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Friday, 17 October 2008

Short Talk:

Wikipedia and Facebook are such great stalker tools.

I recently got in touch with one of the descendants from the White Rajahs after studying James Brooke's bloodline on Wikipedia. His name is Jason Brooke and he would have been second in line to the throne of The Kingdom of Sarawak, but too bad his great granduncle Charles Vyner gave up his crown for a pile of money instead.

Datukship For Jessica Alba

Every year on their birthdays, the State Governors in Malaysia give out presents on their own birthdays.

The birthday presents come in the form of state titles, or "Datuks". It is a major honour to be named "Datuk" by the State Governors. "Datuk" in Malaysia is the equivalent of "Sir" in the UK.

"Datuk" is also Malay for "Grandpa". Actually, no one knows for sure why they wanna reward people by calling them "Grandpa", but I think it's because the State Governor doesn't wanna feel too old on his birthday.

Recently in Malacca, their State Governor took the unusual step to award Datukship to famous Indian actor Shahrukh Khan.

The reason they gave was that a few years ago, Shahrukh Khan (of Kuch Kuch Hotha Hai fame) filmed a movie in Malacca and many tourists visited the place as a result. A lot of people wasn't happy because they thought that it doesn't make sense to give such an important state title to a foreigner who hadn't really done that much for us anyway.

However, I for one would like to state that kennysia.com 100% supports giving Datukship to Shahrukh Khan!

Meanwhile in Sarawak, our State Governor's birthday is coming in a few days time.

I thought, while we were on a roll giving out state titles to foreign actors, perhaps I could add one more suggestion on who else to award the "Datuk" title to.

Well, there could only be one person.



JESSICA ALBA.

Now I know what you're thinking. What exactly has Jessica Alba done for Sarawak anyway?

Well, to that I say, PLENTY!

A lot of people do not know this. But many, many years ago before Jessica Alba became famous starring in big movies like Sin City and Fantastic Four, this sweet-looking Hollywood actress was actually in Sarawak filming a very low budget unknown movie called The Sleeping Dictionary.

Yes, Jessica Alba, one of the sexiest women in the world, was in my home state of Sarawak, perhaps even in my own back yard filming a movie. And I didn't even get to meet her! *#&^$@!

You see, The Sleeping Dictionary wasn't exactly a well-known movie even in the US.

It didn't even get released in the cinemas, going straight to DVDs instead. For that reason, a lot of Sarawakians never knew about the movie. It is a real pity, because it is not everyday that one of the biggest names from Hollywood come here to do a movie.

But make no mistake about it, this is indeed a very "special" movie. It's way better than whatever that One Two Ka Four movie that Shahrukh Khan did. So if his stupid movie can earn him a Datuk title, then I say The Sleeping Dictionary should at least earn Jessica Alba AT LEAST a Datuk, a Datuk Seri, a Tan Sri, a Tun and an Oscar all at one night.

And I'll tell you why she deserves it.

For those who haven't watched the movie, The Sleeping Dictionary has pretty much copy-and-pasted the script from the Disney movie Pocahontas.

In short, British white boy with a stiff upper lip goes deep inside the jungles of mystical Asian country, falls in love with a local native girl, then defies all customs and conventions to be with her.

But that's where the similarities end.

First of all, the native Iban girl is played by none other than Jessica Alba.

Nevermind the fact that Jessica Alba is the most angmoh-looking Iban girl in the whole Sarawak. Just accept that JESSICA ALBA = IBAN ok?

Secondly, while every other Iban girl in the movie wears a traditional one-piece sarong, Jessica Alba's outfit is a sexy modern two-piece sarong designed to show off her bodacious bod!

As if those two reasons are not good enough to call immediately her "Datuk Jessica Alba", check out the kickass story line.

In the movie, the white boy's mission to educate the uncivilised Iban villagers. At the same time, white boy is introduced to Jessica Alba, who happens to be his designated "Sleeping Dictionary".

What exactly is a "Sleeping Dictionary"?

This is where it gets interesting.

A "Sleeping Dictionary" is a local girl whose job it is to teach white boy everything he needs to know about the Iban culture and language... BY HAVING SEX WITH HIM!

Now isn't that awesome?! A missionary from London went to Sarawak, but ended up in a missionary position instead?

Of course, how exactly she plans on teaching him the Iban culture and language by sleeping with him is the biggest mystery of all time.

Maybe Jessica Alba's pussy is a USB port and white boy's dick is a USB cable, then when he's plugged into her he can download all the information onto his "external hard drive".

So anyway, after white boy pumped his "Sleeping Dictionary" long and hard, suddenly he found out that he had learnt a new language through Jessica Alba's vagina. Behold the mighty power of the pussy!

Kinda reminded of this Aussie guy I once knew who dated a Japanese girl. Before this, he was just like any other Aussie guy I knew.

After just two months of dating this Japanese girl, suddenly he was spurting out crap like "kimochi" and "bukkake". So I guess it really worked.

There were plenty of sex scenes in this movie which is extremely rare for a movie set in Malaysia.

Of course as far as the storyline goes, eventually white boy fell in love with the girl, adopt the local customs and gradually let go his British stiff upper-lip demeanour.

Apparently all the stiffness went down to his other body part.

So with a story line THIS good, how can you NOT give Datukship to the sexy sultry Jessica Alba?

If we promoted The Sleeping Dictionary right enough, I bet ya tons of tourists will be flocking into Sarawak wanting to learn a new language!

And when that happens, we'll all be asking, "Datuk Shahrukh WHO?"

Enough bullshit.

Give us DATUK JESSICA ALBA!

228 Comments

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She's got my first vote!!

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You are unbelievable Kenny!

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Haha! I totally agree with you!

