It’s Been 6 Years Since You’re Gone

Dear Papa,

Has it already been six years already? Why is that every year, on the anniversary of your departure, emotions overwhelm me – as if you had only just left yesterday?

Yes, it has been six years since we last bid goodbye. Yet, the images of our last moments together still flashed through my head so vividly. Ah, I remember so well.

It was very early in the morning. I had a long night taking care of you, and I was sound asleep in my bedroom. An annoying phone call from a salesman woke me up. I was still bleary-eyed because I hadn’t slept the entire night. Almost immediately, our maid knocked on my door frantically and interrupted me. She asked me to rush down to your room immediately. I knew then that you must have left after saying goodbye to me last night.

I could never forget the sight of you lying on the bed, finally finding peace inside you after struggling for so long.

Papa, I always feel sorry for you. You worked so hard to build this immense business empire from scratch. And yet, just when you were about to retire and savour the fruits of your labour, you decided to go on a permanent vacation on your own.

6 years later now, I am walking in your shoes. Big shoes to fill, but I’m never going to give up. It was such a struggle because it involved so much time and money investment. Uncle said "failure is not an option" and I completely understand. If I were to fail, not only would I be losing lots of money, I would be letting down so many staff who put in their blood and sweat while I chase my dreams.

I was gonna say, "you had no idea how many sleepless nights I had" but who am I kidding? Of course you’d understand. 🙂 You had been through the struggle yourself.

Mommy and Koko are so mean! We just returned from a trip to the US and we went to Disneyland. Remember? You brought us here 18 years ago. And I cried because I got angry at you for not realising Disneyland closed early in the winter months.

I am so glad I did not cry this time round. At 28 years of age, that would have been rather embarrassing. Instead, it brought back bittersweet memories of our annual family trip.

It seems like the only time we were able to properly bond together. And it warms my heart to see there’s somebody always next to Mommy.

Jiejie’s 3 kids are so cute! Jayden is taking the role of big brother very confidently. Kirsten is particularly smart and she does really well in school. And little Lecia just smiles non-stop showing off her little dimples.

Their actions just makes everyone around them smile. I think you’ll like them a lot, Papa. Jiejie said I am not doing anything particularly special, yet I am like a magnet to the kids. I am flattered.

These days, I am feeling a lot of love and support from the people around me. Perhaps, it has always been there. Perhaps I was too engrossed doing my own thing to open my eyes and appreciate their presence. It’s so silly to think that when I was younger, I was depressed for no apparent reason and even contemplated suicide. How stupid was I?

Seeing Jiejie’s children and being around people who love me made me feel life is worth living. They are my sunshine. My time on Earth is worthwhile if I succeed in making the people around me live a little better.

Papa, I just want you to know that I am very happy now, and that I appreciate the people and the things around me. In very small ways, I am upholding your legacy even after your departure. I wanna let you know that I am proud to be doing so, and I am very proud to be your son.

Life is beautiful. I wish I could share it with you, but that’s okay. Thank you for sending me angels to take care of me in the meantime.

Till we meet again, please have a nice and relaxed rest. And have some Pike Place Roast Starbucks coffee. It’s the bomb.

By the way, if you see Osama bin Laden, tell him he’s in the wrong floor.

I miss you so much.


Lots of love,

Your youngest son.

39 Replies to “It’s Been 6 Years Since You’re Gone”

  1. Your post reminds me of my late grandfather who left us last year. I’m almost shed in tears.
    But just like what you said, “appreciate the people and the things around us”. I also do believe my beloved grandfather sending angel to me 🙂

  2. Hi BUMmer, hope this msg finds ye wellA!you went MIA for the last few Blogger outings, yes, maybe the South China Sea is a barrier to cross.
    OFF-TOPIC, pls drop me a note via email so I can detail your participation at BUM2011:) Cheers, YL, Desi

  3. these annual posts of urs always warm my heart. big hugs kenny! miss you btw 🙂
    and i cant believe how much you look just like your toddler self in that pic of you with your hands on your hips!!!

  4. Has it been so long since I started reading your blog?
    I remember that profound post that you wrote, about how you were leaving Australia to come back to Malaysia.
    You have achieved much since then, I think your father IS very proud of you.
    I know I am. 🙂

  5. Woah. I re-read ur post n saw u were taking ur photo at Disneyland at the same spot! Haha. A sense of déjà vu. E purple mickey mouse is still the same! Haha. Btw, u look cute when u r young 😉 (not to say u r nt cute now. Hahaha)
    Work hard for ur business now. I’m sure ur papa will be watching over u n will be proud of u! 😀

  6. Your annual posts about your dad has always been a very moving reminder to appreciate the moments we have with our parents. Thanks for being real.

  7. Your annual posts, hmm, they always reminds me of mine pap as well. Same anniversary as yours.
    Somehow, your wordings reminds me to be moving forwards, and be grateful to be own’s pap kid.
    Thanks Almighty, and thank you Kenny.

  8. That was a touching post entry…Somehow I am reminded of my papa who’s far from me. I left my home to pursue higher studies and somehow I am missing my old fart who’s been a big influence in my life. Nevertheless, I’ll study hard and work hard so that when I return, I have more to share to my papa.
    Anyhoo, I bet your dad’s happy to see how much you’ve achieved. Cheers!

  9. It’s a good thing that you forget to write your annual new year, birthday, april fool post, but you never forget the annual post for your father.

  10. i always love how u expressed urself on this topic every year.. very courageous and nothing short of touching.. God bless..

  11. Your dad is a great man. I used to work at Everrise Tabuan Laru(when it was there)while killing time before university. I remember both you and your brother had to work there as well. You guys had to do everything like the rest of the sales assistant. That was such a great way to teach his sons to be humble. Good to see you have become a very successful businessman like him too. Good luck!

  12. Touch by your post ~ my papa left me 6 years ago too~ i wish i could write out the way u write . i have no courage.. whenever i start ~ my tears starts to fall. 6 years~ i still cant accept the fact my papa left me.. T.T
    Kenny ~ all the best ~ may god bless u always~ Ur papa will always watching n supporting u in heaven ~ cheers ~ *peace~

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