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14 July 2005
Short Talk:

Two more sleeps till Bloggers.SG!
Date: 16 July (Sat)
Blogging Workshop
Venue: Woodlands Regional Library Auditorium
Time: 10 am to 12 pm
Bloggers.SG Singapore Bloggers Conference
Venue: DXO at Esplanade
Time: 2 pm till late
Note: Got bellydancers leh. No, I'm not one of them.
If you wanna say hi to me, I'll be at both events.
Guide To Writing Friendster Testimonials For People You Don't Know
One of my pet peeves with Friendster is seeing people writing testimonials for people they don't know.
I'm sure we've all seen testimonials like these before:
"HmmMMMmm... I dUnNo HeR 1 BuT shE ix berii cuTez aNd preTTyzzzzzzZZZZzzz.....!!! tHx f0R addinG mE tO yOuR FrenZ LiSt! StAy CutEz aNd PreTTy AlWiZZZZZzzzzz!"
Nabeh. You call that a testimonial?
Friendster limits people over 18 to join, but I swear my IQ dropped by half when browsing profiles of those 14 year olds, who cleverly pump their age up to 18 to fool the system. Some even more kiasu and put their age as 84 years old instead. Like talking to ah mah very appealing like that.

Does she look freakin' 84 years old to you?
I think at the very least, testimonials should contain some substance about the person. They should describe the habits and traits of that person beyond what their profile pictures. Obviously that's a little difficult considering the person who gives the testimonial and the person who receives it probably never even conversed at all.
So what I'll do here is provide some hints on how to write good testimonials for people you've never met.
If you see them somewhere else, remember, you read it first at kennysia.com

1. Pretend Like They Are Your Long Lost Friend
"WENNY~~~~~!!!! So surprised to see you here on Friendster! ^_^ Haven't heard from you since Form 3! I thought you went to Afghanistan liaw. But I chatted with Mr Laden on MSN last night and he said you were in London last week? What are you doing there? Keeep in touch ya???"
2. Give 'em A Trip Report
3. Treat 'em Like Weight Loss Products"T+00: read Wenny Sia's profile.
T+02: surroundings become blur. v nice visuals.
T+03: getting warm in here.
T+05: everything's so surreal.
T+07: my face is numb
T+10: feel like vomitting.
T+14: effects v strong now.
T+15: shit. cannot hold back. i'm nauseating
T+19: regurgitated on my keyboard. fuck."
4. Rate 'em Like How Sammyboy Rates 'Em"After looking at Wenny's picture, my appetite disappears suddenly. I'm no longer hungry, and I stop having cravings. In fact, food isn't all that interesting to me anymore. After 10 days, I lost 6kg of weight, 4% of bodyfat and 2 inches off my waist.
Thank you Wenny Sia!"
"Met her at L6H9.
looks: 4/10 (very average)
body: 5/10 (a bit fat. boobs hairy.)
CB: 6/10 (trimmed)
AR: din provide. din ask.
BJ: 1/10 (kena teeth a lot)
FJ: 8/10 (accomodating. tried many diff positions until CIM.)
Damage: $40
RTF: never in a lifetime"
:: Posted by Kenny at 3:30 AM | Link | Facebook It
:: Categorised as 'Thoughts & Musings'
55 Comments:
lol kena teeth :p
Posted by: Kuzco at 14 July 2005 3:46 AM | Link to comment
Very true my friend!
Posted by: Adam C at 14 July 2005 4:13 AM | Link to comment
another great post :D
Posted by: eklim at 14 July 2005 5:09 AM | Link to comment
Wahahahaha. You read Sammy Boy too? Notti notti. Sure you know what those abbr. mean or not? NB! I wanna say hi but I'm so so far away! Have fun at Blogger con, Kenny.
Posted by: vandice at 14 July 2005 5:49 AM | Link to comment
very nice, kenny, very nice. love testimonial style #4. i didn't know you were trimmed? LOL.
Posted by: Irene at 14 July 2005 6:05 AM | Link to comment
dude, i think they put da age: 84, age: 86 ..... is bcoz they were born on that year ? am not too sure either.. just guessing ;)
nice reading ya blog!
Posted by: alister at 14 July 2005 8:13 AM | Link to comment
hmmmm .. if i can make it, pls let me take a pic with ur big coconut ..
Posted by: Knight at 14 July 2005 8:40 AM | Link to comment
I did an experiment with Friendster,put in my real 'ah mah' age.
Result?---I haven't got a single friend...yet. Perhaps u want to patronise me?
Posted by: jade at 14 July 2005 9:28 AM | Link to comment
Tsk tsk. Looks like you're familiar with Sammyboy's rating method. Tsk tsk. Tsk tsk. I can't tsk enough.
Posted by: FF at 14 July 2005 9:43 AM | Link to comment
I will be stalking you.
