The other day, I was talking to my friend *Diane, and something she said left me quite rattled.
She said to me that if a woman wants to marry a successful husband, live a good life and be happy, then she should learn how to close one eye to her husband’s extra-marital affairs. Her theory being that most successful men do not stay loyal to their wives. When the lure of a younger meat comes along, it would be too difficult for any man to resist.
She spoke of her own experiences and the numerous times that rich, married men made a pass on her and her girl friends. As much as she was disgusted by their behaviour, she accepted it as a fact of life, something realistic that is bound to happen in an unidealistic world like this.
It was a hard pill for me to swallow but it sure kept me thinking for a while.
Are women these days so disillusioned that they’re willing to accept a less-than-perfect marriage in return for an above-average lifestyle? Are the current crop of married women thinking the same way as well? That successful men are likely to be unfaithful, and not-so-successful men are likely to be more loyal.
Because if that’s the case, then I reckon us men are in big trouble. Because that means women are marrying us thinking that we are either always gonna cheat. Or they marry us because they think we are a bunch of losers.
*Diane wasn’t the only person who thought that way. Another friend of mine, *Sylvia, a Kuching girl married to a Japanese told me exactly the same thing.
“If my husband went and slept with an 18-year-old girl, I’m not gonna blame my husband. Men have their needs what. There’s no way that my saggy body is going to compete with that of a young teenage girl.” She claimed “Instead of blaming my husband, I’m gonna feel sorry for the girl for giving her body away to a man who’ll come home to me at the end of the day.”
Whoa! Hang on a minute, am I missing something? I thought marriage is a union between a mommy and a daddy. Not between a mommy and a daddy who decided it’s a good idea to get another mommy when he’s bored with the original mommy. What has the world come to?
I couldn’t accept what they’re saying, because it seems preposterous enough that a married man should go around sleeping with a younger woman. Let alone have that act sanctioned by the wife! All my life I’m brought up to believe that once a man is married – that’s it, dating game is over. Your responsibility is now to your family. No more hanky-panky, no more fooling around.
On the other hand, I could see where the girls are coming from.
Let’s face it, every women out there wants to marry a successful guy and lead a good life. Last time, if you ask a girl what she wanted to be when she grows up and she’ll tell you “a nurse”, “a scientist” or “teacher”.
These days you ask a girl the same question and she’ll say “I wanna be Paris Hilton” or “Victoria Beckham”!
Sure, when you first got married, you’re all lovey-dovey, hunky-dorey and all those mushy adjectives ending with “-ey”. The husband became successful in his career, made a lot of money and began to meet lots of people, some of whom are young attractive women who find men like him with financial stability very sexy.
He started to have doubts in his mind, but when he came home to his messy house, his wrinkle-infested overweight wife and his Dolby Surround Sound™ bawling child, he’s gonna wonder what the hell is he doing with his life. Outside, there’s a young sexy lady wanting to blow his mind, and he’s turning her down for the sake of morality? Screw morality!
Of course, these girls would much rather their men stay faithful. In a perfect world, that would be the case. In a perfect world, there’s no AIDS, people don’t forward irrelevant SMSes and my fart smells like daisies. But for as long as my fart smells like rotten eggs, these girls are saying that they’re prepared to accept the next best thing. And that is to allow their husbands’ infedility.
If you ask me, if I can’t have both then I’d much rather have a less successful career and more of a happy family. Part of the reason why rich and successful men are having affairs with younger women is because when they were young, they worked so hard to build their career that they missed out the joys of being young.
Then they hit mid-life crisis.
I never want that to happen to me.
That’s why I plan to marry late, so I could get all the fooling and flirting around out of my system before I commit to one woman and one woman only, for the rest of my life, till death do us part.
Finally. They’ve released a movie about me! Check it out, it’s an Australian production called Kenny The Movie.
Wait… that’s not quite what I expected.
nice man, its hard to find 1-girl man anymore
polignac = lao chu ?
that’s sweet of you…=P
kennysia is a righteous husband to be.
The conclusions by everybody in the entry seems cynical. :S Because of perceived bad outcome or short-term joy, everybody compromise in some sense: ladies give in to husbands’ debauchery, husbands give in to debauchery, Kenny give in to pre-midlife debauchery… 🙂
Good on you Kenny…that’s the way…one woman and one woman only..till death parts you! 🙂
Wow thatâ€™s sad that some women expect that. It may sound bad but I think it is a very Asian thing for them to say that and I personally know of several women who are living in that situation in Kuching. I have heard the statements of acceptance from several other women, all of who were Asian but never from a White or Black woman. Their response is â€œIf he cheats Ill kick his butt, and then leave himâ€. Ladies if your man cheats kick his ass to the side of the road. Men, just like women, have self control and should practice it.
Itâ€™s also a matter of which guy you chose. Bottom line, if he is a cheater he is no good, donâ€™t try and rationalize it. A cheater is often dishonest in other areas of his life as well and not worth keeping no matter how rich. Itâ€™s not worth having a successful/rich guy if you are miserable, embarrassed, and sad for the rest of your life. No matter how well you think you can accept it I think it slowly kills a part of you each time it happens. It also deeply hurts your children. Even if you think itâ€™s a secret, kids have a way of finding out (not to mention all your friends and the gossip about town). Also if you meet a guy while he is cheating on his girlfriend/wife itâ€™s a sign of things to come. If he couldnâ€™t be faithful with her than why would he be with you?
Itâ€™s also sad, and a disservice to men in general, to say that a man who is successful will always cheat. I was raised to think that men who cheat are not REAL men. There are lots of rich successful men all over the world who are faithful and love their wives, and only their wives, until they die. I think Iâ€™m considered fairly successful, Iâ€™m also an Expatriate, and I have been faithfully married to a Malaysian girl for more than 10 years (we are both he same age). I love my wife dearly, more than anything, and would never cheat on her. If I did I would hate myself and expect her to leave me. Iâ€™m not a religious man but I did make a vow to be honest and faithful to my wife. What kind of character would that show if I wasnâ€™t. I also would NOT like my wife to say it would be acceptable for me to cheat. I donâ€™t want a jealous wife but I need one I can respect, wants me to herself, and has self esteem.
Also ladies: Raise your sons and daughters to know that cheating is wrong no matter what. If your sons see you in a relationship where their dad is cheating on you what do you think they will learn? Do you want your children to grow up to think this kind of behavior is acceptable? Sons cheating on wives because itâ€™s what dad did and mom stayed with him. Daughters accepting a husbands infidelity because mom stayed with dad all those years. Why do you want another generation to go through such sadness?
I agree with Jay. Our children learn from us.
We learn from our parents.
But we also have the opportunity to decide for ourselves how we want to live our lives.
Sure, marrying a rich man can give people the impression of material comfort. But the rich man may only flaunt his money for the benefit for others, and not treasure you and treat you like the princess that you should be.
But then, if i marry a rich old dying man, and take all his money to enjoy myself..hmm…
What if guys never get *it* out of their system? Bachelor for life?
it’s good that you think that way. i wish more men did.
That’s one deep post….
No, it is not in our system unless you believe it to be. Don’t give yourself excuses to stray. If you truly love your girlfriend or wife, banish that thought!
Touching. Truely touching.
As long as the husband give me money, I don’t care if my husband have an affair with other women because for me, money is everything.
Totally agree with you kenny, however this does not only happen in marriges, I’ve experiences a number of guys who are already in a relationship going on an affair and sleeping with another girl… So what has happening in this world?? These men can’t keep their penises in their “PANTIES”. It looks as though it’s a trend now or something…
Exactly, i have lots of girl friends telling me the same thing. They dun even mind thier bf’s going Karaoke with GRO’s they say its natural.Of course this means for me that its all good that i can visit all these places n hump these chicks~ but it still makes me wonder how warped thier mind is.They are the ones making it a norm not us by agreeing with it and by closing one eye to it. They even added.. as long as u wear condom , its O.K. Personally , i dont think a successful man will most likely be less loyal. And also that women nowadays will go for the above average life-style n forsake any other things.U know what that means ? its all about the moola.. $$$$
hmmm…now u make me think again n again of getting married…guess i’ll have to find myself few more girlfriends…fast!!..hahaha..
chill la,kenny..u’ll get the hang of it…
Good for you Kenny! 🙂 If only all guys think like you.
I’m a girl who doesn’t like rich dudes.. that’s why I chose my current bf over a spoilt rich brat.. and I’ve never regreted a single bit..
Although my mom is the one who is nagging and giving me probs.. you see.. she’s the type who thinks that no matter what, you have to marry a rich kid.. sigh..
SCREW THOSE CHEATING GUYS! theres a sayin that goes ‘you reap what you sow’ ..did i spell it right? if you cheat on ur wife,for a much hotter/sexier/younger/firmer gal..ur wife will leave you and the hottie will too,after taking all your money and making full use of you lah..its a true scenario..bcos hotties who tackle married men are generally sick and hamsap.so why the hell you think a sick and hamsap gal will stay loyal 4ever with you? Be realistic! and in the end you ended up lonely and miserable with nothing left with you..just like a greedy dog with a nice bone in its mouth,but when it passed by a bridge and saw the reflection of its bone in the water,it thought thre is another bone in the water and ‘splash’ it jumped down the water.but in the end what happen? the dog loses its original bone when it ‘splash’..it ended up with nothing left..So for those cheating guys out there,SCREW YOU! BE FAIR TO WOMEN! women are humans,we do have feelings too! and women..plz get urself educated and financially independant,so you won’t need to depend on a CHEATER for 3 meals a day..
Kenny, I think you’re one of those few good men left on this planet, besides my hubby.
Stick to your principles and you’ll definitely have a happy, fulfilling & satisfying marriage!
Hey kenny that was a very nice post with a kind of cheesy conclusion but very true.
Your friend sylvia married to a japanese who cheats: AL JAPANESE MEN CHEAT. well it may sound like a sweeping statement, but it’s true that it’s culturally accepted in Japan. I even saw on a chatshow, this well respected old Japanese woman was giving all these girls advice, and they said they hated men cos men cheat, and she said “don’t be silly, it’s only natural, it doesnt mean that in the end they don’t love you..” alright well i can’t make a decision on whether that can possibly be true, but it just goes to show, if you dont want to be cheated on, dont marry a Japanese.
It’s great to bring up such topic in your blog that reflects how unfaithful men have become nowadays.The truly sad thing is cos it’s become a norm.Which I find it so unacceptable.
One heart, one love.
ai yeh kenny no need to get marriedlah become a rich and famous playboy at kuching.
HAH! ENJOY WHILE U CAN & MARRY LATE. BUT WHEN U RETIRED UR KID IS STILL YOUNG & UR HAVE 2 WORRY ABOUT THEIR FUTURE.MARRY EARLY UR KID IS MORE OR LESS ON THEIR ON FEET. U CHOICE. BTW I KNOWN I AM SUCESSFUL ONCE I HAVE A MISSTRESS.OF COUSE I HAVE 2 SEEK MINE PARTNER APPROVAL FIRST AS I HAVE A BIG HOUSE WITH A BIG BED.ENOUGHT 4 3.FIY I HEARD RUSSIAN GIRLS IS BEAUTIFULL & ‘CHEAP’.SO KENNY WHAT SAY U.
Love is such a powerful word, a word people often misuse. Something they take for granted. Something they beat and abuse. Love a never-ending passionate feeling? No, a never-ending hurt. Something you loathe having. But can’t stand by yourself without.
Love, nothing but a game, played by the foul, the selfish and the sweetest. More strings to add to our arms. We’re like puppets,in the game of ‘love’.We jump when told, we laugh when not funny, we gasp when not surprised, we impress when we have no hope. Small useless game pieces,why play? why even bother?
Love, no matter how you see it. It’ll always end with nothing but pain and sorrow. But without it all will be mournful and with it the same.
I don’t understand why bother feeling? If there’s nothing to touch? Love, only a blindfold to stretch what is unreal. To hide what is webs of lies, sorrow, and pain.
Why must we need this blind fold, this feeling, this mourning, this sorrow, this warmth, these tears. No one seems to know the answer. All I know is that this feeling is much needed and desired.
I know what you mean, but I beg to differ on acceptance of cheating being an “asian thing”.
The western ladies might talk tough, because that’s how theyve been taught by the media (incidentally, how do you think all this “girl power” pop-culture comes about in the west? it’s trying to teach girls not to accept infidelity, because they HAVE BEEN for years). Many women may be upset by infidelity and get angry, but still, MANY do not have the strength to leave their partners. In the end, isn’t this acceptance? Isn’t the myth of strong western women more attributable to a (very good) media ideal (which I agree with, but don’t believe is the case) rather than something based on what happens in real life?
Infidelity is probably not much rarer in the west, and neither is acceptance of it. I think it probably mostly comes down to this Christian ethic of denial. Denial of desire, denial of true feelings, denial of paedophilia (which is rife in the clergy), homosexuality (also rife in the clergy) etc etc.
Of course I’m not saying we should accept infidelity, or that we shouldnt try to fight it, but I don’t think it, or acceptance of it is necessarily more prominent in asia.
I’m very happy that you report a happy marriage and hope everybody can achieve happiness the way you have.
