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30 May 2005
Wax Hand Union Review
Making a wax model of your own hand seems like the newest money-wasting fad in town.
Good to see. Nice to hold. Totally useless like an asshole.
I spotted one these Wax Hand Union kiosks in Tun Jugah Shopping Centre a few months back. Since then, a couple more of these kiosks mushroomed all over town, usually manned by bored-looking Ah Bengs napping in their seats.
As is the case with every other fad franchising business, these kiosks eventually lose money, close down, and slowly disappear one by one.
Out of curiousity, I got a wax model of my hand done a long long time ago. Naturally, I chose the most appropriate hand gesture that came to mind.
"WHAT? WANNA FIGHT AH? NAH!!! KANEBO CHAO CIBA VISION!"
That was around two months back. I kinda left the wax model in the cupboard and forgotten all about it. The recent spate of childish attack comments on my site suddenly reminded me that I had this 'secret counter weapon' hidden away.
Unfortunately when I dug it out of its box, I found this instead.
Oops.
Damn. There's nothing more frustrating than a body part turning flaccid when you needed it most.
So anyway, I was at Tun Jugah yesterday shopping for some business shirts at G2000 when I impulsively decided to get another wax hand model done.
The girl at the counter quoted me the price of RM10 for a single hollow hand wax, an additional RM5 for a base, and another RM15 if I were to make it solid.
Exhibit A: A typical money-losing business.
I was tempted to pay RM30 to go for the full package considering my middle-finger wax model had collapsed earlier. But then I thought RM30 for crappy wad of wax isn't worth it. She however, convinced me to go for a hollow model and if it were to collapse, she'll do me a solid one for another RM15. I agreed.
Ice Ice Baby.
I opted to do a wax model of my half-clenched fist.
The girl first immersed my hand into a container of ice-cold water. This is to numb my hand sufficiently for the hot wax later, but I think she overdid it. The water was so cold I almost went into hypothermia.
Feelin' Hot Hot Hot!
And here's my hand dipped into hot wax. I always thought 'dipping my hand into hot wax' sounded kinda kinky. Not this time.
She dipped my hand into cold water and hot wax alternately for a couple of times until a layer of wax forms on the surface. Its a little painful to have my ice-cold hand immersed into hot wax immediately. My half-clenched fist contracted involuntarily which means the end result probably wouldn't be what I wanted.
From this angle, it looked like I was tweaking her nipple but I swear its not like that.
Finally a thick layer of wax has formed tightly on my hand. The girl umm.... gave me a hand by peeling my shaped wax off. It felt bizarrely good. The sensation is like removing a tight sweaty hand glove on a hot day. I was lucky the hair on my hand didn't go with it.
All that's left to do is touch up on the model...
The HAND model, not the GIRL model!
Dip it into some coloured wax...
Choose between red, blue or yellow!
Attach it to the base...
Yes I chose a heart-shaped base. Don't ask. They don't have much choice.
TADA!
My very own wax hand model!
Brilliant, eh?
So, the next big question is then... what the foot am I gonna use this for?
Well my friends. Surprisingly, there are many ways an additional hand can come in err... handy.
For example, you can use it to act like you're in shock.
Put in on your desk and show people how much bling-bling you've got.
And err... I leave it up to your imagination here. ;)
Anyone have any other suggestions?
:: Posted by Kenny at 2:00 AM | Link | Facebook It
:: Categorised as 'Reviews'
43 Comments:
you could use it to throw a punch at those childish people instead of the finger ;)
Posted by: elb at 30 May 2005 4:09 AM | Link to comment
Oh man, dipping it in ice cold water then hot wax then ice cold water then hot wax sounds ... very kinky? DOnt leave it near anywhere hot!
Posted by: One Little Twit at 30 May 2005 5:51 AM | Link to comment
you're right to say those things are utterly useless. they're kind of freaky in a way. your first one was especially a rip-off hahah. but to their credit, it must take some level of 'expertise' in order to create such maginificent 'masterpieces'. LOL i actually thought it was your hairy leg you were dipping in the first picture ahahah
Posted by: lilyng* at 30 May 2005 6:52 AM | Link to comment
The small hole in your third hand actually hold the 'big bird' ?
Posted by: sandkan at 30 May 2005 9:01 AM | Link to comment
Haha. Make another wax model of your lightsaber and you can have fun. Haha. Btw, been a silent reader all this while and I hope u don't mind if I put ur link on my page.
