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Tuesday, 25 April 2006

Short Talk:

The Sarawak erections elections are coming. 23 years as a Sarawakian and this is the first time I get to fulfill my duty as a citizen and vote in the state elections. All of the sudden I feel like Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty singing "I got the power!"

If Thais Speak Hokkien

Everyone's probably sick of reading the Adventures of Kenny Sia in Phuket already so this will be one final entry about my trip.

Oh and you probably won't get the meaning of this entry if you don't speak Hokkien, so please bear with me just this once.

You know, with all that notoriety Thailand has as Asia's sex capital, I gotta wonder what are odds of Phuket sounding like "Fuck It" and the nation's capital sounding like "Bang Cock".

What are the odds of me stepping off the plane at Phuket International Airport, and the first thing that I saw was this poster of a baby looking at me with his gaping mouth, eyes wide open, and these Thai words in front it that reads like "DIU".

I sometimes wonder if all these dubious names would come up if Thais speak Hokkien.

Take an example. The most popular red-light district in Patong Beach is Soi Bangla. In Thai "Soi" means "Street" and "Bangla" means "Festival" - "Soi Bangla" simply means "Festival Street".

In Hokkien however, "Soi Bangla" is a foreign worker from the Bangladesh who is very unlucky.

Elephant porn stars. How is he able to perform with so many people watching?

It's ridiculous. Sexual connotations are everywhere in Thailand. I was brainwashed after just one day walking around Soi Bangla, so much so that when I saw this shopsign,

I was like "WAH! BLOWJOB SOUVENIRS!"

And when I saw this shop,

I thought "WAH! CHEEBYE MINIMART!"

Sometimes, you'll see shop signs that sound ridiculous, but you can't pin point what exactly is wrong with it.

I was a little overwhelmed by all these. However, nothing could suppress my laughter when I walked into a dive shop in Phuket, and adorned on the walls are posters promoting dive trips to...

SIMILAN ISLAND!

What kinda name for an island is THAT?!

Man, I can so imagine seeing a yellow-haired Paikia Ah Beng squatting on a wooden bench, floral shirt unbuttoned halfway, dragon tattoo, cigarette in one hand, yelling "OI! LU KUA SIMI KUA?! KUA SIMI LAN?!"

If the island is called Similan Island, does that mean the birds on the island are called "Similan Jiao"?

139 Comments

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first !! haha. that was really hilarious. ^^

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lol, yeah 2nd~

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3rd...

wow! those ads signs are sooo creative.

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i'm the fourth!!!!!

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yikes...y the guy from sepet~~ great post anyways..

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similan 1st 1st 2nd 2nd??!!

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similan!??! nabei you farni la malaysian bruther!

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hahahaha... *chiopeng*..

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OMG LMAO!! HAHAH!

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Hey dude,"What kinda name for an island is THAT?" great punch line and the ending with the bird is simply flawless.

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Hahaha... Funny indeed...

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Now that's why I call a, eh, jumbo dick.

It Survivor goes to Similan island they can adopt a new slogan: "Outwit, Outplay, OutPaikia".

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

KNNCB!!!

Kenny please stop!!

That was sooo friggin funny man.. the similan one just killed me! I can't stop cryin dude..

Nice one as usual

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Now I know. Thailand porn cameramen wear red.

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Wahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Number 15 !!!!!!!!! Lima Belas!
:(

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U r so entertaining, Mr. Kenny Sia.

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Oh my.. Those signs are really awkward, now that you mention it.
Now.. Should I put Thailand on my holiday destination list?
Well, after reading your review, I must really consider.

Btw, where did you manage to dig that Jumbo's pic from... ? :P

←|←|← o {-_-} o →|→|→

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...lOst for words...

i'm still laughing after an hour of reading this....

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finally...one hella of a funny post...was laughing so much that i cant finish my dinner already

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Wahaha~! That's so funny~! You make Thailand sound so vulgar..surely it can't be that bad rite? =P

But no, I am not bored with your various entries of your Phuket trip. In fact, I enjoy all of them.. =)

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finally something amusing from kenny!! =)

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eh, there is a SIMI-LAJAU national park in sarawak leh...

