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There's this two questionaire thingies going on in the blogging community right now. One is the 'If I Could Be' meme, and the other is the 'Musical Baton'. I got both of them handed to me and I'll answer them soon.

I have nothing against memes. Memes are fun. I admit its interesting reading some of the replies bloggers have to those questions.

Yet at the same time I see frightening similarities these questionaires have with, all of things, forwarded e-mails. Suddenly, I have this genuine fear that soon... the blogosphere will be taken over by stupid people.
pps

An army of stupid people is building, waiting for the right time to launch a surprise attack on the peaceful blogging community.

Ever since their very early incarnation in the forwarded e-mail days, people who send chain letters and good luck charms and surveys and questionaires have been annoying the heck out of me.

I'm not talking about spam. Spam is another issue entirely. I'm talking about forwarded e-mails sent by PEOPLE YOU KNOW.

These are people who are so retarded to type a sincere e-mail, they rely on forwarded mails to 'communicate' with you. After a while I actually forgotten that one of these people used to be my primary schoolmates because now I think of her as 'that girl who always forward useless e-mails'.

Its the same thing all the time.

A) Your generic "I love you, life is beautiful" type of bullshit. Then they ask you to make a wish and if you forward it your wish will come true. But if you delete it THEY CURSE YOU TO HELL.
20050601-4.jpg

So what happens if after you've made your wish, and I make another wish hoping that your wish wouldn't come true?

B) Forward this e-mail to your innocent friends and one very boh-liao millionaire will give you a lot of money for absolutely no reason at all. Because you're worth it! :)

C) Some poor kid is dying of some horrible disease and some Mahatma Gandhi will donate money if you forward this mail to 500 people. If you delete it you have no heart. Never mind the fact that IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TRACK HOW MANY OF THESE E-MAIL MESSAGES WERE SENT!

Gah! What the fuck is wrong with these people!?

Sometimes I wonder how these e-mail forwarders think with so much shit clogged up in their brains. Or maybe they just get an orgasm everytime they hit the "Forward Mail" button.
fwd

This is how forwarded e-mailers get off.


Thank god for the invention of junk mail filters because now, anything that starts with "FWD:" in the subject line goes straight to my recycling bin.

Luckily for most of us, things quieten down eventually and I'm starting to get less meaningless forwarded e-mails now. But just when I thought I have my peace and all these is finally over, Friendster and its Bulletin Board come waltzing in and HELL STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN.
fstr

Oh no! Friendster is closing down my account!

Like, duh. Can you believe that there are people out there who CANNOT deduce that the message was a hoax based on its crappy English and lack of professionalism? I can't either, considering some of the people who sent me these messages are bloody University graduates.

The sad thing is, the population of morons is only going to increase exponentially.

Chain letters started from paper-and-ink. They have since migrated to forwarded e-mails, and then to Friendster. The only reason for their proliferation is because these dimwits kept hitting the forward button and spreading them. I think its only natural that these chain letters invade the blogosphere next.

As a matter of fact I'm gonna lay down a bold prediction.

"kennysia.com predicts PROPHESIES that soon there will be chain letters on blogs. And that these chain letters will be spread around by stupid people like herpes."

Here's an example.


PLEASE POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG SO THIS LITTLE BOY CAN LIVE. YOUR ENTRY WILL BE TRACKED AND A CHEQUE WILL BE MADE BASED ON THE FINAL COUNT!!!

Dear All:

This is the request of a special little boy who will soon leave this world because he has no arms, no legs, no head and no testicles. By you showing this to as many people as possible, you can give him and his family a little glimmer of hope. That's because on every blog that this is posted on, the White House will donate USD1 towards his treatment. If this is posted on more than 100 blogs, George W Bush will donate both his testicles to this little boy!

On a side note, my balls will also expand knowing that you actually listened to me... but you don't need to know that.

Just think. Instead of that little boy, it could be you one day. Post this on your blog. Its not even your money, just your time!!!

IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS YOU HAVE NO HEART!

Dr. Kenny Sia
Professor
Center of Research into Human Stupidity
University of Uranus

Remember, you've seen it first on kennysia.com!

2 TrackBacks

Kenny yestesday blogged about some stupid stuff people do which also irritates me. Now, he said it in the best manner possible. I had once sent this particular email below and had blogged about more or less the same thing on stupid Friendster bulleti... Read More

It seems like the whole blogging community has hit a wall in terms of creativity or something, so we're all recycling posts and stuff. This is alarming, you know - if this happens, the blogosphere will be taken over by idiots, then what will we do? Tha... Read More

55 Comments

Unregistered

lol can't agree more! i'm guilty of memes..but at least am selective. that's not bad right, hurm... heh :P

since you're on this topic i must mention idiots who give friendster testimonials, no i mean forwarded picture messages. like PLEASE!!!!

