kennysia.com: Talk Cock King At His Best

« KLCC Premier Paid Toilets Review | Main | Lame »

09 July 2005

Talk Cock King At His Best

Its a slow start to the weekend and I'm hardly motivated to do post on my own. But for those who didn't catch it, here's the infamous conversation I had with minishorts, reproduced with some Malay words translated and graphics included.

I still get a chuckle everytime I read it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Minishorts and I were slacking off at work. We were talking about my reputation as a crowd pleaser)

minishorts : you horrible lah
Kenny : i please everyone too much
minishorts : reply religiously
minishorts : die lah
minishorts : i go by the mantra : i don't give a fucking damn.
Kenny : i don't give a damn, but I can give a fucking.
minishorts : i'm sure
minishorts : how long are you
Kenny : ...
Kenny : private question!
minishorts : i want to know
Kenny : siao ah
minishorts : 3 inches limp! yes
minishorts : silence is consent
minishorts : muahahaha!
Kenny : that's like asking for ur cup size.
minishorts : eh no lah i think
Kenny : u dun tell ppl one u know.
minishorts : 2.5 inches limp
minishorts : i'm a xxxxx
Kenny : !
Kenny : i didn't ask.
Kenny : u dun crazy.
Kenny : anyway
minishorts : i'm trying to tell you its the same thing
minishorts : so...
minishorts : 2.5 inches limp
Kenny : it doesn't matter that size it is limp
Kenny : 'cos limp is useless anyway.
minishorts : maximum 5.5 inches hard
Kenny : hey i never measured.
minishorts : i'm going to blog this
minishorts : mUAHHAHA
minishorts : anyway
minishorts : i think its...
Kenny : but even if i had, i'm not gonna tell.
minishorts : ok
Kenny : !
minishorts : from thumb end
minishorts : to little finger end
minishorts : outstretched
minishorts : that's the length
fingers

minishorts : right not?
Kenny : hey i'm in the office right now
Kenny : not gonna unzip my pants and confirm your statements!
minishorts : chewah words only mah
minishorts : go and wank yourself and see
Kenny : cannot
Kenny : must have images.
minishorts : then come back tell me how big is the big bird
Kenny : waliew
Kenny : wendy asked me the same thing
Kenny : and i didn't wanna answer her
minishorts : hehehe
Kenny : she said "if you're long, you'd answer. if you don't answer, that means you're short."
Kenny : !!!
Kenny : die die both ways.
minishorts : i can estimate a guy's length by his face
minishorts : top of forehead
minishorts : to bottom of chin
minishorts : that's the length...when hardened..
minishorts : usually correct one
Kenny : no wonder girls like horse face
Kenny : crazy ah
minishorts : you don't believe go check and see
Kenny : eunuches don't have flat face
Kenny : squashed face i mean
minishorts : next time you go wanking... you estimate the length of your face
minishorts : use your hands to help lah... then you will be shocked by the accuracy of my prophecy
Kenny : DAMN YOU
Kenny : now everytime i look a man's face i think of the length of his penis
Kenny : ALL YOUR FAULT
Kenny : shit
Kenny : now i gotta photoshop my face to make it look longer.
face

minishorts : hahaha!
minishorts : eh what's the length lah
minishorts : got yellow feathers all around your dick right
Kenny : c'mon. why did u wanna know! not like i'm gonna sleep with you.
Kenny : or anyone else
Kenny : anytime soon.
minishorts : cheh
minishorts : you keep on saying you got big bird
minishorts : OF COURSE WE WANT TO KNOW
Kenny : siao ah
Kenny : of course its all in jest
minishorts : you got your ownself into this
Kenny : hohoho
Kenny : good what
Kenny : keep the suspense there.
Kenny : remain an unsolved mystery.
minishorts : no oh.
minishorts : not fun
minishorts : wait lemme see..
minishorts : yeah lah kautim should be 5.5 inches when hard and solid
Kenny : my face length is longer than 5.5 inch ok
minishorts : yeah meh
minishorts : you take ruler and measure your face length adi
Kenny : 18cm
minishorts : fucker
minishorts : ok i change the metthod
minishorts : FACE width

After the extraction of my 4 wisdom teeth, 2 years ago.

minishorts : from right cheek end to left cheek end
Kenny : ear to ear or what
minishorts : cheek end to cheek end
Kenny : 19 cm
minishorts : hahahahaha
Kenny : depends on where u position it
minishorts : mid-cheek to mid-cheek
Kenny : fuck lah
Kenny : next thing u know u'll say left nostril to right nostril
minishorts : that one is your flacid length
Kenny : not that short pun
Kenny : c'mon lah
minishorts : you got big nose hole mah
Kenny : how would u like it if ppl say they can measure ur cheebye length by the width of your lips.