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couldn't agree more (^,^)v

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Funny post, dint even know jessica Alba was in swak before

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I just watched this movie a few weeks ago! It's awesome! I definately agree Jessica Alba should be giving the Datukship! She would make a HOT Datuk!

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No shit??? and the Sarawakian government didn't sue the production company with a storyline like THAT??

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Lets face it Kenny. You're boring

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congrats!! ur justifications are good enough to give the datukship to Jessica Alba... enjoyed it so much... ha ha ha ha...

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get a live winkysux...
good one..kenny..!

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haha...totally hilarious!

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Maybe she's our bloody Home Minister Syed Hamid Alba's daughter. She could be Datuk Jessica Alba.

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muahahahaha......this is damn funny!!!
go go go Kenny~~~

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ROFL, great post ! love the ending picture ;)

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You're an idiot Kenny. Your dick is talking again, and your brain is obviously shrinking to pea-size

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mayb u should b entitled for datuk as well since u promote sarawak so much on d blog right? should go n ask where's yo datuksip thingy :P

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the witty KS has had at it again.

=)

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Should be datin?

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They really shouldn't have awarded the datukship to Shah Rukh Khan. I mean, of all people?? He's not even Malaysian, or saved anybody's life or even remotely related to anything Malaysian. In that case, I totally support Jessica Alba getting Datuk as well!! Kenny Sia, you're funny!

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Or if u wanna reverse positions i think kenny should temporarily convert to native iban in case some hottie from lonely planet wanna learn more about sarawak culture. I fully support 'kenny the dictionary'.

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Kenny ! I go sarawak to meet u and we together go to look for Iban "Sleeping Dictionary" OK ah ? Maybe with the size of our balls,we might also get "Sleeping Dictionaries".

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our Gov is getting more ridiculous each day. but heck, Jessica is more deserving dat dat Indian guy.

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OMG, I laugh drop dead on the USB part .... btw, I am a super jumbo USB cable, any ports interested ? ha ha ha ....

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hahaha. OMG u are so bad la. *laugh till drop*

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niama la...like that also can?
U got the torrent of that movie? Hhahaa

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How do u actually find information like this? I didn't even know Jessica Alba even existed before movies like Fantastic 4. I just assumed she literally popped into existence, just so that every other self-righteous guy has a reason to let go of their self-righteousness. xD

Well if I were to cast a vote on Datukship to anybody mentioned in this post, it'd be you Kenny!

Datuk Kenny Sia

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kanneh of cos is kenny nothing to do go online surf jessica alba nude on google and find out lor.diuz so obvious with this hamsap kenny

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Yeah

I've watched this video before

I bought this DVD at HMV which can only be found in video outlets around the UK

Kinda interesting though.

I wonder how Kenny managed to come across this video of Jessica Alba.

lol.

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i noe abt dis movie..at a vr young age..

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how about datuk bruno manser?

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I support Jessica Alba too! :D

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Watched the movie before too!

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Great and funny post... Enjoyed reading this so much

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er...HBO also show before le...i think is HBO la...one of the three Astro ang mo movie channels luh...haha

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yes
datuk datuk for jessie

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I have watched this movie long long ago.. in 2003. my housemate borrowed it from her classmate, Sarawakian boy. Just because we didnt believe him about Alba filming in Sarawak and we wanna see how Alba looks like in Ibanese attire and how she utters some local words..

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I like the part when Jessica said," susu " then she hold her breast! Hahaaaaa... I can't imagine if all the Hollywood star come to malaysia to make movie with the intention of getting Datukship! I can't imagine calling Datuk Tom Cruise!

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Tun Jessica Alba! Whhhheeeeee!

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Hope Datuk Jessica Alba will sleep with me one day hahaha

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I'm sure will dwnload this movie. She's hot maa. Even morrrre hot if she get Datuk title...haha

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LOL, i watched this muvi...some with stupid translation "susu bagus" . LOL....

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She doesn't look Iban at all, ok! =____=

Else, it looks like an interesting movie. haha... must go find the torrent.

And lolz at the USB port. hahahahaha

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yeah..this movie was actually aired in astro movie channels.. I forgot whether its hbo,cinemax or star movies.. it was pretty boring..

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i watched this movie before..its sucks!

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i like the USB part, remind me of my converstation with my pals here in ss2.. ^^ lol

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Good one kenny.

If you actually petition her up, we may just put you in the same ceremony so you and jessica can get datukship together :P

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USB port as a genitalia? man..u crack me up!! hahahah!!! ROFL!!

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Wow, i cant believe Jessica Alba is in that movie~!!

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jessica alba once said this movie is one of the worst movie she acted.
"she was young and followed blindly"

it was not even culturally correct though the many iban girlz would love to try ang moh USB.

my fren who watched d movie said, her iban was as bad as the movie itself!

mayb we should do an online petition on this?
what say u, datuk kenny sia?

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I actually watched this movie in my literature class. Gosh, it was so awkward to watch the UNCENSORED scenes together with all the other students.

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thanks for this..i laughed my ass off at the office.. i think my boss thot i was crazy..hoho..

jessica's pussy is usB port..gaahahahahahah!!

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*runs off to Mr Hos*

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Kenny boy..

For spreading her USB... I meant, her cultures, so well.. she certainly deserves the title!! :) :)

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how come jessica looks like dawn yang so much in the movies...did dawn inspire to be just like her?

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oo i watched that movie before!!! it came out on HBO few years ago!!

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INDIAN MOVIES SUCK!!! SORRY INDIANS BUT THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING FACT, SO ACCEPT IT!

-SAME OLD BULLSHIT STORY LINE
-RIDICULOUS STREET FIGHTER'S FIGHTING SOUND EFFECTS
-BAD GUYS DANCING WITH GOOD GUYS HALF WAY THROUGH THE MOVIE
-PICTURE QUALITY OF 2 MEGAPIXLES VIDEO CAMERA PHONE
-ETC

WHO THE FUCK NEVER SEEN THESE SHITS BEFORE?

