63 Comments On Signs The Wedding Dinner You're Attending Is Shit
Are you sure you can practise the wedding of your dreams in Malaysia? :P That's a challenge, to break the tradition. Oh yeah, you forgot the mention, to start the dinner at the time mentioned sharp. :D
Posted by: Jason at 24 March 2005 3:08 AM
that's why my mother always told me....when I get married, just go straight on a honeymoon. don't need to cater a wedding dinner.....
by the way, those shoes with wheel are call "Heelys"
Posted by: KLJS at 24 March 2005 4:14 AM
hahahaha u just described every chinese wedding that ever took place in malaysia. heelys are the world's worst invention. now not only do kids run and scream all over the place, they do it faster with the stupid shoes now.
Posted by: aud at 24 March 2005 8:26 AM
I have attended the same kind of wedding but it was worst cause the 'Ah Peks' just couldn't stop singing. I think majority of the 'Ah Peks' who turned up actually take turns to sing. Oh...how i hate it and they think they are good!! But i think this kind of event only happen in restaurants and not in hotels :). By the way, are you sure you are going to invite 'all' your contacts from your friendster account??? Unless you know all of them very well, else your ceremony will end up like the one you mentioned here...inviting people you have never met before.
Posted by: meigie at 24 March 2005 8:30 AM
*muahahaha i am on your frenster list* well to make it grand the restaurant should've used yellow lights instead. and btw why you so hoxim wanna help that old man.. maybe the only thing he can eat is porridge :P
Posted by: MunKit at 24 March 2005 9:43 AM
ermmm..for me,I dont see nothing wrong with the wedding dinner...they r all trying to be happy i guess. i mean its normal to have a karaoke session in the middle of the dinner.. maybe its the tradition n we r used to it..well, maybe different ppl, different view.. :)
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 24 March 2005 9:48 AM
Jason, if I had the choice (and money) I would do a fusion between a traditional wedding that my parents want and a modern wedding that I want. I don't mind some parts, like the tea ceremony where newlyweds serve tea to the elderlies to get angpow. But I just don't like the idea of a chinese restaurant, and I don't like the idea of a karaoke. :)
kljs, your mom's good. Save you money *and* your ears!
Audrey, hahahahaa! My sentiments *exactly*! Dammit I hate hate hate those shoes. How can some idiot come up with such a stupid concept and sell so much of it?! Why didn't I think of it in the first place?
meigie, the karaoke singing spoilt my evening lah. As soon as the ahpek on stage opened his mouth, everyone on my table stopped eating and looked at each other - speechless but we know exactly what we are all thinking. :) I'd rather they play some Jay Chou MTVs than to have some karaoke singing, seriously. And the fact that the ahpeks repeatedly go back up on stage sort of stealed the limelight from the main stars of the night, and that's the newlyweds. Everyone went home traumatised instead of feeling happy for the couple. Haha! (btw, my friendster is strictly friends only. So no probs there. :))
MunKit, courtesy mahhh...!
Anonymous, of course lah... its ok if you are the bride or groom and a karaoke session involving people twice your age is exactly what you want. *If* that's exactly what a 20-something newlywed want. ;)
Posted by: Kenny Sia at 24 March 2005 10:39 AM
my god. my god. the poor wedding is in tatters. the poor 20 something bride and groom.
let me digress, recently an old schoolmate had a shotgun marriage and held the dinner at a run down shopping mall(heard of Amcorp Mall?). Damn kesian wei. She was this posh girl..and now a wedding dinner in Amcorp mall.
sigh. oh right. chinese dinners.
argh!! heelys!! ohmigod. those stuff should be burnt(child optional).
karaoke? I've never been to a wedding with karaoke. 'Cept for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. but that's because they are old people yea?
=) kenny, make sure you stand up for your rights when someone proposes for a karaoke machine ok!! ka yau!
Posted by: Jayelle at 24 March 2005 1:57 PM
Lolz. Been to a few wedding ceremonies. Even those held in hotels have karaoke machines :(
Traditional wedding ceremonies are dreads. Hate eating with people whom I don't know and Have to be damn polite.
Those "heelys" suck. Feel like making the kids fall sometimes. Haha..
