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Tuesday, 19 April 2005

The Hustlergate Scandal

This entry is not-safe-for-work, so make sure your boss, workmates, husband, wife, sister, brother, children and doggie are not around you before you continue reading.

I hate the Malaysian blogging community sometimes. Seriously I hate it.

I look at Singapore's blogging community and I see the constant cracking of jokes, parodies, laughter, and harmless sarcarsms. I look at the blogging community I'm in and I see everyone writing so seriously. We take things too personally. Flaming in comment boxes loh, blog wars loh, scandals loh. Geez, where's your sense of humour guys? Lighten up a bit, respect one another, lay back and relax.

A scandal rocked the Malaysian blogging community over the weekend. A scandal so big it made people think twice about the honesty of the blogs they read. A scandal so dirty it made Bill Clinton look like Mother Theresa. A scandal I'd like to call...
THE HUSTLERGATE SCANDAL!!!

*cue CSI theme music*

What is the Hustlergate Scandal? Well if you haven't yet heard it, come here, sit down on uncle Kenny's lap, and let me tell you a story.

*Flashback to a long, long time ago...*
The Hustler Diaries

The Hustler Diariesis arguably Malaysia's most popular erotic blog. The blog is (supposedly) authored by a middle-aged anonymous man and features stories not of himself, but about other people's sex lives. Its entries are very saucy and in many ways comparable to Sarong Party Girl's blog for all you Singaporeans out there. The Hustler Diaries was the runner-up of the (somewhat unreliable) 2004 Asia Blog Awards in the Malaysian Category - an award that the author proudly displays on his site.

Let me make one thing clear. I'm not a frequent reader of that blog, The Hustler Diaries. The blog is not in my bookmarks, its not in my links.

Its not because the blog is bad, because clearly it is not. I don't read it regularly because well... I hardly get any "action" over here, so I tend to get very very depressed when I read about other people's colourful sex lives. *sniff*

But I digressed.

A while ago The Hustler posted up a series of e-mails he purportedly received from his "fans" all over the world, thanking his blog for the improvement in their sex lives. These series of emails also include photos of near-naked female bodies as a "thank you gift" to the author.

I've read the entries that published those e-mails. The Hustler has the habit of keeping the identities of people who e-mailed him anonymous so no one but The Hustler himself knows if the they are real.

Personally I doubt the veracity of those e-mails because I don't think anyone would willingly send explicit photos of themselves (or their girlfriends), whilst giving full permission for the blogger to put them up.

But I might be wrong, so please send all your sexy photos to sexypics4you@kennysia.com

20050418-1.jpg

The first e-mail was from a guy called Henry who forwarded explicit pictures of his girlfriend Susan from the United States. Susan sent those pictures to Henry so that whenever they are apart, Henry can have a sexy picture of Susan to wank to.

A few days later, The Hustler posted up another entry about an email he received from a Faye of Singapore. Faye also sent in a provocative picture of herself for The Hustler and encouraged him to post it up for his readers' enjoyment.
Faye

What happened next became chaotic. A sharp-eyed reader pointed out the background of the Susan-of-USA picture matches the background of Faye-of-Singapore picture. Shit, how come no one else noticed that? Obviously everyone was busy staring at her boobs!

Titles like "Hustler Fake Diaries" and "Hustler Busted" dominated the Malaysian blogging community. Words spread like wildfire and eventually the award-winning blogger was forced to delete those guilty entries and went into hiding. A fierce debate ensued. On one side, people openly criticised The Hustler for deliberately deceiving his readers for the sake of traffic. Others (myself included) stood by The Hustler's side, stating that he should have the creative freedom to write whatever he wants and that people must be too naive to believe what he wrote was 100% true.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If you ask me I think the whole thing is blown out of proportion in a typical Malaysian manner (like those banned LRT ads).

I can see what The Hustler's detractors are saying - the fact that he made up artificial stories for traffic. That I agree. Blog readers are smart cookies who do not like to be deceived. Its as if The Hustler was playing on his readers' gullability.

Obviously, if kennysia.com readers find out that my name wasn't really Kenny, or if the guy in the photos wasn't me, or if the size of my balls wasn't bigger than those coconuts (NOT TRUE) I think they would be outraged. And rightfully so.

