I had wanted to blog about the recent marriage of two of my closest friends. So I logged on to Friendster to surf their testimonials. Whilst surfing,
I saw some pretty girl's picture I was distracted by someone else's profile, so I clicked profiles after testimonials and testimonials after profile and.... anyway, needless to say I didn't end up writing a single word about Geraldine and David's marriage. :)
I haven't been checking out Friendster much since its craze a few months back. I remembered it used to be much simplier. You have a network of friends that you know. Then, you found out that both you and your friend knew someone else and things like that. Its a fantastic concept, a great conversation starter and I had fun locating my old mates from secondary school and even primary school. My oh my, how things have changed. The whole Friendster culture has evolved out of proportion. Gone are the days of honest testimonials and people in your friends list that you actually know (exchanging messages through Friendster once does not count). Today's Friendster is overtaken by honest-to-god kiasu people and over-enthusiastic teenage girls.
Here's the top 5 annoying Friendster trends. Feel free to point out more if you want. Oh, and one more thing - I make no apologies in naming names. :)
5. The ASCII Art Testimonials
You know the ones. A friendster testimonial is supposed be someone writing some ass-kissingly nice stuff about the other person. It used to be the best part about Friendster because I get to find out funny things about people I know - like how Huey Mei got so drunk once she locked herself up in her car and crying "I don't want to die". These days its all about the ASCII arts. These are pictures made up with characters on the keyboard and come to think about it, they are actually very similar to me - ie, they take up a lot of space and they sure look damn ugly.
What puzzles me even further is why would people approve these sort of testimonials? These ASCII arts just bury the sincere and genuine testimonials your real friends gave you deeper and deeper. (What? You mean I have real friends on my Friendster?) Makes you wonder where your priorities lie.
4. The Copy-and-Paste Testimonials
These are just as annoying as the ASCII art testimonials. These are "testimonials" that aren't really testimonials, but rather some amusing piece someone found elsewhere and decided to just copy and paste it into the person's testimonial box. Its usually funny the first time you read it. But after surfing a while later, you saw exactly the same testimonial elsewhere!
I did see worse ones. Someone copy and pasted a generic cutesy testimonial like "StAY CuTe AnD BeAuTiFuL, gur|, y0u r0x!"... but they gave it to a guy. And the guy accepted it!
I can't believe the lack of sincerity in that. If you don't want to write a testimonial, then don't write. Or at least write something original lah. Its like when you're invited to a birthday party of a friend you really hated. Instead of giving him a generic present like a box of cheap $2 chocolates you bought in a rush, just go empty handed, or give him a piece of freshly made shit wrapped in colourful paper - at least that's original, see?
3. ThE CrOoKEd LeTTeR TyPerS
ThIs oNe is eAsY To sPoT fROm a MiLe aWaY. tHeSe PeOPle hAvE sOMe PaTIeNcE tO bE AbLe tO tYPe tHiS WaY. I sEriOUslY hAVe nO iDEa HoW oR wHY TheY DiD iT. WaS iT suPPoSed tO be cOOl? WaS It suPpOSed tO bE cUtE? My EyEs HuRT wHEn I ReAd iT. WhY cAn'T tHEy JuSt tYpE nORmaL LiKe eVErYoNe eLsE!
I'm ok with crooked letter typers, honestly - in fact, I kinda find the cuteness in it. Unfortunately, sometimes they push their boundaries a little too hard when they write a whole testimonal using crooked letters. It annoyed the hell out of me! Like this testimonial below:
Makes me really want to hit him back sometimes... with my fist.
2. The Beauty Contest Judge
These are dummy Friendster accounts, the purpose of which is to judge regular Friendster users on their looks. If you happen to be good looking enough by their standards, then you receive a... *drum rolls* stupid testimonial telling you that you are good looking. Fascinating stuff. Except the people who operates these accounts usually get bored pretty quickly and let their account wilt and die after a while.
What's a beauty contest judge doing in Friendster. I have no idea. Why do people add beauty contest judges as friends in Friendster? I have no idea. What's the beauty contest judge below trying to say? I have no bloody idea.
Name: oO KawaiiPpL Oo
*+*+* Attention to PpL out there *+*+*
We are here to look for ppl whom possesses Kawaii Looks!!!
If you tink you realli possess a Kawaii look,Please feel free to add us.
All Guyz & Gals are welcum...
However,we are veri STRICT in selecting ppl.
So if we dun tink you possess a kawaii look,we will immediately reject you...
If we haf rejected you,Dun add us back again. Get it?!?!
If you wan us to add you back,Plz try to improve on your looks in de pic.
* Criterias to be a [Kawaiian] in here *
( 1 ) You muz be Kawaii enough for us.
( 2 ) You muz attached 2 or more photos for us to view.
( 3 ) Singaporeans preferred though. But if you tink you r realli kawaii,you can try adding us.
( 4 ) Single would be an advantage.
Up to date rejects --> 245 ppl
Please do drop us a testimonial if you [Kawaiians] wan a testimonial from us.
As we are rather busy,we will write one back for you [Kawaiians] asap.
We will rate de testimonials accordingly.
--> Super Kawaii Peep : 10/10
--> Veri Kawaii Peep : 8 to 9/10
--> Quite Kawaii Peep : 6 to 7/10
--> Normal-Looking Peep : 5/10
Every month,we will placed de Top 2 most Kawaii ppl photos here. One Guy & One Girl would be selected by us personally. And both of them would be named 'Most Kawaii GuY & GaL'.
Sooo...Dun wait liao.
Hurry Up and Add us now!!!!!
We will be waiting for y0u!!!!
Quickly add us at --> KawaiiPpl@xxxxxxx.com
*Kenny desperately tries to improve his Kawaii looks in his Friendster pic*
I have 3 words to say. Make it 4 words, I want to swear. What's the fucking point? If I happen to become a "Super Kawaii Peep 10/10" by their definition, so what? Got food to eat ah? Besides, I don't want to be called a Kawaiian. What a bloody stupid name.
1. The "I am so cool because I have 3000 more friends than you" kiasu girl
These are usually 15 year old teenage girls who enjoy collecting friends. Yes, COLLECTING - like they are stamps or something. They would have one Friendster account, fill it up to the maximum 500 "friends", after which they would open another account, and repeat the process until its full again.
This one girl had seven Friendster accounts. SEVEN. That means she has up to 3500 "friends"! Read that, 3500!!! What kind of 15-year-old in JB have the means necessary to have 3500 friends?! I am amazed! I'm struggling to hit 3 digits worth of friends myself dammit! Who are they trying to meet?
"p/s: pls dun send me msgs to add u.. my email is already in my profile.. if wanna add me juz add. i will accept de.. thanks lotz... oh ya.. write me testi oso.. hahahz^^.. tk cr.. byee"
What the?! What the heck is she thinking? The "I have more friends than you so my balls are bigger than yours (except I have none)" mentality! Does the people on her friends list actually know her? I doubt so. So, how the heck are they supposed to write her testimonials!? "Hmmm... I dunno Michelle, but I think she's very cute and pretty."