Not all men are like that ba…agreeing to Jay’s comment, men have self control just like women do..they’re no idiot who just think of fooling around all day long. If ladies are going to have that presumption that their men are going to find other chicks when their body go saggy in times to come then sure they’re going to be so happy right now having that pre-planted ideas in their heads they are “allowed’ to do so with wives’ “permission” way ahead. It doesn’t mean anything to be married.
“commit to one woman and one woman only, for the rest of my life, till death do us part…”
men tend to say such thing to their partner , but at the end they jz neva keep their promise..
spot on, Kenny. this principle of staying true to one person after marriage is worth upholding. for me, i feel that a real man is someone who is committed to one woman. not someone who surrenders to his urges for other women. that’s just weak.. i’d rather stay single if i can’t find a guy like that. i can be rich n successful myself.
ASIAN FEMALES NEED TO HAVE GIRL POWER!
DON’T ACCEPT YOUR MAN CHEATING ON YOU! KICK HIS @#$! ASS IF HE DOES THAT!
GO GIRLS GO!
p/s I’m a guy 😛
kenny. you’re so romantic like a tomato….
wow it makes u think hard i can see.
u cant deny the old saying:
men are control by dick.
when come to sex, men try to conquer as much women as possible in his life. it is perfectly fine to be horny, thats y more and more men choose to marry later. Great entry!
I once heard a pastor said: “You see the education is going for the peak nowadays but you dont see the morality is going the same direction as education”. Seeing all that immorality happening around the globe, i still do not wish to believe the saying “women think with brain but men think with the lower part of the body”. Do something men~ and women as well.
Hi Kenny..Marriage is based on four things:1)Ur faith 2)Look 3)Money 4)Bloodline=keturunan.
If u choose Bloodline,ur spouse might look down at you if u come from family which is not royalty or some big name watsoeva!If u based it on Money,ur partner might leave u once they met some other richer mate.If u based it on look,sexier outsider will win in the end..but if u get married for God’s Sake…u know that u or ur partner won’t have the guts to cheat!Cos in God’s name,marriage is about sharing,making things better,to enrich ur point of view.Over all,it is supposed to make u a better person,for today and the hereafter world!I strongly believe in that,InsyaAllah!But as u know..some people just dun care,even if the religion has outlined the basic and necessary thing from the start,they always screw up coz they always follow their own lust and idealism.i believe avery religion has their own guidelines..but then again..people nowadays are so ignorant..that they reflect only the bad thing on life.I hope my marriage stays as it is now..hapyy,contented,trustworthy.most of all,may we all grow to a better person each coming day!peace!
someone i know wants to leave his wife of years to go for a teenage girl. Well.. probably love is blind. This guy is not like rich and successful.. and the young girl is not like very pretty or sexy at all. And the wife has been so understanding and having the patience with him over the years…. sometimes you wonder what have you done wrong to deserve all this? Probably at the first place.. by marrying the wrong person… who you thought will spend the rest of your life together with, thru’ good and bad times…
Sad isn’t it?.. and it really hurts (deeply). Not every woman can just close one eye just like that.. especially if the woman really loves the man so much.
Kenny.. good to know you’re a one woman man…. 😉 Wish that some men will think the same.
maybe i was raised with old values, or maybe i am a little airy fairy still in the head, but my dad brought me up to believe marriage is for life and for the happiness of 2 people (and then the children) than for one’s self-gratification.
i don’t believe in infidelity “so long as my husband comes home to me at the end of the day”. if you want to logicalise everything, his money would be half spent on that extra women, rather than fully spent on the family. this can result in negligence sometimes.
but the emotional side of things is that this man’s heart is no longer solely yours and your family’s. i will not sleep in the same bed as such a man because it is not only painful, it breaks the very reason why we even got married.
no, i don’t believe in tolerating infidelity. divorce rates are high, and infidelity rates are going up. is there a way out? maybe, but i am not sure what it is in the short run, but perhaps things could be prevented if people stop trying to get married because “it’s the right thing to do, we have dated xxx amount of months/days/years.” and etc excuses that shouldn’t be lead into marriage.
so thought provoking kenny..but i think that men who do that are pigs though.they want to have their cake and eat it too.
i have been married for 10 years. it has not been easy and of course there have been temptations for both of us.
in my opinion though, the spouse (man or woman) SHOULD NOT turn a blind eye if one of them cheats. the cheating spouse must be brought to book and made accountable for his/ her actions.
a marriage is about commitment to long-term fidelity and love. cheating is not an expression of either of the above.
having said that, it’s also a good idea for both spouses to remain financially independent should there be a need to go separate ways later. it is also easier to preserve your self worth and respect when you are financially independent of each other.
Good to know at least there is some sense of morality out there in the world. I thought it was depleted already…
Why not marry early and fool around with your wife? Same thing what!
ok, here’s my situation. hubby is financially secure, loving father but a lousy hubby! wil not kiss me on my mouth cox according to him im er..a slobber. wil not make love cox he’s tired all the time. tell me, how can a wife who is young (30x) and prettty(if i say so myself) stand not being kissed, huged and touched by your half? do i have the right to find affections from somewhere else besides my kids?? how do i keep sane? trust me, i have tried everything to make this work but somehow its always dead wall at the end..
Well. It is not a problem only about man. Gals also have the same problem. I know some gals (pretty gals, of course) that DATES with other guys even they are alreayd in relationships.
They claims that they are faithful to love. Ya. Faithful to love, as long as you dont sleep with guys other than your “claimed” bf??
So dont just blame men. Human are always selfish creatures. Huamn do things for their own needs. Men want to find other women coz their physiological need cannot be satiated. And they really do that when they can afford it. Same for women. They want to displace their “bf” if they feel the “bf”s are not rich enough of handsome enough. And they really do it if they feel they are attractive enough to find some other guys. So they date with other guys. Before they find one, they can still claim that “I’m so faithful to love”.
What a f***ed world.
awww… that is sooooo sweet…
Hmm, very interesting take. I do quite agree with your philosophy in marrying late and such.
However, in this day and age; love doesn’t really exists (that is my opinion only eh..)
As long as the person is financially viable, he will have a higher chance to lure the opposite sex. Nice house, nice car, swanky clothes coupled with monies to burn. Doesn’t really matter if the fellow is a pure breed asshole.
Good and decent guys with average income will have a harder act to follow. I have seen and experience one myself and I realise that love is really a fickle thing. It is hard to convince the girl that you can be a good provider in future whereas another guy that is chasing her has all the necessary goods to provide her comfort and security instantly.
In conclusion, money rules in our current society. Love takes a setback but I digress…..
Wish you all the best that you find your mate and marry happy Kenny.
I personally don’t believe in marriage though. Just wanna get my beach house and Ducati and ride away
Confirmed your hubby is a GAY. If not, is your pussy damn suck! No feel at all. He rather DIY them stick his dick in your lousy pussy.
it’s because of guys like you still exist in this world that makes me keep on being hopeful of this cruel cruel world.
Hey, your argument just went one round as you are saying that you will still flirt but it’s just before marriage. Marriage to the modern ppl these days is just a formality but the true meaning is given by the parties involved. I am sure if many ppl can see through the curtain of marriage, it’s loyalty and love that counts. You can have marriage without loyalty and love but you cannot love someone without loyalty.
Anyway it’s all a question of needs and wants. The guy wants someting more exciting, the girl doesn’t want to worry about putting a meal on the table. Kenny, blogging about it doesn’t help as this should have been females’ best kept secret, now that the cat is out of the bag i.e. some woman condone such act, it puts them in a compromise position. Great Blog!
PS: I am a typical male.
Kenny, a bit scary too.I got to agree with the phrase “These days you ask a girl the same question and she’ll say “I wanna be Paris Hilton” or “Victoria Beckham”!”.
Over here (Bangkok) having mistresses is a status symbol. Men do it simply because they can or they want to feel young (if they are old) again.
A measure of success.
But cheaters will always cheat no matter their financial condition. No justification needed.
Oh, and there is true love la.
This is typically what happens in the modern world of compromise. Compromise is good in some situations allowing a win-win solution to an other-wise sticky situation. However, there are always somethings that shouldnt ever be compromised. And one of the things that we should never compromise is our principles.
Unfortunately, people dont believe in principles and ideals anymore because they are hard to achieve and keep, and the end result is the compromises which leads to morale bankrupcy.
Myself, I dont believe in compromises when it comes to my principles in life. It’s always only Black and White, never in shades of Gray. That’s my 2 cents.
*claps* party tonite 🙂
It’s glad to know that they are still nice men in existence, or at least nice thoughts, though these men claims to be loyal to their wives, how can one be sure till the day he dies..
I have lost hope since long ago..and developed my theory into believing that if I never fall for someone, I’ll never get hurt then.
man, it is touching n truely make me fall in love to u, kenny. so nice if my future husband had same thought as u. let us pray….
i agree with kenny….it aint all bout money..money can come n go just like dat *snaps fingers*..but somebody who loves u 4 who u are n not meterial reasons…now dats s’thing dat is hard to get n if u do, pls freaking hold on 2 it!!!
wow.. you sound like a really nice guy. i hope you keep true to your words. it’ll be nice to have more men thinking like you =)
I think it is unacceptable for a person to cheat on their partner – this goes for both men and women.
A person who cheats has no respect or love for their partner and there is no reason to stay in a relationship with a person like that. Men are not genetically predisposed to being lusting dirtbags. There is something called self control and everyone is expected to use it.
A marriage is a binding commitment to love and to be faithful to one and only one person. If you are not more than 100% certain that you are ready for this then do not get married. Spare your partner all that undeserved hurt and pain.
Girls – You do not need to rely on a man to provide for you especially in this age where everyone is educated to a reasonable degree. Get yourself a job and be financially independent. With this comes respect and somehow men seem to like that. The dirtbag percentage of men are more likely to stray knowing that no matter what happens you cannot leave as you are dependent on them. Any girl who says they can deal with their husband cheating as long as they can enjoy the luxurious life of being a ‘tai tai’ has a serious misconception of reality.
Just another interesting point to note… A woman’s real enemy is another woman. Not a man. So girls, have some decency and respect for other women too. Don’t be a home breaker. There’s nothing in it for you dealing with a scum bag man and you’re only causing hurt to someone else who doesn’t deserve it.
It’s rare to find guys who think like you. But maybe I’m still young, and don’t really know much yet, but I believe that a woman will be happier with a faithful man who may not be as successful as one who’s errr, prone to infidelity. But then again, people shouldn’t generalise, there are lots of faithful and successful men out there. And anyway, true happiness is what comes from the heart
So how are you and Nicole these days? 🙂
I think there shouldn’t even be ANY fooling around in the first place for any relationship.. and its sad how the women accept it as how their successful husbands are gonna have an affair, BECAUSE IF HE DOES I WILL FILE FOR DIVORCE MUAHAHHAHA AND GET HALF HIS MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi, i’ve to agree with u about being monogamous. The thing is be single if u still wanna fool around with those girls out there. Y make life complicated and bring suffering to your beloved wife and children who are the most innocent of all?
so how many gals u ‘fool’ around a day?
awww kenny u so sweet
i wanna marry u..
it’s kinda de fact..
rich man, most of them thinks that money can buy them anithing, expecially women..
marriage means that you had found ur one and only love that you can stay with him/her forever and ever, till death bring both apart..
for me, a female, wont wanna marry a guy who dun treat and respect me as his one and only love for his life..
say me selfish or anything like tt..
i wont wan my husband’s heart to be shared with another gurl..
It is easier to be said than done. But I do know one thing. Man will change when the time comes…. eventually! I’m talking thru experience and people that I know around me. The unexpected person will surprise you one day.
Too bad, i’ve seen to much to be convinced otherwise.
Rich man = jerks.
They talk now, change later, and forget what they have promised in the first place.
yes, i guess that’s how life goes.. i have a boyfriend for 8 years, even if it hurt me i would allowed him to go out and meet girls, coz i dont want to lose him. 🙁
yes, i guess that’s how life goes.. i have a boyfriend for 8 years, even if it hurt me i would allowed him to go out and meet girls, coz i dont want to lose him. 🙁
It touches me deeply to see that you are one of the guys who strongly believe in faithfulness and monogamous marriage.
I had heard from a few friends who believed in ‘close one eye’ concept as they claimed that at the end of the day, their husband/bf will come home to them, love them the most and most importantly don’t even love the young vixens.
Yet, I don’t believe that their husband/bf ‘love them most’ because all I can see is the lack of respect for them. Have they forgotten that love is supposed to comprise of respect, care, considerate and compromise? How can you say that he loves you most when he’s trampling all over your self-respect? Do you think he makes you an exception as a human while he goes around sleeping with other women whom he sees them as some sex toy? If all you care is whether he gives you money to spend at the end, then, you are really no different from those ‘mistresses’.
Ladies, wake up.
As for guys, if you think that Kenny and a few commentors are just being soft and men is cheating is an ok thing to do (I know a couple of friends who are like that, trust me, I lectured them and they never get it), how would you feel if your wife/gf go around sleeping with other guys? Don’t tell me that you’ll feel elated for having such sexually driven partner, I don’t believe you. I often find guys who are unfaithful to their partners themselves are not happy to find their gf/wives are unfaithful too. I’m sure you’ll feel the exact way that those girls who had been cheated on – Trampled pride.
