Ofs all the things I got from him, I also inherited his snoring.

It’s a Sia family thing. Every single person in my family snore when they sleep. It’s something we’re born with, and it’s something our partners have to live with.

My mother practically lived with it throughout her marriage with my father. After a while, she just got used to it.

For me, things are a little bit more difficult.

My ex used to pinch my nose whenever I snore. If it got worse, I’ll get a whack on the arm. I could never get a good night’s rest with her.

But it’s not just with girls. I travel frequently, and sometimes I share rooms with friends. They would be all cool with me at first, until the following morning.

The first thing they said to me when they wake up is not “Good morning!”, but “KENNY LAST NIGHT YOU SNORED SO LOUD AH!”

Hearing stuff like that hurt my feelings. Then again, I also realised it’s selfish of me to disturb other people’s sleep.

But it’s not like I can help it! If I can find a way to stop snoring, of course I would.

The problem is, I just about tried every solution there and nothing helped. Tablets, nasal sprays, tapes that cover my mouth when I sleep, tapes than open up my nose when I sleep, oxygen machines. You named it, I’ve done it.

Nothing works. In the end, I decided to seek professional help.

I went to see a doctor.

The first doctor I saw was an Ear Nose & Throat ENT Specialist at Sarawak General Hospital. I don’t know how to say this diplomatically, but it was possibly the biggest waste of time I ever had.

Firstly, just to see the doctor, I had to get a recommendation letter from my GP. Next, I need to make an appointment with the receptionist and put on a waiting list for 1 month before I can actually see him.

That’s okay - it’s a government hospital after all.

One month later, when I turned up for my appointment, I was asked to enter into a crowded waiting area. There, I waited for ONE HOUR for my turn – even when I had an appointment booked a month in advance.

When I finally got to see my doctor, he was clearly looking overworked and exasperated. After telling him my problems, the first thing he did was stick a camera through my nose - all the way down my throat.

It was really as disgusting as it sounds. I could smell the lingering odour of KY Jelly after he took the device out.

The doctor saw nothing wrong with my breathing passage. He asked me again what I wanted to do. I said I want to cure my snoring.

His response? Go for surgery.

“Would surgery cure my snoring completely?” I asked.

“Not necessarily... There’s still a risk you would be snoring after surgery.”

Obviously I wasn’t ready for something so risky, expensive and invasive. Some more there’s no guarantee of me curing my snoring problem. So I asked if there’s anything else he could do.

All I got was a very confused doctor looking at me quizzically.

I was rushed out as soon as I rushed in. In the end, I decided to forget about seeking a Kuching doctor for help.

I did some research of my own on how to cure my snoring, and came across a new cure for snoring of called “The Pillar Procedure”.

It works by inserting plastic implants into the back of your throat to stop it from vibrating. In Asia, one of the doctors who pioneered this procedure is Dr Goh Yau Hong from Mount Elizabeth Hospital, in Singapore.

It might sound like a ridiculous idea to fly to Singapore to see a doctor. Thing is, I really wanted to end my snoring once and for all – without invasive surgery if possible.

Earlier this year (after some arrangements with ParkwayHealth’s PR team) I made the decision.

I made the trip to Mount Elizabeth Hospital for my initial consultation with Dr Goh.

It was the best decision I have ever made. Believe it or not, seeing Dr Goh in Singapore was 1000 times easier than than making an appointment to see the ENT doctor at the General Hospital in Kuching.

Mount Elizabeth Hospital is under the Parkway Health Group, Singapore. In Kuching (and other cities like JB, KK and KL), they got a Patient Assistance Centre that handles patient enquiries, appointments, doctor bookings and trip arrangements for their hospitals.

The hospital is widely regarded as the best private hospital in the region. Many people from outside Singapore, including our Sultans, travel here to seek treatment for critical illnesses like cancer, heart, vascular and brain tumour diseases.

Having somebody do the logistics for them locally makes it very convenient for the patients. And their Kuching office provides this service at no extra charge.

Anyway, I arrived for my appointment that morning. After waiting not more than 10 minutes, I was called in to see Dr Goh.

