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Wednesday, 10 May 2006

Short Talk:

I like Linda Chia's way of thinking here.

Sarawak Erections Update

KUCHING, May 9 (Ber-niama): Erection fever is heating up in the East Malaysian state of Sarawak as the official nomination process completes today.

All eyes are on the Erection Commission (EC) as they announce the candidates in the state that saw the ruling Libra Party dominantly controlling a massive 61 out of 62 seats (98.4% majority) in the State Legislative Assembly.

The Libra Party is widely predicted to "score" this erection once again, but not without some resistance from the newly-reformed Opposition.

All the usual suspects are in the Opposition. Last erection, missles fired by Rocket Party failed to meet their target, enabling the Libra Party to rule the State Assembly with absolute power for the past 5 years. This time round, the 'O' Party has agreed to give the Rocket Party a little "helping hand".

However, it is predicted that a much-rumoured new party will most likely steal the spotlight and "blow speculators away". Details are sketchy at best, but with the help of a hard-headed little bird, Ber-niama is able to bring you exclusive news coverage on this new political party known as...




The Sims: House Party

Speaking secretly from their secret base in a secret location somewhere in Sims Ave, spokesperson Bob Newbie confirmed that party leader Mortimer Goth yesterday unveiled a half-page campaign platform dubbed the Ninth Kennysia Plan (9KP).

20060509-8.jpg

Mortimer Goth discussing campaign strategies with Bob Newbie.

Due to language difficulties, Ber-niama is only able to understand Mr Newbie's speech through the help of Simlish translators. Suffice to say, it is known that the 9KP will include the following action plans:

  • All front page news items on the Borneo Post will feature Mortimer Goth's Advice of the Day column accompanied by a picture of him smiling broadly.
  • The following 5 pages on the Borneo Post will be reserved for advertisements for the Sims: House Party.
  • Assemblymen will be allowed to wear bowties and boxers in the State Assembly.

Mortimer Goth practising his campaign speech.

Bob Newbie has asked all candidates to watch out for his new party. "We will be coming up from behind" he warned.

The Erection Commission will be on hand to ensure there be no instances of dysfunction this year.

Mortimer Goth gets a feel on what it's like to be elected Chief Minister.

In the past, the Libra Party has accused the Opposition for using "underhanded tactics". Representatives for the Libra Party could not be reached as they were away in China doing "missionary work".

When interviewed, a sharp-tongued candidate for the 'O' Party who wish to remain anonymous criticised the ruling party for taking Sarawakians "for a ride". "Thanks to them, our state coffers were sucked dry," she said. "A capable opposition will pump milk into the state and give it much-needed life."

Meanwhile, the Rocket Party hopes to follow the PAP's footsteps "hammering their way" to an hard-fought victory in a climaxing Singapore Erections this past Sunday.

PAP stands for Party Action People.

When approached by reporters, leader of Party Action People and resident DJ, Lee Hsiao Loong, still celebrating his win at their Party Headquarters in Zouk Singapore, has the following to say.

"We are fa-mi-ly! I got all my sisters with me! We are fa-mi-ly! Get up everybody and SING!"

Sarawak goes to poll on the 20th May.

80 Comments

Unregistered

kenny, u do this all the time!!! make me laugh like an idiot and my dad is staring at me :P

Unregistered

Keep it up!

Unregistered

whatever happened to the 1210 in my previous comment?

Unregistered

hurhur. that was awfully great.

Unregistered

Good one mate.. Good one.. hahahaha.. one of the best!!

Unregistered

Remember, your vote is a SECRET! :P

Unregistered

Haha..nice one!
and the last picture XD

Unregistered

eRections?

Unregistered

What...
The...
Heeeeelllll?!?!?!?!

Funny and entertaining but... dude... is it really wrong to talk about P@$, K3@D1L@N, Dee-@-P and 8@R1S@N N@710N@L without mentioning the party names?

Unregistered

haha erections??? try election

Unregistered

i will start a new party call SEX party let's this erections beginning.

