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21 April 2006
Short Talk:
Blog Plug Of The Day: Colin and Kero. Brokeback Bloggers - definitely not for the conservatives. Personally I find it an entertaining and interesting read.
Sex, Sleaze and Massage in Phuket
So I asked the tuk-tuk driver, "Take me to the biggest and most popular massage place in Phuket." and he said "You want massage? I bring you go 'Christian Massage'."
Christian Massage? What kinda massage centre has a name called "Christian Massage"? Must be some kinda sick religious freaks they have in Thailand. I'm imagining them reciting passages from The Bible while massaging my feet. "Cast ye away every man muscle aches, back pain and sore feet. Improve ye blood circulation!"
I was still puzzled over that ridiculous name for a massage centre when I arrived at this humungous pink-purple building.
Ohhhh.... Christin Massage. My mistake.
So I happily entered the building, hopped up the staircase and then OMG!
What I saw was ROWS AND ROWS of scantily-clad heavily-made-up ladies sitting behind a huge glass window smiling and waving at me. KNNCCB. This is not a massage centre! I just walked into a friggin' BROTHEL!!!
WTF? Before the pimp can even talk to me I was already out the building cursing that damned tuk-tuk driver under my breath.
Only after some asking, searching and digging around that I finally settled for this place instead.
Let's Relax? Of course. And I never regretted coming here. This place is a complete contrast to that whore house that is Christin. Everything here exudes the first-class charm and all the hallmarks of a private sanctuary. I love it so much I ended up coming here twice in 3 days.
I walked in there and the receptionist politely greeted me Sawadeekarp. I gave her my credit card she said Sawadeekarp. I got my card back she said Sawadeekarp. Sometimes I dunno if she said Sawadeekarp or I wanna swipe your credit card.
The Thai massage [500baht/RM50] I had was absolutely out of this world. My masseuse knows all the right spots to hit. It was very relaxing. I had my limbs bent in the opposite direction God intended them to be. But it was well worth it.
Instantly I felt human again.
Of course, no trip in Thailand is complete without witnessing the sleazy nightlife that the tom-yum kingdom is famous for. After watched some Muay Thai action [700baht/RM70], it's time to explore the a-go-go bars.
Best. Toilet sign. Ever.
It's a disappointment ok. There's nothing there but vaguely sexy girls dancing with vaguely erotic moves. Sorry but I wasn't turned on at all.
Heh, if I wanna see girls in skimpy outfits dancing like a slut I can just go for 'Ghetto Heaven' nights in Zouk KL. They're much better anyway.
Sometimes even the tourists themselves hop onto the bartop to dance with the go-go girls.
There are easily more working girls than guys at night in Phuket. Walking around the red light district of Phuket, I don't know whether to feel happy or sad.
Happy because there are so many girls in itsy-bitsy-tiny clothings walking around. Sad because of the desperation and lengths these girls go through to try to secure a client.
This statue pretty much sums up what the sex tourists in Phuket are like.
I can't even walk from one end of the street to the other without having at least 3-4 freelance hookers all wanting to spend the night with me.
For the record, I wasn't up to any naughties while I was in Phuket. It's a bad idea to do that because:
(1) You don't want to bring back a disease as a souvenir.
(2) You wouldn't know whether the person you sleep with is a girl with a butt-ugly face, or a guy with really good make-up.
(3) Paying for sex is just... so wrong.
Regardless, sights like these around the red light district is pretty common.
It's Phuket Bike Week and there were huge groups of bikie gang members from Malaysia, Singapore and around the world congregating in this little island showing off their boy toys. At times, you'll see a sumo-sized American riding a Harley Davidson down the road, and a tiny Thai girl 1/5 his size sitting on the back.
The Singaporean War Pigs is what they called themselves.
As I walked into Tiger Entertainment, a very tall and manly transvestite grabbed me by the testicles to attract my attention. Hello? Whatever happened to tapping on my shoulders?
"Hiiii, I lab youuuu!" the tranny said as (s)he gave my balls a nice big rub. I have no idea why she said that. But I'm pretty sure she doesn't read kennysia.com and she's not one of my fan girls.
Don't be tempted. These are MEN.
For lack of a better description, Tiger Entertainment is one sleazy dirty fucked up place.
I don't know how to describe it, but it's like a food court. Instead of individual stalls, they have bars. And each bar has their own army of girls who will go out of their way to make you pay for their overpriced drinks.
Found myself a bar where the girls were dressed up as schoolgirls and bought myself a beer [90baht/RM9].