All I can say, it was completely unlike my experience at Sarawak General Hospital.

Unlike my previous experience where I was rushed in and out because the doctor had no time for me, Dr Goh was amazingly patient and considerate.

So patient that he didn’t even administer me any treatment during my first visit!

Instead Dr Goh examined my nose and palate to determine what exactly causes my snoring.

In the end, he said to me three things.

First, although I came to see him for the Pillar Procedure, it would not cure my snoring. The procedure works if my throat muscles were too relaxed, but I don’t have that problem. My throat is strong! :D

The reason I snore was because I wasn’t breathing through my nose. I’m born in such a way that my nose was always blocked. All my life I had been breathing mostly through my mouth – and that is what causes my snoring.

Second, my snoring could indicate a more serious health problem called sleep apnea. It is when I completely stop breathing during my sleep – risky because it would cause a lot of health problems if not treated early.

And then there’s the weight issue.

This was me and Dr Goh, circa January this year.

I was weighing in close to 90kg, grossly overweight no thanks to my over-indulgence over the New Year. Dr Goh was blunt – if I want to stop snoring, I need to lose some weight.

He asked to come back to Singapore again.

I have to do a “Sleep Test” to determine if I have sleep apnea. Inreturn he promised to make my nose breathe better.

How?

By using a procedure called “Turbinate Reduction”, Dr Goh will COOK the piece of flesh that has been blocking my nose all my life.

Literally, he’s gonna microwave my nose!

Yes, it is very safe.

A while ago during the World Cup season, Tiger Beer ran a campaign titled “The Game Never Ends” in Singapore, Vietnam and Cambodia where fans of International Football icon Wayne Rooney get to win a once in a lifetime experience so good that not even money can buy.

It’s the first time an Asian brewery has signed on with an international football superstar.

Obviously, anyone who is fan of Manchester United went crazy over the contest. After all, the winners of this contest from each of the three countries will fly to Manchester, England to meet with Tiger Beer’s Football Champion Wayne Rooney and have a little kick-about with him.

Now, here’s the exclusive announcement.

I have just been informed - and you’ve heard it first on kennysia.com - that Tiger Beer is allocating ONE MORE TICKET for that exclusive meeting with Wayne Rooney through its Regional Online Influencers’ Challenge across Singapore, Malaysia and Vietnam!

The holder of the ticket will get the same exact treatment as the previous Tiger Beer contest winners: flights and accommodations in Manchester, a kick-about session with Wayne Rooney, lunch with the man himself and tickets to watch a Manchester United match at Old Trafford Stadium the following day.

If this ain’t what they called “an ultimate opportunity of a lifetime", I don’t know what is.

Now, I wish I could say I got that golden ticket to give out to you, and all you have to do is... I dunno, send me sexy photos of yourself? But I am really sorry I do not have it.

If I did then I think the amount of sexy photos I get from the male readers of this blog would be ridiculous.

The good news is, Tiger Beer has prepared to give that ticket out to one lucky person.

By now, about 50 specially-selected bloggers/online influencers from Singapore, Malaysia and Vietnam would have received an invite from Tiger Beer.

These bloggers are pre-selected because they share the same values of excellence and a deep passion to win and are good in what they’re doing - just like the partnership of champions between Tiger and Rooney, both striving to bring the best football experiences to fans.

In order to determine who gets the golden ticket to go to Manchester, these pre-selected bloggers have to go through a simple contest, and prove to the referees (consisting of Tiger Beer representatives and myself) why he/she is the “Champion of Champions” similar to how Wayne Rooney as Tiger Beer’s Football champion.

The most worthy of all will win the trip to Manchester for the kick-about / have lunch / do cartwheels with Wayne Rooney this October.

The contest will be organized somewhat like a football tournament.

First, the pre-selected blogger has to submit a blogpost titled “Why I Am A Champion Like Wayne Rooney”

Apart from using his blog, the blogger can also post his entry via Twitter, Facebook or YouTube account and use these online medium to draw comments. Through words, videos, photos, drawings, or even songs –he has to show why he is a champion just like Wayne Rooney.