For this sort of guys, I hope it serves as a wake up call.
On the other side of the argument, I do kind of feel sorry for the cheater, particularly the successful rich cheater. Why? Simply because they are being valued as a wallet, entertainment unit and tool.
Of all things, not valued and loved as a unique individual human.
God damn it, my comment is too long :p
yes, i guess that’s how life goes.. i have a boyfriend for 8 years, even if it hurt me i would allowed him to go out and meet girls, coz i dont want to lose him. 🙁
Wow….I am surprised that there are women who think this way. I’m not a feminist or anything, but to all females out there: WHERE IS YOUR SELF-RESPECT?! Sigh…I suppose this is the outcome of a fallen world. And kenny, I love your blog, but I disagree with you about flirting and having all sorts of relationships prior to marriage. Marriage is a huge commitment, and you should stick with it. Even if you meet the love of your life AFTER you get married, you can still choose to stay in it. But even BEFORE you get married, you should have marriage in mind before getting into a relationship (this is not to say you WILL marry the person, but you PLAN to). For what is the point of being “committed” to a person if you do not plan to marry them? You’re just setting yourself up for heartache. As for “flings”, well, I’m opposed to them because I feel that one’s physical and spiritual self are united, and when you violate one self, the other suffers.
And to “the angel”: I’m sorry that you have hurt so much in the past. But loving is not a crime, and one has much to gain from loving another. Yes, love hurts. In fact, if love did not hurt, one might question whether that is true love at all. There is so much joy in loving, and being loved. I hope that one day, maybe you will start to love again. You may cry, but I hope that you will mostly laugh, and see that it was worth the tears you shed in the past. That you may truly appreciate the present, and things that are yet to come.
Men rule. Kenny’s not a man.
Men should have more than one woman. Woman can only have one man.
that’s y i married a man who’s 14 yrs older than me. dat’s not to say love is absent from the equation; it’s the main ingredient. but he’s happy he got a sweet young thing and i’m happy to get a stable, secure husband – not only financially, but emotionally as well.
i know a Msian friend of mine who believes that we are really little better than serial monogamists. she thinks that as long as we re in a loving relationship (legally married or not) we tend to be faithful to our spouses/partners. but we ll be more than willing cheat on them once the love-bond ends, or when love turns into routine, or boredom, or simply the knowledge sometimes that you ve gotten hitched for reasons other than wanting to be with your spouse/partner.
society and all the major religions have told us that man must be faithful to one woman alone. i myself dont think such ideas are inherent in human nature. they are and have been countless socities and cultures in the world that discount or disregard one-to-one fidelity in marriage.
its damn gross
convert to muslim and marry 4 wives lo
Cheaters are narcissistic lovers. It is different from loving someone truly.
These guys have no backbone, and will live with emotional scars from guilt, and become neurotic.
I’m your typical malaysian young man. And the fcked up thing is that every adult man in my family has cheated before, and some, still cheating. Every. Single. ****er.
My grandma says, “One day you’ll understand.”
I say, “Screw that la, popo, you raised lamers. But I still love you la..”
There are many books out there that are there to help couples who want to stay in love with one another. Start reading. Keep in shape, and do what it takes to help keep your marriage lively. I believe no prudent man/woman would ignore the fact that they’d need help to escape the world’s increasing divorce rates and the ‘one eye closed’ mentality.
I for one am optimistic. Where are the men with integrity, discipline, personal values and wisdom? They are out there.
To be honest, if I were a woman, I would not compromise on my man.
I would not want to compromise my life. Maybe one day, when enough of the world’s population will only marry proper and eligible people, these losers will feel outcasted, and begin conforming. Sadly, its the other way around.
convert to muslim and marry 4 wives lo
No matter what anyone assumes – love and loyalty does exist – and those of you who choose not to know it, well I feel sorry for you.
The more I hear about women who are willing to compensate their happiness for the sake of their husbands’ infeditiliy, the more lucky I feel to have my husband.
They make me realize what a great guy he is – how sweet and loving, and most of all, loyal he is to me. He’s also pretty darn hot and makes a good living.
After we find perfection in a soul mate – how could we possibly ever find any other partner tempting?
My take on that –> TREAT YOURSELVES TO THE GOOD LIFE LADIES!!
It is time to raise the bar:
Now men must be rich AND loyal 🙂 (These guys DO exist!!)
So what are you waiting for? Lose that pathetic excuse for a scrotum and get yourself a guy with a REAL dick!
thre is no rite or wrong answer… in our world today it all depends on our personal preferences…and the concept on wants and needs and the ability to deliver… those ‘one woman man’ idealist…wud u rather ur husband sit home all day..not being able to put the basic 3 meals a day on the table…sit around do nuthing but says i love u? or wud u rather he showers u wif gifts and u be envy of all the other ladies around u (but he does sleeps around a little but at end of day…comes back and still loves u)? not all people are lucky enough to have a perfect partner…that leaves a lot of us who have to compromise…getting one thing…losing another… love is about compromise… ‘we cant always get what we want…we can work hard to achieve it… but we must always get what we need…’ *rules of business*
it all comes down to our own choices 🙂
-just my two cents of thoughts-
“Men rule. Kenny’s not a man.
Men should have more than one woman. Woman can only have one man.”
It’s people like you that I don’t consider as human. Because you really are not. What you just said demonstrated that men are inconsiderate sexual stupid selfish bastards who don’t even think women as another human being. Oh wait, I shouldn’t have said “people like you”, it should be “Stupid aliens like you”. I don’t even know which species and genus you belong to.
So, yes, you are not human. This world is a better place without stupid aliens like you.
you know what, maybe its because you talked to someone who wasn’t probably as religious as some other people in your country.
ask any makcik on the street whether she’d tolerate an adulterous husband? she’d either divorce him, castrate him, or if she’d really kind, stay with him but never forget nor forgive him. i’m not as old as a makcik, but hey! i think the same way (i’m going on 19 by the way)
according to islam, if one is caught in the act of berzina-ing then thats it, you could bloody die and you’re also condemned to hell. and you know what? i stand by that because adultery is wrong. why sow your wild oats now when you’ve already your chance at it?
lets think of it this way. men are horny since they first start morphing into men, no? so why do the older men go around looking for the younger ones, when the younger men haven’t a chance yet? its time to give the young generation a chance people.
why your girlfriends have these kinds of views. well i don’t know. i’ve always thought its the couple’s responsibility to always have a spicy sex life, such that such things couldn’t happen.
its good that you’re a 1 woman man! such people are few.=)
It does not only apply to succesful people. Even those who are just average will tend to wander.
whoah …. kenny!!
will u marry me?
what is that… your fourth marriage proposal?
wow i found that really touching! lol. that last line was really sweet!
A person goes through stages in his or her life. Just go back and read your essay assignments when you were in high school, embarassing huh?
So what you feel today might not be what you feel in the future. Just ask yourself one thing: who was your favourite band\movie star\or insert any object or person here, when you were 10, 15 and now?
You change with your unique experiences (good or bad) in your long arduos life.
I agree that infidelity is bad, very bad. But we are made of flesh and blood, unfortunately.
Not all extra marital affairs are for sex alone. Sometimes you will meet a person that is more compatible than the person you married when you were still young or immature. Age has nothing to do with maturity. Some people never achieve maturity in their lifetime. Just go to some “fing tao” place and talk to those 50 year olds.
Well its a debate that will have no winners.
Anyway I love your style and your youthful energy. Cheers and keep up the good work!!
Kudos to you, Kenny for holding dear to your idea of what a marriage should be. Don’t ever lose that.
Your woman friends’ cynicism really sends a chill down my spine. That a woman has no qualm about hurting another really saddens me. (Very often, it is not just the married couples who are involved. There are innocent children too.) That a woman should turn a blind eye to her husband’s philandering ways shows a lack of self-esteem on her part. It speaks volumes for the moral fibre of the society we live in.
But all is not lost. It’s heartening to note that there are so many people out there who feel disgusted by infidelity.
If I’m a gal, I cant accept such a thing…
Being a guy, I also cant agree or accept smth like this!
I’m quite appalled that a gal actually thinks it’s ok…
The world has changed but I’m only 20! Wow…
Your pictures are damn random.
the direction one chooses to take depends on the principles they were brought up with.
for me, i will not compromise my principles for anything immoral and will not condone the actions of anyone who does.
Monogamy is a relatively new concept imported from the decadent Western societies in less than 100 years. In more than 2000 years, conservative Chinese (and Muslim) societies accept the idea of men having “3 wives and 4 concubines (san qi si qie)” (and 4 wives in the case of Muslim societies). And so there is nothing immoral for Chinese gals to close one eye.
Although it’s a bit far away for me to think about marriage, i do agree dat a happy faithful relationship is a lot better than some successful career. On the other thought i’d be good to have both
You sure you are going to have only and only woman ? This is what you say now. Later when you become f****** rich or f****** hamsap, you will have different thought
now this is a good post
While monogamy may be a relatively new concept, in my opinion, it is also a better concept than the ‘san qi si qie’or conservative chinese thinking that it’s ok for men to fool around. The conservative chinese concept came around bcause of a careless disrespect for women. Women had a very low or no status at all in society.
Let me point out an analogy. The concept of women having an equal status to men is far newer than the concept of monogamy. In the old days, women were not allowed to own property, estranged wives were separated from the children they bore. Does that mean that gender equality is less than the idea that women are subordinate to men?
No one is saying that girls who think that it’s ok for men to cheat are immoral. I think Kenny (if I may so presume) is saying a completely different thing. He is viewing the woman he is going to love as an equal. He loves her and wants to give her all of him. There are no half ways.
To 40 something:
I don’t agree with what you said. I don’t think it’s mature to cheat at all. In fact, I think it reflects a lack of self-control and immaturity on the cheater.
There will always be someone out there who might appears to ‘fit’ you better than your spouse. There will always be someone out there more perfect than your spouse. But love should transcend lust and passion. Relationships require hard work, and just because I am not very happy with my spouse right now, and that Mr X looks like a far better fit with me means I can go cheat.
you are one of the few good men in this world.
yeah, get infected by the one-gina disease!
kenny if what u said is true, u really have my respect
Interesting perspective, but I really don’t understand the amount of sympathy towards the shallow women.
Shallow stupid women who are only concerned with their high maintenance lifestyles deserve to marry shallow stupid rich men who will cheat on them.
I think it’s perfect match.
I mean seriously, if your only concern of your other half is that of looks and wealth, you really won’t have a happy marriage. A lifetime commitment will require more than just good looks and money. Looks will go away, and money can disappear too.. but what’s in the mind, heart and soul will stay forever.
i am reminded of a quote from the first season of ally mcbeal (before your time perhaps, kenny :))
“the world is no longer a romantic place. but some of its inhabitants still are. dont let the world win.”
its a real sad state of affairs when people feel they need to rationalise their choices in life. i hope that if i were ever ‘tested’ in this manner, i would not compromise my ideals. i would want full commitment and settle for nothing less.
Prenuptial agreement Kenny…Prenuptial agreement, it’s the safety belt for all marriages.
OMG kenny you’ve caught the same disease i have!
Cheers to you kenny.
Isn’t it sad that this kind of thought occurs mainly to Asian women, how fucking pathetic is that? It’s a fact of life when you jut sit down and accept and forgive the fact that your husband cheated on you?
I agree with the comment at the beginning of this thread
-all of who were Asian but never from a White or Black woman. Their response is â€œIf he cheats I’ll kick his butt, and then leave himâ€-
These kind of women that forgives their husband for cheating continuously on them are pathetic, you can say that they tried to keep things together and stuff, but in the end, it’s just gross disrespect on herself no matter what. In the end, the husband is still gonna fool around and think that he deserves it.
I don’t understand why it is so hard to work hard for your own education and work and make a decent living yourself instead of trying to get married rich people to support you. Truth is, in the end, when you are old and saggy, most possibly, your “income” from the rich bf is gonna stop coming anyway.
so to get the flirting bug outta your system . .
you pak-tuo with plenty of women . ..
sleep the night them and have the time of your life for that night . .
and then get married ?
ummm .. .. y not ?
Cheating is wrong. Period
no one is consider cheating unless get caught
ya, play hard b4 your commitment. marriage is a commitment between the two. if one side use marriage to reach their goal but no pure love, this is not called a marriage, this is call-selling body in an accepted way by society. i feel very sorry for those who have to take this option cause too poor financially. some use marriage for companionship, or others etc etc.
good that you are honest to yourself Kenny, you are your own judge, who can judge who in this world, arent we all facing same thing here on earth? and i can see you are romantic guy! if were a lady, i want my husband to focus JUST on me and no one else! otherwise, i rather love myself.
no worry about the hair, it look so minor problem still, i personally reckon your hair problem is due to stress, you need a girl or many girls to make each other happy, take care bro!
hey you dont laugh, you the same!
(if u laugh)
good that you think that way.but when temptation comes along,its gonna be really hard to say what you’ll do.
Who r u arrow?
Cheating is plain wrong. ‘Nuff said.
I won’t cheat on my boyfriend/husband. And I pray to God he won’t do the same to me.
