Frontera’s Chilli Wings Challenge

Which of the following men do you think has the biggest pair of testicles?

Is it A) Deepak Gill, from KL, alcohol blogger at thirstyblogger.my

B) KY Teoh, from Penang, food blogger at kyspeaks.com

Or C) Kenny Gonzales, from El Kuching, Mexico.

We heard Frontera Bar & Grill at Jaya One in PJ has the hottest chilli buffalo wings in the whole of Malaysia. So one Sunday evening, with nothing else better to do, the three of us decided to hop over to taste for ourselves just how hot these babies are.

Frontera prides itself in serving authentic Tex-Mex food. It’s as authentic as you can get since the owner Larry is a Texan himself and he imports all the crucial ingredients for his menu directly from the States.

 

Our original intention is to jump straight into the Chilli Buffalo Wings challenge as soon as we arrived at the restaurant. And the challenge is this:

Three men. One plate of the hottest spiciest buffalo wings in Malaysia. NO WATER.

Whoever reaches for the water is out. Last man standing wins.

Thankfully, sensibility prevails and we decided to taste some of the good food here first before sending our tastebuds to Hell (and possibly never getting them back.)

Based on the owner’s recommendation, we got a few of the must-try items at Frontera on our table.

To start with: some lubricant.

A bottle of the finest pure tequila, direct from Mexico.

I’m not a big tequila drinker, so I cannot tell the difference between good tequila, bad tequila and Tila Tequila.

But according to the almighty ThirstyBlogger, this is good stuff, because it is made from 100% native Mexican plant of agave. Cheap tequilas sold elsewhere are mostly mixed with other crap, like the bartender’s piss, which is why they normally serve it with lime and salt to mask the taste.

Indeed, we don’t need lime or salt when we drink pure agave tequila. It is extremely smooth and easy to drink. And with our throats well-lubricated, it’s time to eat.

For appetizers, it’s Frontera’s Nachos – baked tortilla chips, melted cheese and a slice of jalapeno on top. Dip it with the sour cream in the middle, and I’m in heaven.

No doubt this is my favourite dish. So well-presented and tastes so good. Definitely worth coming back for more.

Next up, Chilli Cheese Burger.

Now I know it may not look like much from the photo, but this ain’t your roadside Ramlee burgers. This burger comes with one large beef patty with so much cheese and chilli con carne that as soon as you puts in your mouth, it ejaculates juices of satisfaction.

We tried other items on the menu like the burritos, the taquitos, the enchiladas and the chimichagas, Maybe because I was already too damn full eating all the nachos earlier, but I was unable to appreciate any more Mexican in me. Must return to try next time with an empty stomach.

Now, onto the Chilli Buffalo Wings challenge between myself, Deepak and KY.

Normally when you order spicy chicken from say, Nando’s, they give you the option of Mild, Hot or Super Hot. Over at Frontera, there is one more option: KILLER.

So I took a bite. KY took a bite. Deepak took a bite.

30 seconds passed. Nothing happened. I was laughing.

I thought to myself, this is too ea… hang-on-a-minute.

FUUCCKKKKK!!!

IT. WAS. FREAKIN. HOTTTTTT!!!!!!!

I got tears flowing out of my eyes, snot coming out of my nose, water out of my mouth and every other body orifices. It was intense. For the next few minutes, it was like someone napalm bombed my entire face. It was like Hiroshima and Nagasaki all over again inside my mouth.

As I conceded defeat by extinguishing my throat with a glass of ice cold water, I lo
oked up to see how my other two competitors were doing.

Surprisingly, Deep and KY were holding on fine. Determined to prove their testicular fortitude, neither of them conceded defeat. I don’t know how they did it because I was already half dead. Maybe their tongues had already been burnt to oblivion. Props to them both for surviving the hottest chilli wings in Malaysia without drinking a drip of water.

We decided it was no fun if we leave Frontera without determining a clear winner after that round, so we asked the waiter if there’s anything hotter than what we just had.

There is.

Behold, the Mexican habanero chilli.

It’s one of the hottest chilli species in the world. So hot, it makes the Malaysian chilli padi tastes like Mentos candy in comparison.

If there’s one thing that can set men apart from boys, this is it.

This devil is so terrifyingly hot, even the owner Larry needed much coaxing and convincing before he dared to down his own spice.

There was much hesitation initially. However, boys being boys, the need to prove our manhood overtook our common senses. Before long, each of us were taunting one another, “BE A MAN. DO THE RIGHT THING!”

We cut one habanero chilli into four slices, and four of us idiots downed them all at the same time.

In the words of Arnold, hasta la vista, baby.

This time, not even the best among us can stand the heat.

No words are necessary. Deepak’s face said it all.

 

“Holy shit muthafuc…!!!”

KY looked like he was giving birth.

