Computer Functions In Real Life

I think I’m becoming increasingly over-reliant on my computer these days.

I spend most of my time at work facing a computer. I read the news online, I write letters, socialise, communicate, research, play games, earn money, do my banking, book my flights on Fare.net all using a computer. And with my career firmly in the IT line, I doubt things aren’t gonna change for the better anytime soon.
The sad fact is that I spent so much time on the computer that I don’t know even how to lead a normal life without it anymore. It’s bloody ridiculous.
I depend on my computer so much, sometimes I even wished there were computer features built into real life.
Like that other time when I was attending a business function that required me to make small talks with countless strangers. It’s impossible to remember everyone’s name right. Mistakes can and do happen.

Damn awkward when you’re stuck in a situation like this, isn’t it?
How I wish there’s a feature like Dictionary.com’s spell check function in real life. That way, then at least you can have a chance to correct yourself before you stumble and end up making a bad first impression.

Works out to be so much safer.

Or I could be trying to cook a dish dinner but have absolutely no idea how to proceed. The best I could do was prepare all the ingredients. Times like this I wish a paper clip will pop up from the corner and ask me if I need help.

I’d say ‘yes’ and just like that, dinner is ready to be served.

That would be a cool feature.

Then there were countless frustrating times when I lost my wallet, phone or car keys.

Imagine how nice it would be if next time I misplaced my stuff, and a window box popped up all of the sudden and asked me:

I think that would make life so much easier for absent-minded ppl like me.

But I tell you what is useful though.

Say it’s a Saturday night, you’re feeling a little naughty, a lil raunchy. You walked into a hip club looking for some hot steamy action. The club is packed but none of the sexy ladies were looking at you. You feel like a failure, standing all alone.
How nice would it be if at this point in time, you can do this?

Google’s “I’m Feeling Lucky” function in real life. Now won’t you just luurrrrvvvveeee to have that!? 😉


Bought myself a pair of new specs today.
Rimless lightweight titanium frame and a pair of scratch-resistant polycarbonate lens at 600 degrees on both eyes set me back RM525. I really wanted the Silhouette branded ones but the frames itself would’ve cost me RM700. Too darn ex.

113 Replies to “Computer Functions In Real Life”

  1. kenny, i think you have being cheated as Rimless lightweight titanium frame and a pair of sr polycarb lens wont cost so much…its usually around rm350 to rm450…and the frame itself cost below rm100

  2. cool! I would love to have the paper clip popping up and helping me when I need some.
    Real creative post!

  3. Very good try. I am also in the IT line, never realised those annoying pop-up windows could be so helpful in real life. Thumbs up, Kenny 🙂

  4. A little off course here but, you know what I would really like,….. self vacuuming floors.
    I always imagined what it would be like to hit a button on the wall, and tiny little openings in the floor would just SUCK up all that debris, in 15 seconds. Also, a self mopping floor, –wet, lather, scrub, rinse, dry—just like a CARWASH!
    Uh…..yeah, so much for MY wild(?)imaginings
    AH-DUrrRHK!!!! (hands spastically in puppy dog position)

  5. Are these the new functions of the upcoming Vista?
    I’ll like one that goes with a beep and “Alert! Alert! Your zip is undone” whenever, eh, my zip is undone. But not when I’m in the toilet. Haha.

  6. Kenny..sometimes it just keeps me wondering what’s really in your mind..IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY THINK OF? =p

  7. Better yet, you would be able to upgrade your equipment… a BIGGER HARDdisk…. 😉
    Or when you fucked up you can always go back to your save game file…
    but then again…
    I ALWAYS FEEL LUCKY!! WHOOOOOT

  8. dude! hand it to you to think of such shit every now and then.
    i’ll probably never be able to make half of that up xD

  9. It is true. I feel the same way sometimes. Eg. isnt it nice when u make an error, u can simply undo it with a touch of a button, or when u have repetitive works, won’t it be nice to just copy and paste it again & again…he he

  10. HEY! u forgot to add the one tag that helps u when ur getting “shitfaced” hahaaaaaa
    or the one remind u to use a condom….woooo hoooooo!
    cheers
    david

  11. Haha, quite a FUNNY and CREATIVE post…You depended on IT and Computer TOO MUCH? SAD, same with me… PC is part of my life, i really can’t deny it and what we CAN do is just accept it, make use of it! SINCE you say YOU CAN earn $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ from that, right?????????????????Continue with you interesting post, people will support and click more on the ADS, HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

  12. You just pointed out the obvious: not only you but everybody these day relies too much on computers to communicate. We don’t know how to be human!
    Take Kenny for example. Instead of talking to his friends or family members, he has this blog. If it were back in the old days, he would have called, wrote mails (using papers of course), or at least wrote an email. But now every human being and their dogs have at least one blog.
    And instead of going to your colleague’s cubicle or your professor’s office, you HAVE to drop them an email. Last month my school email system went kaput for a week. It was the worst thing ever happened to me.
    I am glad you put up this blog entry. I

  13. That must have been a lot of thought put in there before writing this haha.. i’d never thought of something like that
    😀 good one hahaha

  14. All we need to do is sit back and wait for some hardcore software engineer / Scripter / Nerd / Bill Gates / Penguin Geek to come up with all the ideas above.

  15. perhaps I can get some helps when I need to do the dishes and ironing my shirt.
    or go in a shop and search for an item without physically doing it.
    even better, search for an answer during exams.. that would help

  16. An Ctrl-Z function would be nice, such as when I’ve just spilled something on my favourite shirt.
    The car keys prompt would be so useful too =)
    I enjoy your blog. Have a great day!

