guy should take the first move.. although it contradicts with "lady's first"..

It depends if I'm desperate enough~ if he looks like Brad Pitt what the heck! I'll give it a go!

In fact I was the one who made the first move with my boyfriend~

If I waited for him *pheesh* we would still be msn-ing wondering if we like each other or not~!

DO IT PEOPLE~! buwahaha

lol. so farnyyyyy~~~

girls should make the 1st move....cuz girl naturally very sampat wan ma...sure tell every1 if she menolak the boy...but boys diff...=D

i forgot my email.. =p

Well, even if the guys should make the first move, the girls should at least give some reasonable hints. It's not like the guy can read the girl's mind. Maybe she could be curling her hair, hoping for the other guy that is standing right behind him or something.

Like what Kenny said it's true that if the girl don't have interest in that particular guy, she'll like generalize that poor guy with all the negative thoughts (pervert lar, trying too hard larr, yet they themselves not that perfect also). Maybe girls in general are more egoistic than guys when it comes to making first contact with the opposite gender. Come on girls, just be more friendly (unless they are irritating the hell out of you). It's not like you have to marry him by showing some positive respond.

I don't think girls should make the first move in Asia. Why?
There's a rabid double standard in Asia. Though this double standard exists in the West as well, nowhere does it burn more strongly than in Asia.
A boy can muck around and sow his wild oats, everyone is somewhat 'understanding' of his position. Finally, he can settle down with a 'nice girl' who never got the chance to do the exact same thing he did, who's lied to and cheated by a guy who has had his fill of smut and sin, and finally settles down with some virgin girl to 'bear the children'. Selfish, self-obsessed and very, very cheap shot.
While a girl who does the same thing the boy does is ostracized, talked about behind her back, and doesn't get the same 'nice boy' the guy can readily pick and choose from plenty of double standard families who practice the same thing.
Fathers make sure their daughters are 'clean' and their sons are free to wreak havoc. This cycle is further perpetuated. It's sickening.
Men should be real men, shape up and stop thinking one head at a time. It's time to be real men, and just take responsibility for the crap they shove around.
They should stop expecting girls to conform to their sickening double standard. So stop being such ninnies and for goodness sake just ask the girl out and stop hoping for girls to ask you out so that you can get her to pay for your date (ever heard of double-dutching?) and get her to *want* to sleep with you or chio you, PLEASE!

haiz part of why its so good to be a guy is that we get to CHOOSE our girls. thats why the girl a guy is with always ends up way hotter than him. girls that make the first move on u will probably be uglier than u la...u want ugly girl meh?

i can totally understand where you're coming from mate. been there, done that.

However, i still think that despite all of that, us GUYS should still make the first move. I see it as a personal challenge.. to see if I do have what it takes and/or if i need to brush up on certain dating skills. Women are attracted to confidence. They can sniff it the minute you walk into the club/room. If you just gonna sit and wait, then chances are, that girl's gonna be scooped by another guy who has bigger balls than you. Waddya have to lose?

So set the ego aside, be confident and do-the-right-thing. =)

I totally agree with you, Kenny! xD

I don't see any reasons that a girl should not ask a guy out if she is interested. Like what you said, it's the new millenium. Girls wants to be seen as equals whether at home or at work. Both area females had proven to be quite successful. So why not take another step further? Who knows, maybe females are much better than males in asking the other gender out on a date?

girl first or boy first also no problem la...gossip so wat? most important is we tried. At least we know we got them or not.
Otherwise, down the road 20yrs, we would have this "I should have been that Datin so and so if i had made the move"....lols

Oi, i've developed the theory of the greater loss:

If a guy makes the first move, he's a desperado/loser. If a girl makes the first move, she's cheap/easy.
If a guy is a desperado/loser, he'll still be able to 'get' a woman because of the 9 girl: 1 guy ratio. If a girl is labelled cheap/easy, because of the 1:9 ratio theory AND the society's unwritten, conventional outlook on 'women-who-makes-the-first-moves', she will end up umarried, wrinkled and childless. So what if a guy is labelled desperado/loser, at worst, he can always be the world's greatest blogger (pun intended) ;p - no offense, KS.

thus, conclusion, it's far difficult being a woman. Bastards, want us to give birth somemore want us to make the first move. Women will make the first move when you guys are willing to have a friggin' crying ball of being crawling out of your asses!

People tell me that women often confuse men with our emotions, signals and such. As for who should make the first move, it depends on the individual, really.

Women should save these Men the extra trouble by explicitly rebuffing unwanted approaches, to firmly state a strong, simple NO instead of saying YES to avoid further disturbances. I know it is difficult to do. Just as rapport building has a good reputation, explicitness applied by women in this culture has a terrible reputation. A woman who is clear and precise is viewed as cold, or a bitch, or both.

There are some people who are known to view females as the cheaper, more desperate, immoral kind when we make the first move. However, if some of the XX species have SPINES and could care less about what the hoi polloi has to say, she will make her move on her man, regardless of what they have to say. This, I find respectable, brave, and honorable.

There are also lots of single women in the world who have yet to spontaneously combust due to the lack of the presence of a penis. On a side note, it annoys me to see women and girls pretend they couldn't find the business end of a power drill or a spatula as if it was lodged in their brain stems just to stroke male egos. Girls, you are not useless. Deal with it.

If you see a man you have your eyes on, GO FOR HIM. Do not sit around whining and drowning in your own little shallow pool of delusional hope that someday a prince will come proposing on your door with his white horse.

As for certain stereotypes of guys who are are always complaining and whining about how they cannot get a girlfriend or a partner, STOP fucking whining and maybe DO SOMETHING for a change? Like.. actually MAKING THE MOVE? Dumbass. You know what your problem is and how to solve it. If you don't do anything about it, your loss. You've got no sympathy from any of us females.

Often do we hear Couldn't, wouldn't, mustn't, shouldn't from the mouths of either females and males when asked to make the first move. WRONG! - Those words are the laments of the spineless. The right way should be I can and I will, but not because I must or I should!

For example:

Sad, depressed, timid, clingy, desperate little Peter may have an obvious crush on a female; and yes he agrees with everything she has to say. But sexy, confident Johnny has the GUTS to ask her out; and that really makes all the difference. People are wrong: The size of a man's penis is unimportant. What matters is how big his balls are.

