Kenny!! Keep up your good work, great blogger!!

Remind yourself how you are in love with him at the first place. Watch romantic movies together and do romantic things that deserved to be remembered.

Magnify lovely things and minimize faults..

It's hard, but it's worth to learn.

3rd =)

Nothing last forever, esp in a relationships. learnt to be tolerant, and u will stretch a little further tho...

As I have said in nicole's comment. I have been looking forward to this post since the campaign with HUGO started. Yes I agree with you kenny. Being in a relationship is like doing garderning. Those plants wont look nice and beautiful if you dont put in effort to take care of them, water them, put them in the sun, and nurture them. Once in a while you also have to trim the plant so that it continue to look attractive. This is the same when it comes to being in a relationship.

For me, love is just a boring game. A game where you lie and at the same time enjoy being cheated.

Have you ever notice that the Chinese character AI (love)? It consists another character SING (heart) in it. If the SING is no longer there, AI will eventually becomes SHOU which means suffer... That's what most of our parents are suffering now.....

So guys and girls out there, don't simply give away your "AI" so cheaply if you have got no "SING" to mantain it.

I love your blog! Keep up the goood work okay? =)

That's why Megatron travel through the universe looking for ALL SPARK, dude!

A healthy relationship can only happen if both are clean and honest.

I keep the sparks alive by having a healthy conversation with my partner every now and then. Be it on the dinner table, in bed before we go to sleep, in the Cafe` having a flat white each even when we are shopping together.

Being sensitive to your surroundings and your natural reaction plays a big part too. You have to know to act the right way at the right time. If you have a problem with your partner spending too much of his/her own personal time that you think it is ridiculous, talk about it.

On the other hand, he/she should take the initiative to actually assess himself/herself what is happening and why is it happening and what should happen from then on.

But at the end of the day, it all boils down to your soul, if you are really meant to be together. If you do, either of you would take whatever it takes to keep the relationship going, by means of giving up on certain unfavoured habits, or putting in more efforts to make things better.

If you don't find the necessity to improve the situations, clearly something is not right, and there is a gap in the relationship where it cannot be filled regardless. Then you have yet to find your perfect match.

Also, positive living is the healthiest form of any relationship. The maturity of your social life would see a key in a healthy relationship.

To the guys who stays clear from buds night out, bar, smoking, gambling, your women will feel more secured in the relationship.

Likewise to ladies.

If both can lead a healthy lifestyle, like doing things together, exercising together, cooking together, going for holidays together, shopping together, that is how you get the fire lit.

1) Start out early in the day sending your loved one a loving, hot e-mail or text message while they are at work. Send hot e-mails back and forth all day then meet for a romantic candlelit dinner.

2) My boyfriend is what some may call Internet addicted!! Because I know how much he enjoys being online for research or just for fun, I created a website just for us to share stuff, post a note to each other or play an online game. I really enjoy when I can go on there during the day and find a note telling me how much he values and loves me. (Suitable for long distance couples)

3) My boyfriend was having a rough day at work, that night, he slept early without talking to me. In the morning when I woke up, (he leaves for work before me and I am usually still sleeping) I went to the fridge to grab some juice. There was a little note stuck to the fridge with magnets, that read, "I just wanted to say I love you and to remind you to smile today. I will make up for lost time. I love you." It's small but it was thoughtful and I always think of the little things he does to make our love stronger.

4) Whenever I can, I try to make my boyfriend laugh. There is nothing better then seeing that beautiful smile on his face and his eyes light up when he laughs. I make him laugh by doing something sweet for him. For example, I will look deeply into his eyes and start singing, 'You are my sunshine…' he gets all embarrassed and starts giggling, but I know he loves it. And it’s true; he really is my sunshine!

5) The most flattering thing we can do is to give our undivided attention. Communication with each other is very important but lending your ear to your loved one is also important, share problems together and try to solve it, this will create a stronger bond between the couple.

Yes, i agree. No matter it is the girl or the guy, they tends to take the other one for granted and forget about the important factor that will maintain their relationships. I think it is important to once awhile impress your love one, even though you are co-habitating. by not just wearing those "home" suits, either partners can dress up just for a home cook dinner once or twice a week. this will keep the couple reminded that they are still in love with each other and that they still care.

Man time and girl time should be both allow. sometimes, there is a need for friends and to keep in touch with a group of best friend or two just to keep you up to date on your friends. By the way, love is just a part of life and not all.

wont you agree?

I'm in Australia and my girlfriend's in Malaysia.

My gf and I started of a couple of years back but everything was very gradual, from a friendship, slowly to a moer serious relationship. I never really asked her the "would you be mine?" question so I wanted to make it 'offical'.

Things can get pretty rough when we're so many miles away from each other as all we can do is hear each other's voice or the occasional webcam sessions. But I really do believe it's all about your effort and sacrifices! We both have our separate lives away from each other but I always make the effor to keep in very very close contact with each other as communication is essential, even if one SMS costs 75 times more than back home.

During the last winter break I went back to KL to 'officiate' as I did not want to miss that 7.7.07 date. I called up KL tower thinking of a nice dinner at the revolving restaurant(it's the constant creative ideas and surprises that breaks the monotonousness, so us guys should really show them how much we appreciate them constantly!). Unfortunately on that day they were booked out fully!

So on that day, I blindfolded her and drove her to a nearby "hilltop" with an awesome view where very few know about. Then I set out a picnic cloth on the ground and put candles everywhere, and slowly, I brought out all the little tit bits and food that she loves, even cooked some, remembering everything she likes (we should never take the small details for granted! It shows that we care).

Then after 'dinner', I popped the question! (of course what I said will remain a secret! :p) And she was just speechless and tears started to build.

Now I'm back here, and we still have a refreshing relationship everyday and I can't wait till the summer break comes! 19 more days! :)

Holy shit...that meat spin website is giving me a bloody nitemare!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PHOBIA

I've been married for 7 years now and we've known each other for 12 years altogether.

Things changed a lot of course, comparing now and when you first met each other. It's natural cuz' when you were young, you think differently and would normally go for some adventures together.

But now, you have more commitment in life.. career..etc.. I have to admit sometimes we don't really have much time together due to work.

One thing that we never fail to do is saying 'I Love You' to each other everyday... and a kiss and hug is a must everyday.

Also need a lot of patience, trust, understanding and a lot of give and take. We give each other freedom. We don't restrict each other from going out and meeting friends. We have time for 'just the 2 of us', have time with family,..etc..

Going for a trip together will be great.. even to nearby places (not necessary overseas) just to enjoy each other's company. Do something together eg. watch a romantic comedy while sipping your favourite wine, cook a meal together in the kitchen etc, give each other a massage, challenge each other on playstation...etc

Sometimes relationship don't last.. so.. at least, make the best out of it while you're still in the relationship... You'll never know what will happen next. Even if things don't work out, all the incredible moments together will always remain in our heart... no one can take that away.

But of course, it's best when the relationship lasts forever...

For me I am very observant to my partner's needs. By the look of her eyes I would know what she wants or needs. Then I will of course fulfill it if her request is not beyond my capability.

Girls love to be cared for. Thats why I sometimes randomly give her a call just to ask how is she doing and tell her that I miss her terribly. Of course its from the bottom of my heart.

When girls are in love just a simple gift will lighten up their day. So I would get her something small sometimes so that she'll be happy. And of course to strengten our relationship.

'Girls are not allowed during "man time". But give your guy some "man time" to pursue his personal goals and trust me, he'll appreciate it and in return reward you with some "sexy time".'

Kenny, I am disappointed with you. I really wish you didn't use the whole "reward you" and "sexy time" thing. This is such a MAN and chauvinistic thing to say. "Sexy time" is something for the MAN again (don't deny it). You get MAN time, and you "reward us" with SEXY time?

What about what we want/need? What about giving us what WE need? I won't even go to the extent of saying giving us girls some "GIRL/ME/PRINCESS" time... how about something simple like just some quiet "US" time or just a simple dinner+movie date? Without the aspect of "SEXY time" thrown in?

Is that too much to ask?

WE don't need no sex for a reward. We just want a little love and attention.