Kenny : gross rite
minishorts : got such thing meh
Kenny : everytime ppl look at u, u'd feel violated.
minishorts : where got gross
minishorts : YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR DICK
minishorts : we girls are proud of our vaginas.
Kenny : mann
Kenny : we shouldn't compare.
minishorts : i'm not comparing
Kenny : everyone is good in their own right
Kenny : heh heh heh
minishorts : i'm just saying it's like a lock-and-key situation.
minishorts : when you find a man, it's like you're looking for the key to your lock.
minishorts : IF the key fits... sex will be superbo.

Kenny : hey, what does it have got anything to do with me.
minishorts : length doesn't necessarily matter.
Kenny : even if i say 30 cm u're not gonna leave eric for me.
minishorts : of course not.
minishorts : he is infinite.
Kenny : besides
Kenny : i can just say any number
Kenny : u'll never know.
Kenny : shit.
minishorts : 30 cm you will look like a hantu lah
minishorts : i'm trying to say... length doesn't matter... what matters is that the key will fit the lock.
Kenny : ...
minishorts : but that doesn't stop us from wanting to know 'just how big is kenny's big bird'.
Kenny : a dick is not a key. a cheebye is not a lock.
Kenny : u dun insert the key into the lock and turn clockwise.
Kenny : u insert the key, remove the key, insert the key, remove....

minishorts : hahahahaa
minishorts : wah you damn experienced hoh
Kenny : 9 months later they'll produce a baby lock
Kenny : and a baby key

minishorts : WTF YOU TALKING ABOUT
minishorts : i'm asking you about your length
minishorts : you tell me about insert key remove insert key remove
Kenny : well
Kenny : that's for the ladies to find out.
Kenny : u better dun ask one of ur undercover agents to seduce me.
Kenny : next time i see elaine acting strangely towards me i'll know one.
minishorts : ok change method
minishorts : i think your key.... i mean dick
minishorts : is the length of the word 'dick
minishorts : when typed out in times new roman font size 72.

minishorts : correct?
Kenny : well
Kenny : dick is a short-form
Kenny : the actual word is dickonorsaurus.

minishorts : that one
minishorts : if it is dickonorsaurus.
minishorts : then is is the length of that word typed out in times new roman font size ... 24
Kenny : scientific name. dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus

Kenny : so there.
minishorts : talk kok king at his best.
minishorts : that one should be times new roman font size 10
Kenny : brb i wanna go to the toilet
Kenny : NOT to measure ok
Kenny : i drank too much water
minishorts : go measure go measure

:: Posted by Kenny at 2:30 PM | Link | Facebook It
:: Categorised as 'Favourite Entries' | 'Out of the Ordinary'

87 Comments:

LOL. Keep this up and you can be a full fledge graphics artist soon.

Posted by: Brown Cow at 09 July 2005 2:38 PM | Link to comment

LOL... This is 10 times better than Minishorts' version!!! ROTFLMLMOASOTS - Roll On The Floor Laughing My Luncheon Meat Out And Spit On The Screen....

Posted by: Jason at 09 July 2005 2:42 PM | Link to comment

I read that at Minishort's blog first, but it still cracks me up... Nice pictures, hahahaha.

I've never heard of the face-width thing, but some of my friends told me they could approximate the length of someone's dick by looking at his fingers. Still a load of BS, though.

Posted by: Mr. "M" at 09 July 2005 2:44 PM | Link to comment

LOL....u 2 are power! Really can talk about anything without offending each other...:P

Posted by: KingMeng at 09 July 2005 2:53 PM | Link to comment

HAAHA!!!! the last bit really cracked me up. haha! funny shit. but you know. i reckon all the "methods" of measuring just by looking at your fingers/face/feet yada yada are all myths. no offense kenny, but we know for sure its not a dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus, because man, you're not black =P

Posted by: vanessa at 09 July 2005 3:03 PM | Link to comment

some say, look at his big toe!