So for guys who are always only *THINKING* of making the first move but NEVER seem to get there, maybe its time to actually PUT your balls in your pants and USE THEM for once.

girls,if your confidence level is rock solid,u've a strong personality,open-minded & adventurous,then i say,go for it!
i've met & gone out with different men & yes,i was the one who made the first move.what have u got to lose anyway?
by the way Kenny,i met u at KLIA yesterday ;)

read your post. and i just have to disagree... see, not every girl does what u say... if they are matured enough, she'll just say no in a good way and thats it. or she'll offer to be friends or for u to get to know her better.. i know thats what i'll do..

asking girls to make the first move is not entirely wrong...... IF the girl has the guts.. see, girls mature faster than guys. and sometimes when a girl make the first move, even though the guy has the same feelings but being influence by his friends, he might just turned the girl down, spread stuff about her to his friends and show the messages she sent to him... making her the laughing stock of her his friends. that aint so nice right?

some girls tend to make the first move.. like my friend, she ALWAYS makes the first move on guys and not once did she get accepted. in fact, one of the guy that she like even asked me to act as his girlfriend (since i rejected him) just to shake her off...

in my opinion.. guys who make the first move will definitely benefit more instead of waitin for girls to make the first move. like u said, how the hell are we girls supposed to know if the guy is interested?
--- he teased u?
--- play with u?

and then when u thought that u had it all figured out. he flat out reject u..hmmm.. =) i'm saying this from experience... i've also witness stuff like this happening... so... thats about it.. hahahah.. its like i'm writing an essay huh.. =D

ahh~ the battle of the sexes yet again ;)

For Guys: It's kinda right what Kenny says. Besides, i think *not stereotyping here* AngMohs are more to the guy-buys-girl-drink-in-bar thingy. The best thing to do is to LOOK-SEE and decide if the girl is the 'gossiping' type or not lar~ Usually, girls that are not interested won't adjust their tops and uncross their legs purposely. ;D

For Gurls: It happens sometimes that girls ask guys out. It's a pretty good idea too, since guys are sometimes as clueless as...clueless. :D

My Verdict: When u First met, Girls do the asking is better. BUT! When in a relationship, Guys should be the one with ideas X)

*p.s. i'm no expert

time to make a move on kenny ^^

I think there is nothing wrong for the girl to make the first move. One cannot forever wait the guy to approach. What if the guy you like doesn't like you? So, you wait? How long you want to wait???
It's also better to get it over with fast. The longer you wait, the more hurt you'll get. It's true. Just tell him you like him. Maybe he fancies you too. If he rejects you, then too bad la.. life goes on.
And I agree that guys are not as 'kepo' as girls.. say if you ask some guy out and was rejected, they generally don't go around telling people that the girl asked him out.
However(not trying to contradict what I was saying before),girls are more shy than guys. That's a fact, despite nowadays most girls are more independent. It would still be nicer for guys to be making the first move. Hehe..

Guys definitely should make the first move, PERIOD.

Any guy who doesn't have the courage to go up to a girl and ask her out is a plain wuss. You want your woman, you get your butt off the fantasy couch and just ask her out.

Of course, before you even think about asking her, you must ask yourself what are your chances. Put yourself in her shoes. Why should she go out with a punk like yourself ? Give yourself 10 good reasons (if you can't reach 5, then don't even bother!).

This part goes out to the ladies. If a guy comes along and asks you out (nicely), for goodness sake, give him a break. If you are planning on rejecting him, do it gently. There's no need for sarcasm or harsh words, just be sincere, firm but direct.

I've seen enough cases where the girl actually does the asking and now they are happily married. So ladies, there's no harm in doing your part either. Others will just perceive you as being assertive, willing to take control and standing up for your man (which can be quite a turn on for some).

As Bob Marley aptly puts it, "No woman, no life". Have a good day and thanks for wasting 2 mins of your time.

Now get back to work ! :)

there is no should or shouldnt in making first move..but if u feel lik making it or when u really cant wait for it
why dont u juz do it?..no matter guy or girl
so wheres ur gut ppl??...=D

KENNY!
I just confessed today to this guy that I've liked for 5 months =D
Turns out that he liked me too.
I'M DAMN HAPPY!

How apt your post is.

"And even if they do, you won't see us going back to our mates and gossip all over you. It's just not "the man thing" to do."

very wrong..

when i was in the U, i casually said i like some guy. when this guy found out bout it somehow, he shunned me like wat.. ei hallo, i simply say say only, what for you so serious?!

somehow his friends all knew bout it and i got teased a lot. and now, i dun even wanna bump into him on the street!

if the situation of your-crush-telling-his/her-mates happens, the gal is more likely to be ridiculed cuz the gals aren't supposed to make the first move (as per society's norm) !

so gals making the first move will lose double face.. i object!

eh-hem, if brad pitt comes along.. now that's a different story...

guy or girl...
to me it doesn't matter whichever side it is, the world should be fair but then sadly most of the time it isn't.

relationships should not be taken as a game because it involves feelings and emotions. hearts that have been broken are hard to mend for some people. to those people out there who doesn't take relationships seriously shame on you.

when a person makes the first move it usually involves a lot of courage especially if its the first time for that person. everybody is scared of being rejected and also the fear of being put to shame.

although many would think that a girl would be hurt easily and thats why a guy should make the first move, but then it doesn't mean that guys won't get hurt too. well 'generally' guys should be able to handle their rejections better but not every guy is like that. there are always exceptions and not everyone is the same, just because some are different doesn't mean that they are weaker or better than others, its just that we are different in some or many ways.

Well, i would say that guys should make the first move to get the girl's number first if the guy really wants to know the girl better. come on guys, you were given balls for a reason right?

and for girls who likes a guy, if giving quite a number of hints to that guy isn't enough to make him express his feelings towards you then either that guy doesn't want the relationship or that that guy is not sensitive enough to understand you. i won't suggest that girls should make the first move unless you really really want that guy so much.
i would also like to make a request to all guys and girls out there, please don't intentionally hurt the other's feelings. it may be fun to do so but then you wouldn't want someone to ruin your life and to be played as a toy by others do you?

i would say... guys make the first move!!!
yeah!
I'm the kind of girl who loves to be noticed, i mean, who doesn't?
But sadly, other than having a boyfriend for 5 years, males courting me / buying me drinks/ complete strangers complementing me for my looks....my 10 fingers are sufficient enough to do the calculation. and those 10 fingers include all times since birth till 22 years of mine.

Somebody?
Buy me drinks please?

HAHAHAHAHA. nicole's ur model now...

In this day and age, I believe women are ALREADY making the first moves.

In fact, women who make the first move are no longer viewed as "desperate" or "aggresive" but "sexy" and "confident of herself".

In all honesty, I believe women have more guts than men and are better at small talk so the odds for women to make the first move is obvious.

- 'Nuff said.

i say it's an equal fair share. i actually agree that at times women should make the first move. i've done it and i'm still stuck with the person. well, that doesn't mean the men get to sit back and kick off their shoes and hope to God a woman asks him out. please do the poor woman a favour and drop some hints. for example a smile instead of a killer come hither cover line macho look. applies for women too (not the macho part). batting your eyelashes or making sure you're pretty like a hindi movie doesn't exactly make it clear to men. so both ways if you're interested with the right signals and no not by scaring someone with a bad come hither look it might just work. so i guess at the end it depends who's got the courage to make the first move after dropping them hints.

and no doesn't mean that i made the first move i'm wearing the pants in the relationship. haha.

i have my opinions but i think i'll keep it for my own post.. hehe.. btw.. this post here n the one nicole posted are both contradicting each other.. is this a contest of sorts? cheers

In this era, there is nothing wrong with a girl making the 1st move. I believe in creating your own opportunity and grabbing the happiness that come along. If one just sit and wait, it will never happen. You cant force someone to accept you. But of course, you will never know if you never confess.
The main thing is, as long as there is "feel", just go along. Treat some1 whole heartedly. Even if things dont work out, you learn something. And when the next relationship come, you know better what to do.
My view = both man and woman can make a 1st move. As long as you are interested in that man / woman . Grab your own happiness. If you dont put in effort for your own lifelong happiness, nobody will. Ask your mum to get your husband / wife?? sorry..this is year 2007

i think it depends. but i seriously think girls can make the first move. nothing to lose if the guy is like so nice and caring and all that. i do that sometimes. and it does work. but we girls do get rejected too sometimes. it takes two to tango anyway. right?