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 24 March 2005 2:43 PM
There are Heelys for adults too....... ;)
Posted by: KLJS at 24 March 2005 3:07 PM
Now this is why i refuse to go back to malaysia.. ;)
Posted by: Rodney at 24 March 2005 4:14 PM
i fuckin hate those shoes!!!! i've bumped kids over, then pointed and laughed when they fell down. and yeah...that typa wedding is fuckin torture. i feel!
Posted by: vanessa at 24 March 2005 8:09 PM
i fuckin hate those shoes!!!! i've bumped kids over then pointed and laughed when they fell down. i feel its justified.
and yeah...that typa wedding is fuckin torture. i feel!
Posted by: vanessa at 24 March 2005 8:15 PM
So did you get to eat the chicken or not?
That old man must be very 'segan' with you, young handsome(????) kid just got back from Australia, of course he wants u to eat first.
But I think it's sweet. It shows that Malaysians do have some form of respect between old and young. It's usually the old who eats first but for that old man you deserve to have the chicken before him.
I'm not on Kenny's friendster list but I would be really happy if some of the visitors here would comment on Kennysia's wedding. Let's see if he will eat his own words ya!
Posted by: kampung gal at 24 March 2005 8:51 PM
HOHO. KILL JOY! Lol. But yes i do understand the awkwardness of waiting for someone to make the 'firt move' when a dish comes, and the horrid karaoke singing - especially if you're sitting right next to the speakers. But i DO LOVEEEE to pop those cologne hand towels! SO FUN LAH. you think easy ah? takes TECHNIQUE i tell you.
AND THOSE ROLLER SHOES. MAN. Every time i see some kid rolling by on those in shopping malls here, i have this great unholy urge to shove them flat on their face. Parents never teach them ah!
Posted by: kimm at 24 March 2005 11:52 PM
No karaoke, period.
Yknow, those kids with roller shoes, I've lost count of how many I've tripped up in malls. As they're about to whiz past you, quickly lift your arm chin level and point. Pretend to be interested in whatever display is in the general direction.
Try not to point too enthusiastically at lingerie.
Posted by: Lainie at 25 March 2005 12:25 AM
ArgHhhh...i hate the roller shoes ! It's the worst designed shoes on earth...
And you're so right about the Typical Chinese Wedding ......
Posted by: Carol at 25 March 2005 1:18 AM
What the fuck. I never know got shoes like that one... lucky I only in Malaysia for two weeks a year
Posted by: Jon Choo at 25 March 2005 11:46 AM
wah never knew u hate malaysian wedding. err ill try to remmeber how much u hate it and invite u for my reception only. heheeeeeeee =p
then again its true how in malaysian weddings, half of the people invited are unknown to both the bride and groom. hmm
Posted by: chrissie at 25 March 2005 11:59 AM
On the day of Kenny's 'wedding'
'I do, she do' *kiss* toss flower..okay taxi!!
hehe =P
Posted by: Reta at 25 March 2005 7:49 PM
hahaha Kenny Mate, we all know they have them weddings just so the parents get more "face" hahaha how stupid is it though? I'm sure when you have your wedding it's gonna be mad, and if there's any kids with Heelys and they fall, not only will you laugh at them, I reckon all your guests will hahaha they think they're so cool (the kids with the heelys) but I swear, those shoes are just so ridiculous! (I'm not a fan either). Finally -- DEATH TO THE KARAOKE MACHINE!!!
Posted by: Bek at 25 March 2005 9:04 PM
Mannnn is it nice to be back or what! :) Holy shit, my inbox is swamped.
Jayelle, eh I just had a brilliant idea! If anyone is gonna propose to me a chinese wedding dinner with karaoke, I'm just gonna ask some actor and actress to pretend to be me and my bride for a day. After all, since half the people there never met me and couldn't care less about me, they wouldn't noticed anyway. They can just torture themselves with their horrible singing!
Anonymous, whoever came up with the idea of a karaoke machine on a wedding dinner ought to be slapped. With a microphone.
kljs, are there? hahaa! Sounds like I need to do a review on it some day if I can find it.
Rod, why not? You can always have an Indian wedding instead! I'm sure they don't have karaoke machines in an Indian wedding!
vanessa, I think that is very well justified indeed! You ought to be commended for doing a great service to the preservation of sanity of all humankind. Hey, don't your two younger siblings wear those things?
kampung gal, why would the old man be 'segan' with a young handsome man like me?! Mannnnnn that better not be true, or I'll be wearing double underwear next time I'm around him!
kimm, I dunno... I just bite a hole with the wrapper and open it. Somehow mine always 'lau hong' instead of letting off a loud pop when I tried to do that.