I could not agree more with your thoughts. Couples tend to get bored with their relationships after some time, eventually led to a breakup in the end. People nowadays is really very 'open-minded' when it comes to a relationship. They normally would not think of long-term commitments when it comes to love. I once had a relationship which last only 1 week.

In my opinion, to sustain a relationship depend mostly on the personality and the level of likeness of both lovers. There is a cantonese saying that 'Min Kiong Hai Mou Yong Geh'(its useless to be forceful). I believe that the fairytales where the princess-frog prince love does not exist anymore in this world, unless wealth and social status are concerned.

To maintain a relationship is a totally different thing from starting one, it seems so easy to get along and begin a relationship with someone else but to maintain it, unlimited amount of courage, patience and determination are needed to sustain the spark from going off. I am very impressed with the couples who can still love each other after many many years.

The important point is, learn and understand your partner's needs and fulfilling them without neglecting ownself needs. Love is a learning process as experience and knowledge are important. Just do not give up on love and hope. It will come to you when you least expect it.

p/s: Kenny, I admire your body lah...go gym so often to work out. I saw your picture with my friend during the Terry Fox Run. He says you are a funny guy. D not cut queue, it is not good. =P

Great post, especially about the man time, I personally have my "man time", my gf appriciates it, and in return, i'm compelled to spend more time with her without her asking....

yeah...man time works...

wong ww u suck >.

Before anyone gets on their high horse, let me state for the record, that I agree that all men deserve their "MAN" time, as do all women who deserve their "WOMAN" time! You deserve your space, and we deserve ours too! Remember, it goes both ways!

i have been in a relationship for several time but as far as i was concern it doesn't work well.the thing here is that when its come to "man time" as you mention earlier did not fulfill by the other spouse.yes i know some time its ridiculous to make something extraordinary but it is worthwhile.just for an example in my situation, i am a smoker.Girl i know you don't like it but did you ever think that sometime if you give Marlboro Special Edition for me and it will brighten my day.if you keep on nagging on stop smoking at me,that will make me boring.if you stop buying shoe and handbag,then i will consider on stop smoking and drinking.hahaha....

the way u play games is hilariouse,i think if you're gf looks at it,she'll laugh till her jaws drop ,maybe it could sparks the relationship too hehe

Well.. for me love is just for producing your next generation.. when a guy try to get you.. he will send you 9999 rose to you after getting you.. you will be his slave.. cleaning house/washing laundry etc. well..

This is love.. but most important both of you must leave happy together.. for me how to keep the spark forever alive.. how? as what I read comments from up there some of the girls had misunderstand of the word 'man time' and 'sexy time'

Well I just want to change the thinking of them abit.. normally 'man time' is just giving your man some free time to enjoy himself.. like? let him go hang out his fren after a hard day work or going gym to stretch his muscles abit while your man is having his 'man time' you can have your 'sexy time' like going your facial or shopping which which what girls love to do.. at nite both of you can enjoy your 'romantic time' together.

You just have to give n take that all.. you can keep your spark alive forever in this simple ways..

But my main point is to have all this simple life style.. you must able to support both of your life.. Nowdays what I see is people married but the guy can't even able to support his own life.. what to do~~ his wife is pregnant have to be responsible... why they want to suffer thier life like this?

Han Foong
www.hanfoong.com/blog

a relationship works both ways. its a two way relationship. no one. but two.

How do I keep the spark sparkling?

I know that the spark is there when my lover is traveling around the world or visiting another part of the world without me. There is this sense of belonging, this sense of flicker.
You know you are passionately in love when you get that flick in your mind about the passion and the depth. To sit there on your own when your lover isn't there or is traveling without fills you with a touch of romantic anxiety, it flickers your emotions, your feelings, your utter taste for all things real inside of your self and the outer world.

You know you are still sparking when you sit alone and gaze at the ocean or at the street while you eat at a cafe and you know that the very one person you love isn't there, but is strongly thinking of you, even if they are busy with work or travel.

You know the spark is there when you receive a postcard saying how much your lover misses you and can't bare the few days they are away without you in their lives.

The spark is flickering when you receive a text message while in the most unexpected place, it fills you with a sense of importance and urge in your lovers life. It tingles your senses and makes you sigh but at the same time sink at the fact that you know that where ever you are, no matter what, someone is thinking of you all the time.

You know that the love is still sparking when you wake up in the morning and your lover has gone, only leaving the stamp of where their head lay next to yours on the pillow from the night before.
You know because you turn around and then you get the shock of your life.

You know that the spark is there when you are walking along the beach and you say you love each other, knowing that the memory will be there forever, the date, the weather, the occasion, because the only thing that won't be there are the foot prints you both left in the sand.

But the memories of the sunset shading the shallow depths of your shadows holding hands into the sandy waters is unforgettable.

You know that the spark is there when you both have to go and you want to be together, because really, there is only one place and one person you would want to be... with them in your arms.

You know that you are in love and the spark is there when your lover turns around and stares deep into your eyes trying to read the history of your life, because they are infatuated with everything that lays in the intelligence and feeling of your mind.

Lastly,
You know that the spark is there when you imagine what life really would be like without that person in your life. You know that it's really there when you think about how you'd rather be dead than without them.

Dakota ~

All I have to say is this; The easiest way to spark up a long-term relationship is to keep things the way it was as you met. I noticed that with time, couples tend to no longer be affectionate towards each other, that it becomes a chore.

What you do for your partner don't have to be big; your day to day activities, like dining in together, watching movies, shopping trip, can be exciting if they are done with lots of love. People might think that doing things for the significant other is WORK and you expect something in return. Of course la it will be unfair to let one party to be doing all the "loving", thus his/her effort must be reciprocated in the same enthusiasm.

Another thing would be, try to get involved with the things your partner is passionate about. Example, my partner's passionate abt cycling, and I who havent cycled in 12 years, started to pick up road cycling, just to spend time with him. I don't go out cycling as much as he does, but when we do, its always a blast. His effort would be accompanying me for trips to art market, art galleries and learn to analyze paintings. Its a chore for him at first, but with some encouragement, he's doing fine.

Last but not least, keep the conversation running. Have your own interests and share things that he doesn't know about. Remember that looks will fade, but the mind will grow wiser. Later on, he might not be intrigued as he was with your physical self, but there's something about your mind and personality that keeps him coming back to you.

In short, practical day to day stuff. You cant expect to be like angmohs, right? One-off romantic gateaway and then a lifetime of hell.

Scary...

let her rant all she wants, complain and grumble, but i'll just look at her and smile, apologize, and give her a long nice hug assuring her that everything's going to change and be alright.

me never had a smooth relationship ever . both of my previous relationship all end up in a long distance relatioship. before me and my first bf get together, we were at high school..everyday is happy for me..but when we get together after graduation, things really turn upside down for me when we when abroad for his study. i started to realise, been in a realtionship doesnt mean u'll be happy. i learnt that his trueself is so different then what i know him at school. we were kinda strugle along a few month before we decided to break up. it was a release for me since i know long distance relationship is really hard to keep and espeacially when both of our personalty really doesnt match anymore.

for my 2nd bf, his family run a business at my home town. but he was originaly a KL people. so he doesnt want to stay here to help his family. so it was another long distance relationship for. he did fly here to see me and i did fly there to see him. in him i really found a spot and really feel comfortable and safe in his arms. we were really really in love but distance is really a challenge for us. it is really hard to keep this relationship eventhoug both of us are heavenly match from above. so we did keep conected all of the time and we make sure we were talk about eveything to each other. i'll do anything to get the chance to see him, make him happy. we did argue along de way, but i believe that arguement makes couple understand each other more and can really tighten the relationship. i now working with his family. he can now know what im doing and i can always feel close to him coz i always with his family.

but still , distance is really a challenge. we still patiently waiting for the right chance to get together again . keeping a relatioship was hard. but keeping a long distance is even harder.

K n N are a smart and brillaint couple. My opinion to maintain a good relationship is love, trust and make allowance to each others...
Sometime as a gentleman must not to be lazy to show and say 'I love u' n
as a wise gal sometime have to pretend 'stupid' to let ur another to protect u...

eh every week also advertisement. sien liao leh.... ur blog 'spark' also can finish one, u noe...