Btw, I have no desire to be either Paris Hilton or Victoria Beckham. At all. 🙂
Good entry! Show the world what real men should be like.
OH please, men who cheat don’t deserve a wife or children.
It’s sick for wife to know that the man she has commited herself to is cheating and even worse for a child to find out.
you’re a good man as l can say!!
but then..its always hard to say when things change..like..what if ur wife cheated on u, would you still be loyal if she still comes back home to you. So l guess things are really hard to say . BUt then its good to have fun before u really marry.
LOL..you can’t accept what Diane said? That is a fact closer than home. You should learn to respect these women more, else you may not have lead such a blissful family life as you had.
when i was in love, i have no appetide for anyone else! the hollywood star cant even catch my eyes.
Please do take into account that you are INDEED LOSING HAIR… sometimes something just cannot wait…
haha… you got me well. I take back my inconsiderate comments. Show respect to you. For women out there, sorry!
Great men share love. They are not selfish. Great men take more responsibilities, the macro views of men are different from women. Women are best at micro views.
However, I don’t agree men go after women for lust and sex. We should have respect for men ourselves and women themselves. Great man don’t go women for sex only, they go after women for loves and carings also.
Finally, after married, I concur with man to woman only. GOD bless the couple.
hope you can become a good husband
to me,a good husband is,a man i love.
sometimes men are just children,affairs sometimes happen just like a child escape from school for a day becoz he wants to play.
if i dont care about his future,i can punish him by kick him out of the school forever
but for someone you care,enduring and forgiving is the way
not all men can be as good ambition as you,if no enduring,and seeing facts from many angle,marriage is just like a paper you can tear it anytime
*clap my hands*
I’ve got to mention that a strategy of marrying at an older age has its problems too, if you are planning to have children. Chances are you’d be aiming for a woman who is young enough to bear children safely, so then, you’d have to marry someone younger by quite a bit? It is well known that a big age gap can present problems in a relationship, although there are exceptions, of course. Also, increasingly studies show that children born to older men appear to have congenital problems – a recent one showed a six-times greater risk of autism for over 40 yr old fathers. Well, that’s if you plan to have kids in the first place..
I’m a silent reader of your blog, and you don’t know me..but i just had to comment on what you just posted..A few girlfriends and I talked on this subject too, and true, in this world, there’s always this link with rich, succesful husbands = unfaithful.. but, of course like you, i believe in the meaning of long and lasting marriage. Cheers! its a good blog!
ooo.. kenny looks sexy!! i like dat pic!
I dont understand why some girls are still bent on looking for men who are rich and successful. Can’t you be that yourself? Rather than depending on someone else, the best would be to stand on your own two feet.
Name me a rich guy ( even average guys ) who doesn’t have affairs and I’ll show you a pig that can fly. Unfortunately this is the REAL world that’s why women must empower their daughters to be educated, financially independent and not take this shit from their husbands.
I’m so glad that there are still guys who think like you do! I’m sure your wife-to-be will be really happy and blessed to know that whatever you have written came from your heart.
And I don’t think that most women would close one eye to her husband’s infidelity. I hope my future husband will stay faithful till the very end! even if our lives is not as ‘perfect’ and ‘successful’ in some definitions.
im glad guys like you are still around. knowing that woman now think that way, what abt men, you tell me. so it shows that you are very rare. whoever you marry, will be very lucky.
god, you’re so nice
I’m sure there are many good comments here, but no chance in hell do I have the time to read it all.
Kenny, your writing shows that you are a moral man but it is also a bit naive. For you it is important to not commit adultery in your future marriage. The idea that you will be able to fuck around before marrying and get the lust for young girls out of your system is absurd, the real world doesn’t work like that at all, it’s a bit like the christians that believe they can cure homosexuals. You will always lust for young girls the rest of your life no matter how gorgeous your wife is, it is hardwired in your genes and the core of your mind.
Fucking others than your wife is not necesarily a death sin, this is very much a cultural thing. If your wife isn’t too worried about it, maybe she has her own lover, then it can actually be totally ok.
I don’t consider myself a paticularly moral person and certainly not a role model for anyone, I got several girls that I fuck regularly, and I date even more girls. Are the girls happy about that, not really, but they know that they are not the only one, I’m pretty open about my affairs.
Another thing to keep in mind is that generally speaking girls are not as conserned about physical extra marital affairs, they operate on an emotional level. Many girls/women will accept their husband/boyfriend fucking other girls as long as they are nr.1.
If the girl knows that she is the one you love the most then she will not get too upset about what you do in your spare time. She want’s a husband that will hang around to support the kids, that is her priority number one.
I believe you Kenny.
I don’t think any other bachelor male bloggers, especially, would dare to publicly declare in their own blogs that they will “commit to one woman and one woman only, for the rest of my life, till death do us part.”
All the best & I’m very happy for the woman you’re gonna marry one day. 🙂
I just hope & pray that I will have the opportunity to be loved by a man like you. 😉
I would NEVER condone a cheating husband…I can’t believe your friends are saying what they said…It’s either I have it all or none. And I’d rather have none than half.
gud one kenny!
i reli agree to wat u said..
i cant bliv there r woman out there who r ok wit d fact their husband is sleepin around wit younger girls n don blame them..lik wat the heck wei!!!!wat hav this world turn into..i mean..no offence but woman behavin lik dat perceiving things dat way r kinda cheap..P-L-E-A-S-E la!! its ur husband la n u let him go havin so much of fun wit some tender girls who he thinks is wayyyyyyy beta den their wives..d oni reason they go bac to their wives is coz of their responsibility towards their children!! if they had their way they wud not even go bac..COME ON..don b so naive n green woman…
stay moderate kenny..don b so freakin rich o ul go round lusting for tender girls to hav sex wit
Kenny, I keep wondering though, why would women nowadays have the idea to insist marrying rich guys? Has the world become so materialistic that love does not exist anymore, where marriage is only to gain another’s property, so that she (ahem not they) can live happily ever after?
well, impressed by what u said…
but not going to believe u anyway.
u wont hide ur birdie to other women although married.
it’s so sad to know the awful truth on marriage these days. where has fairy tales gone to in our lives?
i believe every succesful man has a nice caring woman at his back to support his ups and down during all these years of building a success career.
are we women, became sex slaves once again? and do we women, have ever been the eyes of the husband once?
I’m young and all (you’ve came by my blog you know prolly how old I am) and experienced how it feels like being approached by married men.
I feel disgusted and I wanna avoid these people, y’know.and I do want a faithful husband. so if my husband in future fucks someone else, I couldn’t take it.
I love faithfulness-it’s a choice someone should make (then again,it depends on individual)- but don’t you think faithfulness brings more joy? as cliche as it sounds, it’s very true,to me at least.
nice post there kenny.there adds on to a reason why I love love love reading your post!
why no one is interested in the first pic? I wana know lol
don’t want to break this up but kenny, your teeth is awful. can you imagine your gf when she does french kiss to you? she’ll be like,.. “gross..” when her tongue wiggles trough the hard, sharpy edges of your teeth.. but, she says nothing to make you happy and you look like an idiot, but deep down inside, she hoped that you’d have a better teeth in the future.
That’s is very nice of you to think that way… But as for me..I need to get to know more women like Diana.
It’s actually us ourselves who decide how our world is like. Men who have needs/men who cheat are LOSERS.
I totally agree with u dude…nowdays ppl live in material world, there are lots of material girls out there
GO KENNY! You’re right! Your wife will be so uber lucky to haf ya
Kenny! You’re so smart witty and sweet! I so totaly salute you =DDD
I think it’s a terrible thing to believe in. Perhaps it is an asian thing like somebody mentioned, women are expected to be “obidient” and aren’t viewed as the husband’s equal. I don’t like to point this out as a fact, just mere observational. I do know people from my parents’ generation who has marriage situation as said, yet i think it really depends on both parties. it is possible to have a monogamous mariage, my parents are living in rather happy monogamous marriage. 🙂
Excellent post, Kenny. God bless u.
Beg to differ, Kenny. I think things are changing (well, can’t comment on Kuching coz I don’t live there).
The women I know and grew up with are smart, uni educated, hot and ‘sex in the city’ savvy. They’re independent and financially stable, and not as forgiving or vulnerable as the women in my mum’s generation.
I think that familiar story of a man turning 50, ditching his wife and dating his secretary will hopefully bypass our generation…As for ‘Diane’ – I’m sure she’ll end up with someone like yourself, so nothing to worry about, eh? 😉
I am sure that’s just one school of thought flying around. I believe in the institution of marriage and plan to keep it when I get to own it.
No to hubby philandering. =)
But first must go find bf that have potential to be hubby first. haha
Those young ladies who claim that they “won’t blame” their husbands if they strayed in the future – will most likely live to regret having said those words.
They’re now young, and are probably going out with several married men, enjoying life having flings with strangers they meet from the bar, pub or club.
I say: You may be having a good life now but really, when you’re married and older, you’ll have an entirely different set of ‘needs’ and they include love, care, and attention.
If you can be contented with your man coming home to you everynight after screwing some younger girls outside, then I feel sorry for you.
Actually, i think a lot of gals seems to think like that nowadays…
My fren even mention it in front of her husband (rich) that she doesn’t really care if he had affair out there as long as he himself & SHe herself is given enough money to fling & he pls dun bring any disease home…
hMm…hard fact to swallow but a fact nonetheless 🙂
nice promo. i learn it in marketing too
Well, to me not all rich man act like that, and I have prove too.
My uncle’s a successful engineer, has his own company, a millionaire and all, but he never cheated on his wife. I know this cause she passed away just recently due to cancer. She’s been having that for the past 7 years. For the pass one year my aunt has been in the hospital almost everyday and everyday you would see him by her side crying, praying, and hiring the best doctors to cure her. He’s so rich he could just dump her and go for other women, but he didn’t. He was always by her side and faithful to her till her last breath. He didnâ€™t even tell her that she had few weeks left to live and promised her that if she gets well, he’ll bring her to china.
So, you see not all rich men are like that, but you donâ€™t find a guy like that everyday.
i’m not married, neither am i seeing anyone. but i dont think that i can tolerate such a horrible thing from my husband/boyfriend… for him to be able to cheat on you means that he doesn’t respect, love you enough for him to be worthy of your respect and love! To hell with him!
how can women stay with their cheating husbands and just be one stuck at home waiting for their husbands to come home after they go around younger women….
Have more pride, ladies…..
p/s: you all should read the book “he’s just not that into you” ,so that you ladies out there will find that guy who is really into you and not just into you because you’re 25…. don’t waste the pretty on some worthless guy
Vidar says: “If the girl knows that she is the one you love the most then she will not get too upset about what you do in your spare time. She want’s a husband that will hang around to support the kids, that is her priority number one.”
You see? THAT’s the reason why it’s so important for women to be financially independent these days – because you have men like Vidar in this world who thinks that because THEY are the sole breadwinner of the family, their wives and children are therefore deathly dependent on them, regardless of “what they do in their spare time”. And we all know that definitely doesn’t refer to golf or tai chi.
So what if “you’re the only one I love”? I can sleep with 5 different men and tell them all that they are the only one that I love as well, but that’s obviously a lie ain’t it? Heck, I’ll say that people who cheat love NOBODY but themselves, because all they care about are their own sexual and emotional needs.
To Hsin: Living in relationships that allow “cheating” (I prefer to use other words) is not for everyone. If you are a very jealous person this will not work for you. Jealousy is the big problem in any such type of arrangement.
If you and your partner overcome such issues it is possible to live in a loving and respectful relationship that include other partners.
This is not really common in Asia and Singapore but much more common in western countries. It’s not about being a bad man or immoral, for such arrangements to work the people involved has to be grown ups, have some sexual and general relationship knowledge. It’s not really for kids, so I don’t understand why the hell I’m posting these views on kennysia.com! LOL
3 uncles of mine cheated on their wifes..i’ve already given up on the possibility of ME ever finding a guy who stays faithful.But thanks kenny X)
At least i know such guy still exist in this world.
Why God made us human, made the ” successful guy ” unloyalty ? Why God made women, old young like the slaves of men ?
i want to live that way too. fool around now. commit later.
i just hope i have the ability to fool around now and the strength to commit later.
i’m 20 and i have the same experience and thinking as ur fren, Diane….somehow, a loyal husband doesnt mean is a good husband…i rather to have a husband who make me happy and comfortable as long as he cheats “nicely and cleanly”
wow… that means we can go f*ck around with girls till before we get marry huh… sounds good… looks like i’m going to delay my 4th marriage this coming friday…
It’s better to stay faithful to someone for the rest of your life, even if it means being able to only have one woman and well…there’s joy in everything ain’t there? The loud hailer is a kid, not just any kid, but my kid. I would love him even though he screams and shouts and such. It’s part and parcel of life.
i saw a woman slapping another younger woman at kch fest once. And she was saying something like “don’t u ever try that in front of me again” (smth along those lines). And her husband was protecting the younger woman from the older woman’s slaps. So, obviously u know what it meant. It’s so sad, really, to think that we cannot trust most men nowadays.
A marriage means commitment so it’s the responsibility of both parties not to get seduced, otherwise don’t commit in the first place.
So guys, you have a responsibility to keep ur ‘little bro’ in ur pants!
