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Sunday, 05 June 2005

Revenge of the Malaysian Girl

New blogger Cheneille from Penang KL didn't like what I wrote about Why I Should Date Singaporean Girls, which is why she crafted a retaliation entry that not only made my balls shrink to the size of raisins, she practically chewed both of them off and made pancakes out of it.

(In my defence, just because I was praising Singaporean girls doesn't mean I'm putting down Malaysian girls leh. :) )

Update: Please stop attacking Cheneille. She means no malice and I like what she wrote. Its all done in good humour. Here's a T-shirt to cool you down.
t-shirt

Here's what she wrote.

2. Singaporean Girls have a good sense of humor.

"Look Kenny you probably haven't met many Malaysian girls then. We have a sense of humor too!! We know the difference between a sarcastic joke and a sarcastic insult too! Whaddya mean you don't have to worry as much about offending someone? We don't get offended easily okay! How dare you! Hmph I angree oledi. *aiya die die i tink hor i'm falling into his trap now leh.. i reli got no ai-dier if he was jus told a joking anot wor. so how now? tolonggg* ah hehe I was just testing you.. Of COURSE i'm not mad! Oh teehee Kenny you're like SO funny! *bimbo voice* oh did you like hear about that one about britney spears kissing madonna? that is like, ridiculously hilarious! i mean like, britney kissing like madonna? omg that is just so like tickling me!"

6. Singaporean Girls are health-conscious.

"That explains why there are more aneroxia cases in Singapore."

Ouch.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I was browsing through some magazines in a bookshop earlier today when I noticed Mr & Mr Smith was featured on a recent issue of Hype, which apparently is some Malay language teeny-bopper Smash-Hitz type magazine.
mag

Looks normal right? Ok don't ask me what 'Macho Membunuh' and 'Anggun Membunuh' means. I have no idea.

Here's a closer look.
mag

TUAN SMITH!!!!

mag

PUAN SMITH!!!!

What the heck?

Face it lah. Some Malay-to-English translation just wouldn't sound right even if you attempted it. You think your Malay-speaking readers need all the English words to be translated in order to understand it one meh?

Another newly-invented Malay word I cannot stand is 'Gempak'.
mag

When I first saw that word on an Astro poster, it annoyed the hell out of me because I can't for the live of me figure out what 'Gempak' is supposed to mean. I kept pronouncing it 'Gh-erm Pa-ak'. It took me half a day to realise 'Gempak' is the Malay-equivalent of the English word 'Jam Pack'. A bit ridiculous, right?

Meanwhile, here's a free movie poster I made especially for the Hype magazine editors.

99 Comments

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ROFL, yeah, they do make funny translations. Imagine ur watching The Day after Tomorrow and the subtitle says 'lusa' .

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Doesn't beat 'Keseorangan Di Rumah 3' poster that I saw at KL some time back.

And the publisher of Hype, coincidentally, also publish the magazine 'Gempak'.

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I still remember Ben Affleck's show called "Paycheck" .... "Cek Gaji"

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Ever heard of "Lelong Dua Belas" a.k.a Cheaper By The Dozen? Cracked me up...And, "Dendam Kumpulam Sith". Yeah, there WAS a typo on it! Knocked the wind out of my stomach...

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hard disk = disk keras
hard drive = pandu keras
joy stick = kayu gembira

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ROFL. Funny shit.

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aiks.. they ruin the whole title. I actually look forward to the malay translation everytime before the movie starts. damn entertaining, k! if they don't come out with it then we won't laugh.. and kenny sia won't have anything to bitch blog about..XD

ps-u should perhaps make amends by writing a 'why should i date malaysian girls' version XD

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Hey kenny, this girl quite funny leh. Maybe you can date her. Then you'll have funny kids as well.

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There's one time I went 2 watch 'Finding Nemo'. The straight malay translation that I expected was 'Mencari Nemo'. Instead, it was 'Lautan yang luas' (Wide Ocean). =/

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English: Plug and Play ------>
Malay: Cucuk dan Main

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hrm, i could have sworn changing most things from english to BM must use the 'hukum dm' thing which would make eg: plug and play - main dan cucuk?
And the girl seems to be very the anger with what you said ler kenny, do something :P

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suppose that girl was kinda right. you did sound like you were pretty keen on dating singaporean girls. but i've always thought that girls in sabah/sarawak are really pretty. even prettier than singaporeans. =P

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juli said: "but i've always thought that girls in sabah/sarawak are really pretty. even prettier than singaporeans."

amen. u have been enlightened.