Unregistered

can you start a chain mail that says if someone ugly forwards it to 500 people she will become drop dead gorgeous like Maggie Q or Edison Chan when he/she wakes up the next morning??

Ive read somewhere that explains if 2 persons out of 10 forward a chain mail and it gets multiply on at that rate, it will slow down the whole internet traffic by like 6 hours in a day....thats like a fucking quarter of our day gone man...and since then i delete every FWD emails without even reading them

Unregistered

I SO agree on that Friendster thing. It pissed me off so much that I had to type out a bulletin in CAPITAL LETTERS entirely and put a link to the actual FAQ that says that the forward message is a hoax. Even then, people still continued their forwarding obsession. AND most of them are university students/school top students/intelligent people in studies(i won't say they're overall intelligent because obviously they've proved themselves stupid by forwarding those messages). *smacks forehead*

Unregistered

Heart? What's that?

Since me don't have one, me no post on my blog.

Thank you professor Kenny!

:)
mamatd

Unregistered

Not to mention the chain letter move to handphone as well...and they fear that if they don't waste their credit to forward to 50 people then they will be xuey 20 years or whatever...talk about stupidity

Unregistered

btw ban me in the chatter box for what the fuck?

Unregistered

liao, our own Malaysian Maddox... nice rants...

Unregistered

Haha that's funny. I too totally hate those chain emails. It gets SO frustrating when my Inbox is flooded with them. Grr. Idiots.

Unregistered

O M G. i forwarded the musical baton tooooo....

that makes me one of those idiots heh? *twiddles fingers*

Unregistered

*kills chain mails*

I shall now declare war on chain mails!!! Who's with me say "Arrrrr!!"

Unregistered

Now I know why I dun ever forward chain mails, maybe thats the reason ppl in teh blogsphere dun pass me any meme batons.

Even if they do I will shove it up where teh sun dun shine :)

Unregistered

Yeah! I hate these idiots too!! I always believe ppl like them will kena Karma! Beware!!

Unregistered

Sorry no time to forward.As for the chain e mail I always delete them.

Unregistered

Remember, you've seen it first on kennysia.com!

I seen forwared email and chain letter everywhere! Those idiots are potential candidate for spammer vacancy.

Unregistered

So is this poor boy the same as Ting dream of?

Unregistered

Memes are sometimes entertaining. Most of those forwarded e-mails, however, are a pain in the ass. The one about the 300 Acehnese orphans still makes my blood boil.

Unregistered

spam the spammers, that's the solution.

for every chain mail you forward to me, I'll forward it back to you 10 times. so my wish will come true 10 times faster.

Unregistered

Aiyahh, those spam filtering will get u no where someday. These ppl will have their way to get d spam all over your ass. Follow my way, in reply to spam I received. Reply to a guy friend "Hoi asshole! No more junk mail ah! c*bai!" To a girl friend "Leng loi ah, please no more junk mail ok? *muacks*"

Unregistered

U know what's worst? Some of the forwards I received are by the people in IT Sector, the very ppl who are in this very field to improve it. ~sigh~ I guess the resource of common sense is depleting to a dangerous level.....

Unregistered

I noticed that these blardee emails have FWD: in the subject bar.

Action taken: DELETED on the spot. Bah!

Just too bad they can't be filtered thru' the junk mail folder because all these idiots are your aquaintances. HOW THE HELL DID I GET TO KNOW THEM ANYWAY...?!

Unregistered

I'm not against memes! Some memes are fun. I've done a few and started a few myself. I'm against chain letters. Big difference there. :)

kimberlycun, for you, there's only one thing to say.
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a cUtE cUtE BeAR 4 A KaWaiI GaL lIKe YoU!


ThaiBoxingGirl, I was hoping to start a chain letter saying that for every person this gets forwarded to, his dick will grow by one inch. If he deletes the mail than his dick will drop off the next morning.

Cindy, funny how ppl read those junk mails, but never read your serious message eh?

mamatd, hahaa! Gee what are you? Dark lord of the Sith?

kahsoon, wtf? obviously their parents pay for the phone bill! Anyway, I've banned the IP because some troll was using that IP to spam my tag-board. I've removed it now.

vic, Maddox?

LT, do you think forwarded emailers are going to target me after this entry? heh heh.

sassyjan, ah you got me wrong there! Musical batons are other memes are fun and interesting. Chain letters that curse you to hell if you don't forward it are not.

Lyon, heh. Its like the scene from Braveheart.

Naiveguy, I'm doing the musical baton tomorrow. And I'll be sure to pass it to you. HEH.

ahchhuan, karma they will.

thquah, you are doing a service to the community.

ashie, what? Cannot think now. Need to forward mail.