For example.

Next, will the blogger will have to act like a team captain.

He has to recruit the support of 10 teammates,  to form a team of 11 - like a football team. The role of the 10 teammates is to use their own blog/Facebook/Twitter/You-tube to rally for as many people as possible to comment on their team captain’s blog.

The comments can be anything. For example, words of support for the blogger, or even questions  to Wayne Rooney himself about the Tiger Beer TV commercial.

Tiger Beer will reward one commenter with the most interesting question to Wayne Rooney about his Tiger Beer TV commercial with merchandise personally autographed by Wayne Rooney himself.

And then, it’s all up to us - the referees.

Representatives from Tiger Beer and myself will judge the blog entries. We will select the winner based on two criteria: the creativity of the posts, and the number of comments generated. The more viral the entry goes, the higher the chances of winning.

The winner we select will then follow us to Manchester and have that football match with Wayne Rooney as promised.

But there’s more!

Upon the winner’s return, Tiger Beer will host a private party for him and his 10 teammates. Each of his 10 teammates will also receive an autographed memorabilia from Wayne Rooney.

All these, fully paid for by Tiger Beer!

I think this is the first time a contest so big is launched through the blogging medium in South-East Asia. The best thing is: everyone from the blogger right down to the commentor gets a piece of the prize.

The winning blogger gets to fly with us to Manchester to have a kick-about with Rooney. His 10 friends get to attend a Tiger Beer Private Party hosted by the winner, each receiving a memorabilia signed by Wayne Rooney, and those who comment also get a chance to win autographed merchandise from the Man Utd striker himself.

Here’s how you can be part of this contest:

1) Drop a note to any one of the contestants requesting to be in his/her team of 10. I shall keep you posted on who the selected 50 online influencers are. Heck, I may just opt in to join one of them just for the fun of it!

2) Or post your questions to Wayne Rooney about his Tiger Beer TV commercial on any of the bloggers’ comments box.

Meanwhile, I also have a prize to give away exclusively for kennysia.com readers. Just post your answer to this question in my comment box before 1st October.

“If you can meet Wayne Rooney, what will you say to him?”

Best commenter wins an autographed item by Wayne Rooney of my choosing.

Kinda like good exercise for your face.

Subang Jaya is a housing area where people are down-to-earth and generally live a thrifty lifestyle.

For the longest time, the Subang crowd struggles with the stigma that they are perhaps not as glamorous compared to their counterparts living in Damansara condos or KL area. Back then, it was a common sight to see aunties wearing shorts and slippers, speaking loudly in Cantonese, cruising around Giant supermarkets.

But that was before.

The opening of Empire Shopping Gallery, is a sign that the Subang crowd has actually grown to become... more stylo-milo and upmarket.

Empire Shopping Gallery is a brand new contemporary boutique-style shopping mall located in SS16 section of Subang Jaya.

The mall is located right behind Subang Parade and Wisma Consplant. Unlike the old buildings in its vicinity, the look and feel of Empire is refreshing with contemporary architectural details befitting an upcoming mall the neighbourhood style-makers would soon to call home. Even the skylight ceiling boosts mega style with splashes of red and stylish Chinese dynasty-inspired design for an event recently.

Don’t let the name fool you though. Despite being called “Empire”, the size of the mall itself is quite manageable. It’s large without being overly maze-like and complicated like Berjaya Times Square.

I was at the Grand Opening of Empire Shopping Gallery last Friday. The event was graced by some familiar faces I know in the local entertainment circles.

Former Miss Malaysia Elaine Daly was there.

It’s quite difficult for me to see Elaine in person again after seeing her pose in Singapore FHM like this.

Another former Miss Malaysia, Deborah Henry was there too.

Apparently she took time off from dancing and singing “you can pay your road tax and your car insurance online”.

Rounding up the celebrity presence are Bernie Chan, Atilia, Will Quah and Amber Chia.

Yes, even Amber Chia could not resist bringing her baby bump to the Grand Opening.

To be honest, she looks positively glowing. During the Grand Opening, we were treated to a fashion show by some of the mall’s tenants.