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hard disk = disk keras
hard drive = pandu keras
joy stick = kayu gembira

Commented by: Joe at June 5, 2005 02:31 AM

LMAO.

That particular phrase got me choking on water.

KAYU GEMBIRA.

xD

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Hey dude, you forgot one important thing:" In Singapore, Oral sex is illegal unless it is used as a form of foreplay." So, a road trip from Johore to Penang would be a lot more fun if you date Malaysian girl :)...plus we can bribe the highway patrol.

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I think 'gempak' means 'cool''happening''chun', etc...it's a pretty common word. Don't think it has anything to do with 'jam pack', though.

Literal Malay translations do sound really awkward and wannabe-ish.

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'Keseorangan Di Rumah 3' zomg...
*rolling on the floor laughing*

tuan & puan smith... i don't feel like watching the movie anymore... *an outright lie of course*

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hahahahahaha, you're hilarious!!!!

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they should have shortenned the "Tuan" and "Puan" and called it, T.P Smith, and have Beavis randomly pop up in the movie saying : " I need Tee Pees for my bunghole !!"

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Now they make u sing the national anthem b4 the movie starts....wad next?..flag pole anyone?

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allergy = elergi..this i found on tv...wat the hell...singaporeans are soo calculative too..hahah..only degree holders need to apply for sing gal..hahah

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haha ... funny!

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i remembered i went to watch 101 dalmations...guess what was the malay equivalent to the title....

101 BINTIK

.......

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actually "gempak" means cool and happening...im pretty sure it doesnt mean jampack..its just a slang they use...like the word "cun"..thats a malay slang..isnt it?

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not suppose to be Tuan Smith but Encik Smith
cindy: kayu ria...joy stick

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laughs. that self-made poster is damn funny...

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Heh, the proper translation would be "Encik" and not "Tuan". Tuan means lord, master, etc - not mister. Encik and Puan Smith sounds okay also mahh...

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BTW, Gempak is a Malay word, not an Malay-fied word for jampack. The Dewan Bahasa dictionary says:

gempak bp cepat tersentuh atau melatah terhadap sesuatu (b3erita, peristiwa, dll).

The best translation for it is "happening".

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As my friends and I sat back to watch THe Day After Tomorrow. The title rolled out majestically, followed by a small 'lusa' subtitle at the bottom =p

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the best subtiting i saw was when i wathced "daylight" and it was titled in BM 'Terperangkap' . Go figure

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LOLz... the poster you did is hilarious! I certainly cannot get enough of your blogs kenny... It makes me smile and laugh... Haha...

And wow... what blogger Cheneille said is true too. For me, it's actually up to your taste right... I mean not EVERY Singaporean girl will be likeable as those you've met. And not EVERY Malaysian girl cannot meet up to those personality style that you've mentioned. And you have to bear in mind that Singapore is an island where lots of people from all over the world visit and set up their marks as compared to Malaysia where the places are limited to certain areas only. Hence of course Singapore girls have seen, experienced and are influnced by more versatile and up-to-date culture.

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Trust me, it's the influence... Not that Singaporean girls are born like that. Put them in Malaysia for several years and you'll see that they've become something else.

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my command in malay is getting worse too. hmm..

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You're really nice Kenny.

Singaporean and Malaysian city girls are pretty much alike ler...its just that Malaysia is a bigger country with small towns, villages as well and a bigger female population. Thus girls in Msia vary more.

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hi everyone. i suppose i should say something as well. in case there are lazy blogders here as well ( i cannot believe u dont click on kenny sia's every link!), i DID write on my blog that i meant it as a joke. NOT AS REVENGE OR ANYTHING!!! sigh...... anyway kenny if ur reading this, i already replied ur comment leh... frens, can be? hard feelings, don't have?

ehem, on a lighter note, i laughed my ass off (oh sorry dont have one in d first place) reading all that cucuk dan main and kayu gembira thingys... hehehe i received an email like that once. too bad i dunno where it went. (yeah yeah some smartass is probably gonna go "see msia girls not it-savvy enough!" whatever man~~)

ps: i didnt know gempak was a translation from "jam pack" as well. my goodness...

i know another one. download is "turun muat". watever the hell THAT means...

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actually, its 'muat-turun' for download. saw it on astro in malaysia. muat is obviously load, while turun is down. it does make sense in some ways but then again...

there has always been a problem in translation. it's not easy to do. and they're never accurate. an italian watching an italian-dubbed version of kill bill would definitely say it's crap. dodginess is inevitable in translation.

and i did some translation units when i was malaysia, so i kinda know how shitty it is to translate languages.