To hann-shis: What the fuck are you smoking? How do you justify ‘clean’ cheating? Marriage is about being loyal to the ones you love, and if he can cheat on you, what for do you want to be with him? Might as well be a prostitute and earn big bucks, if you are more concerned about the money and not love and trust, which is the foundation of a marriage. Girls like you are such disappointments.
Please find some self-respect for yourself.
men these days are just TOO OVER the line. =)
maybe i am still too young to understand all these stuff, but still…women are also too money-minded, if they are those who would forgive their husbands who has affairs.
Good analysis. Lazy conclusion.
i am a woman, i aspire to be a scientist, i dont care if my husband is not rich (because i know i will be financially independent enough).
i would rather he stays faithful to me for the rest of my life than to be rich, fool around and be infected with AIDs and bring that disease back to me and our unborn child.
by the way, statistics has shown that most married women are infected by AIDs through their husband. i hope the women give it some thought about the kind of man they wanna spend with for the rest of their lives. this time it doesnt just concern them.
“fooling and flirting around out of my system before I commit”
This will make you a JERK regardless of whether you’re single or married. Guys, respect yourself and the ladies who want to share your time.
Be careful Kenny. Be careful fellas, because you will be creating more disapointed women who don’t believe in any reality but money. You’ll only have your mothers to love you. That’s the truth.
I believe that the wives who closes one eye to their husbands’ affair are in denial. They know it’s wrong and they are hurting really bad. Maybe they just say “It’s only natural that men cheat on their wives” because they want people and themselves to think that they are strong emotionally. I pity these kind of women. When you have a thought like that, it’s really obvious that you have zero self-esteem and no self worth whatsoever.
However, rich men are always being targeted by young hot girls (whether the men want to or not…) just because of the financial security that these girls can get. So, any of you girls out there who’s planning on marrying a rich guy, be aware of your husband’s activities.
It’s just coincidence that kenny you’ve met two girls with the same disappointed thought. I hope that u or ur readers won’t be misled that all girls r like tat. I believe, still, majority of the girls won’t be willing to have the mentioned type of husband. What more nowadays, a lot of females performed better than males. Why do they need unfaithful men’s money then?
i don’t agree with ur female friends. i don’t get married for the sake of getting married. if i don’t meet any good guy, i would rather stay single. what’s wrong with it, right?
Our first lover is not usually the one we can go hand in hand till the end. because still immature minded. real life is harsh and that cannot stand too long. dont give out your love to get sex for those of you. when you are 18-25 approx. you are in libido stage sexually, and you just need plenty of good time (sex) which someone you attracted to. you dont need to hide, everyone the same, unless you have hormonal imbalance. especially like kenny’s age, you are mature enough to explore. kenny you dont sounds like a person who will hurt yourself or someone else. qualify yourself. of course take care of the girls too, emotionally especially. both got to be mature minded and know what you are doing to be qualified. and use condom, dont use pill, not fair for her ok. FIRST trial is CRITICAL!
listen to your heart.. critical because if you get hurt, that is not good.. we are not borned to know everything.. we all need some experiment. if you not sure, dont do it. if one not feel ok, then dont. no forcing.
then when we step into marriage, we have full grasp of what is called human being and that kind of marriage is expected to be more secure and long lasting… we cant afford to use marriage for experiment , you know what i mean..
one thing, i heard if a girl explore themselves more than one, they are likely to feel dirty. guys and gals gene make up just not the same.. so ? another thing to explore .. this time not your sexual desire, but hows others feel…hows your future counterpart feel, make you even more a successful husband one day and hopefully a role model for the future malaysia husband!
= we all want a good happy marriage, that is our real nest. father, mother will leave us one day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . =
This chap says it right
damn those rich old men..just because they have money they can afford to do so….if they are poor…the girls wont even take a second look….the reason y all this young girls are willing to give themselves to those old man cause that old man will pamper her with expensive gifts….this makes me sick…
this is happenin to my mums friend…a once happy family…somemore got 4 kids…
marry me, kenny!
your female friends obviously have self esteem issues…
Good posting, Kenny.
For a start, I would say that women such as *Diane and *Sylvia are still around, but I would think that they make up of a middle-age group who still think that they are living in the century where men are the sole breadwinners in the family and they are financially depended on their husbands in everything.
But not anymore. Not that we are living in the 21st century, especially with the younger generation. Most women are educated, look around you in the local universities, where majority of them are university graduates. Most women are hightly powered with knowledge, thus they know what they want in their life and career. Most women today outperformed their male counterparts in securing well-paid jobs.
Therefore, you will not find “woman’s place is in the kitchen” concept today in our society. Not even after they got married. Well, they don’t have to marry rich men to support them so that they can live a happy and enriching life. No, they don’t. They know their legal rights when they entered into a marriage, any single mistakes made by their husbands(extra marital affair), a slap of half of the property of the husbands(rich husbands) or even more are accounted for, till the very last cent and dollar. In other words, dare to mess around with the women of today? Men, please think twice!!!
However, there are bound to be an exception to the general rule, of course. Some women, whether they are educated or not, or held a well-paid job or not, or whether they are married or not, still have sex with men, other than their spouse(if they are married). Reasons? Well, some women do it for the fun of it, some for money, some are “my husband do it, I also do it-loh, cannot-meh?”. In other words, women still have extra-marital affairs, not only men, right?
My point is, happy and fulfilling marriage lies on the each individual alone, it has got nothing to do with race, colour, sex, rich or poor, young or old. It lies in the power of that individual to say “NO” to sex before marriage and sex outside of marriage.
The choice is yours. FULL STOP.
I sort of scrolled through all the replies and just needed to put in my two cents. If either party is not ready to commit, do not get married. The one’s who get hurt most are the kids through no fault of theirs just because the parents are born with brains in their behinds. Nowadays, it’s not only guys who are well to do who play around but those who are not as well and it’s not only the guys who do it but the women as well. In short, everyone out there please do feel free to screw around like animals if you wish to, just don’t get married and screw up your kids’ life. If you did decide to get married, you have made your choice and if you believe you made the wrong choice, believe that all choices you make after that is all wrong as well….. your choice to go screwing around is WRONG.
I couldn’t sleep being under the weather a little and ur site entertains my nocturnal overtures. Thx.
No matter how rich a man is. He will get old. He will get saggy. He will get wrinkly. When a man becomes old and replusive, you think his rich wife cares if he screws around outside ??
IF MEN CANT TOLERATE THEIR OWN SPOUSE GOING OUT TO LOOK FOR OTHER YOUNGER MEN… THEN WHY SHOULD THEY GO LOOKING FOR YOUNGER WOMEN THEMSELVES?
obviously its gender discrimination… but anyway, like some commentors said… it’s not all the men’s fault… those women who flirts around with married men are total sluts… and they should keep in mind that if that men can fool around with you behind his wife’s back… soon he can fool around with an even younger women behind your back…
these men cannot be trusted…
Good post Kenny.
And judging by some of the comments, this world is quite screwed up these days, isn’t it?
nice post kenny =) one worth commenting on, and to spent my time reading through all the comments (it took me like almost 2 hours mcb!)
iÂ´m only 21 (hmph…actually thatÂ´s quite old for others) hvÂ´t encounter stuffs lik this myself, so i guess my 5-cents mentality can be thrown down the drain but i shall share it anyway…
firstly, i do not condemn women like “diane” and “slyvia”. ThereÂ´s no perfect husband, and hence theyÂ´ve come to terms, to the fact that a good, financially stable husband n a responsible father comes in a whole package, which might be contaminated with “infidelity”. Searching for the right husband (who fulfills both the materialistic and non-materialistic criterias) is not an easy task. Plus, perhaps those women themselves have tasted the forbidden fruit and are aware of how great a temptation it is for their rich perverted husbands.
Not all women are that fortunate to have met men,who are faithful to them. We know not the stories behind “diane” and “slyvia”, their past experiences with men. It could be an exhausting search, which has used up both their time and youth. By the way, cut the crap about being independant, that women donÂ´t need men. As a man myself, i admit, without shame, that i canÂ´t live without a companion too, a lifelong soulmate, a person, who i know will always be there for me, my wife.
Secondly, for those men out there who are, or are already planning to cheat on their wives 20 years from now (during their mid-life crisis :P) , then ask yourself: ” DO I LOVE MY WIFE?”
A) “I DonÂ´t Love nor Care for her”
then sigh…. (chinese saying: CanÂ´t teach people divorce wor… how?) Since you donÂ´t love her nor care, why still need to cheat? More exciting is it?!? (maybe leh) Just handle it properly and be a man.
B) “I DonÂ´t but I Do Care about her”
-then rmbr her as a woman that youÂ´ve loved b4, a person youÂ´ve cared for b4, and the special someone youÂ´ve once vowed to stay with till “death do us part”. Most impotantly, rmbr most probably that she still loves you a lot. Find ways to improve your marital relationship, perhaps even through professional help. I, for now, believe love can curb lust. If nothing helps…sigh… (chinese saying: CanÂ´t teach people to divorce) Be considerate and at least try to lessen her pain. Getting yourself caught red-handed…could prove to be lasting trauma for your wife and children. Worst, you give a bad name to nice guys like Kenny Sia, later sheÂ´ll never believe in men again…
C) “I DonÂ´t but I wanna spend the rest of my life with her”
-Normally, when you marry, the bride should probably fulfill about 90% (hopefully till 99%) of what you ever want out of a woman, who shall tread the journey of life with you hand in hand. The remaining 10%-1% could be found through an extramarital relationship. But ask yourself, is that short burst of joy to satisfy your lust (use your imagination ;P) a risk worth taking? To fulfill that 1%, you might jeopardize the 90% which you already have. Use your “Blain”!!not your “Bladder”!
D) “I Love Her”
-ThereÂ´s no need of any elaboration…
I rest my case, tmr weekend no need to sleep early…blablabla…
oh shit…now only i know i wrote so long…kenny sia tai gor… sorry argh…wrote like this is my blog lik dat, jus delete it le… if you donÂ´t like. i donÂ´t mind.itÂ´s 3am now…must be cuz iÂ´ve nothin to do.
1) nice post kenny
2) dun blame the gals for being like “diane” n “slyvia”
3) Guys just donÂ´t cheat le!
there you go….a summary
I don’t know about those girls but I’d never sink to that. Girls have dignity too. And sharing their husbands isn’t gona do their pride any good. I mean imagine if ur wife did that to u! hahaa i wouldn’t be able to slp thinkin that i’m not good enough!
So u guys out there reading this, don’t think ur gona be lucky and get a girl like Sylvia or Diane. Cause chances are, you won’t! hehee sorry to burst your bubble guys..
I agree with you. One man to one woman.
No cheating, no fooling around.
she confronts, he denies and makes a big fuss.
she closes 1 eye, he continues to fcuk around.
he cheats = he is attractive enuf.
she cheats = she’s a whore.
to the wife/gf: get over it. u dun need these losers to survive. dun give a damn on them. u deserve a better person. it’s not ur fault if they cheat.
to the kiddo victim: let ur dad knows tat he is losing u til he finally return to ur mum n repent. as for the slut, just let her be a fcuking cheap slut. she will get her share one day. if she did it with one guy, her future husband gonna cheat on her 10 times more than that. n she gonna ended with a few uncontrollable kids turning against her, having saggy, fat, full-of-cellulite-stretch-marks-excessive-weight-wrinkled body, and her husband gonna sleep around.
to the slut: go screw urself. but not ppl’s family. if u did that, u r screwed and cursed. u will get it from what u have done.
I agree with you. One man to one woman.
No cheating, no fooling around.
ya..i agree that marriage is about being loyal to the ones you love…but, puh liz!! no idea marriage and no perfect guy in this world….everyone cheats…just that the richer you are, the more seductions come to you….
nobody can 100% our 20yrs-later-husband is still the “same husband” who stepped into the church with us….as time goes by, people change…
love and trust as the foundation of a marriage…love him means giving him freedom?? trust him means i believe that he will still by my side in the end of the day?? perfect marriage consist infinity of tolerantion….
girls like me is such disappointments? guys disappoint girls in the 1st place…when divorcing-rate is inceasing, who to blame?
aw kenny….the ending was soo sweet…as a single gurl…it’s nice to know there are guys like you out there…keep blogging…1 woman per man (sounds like a free give-away…1 gift per customer)!!!
everybody no worry…. absolute no worry, care about today, now, no worry about future, let future handle itself.
pray to heavenly Father to take care of our spirit, soul and body, give us a good husband or wife and save us from soooooo many temptation which beyond our control. the devil will try to destroy marriage and laugh at God saying, heheheh! see how crap your creation is Mr. God! the more chaotic the world is the more happy the devil ! dont blame adam, dont blame eve, dont blame guys or gals, husband or wife, if you wana blame, all goes to that devil!! yes, devil exist.
practise your faith and pray fellow bro and sis thats only way to overcome and preserve in this dark age. now you know why the Bible say this age is evil! why we need salvation!
prayer that match God’s heart will be answered and prayer is the greatest power on earth! you gota believe this. Bless you !