If he did, I wouldn’t be surprised if a baby chilli came out of his ass. It was THAT bad.

I tried the bloody thing, and lemme tell ya, it was extreme excruciating pain.

My face was numb. I was dripping sweat all over and quickly losing all senses. Everything around me was a blur. I barely remembered walking round and round the restaurant wondering if I could make it back to Kuching Mexico alive.

For the next three minutes, we were squirming, moaning, swearing and breathing heavily. Other customers at the restaurant could’ve easily mistaken us for having a four-men gay orgy.

Everything was getting real ugly real fast.

I saw Larry drank water. Immediately, I gave up and gulped down another glass of water for myself.

KY hadn’t had a drink yet but he wasn’t looking too good either. A few minutes later, we saw him hurling his stomach contents into the sink. I couldn’t hold it myself and promptly followed suit.

The Frontera staff has to don them rubber gloves to clear our mess up.

With myself, Larry and KY literally going down in flames, there was only one last man standing.

Deepak Gill. He da man!

It was a night of chaos and madness. But like any good story, ours didn’t stop there.

Because each of us held the slices of habanero chilli with our fingers earlier, everything we touched after that stung and hurt like a bitch. It was almost like a perverse version of the Midas touch. Instead of turning into gold, everything we touched BURNS.

I rubbed my eyes with my hand, it burns.

I wiped the sweat off my face, it burns.

And then I made a mistake in the toilet when I took my manhood out with my hand to pee. Yes, IT FREAKING BURNS.

The worst part was yet to come.

Next morning as I sat in the loo emptying last night’s dinner out my ass, guess what?

Last night’s habanero’s chili, I was tasting it from my a-hole.

For once in my life, I can proudly say – Yes, I have a burning hot ass!

This is so cool.

Google Maps decided to honour one of my favourite places in KL – by placing a statue of a my very own life-sized Google Maps pin right in front of Bangsar Village!

Please don’t vandalise my Google Pin hor.

102 Replies to “Frontera’s Chilli Wings Challenge”

  1. that is one really hot post
    by the way
    where si the place ?
    y no chicks wan ah ?
    are you going towards the dark side of the sexual encounters
    but nonetheless it was a totally fun post among good frens
    which i could join you in the near future.
    but till then
    may the chilli force be with you

  2. Hahaa. You guys were really cool, I wish I could do crazy stuffs like those with my friends too. I like hot and spicy stuffs but I don’t think I’ll try to take that chili into my stomach. Those chicken wing looks extremely delicious though…

  3. youre stupid, do u even know the hottest pepper in the world? Habanero rank 2 u stupid. Go try Naga Jolokia pepper and tell us again if malay foods are hot at all.

  4. ROTFL! Good article! Makes me wanna go try the food at Frontera. Great publicity for them, not that they need it from the night time crowd!

  5. Thanks for the hilarious post. Reminds me of this slogan I sawfoot a habanero burger place in Silicon Valley – “You think eating it is the most excruciating pain in the world… Until it comes out the next day.”
    Cheers!

  6. Wow, really it is that hot? Wah, since KY actually reviewed it earlier, have wanted to go and try. See if can make it this week or next.

  7. Excellent post. Loved the photos. Pure gold. To my understanding the heat value of chillis are measured in Scoville Heat Units (SHU).
    Hottest Thai chilli is around 200,000SHU and the Habanero is around 500,000SHU. Google it up… I think it is.
    The Bhut Jolokia (aka Ghost Chilli) is over 1,000,000SHU, twice that of the Habanero. Not easily found. A few of my colleagues took extremely thin 3mm slices. Cried, stomach upset the whole day and had burning hot asses too (the next day)!

  8. Heya Kenny!
    food looks good!
    Was told that you would be heading down to Melbourne to club with us Malaysians in CQ!
    See you!

  9. Ahh, thanks to emptying my stomach into the sink, I didn’t suffer the hot ass effect.. much.
    blardy hell I already promised myself not to touch habanero since I first had it 8 years ago. :S

  10. Take milk/alcohol/white bread instead of ‘water’ next time.
    Also next time, take the Naga Jolokia. It’ll make THAT like Mentos.
    Bird’s eye chilli (Cili Padi): 50,000 – 100,000 Scoville units.
    Habanero chilli: 100,000 – 350,000 Scoville units.
    Naga Jolokia: 1,041,427 Scoville units.
    Another thing: Record yourselves next time.

  11. HAHAHAH!!
    i know this is mean but i couldnt stop laughing!
    another good post from u kenny!!
    HAHAHAHAHASHAHAHAAH

  12. oh dear, luckily consuming too spicy food doesn’t kill, it will just make your senses all disappear and make you lose your sanity…
    i wouldn’t even dare try it without water, but it would be fun to see who can tahan the longest… oh dear, i’m sure you’re the hottest and spiciest man on earth right now..