4 words are enough to state my point.

Adam came before Eve. =)

whoever is interested in d other person 1st should make the first move and not wait there for the sky to drop u his or her handphone number... Gudness... Girls should stop hinting too... Guys should juz go ahead and ask and do not use any pick up lines.. they suck so much.. lol.. tht's all i'm gonna say i guess...

Girls dont necessarily have to make the first move by asking the number or trying to act all flirty. I think girls could just approach a guy that they think the guy might be able to 'click' with them by just making friends first.. starting a conversation.. if not ngam later mah stop contacting each other as a friend lor.. both also nothing to lose at all..

anyway kenny, if only lar i got that perfume from hugo ar, im sure all the girls will make their first move on me whaahahahha!

Actually, I think I agree with Kenny's opinion that girls should make the first move. Most guys are usually too far interested in the girl's looks (for college guys), to actually realize they like a different girl. So the girl in a sense, is more mature and should know who they like and make a move for it. However, here in Malaysia, we have been so accustomed to seeing movies where they condition our thinking where the guys are the ones who ask the girls out that having a girl ask a guy out is rare.

I myself have been first to make a move on one of my exes. So, yea, it was hard at the time to actually be the one to make the first move, but he was just such a blur person that if I waited any longer, I think I might have just grown a beard.

Well, that's my take on this.

Personally i think that if you want a girl to approach you, you'll need to play your own cards right. You need to send out the right signals to show that you're not just like any other guys that have approached her before and ended up being someone who wasnt worth the trouble at all. Agree?
Girls can send out subtle signals..why cant we guys do the same? But of course, we havta learn to pick up on signals as well.

And obviously its all context dependent, some girls know what they want and they go for it..so there are actually girls out there who approach guys whom they are interested in. While some girls need to be "nudged" before they are willing to make a move.
So what we need to understand is what they are looking for, and to show them that you're different..because obviously, even us guys dont go for girls that seem mediocre to us.

Now is already 2007, stop living in the past. Both gender should make try to make the first move if he/she is really interested.

Guys should make the first move. That's how it has always been and its more romantic that way. Since all girls dream about are being the princess in some fairy tale with prince charming proposing.
And are you sure about guys not gossiping with his friends that a girl has just asked him out? I'm sure guys with their super huge ego will go boast around that a girl had just hit on him..a hot one that is.
Maybe coz you guys are tired of being rejected that's why pushing the responsibility on us girls now.haha

girls or guys making the initial move is an equal fuzz..
to hell wit couples, let's just stay single forever!

life is too short for second guesses and cheesey pickup lines. go for it girls - grab life by the balls!

Gosh. I'm think a guy. I always make the 1st move lor.. =(
I'll rather find someone I like than wait for someone I don't like. Waste of time..

Hey, go to Nicole's blog for a better chance to win the prize!!
At the time of writing this, she only has 7 comments as aopposed to kenny's 42.

Hm... I still thinking guy shud make the first move but it still depends rite? Some of the guys might be freaking out by the gals who make the first move. But, some guys just to shy to ask the number from the gals. So, it just depends. =) I m the kind of gal who will sit back n wait for the guys approach to me. But, i will be aggressive once i think we are in the right channel. lol! Somehow, i had been turned down by someone. So sad~

Absolutely! We've gone past the days where only guys do the work. If women have come so far as to have Destiny's Child sing a song about "Independent Women", what's the difficulty in saying "Hey, I like you"? Save the trouble and uncertainty, just let us know!!!

What about boy-boy or girl-girl relationships?

I make the first move on my boyfriend, telling him over the phone that i like him...hehe...now, we're living together and it's great!

Yeah, if a girl likes a guy...why not make the 1st move...later if kena rampas by other girl then no chance liaw lor....

ok here's the deal. gender stereotypes aside, there's always the fear of being humiliated and rejected.

i guess reading the signals before or during the first move is made might help, and then cutting your losses if it doesnt go your way, or trying to act nonchalant if it does, may help you salvage some dignity when you're putting yourself out there.

maybe in asia especially, its quite a risk to take to go up to a complete stranger and ask for a number because A) people tend to have a defensive stance to strangers and B) if you looked like kenny in his younger days...aih..the gods of dating be with you (sorry la kenny :P)

the stakes are high when you take such a chance by making the proverbial FIRST MOVE, but at least you'll know, right? rather than let that fly girl/guy pass you by and wonder about it. it wont exactly help if your mates are there egging you on to do something.

and if your mates are there egging you on, they'll help you pick yourself up and move on. its nothing tragic, it just wasnt your game that day. plenty more chances.

time and place also plays a part. maybe you'd have a good chance picking someone up if you were walking a cute friendly dog (there are ppl who do that) and it works too. but if you're smashed on booze and your breath stinks of alcohol...may the gods of dating help you still.

being genuine is a BIG plus. please dont say things like "is that a ladder in your tights or is that a stairway to heaven?" cause if you do, you deserve to get giggled at by a whole crew of giggly girls.

i agree with you kenny. Girls should take the first move. Guys losing face is like losing their future but not for the girls.

Hehe... I can't help but agree with you on this one, Kenny. I wish girls would take the first move, coz I as hell won't... :P

this must be a sign cuz this happened to me last saturday at a club.hahah.personally,i'm rejection phobic which is basically the reason i don't make the first move(and also cuz of a really bad experience.heh).in fact,i much prefer if guys always made the first move.there is truth in both sides, but i'm thinking that we're still stuck in the chivalrous era of 'men-MUST-make-the-first-move-otherwise-you're-ghey'.although some guys may be open to it,some may not and this insecurity kinda hinders us girls.however,i did make the first move on my last boyf so i do take chances sometimes.heheh.i don't think guys are losers when they approach me even though they're ugly-ass cuz it definitely takes balls to approach a random chiq.although,it all comes down to good looks or good charisma cuz no one likes a fug with no personality.hahah.besides,if guys get rejected,their ego might be a little bruised and you're probably never gonna see that bitch again.who wants a gossipy air-head anyway?but for girls,we get emotionally bruised(for awhile) and we lose confidence cuz we deeply indulge in chivalry(sadly).besides,you're better off being a rejected loser/desperado than a rejected AND easy slut.in the end,its a give-and-take situation depending on the individual.sometimes guys give,but most of the time girls take.unbalanced,but not tragic.eventhough us 'women' wanna be treated like equals,we're really still little girls inside^_~

no stress..just chillax..gossiping is not THAT traumatizing.just have a little patience for us to embrace the 'new woman'.it should come sooner than you know judging by the influence this blog has=)
xoxo

despite asking her phone number or asking her out,guys you still have plenty of way when approaching a girl u want(if you cant accept rejection from girl)for example you can start flirting by asking direction.Regarding who should make first move,i thing man should make a first move cause its thier nature to do that unless they nat man enough.