Remember to say "I love you" even after a few years. That's what the other party have to be reminded... =)

MY WAY IS VERY SIMPLE! I POKE U & U ALLOW ME TO POKE U! & TOGETHER WE ARE POKEING PARTNER FOREVER!
HE!HE! HAVE A NICE DAY!

this post came 5 months too late
broke up with my girl of four years....those points in your post..it is so true...

Refresh back to when I ask my wife to be my girlfriend at the very first time, I gave her 101 roses when we went for a trip to Cameroon. After 8 years of dating, finally we become the official partner …..but I never fail to believe that we are the couple to each other. How u keep the spark so long…..just keep the LOVE inside ur heart n there is no need to express it out by words…prove it to her and they can feel it….to be a good partner, I believe the most important things is to trust, listen and commenter…I mean good listener and commenter then…never ask ur partner what she is doing when u let her free…and listen to every detail the words she spoke to u everyday…girls like to insert hints of what they like or dislike when they are talking to u, they don’t like to say it directly to u…..then only u give them what they want….my wife always be happy when she can get something she don’t really expect it to be but its like a surprise when she know u get what she mean…..lastly, u have to have ur own opinion based on principle and gave them a good comments…don’t ever condemn their opinion or behaviors …do it a cool ways…. When u get angry, just tell her u need time to relax and only talk about it when u really calm down….this will avoid all the unnecessary saying sorry later…….

i'm guilty of not telling my wife that i love her

i love her so much that i cant live without her

we quarrel every weekend and she wants me to move out

OMG !

the agony...not being able to feel her and breath her is pure pain..

call me wicked and naked but i love my wife

Hi Kenny, thats so touching. Mysel, I failed all the time. However, If you looking for a gorgeous Malay girl for a girlfriend, I am willing to help.
www.hanafionline.com

Why must there be spark? I prefer to think that the goal in any relationships is that we have the eternal flame - not something that is jumpstart once a while but something that is continuously and constantly burning.

As to the "how"? When we remember that our partner is a person with their own needs and wants, we will know what to do.

We did nothing...
he always ignore what i say...
like i'm talking to the wall,
his behaviour change faster than the rocket to launch when he has his own friend around him...
I think this relationship is meaningless....sob..sob..
I should end this RELATIONSHIP!!!
yes..Kenny u make a good decision to break up with ur love one cause there nth both of u can do anymore....

it aint sweet anymore once the guy got her to bed......! cos the kick and challenge is over!!

i've been dating my other half for 7 and a half years now and in that 7 and a half years, 2 and a half years are spend as a long distance relationship.

i think before either side think of ways to re-ignite that spark, the thing is to simply not take it for granted.

i've learned that being with someone for such a long time, the other half is practically an extension of yourself, a part of you. and that can be easily taken for granted.

once we realize that, then it becomes simple.
whatever we do, whatever gifts buy, however many times 'i love you' is said, if we dont take it for granted, it'll mean so much more.

Hmmm, spark,

spark is unnecessary in today's environment.

Money rules big time. No money, no job security, house or pad...etc....nope...

Better be single and drink your soft drinks. I love coke.....

kenny wtf is this? where are the good posts? you sold your ass for a few bucks and now the whole of kuching has to read some love advice that we could have read from some 15 year old girls blog.

WUT THE HELL IS THIS?

just give away all the hugo boss perfume at random already geez.
next you will be writing about sanitary pads and 'how to keep comfortable during that time of the month' wtf.

"make" baby.... haha, once u have child, the couple life will never be the same...anymore. if wan to "spark", then make bab(ies) lo. haha. kenny~ u playing ps2 right? u using logitech's controller?

the reason my relationship survived till today is because me and my other half dont meet each other often..He works in sarawak and i study here.we only meet once a month or two, but when he comes back we do many fun things together because we really missed each other. (when the spark is about to go off it gets ignited when we meet again.)To keep each other reminded of our relationship and existence we text and talk at least once a day, regardless if its a 2 minute talk or a 2 hour conversation. When he is around, we give each other spaces.. "try not to be too nosey bout each other's bussiness" dunno bout the rest but soo far this method has been keeping my realationship alive for nearly 4 years

man time. lady time. female time. it works. sometimes being together for too long, you start to lose focus. focus being WHY you got together in the first place. you start to see all the bad stuff, the ugly side of your partner.all the wonderful things vanish as you see her pick her nose, see him fart in your face. ==!

being apart for a while actually works well.give each other some space, some 'alone time', away from your obligations in a relationship, away from your partner's expectations from you. some alone time gives you the chance to miss the presence of him/her, and to feel the wanting to be with him/her more. you cherish the moments you've had together and will have the wanting to create more of those special moments.

personally, i'm in Australia and he's back in Malaysia. there isn't a day that i don't miss him.

alone time. him time. her time. it works to bring the spark back, especially when you see him/her again. the feeling is INCREDIBLE! :)

Eternal Love Mind Set
Just keep my mind on the right side, understanding and believing, entertaining is my hubby's job, with his humors and his attentions, he can spark our relationship. Playing with our children still the best way for me n hubby to fell that we need each other.

it really depends on your other halves behaviour, views & personality.

Some of my ex-es are really possesive and before you know it, the same question arise from my head. What does he want from me?? I can't wait to get out. Every minute with him was like hours. It's a complete depression. But.. but.. this doesn't mean I don'l love him. I do. I'd miss him when he's not around. I do wonder what's he been doing whole day, what's the story in the office. You know, sort of not important petty stuff but it's good to know.

But if I spent too much time with him. I felt tired. I wanna puke the 3-word out. (it's Good Bye Chuck, not I love you). Cause I just can't stand it. Conversations will soon turn into heated arguments. But when he left, you still miss him.

That was the ex. That was the old story. I then attached to my current boo, which I don't know what to say. He.. open minded, not possesive, and he understands that sometimes, I (or girls) need to be alone. It's like a girlfriend to me. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if i suggests three-some, but let's not get there. I get bored easily. And well, I'd say he try his best not to call when i'm out with fling or so.
I wouldn't mind either. We both need our time-out. A healthy relationship is as easy as keeping it fresh. Who knows he might learn a trick or two out there.

well... i use to think.. if u love each other.. and have them in ur heart... u will last forever
but how stupid i am...

u really have to work very hard, cheer her, accompany them, be there when she wan u, always surprises...

For God's sake Kenny, stop whoring yourself and return to writing quality posts.

Sex and food are the keys to a guy's heart and diamonds/gifts and hugs are the keys to a gal's. Need I say more? Just shower each other with variations and that will keep the spark alive.

Scrap the Ads la. It is so fucking boring.

There aren't many better ways that will make you feel loved than the both of us sitting side by side, each minding his and her own business on our own laptops, when all of a sudden, an IM pops up from her with the words "I Love You" . The match has just been lit.

Hmmm Is there such thing as true love? Eternal Spark? I for one would love to know somebody who have it for a change. All "love fades" talks is depressing...

Allow me to tell u a story of how to keep my man of my life beside me.....

I knew my hubby 11 years ago. I was the naive, fresh STPM grad who knew nothing about the world. My first job was to meet my hubby-to-be... No-la... In my first job, I was always being blamed for not keeping the quality of the products that caused so much rejects at his testing line.... hehehee I never knew his name (always protected by my boss during meeting) until my first company dinner. I was arranged to sit in the same table with him. I was amazed how those ladies in that table trying to impress him. Yucks!! that would be the last guy I would marry....

A few days later, I resigned from the company to pursue my study. Things changed. He asked me out for jogging, visiting friends, movies and all those was always with a group of ladies. Imagine, 4 ladies (including me) going out with him. One of my friend was there, so I joined just for the sake of passing time. As time goes by, the number of ladies reduced. Then I came to know that all of them like him (let's call him J). Don't know why.... Guess what?? a few months later, it's only me and him, why? It's like a routine activity for weekends. And I began to like his companion....

We dated each other and meeting only during weekends. And each meeting was sure to impress each other. This lasted for 3 years, until a girl newly joined the company was trying to tackle him. The status quo had been challenged. I (the stupid one) told him to go after the girl. I backed off..... hey, he loved me more...

