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Wednesday, 05 August 2009

Short Talk:

This is so cool.

Google Maps decided to honour one of my favourite places in KL - by placing a statue of a my very own life-sized Google Maps pin right in front of Bangsar Village!

Please don't vandalise my Google Pin hor.

Frontera’s Chilli Wings Challenge

Which of the following men do you think has the biggest pair of testicles?

Is it A) Deepak Gill, from KL, alcohol blogger at thirstyblogger.my

B) KY Teoh, from Penang, food blogger at kyspeaks.com

Or C) Kenny Gonzales, from El Kuching, Mexico.

We heard Frontera Bar & Grill at Jaya One in PJ has the hottest chilli buffalo wings in the whole of Malaysia. So one Sunday evening, with nothing else better to do, the three of us decided to hop over to taste for ourselves just how hot these babies are.

Frontera prides itself in serving authentic Tex-Mex food. It's as authentic as you can get since the owner Larry is a Texan himself and he imports all the crucial ingredients for his menu directly from the States.

 

Our original intention is to jump straight into the Chilli Buffalo Wings challenge as soon as we arrived at the restaurant. And the challenge is this:

Three men. One plate of the hottest spiciest buffalo wings in Malaysia. NO WATER.

Whoever reaches for the water is out. Last man standing wins.

Thankfully, sensibility prevails and we decided to taste some of the good food here first before sending our tastebuds to Hell (and possibly never getting them back.)

Based on the owner's recommendation, we got a few of the must-try items at Frontera on our table.

To start with: some lubricant.

A bottle of the finest pure tequila, direct from Mexico.

I'm not a big tequila drinker, so I cannot tell the difference between good tequila, bad tequila and Tila Tequila.

But according to the almighty ThirstyBlogger, this is good stuff, because it is made from 100% native Mexican plant of agave. Cheap tequilas sold elsewhere are mostly mixed with other crap, like the bartender's piss, which is why they normally serve it with lime and salt to mask the taste.

Indeed, we don't need lime or salt when we drink pure agave tequila. It is extremely smooth and easy to drink. And with our throats well-lubricated, it's time to eat.

For appetizers, it's Frontera's Nachos - baked tortilla chips, melted cheese and a slice of jalapeno on top. Dip it with the sour cream in the middle, and I'm in heaven.

No doubt this is my favourite dish. So well-presented and tastes so good. Definitely worth coming back for more.

Next up, Chilli Cheese Burger.

Now I know it may not look like much from the photo, but this ain't your roadside Ramlee burgers. This burger comes with one large beef patty with so much cheese and chilli con carne that as soon as you puts in your mouth, it ejaculates juices of satisfaction.

We tried other items on the menu like the burritos, the taquitos, the enchiladas and the chimichagas, Maybe because I was already too damn full eating all the nachos earlier, but I was unable to appreciate any more Mexican in me. Must return to try next time with an empty stomach.

Now, onto the Chilli Buffalo Wings challenge between myself, Deepak and KY.

Normally when you order spicy chicken from say, Nando's, they give you the option of Mild, Hot or Super Hot. Over at Frontera, there is one more option: KILLER.

So I took a bite. KY took a bite. Deepak took a bite.

30 seconds passed. Nothing happened. I was laughing.

I thought to myself, this is too ea... hang-on-a-minute.

FUUCCKKKKK!!!

IT. WAS. FREAKIN. HOTTTTTT!!!!!!!

I got tears flowing out of my eyes, snot coming out of my nose, water out of my mouth and every other body orifices. It was intense. For the next few minutes, it was like someone napalm bombed my entire face. It was like Hiroshima and Nagasaki all over again inside my mouth.

As I conceded defeat by extinguishing my throat with a glass of ice cold water, I looked up to see how my other two competitors were doing.

Surprisingly, Deep and KY were holding on fine. Determined to prove their testicular fortitude, neither of them conceded defeat. I don't know how they did it because I was already half dead. Maybe their tongues had already been burnt to oblivion. Props to them both for surviving the hottest chilli wings in Malaysia without drinking a drip of water.