Carol, they are designed to annoy.
Jon, lucky you still speak manglish although you're in malaysia only 2 weeks a year. boleh!
chrissie, I don't mind malaysian weddings lah! Really, as long as I personally know everyone invited, as long as the kids in attendance behave, and as long as the focus is on ME and not some karaoke singers.
Reta, skip the whole dinner part? SOUNDS GOOD! Save the money, save the ears from the relentless beating from the karaoke singers.
Bek, if I had the choice/money my wedding would be held outdoors on the lawn (so no heelys can scoot on there), with a stage, the Black Eyed Peas would be jamming live and the whole ceremony would evolve into a foam party. But I'm just dreaming. :)
Lainie, "Try not to point too enthusiastically at lingerie." HEH! Sounds like a plan to exact revenge!
Posted by: Kenny Sia at 25 March 2005 10:39 PM
hey dude, very interesting sarcastic writting format, enjoyed it. As for you wedding, go to Las Vegas for the drive thru weding, you don't even have to get our of the car.
Hey Kuching got bahcelor/bachelorettee parties or not huh?
Posted by: e at 25 March 2005 11:33 PM
Eh, younger kuchingians should start using wedding planner. On invitation card, should stated: Formal dining, formal anttire, RSVP, no children... then they will feel woooo classy.. so all those thing that you hate... can be avoid.
Posted by: FI at 26 March 2005 1:31 AM
Bastard... :P
Posted by: Rodney at 26 March 2005 3:08 AM
One week more than enough to remind people of Manglish...even reading this excellent blog keeps me in touch with Malaysian culture.
Posted by: Jon Choo at 26 March 2005 7:59 AM
There are heelys for adults.
If you happened to watch the TVB hit series Survivor's Law. Raymond Lam's character in the series wears a heelys in the series. At the end of the series, all 4 main characters in the series wore a heelys. :)
Posted by: KLJS at 26 March 2005 10:48 AM
Weiiii.... why you think like that one...
What I meant was that old man *respect* you, not expecting to get in your pants over a piece of chicken. Aiyooo!!!!
LOL
Posted by: kampung gal at 26 March 2005 9:18 PM
lolz!! We've allllll been through what you just been through~ XD Chinese Weddings are all like that.. ehehehe. I think the bride and the bridegroom shall make another simple wedding ceremony with their close friends la.
Every since I was a kid, I hate chinese wedding dinner. Obviously, i know none of the relatives.. just play my part. go there. sit. wait. eat. yam seng. eat. sit. wait. wait. wait. balik. = =
Posted by: erikachen at 03 April 2005 2:22 PM
stupid idiot!!!!
wedding dinner is indead organised for the parents. you can organize your own wedding dinner for your kids in future. that time nobody can say anything even if u wanna origanize naked party there. do your own free show.. what ever.
Posted by: daruma at 03 April 2005 3:05 PM
agree with daruma..
damn stupid.
Posted by: young man at 03 April 2005 3:20 PM
there are even worst wedding.
there is once that i attend my cousin sister's wedding at some remote town in pahang.it's so remote that the restorant is not big enough for the wedding and it's held in a town hall.
IT's have all the above plus HOT and flies.
and 1 more thing,i dun think i saw the newly-weds
suggestion:just do a garden wedding + food n u dun need a dinner anymore.
Posted by: fabian at 03 April 2005 5:19 PM
don't u know the word respect?
i m sure ur parent's wedding last time is same like tis...
n i can c u not respect to eldest ok....kidz
i m damn hate tis kind of fucking ppl...
Posted by: fuck u at 03 April 2005 5:39 PM
huhuhu........even though i don't know you Kenny (happen to bump into this site from some place and having typekey account) i really do agree with you on those nonsensical weddings.
i've been to weddings where the place was cramped, balloons were tied on every chair (basket the kids were like on some game show) - it wasn't pleasant.
damn, sometimes you just wish those parents teach their kids some manners.
and about Malaysia? you'd be surprise how they pick up and many times "abuse" the latest trends.
and regarding "fuck u"'s & daruma comments -
i'd say this : this is the wedding of the couple : the people who deserve the utmost respect will be the couple. you can't just barge in and make do nonsense just because you're elder, that's just plain unethical and totally rude.
another thing is TIME issue. if the couple stated 7pm on the invitation, get your asses there on time. the least you could do is respect the couple on their wedding dinner.
again a wedding dinner is FOR THE COUPLE. that's why it's called WEDDING dinner. it was never for parents IMO, even though parents are always the esteemed guests.