Your girlfriends seem to be coming from a cultural mentality where love is not the most important thing in a marriage. They value the security and material comforts of a marriage as more important then the love and respect of a husband. If that is truly how they feel, and they can deal with a cheating husband (because they probably won’t be “in love” with him as they are marrying him for his money), then it might work for them. It is a marriage of convenience – where the girl gets the security and the guy gets the family. While not romantic in the least, it is a practical form of marriage.
However, if your girlfriends actually fall in love with their husbands, then I feel sorry for them because they will be heartbroken knowing that he has been intimate with other women when he comes home to her. And there is no guarantee the cheating husband will stay with her. He might just decide to get a divorce and marry the young thing.
If you want a love marriage (and not a marriage of convenience) – based on two people committed to each other spiritually and emotionally in a lifelong partnership, then no-one should tolerate a cheater! Girls, if you love your husbands and want your husband to love and respect you, don’t ever tell him he can mistreat you in this way! If he is rich or poor, successful or not, he should still learn to be a civilised, moral and loyal human being, and not allow animal lust to simply takeover. If men are not told what the limits are, they will never learn self control. Old-fashioned Asian men especially need to learn that their wives, and women in general deserve to be treated equally and with respect. To the girls who think it is OK for their husbands to cheat, I hope you learn that you are more valuable than that. You love, support and take care of your husband, give him children and bring up the family, and you stay loyal to him. He can do the same.
When a man and woman marry, they are legally bound to stay faithful. Full stop.
BUT, both married men AND women stray. Men, by and large, separate sex and love. So, a married man can have sex with a stranger and still thinks he has been faithful to his wife, simply because he did NOT love that stranger. Women, again by and large, equate sex WITH love. So, a wife will find it hard to forgive a cheating husband because she assumes that by having sex with other women, the husband had fallen in ‘love’ with them.
Women need men, and men need women, but truth be told, many men and women (not all though) should just fall in love, have sex, have kids, but NOT marry. Sometimes, getting married just complicates something beautiful.
Maybe you are to young /naive to say that u will be faithful in future. Im like you last time till i feel into the trap of unfaithfulness. We will see my fren… cause there are no cats that dun eat fish which given to them.
This kind of situations are very degrading. I suppose men like us have needs but don’t they have control over themselves? They seem very weak to me no matter what the explanation.
ya.. kinda like sugar daddy.. grosses me out and i dunno what the hell those women are thinking.. and the whole cheating game is so.. f***ed up!
I don’t have to explain myself – I know the world is not perfect and blah blah, but you have still not defined what ‘cheating cleanly’ means.
Is it like, “Hey hunny, I am back from work! I just fucked some virgins today!”?
Marriage Couple should be virgin before marry (Boths) will settle this problem
Well, its good that you think this way about marriage and commitment. Actually, its NOT that women are willing to trade a so called perfect marriage for an above average lifestyle. We CANNOT change the fact that most men stray and there is DEFINATELTY NO WAY we can guarantee that he is a good and responsible man before or even after marriage. I guess rich man are more likely to stray SIMPLY because they have the means to do so. Gone are the days where women kill themselves with the kids, cry buckets, create a commotion at the other woman’s house and end up in the police station when they find out about their husband’s infidelity. And since you cannot change the situation or change him, the ONLY reasonable thing to do to stay sane and be happier, is to change the way you think about the whole issue altogether. I guess, it just helps sometimes when you don’t care that much.
Kenny, with your flair for words, your worldly travels, your attentiveness, your testosterone overdriven hairy body, your celebrity status, (and the list goes on) i can safely say, you WILL cheat.
whether you know it or not.
you’re all soft inside boy. Someone turns on her charms on you, you’ll go mush.
that is your first pitfall.
however, i would like to see you stick to your guns and prove me wrong. somebody, anybody.
did you just call me diane?
Again to my point is….if ALL women have this thinking, Marriage then have sex….will men go stray….so i also think should blam the F*up women
oooh. you’re such a sweet man kenny!
now, there’s gonna end up having a list of eligible ladies here waiting to marry you… cos you’re faithful and generates a lucrative blog! haha.
at the end of day it’s about who u really r from the bottom of ur own soul…but sadly ppl r eatin themselves up from within as long as the packaging looks good from the outside..wat tats contained inside is no longer important…its like nvm u buy a pig in a poke as long as its wrapped in an expensive sheet
i believe what the ladies said but not a single word u claimed at the end. u r still too young… boy. i dont think u know the real world yet. 10 maybe 15 yrs from now u will laugh at the bullshit u said today.
we were all young and idealistic once. 🙂
EVERYONE here is realistic. Yes, men reap what they sow. Same goes for women that take into account how wealthy / successful their potential husband is. It works BOTH WAYS. Don’t ever forget that.
I’m a businessman, not married, and i can sincerely tell you, an AVERAGE of 4 out of 5 wealthy / successful businessman cheat on their spouses. *this is based on my observation amongst the successful business communities across Asia*.
My advice to women, find an average Joe if you want to be certain your man isn’t flirting, womanising or sleeping around.
My advice to non married successful wealthy males who can’t keep their dick in their pants, be like me.. don’t marry.. no one gets hurt.
my father is a rich successful businessman but my parents are happily in love. He gives my mum and the kids so much money and buys us whatever we wants. but i know he loves us very much and he doesn’t cheat because he spends almost all the time with us. and everynight he brings my mum out to eat seafood or just to a nice fancy restaurant for them both to have some quality time together. he calls me quite often too since i’m studying overseas just to have a daughter-father chat. he always cheers me up. My dad is such a really wonderful man and I’m so happy that my mum found him. I think my mum is the luckiest woman in the world. Now I just hope that I can find a loyal and loving man like my dad too.
a lot of guys are surprised to find girls saying things like that, but the truth is, more and more girls are thinking that way. especially as the girl grows old enough to know what is actually happening in the society. it is sad, undeniably, that our society has come to a point where the female species have lost faith and hope in their male counterpart, but this is due to how common this practice is in our society now. many girls go into marriage half expecting this to happen – they don’t believe in “true love” and “happily ever after” anymore. heck, you don’t even have to be really successful in your career to be attracting younger girls! you need only be not below average. many young girls now do not see having an affair with a married man unacceptable – “his wife’s wrinkly and a nag; he doesn’t love her anymore. he loves me, and i love him (and his money). what’s wrong with that?” i don’t agree, though, that the men should not be blamed. if you truly love your wife, regardless of how successful you are and how many sexy young ladies want you, you would still be loyal. put yourself in your wife’s shoes, and see how you’d feel. you don’t see most successful career women having affairs with younger men. i understand where these girls are comng from when they say that, but i do not agree that they should close one eye or accept it as it happens. this will only lead to men thinking it’s all right to do so, coz the wife is expecting it anyway.
I’ll keep it short and sweet –
As long as my man doesn’t fall in LOVE with another woman, that’s fine by me. I hope he’ll let me join in the sexual fun too! I like women. Bring on the hot younger women!!!
cut it short – for a relationship to last – 3 conditions;
2) Understanding and
I wish there were more guys like you out there…
too bad kenny is taken, but im still available =)))
LOL.. i couldnt agree more with those who thinks that you will cheat. your words and promises seems too cheap. besides…did u say u r 23 or 25? anyway… u still got a lot to learn.
I too had the same sentiment as you, Kenny.. one-&-only-one upon marriage.. however it seems that nowadays, humans’ thinking are getting more realistic & complicated.. to the point it’s somewhat scary sometimes.. there’s hardly faithfulness anymore (not to say no, but hardly..) :/
cant blame all the guys, girls nowadays = materialistic, their thinking “if their guy cheats, let them be , as long as they provide money for them (branded clothes, luxury cars, big house, jewels n etc etc). most of the girls in kch are slowly bcoming like that already..sad but true.
You people talk about men cheating on women. What about women cheating on men? I can attest to that because a few married / non married women have tried flirting with me in bars, a little petting here and there, etc… and dated a few of them… looking back i feel disgusted, appalled and CHEAP.. CHEAP .. CHEAP.. i feel cheap after finding out eventually that they had partners or married. This happened in a span of 6 years. This is a f**k-all society, especially after reading some comments above. It’s not always the female who’s the victim. Bloody hypocrites! I’ve had 4 gf’s in 6 years… 1st gf dumped me because she said she was on a rebound after a difficult breakup, 2nd gf had a boyfriend in actual fact, and had been flirting with me.. i was so serious that eventually she told me the truth that all she wanted was a little fun which she missed so much in her relationship… 3rd was a young 25 year old divorcee whom i met on a plane flying Buiness Class.. we were together for 1 year and mid 2nd year, she said she wanted to get back with her husband, for the kids… 4th relationship was a toughie, this girl never told me she was engaged and she just wanted a few weeks fling with me before she married… bloody whores.. hypocrites all of you…! Like i said, a f**k-all society.
The moral of the story is, “YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW”. My foresight perhaps wasn’t good enough and i don’t blame my 4 ex’s for the amount of pain and hurt they caused me. Instead i blame myself for not being sharp enough, smart and having a better foresight in my part on relationship matters.
That’s just my 0.02 cents worth people.
Well I agree with you Kenny. When you marry, til death do the 2 of you part.
Bravo on this thought provoking entry
cheat “cleanly and nicely” means tells a high quality lie which doesnt make me suspect…as long as he makes me feel like i’m one of the luckiest wife in the world…i think i’m fine with it…and i won’t keep digging out or try hardly to debunk his hanky-panky…..
“Hey hunny, I am back from work! I just fucked some virgins today!”? ——-if the guy still care for you,he wont say to you like that…..by the way, he care doesnt mean he never fuck other girls!!
the more person you mix round with, the uglier you find the world is….
it’s kinda cool recieving so many comments eh kenny?
=) am glad you write such thought-provoking posts-this way it makes people think ‘cuz you really influence people with your pennings.
You said, “-if the guy still care for you,he wont say to you like that”
If the guy still cares for you, he wouldn’t be cheating on you. This is marriage you’re talking about. Not a play thing. When he decided to make you his wife, he already pleadged his heart and soul for you and ONLY you. He’s supposed to be devoted to you and love you with all his heart.
And I know a lot of people, alright. The world is not beautiful and pure. But some girls like to be with the ‘bad boys’ and that’s how they get into this kind of shit. There’s still good men around, and I know, because you can see some marriages can withstand the test of time, obstacles and financial difficulties, and they stick with each other.
Even my best friend, who’s gonna get married in December, cheats on her fiance with a man, for MONTHS. It’s a bad thing. She knows it’s bad, but she still does it. I don’t agree with that, but it is her life.
If I were his fiance, and I know the truth – will I still want her as my wife? HECK NO. It’s infidelity, that’s it. If your hubby cheats on you, and you stick to him, for financial stability, what does it say about you? You’re like a 120 pounds parasite. You have the brains and energy – go work and make your own money.
Depending on your husband for stability like that, is so 20 years ago, but that is my opinion. Even though it is an opinion, it’s something I strongly believe in, and I will never tolerate infidelity in a relationship, let alone marriage.
Gah. Long comment. 🙁
*if i were HER fiance
what about a guy who cheat girls’ feelings? what about a guy who sleeps with all the girl he can get and say all the same sweet words to different girls at the same time? what about those men who said he loves you but after sometime is asking money from you? what about the guy who sleeps with his own sisters and sisters-in-law and whoever with a vagina? typical, i know a guy like that 🙁
still stick with the husband doesnt mean is just for financial stability….there are many other reasons…..maybe is just because you just dont want to lose him…..i believe, not every wife who close one eye are wimpy housewife..there are financialy stabile, successful wife who tolerant with this stuff….
this is a great post…and it is a problem with female mentality. how long can they keep turning a blind eye?
i will not allow my husband to do that also!!
right on, kenny!!
There is Yin and Yang
hey kenny.. really got me thinking, why do girls condone such acts. Could it possibly be due to influence of tv dramas or because it is the norm these days. It’s really frustrating knowing that such infidelity is so common that well u’ll be next in line ,a victim of such acts or a prey whose inmoral acts just reflects how shallow they really are.The thing is , we’ll just never know. You may know the guy from college or uni , marry him and start a new family. Life may be good intially , but hell knows what will happen in the years to come,???!!! As ladies, i think it is really important for u to open ur eyes big big.. hehe.. choose wisely , set ur priorities straigth,do not go for one that treats u nice becoz ur smart , pretty .. bla bla bla.. but choose one that treat u nice beacause of who u are, ur personality ur character. These are things in u that will not change.. looks changes. ladies u cannot change a guys, if he likes to flirt most likely he will in the future. but ladies , u can choose those who are really loyal and faithful. Dun rush into relationships just becase ur lonely, ur frens have bf or are married but ur not, biological clock is ticking..all sort of reasons. The mr right will be there , somewhere sometime. U’ll just need to wait, be patient and keep ur eyes wide open. U’ll not regret the little wait rather then the life long of misery that lies ahead when u made the wrong choices in life. Life is all bout choices , u have the power to made the change. Remember that. Btw , i am still waiting for the mr. right to arrive, but till then, i will be patient and i’ll let things fall into place itself, no rush no hurry, just a step at a time. Destiny awaits those who are patient enough to thrust in god that they are in good hands.