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great post from fast pick up dirty minded fatty... muahahaha...

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hahhaha poor sepet guy..

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HAHAHHA

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HAHAHHA

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OMFG so funny!!!!! LOL!!!!!!

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eh..kenny...you hokkien lang ar?

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wahahhaaha, similan jiao!!

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weekean is right, apparently there IS a place called similanjau park in sarawak.. google it!

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Oh my! Hahahaha, I speak Penang Hokkien, and this is sure funny, especially the last one! Gosh, I've been to Bangkok thrice already, but so far haven't been to Phuket so haven't yet come across such funny signs.

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HAHAHAHA

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wah piang. goddamn funny lah this entry. chio kao peng liao loh. aiyooo... :D

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phuket sounds like the derogatory local Sarawak Malay term for vagina.

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sibeh funi
x)

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Lolfol

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kenny sia wants to be like rockson. But there is only one rockson and one kenny'doggie' sia. mahai.....continue ur 'sien' post and stop it with the hokkien....

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oi Jason is cute okay.. tamper his image pulak.. lol

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Similan is actually a bastardized Sembilan in Malay. :)

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Wah. You are so so dirty minded. I didnt even think of that and stuff. You seriously think too much, too much dirt stuff. But, its entertaining though. I don't think I'm sick of your adventures in Phuket.

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I think lu si beh eng...

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this is funny, similanciao phuketmak island.

Last month when i went to Singapore, we order fish call "Stim Uncle Lapan" 八叔公蒸鱼 my friend say "WAW, what is this stim uncle Lanpa!"

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HAHAHAHA ROFL........kenny u ROCK!!!

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Now I know why my mum taught me Hokkien when I was younger...to understand your posts! Thank goodness even with my basic grasp of Hokkien, I can understand. Thank goodness there aren't any more topless babe pix. =Þ

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The sepet isit your friend?..so poor thing. similan luuu..

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The thai people will make it a point to get the hokkien guy to order crab (Jhim) in Hokkien language. Jhim is a slang for pussy in Thai.

Guess you are not alone with this thinking.

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That last punch line was damn FUNNY! ahahha

Anyways, Soi Bangla also means go rent a room doesn't it?..Soi(Rent) Bang (Room) La(Lah!)

Hehhee

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u r very funny le.. !! wahahah

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Ha, ha, ha...! :D Sibeh hor chio ah! :D

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U really make me laugh until tears come out...

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How I wish I can go "explore" with you...

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"mission impossible" is funny!

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similan island is funny.. ehheheh

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oh man.. don't laugh.. there's actually a beach resort 45 min drive from bintulu called Similanjau beach ( I might not spell it right, but that's what it's called)

What a great laugh tho.... Elephant porn stars, is that for real?

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u r too cute!!! u a funny man, kenny sia.

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lol, actually right, i used to tutor a half thai kid, whose parents met and fell in love when the dad was doing some journalism work in chiangrai district. from what i understood, other than thai, the mum spoke no other languages except chinese AND hokkien, because the family was actually descendants of some hokkien peeps.

OOOOO

so maybe those names DO mean something now :P

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haha dude i just cant stop giggle

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simi lan jiao....
LOLX
wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
priceless dude!

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goddamnit. i salute your brain and of course, your sense of humour.

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chao koh phi = smelly coffee? :P

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classic entry.. Sometimes i reckon it is fun to make fun of foreign countries street names or shop names.... Nice 1 kenny

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omg, u were really sharp and free to capture those 'short-formed foul word' shop name...

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My goodness Kenny! How on earth did you manage to bump into such "interesting" signboards?

The ones on the Similan Island was the funniest. I showed my collegues your blog and had to explain to them some hokkien terms, and after a few seconds all of us burst out laughing. We like your last senteces the most. The 'Similan Jiao(s)' hehe~~

Hilarious entry Kenny. Hope you had a wonderful time in Phuket!