But one thing that needs to be pointed out is that The Hustler Diaries is not a run-of-the-mill personal blog per se. The Hustler rarely writes about himself, if ever. All his stories are "things I've heard from a friend of a friend, or from a workmate at the pub". Entertaining? Yes. Unbelievable? Yes. Credible? Hmm... dunno. Does it matter? Fucking-lutely not.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And then there is the fallout. In the aftermath of The Hustlergate Scandal a serious question is raised, "Are what we read on blogs TRUE?"

I'm sorry to break the news to you, but sadly the answer is no.

You see...

My name is not Kenny.

I am not from Kuching.

I am actually female.

Sorry everyone. I just pretended to be some guy called Kenny so I can write an entertaining blog to keep all of you happy. Its time for me to come clean.

Many Malaysian bloggers have wondered why I managed to draw so much readers from Singapore. Well guys, that's because I'm not actually Kenny from Kuching.

I am Faye from Singapore.

See that picture from The Hustler Diaries?
Faye

Now don't tell me you can't tell the difference.

Kenny Faye

See? Perfect match. I hope that clears up some confusion.

I'm really really sorry I deceived you all. It was not my intention. I just wanted to write a funny blog that draws traffic. Somehow Faye doesn't cut it, so I wrote as Kenny from Kuching.

As for Susan... well, that was just a fake name that I adopted to fool my bastard boyfriend Henry. He was a sex maniac and I couldn't take it anymore. I pretended to have travelled to the USA to avoid him. But I sent him explicit photos of myself just so he could leave me alone. Its true. Susan and I are one person - the person responsible for this FAKE site called kennysia.com

Don't believe me?

20050418-1.jpg

Well, judge for yourself.

20050418-1.jpg

I'm sorry I lied to you all. Nothing on this site is real. Never has been. Its all done by the same person called Faye (aka Susan) from Singapore. There is no Kenny. I'm sorry.

Well, now that I'm busted its not fun anymore. :(

Sorry I spoilt your dinner, but I memang jiak pah boh su zho. Yes this is a continuation of my April Fool's spoof. Yes its lame. Yes I know I've deliberately embarrassed myself. No please don't ask me to do it again. ;)

UPDATE: As of 3:20pm on the 19th April 2005, the Hustler Diaries was officially discontinued. To The Hustler, thank you for providing much needed entertainment and raising some "flagpoles" in your male readers over the months that you blogged. I can understand why you decided to stop. Although I wished you could have left under better circumstances, I still wish you all the best in your future undertakings.

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106 Comments

Unregistered

HAHAHA lucky my dinner digested long time ago wei.
but waaaah what similarities you have with faye ;) so sexhay.

Unregistered

hey, how come i didn't noticed that all along that was you? aww...

anyway, you are really hilarious...

Unregistered

WAHAHAHHAHAHAH!! i laughed till i cried!!!

Unregistered

*kowtow*kowtow*kowtow*

Unregistered

*wipes tear from eye*..

my mother stared at me when I laughed so hard. WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY? ....I'm so lucky to have met a human being like you who can make me laugh so so so so so so so so hard. eh, don't perasan ar. hahaha.

yes.. I agree with you about our own blogging community. I'm thankful to be able to find a solid one to be in. But there's just not enough light hearted banter going on..too many flames..too many "wars". No need for that. Everybody,play nice!

Unregistered

Wuahhaha! You are f*cking hilarious. There is no comparison for the bulu bulu that is sticking out of your boxers/shorts.

On a different note, I completely agree with you.
"Blog readers are smart cookies who do not like to be deceived. Its as if The Hustler was playing on his readers' gullability."

Seems like Hustler's readers, who are raging riots, are blaming him for disclosing their stupidity (for lack of a better word). Any sane person could not and should not have believed that every single word of that blog was true! Doubt should be a nagging feeling in the back of the mind. This only examplifies how M'sians foolishly believe everything that is placed before them, ie. government.

I am not bashing M'sians (Kenny, you know this). Just my worthless one cent.

Unregistered

omg hahahahahahaahahahahah~!!! this is hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah....i just cant hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaa~ stop laughing hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah....

Unregistered

LOL.
U never fail to make me laugh. *Salute*

Btw, juz drop by to say hi.

Unregistered

Muahahahahah!! Those pics rock dude!!! :)

Unregistered

oh my god!!

it is actually you! i can't believe that sleek black mercedes put up your picture on his site!

ah man!

on another note, that's a lovely pair you have.

