This is hilarious.

A politician has suggested to his colleagues to adopt one illegal motorbike racer each, so these Mat Rempits can lead a better life.
Now, before you guys shoot down this man’s suggestion without so much as giving it a second thought, please let me go on record and say that I think this is a BRILLIANT idea. Who cares about adopting unwanted children and orphans? Those are out of fashion already. Nobody wants them anyway.
Let’s all adopt illegal motorbike racers!

Who knows, if this works out well, next time those Hollywood A-listers like Madonna or Angelina Jolie wanna adopt another baby from impoverished countries, they can come to Malaysia. Heck, this can even be part of the Visit Malaysia Year 2007 campaign.
Just think about it. Which of the following would you rather adopt?

A sick, poor orphan from Cambodia?

A starving, HIV-positive orphan from Ethiopia?

Or that crazy lawless Mat Rempit from Malaysia?
Obviously, the obvious choice here is obvious. Right?
Those Hollywood celebrities would be fighting with each other to adopt our illegal motorbike racers from Malaysia! Think about all the endless entertainment value they’re gonna get out of them.
Don’t be surprised if the next time you flip open a tabloid magazine, you get see this photo of a new member of the family added to the Angelina Jolie-Brad Pitt household.

I heard that soon, our politicians are gonna come up with an Adopt-An-AhLong campaign.
Can’t wait.

JoyceTheFairy is nuts. She dreamt that she went to my birthday party, and in her dream there were CLOWNS. And TRAMPOLINES. And KIDS. Joyce, I’m turning 24. Not 4! 🙁 What lah.
Damn beef but I maintain otherwise can die dot com.

140 Replies to “Adopt-A-Rempit”

  1. Man, Malaysian authority is getting lousier and lousier. Seriously, it’s becoming like jokers’ fantasy land. All those irresponsible, brainless, moron, arrogant words coming out from the politicians….first the illegal millon dollar mansion, then about women wearing too sexy should be responsible for the crime commited upon them, and now this……..Are they proud of themselves for keep commiting this mistake or wat? Endless stupidity. How about HIM starting to adopt 1 first. TALK THE TALK AND WALK THE WALK MAN

  2. kenny,
    welcome…to our country! i don’t know how long more i have to endure all the odds and twists that the Government have in store for us. *sigh*
    btw, check out my blog. hehe…

  3. i have u know that i’m one of the pioneer ‘parents’. i m proud to have such a daring boy now. he is such a good boy… everywhere i want to go, he’s more than happy to send me there. pj to kl…? 10mins tops. ahhh… the feeling of wind blowing on face is so nice when we travel at 150kmh.
    he has got vision too… this new boy of mine. says that there’s a circus coming to town and he’s applying for the DareDevil job. See… Who says they are a nuisance.

  4. Absolutely.Totally.Brilliantly.Entertaining.
    I really wonder did those words even goes through that tiny brain of his before he blurt them out. Even if it does, he probably didnt notice how FUCKING RETARDED it would sound!
    I guess at the arrival hall of KLIA should be posted Welcome to Malaysia, land where you have politicians as your daily amusement! 🙂
    p.s – thats why i’ve came over to the US. They’re just too hard to talk sense into =\

  5. Kenny I agree with you. Bravo to Datuk Mohamed for such a brilliant idea. However, by suggesting Mat Rempit only not enough lah. (Even KFC provided so many variety of fried chickens…) He should suggest more other choices like bohsia, bohjan, Bukit Bintang GROs (local & international), drug addicts (should included our infamous Sixthseal), rapists (esp. those who can’t see girls wearing ‘sexy’) etc etc to suit the different tastes of our assemblymen.

  6. datuk mohamed jaffar was a former MAK REMPIT and adopted by malaysia gov.and elected become MP and u all can call him datuk MAT REMPIT

  7. mat rempit are bunch of stupid, i mean, really, really stupid no life a**holes…they ride their bikes and disturbs ppl to get attention, mayb they dont get enuf attention during their childhood…

  8. I believe that politian’s intention is good, he is helping this group of wheelie riders which no organization will give them a hoot.
    I applaud him for his sincerity of his heart.
    Contrary to the country that I am from, they will “lock them up and throw away the key”.

  9. OMG, good one! What a joke man! The politicians never fail to clowns to us rakyat. LOL. That adopted Mat Rempit of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie should be named Jolie Rem-Pitt! Hahaha.

  10. muahaha. malaysia bodoh! waste money to do this kind of thing rather than for a better purpose.
    Our astronauts going to space making teh tarik while others go to take back the soil for research!
    see the diff?


