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Friday, 15 April 2005

A Blog From Jail

Front page headlines

Kenny made front page headlines

Gee, how bad would that headline look?

So many illicit drug dealers and anabolic steroid traffickers out there and yet they jailed me - an innocent person trying to lose weight, work out, take my vitamins and improve my health.

I sincerely appreciate all the comments from both sides of the camp - those who support my stance and those who think I was being stupid for making a big deal out of this. What you all wrote in my comment box definitely crossed my mind at some stage. Oh, and a special thank you also to all kennysia.com commenters with a sense of humour. :)

"*ROFL* i will write you letters when u stay behind bars...maybe once in a while bring magazine or chewing gum for you lol"
- kahsoon

"I'm tuning in tomorrow to see what happens! And if i never see another update ill know they smacked you over the head at the post office and dragged you away to prison. :)"
- Adrian

"all i can do is hope that you'll have your internet access to blog bout your life in jail for coming 3 years ..*praying*"
- sandkan

Gee, thanks for having so much confidence in me guys.

And here's my personal favourite.

"You see, this is no free contry hosay. You gotta do it like the Cubans. Send someone there, take out the supplements and put them in a Vitamin C bottle. This will surely pass the customs. Or else do it old school. Condoms and stuff it up the transporters ass. Even the dogs can't sniff them shat."
- Body builder officionada, Arnold Susahnakeja.

HAHA! Susahnakeja = Susah Nak Kerja. In Malay that means 'Too difficult to wanna work'. Hmmm its not funny anymore once you try to explain it.

Flags

On my way to the Post Office. What's with the Singaporean and Sarawakian flags anyway?

There were those who advised me to err on the safe side. Uzyn , xar and 'civil servant' all kindly warned me that I run the risk of creating more trouble for myself. Malaysian government bodies has been known to be inflexible, stubborn and unnegotiable. My chances are too low. I have to give up my money. They are the law and I cannot win. I am David, they are Goliath.

They were right in many ways. In hindsight, it was probably a bad move for me to argue with a government official over something trivial that's worth only RM500. This drama could easily balloon up to thousands of dollars in legal costs or worse, me getting locked up.
Post

Outside the Post Office. Kenny gets ready. *cue theme music from Kill Bill*

I admit I was wrong losing my temper. I over-reacted, definitely. I was upset at the prospect of losing my money.

However one thing clear from my phone conversation yesterday was that they were unprepared for my rebuttal. They're probably used to people backing out and have their items confiscated all because these minions have memorised the name of the Act, the fine and the jail term etc to scare these innocent civilians.

The sad fact is that most people simply surrender and raise their white flags when government officials get in their face.

"Too much trouble lah! Can't win them lah! Better to lose RM500 than to lose RM25,000. I dun wanna go to court. Aiya what to do? Boh pien lah! Blame on myself being suay loh!"
Inside Mail Center

Inside the Mail Center

But heh, I was such a hard-ass. I blame my roots with University student unions for my refusal to budge. I just thought I was bullied into a no-win situation. The bullies being the Customs and the Ministry of Stealth... I mean, Health. Why can't I send my items back despite the assurance me and my seller have given them? It is just something I couldn't swallow.

From my perspective, they gained absolutely nothing from destroying my items, and I stand to lose a lot of money for absolteuly no reason at all. Maybe its too much work for them to allow me to send the items back. Maybe their attitude really is susahnakeja!

"Too much work to let this guy get his refund lah! Need to sit through watching him pack and wrap everything up some more. Fuiyoh. Think I so free ah? I'd rather go home and watch Astro you know? Haiyah just pop it into the incinerator enough liaw lah. Make some BBQ-vitamins. Teeheehehe."
Office

In the Ministry of Health's inspection office whilst waiting for them to arrive

I think eventually they realised that it is only gonna reflect badly on them if they were to drag me to court over some vitamins. Two big government bodies versus someone who just wanted to take his supplements and get healthy. Besides I've created a win-win situation for them: They're not breaking any rules by not giving me the items, and by allowing me to return my items I get to have my refund. So who's losing?





Bottles

That's my four bottles of sports supplements and my letter to Bodybuilding.com. Yes, I'm getting my refund!

Which is why I'm glad they came to their senses. :)
Paying

My loss = RM15.30 worth of postage. Hmm... better than RM500 I reckon.

PHEW! Luckily I'm still here blogging instead of spending the night behind bars whilst risking my asshole being manually expanded. Heh! Sorry I deliberately update late to create suspense. ;)

This afternoon I went over to the Post Office and met with the official/minion from the Ministry of Health. No further questions were asked - I was given my supplements right away. With both the Customs and the Ministry of Health watching, I packed those four bottles of supplements into a box, paid RM15.30 for postage and mailed them off right then and there.
Flags

Me going to court? Nahhhh.... You going back to the States? FUCK YEAH!