It didn't take long for one of them to sit next to me and asked me to buy her a drink. 150 baht for a vodka orange. Out of courtesy I said ok lah.
She thanked me and before I knew it, the girl was sitting on my lap and licking on my ear. I was so excited, my Big Bird got bird flu.
:: Posted by Kenny at 11:45 PM | Link | Facebook It
:: Categorised as 'Thailand'
93 Comments:
OMG. okay. haha. bird flu =x
Posted by: min at 21 April 2006 11:53 PM | Link to comment
2
Posted by: 2 at 21 April 2006 11:54 PM | Link to comment
Nice~~ SO envy you!
Posted by: kahying at 21 April 2006 11:54 PM | Link to comment
Kenny likes schoolgirls?
*wave*
Me! me! me!
Posted by: uglyfatchick at 21 April 2006 11:55 PM | Link to comment
fourth!
hahahaa
i haven even read the freakin entry!!
Posted by: mia at 21 April 2006 11:55 PM | Link to comment
kenny i luv u!
Posted by: jamie at 21 April 2006 11:56 PM | Link to comment
Bird flu contagious - hope only big bird got it and not the human?
Posted by: juz_A_gal at 22 April 2006 12:00 AM | Link to comment
You sure she sit on your lap? or you put her on your lap? XD
Posted by: HaMz at 22 April 2006 12:02 AM | Link to comment
Uish!! *spills popcorn all over lap*
Posted by: Reika at 22 April 2006 12:04 AM | Link to comment
**I meant, the massage.. XD
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 22 April 2006 12:05 AM | Link to comment
*HUMP*
Posted by: wenjun at 22 April 2006 12:06 AM | Link to comment
**I meant, the massage.. XD
Posted by: kahying at 22 April 2006 12:07 AM | Link to comment
I think you've got the time wrong.. how can be entry be done at 11.45pm when its only like 11.07 now..
Posted by: GoodRubber at 22 April 2006 12:07 AM | Link to comment
The person in Tiger Entertainment grabbed your coconut balls ? wahhh
Posted by: Dada at 22 April 2006 12:16 AM | Link to comment
Maybe the server is set on DST, so that's why the time is faster?
Posted by: Matthew A. Lockhart at 22 April 2006 12:19 AM | Link to comment
Totally a no-no area to be in for the weak hearted.
Love the toilet sign.... and yeah, bird flu is bad for health.
:o)
Posted by: kimmysia at 22 April 2006 12:24 AM | Link to comment
Your big bird got bird flu? Oh the visualisation ... Urgh!
Posted by: marina at 22 April 2006 12:39 AM | Link to comment
y i feel happy when u say u got big bird bird flu? thats just.. wrong..
Posted by: adrian at 22 April 2006 12:47 AM | Link to comment
School Girls or School Boys...ahhaha...have to ask that ah pek(car keys)
Posted by: stoney at 22 April 2006 1:01 AM | Link to comment
THAILAND shall be next my next holiday destination!! hehehehehe.. juz curious bout da gals n transvestites.
Posted by: 15iEL at 22 April 2006 1:17 AM | Link to comment
Let's relax is a fantastic and look high class place for massage (most importantly decent)... I even tip the masseuse when I was there. The service is just so good. Highly recommended.
Phuket is a nice place...but I wont be back there again...cause I lost a good friend to Tsunami. It is now a sad place for me.
Posted by: Bear Bear at 22 April 2006 1:28 AM | Link to comment
It's a kinky post!
Posted by: jeanie at 22 April 2006 1:41 AM | Link to comment
enjoy your aids :)
Posted by: kaosial at 22 April 2006 1:42 AM | Link to comment
Another fab place to go to for the red light district is Amsterdam which I have just been last Easter weekend with my sister! A place u wouldnt go with your sister right,Kirstie? Hello sista.. i miss u already even before u leave.
Sorry Kenny I used your blog to say hi to my sister because after reading your adventure in Phuket, it reminded me of my trip. However there are more asians than ang mohs in amsterdam queueing up at the live sex show. Apparently it's for "Education, Inspiration!" as I heard the pimps were screaming. :)
Posted by: Chloe at 22 April 2006 2:14 AM | Link to comment
haha, who knows if u hav go for e full service. Trying to talk holy here rite. man are always man.....