  13. My Surinamese friend eats that everyday. She respectfully cuts it into the thinnest slices served in the tiniest portions. U guys were suicidal…

  14. You just made my day man … LOL
    Thank GOD the office s empty I was laughing at the monitor for minutes non stop

  15. My GURL has bigger balls than all four of you combined… She took one FULL habanero on her own, liked it so much that we planted the seeds and now we have all the habanero we want…

  16. I was laughing my ass off when I read the part u touched ur manhood after touching the chili… omgosh..must be freaking burning hot…
    HOT ASS? Hahaha… join in the hot ass club, kenny.. 😛

  17. ROFLMAO!! This is blardy hilarious lol anyway, thx for the recommendation, Kenny! Quite near my house, will drop by soon lol
    But I wouldn’t try those chilli tho, my ass is hot enough so I doubt it can take any firther burning a-hole XD

  18. first half of the entry, i was thinking to myself, luckyly i got good food in my hand while reading the post. those really look good. 2nd half….. er…. dun feel like eating anymore 😛

  19. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. eat somemore chilli lah!
    the next thing you know, you’re shitting indigested chilli and you’ll be screaming,’OMG I SHITTED BLOOD OUT’
    wtf. lol!
    and i love frontera’s food:D

  20. next time when u’re here in sg, u should try the famous buffalo wings at Sunset Grill & Pub.
    they only listed level 1 to 10 in their menu but u may request up to level 30. and your name would be put on the wall if you try level 20 and above.
    personally, i enjoyed level 2. level 3 is bearable and 4 is too spicy!
    be warned cos some ppl already complain very hot for level 2.
    http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/sunset_grill_pub_seletar/

  21. WOooLaLa.. i’m heading straight to Fontera to try them out myself!!!
    Btw, They have Salsa nights there every Sunday. Maybe you should pop over for dinner and then dance your heart out from the heat! 🙂

  22. omg…chili padi of malaysia like mentos candy?!?! 0_o
    Kudos for the guts in trying habanero chilli, seriously.

  23. haha. I have habaneros growing in my garden. Produces too many that we can’t eat as fast as it grows, so we usually end up freezing them, then we can use it some other time or give to others. We just use a few tiny slices in our curries/sambal. We love spicy but not till its excruciatingly spicy. LOL.

  24. Oh wow. I was there when you did the review. No wonder you looked oddly familiar. I was there with my family. First paycheck treat. And yes the Chilli Cheese Burger was scrumppppptious! Their Margaritas were awesome too. 😀

  25. Gosh wat a nite! Thanks for d invite Kenny.
    Amelia I think u were a cpl of tables away? Haha! I think u left b4 shit hit da fan

  26. Until the day i can conquer cili padi by eating them raw & not breakin’ a sweat, i think i’ll have my brains fried entirely & be making a one-way trip to the asylum if i ever do what you guys just did…

  27. wtf! u went fontera??
    dude, i’m working nearby there laa.. brussels beer cafe..
    come over and i get you some drink..haha

  28. Hahahahhahaha! man, I can’t help laughing reading your post. So far, I’ve been to Fontera for Salsa every Sun night but never try their food. Probably I should and to justify how spicy I can tolerate. Will do it next week…you wait for my post ya 😉

  29. if u are in spore, go to Sunset Grill and order their buffalo wings… go for the highest level 😉 well, at least e ambience of e place would b worth the burning ass sensation~~ lol

  30. When I saw that Google pin I went ‘LIDDAT ALSO CAN!’
    Someday I’m gonna use the ‘Kenny Sia’ brand as a lecture hall example of hypercommercialism!

  31. My friends and I went there for Margharitas one late night, and the waiter brought us the chilli. I took a taste, spat it out, started feeling the heat in my tummy 5 minutes later, followed by stomach discomfort for the rest of the week. =___=!!

  32. There used to be a reward at Fontera IF you can personally down 3 habaneros… not sure if it’s still applicable, the challenge i mean…

  33. Hahahaha! that is exactly what happens the 1st time you eat raw habanero! You cannot be mexican if you don’t do it at least once in your lifetime. Now you can go to the mexican embassy and get you “VIP chili ppassport” hahahaha… Also there’s a south park episode where they have the same problems eating chili, but they have “cipotle-laway” to clean up the trousers the day after ROLF. See you la, malasya men rule! viva mexico!

  34. If you guys happen to go frontera again, ask Larry who started the habanero chili eating competition and see what he tells you! Freaking hot stuff!!

  35. Habanero is nothing! Bhut Jolokia on the other hand now that’s hot but still edible.
    Habanero is hot but when eaten you’re suppose to enjoy the hot spicy ness and aroma that comes with it. I eat Habanero with almost all my food. Never had problems with my stomach or ass. The tingling sensation in your mouth is better than a bloody orgasm that last a couple of mins

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