Face No Evil

KennySia: i have this theory rite
KennySia: everytime i put up a photo of me with a girl, the number of kennysia haters will rise by 10%
KennySia: everytime i put up a photo of me with my hand around that girl, it’ll rise by 20%
KennySia: everytime i put up a photo of me with YOU, it’ll rise by 50%.
KennySia: everytime i put up a photo of me with a topless model, it’ll rise by 100%.
XiaXue: lol
XiaXue: how come mine so much
KennySia: Kenny Sia’s number of haters is directly proportional to how nice the girl and I look in that picture.

A new hater is born after viewing this pic.

XiaXue: people dun like popular people la
XiaXue: simple as that
KennySia: there’s this girl
KennySia: who used to like reading me.
XiaXue: then
KennySia: as soon as i come back from s’pore last time and posted my pics with u
KennySia: the hate comments start coming in
XiaXue: lol
KennySia: now she’s going around leaving anti-kenny messages
XiaXue: doesnt matter
XiaXue: i’m sure there are more people from my blog who ended up liking u, than people who were originally read ur blog now disliking u
KennySia: that’s true.
KennySia: kinda offsets it
XiaXue: people like her
XiaXue: are just flippant
XiaXue: why would u want readers like that
XiaXue: siao one
XiaXue: i also want
KennySia: u got lots eh
XiaXue: i got many messages last time
XiaXue: “i used to like xiaxue, but after she write about city harvest etc i don’t like her anymore”
XiaXue: the most ridiculous was S.H.E

XiaXue: hello?!
XiaXue: i didnt even write bad stuff about them
KennySia: ppl want u to agree with them
XiaXue: i only say that their clothes look like kotex wrappers
XiaXue: which they did
XiaXue: black and white polka dots
KennySia: some ppl are a tad bit sensitive
KennySia: when i wrote about Miss Slovakia’s face looking ‘plastic’
KennySia: she wrote back to me telling me she never had plastic surgery.
KennySia: kns
KennySia: and that kanina Steven Lim left a message on my tag board.
KennySia: asking me to promote him

There you go Steven Lim. You asked for it.

KennySia: wahahaha
XiaXue: yuck
XiaXue: why ur stupid face always got this benign grin one
XiaXue: like those priests kind
XiaXue: must always be caught with a kindly face

My kindly face. And Silly Celly.

KennySia: yaloh
XiaXue: U look like u are about to say
KennySia: hahahaa
KennySia: friend of mine said i have the tai ko (big brother) look.
KennySia: do i really look like someone who’s never gonna do evil stuff?
XiaXue: yes
KennySia: shit
XiaXue: thats why people oppose to u taking photo with spg
XiaXue: lol
XiaXue: if its bigfuck i’m totally fine

‘The Big Fuck’ Joel Tan

XiaXue: poor u
KennySia: yea i am so “blessed”
XiaXue: its not only ur face la
XiaXue: u are not a se (sinister) person
KennySia: thing is
KennySia: i am capable of doing sinister stuff once in a while
KennySia: but ppl dun expect me to do that ‘cos of my face.
KennySia: i look like someone who’s never gonna upset anyone
XiaXue: but u will have people saying u bhb (thick skin)
Now wait a minute. Have I missed something here?
Is there really such a notion that people who look one kind would do some things but not others? That’s stereotype isn’t it? I thought people have learnt a long time ago that looks can be deceiving.

Looks can be deceiving. The Thing, wanking… The Thing, wanking his thing.

“He doesn’t look like the type of guy who would do that kind of stuff.” I hear that a lot. Being born with a kindly face does have its benefits sometimes. I was rarely stopped by the police; I can walk through customs very easily; and people trust me with their babies.
As much as it can be flattering, a lot of times I feel restricted by people’s expectations, simply because of how I look.

“I can’t believe he’s the type who frequents nightclubs.”
“Wah you see he did this and that with this girl that girl so many girls.”
“OMG, he bared his top for the whole wide world to see!”

I can understand where people are coming from. If I look like Robbie Williams and I did what I did, people wouldn’t give two fucks about it at all. At best what I’ll probably hear is, “Ahhh… that’s just Kenny being Kenny, ya know? No big deal.”
The problem is, like Wendy said, I look like a frickin’ priest. And priests don’t pose intimately with girls. They pose intimately with boys.

Feeling dejected, I consulted FaceAnalyzer.com to see if its true that I look like a typical good guy.

Average Honour, average politeness, average sociability, low promiscuity (heh). All in all, I’m pretty much the average joe.
How about the ‘Big Fuck’?

Hail ye Japanese Emperor!

Get this, he’s very polite, doesn’t socialise as much, and VERY unpromiscuous (!). To top it all off, he’s smarter than me, more ambitious than me, and gets paid helluva lot more than I do. This, my friends, is coming from a guy who once posted a photo with his underwear on his head.

Tell me Wendy, who would you rather bring home to your mommy?

There you have it. Looks can be deceiving. I may look like a priest outside, but I’m really a naughty boy on the inside.
Proof that Ayah Pin – Malaysia’s most notorius playboy with ten wives – is innocent.

Stayed up till 1am last night fixing bugs on this site. Happy to say, all the bugs are squashed.

49 Replies to “Face No Evil”

  1. Hur hur, same here lah. I look like a 17 year old innocent naive young girl so people are always shocked when they find out i drink beer or smoke or whatever.