When the child models did their strut down the catwalk, I could see Amber’s face lit up. It’s like she really can’t wait to be a mom.

When introducing his mall, the managing director was upbeat about the prospect.

Apparently, Empire Shopping Gallery is a mixed development for the entire project called Empire Subang. The others are Empire Office Tower, Empire Hotel and Empire SoHo.

The shopping mall itself has already achieved over 90% tenancy, attracting premium lifestyle-brands like Guess, Fitness First Platinum, Ed Hardy, Italiannies, Jaya Grocer and TANGS.

TANGS in Subang? You bet.

Even in its home country of Singapore, TANGS wasn’t built in residential areas. It’s a sign that the Subang crowd is more affluent now compared to ten years ago.

Perhaps in times to come, your stereotypical Subang crowd will no longer look like this.

But more like this.

WAH.

Now I know how to put on mascara.

Much of the Kuching Festival is the same as previous years. Most people come here for the food, but as usual they have a couple of attractions on the side as well.

The trade fair is where you see the whole entire housewife population in Kuching coming in to check out what’s the latest in cooking or cleaning technology. Seriously, the average age of people here is like 50 years old.

Then you have the other end of the scale.

There’s a mini fun-fair filled with 5-year-old ADHD kids bugging their parents to spend RM3 on some stupid game that’s impossible to win - just for that soft toy.

IT’S SO FLUFFYYYYY!

Not wanting to lose out on the crowd, I got ourselves a booth there to promote the fitness centre. Honestly speaking though, the response aren’t all that fantastic.

People coming to the Kuching Festival are not interested in signing up for a fitness membership and getting fit. They are more interested in getting fat.

Compared to us, the food stalls in general are doing very well. All the best food in Kuching are gathered here for the 3 week festival and a lot of them get sold out before the night is over.

Still, there are like 101 different stalls selling Taiwanese sausages and they are all the same. But I think Kuching people don’t like Taiwanese sausages anymore because they are way too small.

Kuching people like Rudy’s German sausages. He got people queuing up every night for his big juicy sausages. And every night without fail he’d sold out because people keep coming for more.

Food stalls that sell slightly different items are also doing very well. Most people won’t think twice about spending RM2 on a slightly different-shaped potato.

One thing that definitely fascinated me about Kuching Festival this year is the... questionable displays they have.

You see, right on the front gate are three monstrous cats who can climb trees. It’s so scary. The cat on the left is PURPLE. And most likely it’s PURPLE because the sponsor of the festival is Xpax (which is also purple).

At the backgate is a kiddy ride that loops around the most hideous-looking dinosaurs ever.

They are so ugly they’ll scare real dinosaurs away into extinction.

Like they say: it is SO bad, it’s good.

Charming as they may be, NOTHING could quite capture the attention of the people like the display of this Western food stall called... The United Steak of Richmond.

The United WHAT? Doesn’t matter.

Hellboy is already rolling in Hell over the blatant misuse of his picture, alongside Captain Davy Jones and Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars on the top of KLCC.

You wonder if they actually put these up to make kids excited, or to scare them away.

She’s not a bad-looking chick and from what I can see she’s quite talented. Good for her.

What irked me was that she’s calling herself a celebrity on her own blog, and yet I have never heard of her. Come on. If you are really a celebrity, then you shouldn’t really have to tell people, right? Much less publicize it all over the blog.

I won’t mention any names, but I do know she’s not the only person out there referring to herself as a “celebrity”.

It seems like in this day and age, we seem to have “celebrities” in everything.

Celebrity bloggers. Celebrity models. Celebrity DJs. Celebrity photographers. Celebrity chefs. Celebrity interior designers. Celebrity Feng Shui masters. Celebrity fitness centres.

Heck, even a celebrity octopus!

How the heck did this come about?

Why are people suddenly so obsessed with the tag “celebrity”?

And how could people be so kiasu until even they introduce themselves as celebrities?

Perhaps I have written so far may raise a few eyebrows. After all, sometimes people do refer to me as “Kenny Sia - celebrity blogger”.