  12. seriously.. this is so degrading. this explains why neighbouring countries are laughing at our arses. not to forget, PAS’s efforts to ban pretty girls from working so that the average looking ones can find jobs. Champion lar this people.

  13. trust me kenny…i will ask our Pak Lah, Pehin Sri…Taib mahmud or whatever…or maybe Najid who is our very respectful leader to adopt before i adopt one ! =)
    maybe they will adopt a mat rempit one day ? or mak rempit ? they lead and we shall follow !
    maybe the mat rempit will be more rempit because their God-father and mother is powerful..
    maybe one day illegal bike racing will become “legal” ! =)
    i want to be mat rempit..and ask taib mahmud to adopt me ! but ithink pak lah is better muhahahahahahahahaha
    Im just kidding dude…better dont “shoot” me

  14. OMG LOL. I never would’ve thought that people can actually come up with this kinda thing. I mean, orphans, yes, but Mat Rempit’s? Lmao.

  15. By chance, watching the Buletin Utama News…there’s another suggestion from some Putra UMNO’s dude that each Mat Rempit should target/capture at least one snatch thief, so the society can view them as useful…huhuhuhu…wonder what’s next….

  16. I just realized something! Maybe the Mat Rempits can be trained to become escorts or traffic polices! Just like Sun Wu Kong right? Hehe…
    Anyway, on the serious side, if this could be done it would beneficial to all the parties. Discipline is a problem though.

  17. Great. politicians adopting mat rempits?
    so from lawless maniacs on two wheels, they’re also going to be corrupt and learn to build satay houses on government land.

  18. I totally believe in what Kenny said. If Malaysia can’t accept this, then that is just sad, because seriously, if they can’t take comments and suggestions like this, i wonder how would we be like in 2020? Going backwards perhaps. I’m not dissing my country, but, its just sad to see things like this happening. No wonder people from other countries make fun of us. Don’t get me started on the whole Malaysian astronauts thing. I had a hard time trying to explain to my fellow Australians what the whole catching bean bags and tossing tea meant, in other words, nothing. *sigh*

  19. I get your point kenny… malaysian politicians are fucking brainless. the reason for them to ‘uphold’ the mat rempit is so that they want the Malays to be ‘grand’, but infact they dare not admit that Malays are fucking brainless shits. if mat rempits are chinese, they wont do this kinda suggestion.

  20. malaysia can make teh tarik in space, malaysia cctv can see reporter’s thigh, malaysia can bomb some one if she got affair with a famous figure, malaysia can build big big house then crying say bcos old house cannot accomordate family, malaysia can adopt mat rempit?
    even more advanced countries oso cant do the above.
    Truely Malaysia Boleh with Excellent Politicians!

  21. seriously. do the politicans have something else better to do?? like blinking stopping coruption within them ?? they should adopt each other to stop coruption, not adopt mat rempits! and the mat rempits would gladly snuggle the politicians and say ‘gugugaga’

  22. our government is gettin more and more ridiculous, first came the teh tarik-gasing in space, now adopt rempit. hell of a joke. foreigners will have a good laugh at this.ahaa

  23. Ooh yeah! I wanna adopt a rempit too! When can we start? I can barely wait, think of it; a rempit who can use his bike and run over everything, including his fellow rempits! We can have gladiator tournaments with them, what fun!!

  24. man. we get to have all the fun in this. maybe can ask other countries to join us. after we rempit. we can hempit and mati tersepit !!! ha ha ha.
    so good ah our politicians, try to cater for everyone 🙂 i at lost for words; spend millions to play stones in space and now probably this idea will spend few more millions to ‘rehabilitate’ brainless youths.

  25. This brings retarded to a whole new level… way to go malaysian numbnuts… man what a disappointment hearing dumbfxcks blurting away time after time…

  26. wahseh! this Adopt-MatRempit sure listed in Guiness book of record most Laughable section. Gila, this goverberment nowadays. They should adopt huge container trucks which shows up on random occasion to wham [or give them a scare] those illegal racers. see how they feel being on the border between life and death, or better still, vegetable life.ha!

  27. Effing boh liao ah they all? Seriously, i’m gonna register to enable myself to vote, and kick those Wakil Rakyat, MP whatever, wherever it hurts.
    Then again, the opposition parties are equally stupid…
    Cry my beloved country. Having weak, absentminded, bootlickers for leaders… everything is spiralling downwards.