I don't think getting rejected definitely means you'll lose face. First, if a guy has the balls to walk up to a girl, he should have been prepared to take NO for an answer. I personally disagree with using pick-up lines. Its corny. Guys, be creative, try to instigate interest for her to actually talk to you before asking if you could take her out etc etc. One more important thing why I disagree that women should make the first move (although I am a guy) is because, guys, like many have commented on, would have their balls swell to the size of coconuts (no pun intended to you, Kenny). Furthermore, and this is just my own opinion, guys enjoy the the chase rather than the reward. The more harder it took to get what you wanted, the more a guy would appreciate his prize. Anyone disagree? One more point Kenny, the reason why there are so many single men and women around is because, it is human nature for us to think of consequences before action. If you think, you're gonna get rejected, you will go in without confidence of succeeding, and portraying confidence does a whole lot to everybody's first impressions. So everytime a guy approaches a girl, he has to remember, his emotions are gonna fxxk him up before he even starts. So let's not get carried away...

Just because people are asking for numbers doesn't necessarily mean they're interested in you.

Being a girl, I have been the first to make moves before. That's cause I don't believe in regrets and I don't like to wonder "What if?".

But I guess, being the female, we stand to misunderstand. A guy can be really nice to you but just treat you like a sister or a really good friend and have absolutely no intentions of going beyond that. And once the confession has been made, it's just hard to face him again, without reliving the awkward moment when you told him your feelings and he goes "Oh.".

While I'm not saying this does not apply to the male side, I just feel it more prominent as females.

I guess it's still best for girls to show their interest through flirtation, and guys to pick up on hints. And when there's a "feel" that the feelings are mutual, either party can voice out.

So my final answer would be "It depends.". But being me, I'll still go for it, if I think I stand a chance.

Yes!yes!yes!I totally agree!If I meet someone I really like I'll make the first move!God knows what I would miss out if I didn't!

i don't think a girl should make the first move because seriously, guys(mostly teenagers) these days gossip more than girls do. In their gossip session, they DO tell their mates about girls making their first move on them. Then the mates will think that this girl is cheap and thus leaving a bad impression on her. Guys should make the first move cause everybody knows it's a natural thing and it's more common for them to face rejection. They'll get over it soon enough but girls, they'll have the memory of being rejected ever even after their marriage. And plus, people wouldn't look down on guys who faced rejection because it is too common. If a girl faced rejection, people will think of 'what's wrong with her?' or 'maybe she's too ugly to even ask a guy out'. But then again, it doesn't matter who asked who out first, just make the first move nicely.

Oh and i just love american pie especially a line said by one of the guys which is 'suck me beautiful'. lol

The interested party should have a go, be it guy or girl.
There are too little fishes in the sea.

i dont think is appropriate for girls to make the first move eventhough this is the new millenium. maybe i am a conservative girl, but i think for every girls they do want the guy to make the first move. this is because it is a very good feeling if the guy make the first move first. we girls will think that we are attractive and appreciate. so i think girls shouldnt make the first move.

What nonsense. People who say girls shouldn't make the first move are obviously men who think girls lack the capacity to do so, or girls who are finding an excuse for their lack of courage.

OMG!!!Kenny...i lost my hp...would u mind to giv me again?

well, it's arguable either boy/girl should make their 1st move...

in my opinion, i would prefer girl because guy always dun understand wat female *want therefore if a guy have their move be4 a female .. we may disappointed the female... because we dun meet the quality of demand

=p

jie

I reckon Kenny is right. Girls should sometimes make the first move too, surely making there less miserable singles out there for sure =P

It is not wrong to say girls should be the ones making the first move. I mean its good that something we guys, get to be picked up in a club. LOL. That sounded wrong. Even though its a good thing that the girl makes the first move, but wouldnt that make u feel sexually dominated or challenged. Well, what i mean is i believe that this situation of who makes the first move determines the sexual attraction. Let's say if the girl comes up to you with a totally cool pickup line, you got flat out and thrown yourself to her. Isn't that a big too easy and not too mention you should be the one with the cool pick up lines, there is no 'hard to get' thing there that every guy desires. When you go out, you don't expect some girl throwing herself to you. You wanna go get that girl. You wanna be challenged. You wanna know what is the mystery with her. Not the other way around. Come on man, buck up guys. Go figure some pick up line that would blew her away.

Girls never know what they really want. If you don’t make the first move, she thinks you are a wuss or simply don’t have the confidence therefore making you less attractive. If you do then there will be those who will think you are some no good horny bastard trying to get into their panties. But Girls hate it when the guy they are attracted to doesn't make a move. You can never win.

Then just make it happen. Yes. Guys should just make the first move. So what if you face rejection? It’s just a girl you thought you might like her company with. There is no guarantee that you were going to get lucky or she was going to be the mother of your children after all.

Oh My God...what's the big deal here man. If HE likes HER - go and ask her. If She likes HIM - go and ask HIM. What's the story about being Asian? being a girl? being a guy? Chivalry out the door? You better not bet on it...The world IS changing whether you like it or not. So change with it...or be left behind.

But then again, unlike girls (as Kenny very well put it) guys don't go round telling HIS friends that a girl approached them and whatever that transpired in between. If at all that happens it will ONLY be because that guy wants a second opinion on that girl from his very best friend in the world because he actually thinks he likes her!! Geddit?

So girls, don't worry about your ego being crushed (like how you do guys), we guys (oops), aren't that bad. We are straightforward...want means want, dowan means dowan lah...

It's definitely time to ask Nicole. If she wore glasses that tie wouldn't make her look so hot.

yea right!girl shud make the first move..so kenny,wat's your phone number?=P

i will never make the first move... never... im too scared of being laughed at!!

First move is about how you feel and whether you have the courage to make it or not. I personally don't think it has anything to do with the sexes. In this modern day, it can either be the guy or the girl who makes the first move. It really comes down to whether you have the guts to approach the person and ask for their number. Also, whether you are prepared for the consequences that comes out of making the first move (aka. BIG TIME REJECTION). I say anyone can do it. JUST DO IT! Doesn't matter whether you have an appendage or not.

Though I`m all in favour for ladies first, I don`t think it`s necessary for girls to make the first move.

The world is modern, but not modern enough to accept 'can I buy you a drink?' from a girl. Because you`ll immediately think`s she`s a prostitute,(and you`ll end up paying for the drink anyway).

Girls have just as much to lose as guys. So stick to the norms. Girls giving a wink is good enough. If you really can't pick up the signals, then you should go back to high school and learn growing up again.

Rule of universe, guys should always make the first move. In my own humble opinion, guys that hope that the girls make the first move on them are sore losers. Not only these guys are gutless to make the first move, yet hoping for the girl that he liks to come upon. That's a little too much i would say.

On the flip side, girls that think that someone is special should not be sitting there flipping hair. You deserve who you like/want. So go up there and take action.

For any sexes that made the move, if it does work out, good on ya! You were meant to be together. If it doesn't, there's a whole forest out there. needless to give up because of just 1 tree.

I know i might be sitting on the fence here (i.e. guys / girls making first move). But hey guess what? It's a whole new world out there. Everyone is working their ass off just to get a better living for themselves and hopefully for everyone he/she loves. So why should anyone not be entitled to the rights of taking action of whom he/she likes?

of coz both parties can start the move first, now we living in the modern world and it doesnt really cares about your gender that who should start the moves first. But for my opinion girlz more to giving signals to the guyz when come to flirting and guyz are more to action. kenny sia i need that perfume leh because with that perfuma maybe i can send the signal to the female nose so that they will send their body language signal to me.
riduanteo@gmail.com

It takes two hands to clap, one hand claps makes no sound.

I had my own personal experience, yes in certain cases a woman should make the move and to see if the man accepts her love, vice versa.