  2. Now I know why hair is growing on yr chest – something that doesn’t happens often with Chinamen.
    It’s b’cos you are losing yr (head) hair.
    It is moving from yr head to yr chest.

  3. Hi Kenny — I’m the one who “met” you in Australia-Malaysia promoting bilateral thighs.
    My readers commented my place is too SerriiiooouuusssS! So this hole week I’m keeping it totally politics-free, requesting for Light, Laughter and Kind contributions, trying some beggary I learnt so mcuh from the noises coming out of the PWTC the last few days.
    I wrote somethin’ not so polite just now, and I’m sorry I had to ride your bandwagon to compliment/complement the end, as I luv people coming out of kuching, they are catty and chatty!
    As a matter of ourtesy, just to inform thee, I added this in an uipdate just now:
    “PPS: If my language is a little strong towards the end, and should offend, Please visit kennysia.com, and become his fRiend!”

  4. wahliaoz. hehe. my face has changed considerably from last year leh. last year i could walk in and out of bars and pubs and hooker joints unmolested by age-checking bouncers. this year i can’t even walk close to them without gettting dirty looks.
    last year people asked me what industry i was in. this year, people asking me, tingkatan apa? hell, i’m only 18. lolz. comes with losing one third your body mass quickly.

  5. it’s not true la kenny. nothing to do with the girl. it’s all your face. the rating of anti-kenny = the amount of “dorkness” in your face… to actually think that you are proud of it…hhehehe… you are one funny guy, full of confidence and writing flairs (mmm….i dont know) =)) waahahahahahahahahaaaa….

  6. Those people are really hypocrites huh? bleah… anyway, what a cool site, how did you find out about it? LOL, i just upoloaded teh first pic. and got absolutely nothing and I uploaded another and I’m 96% eastern european and 4% east indian. I’m 100% indian actually, lol, i wonder how the programme actually checks it. shall upload another pic. now:P so fun, lol.

  7. p.p.s. now I’m 34% eastern european and 66% anglo saxon! LOL!!! maybe i’m adopted:P:P oh ooops… my mistake… it says: RaceAnalysis Explained
    When a good quality image is uploaded(straight on picture, expressionless face, even lighting), the Race Analysis describes the racial features that are inherent in that face. Generally, people of a particular race will have racial features from many races. That means if you are east indian, you may have eastern european features, and vice versa. Your race analysis will reflect this.

  8. p.p.p.s. there is something wrong with the site… now i keep getting south east asian/korean/ japanese… lol, yeah, yeah, i know i’m lame but it’s so funny when you get the total opposite of what you expect. anyways, sweet & sour dayz.

  9. Kenny…I still love reading your posts…and I don’t think negative of XiaXue at all…she’s just unique in her own way…by the way, I think she looks best without make up on…

  10. Your posts are ridiculously funny, and kept me going those late nights when I was mugging for exams. Unfortunately, the large proportion of time was spent reading you and not my lecture notes as I should have been doing. I particularly liked the Tuan. Puan. smith. It’s a running joke with my friends now and always makes me crack up. 🙂

  11. hahahahaha kamu memang hero di hatiku selama-lamanya. suruh orang yang kutuk kamu pergi makan TAHI!!!

  12. dude, dont worry. even tho average joes usually finish last.. but usually they get the girls since you already have a girl.. 🙂 why worry? am i babbling? its 1am in auckland. just thought i’ll drop in to say hi. and i like reading your shit before i sleep 🙂

  13. Hmm…even though I look so good n HANDSOME, I don’t have tons of girls falling after me (Well..maybe not yet. :P)!!
    Looks can be so deceiving lor!!

  14. Here’s my theory …
    Kenny Sia’s number of lovers is directly proportional to how big his coconuts are.
    Everytime you put up a photo of your coconuts, it’ll rise by 200%. Amen!

  15. The write-up on BigFuck is hilarious…..I wonder if he knows about this cos I didn’t see his comments here 😛

  16. KENNY SIA!!!! dak harn lei ngor dei ‘Jut Doi Siong Diu’ geh blog support ha lah~ ngo dei geh blog giu ‘Dai Cha Fan’
    yao nei jiok shou! shun ha ngor dei lah! ngor dei mou ngak nei gah!!! ^^

  17. “…there’s this girl who used to like reading me. as soon as i come back from s’pore last time and posted my pics with (xiaxue) the hate comments start coming in”
    Please, tell me that’s not true…!

  18. this is proof kenny. you should wear underwear on your head because it will make you smarter and help you earn more money.
    really hor don’t say i never help you out har.

  19. See lah. Now after your fits over your controversial posing with the SPG, you now have more hits than last time.
    So proving that you should post more blogs like your SPG one and then delete it the next day. And your hits will go up again.
    Methinks perhas that was your intention after all. heh.

  20. yeah…I never get blamed for anything, and friends use me as the “reason” they’re going out for a day out.
    Somehow I just look like some polite jap girl to parents.

  21. I’m the opposite of you.
    My face tells people I always do naughty things. But what can I do? Of course I can’t disappoint them, right? So, most of the time I do naughty things loh. LoL …..

  22. oh well kenny, u can’t please the whole world.
    we all like ur entries, so ignore the hate mails and shit like tat.
    PS: steven lim scares me a lot.

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