The difference is, I have NEVER EVER sold myself as a “celebrity”. If you were to do a search through the entire kennysia.com archives, you will never see me introducing myself as a “celebrity”. Although i do acknowledge that I have achieved some recognition in blogging, there was never an occasion where I self-proclaimed, “Hi! My name is Kenny, I am a celebrity. Give me fame and money!”

If people do think of me as one, most likely it’s because it’s a tag given to me by the newspapers or magazines, and obviously I cannot control what they write, right?

Nobody deserves the tag “celebrity” unless you are so damn famous that you cannot even walk down the street without an army of bodyguards pushing away the paparazzi snapping your photos.

In Malaysia, that does not really happen. Unless it is Anwar Ibrahim when he goes to court. In fact, none of the local actors, musicians or models I know call themselves “celebrities”. They all know they are successful in what they are doing, but they are always firmly planting their two feet on the ground and remain absolutely humble about it.

Maybe I’m a little traditional, but I think humility should not be sacrificed in a person’s quest for success. Just because you got a little bit successful in what you’re doing does not mean you are a celebrity. Just because you appeared in the media from the time to time does not mean you are a celebrity. Just because a couple of people recognized you on the streets does not make you are a celebrity.

And just because you call yourself a celebrity, most certainly does not make you a celebrity.

It’s nothing serious! But I checked myself into Mt Elizabeth to seek a permanent solution for a curse. A curse that has befallen upon every single man, and their wives/girlfriends, in the entire Sia household: SNORING.

Snoring can be cured. But as part of my treatment, the doctor advised me that I had to do a “sleep study” first.

The results of the “sleep study” will tell my doctor how bad my snoring is, whether or not it is a worse condition called sleep apnoea, and the appropriate steps to take next.

To do the “sleep test”, I have to go to sleep while being hooked up to a machine that measures all the different signals my body emits.

The unfortunate side effect...

Makes me look like Darth Vader! Blardy hell.

No wonder I thought I saw something funny when I passed by a petrol station yesterday.

Paul the Octopus knew!

The biggest thing coming out from World Cup this year was the fact that an eight-legged creature had correctly predicted every single German match since the start of the tournament. Every single day for the past one week, members of my fitness centre were talking about how amazing this "jiu hu" is.

Paul the Octopus was so accurate in its prediction that it even successfully predicted German's loss to underdog Serbia, and Spain, and impossible win over Argentina.

Apparently, this wasn't the first time he was noticed.

Back when not many people knew about him, Paul The Octopus correctly predicted 80% of the matches during the 2008 Euro Cup Finals.

Before this, Paul The Octopus had also made some lesser-known predictions.

Did you know Paul The Octopus correctly predicted that Brazil would host the World Cup in 2014?

He also predicted yesterday's 4D results.

And in 2008, he predicted that Barison Nasional would triumph over Pakatan Rakyat in the Elections.

And that Najib would eventually become our new Prime Minister.

What a smart octopus.

You see, a lot of Malaysians go to Bali and stay in hotels.

Not because hotels are nice. It’s because we are so used to it, we don’t look out for other accommodation options.

There’s nothing wrong with hotels. The thing is, hotels can be found everywhere else in the world. After a while, they are just the boring same ol’ same ol’.

Seriously, who wants same ol’ same ol’ when you’re in Bali?

In Bali, the thing to do is to stay in a private villa.

This makes sense especially when you’re travelling with a group of six or more. Instead of booking 3 separate hotel rooms, it’s so much better to book a 3-bedroom private villa, and have the whole entire place to yourself!

For a wonderful 2 days, everything you see in these pictures belonged to us!

The tables, the lounge decks, the chairs, THE POOL!

Everything!

It was like something straight up of an MTV rap star’s videos. We were in our own paradise and we didn’t have to share it with strangers we don’t know.

Not only that, we had our own butler, our own security guard and chef to cook for us whenever we felt hungry.

That means you can play the music as loud as legally allowed, swim in the pool naked, throw your own Playboy Mansion party if you wanna (but must BYO Playboy bunnies lah).

Can you swim naked in a hotel?

No you can’t.