NO WONDER THERE IS SUCH THING CALLED BOLLYWOOD, BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRIED, THEY WILL NEVER MAKE IT TO HOLLYWOOD.

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Hey, read this guys! We have the longest 'stick' in the world! Insect lah!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081016/ap_on_re_eu/eu_britain_very_long_bug_1

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guess nobody here realises that all the nude/sex scenes in the film are not jessica? its a body double, in case you don't know,.

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tony on 5.45pm,
how do u know then?

i never heard of this movie until today =.=

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I found her in this film while watching youtube,I watched this movie last year. Jessica in this movie is actually has mix blood,daughter from also a sleeping dictionary mother and her father an English High ranking officer.

Rumour said that she use a double body for this movie love scene and she did talk a few words in Iban. Sound sexy hehe.

Finally, the couple fled to deep into the jungle to escape from English army.

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Dear Kenny and readers,

Though I don't personally think Shah Rukh Khan deserves a datukship, but contrary to what many people think, Shah Rukh Khan did have an impact on Malaysian tourism, much more than most Malaysians know. (Firstly, I hate doing this, but since most Malaysians are trapped in a racial mindset, let me come out and stately directly that I'm not Indian)

Shah Rukh Khan is the biggest, or only second to Amitabh Bachan in Bollywood, and as one of my former profsssors was right to point out, Bollywood is not smaller than Hollywood, though we all watch more Hollywood movies. If you don't believe, think why would Hollywood and people like Steven Spielberg inked a deal of partnership with Bollywood. Consider also the fact, that Bollywood awards are now hosted internationally (once in genting, yes), but also in LOndon, one of the most expensive citiees in the world. If there isn't money in Bollywood, they won't go to LOndon. Also, as some Brits will tell you, Bollywood has an increased visiblity in UK, and are watcched by the so called 'angmoh' Brits as well.

Secomdly, when you calculate the Indian market, which also includes Pakistan and Bangladesh, the Indian movie market is more than 1 billion (fact), while not forgetting the large Indian dispora, mainly in the US and UK. With a star like Shah Rukh Khan, who along with Atmiabh Bachan were voted in a world wide poll to be among the top 10 movie stars in the world (fact). Having met well heeled middle and upper class Indians who travel to Malaysia, you would be surprised to find out the impact and influence of Shah Rukh Khan who in shooting a movie in Malaysia makes Malaysia stick in the minds of Indians. I even met an overseas Indian family residing in Australia, and they all came to Malaysia for holidays, and as a family, rather than Europeans who holiday more as individuals and couples, they end up spending more in Malaysia.

I hope this will help clear up misconceptions and open people's minds a little. Thanks.

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well i've always telling my ang moh friends malaysia is a wonderful place with full of fun. i guess i'm entitled for a datuk title too.

malaysia humor board

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she was the most angmoh look in sarawak becos in the movie her real dad was british ma.

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Teah, I have watched that movie.
It was fantastic! She is so sexy & gorgeous.
Even lady like me adore her.
I am her big fan too.
Agree with you Kenny, she just deserves the title!

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0__________o

I WANT THE MOVIE..!

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Your photoshop skill is just excellent for the last piece here, transforming Jessica to be a new found Datuk.
Ha...Ha..
Look like I got to learn some tricks from you:)
What is your secret?

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YEAHHHH

I support that idea whole-heartedly!

And with the Datukship, Jessica Ala will have to come HEREEEE


And then we can see her again! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Kennysia is so out-of-date...for showing off this piece of post. Nothing else to blog kah? Plus u are making fun of her indirectly. Instead of thinking u are praising her with ur 'Datuk' post. Now more datuks in Kch go horny bcos of u..imagining her naked. U're not respecting. Asshole blogger. Celebrity konon.

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Was on HBO woad. I didn't even bother to watch. LOL

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Aye aye.
Totally in favor of it

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Convincing argument Kenny, though I think the title datuk is beneath her.

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haha i remember my late grandmother auditioning for this movie before...

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The SLEEPING DICTIONARY --- What a stupid name.

So whenever a guy wants to look up for a word in the dictionary, all he has to do is sleep (screw) a woman and the next morning, he is fully equipped with new vocabularies.

Oh wait --- This IS what the movie is all about.

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to OBAMA IS OSAMA.

Thats the speciality of indian movies.you dont enjoy it then don't hate it.some people enjoy watching it.and if you want to hit me back saying that im an indian supporting my culture.no.im a chinese who sometimes turn to ZEE tv on astro and find it nice to watch hindi and indian films.what " dreameridiot " said is true."OBAMAISOSAMA"you said indian actor dont make it to hollywood?
malika sherawat did..
aishwarya ria did...
snoop dogg made songs with the punjabi's
now steven speilberg coming to bollywood.the world is coming togather.Only you kind of people will ruin it.and argue your case based on facts.dont simply say.

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i know about the movie too!my cousin worked s the movie crew..bt i never know it was jessica alba..lolz..it has been sooooo many years already..

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wow... i watched tat movie b4 but i did not knew the gul was Jessica...!!! She really does look lik a local gul... OMG... nice one kenny...!! haha...

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I met her while they were filming in Kuching, back in 98-99! She was in the bar in Hilton with her entourage, and she was as beautiful and sexy then as she is now! By the way, Jessica Alba is actually half-IBAN in the movie ...

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I have actually seen this movie twice on TV...Oddly, if I remember correct, I watched it on 2 different countries hotel cable TV.

Its not a great story line, but it was amusing to hear Jessica Alba speak in BM-ish/Iban language....heheh...

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this is hilarious HAHAHAH

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The real kennysia is back.

