Star Wars Inspired Taglines

Just a short entry today. I’m off to Riverside Ciniplex to watch Revenge of the Sith in a few minutes time. Man I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait!
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Yes, everytime Star Wars come around I turn into a geeky little nerd having an orgasm at the sight of Yoda.
Ok lah, its not that bad.
You know what’s bad?
Visualise this. Back when I was at Curtin University, I walked past the Physics student common room one day only to catch the sight of fat pimply kids with thick glasses playing chess whilst they listened to the Star Wars Theme Music playing over the radio.
Mannnn I was so traumatised! Nothing against nerds of course. I fully admit I’m a nerd myself. But that scene was nerdiness to the n-th degree plus one integrated over the range of negative infinity to positive infinity. I’m not making this up, and yes, it really was THAT bad!
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A while ago I wrote about how sick I am of businesses jumping on the Star Wars bandwagon and coming up with all these boring competitions and “limited-edition” stupid gimmicks? Well, since I’m in Star Wars mood and all, I’ve helped the following businesses come up with taglines they can use to torture us further.
Remember, you saw it first on kennysia.com!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Beard Papa
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ROTI BOY… I am your father!

Inspiration Alan Salon
Cheebye
The Force is strong with this one…

Khidmat Negara / National Service
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Come… to THE DARK SIDE!

xiaxue.blogspot.com
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For nights when you may need to perform HAN SOLO!

BreadTalk
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May the FLOSSS Be With You!

Viagra
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Lord Vader? (Yes, master?) RISEEEEEE!

Update: Just came back from the cinema. Without spoiling the movie for you, I can say that I felt very disturbed watching evil prevailing over good in this episode of Star Wars. Without a doubt this is the definitely best instalment of the series. You really have to watch the earlier episodes of Star Wars to fully appreciate it.
Some notable things that happened at the cinema:
– I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to bring in outside drinks. An attendant stopped me and said “Ini tidak boleh masuk”. But then I waved my right hand at him using my Jedi mind trick and replied “Boleh lah!” Surprisingly it worked.
– A group of three backpacking British youngsters sat to my right. One of them have very bad body odour emitting from his armpits. And he wore singlets. I sat beside him for the whole 2.5 hours of the movie. I almost activated my light sabre.
– Irritated by Yoda’s way of talking, I am. Bad English grammar, he has. Tuition, he needs. Backwards all the time, his words are. If Yoda has an email address, com.starwars@yoda it would be.
– I got annoyed very quickly by the amount of scenes involving ‘Jedi hanging on the ledge’ after a battle. Try to count how many times that happened in the entire series. George Lucas must have gotten a blowjob or something each time he put that scene in his movies.
Other than that, definitely movie-of-the-year material.

31 Replies to “Star Wars Inspired Taglines”

  1. i left studying add maths and came online only to see that ‘pembezaan’ (calculas?) formula up there. add maths is now haunting me online too. ack!

  2. Enjoy the movie mate. Hope it would help sooth your recent pain and loss.
    Sarah, pembezaan is diffentiation in english. Yes, maths will haunt everyone, even beyond death. You would be accountable (more maths!) to your action in your after-life as well!

  3. Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_Gee, calculus. I haven’t done them since I left Year 12. I think your formula is a stroke of genius you know. We may actually use that formulae to calculate how nerdy someone may be. And the pics are superb and the tag lines are just great ^_^
    Remember, maybe you should approach some science institute and tell them you have come up with the formula to calculate how nerdy someone can be. >_

  4. lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.lol… those pics sure are funny…
    it’s been ages since my last bread talk… umm… bread. >.

  5. Hey, Malaysian cinemas still use those thick art pencils to write down your seat number ah?
    I remember when SG cinemas used to do that too. Ah the nostalgia!

  6. much fun the movie was to watch, good company admit i must. odour of body though disconcerting. patience we must.
    but directions to my house learn you will. excuses make you must not.
    calm be while lost. your emotions lead you will.
    may the force be with you.

  7. GOsh, do you know that the way Yoda speaks is actually technically correct?
    A certain style of english, he is following, the norm, it isn’t.
    Hope u get it. HAHa…
    I am just some guy from Sg who’s gonna watch Starwars later too! yeS!

  8. I know u read Maxim SG, I particularly enjoyed the GAy Yoda special…
    ” If good boy you are, in time, too, you can get physical with Yoda”
    Cheers.
    Tataz

  9. are you sure you only waved your right hand? I remember seeing a 50 sen coin stuck at the crack of your fingers, and the guy gave you a high five; that’s when you did you David Blaine’s street magic impersonation.

  10. Crap..is it good?? After the first two failures, I decided not to EVER associate the first 3 episodes with the ORIGINAL 4-6.
    Plus, the $11.50 a ticket is daylight robbery.
    shucks..

  11. throughout the whole movie i was sitting next to the lord Vad3r himself lah….you should count your blessing kenny, for you only have to put up with the BO!!
    anyway, i found the movie pretty dark too….dont like anakin becoming the bad guy 🙁 and that stupid fugly looking senator (cant remember his name :P) is so fugly lah!! kick his fugly face, me wanted to.
    one more point to add, dont think any of the character in there can actually act… :S

  12. nicktay, which one?
    kendoogie, are and were. I’m a nerd of a different kind.
    sarah, there is NO ESCAPE!
    mamatd, thanks. I am trying to move on.
    Lyon, next you’ll see me holding the Nobel Prize. hehheh.
    wil, out liaw loh. Don’t get left behind.
    ceres, yes. times like this I’m envious of the Klangites and Singaporeans.
    phelan, yea Kuching cinemas are old skool baby! 😉
    cypher, eeyer. I don’t like Orlando Broom.
    Cherry, you are absolutely right. How you know har? You live in Orchard Road is it? heh heh heh.
    sokdotcom, I aim for the best.
    Mel, use the Force to complete your assignments, Mel!
    kimm, may the titties be with you.
    hldhl, I know its grammatically correct, but actor sure got a lot of patience to speak like that lah.
    suspiciousbastard, ahhhh…. all the characters are impressive. Except Count Dooku. He reminded me of my Physics lecturer. I’m so glad he got killed.
    kimberlycun, NO! HAHAHAHAA
    kahsoon, apparently they’ve upgraded to SRD – the only cinema in Kuching to do that.
    minishorts, turns you on doesn’t it? heh heh heh
    Mike, you must be looking at the wrong Kenny. 😉
    Misery, eh I thought it was quite worth it. And don’t compare Episode III with the first two, they’re not on the same league. Not by a mile.
    Justina, everyone is doing assignments. heh. *Kenny relaxes*
    Solbi Kenobi, girls like that can be seen everywhere in Singapore. When all the girls stand out from the crowd, it kinda defeats the purpose of ‘standing out from the crowd’ in the first place.
    TBG, the acting DEFINITELY has room of improvement. George Lucas knew the selling point wasn’t the actors but the story line. So he paid much less attention to the acting. I’d say even the droids have better acting skills than the actors.

  13. for a sec I thought you were showing us the OLD tickets to Star Wars part 4/5/10..the cinema ticket paper material I blame… =P

  14. to bad you’re not a big fan of starwars…
    We could have been “one wif the force” 2gether…
    nothing can stop as long as we
    “concentrate,concentrate and focus”

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