  17. Haha. I do hope so too! I find myself wishing that the Chemistry I’m reading have little blue lines beaneath those texts that I can click on to find out what it means. Like a hyperlink.
    Haha.

  18. eh.. actually when i draw/sketch manually and I make a mistake, my 4th and index finger will immedietly flex like i want to press crtl + Z. 10 nanoseconds later i realize that it’s real life and not the computer XD aw reality blows sometimes.

  19. Eh Kenny, u looking kinda hot in the pics – a lot trimmer. Bet u didn’t need to photoshop ur pics to look good, unlike some little blogger midget…ha!ha!ha!

  20. gosh, how I wish those services are available in real life too. haha. if real life is like computer (with all the human traits still intact), our life will be so much more organized. hey, think of robocop…he used to be able to scan for things and analyze it(I don’t like the half-dead part, of course). Who knows someone will create the scanner someday…maybe we’ll be too old to use it by then.

  21. haha…. i have always wish there’s this search program that could help me detect where’s my misplaced things instead of just wasting my time to find them… haha…
    too much hi-technology in today’s life that we’re too dependent on it…

  22. Haha… And when you can’t decide which is the right road to your career just hit any and ctrl+z if you make a mistake.
    In case you forgot something, there’s always a back up file.
    Damn cool entry there dude

  23. 3041, really? The frame costs me RM225 and the lens RM300. That’s because I have myopia and astigmatism.
    Elaine, nice idea. Now get back to vacuuming your floor!
    invisibleghost, yep.
    Sibeh Sian, you want everyone to know your zip is undone?
    Hardware, it’s not how big the hard disk is. It’s how you use it.
    Cheesie, oh yes. *cough* hot and sexy bunnies.
    jfoll, as long as these things don’t crash half the time and give me the blue screen of death. I’m happy. 😀
    Damn. I actually tried entering “hot and sexy ladies” into Google’s search engine and I got directed to a porno site.

  24. Errmmm… there are advantages and disadvantages for this topic. Ofcoz, having all these ermm.. watever you call in our life ofcoz is good, you wont forget anything anymore, you don’t have to do anything as well, when u need anything u jes have to click and that’s it, food served. But relying on all these, after sometime, human being will look dump, they will totally rely on it, wat will happen in the end? as u said so, can’t LIVE WITHOUT COMPUTER OR MACHINE! I believe you all remember the movie I-Robot. I’m saying something like that might be happen and I believe lots of you hear about this prediction before right? Well, it’s just a personal oppinion, nothing against Kenny Sia.

  25. really as most my fren work in optical line so i can know all the prices for frame and lens…lens power around 1.00 to 3.50 cost around rm45 while 3.75 to 7.00 cost around rm 75 these price apply to multicoated lens + uv coat….most rimless frame cost around rm75 to rm120..

  26. This is a kick-ass post! Your mind works wonders, Kenny, to come up with such inventions.
    HAHAHAHAHA! You’re really barking mad. 🙂

  27. Love the Ctrl-Z to undone the last task. eg. fuck my bosses and Ctrl-Z…and tada! i fuck them and they don’t remember that.
    by the way, we share the same kenny name. hahahaha

  28. Too much of a computerized also not good leh. Just image if you had your shower computerized. Half way washing your hair and it goes “Idle”. You have to shake the shower head while shampoo on your hair start flowing down your face.

  29. I need the paperclip function for this:
    Looks like you’re trying to pick up a girl. Would you like me to:
    *remove your foot from your mouth.
    *Say something nice
    *get you out of here before she kicks ya in da nuts!

  30. its kinda interesting but, if all these really happen..life would b dull kenny.. (praise the lord i’m not computer freak, i still do my bankings n other stuffs manually)heheh

  31. Wouldn’t it be annoyin if u r in the middle of makin love and suddenly, the option pops out ‘ would u like to adopt a baby?’ Urgh!

  32. WTF! u used my pic without telling me!! grrrrrr…
    not like u were in poppy alone whattt… got two hot girls with u whattt (the part where they didnt look at u was true lar..)
    HAHAHAHA

  33. my lyf will be so much perfect.. luv ur blog.. kenny another question.. whats on ur mind? how come ur u’ll nvr stop having funny thoughts? haha

  34. I just found out your website.
    Websites like tis really brighten my day . certainly better than “I hate every1” and “lets cut our wrists!” blogs…
    I saw the first few comments.
    Yea it will work, computer functions in real life. But like real computers, you’ll probably have the Bs they give you as well…
    **Imagine tis**
    “I feeling lucky” so you find a hot chick. And juz when you are gonna get it on.
    “Unhandled Exception” and your computer crashes.
    Great. Now you’ll have to do a alt+ctrl+del.
    how’ll you gonna pull tt off it real life?
    -K-

  35. unique.your entry made me lauf. thanks. need a laugh badly and yup reminds me of a damn good column writer. thumbs up!

  36. Omg..i wld so love the 1st function and the 3rd function….me being absent-minded and hving an inability to rmbr people’s name…i only rmbr ppl’s name when i meet them randomly..not by a proper “what’s your name” kinda meeting

  37. i know that feeling. i used to spend a lot of times in front of my computer that i sometimes took for granted that the features could work just as well in real life. especially the “undo” part. when i said sth wrong or embarrassing, i thought it’s ok cos i could always “undo” it but then i realized, oopss, it’s real life x some damn assignment on my computer.

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