We decided it was no fun if we leave Frontera without determining a clear winner after that round, so we asked the waiter if there's anything hotter than what we just had.

There is.

Behold, the Mexican habanero chilli.

It's one of the hottest chilli species in the world. So hot, it makes the Malaysian chilli padi tastes like Mentos candy in comparison.

If there's one thing that can set men apart from boys, this is it.

This devil is so terrifyingly hot, even the owner Larry needed much coaxing and convincing before he dared to down his own spice.

There was much hesitation initially. However, boys being boys, the need to prove our manhood overtook our common senses. Before long, each of us were taunting one another, "BE A MAN. DO THE RIGHT THING!"

We cut one habanero chilli into four slices, and four of us idiots downed them all at the same time.

In the words of Arnold, hasta la vista, baby.

This time, not even the best among us can stand the heat.

No words are necessary. Deepak's face said it all.

 

"Holy shit muthafuc...!!!"

KY looked like he was giving birth.

If he did, I wouldn't be surprised if a baby chilli came out of his ass. It was THAT bad.

I tried the bloody thing, and lemme tell ya, it was extreme excruciating pain.

My face was numb. I was dripping sweat all over and quickly losing all senses. Everything around me was a blur. I barely remembered walking round and round the restaurant wondering if I could make it back to Kuching Mexico alive.

For the next three minutes, we were squirming, moaning, swearing and breathing heavily. Other customers at the restaurant could've easily mistaken us for having a four-men gay orgy.

Everything was getting real ugly real fast.

I saw Larry drank water. Immediately, I gave up and gulped down another glass of water for myself.

KY hadn't had a drink yet but he wasn't looking too good either. A few minutes later, we saw him hurling his stomach contents into the sink. I couldn't hold it myself and promptly followed suit.

The Frontera staff has to don them rubber gloves to clear our mess up.

With myself, Larry and KY literally going down in flames, there was only one last man standing.

Deepak Gill. He da man!

It was a night of chaos and madness. But like any good story, ours didn't stop there.

Because each of us held the slices of habanero chilli with our fingers earlier, everything we touched after that stung and hurt like a bitch. It was almost like a perverse version of the Midas touch. Instead of turning into gold, everything we touched BURNS.

I rubbed my eyes with my hand, it burns.

I wiped the sweat off my face, it burns.

And then I made a mistake in the toilet when I took my manhood out with my hand to pee. Yes, IT FREAKING BURNS.

The worst part was yet to come.

Next morning as I sat in the loo emptying last night's dinner out my ass, guess what?

Last night's habanero's chili, I was tasting it from my a-hole.

For once in my life, I can proudly say - Yes, I have a burning hot ass!

101 Comments

Unregistered

was mr sembelit knocking in your ass door?

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haha I hate hot stuff, doubt I can down that chili, I'll most probably faint lol.

Unregistered

lol, hot ass, didnt know it can still burn when it's digested

Unregistered

I must bring my bf there to try....he loves spicy food and never complain spicy or hot! I so got to see him eating that!

Unregistered

chili cheese burger! :D

Unregistered

HAHAHHAHA
Your language is kinda vulgar in ths post
'ejaculate..lubricate..' lolss
nevertheless loves ths post! HILARIOUS! xD

Unregistered

I dont think its spicy at all. Malay food lagi pedas lah.

Unregistered

youre stupid, do u even know the hottest pepper in the world? Habanero rank 2 u stupid. Go try Naga Jolokia pepper and tell us again if malay foods are hot at all.

Unregistered

Your reply was so cool!

Unregistered

Kenny , what's the price range like to dine in Frontera...?

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yeh kenny u da man !!

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Damn tasty those chicken wings love em.

Our man Larry there sure knows his food and drink.

That 100% pure agave tequila is wicked smooth stuff.