Posted by: devil^san at 22 April 2006 2:25 AM | Link to comment
i wonder how your gf can stand you
Posted by: tings at 22 April 2006 2:59 AM | Link to comment
wow kenny, nice blog man and the toilet sign are easy to understand..hehe
Posted by: mac at 22 April 2006 3:05 AM | Link to comment
Heya!!! Bird flu? OMG!!! Izzit H5N1 stain? Ha ha...joking...hey pal..."You don't want to bring back a disease as a souvenir."...so beware ar...beside, u r not even sure if 'she'is 'she' or 'he'...HA ha. Enjoy ur hols and keep updating. I like ur blog.
Posted by: Vinczz at 22 April 2006 3:10 AM | Link to comment
I walked in there and the receptionist politely greeted me Sawadeekarp. I gave her my credit card she said Sawadeekarp. I got my card back she said Sawadeekarp. Sometimes I dunno if she said Sawadeekarp or I wanna swipe your credit card.
I believe the receptionist might have said 'Sawadeekah', instead of 'Sawadeekarp'. Cos girls say 'kah' and boys, 'karp'. It's polite and gentle to pepper your sentences with 'kah, kah, kah' (for girls). It's like a 'hai' in Jap, thus can be used interchangeably with 'yes'.
Posted by: trista at 22 April 2006 3:27 AM | Link to comment
I labbb uuuu tooooo, kennyyyy..
Posted by: Asa at 22 April 2006 3:39 AM | Link to comment
Kenny! WTFOMGBBQBEBEK!
I oso want my holidayyyy! Are you travelling alone, btw?
ps: christin massage not bad wad...
Posted by: Su at 22 April 2006 4:17 AM | Link to comment
In Bangkok Soi Cowboy lane the bartop girls go topless
Posted by: john john at 22 April 2006 4:19 AM | Link to comment
the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
Posted by: Matthew at 22 April 2006 6:38 AM | Link to comment
I've been to the Chiangmai branch of the Massage Centre. Very good also!
Anyway I think Sex tourism is so, so wrong as well as being a transvestite... Sigh... their way of life.
Posted by: Jing at 22 April 2006 8:51 AM | Link to comment
Rock Hard Cafe (if they're still around) 2nd floor also topless and good quality too :)
Posted by: Seraphim at 22 April 2006 9:27 AM | Link to comment
Are you sure the one that lick your ears is a gurl?!?!?!
Posted by: Cheryl at 22 April 2006 9:35 AM | Link to comment
sleazy entry...but interesting hor lab..
Posted by: rachel lee at 22 April 2006 10:45 AM | Link to comment
those girls with school attire beware of them. Half of the girls were actually buys. I've been there last year. Got to know that when one of the girls told me.
Posted by: kennethnorman at 22 April 2006 11:04 AM | Link to comment
biasa la all these things in thailand. esp phuket. foreigners pronounce it as 'fuck-et'. the name says it all.
Posted by: zhong at 22 April 2006 11:26 AM | Link to comment
So what happened after your, eh, bird flu?
BTW my mum thought I was surfing porn when she saw the pics. Heh.
Posted by: Sibeh Sian at 22 April 2006 11:26 AM | Link to comment
you'd make a wicked holiday buddy because you know how to enjoy yourself and say no to the dirty pro's.....i'm glad that there's people like you out there that understands the health risks of having sex with prostitues, unlike sadly for some guys who go screw and contract AIDS and other STI's. Paying for sex is alread wrong, but what they're actually gettign for their money's worth is death.
Posted by: ricka at 22 April 2006 11:29 AM | Link to comment
kenny,yr gf didn't go with you?she didn't get jealous?
Posted by: Angel at 22 April 2006 11:41 AM | Link to comment
Nice piccies! And totally lurve the toilet sign! You're right .. best sign ever!! *laughs*
Posted by: Fong at 22 April 2006 11:45 AM | Link to comment
the massage place looks very nice. lol at christian massage
sleaze alert! can't believe that guy just went for ur balls. assault!!
Posted by: Kelly at 22 April 2006 12:03 PM | Link to comment
good that you played safe XD
Posted by: cholic at 22 April 2006 12:10 PM | Link to comment
You won't feel sorry for them in a few years as you get older! I used to, no longer though:)
Posted by: Crunk Juice at 22 April 2006 12:44 PM | Link to comment
i wish i had time for an interesting holiday, lolz.
Posted by: qsl at 22 April 2006 12:44 PM | Link to comment
y u dun have the pic for christin massage?
Posted by: Dude at 22 April 2006 2:43 PM | Link to comment
i've never been interested to go to thailand for a holiday but now after seeing ya post, i m realli curious to go there just to see it for myself...but i wldn't dare go alone..better bring a guy fren or sth! dun think it'd be safe for a gal to wander in thailand by herself.