DO NOT DO ONTO OTHERS THAT WHICH YOU WOULD NOT HAVE THEM DO ONTO YOU!
to all men: if u like it tt ur wife cheats ard n havin fun with other men..then i haf nothin 2 say
jmay, i like your last sentence!
(next time use capital G for the Almighty ok cheers)
i want to blame the BIAS education system world wide that uplift too much IQ value and neglect EQ, or else we all will be ‘qing shen’ – king and queen of love.. got too much ‘rubbish’ in head!
im single too, some of my friend already have kids, what can i do is to stay cool and calm while waiting, do normal routine job and most important, make myself available and have to be in the right pond! i was in wrong circle for long long time… cant afford to be wrong this time. Sorry im out of topic but this is what i want to say.
… “It’s all right. Really, I’ll manage. It’s not the first time and probably won’t be the last” …
Why women keep accepting men who stray? Why do they close one eye?
Here is a woman’s perception on the whole topic.
Okay, being a 50% ABC, I sometimes feel that Asian girls and say, Aussie girls hold such different views.
Since when did Asian girls become so submissive (okay lah, rhetorical question) as well as being so mercernary? You want a rich and successful husband? And then you think you’re not good enough for him and that you don’t deserve his love and etc? So you’re content to sit there like wife number 1, who stays there and collects all the money and finacial security?
What happened to true ambitions? What is so wrong with being a scientist, or doctor or teacher? What happened to this idea of meeting this kinda quirky guy, who had this great personality and you thought was kinda cute? What happened to falling in love with this guy and just living as middle-class parents? (Oppps… meep… maybe I do sound naive, but I believe guys like that are out there)
Okay, I am not saying that this “accepting the pigginess of the rich successful husband” behaviour is typically Asian. But I think it does show in some Asian girls, who deserve so much more than just sit there and con some unfaithful and shallow guy.
Come on girls, you deserve better okay. I mean look at Aussie girls. Boyfriend cheating? Forget it, dump him. He’s history. He just wasn’t that into you.
I have so many Asian friends in really happy and cute relationships and it’s just so sweet teasing them and seeing them together. Looking at couples like that, I just can’t get what is so good about accepting some cheating husband who goes around hitting on young girls. Before you feel pity for those accepting young girls, shouldn’t you feel disgust at yourself for being so well… I don’t know, gutless and feeling that you don’t deserve any better?
Okay lah, maybe you get all the LV bags and drive past me in you BMW and Mercs and your car will spew mud on my non-branded clothes and both of us with be happy with our own worlds.
But I will be with someone who treasures me.
dude…..take a look at today’s Tell It To Thelma section on The Star papers and you’ll get….ALL of the posts having WOMEN cheating on men.
what has life become?
hey kenny.. this is so random. but anyway. i just left a country near u for studies overseas very recently.. and it’s not been that easy adjusting to things.. for certain reasons.. and i haven been having an easy night.. and just came to ur blog for some entertainment.. which i havent really before.. and thanks man.. for providing that.. and more.
and no. definitely not all women are like that. in fact i find it extremely hard to imagine anyone like that.. trust me.. there are still many great.. normal.. females.. of great marriageable character left in this world.. i know many of them.
so. thanks for bringing a bit of home to me 🙂
I belive in true love, and ONE love. Infidelity is a NO, before or after marriage. If one can’t be loyal before marriage, I doubt if he/she can stay loyal after 10 years.
I don’t quite agree on your conclusion but man, it’s your life and you can choose the way you want it to be.
I agree 100% with Jay (7th comment down). Very well said.
I think the sort of attitude shown by the girls is also very telling. How are they any ‘better’ than the men they have married? If they’re willing to put up with it, they condone it. If they expect it… even worse. Probably deserve each other.
Girls, find a guy who loves you more than you love him and would die for you. Guys, find a girl who loves you more than you love her and would take a bullet for you. There’s no perfect or near perfect snow white or cinderella love story in real life. Maybe 1 in 30 relationships and that’s about it. Stop dreaming already.
The only thing constant in this world is change. He who would bite a bullet for you today, may push you right in front of an on-coming truck tomorrow.
Some of these women close an eye not for the material comfort, but for their kids. I suppose end of the day, to them, providing their kids with a complete home is more important than their dignity. Of course, given a choice, everyone wants a perfect hubby/wife, but in this imperfect world, sometimes not everyone gets this chance aye? So I would think twice before I call names.
And please la, why does everyone think that only the rich cheats? Even if you marry a damn poor guy, he can still cheat on you lor.
Really respect for your views. Not many guys like that.
if everyone make love tonite on this planet, tomorrow will be heaven! ~
unfortunately, that is very true… but then again, these wives choose not to care because they care about their children.. choosing to confront the affair may hurt their children..
It’s not about sowing all your wild oats before settling down, so that u don’t stray. It’s really all about meeting and marrying the right woman – someone who is your equal, someone whose opinion matters to you, someone you share a lifelong emotional and almost spiritual connection with…
Once that connection is gone, there is nothing to hold the both of you together and you will start to seek fulfilment (emotional, physical, etc) outside your relationship.
The girls you spoke to are one-dimensional (sorry). To them, marriage = material needs met. So sad.
lol, kenny you just made yourself a more desirable bachelor.
the saying is birds of a feather flock together, i think all your female friends must be of the same stereoype for you to generalise like that because i would definitely not tolerate such things as cheating, and i believe other girls in my class (my age) would not as well.
Maybe you’re *ahem, a bit old liao, so your female friends who are your age also old liao, that’s why their thinking is more in line with old, traditional, rich man can have main wife then 2nd wife, 3rd wife etcetc. now not like that liao la, maybe you should ask younger college girls, i’m sure they will give you a different opinion.
Nice one kenny. I too am a believer that a guy should stick to one woman after marriage. Thats why its such a big decision.
I think Russel Peters sums our situation. We’ve caught “one-gina.” 😛
Firstly, for those who loves to stereotype certain races for their relationship “tendencies”… you need to WAKE UP to reality. There’s no fixed rule that so-and-so race are prone to cheating. I think “cheating” can happen across all relationships (marriage, girlfriend, boyfriend, friends even) and happen to both genders, no matter what color is your skin.
It all boils down to a person’s own willpower and level of maturity. Marriage is about lifelong commitment. Even though there’s such thing as “divorce”, it should NOT be an option for two persons who had pledged eternal love to each other.
Love or similar feelings don’t change. It’s the people who change. If you can’t decide who to love or you have a change of heart after 10 years together, then obviously you have no willpower and has not yet matured enough to bear the responsibility of your “vow”.
BTW. Good post, Kenny.
i salute you!!!
yes its not easy to stay faithful as temptations could get strong. but its ok to get tempted, its how you respond to it that ultimately matters.
its POSSIBLE to stay true to just one person for the rest of our lives.. we just need to make it a principle & commitment and believe in the covenant of Marriage.
Its more fulfilling to have a successful family than a successful career… any successful person can tell you that (esp those at old age!)
so ppl… dun mess up your lives (marriages!)!
I love the whole repressed idea that men need sex more than women.
1. sex feels great for girls too (if you guys know what you are doing)
2. women love sex too
3. women need sex too
4. women cheat as well but we hide it better than men.
Lines like “he wants a firm young body” make me laugh. Like men are the only one that wan a sexy lover. Dont you think girls would also rather have sex with a hot 25 year old athlete than a saggy, bald, beer belly 50 year old.
great entry kenny.
really got me thinking into this topic…
very interesting indeed
Of course, I do not agree that a man should be allowed to cheat on his wife, as long as he still loves his wife and is only sleeping with the other woman to satisfy lust.
As a matter of fact I wholly agree with your point of view but Kenny, I disagree with the idea of marrying late just for the sake to remain faithful to ur wife. I do understand that is ur personal PoV but I feel that marrying late will also cause other domestic problems.
Imagine that when ur 50, ur son is only 8 years old. By the time he is ready to pursue higher educaton, ud most likely be incapable to work to support his education. And that is only one child we’re tlaking about. What if u had 2 more younger ones?
I have seen scenarios like this back in university and I must say, its not a very pretty situation, unless ur father is a sawmill tauke and can blow off 100K without feeling much of a pinch.
This is just my 5 cents worth though :). Cheers!
I certainly don’t share your opinion on relationships but if you and your harem are ok with a lifestyle like that, then thats not a problem to me.
What I have a problem with(and I’m not saying that you do this) is when people with “liberal” concepts of relationships try to mess up happy relationships/marraiges.
So can I please ask that the cheating/sexually casual community keep their affairs amongst themselves? Seriously. Leave the rest of us one-partner happy people alone.
My goodness! These young girls are selling themselves short! Don’t they think they deserve more than a cheating husband?
There is some irony when you make that statement about marrying late. When you marry late, who are you likely to end up marrying? The younger women of course. Even if you marry late and do end up marrying women from your own age group, therein brings another issue (one that most guys I know do not realize). The doctors are right when they say that it’s better for women & their children if the women have their kids when they’re younger.
Well said, Kenny… well said.
Well Kenny, good for you. We did a take in the MMR on Online Infidelity as well. We shouldn’t close one eye!
good kenny… very good thought of your.. i totally agreed with you.. as nowadays a lot of city gals look at material rather than good character and good husband to be wed to. sad but true… they want better life than looking at the happy future. they are more short sighted. anyway, i once talk to an aunt of mine, they mentioned that nowadays the gal want to marry to money and sleep w it rather than a person that they really love them. here is the story.. hilarious at one time… to think of it… it is quite true…
you are so right….the role models we have these days typify our choices for eg if our heroes are gonna be paris hilton then I suppose we are giving the message that everything she does is right? Is it?
and if this carries on how are we gonna have the ‘right’lifestyles? what ‘right’ these days mean different to each person.
Are we gonna start a new generation where families come together again and as you said one woman man. Its a choice so make it right the first time around…
personally, i’d rather have a moderate life than to accept my husband fooling around with a younger girl. If i love someone it ain’t for the money it’s for the love. How can you accept sleeping next to a guy u love so dearly sharing it with a younger woman? I would rather prefer divorce if that ever happens to me.
The biggest problem with Asian women is that they have a huge huge problem up their asses! They mostly not all mind you ate so damn darn superficial.
Always following the Tv trends always COMPEATING with others donâ€™t matter how good a person you are inside or how the struggle is but what matters most is MATERIAL ! shame on you for following mags and TV ! no back bone ! Notice talk amongst girls nowadays , new bag, sale, boys boys boys , new perfume is being released.. what happened to good solid discussions ! EMPTY yes you and those posers who try and talk engrrrrrish with an accent ! hmhhhhh
and a white guy even tho he is not as caring or loving or feeds you soul is ALWAYS better then an asian guy who looks rather average but loves u to bits WHY ! POSERS TROPHY ! You are more proud to shout out to the world of this existence rather then if u dated the latter….
There is this trend going on in Spore where the big high flying spore women are becoming sugar mummies to these whites who live off them so they can have a trophy ! On the other hand whites know that asian women will be there to cook , clean , its ok if its no equal shit which no white women would stand for !
But where is this brining us to…. right so if all you shallow girls want is a trophy and your husband/bf/partner can make use of your maid services just so that u can enjoy his cash and status, white ness and be missarable inside then i have nothing much to say to your type of women except i dont even have the time to pity you empty brains….. but strangely the women like the above is on the rise.
And these whites are really aware of how in demand they are and how asian women are good and obedient all they want is white ness and money â€¦. And statusâ€¦ so there u go ! you girls created a huge ass problem for your selvesâ€¦ How sad..
So in this caseâ€¦. When the statement above has been made â€¦.â€™â€™if a woman wants to marry a successful husband, live a good life and be happy, then she should learn how to close one eye to her husband’s extra-marital affairsâ€™â€™ this obviously means that the women knows whatâ€™s she getting her self into obviously not for love its just to SHOW OFF !!! look at me my husband is CEO, DATUK etc rather then the PERSON . So is she also allowed an affair ??? Since its for convenience â€¦..
Pls tell your friend to do the above we will see after a few yrs if she can live with her selfâ€¦ abt the Japs I am aware on how the women are treated just glad am not born a Jap women . Asian women having degreeâ€™s masters n stuff doesnâ€™t compensate for the intellectualism u have which is basically empty if call you want in life is to marry successful man SHAME on you for not wanting to be SUCCESSFUL YOUR SELF !
Unfortunately, many girls are jaded enough to not believe in love. I guess they’ll think, as long he comes home to sleep at night and bring back the dough, I don’t really care if his mind is on me or not… We’ve papers to bind us together anyway, he won’t be as stupid to part with his hard-earned money just like that.
I think I have to agree with Kenny’s view. Married men shouldn’t be looking for any sort of affair with younger girls. It’s just not right for me…. but I don’t really mind pre marital sex though… at least it’s not a betrayal or a disloyal act (I don’t mean you can screw one girl and another the following day when you are not married)
Datuk K & Siti Nurhaliza should be named the wedding of the year? Yeah, wedding for the year in 2006, divource of the year 2007.
Those are some sexy legs..
You girls are stupid for believing the pretentious Kenny Sia who claims he’s a one man one wife guy and you girls directly jumped into conclusion to say he’s one of the only good guys left in this planet earth. Wake up bitches, these words are designed to con every stupid women species out there who are only interested in listening to lies. Stupid women falling for Kenny’s cheap lies and he knows exactly what to say to melt women’s heart and they will start spreading their pussies to him before you even know it.