Posted by: Din at 30 May 2005 9:22 AM | Link to comment
Fuck, dude. you've like got the hairiest arm i've ever seen on a chinese dude (those lebanese sand monkeys dont count)
Posted by: Jin at 30 May 2005 9:45 AM | Link to comment
dude...
I m also a hairy moneky like you....
I ain't really a chinese but i live in singapore... abd sg gals just love it.
I also kinda agree with the Saying "Hairy ppl r horny ppl"
Posted by: zeke at 30 May 2005 10:12 AM | Link to comment
Assholes are useful ok!!!!
If not how you poot poot?
Be grateful to your asshole! =p
Posted by: cakie at 30 May 2005 10:16 AM | Link to comment
maybe all his ball accusations ARE true after all
Posted by: Jin at 30 May 2005 10:17 AM | Link to comment
Singaporean girls like evrything AND anything, except for singaporean guys =p
Posted by: Jin at 30 May 2005 10:21 AM | Link to comment
Err, stick it to the wall & hang your underwear lorrr? hehehe...
Posted by: Joe at 30 May 2005 10:27 AM | Link to comment
Muahahah.. You actually went and did it the second time? :)
Posted by: Jase at 30 May 2005 10:34 AM | Link to comment
i think hairy guys r damn sexy.very hard 2 find hairy chinese guy like u la...
Posted by: babysalad at 30 May 2005 10:44 AM | Link to comment
wah..so much money to throw around ah! hmm saw tat in tun jugah too. hhee wanted to get one done but too expensive just for a wax thingy. hmm..
a suggestion, fly it over to perth. give it to tiffy on her 21st today! =p
Posted by: chrissiee at 30 May 2005 10:56 AM | Link to comment
wow kenny!! u r dammmmn hairy lar.. dammmmmmn SEXy!! haha!!
n i kinda agree with Din and Joe.. have fun with ur new toy!! ;)
Posted by: crazy at 30 May 2005 11:52 AM | Link to comment
half clenched fist should be able to hold a banana ;)
Posted by: belacans at 30 May 2005 12:20 PM | Link to comment
Hey Dude, Pix #7 reminds me a rather gross hardcore porno I once watched...or was it artificial insemination of Thorughbred horses on educational TV :)
Posted by: e at 30 May 2005 12:27 PM | Link to comment
Yoo Kenny~! I like ur central finger....ummm can use for a lot of purpose leh...can also consider multipurpose use....i think mostly u can use it to point and someone u don't like....hehehe...or maybe use for *cencored* and to make them *cencored*....hahaha...i learn CENCORED from Kennysia.com....don't play play leh...BEST IN Kuching!
Posted by: Jordan at 30 May 2005 12:47 PM | Link to comment
Hairy!
If you like wax, you could try doing Brazilian waxing. It's.. painfully enjoyable. LOL.
Isn't it like weird if you had to use your hand to hold ANOTHER hand to.. erm.. do as your last photo? Wouldn't it be easier and.. not to mention.. more sensational to use the first hand? I mean, the wax is like.. cold? And if things get heated up.. your new wax hand will probably become like your previous wax hand!
Posted by: st@r at 30 May 2005 1:37 PM | Link to comment
go scratch nipples.
Posted by: mk at 30 May 2005 1:47 PM | Link to comment
Find a pau. Place pau in wax hand.
Posted by: NSDS3HvLDjJd at 30 May 2005 2:15 PM | Link to comment
I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_I never knew waxing one's hand is a fashionable thing to do. And your suggestions on how do use the extra hand is really great....especially the last one >_
Posted by: Lyon at 30 May 2005 2:21 PM | Link to comment
your face reminds me of an old friend of mine, he's also a joker and always makes those around him happy! Now he's in malacca doing engineering but he plans to be a pilot.
Posted by: slick at 30 May 2005 8:03 PM | Link to comment
i like the put money to show how much blingbling part..=) i think i might get 1 too..jes for the sake of a namecard holder..
Posted by: Gambs at 30 May 2005 8:37 PM | Link to comment
oh, i know i know! you could bite ur wax nails instead of the real ones.. and never let your manicure go to waste again. Yay^^
Posted by: Ener at 30 May 2005 9:07 PM | Link to comment
the girl pretty sia!
Posted by: aunty at 30 May 2005 9:36 PM | Link to comment
They're right, Kenny... you really ARE quite hairy!
*Insert really lame joke here if your name was Harry and not Kenny.*
Posted by: maggie at 30 May 2005 11:39 PM | Link to comment
elb, oh yeahhh!
