When I was in KL 2 weekends ago, I made an impromptu trip down to Malacca to pay a little visit.
Malacca is one of those places that you heard about a lot, but never really bother going down there because it’s a little out of the way. The place is really worth visiting though because it is the oldest town in Malaysia, and richly filled with romantic history and cultural heritage.
Malacca came about because legend has it that hundreds of years ago, a young Hindu prince by the name Parameswara was resting under a melaka tree when he saw a brave kancil deer kicking his angry dog into the river. Instead of taking revenge by shooting the deer and cooking it for dinner, the prince took it as a sign and name the place after the tree, calling it the Sultanate of Melaka.
Why the guy name the place after the tree instead of the animal remains a mystery to me. I guess if he were to name the place after the kancil, Malaccans today would be called Kancillians .
Around that time, Islam in Malacca was propogated here courtesy of the World’s Most Famous Explorer Without A Penis.
His name is Cheng Ho, a Chinese Muslim eunuch who worked hard to foster relations between China and Malacca. When he came, he built mosques in Malacca that look like palaces of ancient China as opposed to the giant onion structure we’re more accustomed to.
In return, we built him a giant statue right here in Kuching to commemorate his selfless sacrifice.
Malacca is a quaint little town with a character quite unlike any other cities I’ve been to in Malaysia. This historial city was once conquered by the Dutch, the Portugese and the British. The influences from those cultures on the buildings here gave the city a different and unique flavour.
This is Nicole Tan. She’s my host and tour guide during my trip to Malacca. Nicole is a masters degree student doing her research on video blogs. That’s kinda how we got in touch with each other.
During my first evening there, Nicole took me to this pasar malam place called “Jonker Walk”.
Heh, I thought the name “Jonker Walk” is really cute. It’s like, I can think of a tagline for for the Malaccan Tourism Board already – “Let’s Go Bonkers At Jonker!”
Although Malacca is better known for its history than its good food, I totally enjoyed eating the food here.
We had chicken rice balls for lunch at this place called “He Ji” at Jonker Walk. I’ve had Malaccan Chicken Rice Balls in Kuching before, but I never really understood what the obsession over chicken rice shaped into balls is all about.
That is, until I ate here.
OMG. It was the best meal I’ve ever had in a long time!
The chicken rice balls are glutinious and sticky but so full of flavour. Just dip it into the sweet chilli sauce and I’m in heaven.
Hohoho… thinking about it makes me salivate all over my keyboard.
Even the 8tv crew likes this place. There’s this lifesize cardboard in front of the place promoting 8tv’s eating show. And while we’re there, a guy looking remarkably like cardboard cutout came around and took photos with the boss.
Whoa, like he just jumped out from the picture like that.
Anyway, another Malaccan dish I really like there is their chendol.
Isn’t that the most mouthwatering thing you have ever seen?
The dessert is served with a generous slathering of gula melaka. It has a sweet caramel-like texture and comes with a taste like no other.
This is ondeh-ondeh, a classic peranakan dessert made from glutinuous rice flour and filled with gula melaka on side. One bite, and the gulamelakalicious flavour explodes inside your mouth orgasmically.
Whoa, I wanna go back there already.
Everything in Malacca is so old and antiquey. Some of the stuff there has been around for so long, only people my mom’s age would recognise what they are.
I don’t even know what to call this thing.
In Hokkien, it’s called “Kok Kok Terng”. In English, this can only be translated as “Cock Cock Candy”.
So I bought a pack of “Cock Cock Candy” for my mom to try. It brought back a flood of memories for her.
Last time a pack of these cost 10 cents. Now, they charge people RM2 per pack.
She told me when she was a little girl, an uncle would come around in a bicycle yelling “COCK COCK CANDY~! WHO WANTS MY COCK COCK CANDY~!”.
Then kids from all over would run towards him. Armed with a small hammer and a crowbar, he’d knock out little pieces of his rock hard creation, and serve them to little kids.
I mean… serve the candy lah, what are you thinking?
I wish I could stay a little longer in Malacca, but alas I gotta rush back to KL to attend an event. Still, I managed to get a taste of what Malacca is like in half a day. I got Nicole to thank for taking time off to bring me around.
She even taught me yoga, which bar none is the gayest exercise I have ever done. I am so traumatised.
To show her my sincere gratitude and appreciation, here’s a video I secretly took of an unsuspecting Nicole while she was busy entertaining herself singing George Michael’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go”.
I pissed myself laughing.
Useless Thought of the Day: If the Ministry of Health is headed by the Health Minister, and the Ministry of Finance is headed by the Finance Minister; does that mean the Ministry of Sound is headed by the… Sound Minister?