Unless you don’t mind holidaying in Bali for a very long time in jail.

In Bali, there are literally hundreds of private villas in different shapes and sizes  throughout the island.

Almost all of them are extremely spacious, tastefully designed and amazingly well-equipped – all ready to rent alongside the services of an entire team of villa staff.

Because Bali is such a popular holiday spot, a lot of people invest their own private villas here on the island. During most parts of the year when they are not around, these villas are rented out to holidaymakers.

The villa we stayed at - Villa Jajaliluna, is one such private villa.

Villa Jajaliluna is owned by an Australian family. It is a quiet sanctuary hidden inside a narrow alley, just off the main street of Seminyak.

The location is what made this villa such a winner. While most villas are located in the middle of nowhere, this one is literally just around the corner from KuDeTa bar, which means it is walking distances to all the conveniences.

The villa compound is ridiculously HUGE.

As soon as we enter, we were greeted by this large T-shaped swimming pool flanked by 3 separate pavilions.

To the left is a dining pavilion and a lounge area to chill at.

To the right is a two-storey building with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and 2 separate lounging area.

There were soooo much space to move around/play hide-and-seek/do cartwheels in.

We couldn’t believe we had so much space. It’s mindboggling.

So mindboggling that I saw Taka hugging a beach ball, drifting aimlessly in the pool.

I think he was still in awe.

My room alone have a grand total of two standing showers and one outdoor bathtub.

I didn’t have the chance to use the outdoor bathtub, but I let the girls have fun in it. They enjoyed bathing under the stars.

I had to resist the urge not to peek. I was scared they might smack me over the head, THEN I’ll be seeing stars.

But the good looks of the villa is just one thing. The fantastic staff is what made staying here all the difference.

Just about anything you want them to do, they’d do it willingly.

During our stay, we had our clothes cleaned, our massages arranged and our private chef cooking us a FEAST from the groceries he bought for us from the markets.

It was the very definition of bliss. We were living like kings.

Why go all the way to Ubud to have Babi Guling when our private chef can make it fresh from our kitchen?

Villa Jajaliluna is just one of the many, many private villas in Bali available for rent by BHM Villas. It is great for family holidays, company trips and even buck/hen nights.

At US$825 a night, it seems a little expensive at first, but when shared among 10 people, that works out about the same as staying in 5-star hotels – except we get to have EVERYTHING.

Now you know why I go to Bali every single year.

The crew was in Kuching to film a travel show called Fun Asia, and I was there to be their tour guide.

Apparently, it is a very popular show broadcasted on Discovery Travel & Living. The biggest reason people watch the show is because of this fun-loving girl called Janet Hsieh.

Having never watched the show before, I must admit that I had no idea how big she is - until random people approached her during our shoot to request her photographs.

But she is very popular alright, and rightfully so.

I had such a great time filming with them that it didn’t even felt like work at all. Janet is the most bubbly and down-to-Earth TV personalities I have ever met.

One incident shall forever stick up in my mind.

Before she came to Kuching, Janet caught a bad case of stomach pain and kept having to go to the toilets. But while we were watching the Japan-Paraguay match, she refused to miss a single minute of it.

She didn’t know the match would drag on for so long that she ended up clutching her stomach like this for nearly 3 hours

Janet is born in Texas, has a degree from MIT, speaks 5 different languages, possesses a black belt in Taekwondo, and most recently even appeared in a music video of Wang LeeHom.

One thing I never expected from her.

She was once worked as... A CIRCUS CLOWN.

True story!

As my eyes find their way to the TV, the stupidest one-liners find their way into my head as well.

For those who don’t follow me on Twitter, here is a compilation of some of my (not-so) proud moments during the World Cup.

On the loud and annoying vuvuzelas:

What's that trumpet thing they blow at World Cup matches? Samyvellu?

On Greece’s 0-2 loss to South Korea:

Greece's football team is going down as fast as their economy.

On England’s disastrous performance against underdog Algeria:

I think the Algerians green uniform is designed to blend into the football field. That's why England cannot see them.

On the card-happy referee of the Germany-Serbia match:

This referee at the Germany vs Serbia match produces more cards than a casino.