Ever heard of married women having extra-marital affairs? It is very common nowadays. Sad.
WAt U are writting here is truelly right…And it is commonly happend in our society now…
I have a friend..He told me that all his friends around him(all of them are rich guys) are like that…
They always play play at outside but they dun love them…After play they still go back their home..And their wife are accepted their atitude..As long as their husband still coming back to their side..
I am so pity on these women…they hav no choise becoz they are not well educated, not working, and they want to protect their own family…
Juz becoz of them (all the women which accecpt their partner not royal), all the men think that all the women are the same…And please…gals..dun try to broken other people family…There are still many sigle guys out there…Dun mensahsuehkan our women, Ok?
I wonder if the husband can close one eye when the wife sleeps around with younger meat like he does?
men follow their dicks. wherever it points to, there he’ll go.
i believe that some men practice more self-control than others.
but ultimately, its the nurture of men that causes them to do things they may never have intended to.
aww sweet! yes stay faithful to a girl and not break her heart. =)
Men hide behind the fact that they are men it is their way but to me it shows lack of self dicipline how can you say you couldnt help it or it just happend come on get some self control and respect your women cos the respect for men these days is low to say the least!
Women cheat too; a lot of nerd guys these days attract girlfriends because they are rich and more loyal, but the nerd guys can’t keep the women because the women are always looking for some other guy, who they feel is more “passionate” or more rich/powerful.
It’s quite pathetic; the men have no self respect to dump someone who cheated on them multiple times and continues to make them buy diamond rings and expensive trips, and the women are just using the men. In the end, you just don’t ask, don’t tell about these people…
Oooooo!!!! Kenny, marry me!!! 😛
Yes gers settle for the best guy, no one wants a less successful man but hey….Im a girl…and no way I will allow my hubby to betray me!!! I have to be realistic yes but I will not be a fool to close one eye. Quite shocking for your 2 gals friends to think this way but they definitely dont represent the rest of the girls. They disgrace us.
and if you ever have kids whilst ure still married, it renders a severe psychological effect towards them
And because of such sellfish/irresponsible actions, your child who carries part of your DNA suffers.
Your child is part of you(flesh and blood)
That must be dead cruel. Don’t u think?
Marrying a good guy is a must.. but having a good rich guy is a BONUS.. hehehehe… not all rich guys have mistress.. but the problem with world nowadays… all the good guys are taken..
Err, i know this post is long overdued, but I had to say..Losers do cheat as well. So instead of getting a ugly, fat and poor guy who cheats, why not marry one, rich and successful one.
To my opinion, it has nothing to do with race, nor gender….it’s about a person’s moral value, principles, beliefs, mind control and what they want in life. Regardless of their financial status.. if a person is having the wrong thinking, they will do wrong. Of course, with most women’s “close one eye” theory, it gives the men more “freedom” to cheat. It’s about the mindset. How easily influenced by the society/situation are you?? How committed are you?
The meaning of faithfulness…..love….happiness… how many people on earth actually understand these? What is our priority living in these world now? Live life to the fullness. Live as if no tomorrow. Living a life with what kind of beliefs??
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Kenny, and then one day after you are done with all the partying and fooling around, you settled down with a younger wife and family… happily ever after…
Because your body gets old. Your tool aren’t as solid.. And your wife is hot…
That’s why not only uncle goes for young girls. Aunty too.
Kenny, and then one day after you are done with all the partying and fooling around, you settled down with a younger wife and family… happily ever after…
Because your body gets old. Your tool aren’t as solid.. And your wife is hot…
That’s why not only uncle goes for young girls. Aunty too.
Hey Kenny, late comment on this, but I just have to:
There aren’t many men who thinks like you do now. And that’s a true tragedy.
I would love to marry a man who truly believes that with marriage, he will forsake others and love only his wife, even when her nipples become neighbours with her navel.
“fooling and flirting around out of my system before I commit”
This will make you a JERK regardless of whether you’re single or married. Guys, respect yourself and the ladies who want to share your time.
Be careful Kenny. Be careful fellas, because you will be creating more disapointed women who don’t believe in any reality but money. You’ll only have your mothers to love you. That’s the truth. ”
oh my, its a vicious cycle.
hmm in singapore, i think that only a minority of such women exist(women who think its okay to commit adultery).
i once read from a female magazine about how girls from different countries dealt with the issue.
-married lady writes a note to her husband posing as someone anoynomous.note saying “hey.i once had a one night stand with you.and i might have infected you.i checked with the doctor.i’m being infected.the results have yet to come out.i think you should go for a check too.”
-when a girl found out that her boyfriend cheated on her.she had alot of children newsletters and baby product promotions sent to his letterbox.
-woman cuts off husband’s manhood.and attaches it to a helium balloon.
-woman cuts off man’s willy and flushes it down the toilet bowl.
Itâ€™s not worth having a successful/rich guy who unfaith to women. why women must find a ‘successful guy’ to lead them a good life? Why dont women find lead good life for their own effort? Anyway. i understand why a man will feel bored if face a women for many years. Actually, nowaday, no only man will bored but also women will feel bored to face the same guy for many years. Man and women are the same. The most important is -the love partner we find is bacause of ‘LOVE’ not because the ‘money’.It doesnt matter whether is rich or not.
I really don’t believe some people and specially woman and how sick they are when they accept to be cheated on.What are we, animals? No feelings and no dignity!As for me i would rather starve than marry a rich cheater.
I’ve been cheated on by my husband, in what they call platonic cheater,no sex,and i found out about a year ago, till now i can’t accept it, because i loved him so much and we had a “Romeo & Juliette” love, but some marital problems and four beautiful children, which is why i’m still with him now, not because he hated himself and swore to never have a chummy relationship with anyone else, not even spending time talking over coffee, which is what he did.He tells me that he loves me so much, well guess what! i don’t believe a word he says anymore, because to me love is LOYALTY, love is accepting someone for what they are, whether they’re fat or old or anything you can think of,isn’t this what we’re expected to do, and we do it willingly because we love our husbad’s or boyfriends, and they are no different, and the say that men can’t help it because this is how they were born is a myth, and to me we are putting men down if we think of them as animals with no self control or self respect or dignity, we’ve done it so much that they came to believe it.
For all of you women out there if a man is not faithful, he’s not worthy of your love, and forget about money, money comes and goes but you’ll always have your self respect, do not sell yourself short.
How about a virgin girl in today’s immoral society? What do they get out of this? They are the ultimate losers.
The non-virgin girls already had their fun.
The non-virgin boys still having it.
The good virgin girls get the used goods.
It’s an unfair world.
Better not to marry, dedicate your life to God, and adopt children.
wah… this is so true… your blogs are so meaningful la.. i always thought blogs were lame… lol… i really believe that men tend to get horny because they were shielded from 18-sx material. once they are exposed to it… u will get rape cases… lol
your female friends obviously have self esteem issues…
Well said about this chaotic world Sia.
This world had changed far too much.
One could only hope for nothing to come from this.
during d early stage of relationship, gals will die 4 love…
after couple of years, loving gal turns into materialistic.
exp: “every gal wans their guy 2 be succesful”
or elso hw to rely on?
issues…. problems….breakdowns…. accummulate
so… guy gets pissed!!! subconsciously…
they strive to be successful!
please their partner!
then marry their beloved partner…
after yrs of success… + subconscious pain they faced b4… they turn into maniacs…
find hot chicks lar…
-“i got $$$, so what?” OR
-“u wan $$$, i already given u… but wad have u given me???”
thats hw most of these cases appear…
it all comes from emotional pain…
well… theres no right, no wrong…
depend hw u see it…
there’s a happy, joyful healthy life
n also a hateful, angry, sad life…..
which 1 do u choose?
oh gawd,ur so freakin wise i could kiss you man lol!
gawd,best piece ever!
Kenny boy, our ideals do not play out well (enough) in real life – even if you want to build that beautiful relationship and make it lasts, she (or you) will mess it up – inevitably. It is rare that we can find the one girl that we want to grow old with, as later you can/will meet someone whom you want to be with – no matter how.
We develop ideals when the desired object is in view or even as little as a whiff passed by momentarrily, and it started early enough to make a permanent dent inside us. That part of our mind cannot let go and we set off in pursuit at every junctures since then. Even if we attempt (and succeeded) to let go, the part that drives us in life will be dead too – so don’t even think!
A further journey ahead, your perspective change, as our ideals don’t play out as well as we imagined. Time takes on a twisty role and you will come out all mangled, wrinkled with the same searching heart and when the dust has finally settled…you looked back and realized you have lived life. A little sad to let go perhaps.
But love, love is ever so beautiful and that is all to live for in life. If you have found her even if she is not yours to possess, the feeling of elation is all the same although that calls for living with pain of yearning.
Is love to die for? I would think so. Keep that ideal burning and let it shine and shine.
Actually I had experience this kind of situation before when I was 19. I was very young that time and didn’t know that sometimes when a 50-year-old man that bought you food and presents or went makan angin was actually want to “EAT” you. I was studied alone in Kuching and knew this man through my roommates. He was very nice to me and he told me that his son is same age with me so he treated me like his own kid. Well, after something happen I finally realize that he actually only got one mind in his head—SEX.
It happened again when his friend(ya, another uncle) tried to use the same old trick on me. They are really rich, you know. If you want to be their gf, they will give you car, money, and even a house!(of course is rented) I used to ask this uncle why you do something like this to your wife(same age as him), and wouldn’t scare she find out? He said she never ask where he go. He married too early and he regretted for only having one woman in his life. Now he has money, and he still quite good-looking, and the important point is, almost all his friends are having gf outside! So, they compete among themselves and even chase young girl that is same age as their daughters!
And when I studies that time, my college got so many young girls willing to be gf of these men. They got extra pocket money and can bought the branded stuffs that their parents would not affort. Besides, they were not from Kuching, so their parents would know what they had done here.
Now I am getting older and saw more. I was quite disappointed with the men I knew. Example 1: One friend’s wife just gave birth to him and he went outstation with a model!(he is very very very rich) Example 2: This man’s gf in sibu and he is in kuching. With a extremely gorgeous high-class car, he had chase so many girls in only one year! And his gf is so pretty. Example 3: This one is worse. He got mix with his wife’s sister, which is younger, and prettier. When his wife found out, she cried the whole day, but they didn’t divorce.
Hope girls, really need to open your eyes when you decided to accept a man to your bf or future husband. Sometimes heart-broken really hurt.
“If you ask me, if I can’t have both then I’d much rather have a less successful career and more of a happy family. Part of the reason why rich and successful men are having affairs with younger women is because when they were young, they worked so hard to build their career that they missed out the joys of being young.”
Now i know..why some born rich guy can be super faithful husband..and some work his ass shit out not..maybe thats why..too bad..only few lucky girl marry this type of guys.. i saw some of them..super handsome, super faithful and different class.. I only met 1 uncle when i was young, who is born rich and still rich and faithful to his wife. And i met unfaithful and “humsup” middle age man every single day. So i assume is 0.015% is rich, faithful husband, which mean 0.015% of girls who lucky enough to marry them. Will i be one of them?
Ask the person who married the guy at the first place.
Why didn’t she check it out first and etc factors.
Did she married him due the fact, that she know him well emough or something.
Sometimes the world is what it is, then again…
If people look for a proper thing…
surely there is!
Chinese women are just too materialistic/status conscious, especially in Kuching and KL. Ask yourself, do the Bumis have as much of a problem w/ this. I doubt it.
“Itâ€™s not worth having a successful/rich guy who unfaith to women. why women must find a ‘successful guy’ to lead them a good life? Why dont women find lead good life for their own effort? Anyway. i understand why a man will feel bored if face a women for many years. Actually, nowaday, no only man will bored but also women will feel bored to face the same guy for many years. Man and women are the same. The most important is -the love partner we find is bacause of ‘LOVE’ not because the ‘money’.It doesnt matter whether is rich or not.”
In regard to the terms of the guys and girls becoming BORED with each other. As time goes by the options OUTSIDE get worse and worse because after 30 you start to notice people ageing more than you did when you were in your 20’s and aside from that a lot of people are already “taken”, or very much off limits due to being married, thus making it difficult to find a new partner for renewed excitement.
A lot of Chinese girls in Kuching are shitfaced anyway so not a whole lot I’m missing out on whenever I visit from the States. 😛 KL girls are much better.
malaysian girls r off
An interesting posting!
From North America, here in the wintery and cold U.S.A. I read this with fascination. Does your friend Diane’s statement about men reflect most ML and KL womens opinion?
I find it hard to believe so many men have that little integrity. Face it every one get old, and with time saggy. Aside from having more money, what can a man 20, 30, or 40 years older than a 20 something girl offer to that girl? Money, shopping and maybe travel, perhaps. But aside from paying for sex directly or indirectly are 20ish year old females attracted to older men?
Peki hi? bir halti yemeyen kiz alinip ne yapilacaktir? basi Ürtölecek, evde oturacak, kulucka makinesi gibi Cocuk doguracak ve Cocuk bakacaktir. yok arkadas ben almayayim
It’s always easier said than done…