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imma gonna be ripping the elephunk pic off ya.

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Uhhhh ,I don't get it.
The only thing I get is those two fatty cartoons and the b.j. souvenir.
Well, at least I'm honest!! I know one must speak that language to understand.
Well, excuse me, I'm going to have my brick fart now. Sia later.

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Hahaha. Good one!

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OK. This one funny. Haha..

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hahahha!!! it's hilarious!
u're the best kennysia!

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Dog heads.....u guys like hokkien so much ah.....GO TO ROCKSON.BLOGSPOT.COM.......kenny 'dog' sia is amatuer....if u like that also laugh, u better prepare coffin when u read rockson........KNN kenny sia.....

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omg...
5th photo embarrasses me.

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I ought to sue them for having my picture on the 'Mission Impossible' towel! :-)

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its all in YOUR MIND. wakka

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mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

dude.. you FUNNY! travel more la weii...

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actually.... u know what? they do kinda understand some hokkien... there was once my dad talked to them in hokkien and then they totally understood it. (asking for road directions la... not brothel) But they can't converse in Hokkien though...

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You should had gone to Similan Island instead of Phi Phi island, its supposed to be much beautiful that Phi Phi.

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ROFL.
I would love to visit that Similan Island... just for bragging rights.

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but i think the SIMILAND ISLAND is photoshopped.

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Rofl~!! You joker

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Rofl~!! You joker

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you can get around speaking teochew in thailand.
tat's how i found my way.

and do you go on trips specficially looking out for weird signages?!

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Well, Sarawak also has it's Simi-lan place.... It's called Similajau National Park in Bintulu... I was over there for NS training... for 3 months... Imagine this scenario if i was asked where I done my service...

X: You got NS ah? Where you go ah?
Me: Similajau camp in Bintulu...
X: Ha? Si mi lanciao camp kin Bintulu?
Me: Similajau la!
X: Lu kong si mi lanciao ua?
Me: The camp's name is Similajau Camp...
X: Si mi lanciao name lai eh?
Me: Chicken ah you...

(Pardon my rude usage of words... and without translation)

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Haha similajau camp in bintulu that one i know as is in my hometown beside that kfc got another meaning in bintulu too...i also experience this kind of thing last on NS training where we on the way to kuching uitm, we stop on a town named lachau where most of call it lanciao...

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by the way whose that guy on the last pic??look really "lala"

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I was really stressed up before reading your blog... but... after reading your posting, it really cheered me up!!!
Thanks Kenny!!

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dude~!u r so fucking creative....like ur post

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wow... similan jiao... new species?
u manyak kleber... ur sense of humour as big as ur coconuts down south

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omg...similanjiao...hahahahaha~

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this entry of urs is written in a v hilarious way. i hope u deliberatly wrote in this way or else, i really think that u r someone who doesnt posses general knowledge and geographical senses.

no, i'm not sayin bad things abt u. jus that what's wrong with similan islands and bj or cb shop? they're just names, jus like u being kenny. =)

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LOL!! chao koh phi phi tour prolly means "cheap cheap smelly brother" tour??

hugh: the lala guy is the sepet fler la...

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Dem! You really needed a brainwash after this. Need sterilizer oso. lmaoooooooo....

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The THIRD time I was reading this I happened to be eating and had to spit the piece of mango in my mouth.

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yes.

write more like this.

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whahahahahahahahahaha..... LOL...

lucky the thai are not hokkien..sibei hor chor signboards...simi lan sai duo wu...

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! great entry Kenny!

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wah...tat ending damn power sia...

haha...

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Just started to read your blog and had some good laugh. But, something puzzles me:- Why do you always have to pose like a macho-man in almost all of your photoes? You aint that macho, are you? Ermmm.... your body it is, not the gigantic coconut balls that I am refering to. =)

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I can't speak for everyone... but I am not sick of your entries about your wonderful trip to Thailand. Just majorly jealous

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I'm a thai and I speak Hokkien XD

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not really funny this post. sorry. u think too much.

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kkkkk.....

