Everyone's probably sick of reading the Adventures of Kenny Sia in Phuket already so this will be one final entry about my trip.
Oh and you probably won't get the meaning of this entry if you don't speak Hokkien, so please bear with me just this once.
You know, with all that notoriety Thailand has as Asia's sex capital, I gotta wonder what are odds of Phuket sounding like "Fuck It" and the nation's capital sounding like "Bang Cock".
What are the odds of me stepping off the plane at Phuket International Airport, and the first thing that I saw was this poster of a baby looking at me with his gaping mouth, eyes wide open, and these Thai words in front it that reads like "DIU".
I sometimes wonder if all these dubious names would come up if Thais speak Hokkien.
Take an example. The most popular red-light district in Patong Beach is Soi Bangla. In Thai "Soi" means "Street" and "Bangla" means "Festival" - "Soi Bangla" simply means "Festival Street".
In Hokkien however, "Soi Bangla" is a foreign worker from the Bangladesh who is very unlucky.
It's ridiculous. Sexual connotations are everywhere in Thailand. I was brainwashed after just one day walking around Soi Bangla, so much so that when I saw this shopsign,
I was like "WAH! BLOWJOB SOUVENIRS!"
And when I saw this shop,
I thought "WAH! CHEEBYE MINIMART!"
Sometimes, you'll see shop signs that sound ridiculous, but you can't pin point what exactly is wrong with it.
I was a little overwhelmed by all these. However, nothing could suppress my laughter when I walked into a dive shop in Phuket, and adorned on the walls are posters promoting dive trips to...
What kinda name for an island is THAT?!
Man, I can so imagine seeing a yellow-haired Paikia Ah Beng squatting on a wooden bench, floral shirt unbuttoned halfway, dragon tattoo, cigarette in one hand, yelling "OI! LU KUA SIMI KUA?! KUA SIMI LAN?!"
If the island is called Similan Island, does that mean the birds on the island are called "Similan Jiao"?