2 years later, I met a guy, V. He was head over heels on me. J knew and was very jealous. He picked on every single thing I did. At last, he broke into tears and I soften my heart and loved him more...

Then my boss sent me off to other states.... 400km apart. This was the best season of our relationship... It's like back to square 1. We always tried to impress each other with out stunning looks and characters. And finally, he decided to ask for my hand...... I agreed immediately (talk about eagerness to get married!!).

I resigned and moved back to where he is.... He was so caring... Still remembered how he searched for me when I work late (the 1st time at the new company): he called my hp (weak signal at office); call my extension (but I was chatting away with my colleague in other cube); went to a club (where I used to go for swimming/gym); drove to my company to look for car at the parking lot;..... And this taught me a lesson to call him after 1730 hour whether I am planning to work late or not... hehehehe

Then I had a baby. He was so excited, he showed so much love and cared for me. When BB was borned, he took care of him, just like a mom... I loved him more.... but somehow.... as BB grew, he changed, tremendously. He came home late (midnite). He was never at home during weekends. He did not believe in family time. He never say I love u ('coz it's meant for fooling little girls). He scolded me. He blamed me for everything that went wrong. But when I asked, 'What's wrong, honey?'; the replied was always 'Nothing'.

I tried so many ways.....
- is he going thru depression? I kept quiet, giving him his 'cave time' (if u read men are from mars)
- BB too noisy? I always pulled BB away from him when he cried
- I have changed? I was so cautious with my languaged and speech
- I am haggard? I signed up for facial and slimming courses
- he's too busy with work? give him 'cave time'
- my expectation too high? close my eyes and shut all the -ve feelings
- there's no privacy between us? I invited him for movies, but he turned down my offer
- etc.... I even consulted my friends for advise....

At last, I went hysteria.... i screamed and shouted and cried non-stop..... he didn't hug me. Instead, my cried my feelings out repeatedly... 'Please dun leave me... I'm afraid....' That was when he realized what was going on. came over to hug me and tell me that he's not leaving us. As usual, nothing was wrong between us, just that he wants me to continue smiling and share the joy with him which i haven't been doing after the arrival of my BB (>3 years).....

Man, sometimes can be very difficult to understand but he's always loving at heart.... Reading books about man can help at times, but not always. How to hold him next to me? He just needs to tell me, not John Gary/KennySia. Just wish he could share more with me.... And I love him.....

We have dated for 8 years. Sparks come and goes. The first 3 months is where the sparks was the best as everything was so new.

We do things together from shopping grocery to watching football together. I cook for him gourmet food and once in a while some candle lit dinner to change the ambience. He on the other hand will be there to take care of me especially when I'm sick - buy me porridge, changing warm towel over my forehead. It's all these little things that we were doing for each other that kept the 8 years relationship alive.

WE also came to a point or shall I say ME came to a situation where I felt the relationship was monotonous and it became a little boring. It did strike my mind thinking that maybe he is not the one and maybe i don't love him anymore. But that was all wrong. We worked things out to patch the relationship together and try to create some sparks again. So in the end to help spark up the relationship, we went travelling or just stay in a hotel in KL together to have a different environment and ambience. The best place to travel for both of us is just to find a place where both of us can relax and spend quality time together doing nothing and admiring each other and thinking back the good quality things we used to do with each other.

Never forego a relationship just because you think that there isn't anymore sparks in it especially after many years of understanding, caring that one has provided to another. Love is like a plant. It needs to be taken care of constantly, by watering it, putting it under the sunlight once in a while etc. SO cherish your partner for you might not know what you will miss most till you lose him/her.

To keep the spark of relationship both way must take the effort. Be it vacation, outing, dinner or party be it cheap or expensive as long as you enjoy the companionship and communication i am sure the sparks will really goes on.

I've been in and out of my current relationship for 8 years already due to immaturity from both parties. Planning to get married in 2 yrs time.

To be completely honest, having a relationship this long is not easy and not recommended. It's super tough ok, especially from a guy's perspective.

Being together this long, you tend to "see" more in a person than meets the eye. No, I'm not talking about seeing beyond the clothes and underneath it. I'm talking about character and attitudes that one reveals over that period of time, by being with each other. Of course, it's the same for me too. I'm sure she sees more about me than when she first met me.

Now when you've seen so much, being a guy, you sometimes let your eyes wander off, and if you're not careful, low and behold, your heart drifts off too.

It's very easy to look at ones blemishes and imperfections, but behold another's beauty and marvels like they're the many times better than your current partner, especially if you've been together for so long.

But if you look carefully, you may find more blemishes and imperfections in that person than in your current partner.

Doesn't it make you wonder at times, why in the world did you chose him/her in the first place?

The answer lies in your relationship and how long and far you both have traveled together. If it's just because of emotions and "feel", be careful.

Like many people have probably mentioned, being in a relationship and actually aspiring that it stays together till death do us part, indeed takes more than just emotions and crushes. It takes a lot of work and effort in reasoning, logic, communication and pure love.

I'm a person of balance and reason. I'm not into the kinda thing where couples get together cause the other person's really stunning and hot and I'm all over him/her thing. I think that's really immature and at the end, you'll only hurt yourself. You're entitled to your own opinion and my opinion is entirely mine alone.

Part of what I do that works for my relationship are surprises. The element of surprise and awe works for my gal. Please don't quote me and assume it works for your gal.

My gal appreciates surprises. To her, it is the sense of thoughtfulness that creates a lasting attraction. Words of love are also important because it is reassuring and comforting at the same time.

We've been through good and really hard times together, and many times when I reflect over the years, I just hold her face and look into her eyes and say, "Thank you for loving me all these years despite all that I am that are imperfect in many ways, yet you chose to stay by me when you could find a man better than me anytime."

Then we'd just be teary in each others' arms.

To me, reflection and efforts are both keys that are vital for me to keep this relationship in a state of romance which is of UTMOST importance in any serious long term relationship.

I was brought up in a broken family and I know how it is like being a child in that situation.

I wanna make sure I do my part to prevent history from repeating itself.

Long term relationships does not necessarily mean the end of your life dreams. Another key is to be open to each other's dreams and desires of achievement in future, and stand by each other in support and strength for your partner to be the best they can be in their God-given potential.

We have no right to be an obstacle to our partner's progress and improvements in life. We should be the one to flame and encourage it till it bears fruits. If we don't stand by him/her, who else will?

God bless your relationships.

oday's topic is nothing new to me. It is a topic which me and my wife will always bickering around. "Do you still love me?" & all those "Last time hoh u will ... BUT NOW...sigh". Well, we already been together for 8 years and to keep the fire burning will depend on the willingness for each other to do it. So let me share my ways to keeping the sparks or fire.

The key to this whole "feeling in love" are "SURPRISE".

When we started off dating, i already start to tell her that i need 'some room' for myself and she agreed. This is very important.

Therefore, I have my "secret cabinet" in my house and also one back in my hometown. I already told her that since we are now staying together, planning for SURPRISES without her knowledge is so difficult so she agreed not to peep into this "secret cabinet"
It holds the important gadget that enable me to plan & construct SURPRISES for her.

When i saw any interesting, i would buy it and keep it inside my 'secret cabinet' and wait till the right moment to SURPRISE her. Sometimes, it would be there for years but eventually it always work for me. I would see her smile and laughter and i would get all the hug in the world from her.

The most recent surprise i have for her is last week where i saw some stall selling those sweet balloon that are in 'doggy shape'. As we went shopping together at Ikano Power, i have to find a way to be alone. So, the best part is going to Bookstore where she seldom follows and i would go to buy the balloon. I don't just pass to her. I would go to the car and place it properly. A place where she can see it before she enter the car. Then i would just pretend the silly look of which finally will get a big kiss from her. Well, to the guys out there, a flower also work.

Sometimes, i even have to run around shopping mall to get this thing done cos sometime we don't have all the time in the world and if it is unnatural, my wife will notice and i would waste my idea.

Other SURPRISES that will work is to 'cook her favourite meal'. Good thing for me, my wife love luncheon meat & cheese a lot, so it make it so much easier for me. Remember don't cook too often until it run out of value. Cook at the "right timing" to create SURPRISE.