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And Phuket's 2 greatest heroines were the daughter of the Sultan of Kedah (you see their state somewhere in the centre of the town). I bet you didn't know that.

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HAHAHHA...I love how so many things sound so salah in Chinese dialects.

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Ya are one funny dude leh...
Similanjiao.. haa........

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WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
i only can laugh. xD

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isn't there like a place called Similajau in Sarawak

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Si beh siao. Hehe. Good one man! Freaking good imagination and object-related-creation. xP

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great post =)

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WHATS WITH THE "AM I 1ST TO POST" THING?!?! SI BEI BO LIAO!

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Can't stop laughing..!!!

My stomach wan "bao cha" liao

Si kenny, you're so observant hor...

Mis'sio'n Im'po'ssible

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Yes, there is a beach in Sarawak called Similajau National Park. Its somewhere near Bintulu. Nice beach, but got some bad stories about the place. ={

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....why is the only thing I really noticed was....

"#$%^&*( that dick is big!" - elephant.

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You got me there at the end...haha. No kidding that was hilarious!

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I just came back from Phuket and had a blast there. Similan is actually SEMBILAN representing the nine islands in the Andaman Sea. I just came back from a scuba diving trip there and we spotted manta rays and a whale shark. Awesome place to be!

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I just came back from Phuket and had a blast there. Similan is actually SEMBILAN representing the nine islands in the Andaman Sea. I just came back from a scuba diving trip there and we spotted manta rays and a whale shark. Awesome place to be!

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hahaha... i only can laugh..

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boring blog

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Ha ha...Kenny, I went to Phuket too, The "similan" Island, actually structs my mind too.. "D O I N K"

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naughty kenny...

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aMAZINGLY funny notes on how you write about Thai language.... but amazingly, Thai, Teochew and Hokkien are almost similar....

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Hey, there's a place in Swk call "Simulajao"...sometime pll misinterprate it as "similanjiao" also

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gosh...it's brilliant dude...thai's really amazing....with "foul language"

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Damn! The Sepet man fits so well. Damn! Kenny, your sense of humour often leaves me in stitches, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Kudos.

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similan jiao.... haaha

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I just came back from Similan - best snorkelling destination in Thailand - when I saw this. So, similan island is it? Check it out here:
http://www.asiaexplorers.com/thailand/similan.htm

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I just came back from Similan - best snorkelling destination in Thailand - when I saw this. So, similan island is it? Check it out here:
http://www.asiaexplorers.com/thailand/similan.htm

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I know no Hokien, I just don't get it.What's so funny about this entry? Can somebody explain?

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Rugby laws mentioned on this site. It's a gripping sport which targets the grip strength and the active mindedness of a player. American football and rugby league are also primarily collision sports, but their tackles tend to terminate much more quickly. For professional rugby, players are often chosen on the basis of their size and apparent strength and they develop the skill and power over the passage of time. In modern rugby considerable attention is given to fitness and aerobic conditioning as well as basic weight training.

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Classical singer Russell Watson postpones his forthcoming UK tour after undergoing brain surgery...

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weyyy... wut does "similan" mean lahh ?? i wanna laugh too.. =(

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hey, it's funny at first, but after several attempts, i think something must be in your head la, kenny.

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hahax...damn funny....

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Heh heh ... I'm also saw all this damn funny T - Shirt at Bangkok ... But i'm not dare to take photo ... That's funny , Will u dare on ur body and walk out at the street ? .... Try it ...

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hahaha,

Kenny you are really funny !!!

All these Hokkien-mixed-Thai culture is really funny especially for me a hokkien that living in Thailand.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Similan_Islands

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Can't stop laughing at the "Similan" one...

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HAHAHAHHAHAAHA LOL Similan :D

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Don't know if anyone has commented on the DIU word. It's actually read as 'ngan' in Thai, which means 'job' and is written as ??? in Thai. The font used in the pic makes it look like DIU in roman alphabets.

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LMAO!!!!!!! :D

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Please go to the money changer for some Thai Butts

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