Girls, please do not read this one. This entry is for men only.
Still here? Why am I not surprised? Pfft! Girls! Well, International Womens Day is over so I get to complain about girls. Right, moving along.
Apparently, the hottest book on the market for women right now is He's Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys authored by the story editor of Sex and the City et al. Simply put, its a no-nonsense guide book for women about men. The book has taken the world by storm, translated into many different languages, and selling faster than a $2 prostitute. Seriously, its the next big book on love and relationships since Men are from Mars, and Women Love Penis.
I'll be honest. I've not yet read the book. I'm not much of a book reader. In fact, the last book I've ever read from start to finish was Sam's Teach Yourself Visual Basic in 21 Days.
Man says "I'll call you" to girl. But man never call after 5 minutes. Girl over-reacts "OMG OMG! Does he love me? Does he love me not?!? He doesn't love me!!! I'm DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMEEDDDD!!!"
GIRLS! Calm down! For god's sakes, us men are not supposed to be the creature that's hard to understand! That's YOUR job! But hey, I don't see them publishing a book titled A Guide to Understanding PMS do they? Why do you even need a book to understand guys?!
Think about it... a book about understanding MEN? What the fork? Men are the easiest species to understand!
Hey, we're not the species who takes 3 hours putting on make up only go to a totally pitch-black cinema! We don't have 50 uncomfortable shoes from Vincci instead of 2 comfortable ones from Nike! We don't find excuses spending RM2,000 on a Louis Vuitton handbag when we can have an X800 Radeon graphics card! (PS. Its ok Nicole baby, I still love you!) A BOOK ABOUT UNDERSTANDING MEN! What next? A book for women about how to read a map?
Still, I give them props to be able to sell a book that essentially tells you straight to your face you are not loved! And then tries to act all sweet with that You are exceptional, not the exception line.
Girls who have read He's Just Not That Into You usually describe it with "That's sooooo true!", praising it like its the most factual book since The Bible. They become enlightened because after reading the book, they understand the reasons to all their woes. Then, they suddenly transform into relationship experts for all their friends, writing a 5000 word reply at one go, repeatedly quoting "If he's into you he will BLAH, but because he's just not that into you so BLAH". Yet, somehow they still manage to become even more confused than they are BEFORE they read the book. Example (plagiarised from the comment section of www.xanga.com/alli_talli without permission. ;) Thanks Alli!):
sigh - strap yourself in girl, cos this is going to be a long reply. remember what greg said: YOU ARE EXCEPTIONAL, BUT NOT THE EXCEPTION - if he really is into you, then HE would have done all the things in his power to make you happy, not sad and to please you by now. no ifs, no buts, no i'm busy with school or work or your family is weird or any of that bullshit. when he doesn't call or be at a place when you expect him to be, if he has an answer for everything and criticises you, if he takes hours or days to reply - thats your answer. if he really is into you, he would move effing mountains! i know - it was so harsh when i read it but its true, isn't it? because if u put the situation in reverse, ANY guy that we're in love with, we'd put first - so the fact taht they're making us do all the work or jerking us around ("you call me" bullshit) shows that "they're just not that into us." its hard to walk away, especially if you're a loyal person - sometimes its like youre so strong and take three steps forward but tons of steps back. i dont think you should take what he says with a grain of salt jen ---- THIS IS THE SALT! ahaha. this is the cold hard UGLY DISGUSTING SICK DEPRAVED, SO SOO DEPRAVED truth - omg i so feel like alanis morissette right now. if he wanted to: he would have. as for being kiss deprived ... 1.5 years is long. then again, i waited like 21 years for a DECENT one (i'm excluding ones from high school and that one girlfriend I kissed... thats for another time) - and sure, like its sad when the person you SO WANTED to be kissing for a bloody long time isnt there to kiss you anymore (because he's just not that into you) and you when people tell you "youre young and there's so many more to come" - they tell you the best way to get OVER someone is to get UNDER someone else but its like aaargh - i dont want a hundred men, i just happen to want the one ... one who "is just not into me". so that's the answer, i think. not really an answer because i 've managed to confuse my own self even more but i know how you feel! ahaha. i mean, you know ridiculous it is right? to pine and PINE like some pathetic creature meanwhile they're happy and contented and settled and have TOTALLY MOVED ON? when you think about how much of *your* GORGEOUS LOOKS you're wasting (it's a different story for me, but YOU! HELOOO!), when you think about how much time and ENERGY this is taking away from you, when you think about how much this is distracting you from things that REALLY matter like school or your career - when you think about all this when he couldn't give a flying fuck - when you think about it in this light, welll, i dont know about you ,but it makes me just want to say "fuck this" i'm so over feeling like this - it'd be better (so i'm assuming, i wouldnt' know) to know that they wanted you but ... "they're just not into you". you may not be over him, but i think being OVER IT is the first step. so my dear there's just one thing to say: DONT WASTE THE PRETTY! (even if youre still hanging out with him and he performs conversational masturbation on you ... he still isnt that into you) ;)
(Diplomatic message interjection: No offense to Alli and the other girls that I have mentioned in this entry. Nothing against you all. :) I think you are all smart beautiful women, exceptional not the exception and all that kinda stuff. But I'm just a little bit annoyed but the book... just a little bit. Anyway, you can always flame me back later! heh)
All I want to say to girls who have read that book (or those who are about to read that book) is CHILL OUT! Just because we didn't make you the super-duper-number-one on our priority list doesn't mean that we don't love you. We could be sitting on our throne taking a dump before we decide to call you, because hell, shitting is more important than calling you, you know? Please don't expect us to move mountains when its difficult enough trying to decipher what "Anything-lah" means when we're ordering food for you at the restaurant and then having to put up with your black face because Anything-lah actually meant Grilled Fish instead of Chicken Pasta.
LADIES! If you want to understand men, let kennysia.com tell you in one simple line.
There's only one thing, just ONE THING that on our mind when it comes to girls. And that's the three-letter-word that starts with "S" and ends with "X".
Yes, ladies and gentlemen.
Us men think of the number 'SIX' all the time.
And that's beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, and BEER!