Unregistered

*HAHAHAHA*

You're darn funny "Faye"/"Susan"! :P

My, my!

*beams*

Humour in a guy - very attractive. *heh!*

Unregistered

Stumbled upon your blog and that entry was hilarious! Will definitely drop by again soon. :)

Unregistered

Kennysia.com is the best.LOL.Cheers on me man.

Unregistered

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

'naff said :)

Unregistered

MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!
OH MY GOD MAN!!!

Hahahaha...this is ONE post I'm actually seriously laughing out loud. Oh my God man...you're either one sick puppy...or one seriously deranged savant.

Hahahaha...good one man.

Unregistered

AgRGghh! I AM BLIND!! no!!!
ROFLMFAO!!!

you just redefined eroticisim!

Unregistered

brave and wise, charming and funny, you are a god.

Unregistered

Nice body!!! hahahahha

Unregistered

Kenny, this is as good as your April Fool's joke. I am laughing so loud in the cyber cafe and everyone is looking at me!!!

Unregistered

omg.LMAO.this is one great post. =D

Unregistered

damnn.. hahahah.. i almost went blind!! hahaha.. i think you should re-name it kennygate.. :P

Unregistered

now that we know faye's the one running this site, the next question is, where the hell is the real 'kenny'?

oh my god, WHO KILLED KENNY?

FAYE, YOU BASTARD!!!

Unregistered

lol sama tak serupa?

Unregistered

now that we know faye's the one running this site, the next question is, where in the world is the real 'kenny'?

oh my god, faye, YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARD!!!

Unregistered

AIYOHHHHH...I don't know what to say liao *shakes head* there goes your integrity =P or whatever that's left. But I shall applaud you for your bravery... to put up semi-naked photos of yourself up.. TEEHEE!

Unregistered

ROTFLOL!!! Excellent post bro! :)

Unregistered

Nice boobs, Kenny. More, more, please.

Unregistered

OI! Why you put up scary pictures like that?!? Don't want me to come over anymore ke?

Aiyoo Kenny!!! You really made my day la!! LOL

Unregistered

This is the FBI. I would like to informed you that your site has been notified to the relevant authorities for the use of explicit photos. Complaints from Netizen mentioned that a few died from fits and was seen foaming at the mouth after visiting your site. *lemme adjust my huge balls before i continue* The pictures that you have posted are actually rather traumatising to the public and should be taken down immediately.

ps - Why is ur chest so hairy?

Unregistered

HAhahahaHAhha
Wow.... I dint kNow that Ure So SexY KenNy!!

Unregistered

KANASAI what is WRONG with you?! hahhaha

Unregistered

lol! :D nice one

Unregistered

Well..if u squint ur eyes just so...i can see the resemblance..

hahhaha

my laugh for the day, and i really needed one.

Unregistered

Arrrghhh! So much hair! Must wax hor, kenny!

Unregistered

I was laughing and laughing.......my mom though I was going crazy..........

Unregistered

Dear Kenny,

Oh, or is it Faye?

Don't make me miss all that leh?

Now, it's my turn to type what everyone had responded....

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Eh, ur tits shrunk la!

and do ya shave ur armpit hair or something?

You are so freaking funny.

Unregistered

Wah kao...I'm speechless.

Unregistered

OMG... you are the man. I can't find any reason to stop laughin. Respect you. XD

Unregistered

why ur armpits got no hair?

Unregistered

i woke up after nodding off and surfed over and saw this...made me laugh my ass off. best of kennysia.com! j00 da man! :)

Unregistered

u did not shave your armpits for that.... O.o

Unregistered

KENNY SIA YOU ARE DA BOMB! *catcalls*

btw it seems that one of your cousin, claire if im not mistaken... is in the same class as i am, hm. cos we were viewing ur blog over lecture the other day, and suddenly she pointed out "EH! I KNOW THAT GUY!!"

and we all had a good laugh over the infamous april fool's entry. ^^

Unregistered

The next time you're going to make me bust a kidney laughing, kindly place a warning on top (small small one enough liao) so I can't claim medical expenses from you. :D

Unregistered

MY EYES!!!

Unregistered

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

*poink - fell off chair*

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA

*gets up, looks at pic. poink - fell off chair*

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Unregistered

OMG!!! Hahahahahaha.. just when I couldn't get enough of Xiaxuey! Hahahahahahahhahahahahaha! Nice one there!