  28. I wonder if you did read the newspaper properly before jumping to conclusions ?
    I think the word “adoption” meant “sponsoring”.
    How do I know ? Well, let’s see.
    No politician can possibly be that generous in the first place. Adoption ? Come on.
    And to suggest adopting some dude in a budget meeting ? Come on.
    Don’t tell me you really believe that.
    I think the politician was trying to recommend rich fat asses at the budget meeting to sponsor one motorcycle racer each to partipate in LEGAL races, thus reducing splattered brains on the road side from illegal racing.
    I do realize that you were probably joking. But I just had to explain after seeing the staggering amount of idiots coming to the swift conclusion that government officials are idiots from this one ambigious fact that is most probably false, and really, even if true, cannot possibly represent the whole IQ level of the government.
    Which brings the Question.
    Is the Malaysian Government that shitty to begin with in the first place that so many people would easily conclude that they are filled with idiots ?
    Or is it really the people who are immature in their thoughts and let their past discontent with the government cloud their judgement ?
    Below here is a link of a forum discussing about ADOPTING A MAT REMPIT PROGRAM.
    So what’s the answer to my Question ?

  29. Just to clarify what I said, the dude used the word “adoption” as a way to describe buying racing equipment for Mat Rempits to participate in legal races.
    He didn’t mean that Mat Rempit’s diapers should be changed by willing politicians when he used the word “adoption”. (you believed that ??)
    Hope this will stop the stupidity.
    One can only hope.

  30. what is on Malaysian Government mind!!!
    Tomorrow i will withdraw some money from the bank and buy a second hand motorcycle to become mat ampit on the road and waiting for someone to adopt me.
    Then somebody will show off that they are adopted by someone someone. Or change the number plate to their adopter’s name.
    Aku diangkat atau diberangkat oleh yang amat berhormat dato beramar tan sri bla bla bla…
    This stupid idea will encourage more and more to become mat rempit…

  31. both sides are ridiculous anyway. i hope that adoption money aint coming from our taxes. Maybe the next step is to provide ahlongs with legitimate mone y lending licenses. Holy shit, maybe let them open a bank!!!!!

  32. One thing u got it wrong… they will NEVER EVER EVER adopt an ah long… never in this universe lifetime… they could bring the whole country down for rempits but never ah long…

  33. ya, what the heck is on those politician mind..think before you speak, dont ruin the image of Malaysian and let us suffer in being labelled as citizen having shallow and uncivilised mindset..wonder why the voters voted him..what a shame..

  34. damm you kenny…u say put name in comment, can go party…but my name is not in the invitation list when my fren help me to check le..damm liar la you..present oledy buy liow den cannot go in..Zzz..knn la…i keep for myself la the N-73
    Kenny sia = knn sai

  35. Seriously I think Malaysian politicians are being paid too much to come up with such ridiculous ideas! First it was some tossing roti canai or teh-tarik in space and now adopting these road menace.
    WTF! Nowonder our country is forever the laughing stock. We’re no better than Africa. I bet you even people in Africa can come up with better ideas than our politicians.
    I’m so angry at them that it’s not even funny. Seriously. It’s a fucking waste of tax payer’s money. I pay my hard earned taxes for these mofos to talk crap at parliament/press conferences.
    I’m moving out and yes I’m heading down south. At least I know my taxes are not being abused for some grand istana or some idiot to go space to toss roti canai/spin gasing or to build a sports complex in UK for them to train near the London Olympic site so that they can get used to the cold weather when the damn olympics is held in the SUMMER!

    Nice to see that I got your attention.
    The real idiots are the ones who couldn’t understand what the politician really meant, no ?
    Read carefully.
    The real story was that the politician suggested the idea that other politicians should sponsor Mat Rempit’s in LEGAL RACES.
    Sponsoring, as in getting bikes, proper equipment, and entering fee.
    (not feeding them and changing their diapers, you were stupid enough to believe that !?)
    Again, I hope my comment helped stop the stupidity in here. What Kenny Sia wrote was just a joke, you idiots.
    Who’s the real joke now ?
    Damn, kenny, great post, the comments afterwards was a joke itself.

  37. Nicevil,
    What makes you think that by sponsoring these bunch of street thugs would make them turn over a new leaf?? So you reckon they’re now going to be sponsored with bikes and equipment…what makes you think that these “politician sponsored” bikes and equipment won’t be used in illegal stunts and races by these people who obviously have anti-social tendencies in the first place??