Unregistered

THAT KENNYSIA GOOGLE PIN IS DA BOMB!!

Can I steal one of those?

kennysia.com

Cannot! I cannot even steal it myself. And it's got my name on it!

Unregistered

i think i'll die. i enjoy spicy food but this seems too much.

Unregistered

oh? I laughed.

Unregistered

Ha ha.. I tried the chili before.. And it was really really burning.. Need to ask ambulance and bomba to standby..

Unregistered

that is one really hot post
by the way
where si the place ?
y no chicks wan ah ?
are you going towards the dark side of the sexual encounters
but nonetheless it was a totally fun post among good frens
which i could join you in the near future.
but till then
may the chilli force be with you

Unregistered

LOL owned

Unregistered

awesome pin, you da man!

Unregistered

haha ~! that was awesome ~! ahhhaaha ~ so funny ~!
hehe ~!

Unregistered

should try the Naga Jolokia pepper then.
1,000,000 in Scoville units

Unregistered

Why do you describe your food like your're telling a sex tale one?

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you're*

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Well, I can say that my arse has been on fire for a few times now after consuming some other hot and spicy foods xD

Unregistered

Hahaa. You guys were really cool, I wish I could do crazy stuffs like those with my friends too. I like hot and spicy stuffs but I don't think I'll try to take that chili into my stomach. Those chicken wing looks extremely delicious though...

Unregistered

ROTFL! Good article! Makes me wanna go try the food at Frontera. Great publicity for them, not that they need it from the night time crowd!

Unregistered

Kenny, Milk neutralizes the burning, not water. Keep that in mind.

J

Unregistered

I think u guys can b guests in 'Jackass'

Unregistered

haha..very very funny kenny

Unregistered

lol, freaking amusing, i feel like i should one day try tat as one of the proof of my manhood.

Unregistered

HAHAHA, the looks on ur faces, priceless. The nachos looks delicious. :O

Unregistered

Thanks for the hilarious post. Reminds me of this slogan I sawfoot a habanero burger place in Silicon Valley - "You think eating it is the most excruciating pain in the world... Until it comes out the next day."

Cheers!

Unregistered

*saw from. Stupid iPhone autocorrect.

Unregistered

hahahah omg!!!!! burning hot ass!!

Unregistered

Wow, really it is that hot? Wah, since KY actually reviewed it earlier, have wanted to go and try. See if can make it this week or next.

Unregistered

Excellent post. Loved the photos. Pure gold. To my understanding the heat value of chillis are measured in Scoville Heat Units (SHU).

Hottest Thai chilli is around 200,000SHU and the Habanero is around 500,000SHU. Google it up... I think it is.

The Bhut Jolokia (aka Ghost Chilli) is over 1,000,000SHU, twice that of the Habanero. Not easily found. A few of my colleagues took extremely thin 3mm slices. Cried, stomach upset the whole day and had burning hot asses too (the next day)!

Unregistered

Heya Kenny!

food looks good!

Was told that you would be heading down to Melbourne to club with us Malaysians in CQ!

See you!

Unregistered

Ahh, thanks to emptying my stomach into the sink, I didn't suffer the hot ass effect.. much.

blardy hell I already promised myself not to touch habanero since I first had it 8 years ago. :S

Unregistered

is it as bad as Level 5? :|

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I used to do the 'Nando's Challenge' with friends too. Tried to eat as much hot suace with the least amount of drinks :)

Unregistered

That was really chio see lang.

Unregistered

Haha! Dammit, too bad I was in Sibu. I would have loved all that. :)

Unregistered

Take milk/alcohol/white bread instead of 'water' next time.

Also next time, take the Naga Jolokia. It'll make THAT like Mentos.

Bird's eye chilli (Cili Padi): 50,000 - 100,000 Scoville units.

Habanero chilli: 100,000 - 350,000 Scoville units.

Naga Jolokia: 1,041,427 Scoville units.

Another thing: Record yourselves next time.