I got to say, like women they respect men who goes straight to the point and tells out his feelings to them. Men do respect women even more when she makes the first move by saying "I'm in love with you."

My conclusion? Is all about chemistry. It all started with an eye contact, a little chat, chemistry starts- love appears. Most of the time men does the first move, but in our world today; Men and women are equal. So women can voice out the first move as well. :)

Girl r shy...never dare to make the first move.

Yo! Kenny! sounds like you have a crush on someone.. hehehe.. Let me guess.... Nicole eh? hahahaha. Both of you look like a couple. Go kenny! Don't muak muak too much, hohohoh.. by the way, i think nicole have crush on u too!

Girls making the first move seems so outgoing at times, but we do live in a very outgoing world now, people are always talking about male-female equality, why can't girls make the first move first if this is so? Why do we have to give way to a girl to do everything first well in most times the famous "ladies first" term but when we comes to picking up guys, girls will always take the ladies first rule, that is the ladies needs to be approached first. I don't think it's really suitable at this century mentality. People should change their mentality. I'm all for girls approaching a guy first. Why can't a girl do that? My guess is it eventually boils down to how much a person wants the other person. If I really want a gal I would go all out for her

The problem with guys......

If you treat him nice, he will say you are in love with him. If you don't, he will say you are proud.

If you dress nicely, he says you are trying to lure him. If you dont, you are kampung girl.

If you dont accept his love, he will say you are haulien. If you do, then he will leave you.

If you argue with him, he says you are stubborn. If you keep quiet, he say you no brains.

If you are smarter than him, he will lose face. If he's smarter than you, he is great.

If you hurt him, you are cruel. If he hurts you, you are too sensitive.

In a relationship, it doesn't matter who should be making the first move or even who is right or who is wrong. Y

ou just need to find a person that's the total opposite of what i have just said. Someone who cares and respect you for who you are.

Only then, you know you have found the jewel of your heart. Hold on to him and never let him go.

It's all depends on what you think on this issue as this thing is kinda individual and different for everyone. Some may think it's a wise decision while some may think it's not.
For me, I feel that we as Asian gals should keep our heads up as being the traditional and yet maintain our modern touch. We shouldn't follow how the gals in the other part of the world are doing. If we like someone, we do not need to be that bold and ask for his number. There are various ways such as striking a good conversation and humour or even a good joke will do. I'm sure if the guy enjoyed your company, he'll definately ask for your number. If he didn't, then clearly he is not interested and we should move on to the next guy! :p

I Say Just give me that HUGO XY and XX Perfume, why...you ask? Well, there's no point talking about who should take that first move if we don't smell HUGO good!

By giving me both the HUGO XX and XY Perfume, it would provide the absolute successful platform to propose to the person of the opposite sex.

For my case, since I am a male, I will use the HUGO XY on myself before making the move on the girl. Now I believe just as I am confident about HUGO, HUGO would be just as confident about their product that it would make a girl fall for the guy who uses it just because it smells that good!

And as a first gift for that relationship...what better present to give the girl than a bottle of HUGO XY? Makes her smell just as good!

A couple using HUGO fragrance perfume commands just as much attention as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walking side by side!

Don't you think?

Generally though, I think that guys should take that first move, but if the girls are desperate enough, why hold back? Right Kenny?

50% :Agree
50% :Not Agree

yes!girl should make the first move,
but not all girl are brave enough to ask...
cause girl get shy very fast
but some of friends are brave enough to ask
but they had been backstab by their friends for being so confident for themself...
some of them get rejected too.
It is true that the person who you love will backstab you if ur face are ugly too.I think most of the people care about people faces and body shape & also their career first...
The first thing we should know before dating with someone is to know him/her antitude ,background, and also how much they care and understand for you....

owh, i TOTALLY agree! im about to ask this guy's number but i lack the confidence, can I have this Hugo perfume to spice up my self esteem? kekeke =.=

i confessed .and is not ashamed of the fact that i confessed to guys.you can call me desperado or "cheap" or whatever...this is the 21st century..and if we were to talk about equal rights and all..i believe both sexes has their rights to make advancement on whoever they like.(not going overboard of course)

"What's worse, if we fail, next time she'll start avoiding us. "
tee hee..i think girls get that too from guys..and so it's a fair world out there.

and oh sometimes the answer is as simple as yes or no.

hey man, couldn't be a much better time to writeup this entry.... this is exactly what i have in mind but as God forbid, i dont have your creativities and now God has chosen you to write up this entry to at least show some light at the end of the very dark tunnel to all the lonely souls out there.

I definitely hope that this entry will awakens the girls out there and making them realize just how much men can suffer.......

My opinion is guy should take their first move. any hint to ask a number? instead of asking her number why don't you give her your number and wait for a reply in a patient and gentlement attitude. do you realize that by doing so you could prove your courage while prevent from being rejected. if she's interested with you then you'll stand chances to date her after she message or call you. if she didn't entertain you at all you could just ignore it plus you don't feel hurt as much as being rejected face to face. i've done some survey by asking most of my girl-friend and most of them agreed that if there isn't interest on him then there's a tag "pervert" or "don't 1 face" for him. girls gossip around when guys ask for number is due to they wanna prove how "high class" she is. they tend to ignore how the guys feeling because she has no feel on him at all. so guys...never give up and be confident with yourselve because if you don't give a try you wouldn't know what's the result will be. in other words you're a loser!

first of all,
i think that men and women have a choice of making the first move..if that person is those people that are shy to make the move and go by the "guys should make the first move" rules(is by the way ancient) may loose that person..you might end up with that person for the rest of your life..who knows?so who cares?make the first move..

-angelina-
by the way..i want that that HUGO PERFUME..
i NEED it..

Hey what you mentioned just in this entry is known as the Sadie Hawkins's way. when A girl has to ask a guy out

Actually, I thought you're proposing Nicole. Lol... Whoever who make the first move, no one should get hurt. Love happen in an innocent way, in a pure way.. So, no one should make fun of it.

Being able to confess to the one you love is a brave attitude. It doesn't matter a girl or a guy who make the first move. The way we show our love and how we can convience the person that we love to be another half is what matter the most.

So... when are you going to make the first move uhh? Or she..? Lol...

I say we only live once- so I think it really doesn't matter who makes the first move.

Its not exactly fair to say who should make the first move. it all depends on the person really. but however the stereotypical portrayal is that guys should make the first move. however since this is the 21st century, mannerisms have evolved.

being a girl, i would prefer to have guys make the first move as girls tend to be the shyer creatures.

this boy once told me he liked me but failed to follow up with asking me out. we are currently together because after a few months later (yes im quite slow) i had a conversation with him about whether we could start a relationship. if he followed up and asked me out, we could have spent a few more months together.

so what can i say i cant be a hypocrite. its an equal world but if u see anyone worth going for, go for it regardless if u r a guy or a girl!

who cares about the gender these days anyway. haha

u took the words right outta my mouth kenny.

love is a two way lane, doesnt matter who makes the move, but i must say girls making the move is bolder but that doesnt make things awkward. ppl have to live out of the stereotype, girls can also make the first.

hey, love is unconditional rite?

Guys are shallow creatures. So yeah, it's fairly easy for girls to make the first move. That is, she's of above average -scratch that- average looking. (Nope, not banging you, just stating facts. Look it up. Ask your friends. Ask your gardener, he'll tell you).