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we all know nationality isn't really a criteria for dating someone. but to be practical, it's more convenient to date someone living in the same area, because long-distance relationships are hard to maintain... even a malaysian dating another malaysian but living a few states away from each other is tough. if you're sure it's worth it, then that's all well and good :)

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err wrong kenny. smith = tukang. (i think? Wtf)

tuan puan tukang.

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Why, she sounds like she has this thing against singaporean girls. HEY!!! I'm a singaporean too! I don't dislike her why she dislike me? Kenny.. must be you lah.. haha..

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The whole translation thing is beyond my comprehension.

Just like how French movie titles turn out weird when translated to English. =/

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as others have pointed out, gempak is a legit malay slang lah.

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clarise: i don't dislike u. i don't dislike anyone. except for some ppl who don't know d meaning of doin somethin just for fun and not to generate advertisements or somethin like someone sed.. i already stated clearly in my blog from d beginning i am very connected with singapore. MY WHOLE ENTRY WAS A GAG OKAY??? and to all u ppl who have a problem with me, just take a running jump at a cliff or somethin. bet ur d same ppl who critisize xiaxue for all her brilliant articles coz ur too jealous of her blogder-count.

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It's amusing that Malaysians dunno Malaysian's slang. But then again, some Singaporeans dunno Singapore slang. Too poison by Singapore's SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH campaign. *laughs*

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Hey Kenny, that girl doesn't seem to take a joke....if she can't...than that's too bad to be a blog...she can't cus she can't take jokes from Kennysia.com. Too bad...i should name her "The Revenge of The Malaysian Little Gal" Episode 2...cus XiaXue is Episode one...good ides?

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Have a sense of humour people. Geez....

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Anyone watched The Punisher? The translation came out was Penyeksa....

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call him anything, tuan smith, mr smith. ooo~goddamn he's hot. must. watch. this. movie. 9th. june. so. near. yet. so. far.

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Hey Cheneille, you stink! as in very funny. You would be great in stand-up, and with some acting in addition to words/scripts, you could get stinkier. Think.. the good old Robin Williams and the most recent Lewis Black.

But I think you may have further solidified the big-balls’ views. Here is why: You were up till three in the morning on Saturday, you can’t be out partying (5 is out), and instead blogging and that is not exactly blow-xyz (3 is out). At this hour, you have to be in pajamas, so not exactly fashion material (1 is out) and is bad for your health too for not getting to bed early (6 is out.). This particular entry is more like ranting, technically is an emotional dumping and requiring no opinion at all (4 is out). And since you are still staying with your parents, you can’t possibly claim financial independence (7 is out). You certainly earned every aspect of 2.

Go and kick some ass!

(Sorry Kenny for trespassing as Cheneille's site requires the retarded login pain-in-the-you-know-where.)

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hey kenny!! i've just discovered ur blog a few days ago and i have to admit i love it.
keep up the good work. can i link you?

mr n mrs smith.. i must waaaaaaaaaaaaatccchhh!!! =D

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Wahai rakyat Malaysia sekalian, kitorang sepatutnya bangga dengan bahasa ciplak kita. Walaupun BM terdiri daripada 50% bahasa Indonesia, 20% bahasa Inggeris dan 30% bahasa-bahasa lain, kita tak patut buat lawak tak tentu pasal terhadap bahasa rasmi negara kita.

Bak kata orang putih, "Fuck all da haters!" iaitu "Khong ketlah para pembenci!"

Sekian, terima kasih.

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Hey, since you touched on movie title translations.. Any idea how did they translate "The Matrix" in Malay? I need that for my performance a.s.a.p. HELP!

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aduh guys....just a joke in the blog bah...no need to be so mad

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To: that dumb girl
It just pisses me to no end to see stupid people who automatically assumes that you condemn the opposite party, when you make a comment that praises (be it a joke or not) a party.

Look, just because Kenny praises Singaporean girls to hype out the whole "zomg xiaxue wanna marry me!" thing, doesn't mean that he thinks badly of Malaysian girls. Likewise, just because I despise some of the fundamentalist Christians' actions on killing abortion doctors and burning down their clinic, doesn't automatically make me a person who's against anything that has to do with Christianity. Stop assuming things.

It just doesn't make any sense at all. If everyone were to act like you, the whole world would've been beriddled with hatred and war, mainly due to reasons like Christians bombing the hell out of Muslims, for not believing in Jesus (hey, that Muslim guy praises Allah! So he MUST be condemning Christianity!), or the vice versa. Or hell, Americans would've bombed the whole world for that reason too (ZOMG That person doesn't sing the American national anthem! He MUST be a terrorist who have absolutely no love for America!)