If she go out to shopping mall with some friends, SURPRISE her by sitting at the same restaurant with her.

If i run out of ideas, just get a romantic love movie and copy it. Doesn't matter even though it is not original, the important part is that she know that i am willing to do something for her.

kenny, an unrelevant question, is that a ps3 u got dere?

halo kenny, can write something more interesting onot? not relationship crap again n again. ppl got different ways n different priorities. seems to me u wana make all d small boys n girls happy oni. maybe u are 1 i duno, but stop preaching la rite.. u got talent to write no doubt, but u keep writing these shit, gets bit annoying rite. this hugo shit 1 overrated scam, they pay u okla fine, but over exposing 1 good way to drive ppl away. ppl chose perfume based on scent, not r'ship bullshit.

Yes..flowers(big bouquet of roses please), champagnes, candle light dinners, formal suits, "I LOVE YOU!" But guess what? we always says,"No, i dont want my boyfriend to do that, it's very useless, plus, the flowers will wilt, totally useless!"(I always says that to my friends, haha) But, THAT IS WHAT WE ONE!!

And trust me, some girls tried to create the "SPark" in their relationship by creating enviness (Example: pretend to go out with some other guys), this may work by chance and luck only. Untrained couples, please dont do that. Really!

Love is... just so blind.
Couples always think that they can last forever in th misdt of their relationship.. but it's not that true.

I had this ex (I have no idea why I picked him, I guess it was th chemistry and th will to try), who was super childish, but was willing to change his poor attitude for me
But he screws it up everytime and I was th one getting hurt most of th time because he keeps breaking his promises. We broke up, duh, but after 7 months. Gee, I wonder how I tahan.

Anyway, before heading onto a relationship, I think one must really get to know that other party well before moving on, because you might regret your choice later.
Never regret on what you have decided, cos by the, it'd left a scar or it'd be too late to turn it around..

I think the way to keep the spark alive in any relationship is simply to keep the spark alive in life. Too many people are jaded, weary and worn out from work, school, etc that they forget to have fun. Fun's not only reserved for childhood, man.

For me, spontaneity is a huge plus. I love doing absolutely random, spontaneous things. Just doing something I've never done before once a week is good enough to rejuvenate myself and my relationship.

Recently, something he did was to book air tickets to India without letting me know the destination up to the moment before we boarded the plane. He knows I love to travel, esp to culturally-rich places, and the experience of backpacking in India is something I'll never forget. The motels we stayed in, the family we lodged with, the people we met, the food, everything! It just bonded us a whole lot.

Last year, I booked us into a cooking lesson just for the hell of it. I knew we BOTH were terrible cooks and hated cooking (but loved eating). Hahaha it's true that misery loves company, and we both had a great time generally creating chaos in the kitchen . Of course food fights, a messy kitchen and a very very annoyed instructor cook followed.

It doesn't have to be all roses, chocolate, dinner and I-love-yous. Sometimes just retaining some child-like spontaneity and sense of fun is good enough.

Cantonese say a爱-讲没用，做才实际！！
we don't talk love, we make it!

I have been with my bf for 5 years now which includes a almost 2 year long distance relationship.Poeple often says that after the first 2 years of dating,the sparks would normally die out and then that is when troubles arises.Well,every couple is bound to face obstacles and problems every now and then, it is just how we can overcome it.If anyone of you are facing it right now,you are not alone.If you love someone deeply,you'll do anything to save the relationship isnt it? Toleration,trust and understanding towards each other is a really big issue here in maintaining a good relationship.My bf is my first and who says true love doenst exist? I'm not saying i can guerentee 101% we'll be together but,i'll do whatever it takes to keep us together until the end.Who doenst? The time we spent,the food we ate together,the places we travelled,the jokes we shared,the shoulder i leaned and cried on,and the sweetest is to see them getting upset when were the one getting upset in the first place!They can hurt you the most and yet we seemed to fall more deeply in love everytime.Think of all these precious moments before you end a relationship.After spending 5 wonderful years with my bf,i still ask him why does it seems likes we have just dated? Tell your partner how much u misses and love them everyday.This is how you can keep the sparks alive.

Ok... i have never been in any relationship but i think that maybe going to a class together could reignite some spark. Eg. going to a dance class or martial arts class together.

easy. set ur bf on fire. with petrol. sure spark tak habis one.

communication is important in a relationship and also in maintaining the spark. if u let ur partner know how u feel and what are ur problems, then solve it together...tis is a great way to maintain the spark. you can jus tell ur partner that ur spark is slowly 'dying' then he/she will know what to do to light up the spark (eg. flowers, dinner, holidays...etc)Express ur feelings and love by saying'I love U' & 'I miss U' are also a type of communication.

being together as a couple, we mus tolerate each other but how long and far can u tolerate someone...at the first few months of a relationship u might think it is jus a small matter but those problems might be the causes of ur 'dying' spark...so never under estimate a small problem in relationship because when things involve human being and emotions/feelings, it will never end..so communicate and talk to each other what u like or dislike will help make life easier (& save time) for both.(girls will stop complaining to guy that they dunno wat they wan & guys will stop complaining that what girls are thinking)

conclusion, holidays, flower, dinner and etc is a way of gaining back ur spark but all of tis cant be done without communication. when couples communicate, it is also a sign of commitment; u are willing to share ur happiness and sadness wit ur partner - go through all the bad times wit him/her.

Is love buying LV handbags, taking a girl to Santorini, nouvelle cuisine everyday?
Love is, and I quote, "Love is the ability to see beyond the faults of another and discover the beauties of his or her heart."

Truth be told, love is everything. Love is when my girlfriend straightens my tie, or simply when I read her old smses over and over.
I'm not the love doctor. We're not the perfect couple out there. As long as I'm happy and she's happy. It's difficult to find the balance of do's and don'ts, but conflict isn't always bad.

Communication. We talk to one another. Surprises showed me she cares. We're together to witnesses each others lives. I carry her, she'll carry me.

Cheesy huh? but hey, whatever fits my shoe.

things you should do to him/her:

Special (make him/her feel that he/she is special)

Precious(buy precious stuff or treat her preciously)

Appealing (always look appealing = dress up)

Rich wit love (tell him/her 'I LOVE U')

Kowtow (do this when u did something wrong)

LoL...there sure are alot of comments gonna flood here soon. I'm not here for the contest, just wanna seek advice from you

Kenny, if possible...would you mind send some of the best replies ever posted here? i'll appreciate much. i'm having sort of a dilemma and i need to make a swift and wise decision before falling for the wrong things again. i hope this wouldn't really bother you..and hoping this would solve my problem with ease

thx

i've been enjoying my relationship with my gf almost 1 and the half year. 5 months ago, she left to United State for study. since then,this is not only a lon-term and even a long-distance relationship.

well, eventhough it is a long-distance, we still meet each other everyday. How? very simple...we just turn on our web cam 24/7. so that, i can see whatever she is doing in her room in certain angle.

i guess there is still too much "man time" for me now. in my opinion, relationship just like a marathon,as u cant stop but slow down. once u stop, u few reluctant to continue. aren't u?

hence, just do something extraordinary to let her or he know your situation.for instance, she sent me her diary as my birhtday present. that was my best birthday present ever. since then, we don't hav any single secret within us anymore.

so, what say u?

sometimes it reminds me of the oldschool way where parents decide who is goin 2 be ur soulmate...coz sumtimes serious its gettin bored wen u spend 2 much time b4 u evn gettng into d marital stage...4 my prsonal case, i use 2 go 2 my gf's place once a month,n wen its cme 2 holiday we will go 4 holday..exmple back in sabah we went 2 sapi island,snork,banana boating....but im nt sure 4 d other status of relationship,whether its a near or far realtionship..bt 1 thng 4 sure...making him or her a breakfast wud be perfect!buy oso cn LAH..put little effort LAH waking up earlier then her

110% agreed!

I started my relationship around January last year, right before i left malaysia to pursue my overseas study. I'm silly but lets dont get into details of it.