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interesting fact. that's for enlightening us Kenny. LoL

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She is from Sarawak? are you serious...
Wow...

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HAHAHAHA.

KENNY SIA YOU ARE SO AWESOME MAN!

Who would have ever thought of Jessica Alba for Datukship! HAHAHAHA BUT I VOTE HER!

hottest datuk alive!

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lol, kenot tahan u la with da usb port and cable thing>_

keep it up kenny!!!

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FUCK UP ALL KENNY SIA HATERS. I LOVE KENNY SIA FOREVER. KUCHING KIA FOREVER.

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LOL, Kenny, I never watched this movie b4, maybe i did but i can't recall it back? well, what i think is, since this is a movie talk bout USB port and USB cable stuff.. i don't think they will desrve to get it lor.. and malu if Governors in Malaysia really wanna give the Datukship to Jessica.

How they going to tell the Malaysian?? "We giving Datukship to Jessica Alba coz she act movie at Sarawak before,eventhough that's a porn movie??"

LOL~ i can't imagine that...

Sorry if I get it wrong bout the movie, coz i really dunno the real story.. :P and haha, i think i will watch it as a comedy in the future..

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LOL, Kenny, I never watched this movie b4, maybe i did but i can't recall it back? well, what i think is, since this is a movie talk bout USB port and USB cable stuff.. i don't think they will desrve to get it lor.. and malu if Governors in Malaysia really wanna give the Datukship to Jessica.

How they going to tell the Malaysian?? "We giving Datukship to Jessica Alba coz she act movie at Sarawak before,eventhough that's a porn movie??"

LOL~ i can't imagine that...

Sorry if I get it wrong bout the movie, coz i really dunno the real story.. :P and haha, i think i will watch it as a comedy in the future..

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FUCK YOU.

you're fucking racist. first of all, have u even watch one two ka four to call it "stupid"?? go to fucking hell.
i have watched one two ka four AND the sleeping dictionary and to my humble opinion, one two ka four was MUCH, MUCH better. well, at least it's not a cheap, kinky, slutty pochahontas remake.

i'm not trying to say he deserves it, cos shah rukh khan didn't help melaka in any way. neither did jessica alba's tits cos no one fucking knew about the movie.
sorry if asian movies don't live up to your ang moh standards.

secondly, you were SO defensive about ahmad ismail not acknowledging chinese in the right manner. but i've been your reader for 3 years now and NOT ONCE have you made a banner for your site during diwali or vaisakhi. so what if it's not a public holiday in sarawak. indians still do exist in malaysia and some of them actually read your blog. after all, you make gawai dayak banners. how many of your readers are iban/bidayuh/kayan/wtv??

eat shit lah you.

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Caspian, "after all, you make gawai dayak banners. how many of your readers are iban/bidayuh/kayan/wtv??"

What is ur point exactly???

WTF man?! Are u some sicko racist??? So shallow la u!

Btw, Bidayuh & Kayan don't celebrate Gawai, boo! Pls don't talk $#it la man.

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datukship for richie ren and sammi cheng for promoting pulau redang in the movie "summer mo mo tea" many years ago??
Many ppl went there after watching the movie and up to today, ppl who havent been to redang-ppl in HK and taiwan or even from china wld have been introduced to the beautiful island after watching the movie starring richie ren and sammi cheng.
im a singaporean and i got to know about pulau redang after watching "summer momo tea" and was anticipating to go there some day which i did.

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she was supposed to be the ang-moh-looking ibanese cause apparently her mother was the past sleeping dictionary and her father was the past ang-moh missionary that had already gone back to london. mixed gitu you see.

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Kenny, thus is your funniest post in a long time.
Your comic timing in this piece is impeccable. The build-up is perfect, and the punchlines are hilarious. THIS is the kind of writing that made you into a superstar blogger.

"USB port"... classic. You give new meaning to the word "dongle"!

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Caspian, "i've been your reader for 3 years now and NOT ONCE have you made a banner for your site during diwali or vaisakhi."

I have been blogging for 3.5 years and every Divali or Deepavali, I have put up a banner. If you missed it, here's the link.

http://www.kennysia.com/images/banner-deepavali.jpg

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Datuk just a cheap Award la...as long as you got this $$$ you can become datuk...
long time ago Mahathir said.if you throw one stone you can hit two datuks head.for me nowadays, if you throw one stone you can hit 4 or 5 datuks head.what a cheap award!!!

"TUN is equivalent to SIR" not datuk

from,
Datuk jessica alba.
Datuk sean connery & Datuk catherine zeta-jones for Entrapment movie.

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@caspian,
"you were SO defensive about ahmad ismail not acknowledging chinese in the right manner".

U are truely racist! suddenly talk about racist thing.stupid!!
sorry,S'wak state are not Public Holiday on deepavali.

We,
iban/bidayuh/kayan/kenyah/penan/punan/murut/melanau/lunbawang/bisaya/kedayan/kelabit/chinese/s'wak indian & many more as "ONE SARAWAKIAN".

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Yeah i'd watched the movie...not bad! The sex scene is quite a break out for Malaysia!!

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it's the funniest post for the year.

thanks for promoting this movie; i'm sure i can find it on torrent.

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I live in the states n. Didn't even know this movie existed!!
Now I bet everyone will watch it

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OMGGGG I got a personal reply from Kenny!!

and uh...
Ok, so I missed it. Sorry, Kenny.

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stupid la u A4. therez no such thing s sleeping dictionary la. they juz make up dat kind of a story. dunno la other natives in other countries. but not in sarawak. not da DAYAKS. dun play2 wit da DAYAKS.

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oh...btw. 2 caspian...

chill la wei. dun take things 2 seriously...

[^^,]

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Yo! I watched that once before last year on ASTRO HBO.