Edmund, err.... no. :) She does NOT have wet dreams of me, please.

Jordan, I agree. But they seem to believe that if they don't forward it to me they'll get a string of bad luck. They never listen to what I said lah!

sandkan, now that's a solution! :) But they'll probably forward it back to you 10 times more again. ARGH! The horrors!

Joe, ewwww.

ShadowJr, in the IT Sector? wtf? What hope is there left to combat chain mailers?

ct, I know I know, that's the dilemma isn't it? Sometimes I just BAN them. Can't take it anymore.

Unregistered

.|. is suffice hahahhahaah

Unregistered

You have testicles?

Unregistered

Heh. I've still no idea why people are still posting the "Friendster is closing" thing again and again.

Unregistered

yeah some people can be so stupid and gullible.

know what? these forwarded emails by friends might cause friendship breakdown... esp. if one side, like me, is quite outspoken (and 'si beh tahan liao'). twice already friends forwarded this useless junks to me and i told them off... er... in a nice way lah... then they get angry with me saying they just want to share with me, if i don't like it, keep quiet why tell them off. then it's my turn to get angry! so putuslah the friendship.
(note: this is between casual not so good friends lah).

Unregistered

wahlau...i where got so free to spam your board wo...not like i can get money from it XD

Unregistered

im like immuned to those kinda forward thingies....that i momment i see the word FWD, i eiter delete it or click 'next'! muahahahhaha

Unregistered

i just ignore them

Unregistered

hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lol

all my emails goes into junk box first, i will slowly look thru the junk mail later...

Unregistered

good entry...

if only we can put 'common sense' and 'intelligence' into bottles and sell them... oh... distribute them for free even... the world would be a much better place to live in :D

Unregistered

i dont know why people even bother to come up wih chain emails. first it was chain letters. remember those? now emails. BAH!!

Unregistered

Actually I read that no legs no eyes no testicles no dick (or something like that) before.

But the truth of it still brings a tear to my eyes.

And I don't understand the ACSII thing on Friendster testimonials. I know I'm cute but I want real words dammit!

Unregistered

Your posts never fail to amuse me. Keep writing...

Unregistered

A religious girl I know forwarded me these type of e-mails. While her intention is good, does wasting bandwith increase your karma or something?

Unregistered

MUAHAHAHA! So fucking funny!

But there are just so many stupid people around, well, it can't be help. So i'm very assured that, such a chain blog post will be happening real soon

Unregistered

right on...

bloody stupid ppl...

esp those on friendster~~~

;P~~

Unregistered

I really agree for wat u had said about those stupid chain letters and thos spaming mails and stuffs,especially that stupid spam message in friendster.Use backsdie think also know la,even friendster really wanna close down,do they use this kind of method?I wonder how many ppl use thier brains while surfing net?

Unregistered

memes are great for boredom...Fucking chain letters though....grrrrrrr...They're not even on bulletins anymore, I'm getting messages delivered to me in my inbox.

Unregistered

I find the quizzes with ACTUAUL questions fun but those with forwarded shit that curses me to hell...well. DELETE.

But I'm lucky in a way cuz all my friends seem to have some COMMON sense and INTELLIGENCE. They don't forward chain mails anymore. Only on Friendster Bulletins. Where only a small percentage posts such trash.

I thank God for that.

Unregistered

Blasphemy... You dont know who maddox is!!!?
here... www.maddox.xmission.com

Unregistered

main difference between a meme and a chain letter is that the meme doesn't come with threats. =) I read some of the forwards I get for jokes but I definitely enjoy being the one to end chain letters these days. So far.... so good. Still in one piece.

Unregistered

i don't care. you are completing my MEME whether you like it or not. and you must put photoshop pics on it to make it look fun. BLEH

HERE YOU GO.

http://www.minishorts.net/?p=281

Unregistered

Oh.....that boy so poor..
MUST FOWARD!!!


PLEASE POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG SO THIS LITTLE BOY CAN LIVE. YOUR ENTRY WILL BE TRACKED AND A CHEQUE WILL BE MADE BASED ON THE FINAL COUNT!!!

Dear All:

This is the request of a special little boy who will soon leave this world because he has no arms, no legs, no head and no testicles. By you showing this to as many people as possible, you can give him and his family a little glimmer of hope. That's because on every blog that this is posted on, the White House will donate USD1 towards his treatment. If this is posted on more than 100 blogs, George W Bush will donate both his testicles to this little boy!

On a side note, my balls will also expand knowing that you actually listened to me... but you don't need to know that.

Just think. Instead of that little boy, it could be you one day. Post this on your blog. Its not even your money, just your time!!!

IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS YOU HAVE NO HEART!