Unregistered

ahh! I would love to try since I can take really really spicy stuffs! :p

Anyway that picture of you, with your burnt lips.. so classic :p

Unregistered

HAHAHAH!!
i know this is mean but i couldnt stop laughing!
another good post from u kenny!!
HAHAHAHAHASHAHAHAAH

Unregistered

denggg~ can u imagine if the tissue deepak used to wipe his eyes has chili on it also?! damnnn~ life's goooodddd... rofl!

Unregistered

The things we do as guys.... rofl, great post and my next visit will be Frontera

Unregistered

oh dear, luckily consuming too spicy food doesn't kill, it will just make your senses all disappear and make you lose your sanity...

i wouldn't even dare try it without water, but it would be fun to see who can tahan the longest... oh dear, i'm sure you're the hottest and spiciest man on earth right now..

Unregistered

This might sound odd, but one can actually get habaneroes at Kuching sunday market

Unregistered

lol hahahha you just made my day - now i can go back to work, dreaming about frontera's chilli wings *slurrrrrp

Unregistered

Boys will be boys! See what you get my boyfriend into! :P

Unregistered

I super-lol-ed reading this.

Unregistered

My Surinamese friend eats that everyday. She respectfully cuts it into the thinnest slices served in the tiniest portions. U guys were suicidal...

Unregistered

You just made my day man ... LOL

Thank GOD the office s empty I was laughing at the monitor for minutes non stop

Unregistered

My GURL has bigger balls than all four of you combined... She took one FULL habanero on her own, liked it so much that we planted the seeds and now we have all the habanero we want...

Unregistered

oh man this so so funny!

Unregistered

I was laughing my ass off when I read the part u touched ur manhood after touching the chili... omgosh..must be freaking burning hot...

HOT ASS? Hahaha... join in the hot ass club, kenny.. :P

Unregistered

HOLY CRAP!

that "waiter" is my COUSIN!! ahahahahah!

nice job! must go back to KL and try the place out! :D

Unregistered

ROFLMAO!! This is blardy hilarious lol anyway, thx for the recommendation, Kenny! Quite near my house, will drop by soon lol

But I wouldn't try those chilli tho, my ass is hot enough so I doubt it can take any firther burning a-hole XD

Unregistered

funny and hilarious! lol

Unregistered

first half of the entry, i was thinking to myself, luckyly i got good food in my hand while reading the post. those really look good. 2nd half..... er.... dun feel like eating anymore :P

Unregistered

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. eat somemore chilli lah!
the next thing you know, you're shitting indigested chilli and you'll be screaming,'OMG I SHITTED BLOOD OUT'
wtf. lol!

and i love frontera's food:D

Unregistered

next time when u're here in sg, u should try the famous buffalo wings at Sunset Grill & Pub.

they only listed level 1 to 10 in their menu but u may request up to level 30. and your name would be put on the wall if you try level 20 and above.

personally, i enjoyed level 2. level 3 is bearable and 4 is too spicy!

be warned cos some ppl already complain very hot for level 2.

http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/sunset_grill_pub_seletar/

Unregistered

hahahahahahaha.... i cant stop myself from laughing. It is too hilarious. Love ur post, kenny!!! rofl!

Unregistered

i actually cooked shin ramen with habenaro when i was in the states.... it wasn't that bad la....

Unregistered

Walao, go JO ? bo jio....

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WOooLaLa.. i'm heading straight to Fontera to try them out myself!!!

Btw, They have Salsa nights there every Sunday. Maybe you should pop over for dinner and then dance your heart out from the heat! :)

Unregistered

hahaha..i cant stop laughing reading ur post..next time get a glass of soya bean rather than plain water.LOL.rock~

Unregistered

eh ?! kenny = Kuching kia meh ? ..

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LOL, Kenny, you should bring some and put it on the ladies drink...

Unregistered

i love this post!! hilarious :D

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I can't eat anything too spicy, so just looking at the habanero chilli you consumed ... gives me pain!