Whether or not they *should*, that's of a different matter. I say no. Why? Nola, not because I'm old fashioned but because you people are engineered to enjoy the thrill of the chase. Where's the fun in chasing when you can get her that easily? Am I right or am I right?

There's a loophole in this love-shmove business. Girls make guys make the first move. Complicated? I knowww. It's an artform, Kenny.

^^

It doesn't really matter who makes the first move. As long as the feeling is right, either one can make a move. Who knows the other party is also about to make a move on you.

Once in a club in Thailand, where I met this girl. We were in the dance pool and out of nowhere, we locked eyes and started dancing together. She asked, "what is your name?" and the rest are history...

I still believe that guys should make the first move. Chivalry isn't dead right? So what if you stand a chance of rejection? Real men don't give two hoots about that. If she ain't giving you the time of the day, then maybe she is the one that ain't worth it anyway. If she goes and tells the whole world bout how she rejected you, I think that just screams " LOOK AT ME, I NEED ATTENTION!!". Lame. But girls, its a new era. The above applies for you too if you so wish to be the 'man'. However, I still would prefer if guys had the guts to approach girls first. It always shows confidence :) Don't be cocky though. If you get rejected more than your fair share, heck maybe it's just you that have issues.Btw, one liners just clearly prove that there isn't much grey matter in that head. I mean, if you had to memorize lines, heck, how sincere can you get?

The one who should make the first move is the one who feels that he or she should make the first move :) It's up to the individual. Give freedom to all to make the first move, last move or stay put :) Who gave anyone the power to set the rules for others anyway? Nobody. Who gave anyone the power to restrict anyone in this matter? Nada. Whichever rocks one's boat. Why should we ask others who should make the first move? Why don't we ask ourselves?

To me, sometimes guys tend to be bossy and egoistic when it comes to confessing and showing how they feel. But when we the guys can't help doing it, the girls like to play 'tug of war' with us. They pull when they feel like it, and release when they feel like it.

And of course, traditionally, guys are suppose to make the move and girls 'traditionally' and supposed ly accept the move made by the guy. However sweet that sound, that's the yesteryear my friend.

Girls today expect guys to be sensitive enough to know what they are thinking. Yeah, we gotta live up to the standards set by them. But why must we? They should understand that we are the aggressive counterpart and not sensitive yea? Plus, girls like us to be aggressive right? :) They don't really want a girlie man do they?

However true both sides argument might be, i believe a guy should be man enough to face the consequences to confess and show their feelings when they ought to do so.

IMHO, what's a guy to a girl if they can't afford to look silly enough to confess to a girl they like?

There's no such thing where who's supposed to make the move..I guess both sexes should do it if they want to..There's no harm of getting the number..I guess even if you get rejected,show that u're confident enough to get rejected and walked away..If u like it,grab it! =)

Why can’t GIRLS be the one making the first move? There’s no such rule saying girls cannot be the one who initiate, I suppose. It is the norms that make girls ‘think’ that it doesn’t look nice or doesn’t sound nice to be the one who initiate. I remember there once a girl in my secondary school asked a guy she admired out for a date. Guess what? Since then, the girl was labeled ‘pompuan muka tebal’ (Thick face, don’t know shame in other words) in the school. So, guys are also doing what you said guys won’t do, gossiping! Anyway, things are changing, when people ask for equality between males and females, it will be appropriate to say that males and females are equal in romance relationship too. By that time, instead of the gender, people’s personality or traits will be the one that determine who will make the first move.

To be honest, if you like someone or something enough, do something about it. No point lolly-lagging around waiting for the object of your desires to be served to you on a plate.

Step up to take what you want and be with who you want. If things don't work out at least you can look yourself in the mirror and say, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!"

Please don't shoot me for the Gone with the Wind reference :P

well, guys should be the first to make the move. yet do it in a smart way of course. i believe the gal u like may not have the slightest liking towards u in the first place.. but.. as time passes.. she will give in. at least more chances for the guy to show consistency. jz my two points.

I can hear all the butch lesbians laughing in glee and rubbing their hands together......

if a girl tries to pick up a guy she gets called a slut

if a guy tries to pick up a girl he gets called desperate.

we humans are so weird.

anyways, i guess us girls SHOULD give picking up guys a shot. i mean, we always scream out for equal rights, wanting to do things only guys usually do, why make this an exception? should be refreshing, and it'd give the poor guys a break too.

well girls CAN make the first move but not directly of course.
if a girl likes the boy, she can use her charm to drop hints indirectly while keeping the distance at the same time, turning the game around to make him ask her first!
this will not make her look desperate or cheap while being able to get the guy's attention at the same time. it is just the matter of how you play the game right =) [worked for me 10 out of 10 tries I dare say, to make a guy confess =p]

Well, it's really a lot to do with the society you are brought up in. In Australia, you can sometimes find girls going up to guys and saying random stuff like 'do you want to hold my hand?'(yea, I've seen someone use this pick up line before and it actually worked) or some other pick up line, especially in clubs and pubs.

But in Malaysia, girls were brought up to be more conservative and shy. I always have this feeling that my mum prefers me to keep quiet in public places or in front of relatives etc, to keep this image of me being 'a nice good girl', that I'm not some outgoing loud and brash girl. Anyways, back to the topic. In Malaysia, a girl asking a guy out would give everyone the impression that she's desperate/cheap/slutty/too easy going. And what if the girl is rejected, along comes guy B, and he was once interested in her, but he's really conservative and once he found out she actually asked a guy out before, he might just lose interest and decide she's not the type for him. So the girl loses out in the end.

Conclusion, it's not ok for a girl to ask a guy out in Malaysia. We still need some time before we lose that 'conservative' outlook on life and lighten up.

Girls can make the the first move, there's nothing wrong with that. Waiting, for someone to make the 1st move, to go after you (generally for guyz and gurls) is not a wise choice, because those that have to guts to make the 1st move most probablyly ended up in a relationship already.

My opinion, as guys, we tend to think about the consequences 1st, and we tend to focus a lot on the negatives, i.e. being rejected. If you keep thinking about being rejected, your actions will show that " Yeah I'm making the 1st move but i know you'll reject me", of course you'll be rejected as you show the signs of " come reject me", as all you show is fear of rejection, no confidence, all the not so good parts of yourself which wont make her interested.
Yeah I think this may sound abit WTF but that's what i think. ^^

i think the question of who should make the first move does not really exist. because don't tell me girls don't fall in love with guy.

to make it simple, if you see someone that you like, then just make the move~!

if you are a girl, and you saw a guy that you like, don't tell me you just sit there trying to send telephatic messages to him so that he'll walk over and make the first move~!? O_o

of course there must be some kind of interaction or hints so that the other party knows.

so the same applies to the guys. you don't just sit down and pray that the girl that you like will walk over and speak to you. because if you don't take action, how the hell he/she gonna know?

if guys were to make the first move, then i guess a lot of girls did not get to be with the man that they like. is this the reason why there are so many jokes and horror stories about marriages?

well, first of all, girls who approach guys first will look like someone very very desperate, or just horny, like the pics with the 5 dollah sucky sucky. it's not about generalisation, girls, but this is what most men will think. Men have this tendency to make the first move, it has been the norm since the start of mankind. Adam requested for Eve because he was lonely, and not the other way round, right?
And if a girl ask a man out, i think it would be the case of the girl doing anything the man wants. sooner or later, the man will feel bored, and this usually wont go well. On the other hand, if a man asks and asks and asks, the girl will most probably feel touched, and decided to give it a try, while the guy will appreciate it since he make a lot of effort for it.

as for man, try to build up some confidence before asking a girl out. it would be better if it doesn't sound like making a move, but actually a more friendly gesture. girls may reject the first, second, or...20th times, but their heart is very soft, actually..if not, their heart won't melt at the sight if a cute poodle.

anyway, men are the gender with cojones! proof it!
it's not about right or wrong, it's more about which way is more natural and probably more benificial in the long run.