And that's the end of the story of a 22-year-old who questioned the decisions of the authorities, but yet managed to negotiate a situation that benefits everyone.

Let this be a lesson to be learnt: just because their ass is bigger, doesn't mean you're fucked. You won't be fucked if you don't just lie there and allow them to fuck you. Ok sorry for the crass language. But hey, if you believe you're right and they're wrong - question them, argue with them, negotiate with them and work out a win-win solution. That's the only way things can change.

So as I walked back to my car, I adjusted my underwear slightly to account for the slight expansion of my testicles. ;)



WWE

I win. :)



Kenny - 1     Malaysian Customs - 0

47 Comments

Unregistered

Congratulations on fucking the authorities and winning.

Unregistered

*hehe*

FYI, i think it's arnold "susah nak eja" because it is indeed difficult to spell. :P

sometimes they just don't understand certain things you try to explain thru the telephone. sometimes even face to face with hand gestures, they still don't understand.

piang!

Unregistered

*In upbeat wedding karaoke singing spirit*..."ai peah cia eh ia..." Ha ha...Great to see you "peah" (fight) and defeated the idiots.

OK, you earn a feather on your balls. Bravo.

Unregistered

w00tness to you Kenny, fight fight fiiiiiiiight! And most importantly, win..hahaha. Glad it worked out anyway

Unregistered

The new world heavy weight champion is Kenny Sia! Woohoo~!

Glad that everything worked out without a glintch. ;) Yeah, you are the man. Don't get bullied by some shit stuff or some stupid rules. I respect you!

Unregistered

Way to go!!!

Unregistered

congratulations :)

Unregistered

just before this, my dad got pulled over by a cop in a traffic jam for entering a no entry shortcut. He gave the cop flak for pulling ppl over and summoning instead of trying to ease the traffic jam (which was what he was trying to escape using the shortcut). The cop ate the flak like in Unreal Tournament, and dad walked out unscathed.
Man, I wish I could be like you guys (not nice guys).

Unregistered

lol glad you pulled through dude. ;D haahah.. i'd have visited you in jail you know. *wistful*.bwaahahhaa.

Unregistered

i'm surprised u didn't have to slip a few notes under your IC...

Unregistered

...and hope you will live happily ever after or bodybuilding.com will return you the package and go through all over this again...kakaka..

Unregistered

Haha...your balls expanded AGAIN? if your balls get any bigger, kenny, you might have to buy a wheelbarrow or something, man!

Unregistered

I wished I had the same guts to screw my school's student union over! Nice one, Kenny!

Unregistered

U were lucky, u noe tat rite..? =P

Cant believe they actually bothered to head there to watch u pack up ur stuff..

N technically jus bcoz u send them a sample letter of wat u Cud send to bodybuilding.com doesnt mean tat u wud hav..
as in, u still cud hav asked them to send back to u rite?
Which was wat they were afraid of i guess..

Huh..not bad for you.. =P

Unregistered

Your win is our lost. We could have learnt more from the Kuching prison system. Does "Shawshank Redemption" ring any bell? espeically the guy, with his ass violated. Damn!

Can someone from that gym take some picture in the locker room to get some real perspective on the ball? Please..ss...

Unregistered


Great blog. Really interesting shit.

Now, enuff formalities. On to da real shit. As someone who will probably be defending people from the sodomising arms of the law in but a few months time, lemme give you my legal take on the matter and why they backed down...

1) Quoting DIRECTLY from an Act only scares lay people from doin' the shit they're tryina prevent. In 80% of innocent cases, the letter of the law can BE IGNORED if it goes against a person's rights where circumstances apply.

2) They told you the MAXIMUM penalty / jail term if found guilty of the crime you were purported to have caused. Even seasoned crooks barely get the MAXIMUM. First timers usually get 1/3 of whatever that is. RARELY prison term, in your case.

3) No expensive legal fees involved if you decide to pursue this all the way. You're entitled to FREE LEGAL SERVICES courtesy of the Law Society who makes it compulsory for chambees to provide free service from time to time

4) Threaten to SUE THEM instead for the slow reply / procedural inconsistencies (ask a lawyer to read your case) and shit.