She is my first girlfriend and of coz i gave her my best of everything. We sms each other like never before coz international call cost a bomb. At one point i blew like Rm2000+ just to call her everyday when she complain i never used to call, only sms sms n sms. I am naive and i always believed that in a relationship its best if u give them ur best effort so that if things never work out, u will have no regret since u already tried ur best.

The most unexpected thing i did for her is preparing valentine gift. She never could have expected all this since i got her (i confessed) a day before i left malaysia. The process is extremely difficult as i have to set connection in her university so tat she can get the gift on that day itself. And not to mention getting the gift from my house to the university. Completed the whole process using only phone n msn. ahh... talking about the power of modern communication system.

However i learn a very important lesson during the next valentine day. Never ever give them the best, coz u know u will run out of idea or she will be so used to all the stunt u can pull in the 1 year span. So in short, i tried to surprise her by never preparing anything at all. Needless to say, dont be an idiot like me and celebrate that special day as disaster.
For gals u can only do better and not worse. Since u gave her ur best, u cant do better. get what i mean?

SEX SEX! and more SEX! LoL. Kiddingz. Love, Trust and Understanding. Most important yet everyone tend to forget about it. I guess keeping spark alive would require a lot of time and it is best to take things slow so that both can spend more time doing new things once in awhile. Not doing everything new all at once until there is nothing new to do.

Every begining of a relationship is full of excitement, curiosity and passion. Once married, things will change dramatically. That's why you can see people don't get marry in todays world. Besides, more freedom.

To make a permanent relationship with the one you love, you have to give full commitment, be passionate (act it eventhough you don't) and increase the intimacy between both of you. Well, I learn this from my own experinces when I failed twice.

The first one I was too shy to show my feeling. Me and him physically were so near but far in heart. Soon, we broke. Link

The situation is almost similar with my second ex-bf. I didn't have the time to spend with him since we stayed far apart and I've to work hard for my exam. Not even a month, we broke.

Learning from my previous mistakes and failures, I change myself in managing a relationship. I try to build a stable relationship with my current bf by giving commitments. I even put some efforts by reading some books that help to build a health relationship with my boy. So far, I found out that John Gray's book: "Men Are Mars, Women Are Venus" is the best among the others.

Gray states that man has his own cave which is similar with your "man time". Therefore, I truly believe that girls need to leave their men in that critical period or else will end up quarreling or worst... "WAR"...

In order to maintain the relationship, I will give fully commitment and respect as well to my boy.

#I like this topic. It has reminded me my role as a girl friend.. :D

to be with the right one where both actually has the chemistry. besides putting a lot of efforts and sacrifices, love works in one compatible couple, compatible in the sense of anything and everything which clicks their perception, personality and acts.

Long term relationship would not likely to go stale, again with the right one, when u stare in the eyes u know whats in the mind, when both actually spontaneously voice the same word at that very typical similar seconds, and with one word being mentioned u know what hes gona do next. even years being with the same guy, these wud be a great one embedded in ur mind, so lovely that u think both are specially meant to be together. with these then to take the efforts to sustain the ship, to appreciate those million moments spent together, to think of eternality.

couple can always spend time together, but sometimes its good to refresh stuffs by either to be distance apart a few weeks, to realise how wonderful to have him/her, or instead to just spend time traveling together, in another place another country, to actually grow the bond between, to understand better.

with him doing something extraordinary as to neva washed a dish to suddenly help out, or even surprisingly got u something u longed to buy but yet u neva told him, some mind secret thing. lOLS ...etc etc. and with him at no occasion but to just show some love with a big bouquet of roses....

with her to decor up the place with candles n wines n some lovey dovey stuffs a scene of romance awaiting him to come home from work to throw a big surprise, to leave sticky love notes everywhere, to kiss him and pamper his head when hes starting to doze off...lols. etc etc.

perhaps something more, more than these, instead, to rear pups or any fav pets ,.... both actually to spend time buying pet food or going to vet and taking the pet for a stroll at the park and spending time socialising or even training the pets. etc etc.

giving the right time, space and freedom for men to actually do what they want, hangout with his frens, and do some men stuffs is good. say he aint a smoker but sometimes while drinking wif the gangs, reasonable to allow him to smoke once, though these stuffs girls dun hv to say no or anything to be in anger wif, trust ur man, he surely does whats right and avoid whats wrong.

there are much more commitments, responsibilities and etc etc...... but, neva been there done that, u neva knew, u neva tasted how it tastes! LOLS :)

Love alone does not make a relationship go the distance. Feelings are volitile. But those who've made the COMMITMENT to stay in for the long run, can make it work. Without commitment, you miss out on what love really can mean.

If you don't water the plant, it dies.

Yes, I agree that it is ultimately important to keep the spark alive in a relationship, any relationship including love, family and friendship.

For love, I considered lucky enough although I've married to a unbeatable-most-boring-and-ca tao (loghead) man in this world. We are so comfortable to each other that we don't try to impress each other anymore (like you said, Kenny). My hubby used to think that making the spark alive is unnecessary or it should be understood, however I have to keep 'training' him and keep sharing him articles on maintaining a healthy relationship. After my numerous patient and effort, he seems to improve a bit and we progress into a better relationship constantly. Now, we are geographical seperated as I am residing in USA while he is in Singapore. One thing that he would sure do is to call me every night before I go to bed, eventhough it's just to say 2 words like good night or sweet dream.

No matter how busy he is, or how inconvenient he is (sometimes he is catching plane or he is in a factory that cellphone is not allowed), he will call me or at least sms me.

This little gesture is the best spark in our long-term and long-distant relationship.

wow.. kenny, thanks for posting this, really, i actually really needed it.. i'm in a relationship with someone special right now and we haven't seen each other for 5 months now..

i've lost faith in long-distance relationships due to an earlier relationship.. so i couldn't help but worry when me and my current guy were forced to be apart. but through bad turbulence and smooth sailing together, i came to realize that if there's a will, there's a way.. and if it's true love we will be together no matter what.

i admit our relationship hasn't been so mushy-mushy now then it used to be, we both have our own commitments at the moment.. but we're still going strong because we make it an effort to re-ignite that spark that kept us together every now and then..

how? it might not sound so romantic, but when we're both free, we'll take our time talking to each other about anything - everything - because that was the 'spark' that tied us together in the first place..that was the reason we were brought together. to talk to him like we used to brings back forgotten, fond memories that doesn't fail to bring a tear to my eye everytime.. :)

to keep a relationship strong is to fall in love with the same person more than once - and you can achieve that by re-living the precious moments together.. and i believe that is how couples keep the spark in their relationship.. ;)

What keeps the spark in a relationship?

I think, in order to keep the "spark" in a relationship, we have to :

1.Spend QUALITY time not quantity.Although quantity may come in handy quite often. But, spending too much time with each other often makes the relationship dull and predictable. Believe me, I've been there and I couldnt stand it having to make myself see my bf when I rather have some time to myself or some time to hang out with my girlfriends.

2.Be mysterious. Perhaps do something unexpected. Like, I'm not the type who says, "I love you" often. And, I like to write love poems so that he knows and can be reassured about how I feel though I dont express it often. Cause saying it often makes it overated and meaningless.

3.Being nice. Like, giving him a massage after he had a long day, cook for him, buy him a gift...etc..

4.Give each other enough space. Its really ironic but I have never ever have enough space from my bf. I seem to have possesive bfs. And the only time I actually miss my bf is when I'm away from him. It is only then I appreaciate the times when he was around. So, a bit of space is always good.

5.Maintain the image you had when you first fell for each other. Cause if thats what that attracted you, it wil be certainly something that will be able to keep the relationship going.

6.And most importantly, honesty. No matter how much the truth hurts, it hurts more when it comes out later. Lesser pain now, greater pain when you think it's best to hide and then one day the other person finds out and gets heartbroken.