On Argentinean coach Maradona:

Everytime I see Diego Maradona, I feel like eating Mister Potato.

On Spain’s unexpected downfall against Switzerland:

That'll teach women that good looks does not necessarily equal good football skills. GHANA to win World Cup!

On the guy in white:

There's a guy on the New Zealand team that looks like Will Ferrell.

On a unique name of a player from Honduras:

There's a player in Honduras called "WELCOME". I wonder if there's also a player called "THANK YOU COME AGAIN".

On the interesting name of a Portugese player.

There's a Portugese player called "DUDA". Everybody sing a song. Duda. Duda.

On North Korea’s (World #105) single goal against Brazil (World #1):

Heard Kim Jong Il got stiff punishment for North Korea if they didn't score vs Brazil. Like subjecting them to 1 month of Justin Bieber.

On Harry Kewell of Australia (the team I support) getting sent off against Ghana:

Angry with the results of tonight's match. Ghana-sai.

On Australia’s World Cup exit:

Australians were so upset about their exit from World Cup that they got themselves a new Prime Minister.

On the Official 2010 FIFA World Cup theme song by Shakira:

"Waka Waka Eh Eh".

In Hokkien that means "my leg my leg, short short."

There’s a lot of reasons why Bali is the place I go to do my retreat every year: cheap flights, friendly people, amazingly good food. The biggest attraction for me is the fact that Bali is the only place I know where the range of accommodation options is virtually limitless.

In Bali, you can do home stays for RM15 a night, or rent a luxurious multi-bedroom private villas with your own swimming pool, chef and butler.

I write this blog entry especially for those who had partied through Kuta, done Bali on the cheap before, and are now returning to look for something a bit more.

Although luxury in Bali does come with a hefty price tag, it is not completely out of reach for most people. On average, a very well-serviced, luxurious high-end hotel here would cost around USD200 (RM650) per person per night.

But I think about it this way. Instead of flying to Paris for a supposed romantic holiday then stuffing myself inside a cramped 3-star shoebox hotel, I’d rather fly to Bali, splurge on a beach-front suite and be treated like a king.

Truth is, there not many places in the world that gives as good a bang for buck as the hotels and villas in The Island of Gods. During my most recent trip to Bali  2 weeks ago, I had the privilege of being hosted at some of the most beautiful hotels I have ever experienced personally.

The first was Ubud Hanging Gardens.

If I were a girl and my boyfriend wants to propose to me, this is the place I’d want him to do it. Otherwise, not only would I not accept his proposal, I’ll probably throw the ring back at my boyfriend, scream “YOU THINK I SO CHEAP AH!?” before hurrily taking off and leaving him alone in the dark.

But I digress.

Ubud Hanging Gardens is an absolutely fucking stunning hotel.

Pardon my language, but there’s just no other way to describe it. The road heading towards the resort was narrow, bumpy and ridiculously difficult to find. I spent 4 hours circling the entire Bali island in my rental car and cannot find it. In the end we gave up and requested for hotel pickup.

But once we arrived, it was like clouds have parted and we arrived heaven on Earth.

Words cannot do it any justice.

Ubud Hanging Gardens is one of two Balinese resorts by luxury hotel group Orient Express. It’s called “hanging” because when we looked out into the distance from our room, we literally felt like we were hanging in the air. We were so high up that all we could see were the tops of the trees below.

The view here gotta be seen to be believed.

Despite what its name suggest, the resort is not actually located inside the intensely crowded and touristy Ubud town, but quietly tucked away on top of the hill in the middle of the forest, about 30 minutes away. There was literally nothing at all within the vicinity of the resort.

What they offer instead, is the ultimate in serenity and luxury.

The villa units themselves aren’t particularly huge, but they are well-designed to take advantage of the breathtaking surrounding views, and make us feel as close to nature as possible.

Each unit is located on the hill slope. So instead of taking the lift from the lobby, we have to go to our rooms using this cute little funicular train.

It was the best place in Bali to recharge and rejuvenate. On top of it all they got free internet access, outdoor bathtub and my favourite – the heated infinity private pool.