Posted by: miche at 09 July 2005 3:16 PM | Link to comment

Kenny,im ur die hard man..have to look at ur blog n think bout how long ur kuku everyday...haaha..U r so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If u ever got free from all the girls chasing u, plz drop me a comment at my blog or email me...then i think i ll be so happy and cant sleep for 7days 7 night and with the good deed u done..ur Kuku gonna be longer by 1 inch..hehe

Lastly " Size doesnt matter,Its how u play the game"
muahhahahahaha

Posted by: Jackie at 09 July 2005 3:23 PM | Link to comment

OMG, don't think I can live life normal now thanks to you and minishorts. Now every person I look at I will be thinking of their lengths respectively. X_X

That's a really good way of putting porn up on your site(using locks and keys) ^^

Posted by: Lyon at 09 July 2005 3:40 PM | Link to comment

See lah, now I won't be able to look at a guy's face without thinking about their dick size.

Ooh, that lock and key thingy reminds me of biology. LOL. Twisting and turning is involved somehow right??

LOL. NVM.

Have you done this MIT Blogger test? It's fun.

[url]http://blogsurvey.media.mit.edu/request[/url]

Posted by: Quinsy at 09 July 2005 4:01 PM | Link to comment

ur posting contaminated my kepala otak already. and i have church service tonight. am now imagining seeing cock on every people's face i see! maybe i should skip today's service.

Posted by: miche at 09 July 2005 4:02 PM | Link to comment

Kenny, if your dick is that long, the underwear I made for you will never fit.

Posted by: desperate addict at 09 July 2005 4:55 PM | Link to comment

kepala otak?

as opposed to some people who have buntut otak?

Posted by: me at 09 July 2005 4:55 PM | Link to comment

Muahahahahahahahah!! A classic kenny!! :)

Posted by: Nick Tay at 09 July 2005 5:09 PM | Link to comment

Reading this is better than reading any pornographic novel ... !

It used to be guys scrutinise girls on their boob size ... now girls scrutinise guys on their bird size, and this post just proves it.

Posted by: Cappella at 09 July 2005 5:26 PM | Link to comment

HAHahahahhaa
next time, i shall remember not to read your blog when im having my blackhead-remover masque on!

Posted by: sparkle at 09 July 2005 5:34 PM | Link to comment

Oh my gawd!!...fell off chair when I saw the true form of "Dickonorsaurus" LOL....

Cheers

Posted by: bing at 09 July 2005 5:38 PM | Link to comment

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Posted by: kisekino at 09 July 2005 5:45 PM | Link to comment

HAWO!

AHAHAHA

Posted by: ravey at 09 July 2005 8:05 PM | Link to comment

HAWO!

AHAHAHA

Posted by: ravey at 09 July 2005 8:06 PM | Link to comment

lmao you two siao biatches :P

Posted by: suanie at 09 July 2005 8:09 PM | Link to comment

yes, no doubt a graphic artist soon! the last picture is definitely ad quality, the kind u see on billboards. You have it all! subject (body shot), tagline (dickono...cus), and finally brandname (kennysia.com)!

Posted by: Mae at 09 July 2005 8:36 PM | Link to comment

Lol, i read minishorts version, hmm graphics really add more fun to the conversation really....hahahaha....

Posted by: dcyk at 09 July 2005 8:57 PM | Link to comment

HAHHAAHAHHAAHA BRILLIANT SIAL!!! I LOVE YOUR KEY LOCK THING!!

no no i dont mean i love your " key ", i just like the little animation u made. nothing little lah.....

so, i'm very fascinated with geology. can i please check your rocks??

Posted by: cheneille at 09 July 2005 9:16 PM | Link to comment

heys im new to the blogscene.wow haha so did the curiosity kill u n u went to measure it ?? =p

Posted by: cilong at 09 July 2005 9:53 PM | Link to comment

wahahah!!!
1st minishorts is super funny.
then u'rs is ULTRA funny!!!!

Posted by: vss3t at 09 July 2005 10:17 PM | Link to comment

wahahah!!!
1st minishorts is super funny.
then u'rs is ULTRA funny!!!!

Posted by: vss3t at 09 July 2005 10:17 PM | Link to comment

wah cannot tahan... sooo funny lah!

Posted by: shida at 09 July 2005 11:22 PM | Link to comment

So.

After talking for so much,

How long is it lah?

Posted by: st@r at 10 July 2005 12:04 AM | Link to comment

hahaha that was a good post man

Posted by: k-e-n-n-e-t-h at 10 July 2005 12:39 AM | Link to comment

Well, the most accurate measurement for your brader is from the base of your thumb(the line) till the end of your index finger...minishorts, you have any picture of kenny's right hand, you would know the answer.....try it,kenny and you would know i'm telling the truth...

