Having someone from the family departing eternally is a very difficult thing to go through. When the grieving family was still feeling sad and heavy at the heart, the last thing they wanted was for someone to screw up their emotions even further.
In an ideal world, people would treat the grieving family with dignity and respect. Too bad we don't live in an ideal world because we live in a world filled with too many smelly assholes.
These are sorry excuses for human beings that have no conscience whatsoever when it comes to treating a family who is at their lowest of the lows. Even when tears are flowing freely, they STILL managed to rile you up so much - you actually wished it was them lying in the coffin instead!
Unfortunately assholes exist, and these things happened.
kennysia.com presents five ways how to make an ass out of yourself in front of a grieving family...
1. Steal the Flowers From the Wreaths
Yes, there are a lot of flowers in the yard. Yes, some of them are very pretty. Yes, eventually they will wilt, they will die, and they will be disposed of.
But dammit, those flowers are NOT for you!
Look. They're CLEARLY addressed to the family of the dearly departed. You can't steal those flowers. Have some respect! I don't know what you're thinking but stealing flowers off the wreaths is just SO wrong.
Hey if you want pretty flowers, don't steal them. Do yourself a favour. Jump off a tree and I'll make sure I personally deliver one right to your door - your coffin door.
2. Leave Your Phone On During the Funeral Service
Picture this scene.
Friends and family members are sobbing and crying their heart out. People are consoling the grieving family and everyone is feeling low.
And then out of nowhere, 50 Cents singing In Da Club blares out of somebody's MP3 ringtone-enabled mobile phone.
"Go shawty. It's your birthday. We gonna party like it's yo birthday. We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday!"
Gee, thanks for spoiling the mood.
So you scurried to answer your phone while we continue with our sobbing and crying. That's fine. People forget to switch their phone to silent sometimes and we can forgive that. After which we would have expected you to turn off the sound. But NO! 5 minutes later, your phone rang and 50 cents sang again.
Makes me feel like shoving your phone up your ass and teach you how to use its vibrating function.
3. Sell Your Religion To Us
This actually happened when my father was still well.
When it comes to religion, I'm surprisingly tolerant. I feel touched when people of other religion offer us prayers. I honestly think "God Bless You"/"Amitabha"/"Insya Allah" is a beautiful phrase. I'm quite ok (though slightly annoyed) when I was being preached to by people of a religion/denomination different to mine. I just respectfully reject them.
But one thing I positively absolutely terribly CANNOT stand, is people telling him to join their religion so that he can be 'guaranteed' a place in heaven. Or worse, people telling me the reason for his illness was because (I quote) he was possessed by demons!
What the foot!?
Possessed by demons?! You think I'm actually STUPID enough to believe that? What are you, an Amway salesman for your God? Wanting to meet your sales target so you can go on a 2-week holiday in heaven or something?
Why not join the 'kennysia.com religion'? Its full of goodies! When you die, you go to heaven. When you don't die, I'll smack you so hard you'll die, then go to heaven.
Possessed by demons my ass.
4. Buy A Lottery Ticket
If someone close to me just passed on, DO NOT ask me for his car plate number. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT asking me his death certificate number. For mighty fork's sake, a person's passing is not an opportunity for you to use those numbers and buy lottery tickets!
Alright, maybe I can't change the fact that you are a no-good scumbag gambling addict.
But PLEASE, we honestly DO NOT need to know how his car plate number just won you a consolation prize in 4D. Like we're gonna celebrate with you!
5. Ask About My Inheritance
I hate it HATE IT HATE IT when people ask me how much I'm getting for my inheritance.
For your bloody information, I just lost someone dear to me!
You think this is some sort of lucky draw or something? Maybe to you, losing a parent is a joyous occasion because you get to become slightly richer. But not to me.
Why does it even fucking matter to you how much I've inherited? I could have received RM2.54 in total for all I care because you know what - NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE MONEY!
Get a life. Literally!