Unregistered

lol kenny tht was hilarious! especially when i scrolled down to see the new party and was greeted by....
"WHAT?! the sims house party expansion pack?!"
whahaha....!! :D

Unregistered

looks like someone spammed his own tagboard.

Unregistered

hi...actually, why is it 'erection' and not 'elections'??

Unregistered

eeh....why 'erections', and not 'elections'?

Unregistered

Kenny, give me your address and i'll get a group of fat ass bang on you.

Whoh!!

Unregistered

I think Kenny Sia's blog is losing its touch. Not what it used to be. Trying too hard to please now.

Registered

What is the point in voting for puppets that, by default have to support the Bedoins' henchmen - even when it is openly corrupt and undemocratic. Your attempt as comedy masks the rot that is Malaysian politics, and its biggest party - the erections.

Unregistered

totally LOVE the puns. your best piece of wit yet .. :)

Unregistered

hahahah! chun chun chun! laff c*ck like shit ah!

Unregistered

that was completely random lol! Kenny did it again

Unregistered

my reaction is probably a wee bit different than the rest: omg you r making me miss my Sims!!! I had so much fun with them, all the way till the SuperStar expansion pack where my Sim made it all the way to the top of the entertainment food chain :D Then I kinda quit. Don't make me start back, k? :p

Unregistered

my reaction is probably a wee bit different than the rest: omg you r making me miss my Sims!!! I had so much fun with them, all the way till the SuperStar expansion pack where my Sim made it all the way to the top of the entertainment food chain :D Then I kinda quit. Don't make me start back, k? :p

Unregistered

oppps... you did it again... :)

Unregistered

kenny did u register as a voter i know u support hoi che

Unregistered

HEY MAN, DID U HEAR THE ONE BY HOWARD STERN? THE KOREAN WOMAN THAT CAN'T PRONOUNCE CLOCK? FUNNY AS HELL...
U WANT IT LET ME KNOW..I SEND TO YOU
CHEERS
DAVID

Unregistered

Mr/Ms Anonymous, Kenny's blog is not to please you. Besides, u're the only one that has a problem here. You can stop reading if you don't like!

Unregistered

very chim...

Unregistered

that's a good one kenny...

Unregistered

if this blog goes silent in the upcoming weeks, we know what happen then. better get ready some dough and escape the way you did to the policemen. hehe

Unregistered

the min i saw the "lee hsiao long" pic, i burst out laughing! haahah .... good one ...

Unregistered

Ha ha ha! That was hilarious! Now every man's waiting for May 20...erection day! Oh! So that's what PAP means...thought the Singapore party has got something to do with "pap-smear"!

Unregistered

Dem! Why today so chim wan. So difficult to understand.

Unregistered

PAP huh? Xiao Lee is too old for zouk lah...

Unregistered

kenny.. ur political blog is not funny ^-^

Unregistered

I vote 1, for Kenny Sia!! From the 'Sims House Party'!!! :-)

That party better than the other parties standing for erection!!!! :-)

Unregistered

LoL! Erastions & the Sims Expansion pack? omg! Where do u come up with this stuff?
LOL hahahahaha ROFLMAO

Unregistered

oops... XD *erections*... lol. & bernia-ma! lol

Unregistered

You play the sims too? I love it~! =)

Its definitely a great way to present your ideas~! Keep it up wor~! =)

Unregistered

06.06.06

Unregistered

lol ;x

Unregistered

haha XD even my father was laughing when the names of the parties were mention XD ( he calls D*P rocket also XD)

Unregistered

hmm. amusing, although i don't quite get all the puns..

Unregistered

i completely don't get his political views in this xD

but i see a nice review for the sims ^^

i miss the game! Get hot date or any version later than that. The prime minister can be brought shopping!!!!! :D

Unregistered

U SIAO KIA!! HAHA!!

Unregistered

hi kenny,

i thought that you wanna join our party? u got a lot of supporters bah.