Posted by: chris at 10 July 2005 12:39 AM | Link to comment

hahaha that was a good post man

Posted by: j-a-r-e-d at 10 July 2005 12:40 AM | Link to comment

Posted by: chris at 10 July 2005 12:49 AM | Link to comment

If cheebye length is measured by width the lips then hole size must logically be measured by diameter of the mouth.
KNN, if that's the case, the distance from the top of the forehead to the bottom of the chin or distance between the left and right ears should measure the WIDTH of our cock and not the length.

Posted by: CharSiewFan at 10 July 2005 12:57 AM | Link to comment

one thing comes to mind now: coneheads!

Posted by: elb at 10 July 2005 1:09 AM | Link to comment

the key and lock gif was funny! XD

Posted by: wahlui at 10 July 2005 2:14 AM | Link to comment

now i know why horses have such long faces !

Posted by: ahbeR at 10 July 2005 3:31 AM | Link to comment

"insert key remove key insert key remove key.." hahahaha too cute! :D in a very perverse way o.O

i still crack up *lol.

Posted by: laineylashes at 10 July 2005 3:54 AM | Link to comment

You know what? My friend does this all the time, it's a pratice he preaches to almost everyone he meets with a "Key Length" measurement accuracy enquiry. That is by clenching your fist, stretch your middle finger with all your might to your wrist , mark that then open up your hand , measure the marker up till the tip of your middle finger & *VOILA*....That's your actual "Key Length"...

Anyways,Kudos to this "Dicknosaurous Key Topic". It's superliciously Funny.

Happy Measuring..

Cheerios

Posted by: ShaVaN WaTeVA at 10 July 2005 4:42 AM | Link to comment

why oh why lolll my boyfriend agrees with mini-shorts!!!

every single statement :o

i wonder...

Posted by: Panda at 10 July 2005 4:46 AM | Link to comment

OMG, this is so INCREDIBLY HILARIOUS! Thanks a million for this superbly entertaining post! =)

Posted by: Rory at 10 July 2005 4:50 AM | Link to comment

DARN FUNNY CONTENT + DARN FUNNY PIXS = KNN SIBEH FUNNY!!! WAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...

*cant help it with the caps...muahahaha

Posted by: 9 at 10 July 2005 5:12 AM | Link to comment

I am 12 and Form one student, do u think what u write is decent for kids like me?

I know what she trying to ask. Should I meet this girl and do something? even though I may just reach puberty?

Posted by: Alfred at 10 July 2005 9:50 AM | Link to comment

I am 13 and Form one student, do u think what u write is decent for kids like me?

I know what she trying to ask. Should I meet this girl and do something? even though I may just reach puberty?

Posted by: Alfred at 10 July 2005 9:50 AM | Link to comment

Hey dude, does she know the "十哩正宗客家祖傳 Girth measurement" ? Get a piece of paper, fold it corner to corner twice. Place the "center corner" on your thumb's nail, tear the little "quadrant" according to the length of your nail. Open up the piece of paper, fit your "choy" into the hole, now think of "相屌" check it out, right on the money. with plus/minus 0.1 mm acceptable measurement erroe.

Posted by: e at 10 July 2005 10:37 AM | Link to comment

我的天啊... Kenny, Kenny, Kenny... what are we to do with you?

I will forver have nightmares when I'm trying to open my hostel door, damn it!

Posted by: maggie at 10 July 2005 12:26 PM | Link to comment

我的天啊... Kenny, Kenny, Kenny... what are we to do with you?

I will forver have nightmares when I'm trying to open my hostel door, damn it!

Posted by: maggie at 10 July 2005 12:27 PM | Link to comment

wah lau.....good thing i read this at home...

Posted by: hankyo at 10 July 2005 12:30 PM | Link to comment

brilliantly hilarious! *applauds. Maybe u shld do a kenny and mini shorts show... blog..

Ruud vanistelroy has a long face noe... haha...

Posted by: becca at 10 July 2005 12:32 PM | Link to comment

Your're funny lah, Kenny!

Posted by: Jessica at 10 July 2005 1:28 PM | Link to comment

HAHAHAHAHA!

You 2 are really funny!!!! =X

Posted by: esther at 10 July 2005 1:42 PM | Link to comment

OMG i busy with work for a few days and you do this to me. *WAILS*

Posted by: minishorts at 10 July 2005 3:11 PM | Link to comment

ROTFLMAS!!!

Posted by: babysalad at 10 July 2005 4:19 PM | Link to comment

ROTFLMAO!!!

Posted by: babysalad at 10 July 2005 4:19 PM | Link to comment

I first read this piece at minishorts' site, and it was hilarious. Even so, you spiced the thing up with your photoshop skills hilariously!