  38. wow…our government never cease to make malaysians a laughing stock for the whole world.
    first it was giving drug addicts needles and condoms. now it’s ‘adopting mat rempit’. i can see MALAYSIA are really TAK BOLEH bcos it seems the government is adopting a ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ system.
    so what’s next? adopting ‘rapists’?
    teach them the correct way of raping???!!!
    i dare not imagine.

  39. I’m very sure many poor countries like those in Africa would love to have the kind of resources that Malaysia have. It’s sad to see how our politicians are squandering whatever little oil reserves we have left on things like a multimillion ringgit sports complex just for the cold weather, a super-duper istana, and now this. The money could have gone to upgrade our federal and state roads, build more schools and by really implementing the NEP in essence. It’s time for these politicians to come up with better ideas for the people, not just thinking for their pockets.

  40. wow…our government never cease to make malaysians a laughing stock for the whole world.
    first it was giving drug addicts needles and condoms. now it’s ‘adopting mat rempit’. i can see MALAYSIA are really TAK BOLEH bcos it seems the government is adopting a ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ system.
    so what’s next? adopting ‘rapists’?
    teach them the correct way of raping???!!!
    i dare not imagine.
    this writer is really stupid, i hope u will not give this comment if u are drug addict

  41. DO the politicians now aday Use their brain to think b4 they speak out something on public? My god..Is this so call Malaysia Boleh?

  42. Ogd, when did I ever promote the idea about sponsoring illegal racers to partipate in legal races ?
    I’m just wanted to point out the FACT that the IDIOT POLITICIAN EVERYONE IS LASHING AGAINST isn’t that IDIOTIC.
    He was just using one word wrongly.
    And the FACT is that the real idiots are people who don’t even care to try to understand what the politician was trying to say.
    Just because he’s a politician makes him your natural enemy or something ?
    So many people here are are asking the politician to get some brains. I think it’s the other way.
    I don’t support any mat rempit programs or anything. But I am totally against MASS STUPIDITY, as demonstrated here alone in this comment section.
    Ogd, you explained to me that the idea won’t work because MAT REMPITS are hard assholes who won’t turn into happy law abiding citizens.
    Well, sure. I totally agree.
    Who ever said that the program was designed to help them become decent people ??
    I think the whole program’s purpose is to reduce splattered MAT REMPIT brains on the road.

  43. when i grow up, i’ll be prime minister and stop this nonsense.
    these jokers won’t stop coming up with ingenious ways to waste taxpayers’ money.surely there are other ways to curb this problem?
    what? u actually think these politicians are going to adopt/sponsor/whatever these rempits from their own fancy wallets?
    i don’t know about you, but i hate to see the govt use my hard earned money to buy these mat rempits a new motorbike.

  44. Comparing splattered brains on the roadside, or a rolling body with broken bones on the race track, which one do you prefer to watch ?
    I guess that’s the whole motivating thing about this program. The number of young idiots dying in the road from cheap racing thrills, is enough to flood a small house with brains.
    And that’s a really sad and stupid thing.
    New motorbike ? I was thinking more of motorcycle helmets. (with politician’s face, of course. advertisement !)
    Waste of money ? I think that’s about 0.000000001 malaysian ringgit per malaysian.
    (by the way, if you’re saying “let those idiots die lah”, you are a fat asshole with no heart and brains)

  45. Saye adalah syaitan rempit bukan anak rempit.
    Tau baca perkataan “evil” tak, huh ?
    Apalah lu.
    Mau lumba ngan saya ? Ok !
    No problem !
    Tetapi kamu mau lumba kat mana ? Takde cakap mana mau lumba mengapa panggil aku lumba ? Bodoh ka ?
    Kamu ada dua nama kah ?
    mat rempit atau rempitmoto ? apa ini ? Sangat bodoh ka ?
    Belasah kang baru tau !

    alamak !!
    Jangan nangis… saya cakap suka suka saje janganlah nangis…. saye tak boleh tengok perempuan nangis punya…. “nice” syaitan rempit tau…
    Jom gi neraka sama sama. 😀

  46. Yo, Mosha.
    Is that “Shut the Fuck UP…u MORON FAT ASS..BIATCH” directed to me ? Had to make sure.
    I mean, there are plenty of idiots here complaining about how idiotic the government is based on one false fact they believed.
    Which Moronic Fat Ass Biatch do you want to SHUT THE FUCK UP ?
    Okay, okay.
    I hear you.
    Oh, the pain I go through to educate people.
    Someone hand me a tissue to wipe my shit.