Be afwaid. Be welly afwaid.
Belly lancer sexsaaay. All sho schlim one.
Posted by: barffie at 14 July 2005 10:28 AM | Link to comment
OMFG OH MAN #4 WAS GOLD.
Posted by: Mr. "M" at 14 July 2005 10:38 AM | Link to comment
Looks like someone's actively reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to Geylang.
Now we know what Kenny Sia is coming to Singapore for.
Posted by: uzyn at 14 July 2005 10:53 AM | Link to comment
Eh, eh. Lemme maintain my innocence.
I don't READ Sammyboy per se. Rather, I know what its all about.
FF! Stop Tsk Tsk-ing! If it weren't for your blogspot entry on Sammyboy I wouldn't even know a single thing about it! ;)
Posted by: kennysia at 14 July 2005 11:07 AM | Link to comment
Hey Kenny, thanks for adding me to your friendster's list tho'. No, I'm not one of those kids but nevertheless, I gotta admit, I've been reading your blog for a few weeks now (shame on me for not stumbling upon it earlier, huh!) and I've been hooked ever since.
Hell, I've even ditched aside my client's proposal so I can log on to kennysia.com for my daily dose! Yeah it's that bad but then you totally rawk! U're way too funny... hopefully my boss doesn't catch me laughing in front of my PC for too long. Keep it up!
Posted by: Jamie at 14 July 2005 11:39 AM | Link to comment
At least your guide looks authentic. it's 10 fold better than those testis using numbers and alphabets to form some kinda dolphin and rose signing off with cliche greetings like happy always and good luck.
Posted by: Jimbo at 14 July 2005 11:45 AM | Link to comment
Friendster iS tEh sUckZ dUdE~~~~
OmG eRrRRRr hi! wAn 2 fReN mE?!?
Posted by: ShaolinTiger at 14 July 2005 11:59 AM | Link to comment
No BBBJ ah?
I dislike it more when people describe themselves as "a simple girl".
Posted by: Agagooga at 14 July 2005 12:26 PM | Link to comment
er.. i'm guilty of "He is an asshole. Period."
but hey, that's some substance of my friend no? he even accepted the testimonial.
Posted by: zhe bin at 14 July 2005 12:33 PM | Link to comment
HELOO!!! KENNY SIA! So long tome no see!!! How Are you? I tought you got Married eh? So how was it? How many more months till become Papa?
*Steals your KFC Hot & Spicy Chicken*
Posted by: n305er at 14 July 2005 1:12 PM | Link to comment
yes.. i agree wif u but mm .. sometime i wrote testi like tat .. cos i had no idea to write wat .. so tat y ...
Posted by: sally at 14 July 2005 3:39 PM | Link to comment
Eh, sorry, can somebody provide the meaning to the abbr in #4? A little lost!
Posted by: Janus at 14 July 2005 3:39 PM | Link to comment
I'm puking twisties now after i saw your profile, thereby i'm gonna ban you from my list.
Posted by: chris at 14 July 2005 6:07 PM | Link to comment
come to think about it.. my age is 84 in friendster too....
Posted by: michelle lee at 14 July 2005 6:17 PM | Link to comment
Right, you just highlighted some of the reasons as to why I find reading profiles on Friendster to be an irksome activity.
Really, there's too much crap on Friendster testimonials, and people post stupid forwards and messages that are totally irrelevant to the concept of testimonials. Comments like "Hey, hi, how are you?" should be reserved for the Messages feature, you know?
Either they're blind, or just plain ignorant.
Posted by: xaph at 14 July 2005 7:47 PM | Link to comment
eh kenny, explained to us what the shortforms meant!
AR: din provide. din ask.
FJ: 8/10 (accomodating. tried many diff positions until CIM.)
RTF: never in a lifetime"
AR, FJ, RTF, CIM!
Please explain! :D
Posted by: Missy Claris at 14 July 2005 11:12 PM | Link to comment
Very farnee...! Thanks for the tips. Man, Friendster testimonials will never be boring and irritating again.
Posted by: coolcat at 15 July 2005 12:41 AM | Link to comment
yalah. so true..
some ppl even copy n paste testimonials..
omg. freakin' lame.
Posted by: shxrxn at 15 July 2005 12:47 AM | Link to comment
Hell-larious. As usual.
Posted by: Curtis G. (aka Su Ku Kia) at 15 July 2005 1:07 AM | Link to comment
Y u NeVa LeAve FreNsTeR TesTiMoNiaL 4 miiiiiiiiii?????!!!!!