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chill pill

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dunno if u'll undrstd wat im bout 2 say 2 u kenny...huhuhu

sabar jak kenny. tanah moh nyaa munok. nyaa munok jeles nudu muu. singaji eh nang muu watinoh. oni2 pun, nai negeh oni de patut muu nai. okuk suka basa blog muk tih. nyam okuk sedih, msti kuk basa blog muk. hapy palik mokuok noh...huhuhu. arap dapod bidapod duoh muu lain kali...

sengaja ku ken. sak org lain sik tau pa ku padah. nanya kwn kau kat kuching ya. sure sum of dem will noe wat im talkin bout...hehehe

[^^,]

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f

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shouldn't her be 'datin'

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LOL hilarious post!

and personally I think its jsut dumb how he could get datuk just like that. couple of years later tourist will forget about the movie set sharukh khan is acting in

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oh how about datuk kennysia for all the tourists that would come to sarawak to visit the place superstar kennysia lives in? XD

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I think your post has created outrage among Indians especially Shah Rukh's fans. Come to think of it, it is the Malaysian government who is stupid, not Shah Rukh, and he didn't film the movie just for a datukship. After all he doesn't live in Malaysia and this title carries no meaning outside of Malaysia.

While you maybe right in pointing out that it is not appropriate, but please don't say anything that may sound offensive to our Indian friends, even though that may not be your intention.

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Brilliant, Kenny.

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Datukship for Kenny Sia?

It’s not the first time Kenny had said something offensive about the Indian and least his patriotism with derogatory remarks on Sarawak. Loyal readers (disgusted) of his past blog entries should remembered about presumptuous hearsay he made on roti canai, transvestites, Islamic banking, etc. all under the pretext of humors.

Datukship for Kenny Sia??? Nah...not even came close for Temenggong of Kuching City South.

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the movie wasn't that bad..
but the naked scene used body double...
wish Jessica would really naked in it..
translation was sucks.. not the Iban language not all..

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aiyoyo... why so many sex stuff nowdays

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how can 1 go past the humour of this blog ... well written and the satire is lethal. How can certain readers imply that Kenny was bagging Indians - he was obviously bagging the ludicruousity of awarding SRK a datukship. The reason given by the Malaccan governor is weak to say the least. Plenty of foreign movies have been filmed in Malaysia, and to award one for the reason given would be implying that the others did not draw in tourists to Malaysia. Maybe the Malaccan governor ran out of ideas? Wanted to appease the MIC?

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Haha.. I guess she will be a datin instead because datuk-datuk in Malaysia sure compete among each other to get her.. :P

And your last pic... cool!
:D

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wow. kennysia u damn shallow le.

after even clicking on ur site, my IQ dropped down by 4 folds.

ah beng ah lian think ur damn funny wei. and that's the only ppl u can attract in ur traffic. fret not, bengness and lianness never die out in msia with u and the shallowness of kennysia.com around.

cheers, buddy =)

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I watched this movie few years back on Astro Star Movie!

great movie!!

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got USB hub?

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Frankly speaking,if u pick up a stone and throw it and i am sure it will end up hitting a datuk.So freakin common nowadays.This datuk title has lost its "elite" status.Its kinda stupid to associate it with the "Sir" title.To qualify to get knighted,you need to contribute alot to the society,and it happens once in a few years and you can only qualify if you are recommended by high ranking people who can contact the queen herself directly...............SO GET JESSICA ALBA A FUCKIN TUN TITLE DUMMASS GOVERNMENT

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That shah guy must be laughing his ass off at the government.I mean,he gets a fat paycheck for acting ,it wasnt his decision to act in Malacca and he gets a datukship by ACCIDENTALLY promoting Malaysia.

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Moonboy

MoonBoy Hardstyle:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpIAcRkbS6Q

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Hahahahaha!!! you did it again!

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awesomely funny post is awesome

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jackie chan couldnt even remember himself filming a movie in KL for Police Story...

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Not to forget to include Datuk Sir Sean Connery and Datuk Catherine Zeta-Jones for the film "Entrapment" (1999)- (for promoting Petronas Twin tower, KL) Datuk Gene Hackman and Datuk Danny Glover for the movie "Bat 21" (1988) which was filmed in Sabah, Datuk Nick Nolte for "Farewell to the King" (1989) for promoting Kuching, Sarawak.

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I watched this movie before!

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Caspian: I'm dayak. and im reading kennysia. i enjoy the gawai banners kenny put up some time ago.

kenny: touche. i enjoyed the post. keep it up!

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i wanna watch this movie!! kenny is a smartass :P

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They played the movie on HBO, or cinemax, or something a few years ago. I was still 12 or so then. I watched it and was lyk, WTF that's Jessica Alba!

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This post is really one of its kind!!

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isit just me or is ms popaghandi on the left of jassica alba in the dancing pic and on the right in the pic w the umbrella.

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HAHAHAHA! agree!
btw
thx alot kenny!

I nvr knew dat sex scene pic of her came from this movie! im gona order it!
cheerS!

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Wow Kenny, that's a little explicit, don't you think?

Besides, don't we have to get the rights to post all those screen shots from a movie? If that is indeed not necessary, I'll be building a movie review blogs with dozens of screen shots soon :)

However overall, this post IS funny. The movie is not as unheard of as you have portrayed it to be, but I am sure it is not a famous one either.

Go Kenny, I'll rather have Datuk Kenny Sia instead of Jessica Alba.

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LOL LOL. The best thing to do on a chilly autumn day is to sit in front of the PC with a hot cup of tea, reading nonsensical stuff that cracks one up,i.e. Kenny Sia.

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Clara: congratulations.

I've been very very bad. I need a good, hard spanking.

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hahah if u go search it up in youtube, u'll find out that when he kisses her boobs, she translates it as "susu"... nice.......