Yes, girls should also be the one making the first move.

So many times I have made the first move and was humilated (when i got rejected). And worst, somehow it spreads until your close friends know about it. And they will come back to you and asking you about it over and over again. Sigh.

Is so dreadful that now even though there are a lot of eyes contacts with a girl that is a stranger to me, I wouldn't dare to approach her. (and yes, that kinda explains my current single status... sob)

If only the girl made the move, then life will definitely be so much better. At least a new friendship can be bonded even if the guy says no. Right guys? (Guys don't go and avoid a girl that they reject like girls do... well, majority)

Fine, this is a sexist topic. So I know a lot of girls will not agree with me. If the girls still insists that guys should make the first move, please help us guys with the best way so that we will not look like what Kenny described after being rejected. (the botak kid)

I'll gladly try it out too. (if there is a way that really works of course) :S

Harmony is overrated, much like straight sexuality.

Just you noe, be gay. Then you won't get turned down for sure.

(:

I think it depends.

Sometimes even if the guy DO accept the girl's advances, in the end, he still might not treasure her because it might seem to him that she NEEDS him and he doesn't.

I think the girl would have got to be sure that the guy is nice or the guy is into her before she makes her move.

If not, she is just going to give the guy a good ego boost.

ok.. i think the girls should start making the 1st move... u cant always wait for the guys to make to 1st move on u. what i mean is, both have to make the 1st move... GIRLS~ u have to cherish your own happiness, the one u love~! if not, sometimes will be "too late" as a result... n 1 more thing, use HUGO when u make your 1st move, the succession rate will increase~~ lol.

Totally agree with you that women should make the first move. Women nowadays are more liberalise. You'll see this a lot in western countries especially. I once heard a romantic story when I went on a backpacking trip in Scotland. The bus tour guide that brought us around told a story that he helped a female client of his to set up a scenario for the client to propose to her fiance. He went through all the trouble to make this event a success-buying flowers, champagne, balloons, etc, partly for the interest of his tour company, but mainly I believe for he being supportive & understanding, even as an outsider. And best of all he told this story to us with no mockery or shame but in a inspired, tuneful and understanding way. Gender equality era has arrived, and I think Asians women are up to it.

does it even matter who makes the first move? what matters is that when you love someone, don't be afraid to approach that person.

and if you don't, you'll regret it your whole life, because no matter what, everyone has a chance of being with the person they love. and if you miss the chance, you might never get it back again.

i'm a female. and i personally think that it is ok for girls to make the first move. though some people may think of us as cheap, but from what i understand, do what you want to do, and you'll get what you want to get.

i know being rejected is hard. imagine a girl being rejected by the guy she likes. but we can get through it though it takes a longer time than guys.

but if we never try, we'll never know. isn't it better to ask him out instead of hiding behind pillars looking at him? at least, if he rejects you, you don't have to waste your time hiding behind the pillars anymore because you know he's not someone you need to waste time on for.

it's definitely time for people to change their perception on this. girls should definitely make the first move. and guys should STILL make the first moves too. i guess it all depends on the situation.

it's normal for a girl to ask a guy out these days. and if people thinks otherwise, these people needs to know that they're now in the 21st century, and no longer in the stone age era. haha.

Nowadays, relationships start from friendships. And it's through friendship that you begin to know the person well and to eventually like him/her if you are comfortable with him/her etc etc. I'm quite sure that most people, one their 2nd conversation, would have exchanged mobile numbers and this is not like who must make the first move. It's just a friend thing to ask another friend for the number. As if you don't ask your colleagues for their mobile? Then leh, when things go pretty good, it's like a mutual like thingy already. When either gender ask the other gender, it's a more definite that the gender is accepted liaw. So, if guys ask or girls ask also who cares la?? Wont be rejected d ma. So wont be defined as cheap. Wont be defined as loser. etc etc. In fact, some people also didnt really ask the partner to be tgth lor. It's like pretty understood d. Hehe...

I think it depends to d situation...if u r desperate u want him/her..u shud go...on d othr hand if u r shy n afraid...y bother 2 think abt knowing him/her...i think gals shudnt make d 1st move, it is oni natural as v r gentlements...guys can take shame n all that easily but gals take it in a diff way...how often 2 u c a guy cry 4 getting rejected...but 4 gals...if ur interested in d guy..do make a lil eye contact...however due 2 a small prob in our society, ppl tend 2 think d person hu makes d 1st move desperados...hamsap(perverts)..even worst v tend 2 complain abt d person hu asked us..."oh his not even above average par" "eww she wears prada instead or armani"... In d end there is no hu shud make d 1st move..u WANT HIM/HER? B BRAVE N WALK OVER THR...ASk HIM/HER OUT..end of story

Kenny Sia, you are too cute.
You have legionsss of screaming girl fans (i think.)

You're a nice chap and i'm sure any girl is
sure damn lucky enough to have you.

P/S, waaaah....! Seeing that you're gonna pick the BEST
comment in this entry, all these pple are scrambling
to type the longest, darndest, grammar error-free comments
for this entry. LOL.

I'm a Singaporean. So, naaah. HAHA XD

Not that anyone would have cared, but few years back in high school, I did the most embarrassing and 'un-girlish' thing by approaching a boy[my crush]. My classmate to be precise. Best student in the school and top student in the state. Me? Just some fat, nerd-ish looking girl wearing a round spectacle. The good thing was, I guess, he didn't let his friends know about it. OK, assuming that he DID actually let them know, they sure did a good job at covering it. It was a plain "NO" and it felt weird for the next few days since we're both school prefects and he sat in front of me in class. Things got worst, we were both avoiding each other for the entire year. We hardly talk or interact anymore, worse than before I talk to him about my feelings.

In other words, it's probably more beneficial for ladies to make their first move[save the embarrassing thoughts later]. But in case you got rejected, you would probably think it's better to leave things the way they are.

i think it depends on the situation more.
if girl make the first move, the percentage of success will be much more bigger then men making the first move.

most of the men accept the girl if she make the first move, as long she is not ugly. even normal face with nice heart can already. no need be very sexy or wat.

since womens nowadays keep say they are as powerful as men, then please start from making the first move, don't wait guys to approaach u first. and also, don't think your boyfriend buy u a nice, high class dinner is should. need change sometime de mar, sometime u pay sometime he pay. then u will know dating is not just pulling hand, kiss only. it concerns about money, and a lot!!!!

HOT girl...ASk guy...Ugly Girl...no need ask...

hot girl+hot guy = HOt
ugly girl+ugly guy= Ugly

in conclusion I say that if a girl is ugly and, want to ask a guy out...make sure u ask a ugly guy
WHAHAHAH!!!

yea, u rite!! feel so sorry for all single man in da world..XD i think tis post is goin 2 hav d most comment in kennysia.com.. haha.. comment from mostly guy, i think.. haha..

haha. advertising for Mandarin Oriental KL as well? =P

guys should still make the first move cuz its 'the right thing for guys to do'.

haha.

