterday is actually long gone stories.
    And within these 4 years you have achieved a lot that you might not have expected before.
    I am sure he will be proud of you. He is gone but he is still with you Kenny. Gambatte!

  12. i hv jz understood how hard it is to have someone in the family to have cancer coz my brother was just diagnosed with one. The emotional turmoil and the stress and the hurt to see him suffer from the side effects of the chemo just break my heart. sigh. take care Kenny aww i’m sure you won’t disappoint him.

  13. I m crying when i read this blog… You really remind me of my mom… I love her and really miss her very much… Its has been almost 4 years now….. But the pain of losing her still remain in my heart…Especially sometime when i see my dad tears drop cos of missing her.

  14. I have a dad, 58 yrs old his age stil alive and kicking! reading this entry, it touches my heart too much in its own way, as I’m daddy’s No. 1 girl, eventho I am now 31, I am always still his favourite.
    I can’t imagine if one day he leaves us, I can’t accept it and I hate to think even an inch about it.
    I love my dad, Kenny. For those who still have Papa, Daddy, Ayah, Apai or whatever you call them… please appreciate them!
    *sob.

  15. Im sure ur dad is beaming with pride and joy looking at you now from above. Keep up the fantastic job bro. All of us here wish u the best and all your future undertakings. gogogo TAMBA MINYAK.

  16. Hi Kenny, this entry moved me and made me tear.
    My mother passed away when I was 6, me and my family have all felt the sadness of losing a wife and mother and I can relate to your post…
    It pains me to know that some people out there are taking their parents for granted.
    Good luck with your upcoming business and I’m sure right now he’s smiling at your success 🙂

  17. Kenny, what a nice post to your dad. Don’t worry, your dad must be proud of what you have accomplished after all these years. Take care and God Bless You. : )

  18. I personally think you’re a real inspiration to people out there who have lost their loved ones as well. More so when I see people who have lost a parent and use that reason to justify their wrongdoings.
    That’s why I’m really proud of you for having handled this so well for so long … four years even! 🙂 Stay strong Kenny!

  19. kenny, you should listen to “view from heaven” by Yellowcard, think the song will match your feelings.

  20. hi kenny, this really touches my heart. i’m sure your dad is proud of you. i’m far away from my family and this makes my tears roll down my cheeks… all the best to both of us and good people around us.

  21. Kenny, it’s hard isn’t it? For me, I’ve not seen my family for 2 years. It feels like you have freedom and yet it feels empty. You must’ve gotten a harder hit. I admire your spirit. Keep it up

  22. i still recall your post on your pap’s 3rd year.
    this reminds me of my pap too, this May12 gonna be my daddy’s 4th year as well. I guess I do really understand how u feel. hhmmhhh….
    Anyway, cheer up, k? 🙂

  23. tell us about your shop more next time k. will definitely go n visit. stay strong yeah kenny *love*

  24. its really touching kenny.im sure ur dad really proud of you.actually im experiencing the same thing liek you.But my mom haven passed away yet.she left me to Dublin ,Ireland 10 years ago.Although she still alive,but i cant touch nor taste her dishes for quite long time for the sake to earn money for me to study.haiz…life not easy

  25. i like u kenny, everyone sure must work hard enuf to get tru barriers, be smart enuf to avoid certain unnecesary things…. hope u success.
    darren

  26. dear kenny,
    i understand the feeling. my dad has left me because of cancer as well. it has been 10 years since he passed away n i still miss him alot.
    may our dads rest in peace.

  27. Remember that God is Love.. And Kenny, do have hope. You will definitely see your dad again.. He is just sleeping.

  28. kenny one of the many things that make me respect you is you being so filial. every year, when i read your entry for your dad, its so touching. 🙂

  29. now i realized this is the 4th time reading ur tribute to ur papa…how fast time has gone by…

  30. Am sure you will do well in your new business, and he will be very proud of you.. in fact, he must be real proud of you already!

  31. Five years ago, I lost my beloved mum as well.. I know exactly how you feel… Can’t really accept the fact that she’s leaving us… Forever… So, be grateful and appreciate of what you have while you still have them… Be proud, Kenny!

  32. I lost my dad to cancer 5 months back. The pain is still fresh. I wonder how long will it takes before I can smile at his memories and not cry with every thought of him…..