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Best laugh I had of the day:

Reading the following line:

Maybe Jessica Alba's pussy is a USB port and white boy's dick is a USB cable, then when he's plugged into her he can download all the information onto his "external hard drive".

Thanks for making my day. :)

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"As if those two reasons are not good enough to call immediately her "Datuk Jessica Alba", check out the kickass story line." - Kenny.

--------------------------------------------------

Kenny,

No need any kickass story line. Pure porn movies will do. Hmmm......what about Datuk Jenna Jameson?

:)

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i see her susu(breast).

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You rock Kenny! Kenny Sia for Datukship!!!! But seriously, a lot of those Datuks are just monkeys with titles, I'm not sure whether it's supposed to be a proud or sad moment if you're awarded a grandfathership.

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GOSH... NEVER KNOW THIS MOVIE IS MADE IN SARAWAK... AS A SARAWAKIAN, I NEVER KNOW THAT!!! JESSICA ALBA FOR DATUK IS IMPOSSIBLE, SHE EXPOSED TOO MUCH, WHICH IS AGAINST THE CONSERVATIVE LAW IN MALAYSIA... JUZ DREAM WITH IT... SLOW SLOW WAIT LAR!

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u r so damn funny, but i think instead of giving datukship to jessica alba, why not give the title to u, how about datuk kenny sia,, hahaha, u has kuching city in ur blog so many times yet the yang dipertua never recognize ur effort. hahahaha

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I always thought Datuk sounded rather Star Trek like. Sorta like a term the ferengi would use or even those dreaded cardassians!. Hmmm.. Is any one a "Grand Nagis" in Malaysia? Or "Gul Dukats" maybe?

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NOT FORGETTING CATHERINE ZETA AND SEAN CONNERY....

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Hahahaha...hilarious.

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i watched that show before!! hahahaa!! it's quite nice even though it's damn old... :)

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Wah, damn funny man! ROFL. I second that.

Yeah, and how about Chow Yuen Fatt and Jodie Foster for "Anna and the King".

Jackie Chan too for "Police Story 3".

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hey, i think Shah RUkh Khan doesn't need the Datukship title lar.. it's the people here kay poh wana give it to him one, cause they want publicity through ShaH Rukh Khan (by giving him the title, maybe it will be mentioned in the Indian film industry) , instead of Shah Rukh Khan getting the publicity..

Man, don't make Jessica Alba so macho by giving her datukship.. I already wanna puke calling Siti Nurhaliza and Michelle Yeoh datuk when they are so feminine.. Females just need their names to show their good aura.. While the uncle-uncle males here in our country depends on the Datukship title..
I think giving them (Shah Rukh Khan, Michelle Yeoh, Siti Nurhaliza, or in Kenny Sia's case, Jessica Alba) this title just make them to become equals with the dependent losers..

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Isn't Lee Chong Wei getting a datukship too?

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Thats a great idea..Great post..!Ur blog is cool...!Hi this s rocky n this s ma new blog..Do visit t often for some interesting updates..

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the only nice part in this movie was the sex scene :)

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Very funny post, Kenny. It's so full of your Kenny-esque humour :D

I think Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones should get a Datukship as well. I mean, when do you get a smoking hot brunette hanging from the twin towers?

When they were filming in Malacca my friend saw Sean and Catherine hanging out at the swimming pool in a club!

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I totally support kenny on this..

i even drive her around as a driver when she was her as we are those sarawakian who work for the company in those days..

our main office is hilton, kuching and Hilton Longhouse hotel at batang ai...

well, we got very good pays in those days ...

very enjoyable moment ..

^^

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they use a lot of places in sarawak for their scenarios ...

They book few floors for thier actors and producers .. even one of the big room as their office ..

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i agree!! she should be bestowed the coveted title "Datuk Jessica Alba"!! :) *woot woot*

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wah~ a long comment for this post, what you guys talking about?

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WOOO HHooo

What happens when you have four USB plugged into one USB hub?information overflow lol!

WTF.

anyway as a Malacca blogger,
I definitely think that its a dumb act for Malacca's gov to do so.


If thats the case, why hasnt I gotten any Datukship since I have been promoting Malacca for 646437272515162 times on my blog?

Malacca government needs to think with their brains in the heads instead of their brains in their dickheads.

btw, Jessica Alba is hot. And that sleeping diary is indeed promoting the culture of Sarawak.At least,she wore the traditional costume.

www.ruionkoh.blogspot.com

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i watched tht movie before..keke...js to say this ni..=P

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hahahahaha~ it's so damm funny!!!!!
i lov ur latest post~ ^^
would wanna go find the movie to watch~ hmmm~

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oh my god!!! this post is a sure a good one!!!personally i dont think kenny really want the datukship to be given to alba..it is just another way being SARCARSTIC. *i hope im rite kenny* wat so ever foreigner did i dun think they deserve d title. unless in a more serious circumtances of course...
kip it up kenny!!

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Hey! i know this movie.. i watched it on Astro.. But sadly i watch halfway it rained and well, u know what happen... If it rains, there's no way i can continue watching that movie. Sien.. T_T wonder wat happen in the end.. haiz.. sad.. It's like a love story.. i like love stories =)

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ya, why not Datuk Jackie Chan?? Michelle Yeoh also filming in "Police Storey 3"

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I must say... my vote goes to her... hey.. if she's gonna run for MB... my vote will definitely go to her... Dato Seri Jessica Alba.... sounds gud!!!! lol

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i like your posts cos they are humorous whilse being educational. however, this one about the movie sleeping dictionary is typical dick-head way of thinking.

i am no Iban but the movie is an insult to the Iban culture.it really dont matter who the actors were - the fact is, the movie gives the impression that native Sarawak girls are easy for the taking. And the fact that it was produced on DVD saves it being widely known in the State thus creating a bigger insult to Sarawakian ethnic-women.