Lesson here, folks. Follow the old adage, if you ain't done something wrong or don't THINK you did somethin' wrong, nothing to worry. Prisons are overcrowded too. And costs them money. So they won't waste it on petty cases

Unregistered

Good on ya,mate!Hope you keep this refuse-to-budge attitude for a long time more to come. I graduated with more than just a degree when I came back to Malaysia. Took away that same kind of attitude too. :D

Unregistered

kenny!!! so glad u're out of that stupid gvt matter! yu jian, thanks for the advice. next time can threaten them to sue them laio! hahahahahahhaah!!!
anyway, im so happy for u! no jail! no fine!( no vits [ =( ] and no rm1.50!) hehhe! hurrah!

Unregistered

lol congrats and again ur WWF pics make me laugh XD

Unregistered

gee, that was close..

"On my way to the Post Office. What's with the Singaporean and Sarawakian flags anyway?" - if you look at your pic of The borneo poo, you could see the headline at the very bottom:
Singapore president arrives for 3-day visit

Unregistered

Glad they let you send the medicine back to get your refund.

Unregistered

I told you my way to convince them work. Can negotiate one!!!!If you are tactful it usually works from my experience. First don't argue, listen then slowly ,nicely n surely explain. If you argue sure no win-win situation and Gurantee lose.

Unregistered

Singapore president is in Kuching and it's happening in Padang Merdeka at the moment (Saturday)

Unregistered

hi, i am a new reader.
congratulations on your victory.
I'll be coming regularly to read your blog from now on.
I look up to you (or down towards your balls... ;-))
Keep up the good work.

Unregistered

yo u forgot me liaw ah kenny..we went 2 da airport, we sit thr like stupid eat potatochips, we stand there like stupid holding a name scribbled on a piece of paper, we go home like idiots..but decided to drop by king center eat DOMINOS PIZZA like CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!

Unregistered

I wonder what you're gonna do when your balls get too big for your pants. :D

Congrats!

Unregistered

haih lucky both came to senses eh?

Unregistered

i had became your faithful reader since i read your friendster blog..
sure mind-blowing, some blog style i dreamt of since the first day i surf internet.
however, when i think your chances are low yesterday....luck seems had turned his way for you!
CONGRATS!

Unregistered

Niiiiice! :)

So are you going to try and register your supplements with the Ministry of Health and give it another go?

Unregistered

Adrian, from what I gather registering a product is a cumbersome process requiring samples to be sent to the labs for couple of hundred ringgits. It also requires a sticker to be labelled on each packaging before they can be brought in. The whole procedure becomes too much just to bring in a couple bottles of supplements.

FeR, thanks for the clarification. :) Still a good laugh none the less.

Nic, and how shall I decorate the feather on my balls?

Lainie, w00tness indeed!

Jason, alright next on my list - Triple H!

randomshinichi, eh excuse me! are you trying to say that I'm not a nice guy or something HUH?! well, it was them themselves who wanted to make things difficult for us anyway, so we take out our Flak Cannon lah!

Jayelle, you can still visit me in jail. Next time when we play Monopoly.

chris, no need. I offered actually (if you read my letter to them in my last post, I said I'll pay them any service charge, but they didn't ask so I didn't pay. :)

AgentX, hoiii! Dun pray pray. I had enough already mannnnnnnn.

J Schnorng, oh yea its kinda difficult lugging them around.

JiaYuan, screw your student union over? Why do you wanna do that? What happened?

Allyssa, actually I was thinking of mailing the items to myself at my Kuching address! HEH! But they were looking so too bad. Aiya, they're afraid to do many things lah. Just simple things like that, they think its too much trouble already.

Pope, oh man I dun wanna crawl through the sewerage system to free myself man! Kuching longkang damn smelly one you knoW!! Eh why you so interested in my balls? YOU DIRTY POPE!

Yu Jian, great stuff! You're the kind of lawyer I would wanna hire next time I get into trouble with the law. Heh. But its typical lah. These minions quote the Act, go to court, face fine, face jail just to scare ppl. When I'm really serious about going to court with them, they back away. Typical ball-less minions. Counsel you are dismissed. :P

SY, that kinda attitude is useful to keep for a loonnnggggg time.

Tess, ahhh nvm. small small matter!

ember + Albert, what lah! Singapore president come also need all these flags! Wonder what is he doing here anyway? Holidaying ar? Memang zho-boh.

thquah, yea i know I gotta keep my temper in check. Its just that they kept saying they wanna burn my vitamins alive - I very the sim-tia.

pohbc, great to have new readers introducing themselves! :) Too many ppl here shy-shy dun wanna intro themselves. So all you stalkers out there better learn from pohbc oi!

Kenny Chai, eh I remember you lah! But u keep on changing nicks from KENie to [KEN]ie to Chobits to Gambskit to Gambs. You tell me how to follow?

