I have been out of the dating scene for so long.
I think I must have totally forgotten how to go after chicks. :(
Come to think of it, the last time I seriously went after somebody was eight years ago. Even then I wasn’t very good at it, but at least I reckon I got a good grasp whether a girl likes me or not.
Now that I find myself back in the scene, suddenly I find myself so clueless and confused when it comes to girls.
Like an old hunter who has not picked up his rifle since his retirement, my hunting skills are so terribly rusty that I can’t shoot straight if my target is standing still staring back at me.
This whole dating business is too difficult and confusing for me. The hardest part is always the guessing games that two people play.
As men, many times we do not know whether or not the girl actually likes us back, or just merely treating us as good friends. Even if a girl likes us, she is not gonna tell you outright.
This ain’t Japan where girls give chocolates to guys they like on Valentine’s Day.
I am still a bit old-fashion in that I believe as gentlemen, we should always be the ones making the first move. At the same time, I also believe that we shouldn’t embarrass ourselves by violating her comfort zone, unless we are absolutely certain that the feeling is mutual.
We don’t wanna come across too desperate if she’s only treating us as friends ‘cos that might actually scare her off! Not only that, for the next few weeks, us guys will end up becoming gossip material between her and her girlfriends. That’s gonna ruin all chances we have.
And it’s a sure fire way to fall from Single and Eligible category, to the Single And Desperate (SAD) category.
So it all goes back to square one, how can we be certain that a girl likes us or not? We wanna go all the way, but we dunno what level of intimacy she is comfortable with. And if a girl don’t say it, how would we know?
Two words: Body Language.
Let me paint the scenario here.
Boy likes Girl. Boy asks Girl out. Boy goes out with Girl.
That’s when the guessing game begins.
As soon as the date begins, I start observing her body language.
Girls give very subtle hints to tell that they like a guy more than just friends. Our job is to guess. Hopefully we can impress her enough that at the very least, she grants us a kiss, on the lips, before the night is over.
What I do is that I carry around an invisible Female Interest Level Scorecard. For the benefit of single guys reading kennysia.com right now, I decided to publish it here.
Add points if things go our way. Subtract points if she thinks of me as just a friend.
Add points if:
- She hugs you. +5 points
- She hugs you so tight it almost suffocates. +10 points
- Laughs at your jokes. +5 points
- Eyes locked onto yours when she’s talking to you. +10 points
- Leans forward across the table when talking to you. +15 points
- (Unless your voice damn soft lah, then it’s a false positive and –20 points)
- Holds onto your shirt when going through crowded areas. +5 points
- Holds onto your arm when going through crowded areas. +10 points
- Holds onto your hand when going through crowded areas! +15 points
(that’s why we bring girls go clubbing. It’s a test, you see.)
- Gaze at you intently when you’re not looking. +10 points
- Before saying goodbye, she pauses as if waiting for something. +15 points!
Subtract points if:
- She does all the stuff above with her normal friends anyway. –5 points
- She does the above stuff, but only when she’s drunk. –10 points
- Instead of hugging you, she shakes your hands. –20 points
- Laughs at your jokes, but very painfully and forcefully. –10 points
- Looks around the room impatiently when talking to you. –25 points
- When she talks to you, the only topic of conversation is about her ex. –30 points
- When she talks to you, the topic is about her current bf. –99 points!
By the end of the night, total it up, and see whether or not you pass or fail.
If you score:
0 to 20 points, can hug her goodbye. Hug with one arm only. You are a friend only.
20 to 40 points, can hug her goodbye with both arms. Still friends.
40 to 60 points, can kiss her lah, but on the cheek. Don’t greedy!
60 to 80 points, you da man. Move in for lip lock. You got her!
80 to 100 points, according to the game The Sims, this is what they call “Woo Hoo!”
I scored NEGATIVE 109 points.