And yes, I didn't bother to post this down her site, due to it being hosted on the shitty friendster site, that requires everyone to register, login, before posting.

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can sumone stop this already, damn. SHE AINT HATING ON ANYONE, OK ??????? geez, youse must have some serious case of penis envy or sumthing to have such a narrow view.

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btw, to quote su-yin : i dont think 'fuck all the haterz' would classify as orang puteh's saying, unless they're all middle class black gangsta wannabes who calls themself 'shady'.

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*snicker* "Khong ketlah para pembenci!"
setuju...

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aww come on people... it's all just for humour...

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At least we have a more comprehensive grasp of english and a better fashion sense than m'sian girls. Seriously some of them look so SCARY.. no wonder there are less cases of anorexia - because they are obviously deluded in the first place.

Not that I'm condoning eating disorders, nor do i have anything against Malaysians (well, not really). I'm just looking for trouble, as usual.

Btw, good job tuan kenny sia. :)

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I tell you, having a FUGLY brat talking about us (S'porean girls) like this. Pissed me off so damn much man. Kenny, Kenny... Why is she like this? Sounds like she hates us alot, no? I can't stand her. Puiiiiiii.

Kenny replies: She doesn't hate you. Its all done in good humour lah. Please read the entire entry carefully.

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Lol! Hilarious stuff!

I noticed you were picking on the word 'gempak, but not 'selebriti'. Does that mean 'selebriti' is a proper lexicon-ised word in Bahasa Melayu?

Sorry, I don't know any Bahasa Melayu cause Saya Singapore Cina. :-D

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okay, okay, it's my bad for taking her entry seriously. >__>*

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if you cant speak mly. just accept the fact. are you racist or are you racist? im a chinese by the way. and for your info, tuan and puan means mr and mrs. and smith is the name for goodness sake. what? do you expect the names to be changed? sheesh.

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dude, i'm malay and came across the word 'gempak' like over 10 years ago. Despite passing it hundreds of time at Queensway Shopping Centre, ultimately an Indian classmate of mine made me realise it was meant to be Jam Pack. I must have been left out of the memo to the rest of the Malay population..

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hi kenny, I think U a damnapbrut conneckutti,
being Malaysian - Ipoh girl looks cute and sexy too just like Michelle yeo, mann.
wat do U say..?

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TUAN & PUAN SMITH!!!!!!!

That is very fkin hilarious manz!!

Well..it's just the difference in culture and environment. At the end of the day, it is how the men handles and respects a lady.

Cheers

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Phewwwww!!!!!!wow kenny keep up the good work ,soon we will be sending scud missile to singapore and vise-versa,hmmm!!!at least all the comment's here make me lough and kill some extra time i have,the best word i have learn today is kayu gembira,kenny can i borrow your kayu gembira,lol!!!!

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Phewwwww!!!!!!wow kenny keep up the good work ,soon we will be sending scud missile to singapore and vise-versa,hmmm!!!at least all the comment's here make me lough and kill some extra time i have,the best word i have learn today is kayu gembira,kenny can i borrow your kayu gembira,lol!!!!

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enough already!!! CANT you see it is annoying ppl!
ps:if i was you kenny..i would block all this ppl who translates english to bm for you and think its funny..

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All these talk about Singapore girls sets me into a deep mode of thoughts....about 20 years ago...Singapore girls is no different than any other ladies in the region....but as society progress...things starts to compromise....you can find most denizens in most develope or going to be deveope countries a wee bit cocky....maybe the price that we are all paying for what we call sophistication and modernisation....to a point that relationship anf friendship becomes so complex..

sad its true

life will only get lonelier...to a point that you will have so much to spend but so little friends to spend and enjoy life with....sad but true

its nothing to do with gender....its just the evolution of a mindset from simplicity to complexity....its just not Singapore that is experiencing it.....ask the New Yorkers if you doubt what I say ....

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weird translations:
quotation = kuotasi (i heard this one on tv last9, weird..)
Chuck Norris' movie, SIDEKICKS was translated as TENDANGAN SISI. i bet those watching the movie wud have wondered when the movie ended why there were no Tendangan Sisi moves shown. BAH!!

anyway, let me just say this.. everybody is beautiful la. get over it. it was meant to be a humour watttt..peace

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I believe 'gempak' is a commonly used colloquial malay term. Terms like 'malu-ation' (for embarassment) and 'agar-ation' (for estimation) does no more justice, if not less, to the english and malay language. Ignorance or taking the piss? You tell me.