Posted by: Wan Zafran at 10 July 2005 10:49 PM | Link to comment

I first read this piece at minishorts' site, and it was hilarious. Even so, you spiced the thing up with your photoshop skills hilariously!

Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 10 July 2005 10:57 PM | Link to comment

Damn funny lah! Eh Kenny, U shd consider sitcom script writing for Malaysia sitcoms since they are so corny and crappy!

Posted by: Tan Silly Latuk at 10 July 2005 11:49 PM | Link to comment

damn it is funny.
But why she need to know ur size?
to compare with eric?

Posted by: MengZ at 11 July 2005 12:52 AM | Link to comment

ARGHHHHHHH THAT animation with your putting the key in out in out in out of the lock is just TOO 18SXXXXXX!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT! Ppl damn innocent here wei! I feel tainted *sniff*

Posted by: FireAngel at 11 July 2005 9:17 AM | Link to comment

My god its soOoo funny....Its so early now and this really cheer my day out man...

Posted by: Penny at 11 July 2005 9:48 AM | Link to comment

eh kenny, why the first two dick pictures doesn't have the signature kennysia.com in it....only the scientific name one got.....hahaha u wanna prove something isit :P

Posted by: dcyk at 11 July 2005 10:53 AM | Link to comment

Key pr0n ALERT!

Posted by: barffie at 11 July 2005 2:10 PM | Link to comment

i am just so glad to have faithfully remembered not to drink water while reading ur blog.

u r a crowd pleaser no doubt.

Posted by: whateverstreet at 11 July 2005 5:04 PM | Link to comment

i am just so glad to have faithfully remembered not to drink water while reading ur blog.

u r a crowd pleaser no doubt.

Posted by: whateverstreet at 11 July 2005 5:05 PM | Link to comment

I had a very good time looking at the key-lock image. I reckon I spent about 4 minutes looking at it.

Posted by: Lainie at 11 July 2005 8:17 PM | Link to comment

haha. star wars?

Posted by: charlene at 11 July 2005 8:21 PM | Link to comment

Why is the "out" stroke so much faster/more powerful than the "in" stroke? Is that your special technique? I'll definitely have to try that out on the wifey. :D

Posted by: Curtis G. (aka Su Ku Kia) at 12 July 2005 1:16 AM | Link to comment

lol thats one damn hilarious conversation.

dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus anybody?

Posted by: Menzoberranzan at 12 July 2005 6:32 PM | Link to comment

its actually the length from the base of the palm to the tip of the middle finger... i've been told...

Posted by: rijac at 14 July 2005 2:38 AM | Link to comment

Wah lao!!! two siao ginnah wrecking havoc in cyberspace... your gif image is tainting my innocent eyes!!!! *argh*

Posted by: Geroithe at 14 July 2005 11:09 AM | Link to comment

cool stuff bro, makes my 5 mins reading real funny :)

Posted by: Wu_Gui at 21 July 2005 11:19 PM | Link to comment

i have to admit this is so funny

Posted by: anony at 14 August 2005 4:25 AM | Link to comment

Haha...this is a good one...

Posted by: charlize at 15 August 2005 8:48 PM | Link to comment

FUCK this is funnnnny shit la
dude keep it up

Posted by: kelvin at 06 December 2005 8:58 PM | Link to comment

acording to some girls i know height and feet are a factor
height: for the angle of the dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus
and feet for the rough size in some twisted estimation system

Posted by: random dude at 03 February 2006 1:42 AM | Link to comment

8 outta 10 guys its the lenght of your thumb till your index finger , ( L Shape ) from 1 tip to the other

Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 04 February 2006 11:31 AM | Link to comment

bwawawaahhahahahaha!!!

SO FUNNY!!!

so how big???

Posted by: ezer at 06 September 2006 12:59 PM | Link to comment

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...

Posted by: Savion Miner at 13 November 2006 2:44 AM | Link to comment

adsfffffffdfdsgsd

Posted by: hhdasf at 06 February 2007 12:20 PM | Link to comment

well, how long is urs? :P

Posted by: yushi_gurl at 16 April 2007 6:29 AM | Link to comment

So far.. length and breath of the guys's nose is accurate b4 erection.. hhaa

Posted by: The Horny Bitch at 29 November 2007 10:42 AM | Link to comment

"Kenny : how would u like it if ppl say they can measure ur cheebye length by the width of your lips.

Kenny : gross rite
minishorts : got such thing meh
Kenny : everytime ppl look at u, u'd feel violated."

09 July 2005

Talk Cock King At His Best

87 Comments:

Post a comment

Chatterbox

More Me

Categories

Archives

Search

RSS Feeds

Credits