Twit, don't you think hot wax is kinky? Gee what's wrong with you! :D
lilyng, HAHA! Now why on earth would I wanna make a model of my hairy feet? To stick it up people's arse?
sandkan, I know I know. Unfortunately I clenched my fist too tightly.
Din, I'd be so flatter if you were to link to me. I love it when silent readers reveal themselves.
Jin, gee thanks! In a weird kinda way.
zeke, a lot of people tell me hairy arms is digusting. So I don't know how many people out there actually likes it.
cakie, I shall hold a birthday party for my asshole then.
Joe, haha! There's nothing like going to your bedroom and have someone hand you a clean pair of underwear.
Jase, yes I know, I know.
babysalad, tell me you think hairy legs are sexy as well and I'll hook up with you.
chrissie, well rm15 is the price of a meal anyway. Anyway I got tiffy her bday pressie already.
crazy, I hope you're not a guy when you say things like that!
belacans, I actually tried to put an ice cream cone on it. Didn't work. :|
e, HAHAHAHAHAHA!! My gawd, eddie! You and your dirty mind. ;)
Jordan, maybe I can use it to clean my arsehole at areas where the toilet paper can't reach. But I'm afraid it'll leave a wad of wax on my arse... which wouldn't look too good.
WanYi, phoar! That's the first time I hear that expression. "Brazillian waxing is painfully enjoyable." I wouldn't mind giving it a try and blog about it, but I'm afraid they're gonna wax my testicles off.
mk, the wax is too smooth to do any scratching lah.
NSDS3, eat pau off wax hand.
Lyon, its not all that fashionable. Its just really novel. :)
slick, too bad I holed up in Kuching doing something unrelated to engineering and have no immediate plans to fly SIA airplanes... mymy
Posted by: Kenny at 31 May 2005 12:36 AM | Link to comment
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA i so love the final application
Posted by: water_junk at 31 May 2005 1:34 AM | Link to comment
hiya,love yr blog pieces.haha,never fails to brighten my day!
keep blogging!
cheerios =D
Posted by: jac at 31 May 2005 1:39 PM | Link to comment
You're in KCH now? I'm back here too!
Posted by: Aileen at 31 May 2005 2:10 PM | Link to comment
Heh, they been doing this in KL for ages...
Second one came out really well!
I wonder how it would feel to wax your 11th finger..
Posted by: ShaolinTiger at 31 May 2005 3:10 PM | Link to comment
omg dude that was funny. Waxtacular!!!!
Posted by: kel! at 01 June 2005 12:42 AM | Link to comment
Haha...I was gonna suggest the last photo ever since I read the words 'half clenched fist'....haha
Posted by: Lainie at 01 June 2005 12:53 AM | Link to comment
Ha! My father also did the hand-wax at a Mother's day luncheon my sister took my parents to. After a few days the fingers droopped down. But it wasn't so bad because it was free ;)
Posted by: kampung gal at 01 June 2005 11:56 PM | Link to comment
bling bling = jewellery its not money in hip hop language.
Posted by: wannabdoc at 02 June 2005 8:28 PM | Link to comment
i didnt know you could do that with a fake hand ?
does it work?
or you need more curve between your finges???
Posted by: benjamin and yus at 05 July 2006 7:30 PM | Link to comment
a guy like you need a guy like me around... go to petaling street i'll prolly save 1/3 the money you spend and still have enough to buy you a wax job for your right hand ^_^
Posted by: cheryl at 24 August 2006 4:07 AM | Link to comment
Hey guy! I think it's really nice. But I wonder how could you take your hand out of the wax cover? Did they have to cut it?
Posted by: I'm A Chicken With No Name. BWAK BWAK BWAK! at 27 January 2007 4:10 PM | Link to comment
Yeah, I've seen this at the french castle, Berjaya Hills Resort - Malaysia. The stall was sorrounded by freaking lots of ppl and i wonder what the crap is that! I think the owner of this franchise is f****king rich. Anybody interested to setup one of these biz ^~^
Posted by: Gabriel at 09 March 2007 6:41 PM | Link to comment
hey you still there--what the hell is a RM30 is that money
Posted by: Randy at 21 March 2007 9:34 AM | Link to comment
Scratch ur back with the extra hand or carry ur coconuts...
Posted by: The Horny Bitch at 29 November 2007 9:18 AM | Link to comment
I do need to find one in Singapore to make this custom made hand wax, please advise do you have any shop in Singapore?
Posted by: Leo at 04 December 2007 12:14 PM | Link to comment
com