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God that's like news from the ancient time. The movie released so long ago. -_-

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You have the b*lls kenny! Salute u man!

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not Datuk, but we shld give Jessica Alba "Tun"

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Hhmm.. I never know Kuch Kuch Hotta Hai is filmed in Msia .. Well, how come the gal actress didn't get the "Dato" title?

Jessica Alba also get the datukship?? Hhmmmm.....

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Holy mother of GOD!!! Are you SERIOUS?! Kenny you are too good man. That post was too intense! I have so many questions and so much to say! I was wondering about the title all the way to the end...way to keep the suspense! I'm all for the hotness that is Alba but I dont really know about her acting "skills". THIS movie though!! I am SHOCKED that it was actually filmed in Malaysia...time to go do web research now. Thanks Kenny you never cease to amuse

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Woi...got ppl give GOOD REVIEW!! Must be mat salleh:

User Comments (Comment on this title)
7 out of 7 people found the following comment useful:-
a beautiful film, 30 July 2006


Author: Willow V from Spain

This was an excellent film and brought back a lot of memories of my time with the Iban people in Sarawak. The costumes, the people, the scenery...these would all be worth watching the movie even without a good plot. There are some priceless moments in it including a conversation with the cook about drunkenness and wages and the relationship between the young Englishman and the Iban people he is supposed to be governing. The Iban have a well developed sense of humor. Overall the plot is enjoyable. I'm not a fan of romances, but this was well done and gave a unique glimpse into a people who are still very much the same to this day (minus the actual head hunting).

If you have ever dreamed of an adventure in Borneo, watch this first...it will convince you of the beauty and the need to go.

Was the above comment useful to you?

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Gee...I'm indian and I ripped the shit out of shah rukh's getting datukship :P hahahah and somebody that knows....ISn't it Datin??? Datinship?? What? how? eh??

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Hmmmmm...she got it all wrong...she's hot...but she got it all wrong...

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hell yes! I think she deserve to get the Datukship more than Shah Rukh Khan. Coz she's sooo hot and...not HAIRY.

hahaha

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Hey, finally a mystery slove!!i was jalan jalan at somewhere near the waterfront shoplots, there is this art house, i went there a few times, there is a picture of a lot of iban people but a very pretty girl with an umbrella, i was so keen to find out how come the girl in the pic looks so special, i even ask the shop owner, but they dunno bout it..now when i see one of the pic here, is exactly the one!!!wow, thanks kenny:)

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OMG!!

I didn't know that Kenny. Jessica alba was in Sarawak? Oh man....!!!!

Now, the question is, the DVD of Sleeping Dictionary shall be on my list when I visit the DVD stalls and will i be able to find it easily???

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Wow ! It could be nice if Jessica Alba crowned as Datuk ! It could bring Malaysia to next level. But they don't really use the name internationally, just like Datuk Lee Chong Wei, Badminton player. He is now in Dutch Open but they never put his name there as Datuk just simply Lee Chong Wei

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I watched it before. I have the disc and watched in HBO. Yes, gimme Datuk Jessica Alba.

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Good post, if not for the sexual overtone your meaningful post could be reposted or replicated in other various media like newspaper, mags, TV etc.

Oh yes, I too agree Jackie Chan should be getting a Datuk more than anyone else when it comes to any overseas entertainer being awarded a 'Datukship'.

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y not datukship 2 ayah pin?

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Holy Phuck!! Best post yet!!

"..he had learnt a new language through Jessica Alba's vagina."

EPIC LMAO! xD

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HEY Kenny SLEEPING DICTIONARY is a kick ass movie that makes me wanna go to Sarawak more and to every other ppl heres the link for streaming online for the movie

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sorry here's the movie link

http://player.youku.com/player.php/sid/XMjI0MjcyNA==/v.swf

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HEY Kenny SLEEPING DICTIONARY is a kick ass movie that makes me wanna go to Sarawak more and to every other ppl heres the link for streaming online for the movie http://player.youku.com/player.php/sid/XNDEzMjE1MjA=/v.swf

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What about Ang Lee, Tony Leung, Wang Lee-Hom shot "Lust, Caution" in Ipoh?

http://www.funnycoolstuff.com/2006/09/08/ang-lee-shooting-lust-caution-in-ipoh/

Jakie Chan and many other Hong Kong actors/atress etc were here shooting movies before.

Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta in “Entrapment”?

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seriously... i feel asleep while watching the sleeping dictionary... Booooorrrriiinnnngggggg....

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Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta, Chow Yun-Fat, Ang Lee and Aaron Kwok also to be honoured for filming in Malaysia?

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Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta, Chow Yun-Fat, Ang Lee and Aaron Kwok also to be honoured for filming in Malaysia?

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HAHA... EVERYBODY'S A SWAK'IAN FOR YOU KENNY. BY THE WAY, NICE POST.. I TABIK UR SENSE OF HUMOR.. CHECK MY BLOG SOMETIMES, NOT SO GOOD AS YOURS , I'M STILL NEW.. HEHE..

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lots of flammers lately =(
neways i actually think jessica has a resemblance with the people in the movie n thats because she's half mexican in real life. spanish people do look like some malaysians.
but i actually wonder how did they allow them to film something like that in malaysia.

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Did you sleep halfway through the movie or you just fast forwarded to the juicy scenes?

There's a reason why Jessica Alba LOOKED like a "white girl" in this movie. Because she was HALF Iban and HALF white!!! Her daddy being Bob Hoskin's character.

I can't believe Malaysians even laugh at your lame humor.