Posted by: briancyc at 04 April 2005 11:21 AM
hmmm... nice entry... eventhough i dun really know u... but i think it makes alotta sense... a nice dinner party at ur backyard wif families(only siblings and parents) from both the groom and the bride is just nice...
ps: i think "fuck u" is a nerd...
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 04 April 2005 2:40 PM
I dont like to follow those traditional wedding dinner as well....but if your elders want you to have that during your wedding....will you respect them and follow what they want?
lucky that this doesn't happen to me.
Posted by: hunchgun at 06 April 2005 8:49 AM
totally avoid those weddings.. or find the tiger lady... EARLY... haha
Posted by: demoncleaner at 11 April 2005 2:21 AM
Why not we break the cycle, by making the wedding accessible for all the races and religion, held at halal restaurant. only halal food provided and most importantly, no alcohols. god, i hate drunkards.
Posted by: Jeffrey at 12 April 2005 2:42 AM
U r rite about the traditional wedding ...but come on my fren ...give a bit of respect to the elder generation mar! i mean the chicken hahaaa..
Posted by: Lock at 12 April 2005 7:36 AM
The reason why the wedding dinner is catered to the taste of the parents of the newly weds is because the parents paid for the wedding expenses.
Those who pay, speak loudest. So the newly weds will just have to keep quiet and bear with it for one day.
You don't get married every day, right? Give your parents a break, you can organise a simple get together with your close friends in a much cosy setting thereafter.
With regards to the chicken incident, just put the chicken on the elder's plate and help yourself to another piece. Eat it up and he will feel happy that you are enjoying the food, yet you thought of him by giving him one piece. Settled.
Posted by: civil servant at 05 May 2005 11:34 AM
Wah... Kenny Sia... Where are you from??? It's only now that you know all these things? Wahlau eh! Alrighty then. At least you've learnt your lesson. I seriously suggest that you fly back to Singapore or where ever perfect place you're from and STAY there, OR u'll never be a happy man ;)
Posted by: Xavier at 13 July 2005 4:27 PM
Whoopsy daiseys! Now dat I know u're from Kuching... Wahlau eh! Even the more damn shocked! In Kuching so long... dunno these things? Wahlau eh... Dude, u shud seriously consider coming out of yer little diddly shell more often ler... ;)
Posted by: Xavier at 13 July 2005 4:35 PM
while i enjoy the whole post - well, i had a great laugh at it....i strongly disagree with your perception of the wedding dinner not being up to standard, not classy...as a malaysian, as a kuchingyian,my whole picture of a chinese wedding is almost always perfect....not in the sense of having nice food, and perfect protocols...it's because it's truly unique to us. what's so hard with standing up for a toss? as for the wet 'pop' towel, we liked it as kids...and i guess anyone from kuching recognize that restaurant....its location and all...it's a restaurant, not a five star hotel...so dont expect a formal, classsy dinner =))
Posted by: not too chinese at 07 March 2006 9:44 PM
hah.....so what difference would it make....dinner or no dinner?? My parents only registered their marriage and they are still happily married. You haf wedding dinner n all n 2 years later the couple decide to divorce oso no use wht....
I myself haf no plans to haf a wedding dinner n my bf agrees on this too. Better spend d money on our honeymoon instead of torturing ourselves there.
Posted by: panda at 08 March 2006 12:30 AM
OMG!!.. "Wrinkly old asses"..."WRINKLY OLD ASSES"???!!! I'm in tears.......{D
oh, my stomach hurts....... I'm gonna read it again!
Posted by: Elaine at 27 March 2006 4:26 AM
Correction,..."Wrinkly ONE NIGHT STAND ass"...."dinosaurs"....oh..now i'm just rolling lmao,....... and it ain't too wrinkly, either!!
Posted by: Elaine at 27 March 2006 4:49 AM
i also wan to join can or not ???