  33. I wish i m doing as much as you are to make daddy proud from wherever he may be.
    Reading your posts makes me feel a shame of myself….
    Keep up the good work, Kenny. : )

  34. Kenny, ur post touched me. My dad would have left us for four years this year as well in July. I guess it gets easier but nevertheless still amazingly painful at times.
    take care.

  35. Good luck in ur business Kenny:)
    didnt know ive been following ur blog for more than 4 years?! omg!

  36. i felt tears in my eyes while reading that.
    this was a reminder to cherish every moment we have with our loved ones. never take them for granted.

  37. this might be my first time reading such a heartwarming and touch piece from you…im sure ur dad is proud of you too.im so happy that each one of us is trying d best we could to contribute something to the society even though it is small but it meant a lot..
    gambateh in ur business though~

  38. Kenny, hope u will have a smooth path for u in d future. I’m sure ur father is proud of u.. always and forever. take care of urself ya..remember, no matter how hectic u r, dont forget to stop for a while, take a deep breath. Gambateh…

  39. Today, I’ve just heard the news from my dad after he went to his specialist to collect his results. He is diagnosed with cancer. It’s not that critical and surgery/ radiation can save him and the cancer cells did not spread further. I know my dad will live long and happy. I just know it.

  40. *In tears*
    You will make it, Kenny. Your dad is very proud of you. I mentioned your name so many times in my blog presentation today ok… 🙂 I told the agencies and clients I’m a fan of Kenny Sia. 🙂

  41. Very touching…
    I’m sure that your old man is proud of who you’ve become~
    Wish you all the best in your upcoming business! =)

  42. I lost my dad when I was 13. I was the apple of his eyes. His pet. I was the youngest in the family, just like you. My father loved me very much. He suffered from parkinson’s. I remember one day when I came back home from school and although he was shaking very badly, he made coffee for me.
    The coffee he made was very sweet. Till this day, I could never forget how happy he made me that. How happy I was to see him able to walk albeit shakily and the fact that he made coffee for me. I can’t continue, I am crying so much, it’s hard to concentrate.
    I want to say thank you Kenny. thank you for making me cry for my dad. thank you because i know how i have selfishly taken my family for granted.

  43. Very touching post, Kenny!
    You are doing great and keep going strong!! Good luck with your business plans 🙂
    p/s: i love your sakura pic! love the way/angle you take it from.

  44. I lost my dad, 20 days ago. He has gone physically but he lives in my heart. His every little thing still lingers in my mind. I really wanted to let him know that I love him, like the way he loves me, but there is no more chance left.
    I miss you, lou dao.

  45. Kenny, this is a very touching blog you have to commemorate your dad. It got me teary and hope your heart is comforted. your dad is very proud of you and you will be blessed in the things you undertake.

  46. it’s hard isn’t it? to miss someone so dearly, and having no alternatives at all to meet them anymore. life can be very harsh at times but hey, life is still something to be worth celebrating abt! i wish you all the best for the new business. the first step forward will always be the start of an incredible but maybe long journey. good luck!

  47. Kenny,
    Ur love for ur Dad really moved me to tears X_X Thanks for sharing with us ur feelings for ur Dad. It serves as a reminder for us not to take our loved ones for granted. Whether it’s our parents, siblings, grandparents, friends, soulmate, children, grandchildren,treasure n love them dearly while they are still around.
    Your Dad will be so proud of u and he’ll see to ur success in ur new business. Jia You!
    Cheers~ FioN ^_^

  48. Yeah…really reminds me of my grandfather…i really miss him a lot..
    it’s sad that he can’t live to see my graduation as well in person…

  49. hey kenny…this is touching and your father up there is proud of u wat u r doing here …. keep it up and hope ur business will grow and success!

  50. I cried so badly when I read this blog post. It reminds me to appreciate people around me, especially my family. Be strong and endure the hardship. 🙂

  51. I always like how you write about your dad, how fond of you are to him. I have my dad still, but just because we grew up in a broken family. Sometimes things are not like what i wanted, like yours. How much you admire, how much respect, and how much love. Somehow, I hope at times, i can have this. But right now, I don’t know how to approach him at his 2nd family. Im just where i am now. Having a dad at a phone call away.

  52. Nice one Kenny, very touching, i doubt if there’s any dry eyes in this forum, keep up the good work and off u go !

  53. Each time you write about your dad, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes. I’m sure your dad will be very proud of you .
    I sincerely wish you success in your new biz! Cheers!

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