Well, thats my 2 cents... =)

Was wondering do you condone swinger, since for some this type of thrill would spark up a couple's love life.

this is my first time commenting in this blog,
well here goes..
me and my girl have been together for two years and i'm oni eighteen, she's seventeen dough. nowadays we seldom meet each other. sometimes just twice a month, things that kept us alive is that we constantly sms. checkin out on each other and see whether both of us is ok..guys dont be a pervert and invade her personal life. she needs some freedom and space for herself too. whenever we get along, i'll bring her to her favourite dining area where i'll order her favourite food/drinks/deserts. speaking about food, she's in secondary school right..so..sometimes when i'm free or around the corner, i'll jz drop by a slice of cake which she likes or even bake her one. but a slice of cake is best to go along with a main right..so..i made her some food as well, example: bolognese..or..porridge..etc..just make her somethin and put effort into it. she'll love it..
letters/presents- guys dont stress urself and go buy expensive stuff or those soft toys which cost you few days of allounce. make her one from ur heart. she'll be melted when she receives it, oh ya. and suprise her wif the gift is the best.
for future plannings , guys out there. you can give stop by her house while she's almost to be and make a big I LOVE YOU SIGN n give her a call and ask her to look out. she'll be havin a hard time sleepin on that day..

so..thats all i got..the rest is up to u guys to work the magic..

The sparks can go off too easily in a long-term relationship. But, it is down to both sides to lit the flames up again.

My gf and I has recently hit the 2 years anniversary. To be honest, we have argued alot in this relationship & i really mean ALOTT. Certainly, those fights have kept our love at bay but i must say that the efforts put in to keep one another really explains " love can bring wonders "

Suprises are important. My first suprise given to her was a birthday dinner which were initially celebrated by only 2 of us. Instead, i ended up inviting the whole gang with me presenting the cake romantically. She teared. Unbelievably, i did something heroic for Christmas. I climbed up to her room's window on the eve and hang Christmas bells with the lovely present tucked in the Christmas socks. It felt wonderful..

Secondly, communication can play a big role. She never fails to call me at least once in every 2 days just to ask how was the day and about me. When your relationship has turn sour out of the sudden, its essential to talk about the past with your partner. Reflecting on the past really hits your head how much you've changed compared to before. That helps both parties regain their soft loving sides. Having these conversations once in a while really makes me treasure her more the next time i go out with her. Hug her tighter, more kisses and so on you know? Sometimes, we even chat till we fall asleep and i guess it's pretty funny waking up with the phone stucked between the face and the pillow. Then you smile and reasise "ohh..=)"

Promises, keeeeep your promises. I guess i have failed not once but many times in keeping my promises. It has definitely wrecked my gf's trust in me in these 2 years. But, don't give up. Gain her trust again. Mean what you tell her and do what you meant. She feels secure when you actually do what you initially planned to do. Especially if its something big which she has many doubts for.

Lastly, Patience, you have to be around. Being distant from your partner can cause your mind to stir and drag you away from the reality that your partner still loves you as much. Distance tend to make both parties insecure which therefore constant quality communication steps in to comfort one another such as sweet talks. Do not ever be shy to be sweet to your baby. Whoever she is. If you love her deeply enough, you'l be able to interpret how important is her smiles when she's happy.

Aside from the above, do shower your partner with gifts occasionally. She just bought me a Zen Stone MP3 for the anniversary. Oh well, fights still happen but i'm doing whatever i can to keep the flames burning! I'm only 18 this year but love can definitely push you to the furthest limits and turn you to someone unexpectable. My friend once told me that i'm one of the sweetest guy around. It's nice to hear but you definitely have to believe that in love, ignorance is not bliss.

there will be no sparks without effort. sparks doesnt come with fresh air or sunshine. both parties need to put it extra effort to spark up their relationship. Never ever take each other for granted. however, it is easier said than done. in every relationship, come to a point, a person will naturally take the other party for granted.

the basic thing we can do here is to constantly remind ourselves to appreciate one another and not to take each other for granted. This reminder alone is good enough as it will leads to other little actions to spark up a relationship such as breakfast in bed or taking the rubbish out or simply snuggle in front of a tv :)

As a wife, one should sometimes relax a little and let the imperfections passed. They may not have lift the toilet seats, but there is no point screaming your lungs out or nagging away. Find ingenious way to get the message across...perhaps you can try purposely pee on the toilet seats too. They will surely get the message when they need to bomb tokyo next time...:p

Well, afterall little girls are made of sugar & spice and little boys are made of.. ermm.... dirt? Inevitable that they are lazy... dirty.... and etc...:p

As for the hubby, instead of sitting like a piece of lard glued to the tv 24/7, make an effort to look at your other half and admire her tired-less effort to ensure your home is forever sweet. sometimes, you need not spend a lot just so to bring back the sparks. Just a simple :

"Honey, I am so thankful that I got you as my wife.... there is no where else I wanna be except here,with you" follow by a hug..
(eventhough we all know very well that u prefer to stick in front of the tv, well just do it.)

Hm... how to keep the spark alive...
Well.. just abit of noticing and appreciation. I massages her foot when she feels tired and she loves it ^^ while dining, she likes to feed me for a few too. Do some cooking for her occasionally specially on special dates like aniversaries and stuff.
Hug her or hold her while watching TV. All those helps =) you don't need to do to the extreme to let her notice coz women will notice even the slightest thing you do for them.

Mom and dad grew up together... knew each other since they were born and still got married. As for me? My longest so called "relationship" with a guy lasted 6 months. Why? Maybe because i'm still young and that probably wasn't love and I just wanted the "taste" of having a relationship. So i'm going to comment on how my parents kept the spark in their relationship when they were engaged, married and post-babies. When daddy was studying overseas and mummy was back home in her country.. he wrote her endless letters and sweet notes on those cute little bookmarks. Mom kept them in a box and reads them very often, even now.. 30 yrs later. And when mom went to join him overseas to study, she stayed in a dorm when she had to cook but dad has food provided, so he would sneak out food for mom every weekend. Because they weren't affluent, he would take mom out on dates.. in his little bicycle. Once he fell and he ripped mom's skirt. Nevertheless, she still married him. Since my mom works for dad now, she sees him 24/7. Yet, she doesn't get sick of him. I've always wondered why. They do everything together even reading newspapers. She would read one in chinese and he would read the english one. Then i realised, it's because they have never changed since they started going out together. They are still the person they are when they fell in love with each other. Mom was never the type to dress up just to go out and then stay at home in sweatshirts. And dad was never pretentious to be a gentleman. He was, is and always will be one. He doesn't just open the doors for mom when they were 21. He opens the doors for her now when he's 50. He doesn't just cook for her when he was 22. He still cooks for her now. She doesnt just tries new recipe for him when she was 21. She still tries to bake cakes for him now. She doesn't wait for him when he comes home or kiss him when he leaves the door when they are newlyweds. 20 years later and she still does the same thing. Every day since I could understand words, i hear my dad calling "honey, I'm home" when he comes home from wherever, without failure. And my mom will be waiting by the front door, without failure. This is what kept their marriage (relationship) for ever. The fact that they did not change a thing about themselves but maintain the person that they are when they first got together. The fact that both my parents are true to each other and never once showed a pretentious side just to get the spark going. And also the fact that they complement each other so well that they don't have to resort to trying to do new things to keep the spark going or to re-light that spark. Their fire is burning brightly and bigger than ever.

major sian-ness

Currently not in any relationship so no comments.

However I would play paintball with my partner. Provided she is in the opposing team.

Har har har

And Kenny, didn't see you at the Terry Fox Run?

its just weird how you think and hope that things will go your way. i understand the 'man time' and i enjoy 'my time' as well.. i go out with my girlfrens and so does my man goes out with his buddies.. but letting a man being with a group of men sometimes can backfire. i suppose it all depends on the situation. i always believe in the saying, 'if u love someone, let him be, and if he comes back to you... he's yours'... but if a man while having his 'man time' and then bump into some other girls 'time'... it may end up being.. 'oh.. my gf dun really hang out with me much anymore... and that girl over there very leng.. cari lain la'... then how? and im telling you.. if a man hanging out with his buddies.. dont you think they act as though they are single?

seems like kenny went on a date with nicolekiss again...*rose rose i love u...* what about 'her'?

True, sparks fly like crazy during weekend getaways :). But here's my opinion:

Keeping the sparks alive is more like doing a chore/running an errand, but the difference is, you do it wholeheartedly and gladly.