Unregistered

omg...chili padi of malaysia like mentos candy?!?! 0_o
Kudos for the guts in trying habanero chilli, seriously.

Unregistered

Muy entertaining!

Unregistered

that chili is way too extreme already

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haha. I have habaneros growing in my garden. Produces too many that we can't eat as fast as it grows, so we usually end up freezing them, then we can use it some other time or give to others. We just use a few tiny slices in our curries/sambal. We love spicy but not till its excruciatingly spicy. LOL.

Unregistered

LOL nice one kenny... one of your funnier ones in a while =p

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Oh wow. I was there when you did the review. No wonder you looked oddly familiar. I was there with my family. First paycheck treat. And yes the Chilli Cheese Burger was scrumppppptious! Their Margaritas were awesome too. :D

Unregistered

Gosh wat a nite! Thanks for d invite Kenny.
Amelia I think u were a cpl of tables away? Haha! I think u left b4 shit hit da fan

Unregistered

Until the day i can conquer cili padi by eating them raw & not breakin' a sweat, i think i'll have my brains fried entirely & be making a one-way trip to the asylum if i ever do what you guys just did...

Unregistered

Um, how did you taste your own ass? Maybe it was a four-man gay orgy after all.

No wonder your manhood is burning lah, it might be gonorrhea. You should go to the clinic.

Unregistered

Sure or not... so hot meh.

Unregistered

wtf! u went fontera??

dude, i'm working nearby there laa.. brussels beer cafe..

come over and i get you some drink..haha

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My fam has habaneros growing in our farm too =)

they make awesome sambal xD

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mr kenny sia,you have made my day...your blog had me laughing non stop...keep up the good work...

Unregistered

Hahahahhahaha! man, I can't help laughing reading your post. So far, I've been to Fontera for Salsa every Sun night but never try their food. Probably I should and to justify how spicy I can tolerate. Will do it next week...you wait for my post ya ;)

Unregistered

if u are in spore, go to Sunset Grill and order their buffalo wings... go for the highest level ;) well, at least e ambience of e place would b worth the burning ass sensation~~ lol

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When I saw that Google pin I went 'LIDDAT ALSO CAN!'

Someday I'm gonna use the 'Kenny Sia' brand as a lecture hall example of hypercommercialism!

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that's my highschool mate cleaning up your puke in rubber gloves!

Unregistered

My friends and I went there for Margharitas one late night, and the waiter brought us the chilli. I took a taste, spat it out, started feeling the heat in my tummy 5 minutes later, followed by stomach discomfort for the rest of the week. =___=!!

Unregistered

U should try 911 chicken wing challenge in the state if future..

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There used to be a reward at Fontera IF you can personally down 3 habaneros... not sure if it's still applicable, the challenge i mean...

Unregistered

damn that fucking manhood of urs must fucked like shit

Unregistered

LOL kenny... this is hilarious

Unregistered

Hahahaha! that is exactly what happens the 1st time you eat raw habanero! You cannot be mexican if you don't do it at least once in your lifetime. Now you can go to the mexican embassy and get you "VIP chili ppassport" hahahaha... Also there's a south park episode where they have the same problems eating chili, but they have "cipotle-laway" to clean up the trousers the day after ROLF. See you la, malasya men rule! viva mexico!

Unregistered

i cant even take VERY hot pepper..

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LMFAOWROTF btw ur post made me......
hungry.....=L

Unregistered

shit man! i cant stop laughing! damn i gotta try this!

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If you guys happen to go frontera again, ask Larry who started the habanero chili eating competition and see what he tells you! Freaking hot stuff!!

Unregistered

Habanero is nothing! Bhut Jolokia on the other hand now that's hot but still edible.

Habanero is hot but when eaten you're suppose to enjoy the hot spicy ness and aroma that comes with it. I eat Habanero with almost all my food. Never had problems with my stomach or ass. The tingling sensation in your mouth is better than a bloody orgasm that last a couple of mins

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