Well, I guess it very much depends on which era you're in. 20-30 years ago, yes...it may not be acceptable for a girl to make the first move. But now, yeah...why not? Girls always wanted guys to treat them as equal. So...y not? Besides, you'll always have a first mover advantage ;)

Dearest Kenny,

The first time I set eyes upon your blog, it was like a light inside me was set ablaze. I was (and still am) so very intricgued and fasinated by the elokuence of your words that strung the strings of my heart and sole. From the first time I came to your blog, I was very sad and you brought me back the joy to my life'. You are so funny and hilairious with your words. And I thought to myself 'It is enuff that I can only read and yearn for you'... secretly.
Then you post up some pics of urself and omigod, my heart beat so hard and so fast, I feel like it was going to fall into the pit of my stomache. I thought maybe i had gastronomical disease or smthg like that. But, it was ur smile and ur cute little tummy that made me feel like that.
I know you have lot of fans (most my guyz frenz tell me they like ur blog) oso, i know u onli attlacted to galz who hav boobs and butz. I am 5'3 & weight abt 70kg, i know i got no chance. But i am just telling u my feel abt you.
This topik u said, its ok for a gal to express herself to a guy she like & i am doing it. I don't want 2 life to regret if 10 years later.
Plz lemme know how u feel oso.

Girls...SHOULD make the first move, in a proper way. Be a smart girl. Act as if you dont seem desperate, and at the same time make the guy feels good that there's a girl admiring him and that u want to be his friend.
Dont approch him in a cheap way...as in keep haunting that guy although he doesnt bother to reply. Or message something like "Hai hai suai ge..can i chiao u???"
I would ask a guy for his number and i did. try to msg him. and observe whether that guy has interest in you..very obviously from the way he replies u, u would definately know what he thinks about you. if he ignores you or doesnt show any interest, the move on and click "NEXT TARGET" button lah. find for a new guy. there is roughly 50% of the world population is GUYS!!!!!
i dont see anything wrong in a girl making the first move..And of cos girls have to be ready to get rejected too. If u are rejected, then think of the moment u reject ppl and how you did that last time. did u do it in a good way? u might learn some lesson there.

Regret is worse than rejection.
Be yourself and ask - life is bittersweet yoh!

just forget about men and women equality.. it will never happen... when fail in the confession to a girl, especially close friend, we can lost the valuable friendship like me.... (T_T)

Hi Kenny!

Dunno if it's a coincidence or wat..tis post seems to have come at the right time! Maybe I should have given 2nd thoughts on the guy who approached me in the train. it's not that easy to make the first move afterall =)

Personally, a guy will never appreciate a girl as much as he would if he didn't "work hard" to get her himself. If he had sweat and fought to get her, chances are, he'll appreciate her more in the future.

Yup it's the new millenium. A girl shouldn't sit around and wait for the guy. She should hint, suggest, and she can talk to him first, but never the one who asks him out on a date first. Who said guys wouldn't brag about the loser-girl to his friends?

In the present world, who make the first move is no more important. The most important thing is that each of them love each other.

no pain no gain lah (:

Hmm.. I think guys should make the first move... coz if a girl confesses to a guy the guy may not even want to be friends with the girl anymore... But.. if a guy confesses to the girl then even if he is rejected guys are usually thick-skinned enough to approach the girl again and they can still be friends.. anyways girls are more sensitive to rejection therefore... girls should not have to make the first move..

Many people like to keep things simple. A guy works up his courage, grooms himself up a little, put a cloth in his pants so his erection would not be that obvious, steps forward and asks a girl out, if the girl nods, then great, he succeeds; if otherwise, he fails. If you are keeping things simple, it is much easier for you to find the confidence and guts to bellow out your feelings or just a hint of liking the girl. On the other hand, if you take every little aspect into account, you think whether you are too chubby, or your hair is different from that of Brad Pitt’s, or how other girls will shun you like the plague if you get rejected. All these questions will manifest in a form of insecurity, in the end, nothing is done nor achieved. Gradually, more 40 year old virgins will appear.

Needless to say, it is much easier to let the opposite sex take the first step while you just sit back and nod or shake your head. The guys have come up with various excuses, the most common one being: it is the 21st century now, and they are fighting for equality in both sexes, so the girls should make the first move to prove that men and women can be equal in terms of status. While we can rush to congratulate the guys on being open minded and such selfless egalitarians, but then again, shame on them, or in this case us (I am a guy), for coming up with such a lame excuse for our insecurity.

On the other hand, for women, who have been deemed as the weaker sex for centuries, are in the better position to let the men make the first move. But then again, on one hand they are condemning men for being sexists and bigots; but on the other, they prefer to be passive and let men be, in the context of dating, men. Although I do not understand women as much as they do themselves, I think this scenario arises from insecurity as well. “What will guys think of me if I just ask that cutie out? They will think I’m shameless, then no one will go out with me! Ah!” or “I think he is attracted to me, he’s kinda cute too. Alright, I’ll play hard to get if he makes a move so I won’t be the easy one.” Whether or not women are proud of how many men woo them as men are proud of how many women they manage to ask out, I do not know, but there is a good chance of that being true.

In the traditional Chinese culture, women are only supposed to stay at home, weave and knit, cook and wash, feed the children and listen to the husband. In such a male dominated culture, I do not see how a woman is supposed to make the first move. But then again, how many of us can adhere to such customs, or live like our ancestors where women stay at home and even if they go out, it will be nothing else except the wet market or the grocery store. We have progressed now, the old cultures and being forgotten, the status of women has escalated to a stage where men and women are equal. In this case, I see absolutely no necessity in men making the first move. Though for other more male dominant cultures, I do not acquiesce to this statement. As for Malaysia, then yes, I think both sexes should be more aggressive in pursuing a relationship.

For this, I am only speaking in general, and I am sure not all men and women are as what I described in paragraph 2 and 3. I do not have any experiences in asking women out as I am still at the very young age of 16. These are just my honest opinions. Thank you.

how true, how true.
it's easier for a girl to get to know a guy that she likes, and no, this is no longer the era of "i'm a girl, if i ask him out, he'll think that i'm a slut or sth".

guys face immense pressure when trying to ask a girl out, and like what u said, the after-effect. will she ignore me next time? or worse, avoid me?
even worse, will she spread the news and make me feel like a loser?
coz guys have an ego, even the "sisiest" of guys have at least a small amount of ego to keep.

simple... i'm commenting here hoping to get the free bottle of Hugo, because I felt in love with Hugo sense before and it's man fragrance. show me there are free stuff in this world.

For me, I think that now is the new millennium, guys and gals are both equally even..Everything should be even..Even for this case, I do think that gals do deserve to express their feelings first to the guys..N it's not necessary that she is cheap or desperate..People used to say,"Don't judge a book by its own cover"..Same goes to this..U can't judge her love towards that guy, before knowing how much she's interested in him..It takes a lot of courage for a girl to express her feelings..N i believe girls need more courage to do this more than guys..Because girls tend to be more shy,right??
As for guys, it's always the guys to express their feelings first..N