It’s quite tricky because making all those efforts seem difficult, but if you really see it as a part of your routines, then it just kinda stuck (for 5 years now). You can’t not please your partner.

My bf likes to surprise me by bringing me char kwe tiao if he goes to that part of the town. I, on the other hand, never fail to bring him his fave kampong snacks when I’m out shopping.

More importantly, keeping the sparks works both ways. You might initiate it, but it takes two hands to clap. So, the key is to be appreciative and reciprocative.

I sometimes demand a fancy dinner, which he hates but does anyway and in return, he asks me to cook, which I hate but do anyway.

But I must admit that sometimes, our efforts go unnoticed, but don’t think that it means nothing. It’s just a delayed explosion, :). So, just do it!! Make it a chore!!

I text him to take the cough syrup out of the blue and I don’t mind if he’s too busy to reply. He doesn’t mind if I never wear the things he bought.

At the end of the day, keeping the sparks really means more than putting pink dresses and wearing contacts , cause hey, sparks flies even when me and my bf play Playstation in our stinky office clothes together. :)

I haven't sleep in days, I think I'm at the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 years. we haven't spoken for a while now.
I have to admit i do love my boyfriend to bits and i know he still loves me too. It seems like we just took a scene out of that movie "The breakup" (the one with Jenniffer Aniston) where suddenly, i'm not sure anymore. How did small things mountain up to sudden endings?
I know what i am saying is going agaisnt the topic "How to keep the sparks Alive". I don't think i am in the position to hand out tips now judging from my situation.
I can honestly say that my years with him were not alwaaays happy. I'm being realistic when i say that there were other girls and commitment issues. However, even through the tough times and the tears. I can safely say that, we always worked it out together.As long as the heart is forgiving and willing, we worked it out.
Coming back to the topic, i would say the best way to keep the sparks alive in a relationship is to COMMUNICATE.
Any couple would be lying if they say that after 1 year or so that they have nothing to complain about. Those Small things that you dislike in your partner are like bricks, that eventually build up after some time and turn into Walls. In my situation, that Wall has become too hard to break down =,(
Find time to talk to your partner about things that are bothering you. Don't try to hide it.
My point is, it's an added bonus in trying to ignite 'Sparks' by giving fancy gifts and going on expensive holidays. But the main thing is to always set time to talk things through, listen, be understanding and when required say "I'm sorry" and be forgiving.

i'm the typical 18 year old who gets in and out of relationships when i was younger then. eventually, i start to learn my lessons and try not to be the one always asking for a break-up when i got tired of the guy.

now i'm in a 3 years and 5 months relationship with my current boyfriend (since we're 15?). oh yes, we can't be too lazy if you want things to work really good, there's always something new in a relationship and both guy and girl should make the effort and appreciate the effort, no complains like: this is costly, too tiring, too many hassles etc.

btw, i realised that efforts always slow down in a marriage and thus reducing that same spark when you fall helplessly in love. i don't wanna lose that chemistry.

sometimes, we can just push those mushy lovey dovey acts aside. yes, we still need them, but not in excess!

just be each other's clown, fool around with your partner and make silly comments. laugh at stupid jokes and let loose! my partner is one hell of a joker and he influenced me too. by being jokers together when we are in stressful situations and even on normal days, we actually love each other even more. but please, be a joker wisely! haha

There was a time when me and my husband of 7 years almost call it quit coz both were taking each other for granted (waaaaay, way for granted). Marriage life was so stale and boring that being in the same room was enough to suffocate us both. Then, something happen that change all that. I had an admirer! Bored to tears with no love and passion in life, I encouraged the guy’s interest. But since I was married and all, I informed my husband beforehand. He seemed unperturbed by it and said as long as I know the boundaries and knows how to take care of myself, he’s okay with it. Shocking? I felt the same way too that time. So since he gave me the green light, I took the advantage and enjoy being admired again. It made me feel beautiful, sexy and wanted. All the feelings that I no longer had when I was with my husband. Then one day, my husband stumble upon the text message the guy sent to me. It was a text telling me how HOT he thinks I am and if I ever become his, he’d do everything in his power to make me happy. I guess the text message was like a cold splash of reality to my husband. He took my hand and said forcefully to stop “this nonsense” with the guy and later said he’s sorry that he has been thoughtless in his husbandly duties and promise to be more attentive with our relationship. He begged me to work together to put the “love” back in our marriage and I agreed. I love him. He will always be the man for me. It was just that we were so preoccupied with our work and all that we were blinded (and not to mention lost) by it. We forgot what it feels to be in love and when we almost lost it, it jolted us back to reality. So I broke off with my admirer. Since then on, our marriage has improved drastically. Now, we tend to appreciate each other more than ever. We thought of many things for us to do to add spice back in our marriage. I see my husband in a new light especially when he pushed aside his male ego to beg me to come back and work out our marriage. I guess that was my way to see that he loves me still and I made him promised as not to get too comfortable with our relationship as so we won’t fall back to the old routine of taking each other for granted.

nurulhafilah_jualihi@yahoo.com

Hey Kenny! You may or may not know me. My name is Viola and i'm 13 yrs old.
I have never been in a long-term relationship before.
In fact, I have never been in any relationships.

But i guess the key that get a relationship going is just to go with the flow
But it mainly depends on HER/HIM. If she's in the mood, then go for it! if she's not just back off for now and try again a different time.
Just remember that you're not going to get anywhere with a "i'm not good enough for her/him" mentality. Make sure you have a good self-esteem.

If i had a bad relationship, i would want my parter to patch it up by having a picnic at night under the stars or even better, a full moon.
It would help a lot if he apologizes for his mistakes and end with a simple yet sweet 'I love you'[and meant it, of course!]

It would also be great if he surprises me with a bouquet of my favourite flowers once in a while. I wouldn't want him to spend so much money on unnecessary expenditures for me but once in a while its ok laa =D

i have actually so much more ideas but then again, i have not been in a relationship so i wouldn't know if it would work =)
I love your posts Kenny, you rock!

p.s.: just curious again =D are you dating Nicole? its ok if you dont wanna answer this question. I respect your privacy.

Again, YOU ROCK KENNY SIA!

-Viola

my oh my kenny..most of the comments are so bored and going like bla bla bla. i giv u 5 here

1- space = give each other some space..when apart, both will miss each other [this is only applicable if u are a good bf/gf, if not this will be a disaster when ur partner find out life will b much better without u]

2-being naughty = hey men like naughty women right? especially when they own u..and i lovee being naughty with my HubY..[its good for both so he wont find other cheeky girl]

3-talk n talk n talk = share EVERYTHING that happen around.out of topic? hey i just love to lay down on the bed and just saying nonsense things like what life would be if we are politicians, vampire hunter,famous celebrity, have power like x-men[err spiderman,batman n superman are excluded]and it always ended up im sleeping in his arms. working hours-sms will do

4-fun sex - no need to explain..typical plain sex are so boring..so both find out new way to make it fun.

5-make him feel er'useful'- yes i have my own money to buy things..to pay the rent..to pay the bills..but i do asked him money for me to spent, err for me to waste actually..i tell him how good he are in sex,how good he smell,how my night so empty when he's not around..how i appreciate having him as a husband rather than having useless 'mat rempit',told him everything that let him know how precious he is to me. I dont think men likes women that is too independent like we dont really need him?

er and this one extra especially for girls..dress up for ur partner no matter how long u've been with them..u dont want ur partner to choose other girl just bcoz u r so outdated. Sexy outfit while with him also will do. We should have a good personality..dont make him lose face or he will lose love for us..

Many people here mention about effort, but the fact is, you need the spark to make the effort worthwhile.

Is there anyone reading this manage to keep it alive in a long-term relationship? By long term I meant Beyond 10years, and considering a marriage will last a lifetime of beyond 40 years, is it really possible?

in my opinion i think the 1st and foremost is there MUST be a mutual understanding between the partners and all childish behaviour like being hot-tempered, unreasonable, jelousy and etc must be put aside. Normally gals want attentions so does some guys. But in order to spark alive a long-term relationship each individual have to play their part properly as in if you want people to be concern bout you, you have to take the first step to be concern bout them but don't overdo it. The mistake most couple do is being over concern and over protective. So yeah.