Posted by: benjamin and yus at 30 June 2006 2:55 PM
they're not that bad. i've attended so many weddings and birthdays in my life so i pretty get used to them already. still disliked the yamseng part though.
Posted by: edwin at 08 August 2006 9:32 PM
hahah...i really like the conditions u set for u wedding...its amusing and rational of course i diasagree the part about the kids with the rollers...hahaha..
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 22 August 2006 2:42 AM
You are just probably jealous because you can't heely . LOL :D
Posted by: Heelys at 08 September 2006 5:47 AM
Hi,
This is Jack Ng. I happened to read your blog introduced by my friend. Just to clarify few things on the 'wedding dinner' you attended.
I think 100 years ago,maybe earlier, when a couple wanna stay together forever,they get married. But back then,there is no registration needed. So how do they 'formally' get married? Wedding ceremony is not enough as not many people know this 'lady' is attached to someone and is no longer 'available to others'. Therefore, a married couple have to invite their friends,relatives,and more to inform them on their marriage. [Most of them are from poor families] Therefore, to hold a wedding is very difficult but someone smart came out the idea of giving ANGPAU. (This is not the main issue anyway)..The main point is a couple get married and would like to inform their friends,relatives,and more that they are married through wedding dinner. That is the reason they invite so many people to the wedding dinner.
WEll, i believe not only MALAYSIAN CHINESE is holding to this tradisional virtues,there are singporeans and also other chinese from other countries are still very concern on this tradisional virtues.
As for the karaoke session, i do agree with you that it is very annoying. However,you may want to contribute some input on HOW TO MAKE A WEDDING DINNER NOT SO BORING?
For the AH PEk you mentioned, i think you are just 'too polite'. You don't have to ask him to CHIAK although he is an elder. What i mean here is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Just eat the food.you don't know him anyway.
Conclusion
This is a revolution of a tradisional wedding dinner ( heelys and karaoke ). Admit it,changes takes place every seconds!
You can choose not to hold a wedding dinner and just sending FOR YOUR INFORMATION CARD!
i apologize if any of the words or sentence used here is annoying and offensive.
i can be reached at kaahock@yahoo.com
Thanks
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 29 September 2006 9:46 AM
Posted by: Adulthm at 16 November 2006 6:41 PM
Posted by: Adultzt at 17 November 2006 3:29 PM
this guy who commented up there is stupid, someone end his misery
Posted by: aduh at 18 November 2006 7:40 PM
oh ... kenysia... this is so funny I can't stop laughing. I'm planning my own wedding and I'm a simple woman but I shall keep in mind your "suggestions". cheers mate... and I think my fiance will laugh his ass off too... but I don't think I would serve my beer buddies shandy... I would have no friends after I'm married ;)
Posted by: chaly koh at 07 December 2006 6:31 AM
u really ah kenny, i gigle-gigle alone in front of my pc in the office whole afternoon .. ur blog has made me smile, my fellow collegues wonder what i am at.. hei, friendster me, i want to be the part in your dream wedding.. u know standing yum cha next to you!!
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 08 January 2007 4:39 PM
I am still a kid but I dun use Heelys :) Anyway, my aunties sing during wedding dinners but I clap all the same even tho they sook a bit (hehe, can't say the word if my aunt is reading this) I clap for the hongbao! HEHEHE. It's great to be not married, ain't it?
Posted by: ahem at 08 January 2007 5:13 PM
exact sentiments Kenny! LMAO! I like the part whereby u described the old man's jiak jiak jiak... its sooo truE! Whahaahha!
Posted by: Missy Lestat at 13 January 2007 10:41 AM
how come tis people here very disrespectful 1.so rude saying foul languages
Posted by: steffi at 02 May 2007 1:49 PM
Only stupid ppl would call others stupid! :)
Posted by: Jack NG at 29 June 2007 8:58 PM
Typical Chinese weddings are crap.
Posted by: The Horny Bitch at 27 November 2007 9:33 AM
spread the 9 listed rules everywhere.
it shall work.
at least i'm takin it. ^ ^
Posted by: chell at 17 May 2008 9:31 PM
I agree that the traditional chinese wedding dinner at restaurent is boring & tiresome. Just sit.. eat.. wait... :S
Maybe a buffet lunch outdoor with an invited singer, say Lindsay Lohan will be splendid.
But who can break the tradition???? :(
Posted by: Ann at 29 June 2008 3:22 PM