Posted by: kleine maus at 22 April 2006 2:54 PM | Link to comment
i doubt u are still a virgin
Posted by: eee at 22 April 2006 3:07 PM | Link to comment
if that is your first time they will give u ang pow dont tell me u dont do it. which cat dont like fish????????
Posted by: eee at 22 April 2006 3:13 PM | Link to comment
Thailand is prospering due to the sex tourism... Our Redang is still better....
Posted by: Cheryl at 22 April 2006 4:00 PM | Link to comment
hey.. you know as they say.. if life gives you aids... make lemonaids...
Posted by: poogs at 22 April 2006 4:44 PM | Link to comment
nice toilet signs... im proposing they become universal signs to replace the current stick figures..heheh
Posted by: lingghezhi at 22 April 2006 5:30 PM | Link to comment
interesting holiday...
Posted by: lisa at 22 April 2006 5:50 PM | Link to comment
kenny... how many times did big bird sneeze after kana flu?
lol
Posted by: cameron at 22 April 2006 6:36 PM | Link to comment
i did a paper on the sex industry in patong once... but damn! they don't show/tell shit like these man.. i would have gotten an A instead of some fucked up C.. -_-' but its such a fucking good place for an anthropological fieldwork!!
i wanna go see one day..! kenny wanna go again??? hahaha.
Posted by: tina at 22 April 2006 6:53 PM | Link to comment
shittttttt,the one doing the licking might be a guy
Posted by: kelvin at 22 April 2006 7:09 PM | Link to comment
THOSE TOILET SIGNS ARE HILARIOUS! great post!
Posted by: kat. at 22 April 2006 8:01 PM | Link to comment
"I love it so much I ended up coming here twice in 3 days"
three times huh? hahaha
Posted by: jon at 22 April 2006 8:15 PM | Link to comment
Christin Massage = Brothel?
Maybe you should go in and and take a short tour and come back telling us what does it looks like?
Let's relax. Wow! Such a heaven when I glance at the photoes you have taken.
The rest of them, too sleazy. I thought you might have taken them because of the beautiful girls/trannies inside. Or because of the beautiful foreigners.
You are bold enough to get your bird grabbed by a stranger. -_-
Posted by: Chew Lian at 22 April 2006 9:07 PM | Link to comment
*GOSH* lucky those were "MEN"...if not..i think i would already become a ... ehehehee..
Posted by: Nikita at 22 April 2006 10:42 PM | Link to comment
-->"Sometimes I dunno if she said Sawadeekarp or I wanna swipe your credit card".
Ahahahaha!...Hahaahahahahaha...*snort*...
That's funny!
Posted by: Terix at 22 April 2006 11:15 PM | Link to comment
any continuation? :p
Posted by: Matchy at 22 April 2006 11:25 PM | Link to comment
That girl who licked you might have been a HE.
*shudders*
Posted by: Darrell at 22 April 2006 11:54 PM | Link to comment
Made me remember Amsterdam'92 ;-)
Posted by: pinolobu at 23 April 2006 12:50 AM | Link to comment
Tuning in to the Part 2 of 'Bird Flu'. muahahaaaa...
Posted by: Hijackqueen at 23 April 2006 12:52 AM | Link to comment
Hey, I've tried the Let's Relax spa @ Phuket too.. it was great! :D
Posted by: moon at 23 April 2006 2:30 AM | Link to comment
If the girl at 'Just Relax' said 'SawadeeKARP' instead of 'SawadeeKAH', you have to be careful, she may not be a she. She must actually be a HE. Hahaha.. That's for real. If a girl in Thailand did not use 'kah' but use 'karp', it's a HE, not SHE dude. Most people know that. heehee..
Posted by: so? at 23 April 2006 3:17 AM | Link to comment
So, what happened next after you big bird got bird flu?
Posted by: kacey at 23 April 2006 8:08 AM | Link to comment
LOL. the toilet sign for males looked like the middle finger. Bwahaha!
Posted by: justine at 23 April 2006 10:34 AM | Link to comment
what a nice holiday.. i hope i can go there too..
i so envy u too...:)
Posted by: Shirley at 23 April 2006 11:37 AM | Link to comment
ur holiday damn fierce sia...
I think I wld enjoy the massage too...
the Singaporeans War Pigs are ridiculous...
LoLz...