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Datukship for me for promoting malaysia then.

www.ruionkoh.blogspot.com

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Lol..totally hilarious! No doubt you're our infamous blogger in Malaysia! You made sarawakians proud:P hehe

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Never knew d movie existed until my sista who lived in jakarta gave me a pirated copy of it which she bought there a few years ago. good thing i watched it alone otherwise it would've been embarassing to watch wit d family. i passed it to my aunties to watch but told them it was 18sx movie ha ha ha....

neways, to comment on this, i say i'm proud someone in hollywood knew abut us ibans or dayaks generally existed. maybe they were tired of using red indians or other famous ethnic culture that they went to d internet n searched on google for interesting albeit unknown tribes of asia n selected ibans as d background culture for the movie. jessica was as usual beautiful but her iban really didnt sound iban. "sepi asai nuan" sounded so foreign i tot she was speaking french.

neways, i would like to suggest a movie done by hollywood depicting james brooke. it's got a great storyline... adventurer who helps local king to quell riots n ends up ruling a kingdom etc etc... waddayathink?

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Kenny,
Jessica Alba is not going to get the Datukship cos she starred more to the modern Native. Look at her Iban costume.

I think Nick Nolte should get the Datukship cause he starred in Farewell to The King which was release in March 1989. He was a soldier who escapes the execution of his comrades by Japanese soldiers in Borneo during WWII and became the leader of a personal empire among the headhunters.

Reference:
http://www.sarawakforestry.com/htm/snp-np-kubah.asp

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097334/

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He acted in Kubah, SARAWAK. Nice movie! and kinda sad. He even speak native!haha

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Oh ya, I didn't know abt this blog.
Anyway, my name is Carol, not a chicken. haha Cause I dont bother to sign up. I am the one who posted the Nick Nolte topic. ya.

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So, how did Jessica Alba star in a Malaysian flick? Is Jessica part Malaysian? I thought she was part Latina. Oh well, I don't know much about Hollywood stars anyway.

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generally SD is a DISGRACE for the Ibans!
but if Gov want to bestow the title on the same ground as SRK, why not.

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This is too funny! What a name for a movie, the Sleeping Dictionary, no wonder it went straight to DVD!!!

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didn't know this movie existed , haha! But hey, if they can give a Datukship to Shah Rukh Khan, why not to Jackie Chan? He's definitely done at least 1 movie in Malaysia.

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agi idup agi ngelaban! i'm givin a standing ovation to her. big deeds huh? n congartulate her. surely any titles will be given without any questions. n those who dont agree can just shut up coz u have done nothing to the country. so just SHUT UP.

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Shah Rukh KanKong who? Who is that? Why is he happy to be called "Grandpa"?

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HAHAHHHAH ya i've watched this movie before.... it was on Astro like a year back if im not mistaken...

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BRUNO MANSER should get Datukship or Pengiranship for the effort to fight and to protect the Environment and the Human right of the S'wak natives peoples.

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Yeah, dawn looks like jessica alba in the pics above. Jessica Alba is still prettier, though.

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What about Jackie Chan, he shot police story in Malaysia, Sean Connery also in KL Twin Tower/Malacca, Chow Yin Fatt for King and I and lots of Hong Kong movies and videos shot here.
They should organise a grand fiesta for conferring titles to all of them.

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Yeah, lots of others actors/actreesses from Hong Kong, Taiwan, and even Hollywood movies were shot here (David Niven, Rock Hudson).Shah Rukh got his title because Tun Diam recommended, that was the reason stated by the chief minister in the press

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kenny is damn gud in making jokes.. hahaha.. i like DATUK jessica alba wearing baju kebaya.. sexy enuff.. XD

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ya, i watch that movie before. should AWARD her "Datuk" before Shahrukh Khan.:D

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Notice this movie long ago, i think it was promoted on a tv before.

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I support Jessica Alba for Datukship!

And Kenny deserve a datukship too for making Malaysia famous on the blogging scene.

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waaaahhhh.. thats the great ideas have been told here. Proud to the creatively of the kennysia!!

But why not awarded first to Jackie Chan for his Police Story filmed in Malaysia long time ago? :)

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Its a good idea anyway. She should receive that Datukship. I SUPPORT YOU KENNY!!!

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EPIC SUCCEEDED!

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Agree.

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yup.. totally agree wit u !!!!!
GO FOR DATUK JESSICA ALBA !!!

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sorry..I really dont understand what is so funny about it. I guess everyone is just blindly supporting kenny. Kenny, you are lucky to have all the blind follower.

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Wow!!
I totally agreed..
Let's give her something higher...
Tun Jessica Alba, it's much easier for the world to pronounce this...

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You won't believe this but they are showing "Sleeping Dictionary" on Channel 5 (Singapore) right this very moment.

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LOL! This is so hilarious but it makes sense!

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Yes.. i know, Jessica Alba has been to Sarawak!!! Man, i watch this on Astro.. baru ja sa tau she's been to malaysia.. i waited until the credits.. u know the government actually supported it... i think Sarawak tourism ka?

the story..fuyoh! in an Iban house again! who's house ah?

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I'm Sarawakian. I'm also pure Iban.

Let's first make it clear that I am not a sleeping dictionary and we Ibans never give out such lessons.

I never take the storyline as some sort of offence.

I think it was a great movie, with a great cast and an incredible storyline.

But the movie wasn't as much of a hit like SRK's mega-blockbuster movies that ALWAYS went international.

J.Alba might be hotter than SRK but she doesn't really deserve a Datukship for this movie.

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and F.Y.I (for your info) the sex scene in that film was someone else's body. thank you. :)

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most of the ideas in this particular movie are wrong. The costumes, dressing,

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I'm not sure that I understand this. I might actually need some help.

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Jessica is one of my favorite celebrity, I can't actually picture Jessica carrying baby, she certainly is the most pretty mother on earth!

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hmmm I am a Sarawakian. But as I understand because Sarawak doesn't have a Sultan, you can't actually get a datukship from Sarawak. The governor is not powerful enough to grant this title. Well just FYI...

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