Saffron, I might decide to 'air' it then.... errr, not a good idea!

Reta, yea they happen to find their brains locked away in the cellars.

AA + kimberlycun + kahsoon + Wilson + Kenny Lee, thanks for the congrats! Yay!

Unregistered

Great action Kenny. So proud to have a Kuchingite like you. Kekeke... If only everyone dare to speak out like you for the truth, I think those balls of them will be getting smaller and smaller. But hey, dun let urs get too big, later no undies to fit. :P

Unregistered

well, i'm glad you're okay. if you need any help with importing packages, please email me, i'm experienced in this field. i just got a package today containing something that's not exactly legal at all, the customs pharmaceuticals enforcement unit went through it four times but can't identify what exactly it is so they passed it - i'll post about that soon.
there are concealment options available, it's not a good idea to receive things in their original containers.
but i'm glad you got off alright, take care mate, we be playing with fire here...

p/s - don't knock the customs dept publicly, that inviting trouble, my friend...

Unregistered

I thought 2.30 today.

Turned out to be yesterday! Darn! Was planning to wait at the Parcel Center with a camera in my hand, incase something happens ;)

Unregistered

congratulation on your winning! keep blogging and thanks for quoting my comment :0

may you have a forever growing testicle.

Unregistered

haha... there was one time I went to pay a fine at the local council, and i parked somewhere which wasn't marked as 'kakitangan sahaja', the sign was broke or stolen... u know la Malaysia...

Anyway after I paid my fine, I was so bloody annoyed to find another fine at my car. And those idiots kept insisting that I am a moron who parked at their kakitangan car park and argued that I was 'blind' not to see the sign blah blah blah...

sigh... lost my voice that day... fuming mad... going to vote for opposition :P

Unregistered

yah... my sis sent two pairs of socks and some foodstuff from New Zealand... for some gift or something... and when we got there... the socks disapppeared... i think they must have took the socks out of the package and just used it for themselves... damn i hate this people

Unregistered

actually.. isn't susah nak eja = difficult to spell? hahah..

Unregistered

u did the right thing,kenny
they would most probably simpan those supplement for their own use if not for ur brilliant act to send it back.
dont ever surrender when u can still fight back!

Unregistered

Your blog is f**king nice and superb...
u're simply a natural writer who has lots of talents....I luv it so much!!!(I've been reading ur blog since afternoon till now-eleven at nite)

I like the way you organise ur entry...outrageously superb!

Unregistered

congrats to you lah,brade !
u de man !

Unregistered

At last someone who has brain on their shoulder.

Keep it up!

Unregistered

Ok, I know that this blog was written ages ago, but i was searching for Malaysian Customs and came across it... so i thought i might as well read it and now am commenting because i'm going through the same thing...
I order a fair bit from amazon.com and buy dvds and books from them about once a month. annoyingly (and randomly) customs stop my packages and open it up looking at what i bought and tend to want to keep it with them at their KLIA (fucking far away) office for me to go negotiate a bribe.
It's ridiculous... like you, i studied in australia (melbourne) and have never experienced custom problems... sure they stop packages with dangerous things like weapons and illegal drugs (which, by the way, aren't things like supplements that don't include steroids)... but nothing like legit dvds! and even if they do stop it at customs, they contact you and tell you how much it's going to cost to get it out if there's a tax imposed (and you can check it against a posted list). and a tax is only imposed when your importing large quantities!

My opinion is that they're, in a way, supporting piracy.. i'm buying originals (just not in this country) and for personal use. they can come and raid my house (i dare them) if they wanted to check whether i was operating a pirated dvd ring... bloody bastards.

so there is my rant and rave. i truly believe that these greedy/ignorant/stupid/vague assholes should really get their act together.

*ahem*

good on you for working it out... last year.. :p

Unregistered

congrats. i am really gonna salute u for the effort taken to get ur rights back rather than to shallow it just like tat. usually malaysians are lazy and find it useless talking to the governments

Unregistered

so kenny, when are you going to have the round 2 session with the goveerment?
say this time pick on Ministry of Home Affairs?

Unregistered

HAHA! Nice one :) By the way, just for your info, 'susahnakeja' is not susah nak kerja. It is susah nak eja, meaning hard to spell. Its referring to Arnold's last name.

Unregistered

YES! you are the man.

Haha the Malaysia Custom gets owned by Kenny...

Unregistered

hooray!!well done man!!!
my uncle's parcel of health products(worth usd300) has been delay almost a month....after reading yr post, i will urge and encourage him to fight for his right!!its not fair to confiscate other people staff with lame reasons.. thanks for the enlightenment!!

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