Unregistered

Frankly, this is not good, if not completely disappointed.

I looked, squinted my eyes with my eyeballs practically touching the screen, borrowed the most biggest magnifying glass my neighbor could offer, and the most powerful telescope from Nasa, I ain’t seeing the asset hiding underneath the most ugly and repulsive looking piece of rag you have. The store runs out of Donald duck boxer or what? :)

Unregistered

wah....jia ba bo tai ji ya u...
however, it's still good...as i like to make jokes too!

Unregistered

i darn right agree with u .
I think ppl should be given the freedom to let loose their creativity without fear, unless it is an obvious threat to national security.
So what if it is made up, and so wht if its 4 d reason 2 generate traffic.. why do m'sian bloggers take things so seriously, its his blog, let him do what he f*ckn want with it...

now, ppl with their head in their ar*e, have a cold drink, go get laid, and let live okay? feel me?

Unregistered

wah really really jiak pah boh su zho

Unregistered

he photoshopped his armpit hair off.. if u see the other side, there's hair..

Unregistered

Hi Kenny, I mean Faye from Singapore. Nice belly you got there. ;-)
On a more serious note. I can't understand the issue. Does it really matter whether these stories are true as long as they keep us entertained. BTW, I am not Adam and I don't read the Hustler Diaries ;-)

Unregistered

Oh may god, i nearly die laughing!!!!
Hahahahahahahahaha.......!!!!!
Kenny, you are the best, keep it up!!

Unregistered

Oh man, you made me laughed so hard!

Unregistered

Oh god, Kenny, I'm sorry, but that is just so... er... You're right: we won't ask you to do it, ever.

Unregistered

yes, please don't do it again. i haven't had lunch yet. ;)

Unregistered

OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_OMFG *does the crucifix sign* AGHHH!!~ (>_

totally hillarious!~ good one kenny :D

Unregistered

Dude, that is some funny ass shit. And "sit down on uncle Kenny's lap"??? Not with those BIG BALLS my friend. Not a cool thing to say with MJ's trial going on and all.

I only checked out hustler diaries after seeing it on your April Fools entry. That was a week ago and now I here this. Well, people being pissed at the writer is like people getting chuffeed that the playboy, penthouse, etc stories are all fiction. YES THEY ARE!! No hot chick ever delivered me pizza and got neked!!

Hope you dont mind. I linked you on my blog.

Unregistered

That's HOT. ~Blackwidow~

Unregistered

aH Fug....u give kenny a whole new meaning other thn southpark...HAHA

Unregistered

Hey Dudette, I know you are Faye because Kenny would not put up with having pink curtains his bedroom.

Shit, rice just came outa my nose...

Unregistered

80% of the stuff i wrote are exagerated n not true. So what's the big hoo hah lah. But u know what Kenny, I believe the stuff u wrote here. Now would u send me more of those Susan/Faye pose? Please please.

Unregistered

haha never fail to make my day! hmmmm ur pic is dusturrrrrrrrrrrbingggggggggggggggggggg

Unregistered

there goes my appetite :P

Unregistered

Hahahahahaha rotfl! What an entry, riding high on the hustlergate scandal XD Precious this one and you've outdone yourself. Man now you must have every bisexual, gay and lesbian trying to find out where you live from your oh so sexy pictures ;)

Unregistered

i still think u r kenny from kucing. yes u r. but then again if u r not getting any 'action' u must be in singapore then. & quite hit savvy n jump onto the hustler riposte bandwagon.

Unregistered

kennny you are the man!!!

Unregistered

LOL. You're funny. :D

Unregistered

=D kenny, u juz made my day again! hahahahaha!!!!! gosh! that was hilarious!!!!!
oh ya. if u look carefully wif susan and faye's pic, not only the deco of the room is the same, the necklace they're wearing is also the same (where got so chun one???!!), plus their boobs size are the same too. =p
hahahah!!!
p.s: put down ur arm lah! scared to c man's ketiak bulu!

Unregistered

oh ya. is hustler really a guy? to me it looks like 'he's the susan and faye in the pics.hmm.....

Unregistered

Oh, how I wish I had images turned off...

LoL!

