The other day, I was talking to my friend *Diane, and something she said left me quite rattled.
She said to me that if a woman wants to marry a successful husband, live a good life and be happy, then she should learn how to close one eye to her husband's extra-marital affairs. Her theory being that most successful men do not stay loyal to their wives. When the lure of a younger meat comes along, it would be too difficult for any man to resist.
She spoke of her own experiences and the numerous times that rich, married men made a pass on her and her girl friends. As much as she was disgusted by their behaviour, she accepted it as a fact of life, something realistic that is bound to happen in an unidealistic world like this.
It was a hard pill for me to swallow but it sure kept me thinking for a while.
Are women these days so disillusioned that they're willing to accept a less-than-perfect marriage in return for an above-average lifestyle? Are the current crop of married women thinking the same way as well? That successful men are likely to be unfaithful, and not-so-successful men are likely to be more loyal.
Because if that's the case, then I reckon us men are in big trouble. Because that means women are marrying us thinking that we are either always gonna cheat. Or they marry us because they think we are a bunch of losers.
*Diane wasn't the only person who thought that way. Another friend of mine, *Sylvia, a Kuching girl married to a Japanese told me exactly the same thing.
"If my husband went and slept with an 18-year-old girl, I'm not gonna blame my husband. Men have their needs what. There's no way that my saggy body is going to compete with that of a young teenage girl." She claimed "Instead of blaming my husband, I'm gonna feel sorry for the girl for giving her body away to a man who'll come home to me at the end of the day."
Whoa! Hang on a minute, am I missing something? I thought marriage is a union between a mommy and a daddy. Not between a mommy and a daddy who decided it's a good idea to get another mommy when he's bored with the original mommy. What has the world come to?
I couldn't accept what they're saying, because it seems preposterous enough that a married man should go around sleeping with a younger woman. Let alone have that act sanctioned by the wife! All my life I'm brought up to believe that once a man is married - that's it, dating game is over. Your responsibility is now to your family. No more hanky-panky, no more fooling around.
On the other hand, I could see where the girls are coming from.
Let's face it, every women out there wants to marry a successful guy and lead a good life. Last time, if you ask a girl what she wanted to be when she grows up and she'll tell you "a nurse", "a scientist" or "teacher".
These days you ask a girl the same question and she'll say "I wanna be Paris Hilton" or "Victoria Beckham"!
Sure, when you first got married, you're all lovey-dovey, hunky-dorey and all those mushy adjectives ending with "-ey". The husband became successful in his career, made a lot of money and began to meet lots of people, some of whom are young attractive women who find men like him with financial stability very sexy.
He started to have doubts in his mind, but when he came home to his messy house, his wrinkle-infested overweight wife and his Dolby Surround Sound™ bawling child, he's gonna wonder what the hell is he doing with his life. Outside, there's a young sexy lady wanting to blow his mind, and he's turning her down for the sake of morality? Screw morality!
Of course, these girls would much rather their men stay faithful. In a perfect world, that would be the case. In a perfect world, there's no AIDS, people don't forward irrelevant SMSes and my fart smells like daisies. But for as long as my fart smells like rotten eggs, these girls are saying that they're prepared to accept the next best thing. And that is to allow their husbands' infedility.
If you ask me, if I can't have both then I'd much rather have a less successful career and more of a happy family. Part of the reason why rich and successful men are having affairs with younger women is because when they were young, they worked so hard to build their career that they missed out the joys of being young.
Then they hit mid-life crisis.
I never want that to happen to me.
That's why I plan to marry late, so I could get all the fooling and flirting around out of my system before I commit to one woman and one woman only, for the rest of my life, till death do us part.