I LOVE the private pool!

All of them are built in such a way to resemble Bali’s cascading rice paddy fields. It was very relaxing and very romantic.

But the private pool wasn’t the best thing about Ubud Hanging Gardens.

Just outside the restaurant, overlooking the forest, is the resort’s most jaw-dropping feature: the double-storey freeform infinity pool.

It was breathtakingly AMAZING.

Imagine being able to swim right up towards the edge of the pool and do this.

It was pure magic. This is the closest thing to swimming above the skies.

You can see in the picture that there’s a Balinese temple perched on top of the hill in the distance. At night, they light up the temple so it looks as if it was floating in the air.

Overlooking the edge of the infinity pool. Don’t worry, I won’t jump.

After our stay at the Ubud Hanging Gardens, we returned to Seminyak where all the restaurants, shops and parties are located. This time round, we stayed at another equally stunning hotel called Anantara Seminyak.

This hotel is not located high on the hill nor in the middle of a dense forest.

I came to Anantara Seminyak for jaw-dropping ocean views like these.

It’s less “green”, more “gold”. In fact, there’s a million-dollar view right from the balcony of every beach-facing Ocean Suite. I thought sunset at Ku De Ta was amazing. I obviously ain’t seen nothing yet.

Anantara Seminyak is targeted towards honeymooners and those seeking for a stylish romantic getaway.

This is not where you’d come if you want some quiet “alone time” in the forest to meditate. For that, stick to Ubud.

If you wanna impress a date, this is perfect.

Start the evening with a romantic candle-light dinner by the beach.

As night falls and temperature drops, take her in to your hotel suite for something a little bit more cozy.

She will be impressed as soon as she opened the door.

First, she sees a nice walk-in wardrobe.

Further down the marble corridor, she sees a spacious bathroom area, complete with aromatherapy soaps, a Jacuzzi bathtub and a rainshower with three different options for massage.

You can’t help but to grin...

...because you know the bathroom is see-through.

Next, THE BEDROOM (oh yeah, baby).

The bed is built-in, oversized, sexy and extremely comfortable.

She’s in awe. She knows she wanna spend the night here.

So you put on some music on the Bose Sound System.

Hopefully something more Barry White instead of Owl City.

And the rest... is up to your imagination. Heh.

The suites at Anantara Seminyak is my idea of the ultimate bachelor pad.

It’s not exactly where I’d bring my mother to, because let’s face it, who wants to see their mother in the see-through bathroom?

The suites at Anantara may not have their own private pool, but who needs one when you can sit in the outdoor jacuzzi soaking in the ocean view?

A night’s stay here cost USD450 so it’s really for those who have a bit more in their pockets.

Without spending that much to sleep a night at Anantara, it’s still possible also to enjoy the famous sunset over Seminyak at their stylish rooftop lounge. Lots of jet-setting, mojito-sipping, good-looking people to see here.

You can’t help but to be one of them.

Besides, there’s nothing quite like sitting on a plush daybed, sipping designer cocktail, listening to cool chill out music playing in the background while watching the sky changes colour as the sun goes down.

It’s my third trip to Bali, and still it ranks as my favourite holiday destination in the world.

Yea, it’s true that Bali can be done very cheaply. A lot of first timers stay in Kuta because it is cheap. But Kuta is possibly the worst possible place to stay in Bali.

The problem with Kuta is that the dodgy nightclubs, the drunken Australians, the overpriced souvenir shops, the traffic jam and the drug pushers all ended up making me more stressed than I was before I left for holidays.

I go to Bali to recharge my batteries and to forget about work for a while. Places like Ubud and Seminyak did the trick for me.

Last year, I stayed in this hotel in Kuta. We arrived so late that the reception counter was closed. In the end, the person checking us in was actually the hotel’s security guards.

These two muscular guys were not just the hotel’s security guard and receptionist, they were also the hotel’s housekeeper.

When we called the reception and asked to put in an extra bed for us, guess who came to our rescue?

Yes, the same two security guards.

Made my Bali holiday looked like an episode of CSI.