NoW i DuN waN 2 FreN u LiAooo wOrrr!!! :(
Posted by: sassyjan at 15 July 2005 4:29 AM | Link to comment
th
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 15 July 2005 7:33 AM | Link to comment
hey that 84 yr old girl is from the philippines! hahaha! i'm from the philippines and i read your blog...ur one funny guy :)
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 15 July 2005 7:41 AM | Link to comment
hey that 84 yr old girl is from the philippines! hahaha! i'm from the philippines and i read your blog...u r really funny :)
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 15 July 2005 7:41 AM | Link to comment
crap this entry cracked me up!!!!! you're a funny guy dude. i love your blog.
Posted by: foxymophandlemama at 15 July 2005 9:11 AM | Link to comment
DUDE! i wrote the same entry like this last year.
Posted by: blac_x at 15 July 2005 6:39 PM | Link to comment
Phew, for a moment I thought I was the only non-idiot out there in Friendster world. Does anyone get really lame and stupid things in their "Most Popular Searches in Your Network"? I swear my network is made out of idiots.
And shit kenny...
FJ: 8/10 (accomodating. tried many diff positions until CIM.)
Did u really have to put this image of you finishing off on your alter-ego??? Bastard...
Posted by: Jon at 16 July 2005 1:57 AM | Link to comment
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Another good one
Posted by: GreatBallsOf at 18 July 2005 1:17 AM | Link to comment
cool post...
Posted by: kat at 01 August 2005 3:14 AM | Link to comment
***__________
** /\____ ____\
** \/___ \ \____/
******** \ \ \
********* \ \ \
******___\ \ \___
*****/\_________\
*****\/_________/
* __
*/\ \
*\ \ \
**\ \ \
***\ \ \________
****\ \ _________\
*****\/__________/
* __****** __
*/\ \*****/\ \
*\ \ \****\ \ \
**\ \ \****\ \ \
***\ \ \___\_\ \
****\ \________\
*****\/________/
** __*******__
**/\ \******/ /
**\ \ \****/ /
***\ \ \**/ /
****\ \ \/ /
*****\ \ /
******\ \ /
*******\/
* __****** __
*/\ \*****/\ \
*\ \ \****\ \ \
**\ \ \****\ \ \
***\ \ \___\_\ \
****\ \________\
*****\/________/>>
Posted by: rhoda theresa enriquez at 26 August 2005 7:28 PM | Link to comment
I like this gurl
Posted by: bryan at 04 March 2006 2:46 PM | Link to comment
that girls is cute man !
u have her hp ?
just kinddin ,,, :op
Posted by: benjamin and yus at 10 July 2006 4:52 PM | Link to comment
hey.....
i like this...
how bout changin' background ?
just kiddin'.....
Posted by: purpleist at 02 November 2006 1:59 PM | Link to comment
CuTe Nmn NyAn.....UsefUlL tALagA AdD NyU Ko Sa FrIeNdsTer.....e2...joyce_iballa011@yahoo.com
Posted by: jOyCe at 14 March 2007 8:32 PM | Link to comment
alam nio bah kung panu ung mga overlay sa frienster d ako marunong mag code ng ganun ehhh
Posted by: earn214 at 22 March 2007 8:53 PM | Link to comment
Coooollllll!!!!
Posted by: as at 06 April 2007 12:59 PM | Link to comment
hello guyz
Posted by: gerard way at 27 May 2007 6:03 PM | Link to comment
i,,love,,you,,all
Posted by: rose.mendoza at 05 July 2007 5:11 PM | Link to comment
aiya~ only if my name is not wenny lah *sour*
Posted by: Wenny at 16 July 2007 2:31 AM | Link to comment
hi der...
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 09 October 2007 3:51 PM | Link to comment
"payat... hehe pero cute kita nyo nnaman sa frienster ko di ba"
Posted by: Lhiandra at 27 January 2008 10:48 AM | Link to comment
That looks very funny kenny.
Posted by: David Chew at 27 January 2008 7:58 PM | Link to comment
help...for me testimonial adn comment
Posted by: gfunk hegit at 27 April 2008 4:19 AM | Link to comment
lol nice!
Almost fell off my chair laughing at the picture.
Then i really fell off after reading the ratings :P
Great blog dude.
Posted by: Sean at 28 April 2008 4:08 PM | Link to comment
hi i am skalera my question is how can i make more frinds here in frindster if all profile are in privacy mode? how can i veiw people if there picture are in private mode how can invite them?
Posted by: skalera at 05 May 2008 5:24 PM | Link to comment
hi i am skalera my question is how can i make more friends here in friendster if all profile are in privacy mode? how can i veiw people if there picture are in private mode how can invite them? thank you pls reconsider
Posted by: skalera at 05 May 2008 5:27 PM | Link to comment
AR: din provide. din ask.
man naughty naughty!
I could agree with you about the annoying testimonials and even worse they "upgraded" themselves by sending images/flash it become extremely annoying when you want to browse through some pretty face's profile, as they love to approve those nia beh comments haha
Posted by: lauyee at 05 September 2008 6:21 PM | Link to comment


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