Posted by: Wei De at 23 April 2006 4:17 PM | Link to comment
Salute!
i like you say this :
(3) Paying for sex is just... so wrong.
totally agree with you!
you are a nice guy :)
Posted by: shopper at 23 April 2006 4:58 PM | Link to comment
Shud try something WILD sometimes !!!
Posted by: MagicHouse at 23 April 2006 6:10 PM | Link to comment
i'm going to thailand b1tches.
Posted by: empire23 at 23 April 2006 6:34 PM | Link to comment
Aiyo...these gals are really gd wor..but be careful not to bring back any "sovenior" wor.. =S
Posted by: Xia-mi-mi at 23 April 2006 8:13 PM | Link to comment
jus so you know,the ladies are suppose to say savadeeka and gents will reply savadeekarp.. its nice to know the proper way of greeting, don't you think? ^^ no offence la ya?
Posted by: iamshort at 23 April 2006 8:55 PM | Link to comment
Uh, Kenny, It's the 23rd. Isn't it time to post another?
Knock knock...hello...too many Phuket high balls, eh? Or did you succumb to the evilness of this land and PAID FOR SEX WITH YOUR LAP TOP!!!!!!? :B
Posted by: Elaine at 23 April 2006 10:24 PM | Link to comment
Wow, guys heaven... but, remember to use CONDOM!!!!!!!!! feel pity to the woman who involve in the red light zone, they just need money, sad!
Posted by: WC Addict at 24 April 2006 4:33 AM | Link to comment
Dear Kenny,
Thank you for making me throw up at my desk. Not your trip, which by the way, seems quite nice.
I'm talking about your Blog Plug Of The Day.
No, please, I'm not a homophobe. In fact I purposely went to the link because I wanted to read a nice blog about a relationship between people of the same gender.
I was thinking, "Oh how nice of Kenny to feature a same-sex couples blog. Perhaps that will show the world the tenderness inherent in all relationships, not just heterosexual ones. A glimpse into the lives of non-straight people who are in love. Awwww..."
What I got was a dose of immaturity and nikelodeon-like, artifical saccharin-y sweetness so bad that my blood insulin levels and rage-o-meter both simultaneously red-lined and caused me to dump my McD's Big Breakfast all over my keyboard.
Spank You Very Much,
A Nony Mouse
Posted by: A Nony Mouse at 25 April 2006 10:36 AM | Link to comment
I should never, NEVER go to thailand... too much temptaion!!!! ahhahahahah
but damn, the beaches and the bitches are good! :P another pun for ya
cheers!
Posted by: Deviant at 25 April 2006 1:08 PM | Link to comment
Nice pics that you have got there. I am sure glad that you had lots of fun in Thighland and your mind is sure a polluted one.
Posted by: Benny Ong at 25 April 2006 11:16 PM | Link to comment
ahahhah... my favorite is "similan island"..hush!! si be funny....
by the way, the scenery pics are good....
hope to see more in the future...
Posted by: alice lew at 26 April 2006 11:50 AM | Link to comment
I enjoy reading your blog all the time. It is especially good to read this one "(3) Paying for sex is just... so wrong." Good to have someone like you.
Posted by: tc at 26 April 2006 1:30 PM | Link to comment
Skool gals? o.o *drools...*
R u sure they r 100% gals? XD
Posted by: dadaz at 28 April 2006 1:58 AM | Link to comment
so what happened to your big bird (really big???) and the bird flu?
haha...
are you sure its a she and not a he?
Posted by: Indulgent Princess at 05 May 2006 1:48 PM | Link to comment
super stupid .............
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 25 September 2006 9:31 PM | Link to comment
Im going to Phuket in 2 weeks. Thanks for all the tips. Gotta admit, it was worth a laugh, especially the bird flu part lol...i'm still looking for other fun things to do in Phuket. Let me know if you have any other recommendations.
Posted by: Stephanie at 12 April 2007 6:42 PM | Link to comment
i want a girl to fuk on full decembedr.
please let me know
Posted by: hotguy at 17 September 2007 11:25 AM | Link to comment
i like sex 17 age
Posted by: gakumara at 04 October 2007 10:03 PM | Link to comment
Why is the word Tiger always associated with low cost and cheap stuff?? =(
Posted by: The Horny Bitch at 30 November 2007 11:38 AM | Link to comment
u are a really wanker and looser.christina massage is for fun my friend not for sex looser.phuket is great if u have money and if u are young.
Posted by: thomas at 19 June 2008 7:24 PM | Link to comment
com