Dr. Kenny Sia
Professor
Center of Research into Human Stupidity
University of Uranus

Unregistered

haha.. kenny u r good (=

Unregistered

LOL stop it already!!
" George W Bush will donate both his testicles to this little boy! " ->> DAMN FUNNY LAH.

Unregistered

"sandkan, now that's a solution! :) But they'll probably forward it back to you 10 times more again. ARGH! The horrors!"

no harm, i have my script forwarding mail for me, for the other 10 times back, he will receive it 100 times. and have to do it manually.

Unregistered

Haha, awesome stuff man. I really liked the last pic, very nicely done. Keep up the work XD

Unregistered

Agree with you to the full extent! Well-said!

*Impressed*

Unregistered

-_- what a stupid entry.

Unregistered

Message: from Allen Smith

Friendster's Database is running out of space!!!

Dear Friends,

It seems that Friendster's database is running low
on resources. We need you to forward this to as
many people as you can in order for us to
determine which accounts are active. Non active
accounts (those that do not forward this message)
will be deleted in order to preserve space.

Friendster has also teamed up with Myspace.com by
grouping our servers. Therefore, this applies to
both sites. If you do not spread the word, your
account will be deleted on BOTH FRIENDSTER AND
MYSPACE. Also, Mr Allen Smith has purchased major
stock in Malayan Banking Berhad (KLSE MAYBANK
(1155)), and plans to incorporate Maybank2u into
Friendster as well as converting the database for
Friendster and Myspace. Maybank has given over
some control of it's online banking services to Mr
Allen Smith and he has reserved the rights to
close down the accounts of those who do not
forward this message!!!!

Further, your IC and Birth Certificate will be
deemed null and void, thus making you alienated in
your own country!!! OMFG!!!! If you don't forward
this to as many people as you can, you will lose
the life you know now . Please, please please
forward this message so that everybody will know!!!.

Yours truly,

Mr. Allen Smith.

P.S. Mr Allen Smith said that if you visit
http://www.rateastranger.com , you will
automatically be considered "active" and thus save
your Friendster, Myspace and Maybank account. And
possibly your Citibank Credit Card too. Life as
you know it will continue peacefully while those
of the nonbelievers will turn into a living hell.

Unregistered

yeah . . .as if i care whether those kinds of email will help or not ?
If it is able to turn me on . .
then maybe i would consider reading it in da 1st place !

Unregistered

For me, i do fwd mails, but not because i am forced to or for fear that i will be "cursed to death" or that "my wish won't come true".
usually i just fwd the ones which are somehow inspirational, and interesting in its own way. I think that's ok lah. Some fwd mails aint so boh liao actually. Rather enlightening i would say.

Unregistered

I just love that final chain letter that you posted :D lolz!!

Unregistered

Well yeah. Forward mails like these sucks. I wonder why most of the ppl bother to re-forward it, when most of the time these are fake msgs. Dun juz follow blindly ppl. THINK!

Unregistered

Here is what i reply to chain mailers...

Are you one of those obtuse individuals who think that sending certain email can bring you some sort of magical whatever? Im talking about chain letters.

For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know what a chain letter is, here is an example: Hello, my name is Busted P. Mathews. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, living with a girlfriend with 26 bras on and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak show. Blah blah blah...

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of fucking bullshit.

So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Caesar in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2020, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly fucking amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

Chain Letter Type 1:

(scroll down) Make a wish!!! > > > > > >

Keep Scrolling > > > >

No, really, go on and make one!!! > > > > > >

Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!! > > > > > > >

Not that, you pervert!! > > > > > > > > > > > >

STOP!!!! > > >

Wasn't that fun? :)

Hope you made a great wish :)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure and menses from various barnyard animals. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on you that may or may not involve your pubic hair + super glue.

Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will rub viniger into your soft spots for 45 minutes. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2:

Hello and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no parents, no arms, no legs, no balls, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Pussy for a Dick Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die an embarrassing death -> dehydration due to diarrhoea. Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3:

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no internet or email back then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works...

Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

*Bizarre Horror Story #1

Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall but there were no mutant cats so she didn’t become cat woman. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

*Bizarre Horror Story #2

Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat cute adorable little kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

Chain Letter Type 4 :

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to all your friends.

FRIENDS: A friend is someone who is always at your side. A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating cat food. A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of puke. A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself. A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life. A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs. A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady. A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them (if they really are that stupid) feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to the rear end of a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?

Sigh..

You idiots get the picture? Chain letters are worse than spam. Because my damn spam blocker cant differentiate it from regular mail! Argh! So people, pass this message to all those chain letter dumb asses you know, or anyone who might find it amusing. Otherwise a transexual midget version of MJ (and i don't mean the basketball player) will crawl out of our ass in your sleep, tongue your belly button till morning, and disappear into a puff of ass gas.

Hmph.. Yea right..

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