Unregistered

PAP stands for Party Action People. LOL! That was the best part!

Unregistered

I dun like politics. I'm always on the losing end. :(

Unregistered

trying too hard to be funny mr kenny sia lan jiao
like ur new name? :)

Unregistered

haha, nice one kenny

Unregistered

hallelujah.

i hope the rocket party wins this year. then maybe sarawak got reformation.

still, hell funny post man.

Unregistered

While we busy with all the political process... u sure made it sound funny n interesting.. but honestly.. its as stressful as cleaning the toilet with a tooth brush... hahaha

Unregistered

Ah...the Sims. Brings back some good old memories.

Unregistered

wow. that's really witty. :)

Unregistered

i dont know politics has got party! man, i should've have study as lawyer/drop out from school and join politic and party like a monkey. after party, i'll climb back to my wn tree.

Unregistered

LIARs.

Unregistered

Zouk is so the in thing now. Even Bruce lee goes there. ;-)

Unregistered

This is such a funny post :D! I think. I need to catch the ball first lah.

Unregistered

Don't know what you're up to kenny, but I wouldn't be very proud of myself if I were you.

Remember: prison no broadband.

Are you trying to arrange for an appointment with the Courts, ACA and Prison System? You can write a nice review for them. Take lots of photos okay? After all you did pretty good PR stuff for Ford eh?

Tell us how the famous Kuching "Hilton" curry and salted fish is okay?

Hospitality will be courtesy of Libra party.

You can get good defence lawyers from the Eye party.

Rocket party will do your PR work once you've been checked into the Hilton.

Oh, if you're really really lucky, you might get spanked:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vpre6XBd1k

Please, if you manage to get these invites, tell us how it went!

Registered

hypocrite, just because you're a coward doesn't mean you should make me into one.

Unregistered

We are fa-mi-ly! I got all my sisters with me! We are fa-mi-ly! Get up everybody and SING!

Unregistered

i wasnt expecting the Sims thingy to come but u sure made me laugh...lol

Unregistered

yeah~~ put ur hands up in the air!!
reach for the ceiling like u dont care~~!

Unregistered

hrmm erections or elections?? haha

Unregistered

Hi kenny - are u using benglish "erection" isit? U know arh erection can be used for certain sexual conjunction or for establishing a building? I dun really understand whats got to do with voting? pls englithentment me

Unregistered

hey kenny i din know u play the sims! lol..

Unregistered

where's the sense of humour? Kenny's cock is strong enough to help him distinguish the differnet between erection and election. THINK~~

Unregistered

OI WANKER, YOU WANT TO GET THE SAME MOUSTACHE AS LILY YONG IS IT? KNNCCB!!

Unregistered

all the lan lan lan so erection la bodohs..

Unregistered

mortimer goth is talking about the weather to bob newbie by the way.and then he went on talking about games.

Unregistered

eh, got election committee meeting in dota 5.84c also ar? XD

Unregistered

sims 2 is nicer than sims

Unregistered

i wanna play sims....

Unregistered

lolz....nice post

Unregistered

SHUT UP LAR YO!

GO HOME AND PLAY YOUR SIMS LAR. JUST PUT UR HANDS AROUND YOUR KUKU AND RUB IT UP AND DOWN, THEN YOU GOT MORE SIMS TO PLAY WITH!!

Unregistered

the mosttttt annoying post in your blog.. WTH?!?!?! nothing to blog dont act funny laaa.. annoying sial~

Unregistered

how'd u ppl laugh to this? i dun see any humour. at all. i can onli see the dj lee hsiao loong's connection with lee hsieng loong. tat's about it.

Unregistered

because u r a pathetic asian that know nothing about your countries' politic and only want to get laid and have fun everyday...

Unregistered

Kenny rocks .... he definately is an excellent candidate for hosting a show on Channel 11 Astro : Discovery Living & Travels

Unregistered

I love The Sims but my Bella Goth got burnt to death..

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