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Oh, and do forgive me for my phonetical ineptitude, but when you say 'Gh-erm Pa-ak', is it like how Genting Highlands (of theme park fame) is pronounced as Jenting Highlands by some?

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omg kenny, til dis very day, i still tot gempak meant ghermpaak if u din tell me it mean jam pack!!! holy macaroni...i went ard telling ppl ghermpaak la dia....

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coria, gempak means something like cool..



oh, and fellars,

i have the translation joke for the joystick-batang gembira..

just click on my nickname.. its on my blog.. :P

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what the hell are U thinking!?...well im not really malay coz my dad is an american (texas)...while my mom is a malay girl....i think malay are the best...they are gentle...smart...sweet...well what else hah..yah whatever..but still malay = malaynium :p haha!!

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LOL

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you are funny, the way you pronounce Gempak, talking bout this, my ex, he is a Singaporean and the thing is he cant pronounce properly the malay word tentera (eng-soldier). He would pronounce it as "dendera" and i would laugh and giggle non stop.

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lolz

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Tomb Raider was ok at Penceroboh Kubur. I cracked up during Charlie's Angels... Tiga Pahlawan Wanita Yang Unggul!

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Hey, Yeah I agree. Malay words are just ridiculous. Especially that Jampack or Gempak. Lol. Why can't they be original and have their own way of saying stuffs instead of copying blindly from the English words? Or no, not copying. Translating. Tuan dan Puan Smith. Mr. and Mrs Smith..Hard disk..disk keras.. LOL

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the best i've seen is in a scene from Black Hawk Down when the commander shouted 'Everybody Duck!'...and the translation says 'Semua Orang Itik!'

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what took u so long to notice her damn curves ?
those luscious lips know how to suck duck !
Those thighs can kill a man !
ooohhh...i'm horny

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Wa salah lu mai kong - Assalamualaikum

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hi

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we have to admit that all this funny malay/english translations in the cinema have been going on for a long-long time. Even our national cartoonist 'LAT' has made fun of it in his comic book a long time ago. So stop making fun of it as if it is something new. It was bad then and it is even worse now. As LAT mentioned in his cartoon, the soldier said "fire" and the translation was written as "api". How about this
Komputer ini mengandungi barang keras, barang lembut yang original.dilengkapi perkakasan cucuk dan main. How about the chinese / malay translation in the tele, most of the time it should had been kita instead of kami. I remembered someone complained in the newspaper, the hero said " I am worn and torn " and the subtitle was written as " saya satu dan sepuluh " Anyway I enjoyed reading all the comments: cheers

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dear first i want girl malaysian very butyfull 18 years old becuse i am somali moslim my name anwar and i am 24 years old i am workin in doha from qatar my mobell is 09745328705 i love girl malaysian duble ok take care.

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3 Gadis Detektif = Charlie's Angel

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ey kenny how about singaporean men :]

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Haha yeah direct translation.

Holy Cow = Lembu Suci

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joy stick = kayu gembira
AHAHAHAHA
KAyu GembiRA=Erected Dick!!

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ahahahhahaha.. bout those translations jokes... my... haha... my heart almost stop beating due to excessive dose of laughter. hm, u know what, those translation probs-turn-out-to-be-jokes happened due to the translators' prob themselves. i guess they're a bunch of people who didn't noe a good command in both language -english n malay-

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gempak = ??
crappy.

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yea meh? then you better move to the united states if there's better than here.

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wtf wtf wtf...???

took u half a day to know wat gempak means? gosh, it took me a few secs man, Kamus Dewan kan ader.. ptui2.

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The Devil Wears Prada - Bos Dari Neraka.. hahahaha saw that in the cinema.. =D

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Enough is enough.
Singapore girls are pretty, Malaysia girls are pretty!!!!
but unfortunately Japanese girl are much better, kekekekeke

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The most hillarious moment about a Harry Potter movie was when Ron Weasley arrived with his flying car to rescue Harry from his aunt's prison.

Why?

Because Harry said:
"Wait,I need to get my trunk!"

and the subtitles were:
"Tunggu, BATANG POKOK saya!"

*chokes!*

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Noticed this on Friendster

Password - Kata Laluan?

Malay words do not have their identity. They simply direct translate from English and use it however they want to..shessh

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To understand women, go to my blog hehhe..you will learn more :p

Hey, I am a Malaysian working in Singapore and I can assure you 51% of the Singapore's guys like Malaysian & China girls much more than Singaporean girls alrite. It is like 1% more!

P/S No offense Singaporean girls; just take it from the feedbacks from some Singaporean guys.

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