Unregistered

uaahhhh... sexyy!! LOL

Unregistered

Lolz... Laff sei ngo :P

Unregistered

Faye, u sLuT!!!! Muahahahaha! ;p

Unregistered

omg rotlfolak, umake me my cake,

kenny is hairy little chimpanzee LOLTFWTH

Unregistered

OMG have mercy on us! ROTFLMAO!!!

Unregistered

Three cheers for Kenny!

Hip hip Hooray! Hip hip Hooray!! Hip hip Hooray!!!

Bro, you simply redefined the meaning of a "blog"

Unregistered

Ha! You're a crazy man! Nice pink curtains!

Unregistered

I lost my dinner! And what's with the pink curtain?!

Unregistered

hey there! i love reading your blog :-)
i usually don't leave any comments but this one really takes the cake! it's bloody hilarious! i laughed so hard my sides hurt like a slut after a gangbang party!

Unregistered

Shit! You guys ROCK so much the Earth moved! One thing I love more than writing stupid blog entries is getting funny comments from people who share the same sense of humour with me. And you guys are the best commenters I could ever ask for. Glad I made your day because you made mine too mannnn!

Yes I shaved ONE SIDE of my armpit hair to take that photo. I still wanted to have mercy on you guys so you could come back some time.

Yea the pink curtains... No I'm not gay. :) I used to share the same bedroom with my brother but I decided to move into my elder sister's old bedroom just so I can watch porn, I mean, type blogs in peace. She vacated her own bedroom after she got married. I just hadn't had the time or energy to de-feminize it that's all.

Anyway, thanks for laughing. HEH!

Unregistered

Good joke. Not offensive to any religion and race.

Good one.

To bad for hustle, preety sorry to see him off.

Unregistered

You are the man, dude. Frigging hilarious. Don't stop leh. Keep them coming!

Unregistered

you make me laugh so hard, i should stop readin your blog in the office cos everytime i break out uncontrollably in laughter, my colleagues think i've gone completely mad.. heh.

Unregistered

hahahaha... i cannot tahan this post... its AMAZING... i rarely smile but i did when i saw the first one... and i laugh when i saw the second one...

nice!

Unregistered

Oh my goodness you are a hairy genius!!

*Bows in respect*

Unregistered

haha its sooo funny! but i noticed the similarity straight away.

They have the same necklace, same jawline, same boob size, same proportions... haha I didn't really notice the background though.

Unregistered

ACK MY EYES! THE HORROR! I'M BLINDED!

You, on the other hand, look lovely.

Unregistered

O_O dude... what a scary resemblance!
the scarier thing is, you've got bigger tits than i do :P
but i definitely have longer armpit hair.

Unregistered

hah? *blank look* whatz so funny? i'm so blur blur lar. anyway, i like your writings. will be dropping by again. - not easilly amused.

Unregistered

I like your postings and the way you write. very amusing and interesting as well. Will pop by for updates in future....

Unregistered

I fucking laughed when I saw you trying to emulate the figure and pose of the girl. It's so gay.

Now that I know that you're female be warned that I'm comin' for ya, haha :P

Unregistered

From now on every time Faye/Susan is on my mind I also see the stubbles, body hair and the horrendous silk shorts.
And there goes my supper.

DAMN! XP~~~~

Unregistered

one set touched up and another not touched up ?
wonders of modern technology

Unregistered

funny funny FUN-NAY! ROTFL
thanks for the great pics, you've just made my day... you hunka bunka burnin love.

Unregistered

LMFAO. THe comparisons are so abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.

Unregistered

hahahahaha oh my goodness...... awesome awesome awesome entry... but i was really shocked when i saw the first umm...... artistic picture... i turned around to make sure no one was around in case they think i was porn-surfing.

Unregistered

oops! looks like someone else has taken the site?

Unregistered

shits! opened this when I'm at work and saw porno!!

btw, u got sexy tummy hor? lol

Unregistered

nice pair bigger than mine,


idon'tthinkso!!!!!!

Unregistered

Just to let u know, Hustler is back on business.,

Unregistered

hahhahahaha, tat's really funny.
oh by the way, the hustler has made his blog private.

Unregistered

Way to go!! :D:D

Unregistered

nice pic...you even have the same camera as susan..hahaha

Unregistered

kenny, could provide recommend me the plastic surgeon that did you from WOMAN to MAN pleasE!
he/she really did a great job man!

Unregistered

Wow!
Almost terkejut. Nice reading your previous blog post.

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