  47. I share your views on this matter. I used the same example of Ah Longs to talk sense into some of my friends as well. Scum like the mat rempit should be classified in the same group as the ah longs and gangsters, but just because (I’m pretty sure) 99.99% of the rempits are of the majority race, the government is being biased. And the current issue of the malays owning 30% of the country’s economy is just plain stupid. So kudos to you for having the balls to speak out on such a public blog. Maybe this will knock some sense into the thick minds of our country’s politicians and start helping the 3 major races of this country REALLY live in harmony with each other without behind-the-back racist jokes.

  48. “Those Hollywood celebrities would be fighting with each other to adopt our illegal motorbike racers from Malaysia! Think about all the endless entertainment value they’re gonna get out of them.”
    No need for the politicians to sponsor them! Just ask Justin Lin, Neal H. Moritz and Chris Morgan (Director, Producer and Writer of Tokyo Drift) to star them all in the next Fast and Furious Movie.
    Now what should we name it? KL Superheroes? After all, they do Superman stunts all the time. ^^; (snagged off JJ and Rudy’s Mat Motor remix)
    This is killing me, humour-wise. Good post Kenny.

  49. Haih…Mat Rempit is Mat Cemerlang mah…so the person who adopts a Rempit will be as “cemerlang” as the Rempits!
    For me, I want an “Adopt-A-KennySia campaign!!.:j/k

  50. The HIV kid’s picture is heart wrenching…
    Btw, msia gov is indeed creative. And so do you to come out with the ahlong thing..hahaa

  51. There is some damn mat rempit who reply this article and trying “its” best to defend the reputation of mat rempit,haha!!! Look at those mat rempit, it was not only nuisance,it makes people look down upon them. Initially i feel pity for the motor biker becoz they are r “miskin” and can’t afford a car. But now i feel like wana bang them down.
    Sometime i look at those moron who feel proud driving motorbike GP,i really wana laugh out! hey it was still a cheap motorbike anyway.Even a kancil have more value than those crap.(Especially when it was rain, i can see those foolish hiding under the bridge, hahaha!!!!)

  52. OMG. The government is insane. this idea is wayy too ridiculous. and kenny, you are hilariously sarcastic. hahaha.

  53. I used to think that re-educating these mat rempits as a better and more sound solution. But then i realised that in reality, mat rempits can never be re-educated. It’s their mentality (third-world mentality), their mindset, it’s their way of life. No matter how you brainwash them, they will still be mat rempits. It’s in their genes. They go around just to ‘cari pasal’, and when opportunities come, they turn small matters BIG so that they can put up a fight. A small situation such as an “almost accident” scene may turn out a bloodbath.
    I suggest that the government put up a new rule that whenever a fight happens between a mat motor with a motorist, simply regard the motorist as the innocent, and the mat motor as the criminal. No need to investigate. It is mat motor who always initiate a fight, even though it might be the motorist fault.
    People.. sign this petition:
    Enforce a greater punishment to mat rempits. Whenever they get caught, take their motorbikes for good.. and never return them. There’s no need to give them second chances!!!! Let it be their lesson from the first time they get caught!

  54. hey poor poor malaysia, being insulted by those stupid idoitic rempit or whatever hell it is. please, come on man! wake up stop throwing away malaysia face and yours too. malaysia is a good country and fine. i been there before. but after what you’ve done it’s already insulting malaysia already. so please stop doing that. and also angelina jolie didn’t offend any of you right? why should you say this about her? are you crazy or what? at least she did a good one by adopting kids all over the world. can you do that? do you have the money to do it? if no, please shut up! great insult to yoursself and malaysia. bunch of brainless dude!

  55. maddox
    hey poor poor malaysia, being insulted by those stupid idoitic rempit or whatever hell it is. please, come on man! wake up stop throwing away malaysia face and yours too. malaysia is a good country and fine. i been there before. but after what you’ve done it’s already insulting malaysia already. so please stop doing that. and also angelina jolie didn’t offend any of you right? why should you say this about her? are you crazy or what? at least she did a good one by adopting kids all over the world. can you do that? do you have the money to do it? if no, please shut up! great insult to yourself and malaysia. bunch of brainless dude! angelina jolie is a fine person alright? i don’t see any wrong for adopting kids all around the world. anything wrong with it? nah, i dont think so ass~! what mat rempit, please it’s full of bullshitting. if you will to disturb others you will get your retribution. maybe you might be kill in accident or what so ever. sorry if am bad. but i just hope you will insult others do respect others. thanks.

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